xavier thomas: Poems

Nov 20 · 197

My Daddy’s Sins

xavier thomas Nov 20

My Daddy’s Sins

Everyday, I ask myself:

“Is 20-30 minutes ⏰
of my pleasure
worth more than eternity? ♾️”

Carrying My Daddy’s Sins

#challenge #man #morals

Aug 16 · 174

That promise we made

xavier thomas Aug 16

That promise we made

I don’t want us being last options
For each other
When we can be primary choices
Over everyone else

Back in our 20’s

#promise #shared

Jul 11 · 137

I’m the man

xavier thomas Jul 11

I’m the man

My father of lust
Walking in sin like a plague.
Generation to generations,
Tasting different flavors of women as if they were like candy.
Lick one, bite one, crush another, **** another, wrap up your favorite
one back in that wrapper
to save for later.
Spreading your seeds without protection
across the nations,
populating the land like wildfire .

Papa is a freaky rollin’ stone.
An inheritance of your gift
being the middle child,
banking on hope I can even control these urges.
Self-discipline / Self-love of respect
for myself
by myself.
I’m just trying to navigate my way on the right path
yet, I find myself almost lost
falling in a pool pit of ****** tension

How much more challenging for black man, himself?

Just like my father,
Like father like son
Just like his sins
Like father like son
Just like just cause
Like father like son

I’m the man now trying to change

#father #traits

Jun 30 · 1.2k

Chemistry ⚛️

xavier thomas Jun 30

Chemistry ⚛️

Come on (love me) , let’s go (run with me)
Love, embrace the chemistry , or it’s just a dead fantasy
Come on (love me), you know I want love
Don’t make a fool of me, wrap me tight like jewelry
Get close (body) , don’t leave (stay next to me)
I endure the chemistry , let’s intense the fantasy
Come on (love me) , let’s go (run with me)
Come, (to me, to me) to me (to me, to me)

I love taking risk, that’s my love language (mines)
Kisses from my legs, coming towards my lips
Hold me side by side (sides) , have me clear my mind (my)
Royal as you are (you are), I’ll stay with you and fight
Don’t you ever go- alone
I’ll stay super close- in hopes
I desire you (just you), I know you desire me too ( It’s true)
Lets go make it right, and end this feud tonight

Get close (body) , don’t leave (stay next to me)
I endure the chemistry , let’s intense the fantasy
Come on (love me) , let’s go (run with me)
Come, (to me, to me) to me (to me, to me)

#endless #roses #garden #moral #moonlight #musical

Jun 30 · 154

Confusion ; press rewind ⏪

xavier thomas Jun 30

Confusion ; press rewind ⏪

Speaking guides
Silent kills
~
Guidance speaks
**** silence

Killing guidance
Speak silent
~
Unguided killer
Silently unspeakable

#thought #guidance #speak

Jun 30 · 421

persistence

xavier thomas Jun 30

persistence

I just need your persistence (persistence, persistence, persistence)
Come take me; don’t need permission
Heyy- eyy-eyy, Heyy- eyy-eyy
Slow dancing in my robe
Singing my love all over you

Thinking of the time we met
Bond we shared in thoughts of one another
Dates we had, paved the way to winning hearts acquired, worth valued
Still Singing all my love all over you

Moments of being caught up in the feelings
Having the thought of having you
Mmm,mmm
As long as your heart still desires
For a new purpose & memories,
You won’t regret this journey

Thinking of the time we met
Bond we shared in thoughts of one another
Dates we had, paved the way to winning hearts acquired, worth valued
Still Singing all my love all over you

I just need your persistence (persistence, persistence, persistence)
Come on baé
Come take me; don’t need permission
Heyy- eyy-eyy, Heyy- eyy-eyy
I just want to dance with you in my robes,
Ouuuuuu & I,
Am still singing my love all over you

Gotta sing all my love all on to you (just gotta sing, just gotta sing, just gotta sing)
You’re my soul that makes me dream of you, so true
(singing my love all over you, all on you, just been you) 4x
(singing my love all over you, all on you, just been you) 4x

