If my heart knew half of what my head does
It wouldn't be so easy to break

Don't explore
Don't investigate
Don't fall in love
Don't give in to hate

Just be safe, dearest darling
For daring to be something more than you are
Could cost you the world
And another's heart.

How can I possibly know yours
if you don't pick up the phone
or tell me what it is
that you
want
?

I think I did, at least

Was there one to begin with?

Then why am I so lost?

When you wish for more
More than you're given
More than you'll ever get...

When you dare to contemplate a life with more
You're definitely sure
To drown.

If we were truly together
would it feel like all the roses
you ever gave me in these past six months
were so dusty that if you sighed a single breath as
you do every morning when you wake and I'm not there-
would it feel like that dust would fly higher than you ever had
into a vortex, a cyclone, a twister that devoured all you are and ever were?

But what with?
a stick
a stone

How about
my broken heart

it matches
the shattered pavement
anyways

If lyrics are just poetry...
     why are they so hard to write?

The smell of his smile
    drifts as we
         are called back downstairs
               and the cold comes back

If I was a painter, you know what I'd do?
I'd paint what I feel every time I'm with you.

In beautiful shades of grey and blue
Would be the scenes that are lacking you.

Dressed in red and clothed in sheets
Across the creaking plain she creeps
Undesired, then consumed in fire
The branches open with raw desire
Up the trunk she shimmies low
And that's when all the thoughts begin to go...
Fire first lights the leaves and the bark,
And overhead, her face is stark
She moves with grace and much cold poise
Caressing the wood with nary a noise
In and out of knotholes, her fingers threaten
And on the tree, a deep shiver sets in...

The alarm clock sounds,
     a hand shuts it down
          and silence- SILENCE-
               just lay back down, little tree...

It's not the taste of his lips
It's the smoke they imply
that keeps drawing me
in
i  n
i        n

So it finally happened.

And I'm feeling so philosophical.

So I'll drop this paragraph I'm supposed to purport Toulmin in and instead, drop a beat through pentameter that means nothing like it should.

Those words were spoken in the right order, in the right way, at the right time, when I needed to hear them most. He knew. YOU KNEW. How, I can't exactly be sure. Hell, I don't even know if your conciousness deigns to dwell in the reaches of digital activity where my poetic inner goddess reigns, but I can hope.

If you're reading this....

Tell me.

Do you mean to tell me
That you never recieved the letter
That I sent?

You have me pacified

For now

Seeing flowers in the convenience store
Leading up to today
Made me so
Happy

But now just thinking of them
Starting from 5 PM
Makes me feel
Hopeless

I couldn't stop myself from hoping, there, I said it.

But do I mean so little to you......these tears won't be repressed.

Don't hope for things, dear children.

Hope hurts.

Today, I'm going to try not to expect too much...

I don't like chocolate, but I would love your time...

Even if you didn't have the body of a god...

Vents of pleasure choke my lips
From that awakening hour
Dewdrops alight on my lone hips
In a gentle, warm rainshower.

I do not know if love is right
To describe what I have felt
But every time he holds me tight
I then proceed to melt...

To love his guise is to love a god
Of gold and emerald hue
I want your skin - is that so odd? -
As well as the rest of you.

I'd love a paragraph wakeup message every now and then...

I have been in an Adele sort of mood lately....

Don't you think it'd be ludacris if
Kissing you wasn't everything
That made my world spin?

You misread my meaning.

Can't keep my eyes from melting
Those tears that they've been smelting
Because loneliness is pelting
Poor young, forsaken me

Can't keep my eyes from wondering
Why silence is now thundering
Between us and its sundering
Poor young forsaken me

Can't keep my eyes from missing
Those lips that I've been kissing
But now they keep on enlisting
Poor young forsaken me

Enlisting me to cry and
Enlisting me to try

Because if he's not here beside me
Then I might as well have
Died.

I've had to discard my watch
And duct tape my clocks
Into a black electrical silence

Time is never enough
And with him,
I wish it'd stop
Completely

And life gets in the way
Tears aren't optional....
Not for me.

They're mandatory.

What were you going to say
Before my heart got in the way?

I had twenty
Beautiful souls
Following mine in a line
To a crooked, poetic summit

But two were lost along the way....
What have I done?
My leadership
Is crumbling.......
The peak is still so far away....

In the middle of the night
But he's not there
Only my alarm clock
blink, blink

Looking for the arms
He had around me
Just seconds before
blink, blink

But he's not there
And I drift back into unconvinced mourning until the morning.

Dreams never last, do they?

I almost said it.

But it wouldn't have been saying it.

Why am I such a coward......

No pressure?

I'd make myself a ticket home
But the destination's poor
For he's not where my family is
So I'd be left wanting more.

This cigarette within my hand
Is full of black, black ink
It comforts me to understand
Why smoke helps me to think.

These pearls around my neck, they itch
And burn and mock and ache
For their gloss represents a hitch
No one will ever make.

To be qualified as sacred
all you have to do
is open your eyes

they say more than your lips
ever will

Just another moment....just a little more time. The most sacred letter of the alphabet.....just j.

That moment when his speech lilts to a stop
and his irises darken
-just slightly-

and we stare...
breaking that sacred silence
is so hard....

But he can't stare at me like I want to stare at him.
I'm not worthy of that lavish attention.

"You have the most beautiful hazel eyes!"

My eyes are dark brown.

Give me the keys to your heart and let me ignite you.

Who's gonna drive you home tonight?

I think your initiating initial moves entails, indubitably, an interesting turn of events.....I want to investigate you. Initiate that for me?

Happy am I when I happen to hear your voice....how on earth am I to hold on to life when I hate being alone, not with you?

Good mourning.

Just woke up without his face next to me...
How can Fate be so cruel?
Is she alone too?

What we shared today wasn't just a hug....

It was a surprise.

I came into those arms expecting a brief enclosure....
And received stone walls that wouldn't let me leave.

Do I like being closed in, do you ask? You think I'm claustrophobic...because I pulled away?

If only there was more time.

Close those stone arms and take me captive.

I wouldn't mind at all.

When the camp counselor told us at age five
"Go take your night meds!"
I never thought that eleven years later
I'd be sitting in bed
Wishing that my remedy
Was holding me tight

Do you know
That you
Are a drug?

You're my marijuana.

I don't know whether to use you as my vice
Or as my healing.

Choice, choices....
And you don't make them easy.

******, the pain is worsening......
So do I medicate?
Or do I ignore the pain in my chest
And deal with the withdrawal......

No.
I'm not
That strong.