#lover #friend #music

May 29 · 256

That reason is

xavier thomas May 29

That reason is

Becoming her life
After the hard aches
Brought back
Those inspiring eyes

God gave her a soul with life
Jesus gave her a heart with faith
Parents gave her a home with siblings
I gave her a world with commitment

#purpose #lifecycle #balance

May 2 · 288

Say you love me

xavier thomas May 2

Say you love me

Say you loved me for me
Yet, I’m being deceived
Place my faith on false dreams
Then you play me & flee

I’m just tired of playing your games for sure
Froze my heart for sure
Took this “L” like a fool
Became a dog cause of you
Love, i don’t want you no more
Someone will replace you for sure

No more, no
No more, no

Oh I bet
You’re regretting it now
I know you wish
You treated me different now (2x)

Want me back as your boo
A toy to re-use
Desperate like a fool
Karma’s cruel now to you

But I’m just tired of playing your games for sure
Froze my heart for sure
Took this “L” like a fool
Became a dog cause of you
Love, I don’t want you no more
Someone will replace you for sure

No more, no
No more, no

Oh I bet
You’re regretting it now
I know you wish
You treated me different now (2x)

#music #ghostwriting

May 1 · 325

Night shift 🥱

xavier thomas May 1

Night shift 🥱

Up again.
Can’t sleep well due to overthinking.
I guess.

1 min- I’m up watching tv, reading poetry, watching funny videos.

1 min- my body is shutting down, quick pass out,
phone in my hand slipping,
half asleep dreaming.

R&B plays
helping me dream better.

A rain storm
randomly appears,
singing its wrath through the skies
keeping me up, mannnn time is flying.

It’s not even supposed to rain tonight til Thursday.
It’s 3:30AM, yet, I swear it was just 2AM.
Alarm gonna go off soon.

If I think, God must be talking to me.

I need to go to bed

#sleepyhead #overthinking #heavy #hungry #rb

Mar 6 · 563

Even when, you don’t love yourself

xavier thomas Mar 6

Even when, you don’t love yourself

If God woke you
between 2-5am…
Would you seek what he sees?
Or run from his needs?

If he sent you an angel
Will you praise his might?
Would you ignore & hide?

You know…
rebel him & fight

What’s the point in being alive?
Faith; & pray things will get better.

#talk #message

Feb 2 · 226

Full Cup

xavier thomas Feb 2

Full Cup

She didn’t fill
what I currently was.

She filled
the position
of what I am
to become

Jan 14 · 818

📱💬 sweet

xavier thomas Jan 14

📱💬 sweet

You should come and pull up just kick back, while you relax
Lets engage that, then create
that, what a wild life
just a shy girl with all the right vibes
can’t replace that

Pull up come kick back, while you relax
We can unpack, then create that
I have a sweet tooth, you’re a sweet snack
Babe it can be us,
make good flashbacks

#text #me #date

Jan 12 · 338

Reckless

xavier thomas Jan 12

Reckless

Just talk to me nice now, baby,
ohhhhh

Take me to the edge , connection til the end

Got me thinking this life is truly worth livin’

In my feelings like, oh my, time is really on our side

Baby, I can not breathe,
without your love next to me,
ohhh
Baby, I can not breathe.
Definitely no, ohhh

I’m just reckless like you are
I’m just reckless like you are

Hmm, make me love again,
just

You made feel love again, oh

Your actions deeply talk
as
you communicate your thoughts
ohh

You’re the only one I desire towards, darling, mmm
I desire to pleasure your every need, babe
Place your love all on my faith
Let me mend your heart, my darling

Everything I’ve done, you’ve done, it shows
Goal is to make you feel right at home
There’s no need to ever feel alone
Now let’s grow together in this brand new home, baby

You won’t feel alone, won’t just feel alone, baby, oh

I won’t make you feel alone, won’t make you feel alone, lady
Make you feel at home, baby

You’re the only one , you know
You’re the only one , you know

#night #shift #heart

Oct 2023 · 237

Today

xavier thomas Oct 2023

Today

New day, my worries fade away
I feel your happiness
Times brought in a new companion
Friendship settle in
New day, feels so good, I pray
How fast the old days fade away.

New days, less mistakes
Blessings came upon yourself
Times changed, love has came
No confusion settled in, mmm

New days, I rise
Let the new journey begin
new day

“Cold world is getting hard to breathe
Hours change, it’s getting hard to see
Yet, your light helps me see
Lord, I thank thee”

New days, I avoid old mistakes
Sometimes it’s complicated during
urging times I start to feel less sane
So I write down your advice
that reminds me of
those down falls, a reminder of numbness

Then I ease my mind
by calling your name because I
don’t feel like I’m by myself.
Oh, oh, my
New days, I by myself
hoping I make you proud
crying out
Mmm, yeah, tearing up

Better behavior
So I pray for the new greater days
Constant laughter
So I pray for the new greater days
Different expectations
So I pray for the new greater days
And I pray new days continue day after day

#catch #save #remember

Oct 2023 · 547

Mention

xavier thomas Oct 2023

Mention

I’m having a moment
As you were revealed
Cause you are a Queen that
should have not been labeled
A fantasy, that’s real
My heart kept on beating, babe
Soul dancing inside
You made me feel good, then feel blessed, & feel life
Is this Paradise?

Crazy how I realized
The cutie pie of all the pies
If you don’t know then I’ll sing it
So, no need to wonder
Crazy how I realized
The cutie pie of all the pies
If you don’t know then I’ll sing it
So, no need to wonder

Let me ask how long
How long it’s gonna take for you to believe me baby?
Cause I unseen you in my life
Journey right by my side

You’re so appealing
Appealing in my life

It’s, crazy how I realized
The cutie pie of all the pies
If you don’t know then I’ll sing it
So, no need to wonder
Wonder

Crazy how I realized
The cutie pie of all the pies
If you don’t know then I’ll sing it
So, no need to wonder

Crazy how I realized
The cutie pie of all the pies
If you don’t know then I’ll sing it
So, no need to wonder
no need to wonder

no need to wonder
no need to wonder
no need to wonder
no need to wonder

no need to wonder
no need to wonder
no need to wonder
no need to wonder

#song #free #falling

Oct 2023 · 492

Life will be

xavier thomas Oct 2023

Life will be

Patiently, waiting
for the day
you ask me
how I feel about you
Instead of
you telling me
what you think,
what I may think,
about you

#nonbeliever

Sep 2023 · 134

Until the end

xavier thomas Sep 2023

Until the end

Dear father,
For once in my life,
I finally have someone who depends on me.

I asked for this blessing many times…
So, show me how to keep it.

Sep 2023 · 230

I guess…

xavier thomas Sep 2023

I guess…

when I first met you,
I thought life.
when your smile came,
quantity and quality balance
when we proceeded that kiss,
there was belief.
when intimacy came & finished,
it was partner & commitment.
when that ring was given,
intentions form a priority bond.

Just mine.

So now that you know how I feel.
When do you want me to come home?

Dear Love,
my sunshine that wakes me up early every morning
to let me know
a new day has come.
my hope,
in one day,
a graceful opportunity comes for us
to move towards
blessings upon blessings
from the most high
that protects us.
my treasure
I found
one man once lost
with low morals
blinded in the naked eyes through sorrow values.

#promises #words

Sep 2023 · 935

War Mouth

xavier thomas Sep 2023

War Mouth

Sabotaging your own relationship speaking nonexistent problems
that becomes problems later on

Shame on you

You became a whole
brand of
selfish deeds

#war #mouth #toxic #relationship #misunderstood

Sep 2023 · 205

Heavenly Deposits

xavier thomas Sep 2023

Heavenly Deposits

Hey,
Dear Father-
Thank you for waking me up this last morning.
Apologies for the delays, times been hard to
void some distractions, dear father.
Not enough time to gather these thoughts, however,
this day, I have to

Dear family- Just missing ya.
Saw the new addition,
it’s another little baby.
Congratulations.
Pray this one will succeed through their dreams with no complications.
I think it’s a blessing.
The way you all raise your kids,
new gen, from ignorance
hateful people who were hatin’.
Toxic traits wanting us to fail & fall off
from the village tree we created.
But before it was my time to leave,
I memorized the past for myself.
Flashing moments or two rewinding
between the fun & hectic scenes of life building & laugher.
Too much for one’s mind…
It’s been a-lot going on…
You can read the hidden messages in all of my poems.

Life was doing me wrong…
Humans were doing me wrong…
Final days, life & death, was knocking right at my door.
Wrote letters to encourage others to hold on strong.
Be thankful for the man above, his life, his voice & gift of passionate songs.

Jude 1:20-21 brought out those tears,
Having me grateful each time I read it.
Cause I kept crying
off so much when I accepted God kids.
And I don’t know what it is.
But along the way , I became sensitive
beyond than I imagine.
But never mind that, I’m fine, I’m sending this message with kisses & hugs
In hope you all smile.
Live a better life as I protect you from above.
Less you hurt
The deeper you love
More you show
the full is your cup.
Picture an organic hug
releasing all of the pressure or problems occurring in one’s mind
Sending love waves of energy.

Please hold each other down
Y’all carry the crowns
You ever need me, just pray & I’ll request from above to be present & show up
Until then, I’ll rest in power
I’m gone

Talk to me & I’ll show you my love

#rip

Jul 2023 · 494

Self reflection

xavier thomas Jul 2023

Self reflection

In simple terms:
I do not want you if God didn’t send you

Jul 2023 · 374

Your Liege

xavier thomas Jul 2023

Your Liege

Is a broken king any better than a mad one ?

Is a depressed queen tolerable than a deceitful one?

#loyal #subject

Jul 2023 · 891

Gym Rat

xavier thomas Jul 2023

Gym Rat

Are we here dedicated to the grind & gains?
Or
Are we here dedicated to the pics & liked views?

#gym #athletes #camera

Jul 2023 · 695

You’re first, not last, simply everything

xavier thomas Jul 2023

You’re first, not last, simply everything

You’re first, not last, simply everything
And the peace to all of my dreams
You’re my light, my boo, my North Star
You’re so desirable, that’s how you are.

I know it’s only, only one like you
There’s no copy that could ever replace you
Love, you’re what I’ve been waiting on
Keep your heart lifted forevermore
You’re first, not the last, simply everything

From you, I’ve learned so many things
A partner so wise, knowledge you bring
A joy so new it’s carries a pursuit of happiness this way.
You’re voice sings to me every brand new day

I crave your ways that I
Will stay by your side till I die
This is my reality, however, can’t believe it’s not a dream
You’re first, not last, simply everything

I know it’s only, only one like you
There’s no copy that could ever replace you
Love, it’s a real reality
But feels like a deep dream
You’re first, not the last, just simply everything

#simple #love #desire #music #us

Jun 2023 · 796

Thank you✌🏾

xavier thomas Jun 2023

Thank you✌🏾

For pushing me away
Cause I found someone who’s prepared to stay

Can’t save you

#ex #bye

Jun 2023 · 429

Let’s cruise tonight.

xavier thomas Jun 2023

Let’s cruise tonight.

☁️…
“Lol I’ll take you with me
some time
and we’ll watch airplanes
land/fly away
when the sun sleeps
into the night..
I’ll pick you up @8pm
as traffic dies down.”

#texting #cruise #summer

Jun 2023 · 3.2k

Your Queen/King

xavier thomas Jun 2023

Your Queen/King

Him:
Your love my Queen
Brightens my day and thoughts
Your love my Queen
Never breaks my heart
Your kisses sing
Time and time and time and
again
Grabbing the deepest parts of me
Bringing out the best in me
Opening the deep desires in me
I’m crying out for more

Her:
Your love my King
Brightens my day and thoughts
Your love my King
I’ll follow you, trust my heart
Your kisses sing
Time and time and time and
again
Grabbing the deepest parts of me
Bringing out the best in me
I’m crying out for more
Your love my King

Just look at us
Just look
Give it all a chance
Soul ties

Him:
Your love my Queen
Brightens my day and thoughts
Your love my Queen
Never breaks my heart
Your kisses sing
Time and time and time and
again
Grabbing the deepest parts of me
Bringing out the best in me
Opening the deep desires in me
I’m crying out for more

Her:
Grabbing the deepest parts of me
Bringing out the best in me
I’m crying out for more
Your love my King

Him:
This is no blind debate
We are a good team
This is no blind debate
We are, we are fully healed

Her:*
Come brighten my day and thoughts
Never break my heart
Mmm, grab me
Just look
Gimme a chance

Writing a love story together

#queen #king #sing #deep #together #yours #music

Jun 2023 · 1.1k

Just miss you

xavier thomas Jun 2023

Just miss you

How many more overnights
will there be of replays
playing memories, at 5am
knowing **** well I have
work in the morning?

Love disease

#mind #soul #thinking #sleepy #miss

Jun 2023 · 342

Default Triggers

xavier thomas Jun 2023

Default Triggers

Sometimes
Idk how to tell you how I’m feeling
Because I’m so use to
Giving the default response
-“ I’m doing good & you?”

Your words, not my actions

#mind #default #setting

Jun 2023 · 575

Oh wow 🫢

xavier thomas Jun 2023

Oh wow 🫢

That’s crazy
to know your intentions are
waiting on the decision(s)
I make- to hopefully fail,
just so you can say -
“I told you so!”

#petty #shame

Jun 2023 · 663

Keep it pushing

xavier thomas Jun 2023

Keep it pushing

My Boy just went through his girl phone & owweeeee he went from standing up to sitting on the floor….

I’ll see you at the gym my boy ✌🏾

#basketball #workouts #gym

Jun 2023 · 831

Exercise

xavier thomas Jun 2023

Exercise

Promise I would learn to respect myself
Sometimes I feel I failed myself
Where we’re going? I’m not sure
Hope love just lies ahead

Life is changing , yet we’re still here
Spoke life into these words
And the path feels unclear
You taught me & the children, “Believe in faith”
I feel closer, but not close enough

Can you show me the way please ?
Can you show me how to grow?
Can you show me how to grow?
Oh, I’m trying to reach the door

Can you show me the way please ?
Can you show me how to grow?
Give me a sign I’m getting closer to you
Oh, I’m trying to reach the door

I wrote those covenants to myself to not break those promises
Mostly for you, few for me
To learn how to love you peacefully
I wrote those covenants to myself to not break those promises
Mostly for you, few for me
To learn how to love you peacefully

Stay so close to you
Don’t want to disappoint you
Stay so close to you
Don’t want to disappoint you

Stay so close to you
Don’t want to disappoint you
Stay so close to you
Don’t want to disappoint you

#music #learn #love #rb #lifetime #sing

May 2023 · 802

Greatest Peace Boo

xavier thomas May 2023

Greatest Peace Boo

If I want you, if I want you now
Will you give me, will you give me the chance?
If I want you, If I want you to show love
Will you give me the greatest version of you?

You give away, you give away the greatest peace boo
You give away, you’re giving the greatest peace boo
So good to me

Listen to the rainstorm and it never felt so calm before
Listen to the rainstorm smooth as you
Listen to the rainstorm and you’ve never felt so good before
Give away something that’s peaceful boo

You give away the greatest peace boo
That’s why I’m choosing you
You give away the greatest peace boo
So good to me

I enjoy every moment of you
So wash me in your rain
Anything you want me to do
Just don’t let me wash away

Listen to the rainstorm and you’ve never felt so calm before
Listen to the rainstorm, you’re so smooth
Listen to the rainstorm and I’ve never felt so good before
Give away something that’s peaceful boo

You give the greatest peace boo
It’s why I have to choose you
You give away, just giving the greatest peace boo
So so so good to me

You have a valuable heart
Every time, I know you’re way too good for me
Every morning is forgiveness,
every night you have me reminisce
Will you give me the chance?
Will you give me, will you give me
The greatest version of you?

#music #peace #love #storm #great #version

May 2023 · 678

Hurt identity

xavier thomas May 2023

Hurt identity

Internally I blame self-consciously self-inflict imaginary damage to lower my bright soul into a box
externally unconsciously making
my body sick
blaming other elements
around me
as seasons change

When I think about it,
I replay your words
I shouldn’t have to answer to
knowing truthfully I did nothing wrong to make you think I’m untrustworthy or that I’m a threat.
But because guilt exist,
It causes me to think I actually did you wrong.

#quiet #storm #tired #nighttime

May 2023 · 934

Where I’ve been… (Pt.2)

xavier thomas May 2023

Where I’ve been… (Pt.2)

She wanna know my routine
And if my story’s clean
She wanna know what I’m doin’
And if I cheat
She says it’s all intentional
It’s killing me
I care about her heart & soul
But she’s not for me

You know we do a lot of back & forth
You know the moments been high, then really low
I unknowingly been guilt tripping myself
You know you accuse me fast like a pro
You know you have lack of trust in me
You know you treat me cold and that’s really cold
Those DMs, you were choosing me
You know at a time you were my Queen

You know you my brown sugar sweet maple
Know when I chose you, I admire your taste that’s natural
Know starting over isn’t the plan I want with someone else though
You were my type that I wanted to come home to

I gave you more hoping to see you at peace
I believe in your promise for many reasons
It’s hard to love a woman when you’re on the defense
Being reminded is one of many reasons why I’m leaving

#music #space #mind #feels

May 2023 · 803

Where I’ve been…

xavier thomas May 2023

Where I’ve been…

She wanna know my routine
And if my story’s clean
She wanna know what I’m doin’
And if I cheat
She says it’s all intentional
It’s killing me
I care about her heart & soul
But she’s not for me

You know we do a lot of back & forth
You know the moments been high, then really low
I unknowingly been guilt tripping myself
You know you accuse me fast like a pro
You know you have lack of trust in me
You know you treat me cold and that’s really cold
Those DMs, you were choosing me
You know at a time you were my Queen

I wanna ask you somethin, ask you somethin before I go.
What’s with the double-standards being in your favor for?
Anything said or done is a problem, it’s hysterical
And the more I think about it, it’s just getting old
I walked away quietly , thought we could build some trust
Since we’re separated , I won’t hit you up
We can find some peace from each other with no rush
Maybe someday time can change the
narrative between us

#music #space #mind #feels

Apr 2023 · 483

Growing Fruit

xavier thomas Apr 2023

Growing Fruit

Listen
This show is formalistic
Stones cleansing your soul, stepping away from you now
Cause you’re growing apart

Friction
Between us burning peace into pieces
You have issues that needs attention for now
Cause I’m growing apart

Grown living miles away
Growth unfolds in how we pray
Growing up from our old ways
There’s no one to blame, no
No

Grown living miles away
Growth unfolds in how we pray
Growing up from our old ways
There’s no one to blame, no
No

Tension
Trust no longer comes into existence
We should rule out priorities right now
Cause it’s growing apart

Leavin’
Mistaken my intentions with threaten
This relationship is way too defensive so now
We’re just falling apart

Grown living miles away
Growth unfolds in how we pray
Growing up from our old ways
There’s no one to blame, no
No

Grown living miles away
Growth unfolds in how we pray
Growing up from our old ways
There’s no one to blame, no
No

#music #story #breakup

Apr 2023 · 344

Peace- Piece?

xavier thomas Apr 2023

Peace- Piece?

Is it peace
or a piece
that you desire from me?

Peace- loving grace from me
Piece- taking my light from me

#human #behavior

Apr 2023 · 2.2k

Forgive me

xavier thomas Apr 2023

Forgive me

Future Wife-

~forgive me. forgive for
not waiting on you like I was supposed to during ***.
I allowed my hormones & flesh
give the best of what
truly belongs to only you, to them.

forgive me- I was
still developing
into a new man
from a damage soul
under numerous baggage,
carrying their faults into mine.

forgive me- cause it’s about **** time
you came my way
after all these years
just waiting. ~

#pressure #girl #time #worth #therapy #accountability #letter

Mar 2023 · 815

Soul is Tied

xavier thomas Mar 2023

Soul is Tied

There must have been an angel close near by
Something heavenly brought you to me
You must carry life
It’s the journey of love

There must have been an angel close near by
Something heavenly brought you to me
Angel let me see you
Angel let me see you

Angel guide you to my heart
Come my way…
How much joy of life inside?
A lot to say…

When you were led to me
You knew I was the one for you
I swear the heavens will see your soul’s complete
My eyes all on you
Ah-yeah-yeah-yeah-ah, mmm, mmm
I’ll project you in the journey of life

I give you this brand new life
Soul is tied
I give you this brand new life
Soul is tied

It is clear
From the start!
See the journey is filled with love
See this journey is full with love

Angel guide you to my heart
So, come my way…
How much joy of life inside?
A lot to say…

I give you this brand new life
Soul is tied
I give you this brand new life
Soul is tied
I give you this brand new life
Soul is tied
I give you this brand new life
Soul is tied

I give you this brand new life
Soul is tied
I give you this brand new life
Soul is tied

I’ll protect you in this journey called love
Every life time, babe
It must have been an Angel close near by
From above
Bringing you love
Bringing you love

I give you this brand new life
Soul is tied

#music #journey #story #life

Mar 2023 · 899

No disturbance (intro)

xavier thomas Mar 2023

No disturbance (intro)

Yeah, shining though
Jealous, but have history with me smiling though
Gave anything you need, yet spit on my name though
Gave myself some space, I know the lies you told
Used to be there for you at your highest lows
Used to come over just to watch episodes on HBO
Now it’s just silent, the convo’s are more personal
Drink all the energy vs. pour life for growth
No longer will I be your shoulder to cry on
All the love given from you was just for show
All the love became false, this not my first rodeo

#basketball #prayer #peace #brave #mature

Mar 2023 · 743

No disturbance (pt.2)

xavier thomas Mar 2023

No disturbance (pt.2)

Navigate through life, hoping the transition flows
Don’t know where I’ll end up as I grow old
Maybe the quicker I grow old, God will call me home
Last time I thought like this I was home alone
Asking the Lord to take me home, feeling unknown
Thinking people would like me better on my tomb stone
But I’ve grown, just not on my own, God set the tone

#basketball #prayer #brave #peace #mature

Mar 2023 · 576

No disturbance (pt.3)

xavier thomas Mar 2023

No disturbance (pt.3)

Yeah,
Avoiding a lot of poisonous views
Use to allow boundaries to cross paths in a painful bruise
Saw a side of myself that grew in mental abuse
Mind could’ve dispatch if I lose, but I never do
So I pray & hobby daily like it’s double shift
Reject any wicked ***** wealth swallowed, venomous slips
More blessings to come very soon for being genuine
Woke up to conquer another day, victory is mine to win

#basketball #prayer #peace #brace #mature

Mar 2023 · 564

No disturbance (pt.4)

xavier thomas Mar 2023

No disturbance (pt.4)

Remember the fun days with no money in our wallets?
Finding ways to hustle & stretch money to buy drinks like we’re alcoholics
nowadays we’re living luxury, smiling and laughing about it
Funny how that year changed us together, every time we talk about it
Memory flash, when I close my eyes at night
Waking up to a bright sun to a new day at life
Trying to remember that good dream before those flashing lights
Rest assured, my bond for you is right
Get no rest days, work 80 hours in 6 days
Never settle for temporary short-change
Improved to upgrade, therapy session really had me locked in
Time flies like a man in his dream sleepwalking
Went from Club “Lit” Saturday nights, to club “Life”
Club “Life” to creating a club at home with family and kids
My priority change when I decided to pursue this
Intentions will come at you at the highest expense
Especially actions that represent the real me
And frame a reflection, in the mirror, to really get a good look at me
Whatever helps cut down my image flaws to bloom a better me
No one knows my flesh that harm me, trying to build a lesser me
But God’s love armored me successfully

#basketball #prayer #brace #peace #mature

Mar 2023 · 557

No disturbance (pt.5)

xavier thomas Mar 2023

No disturbance (pt.5)

Up 5am with urgency, sticky note on the mirror reminding me
“Be good to people, be good to yourself organically”
Aiming to let go of the past that has burden me
Focus only towards today vs tomorrow and tread carefully
Another chance to shine, in hope my enemies take it personally
I take it to heart, demonstrates the desire to succeed fearlessly
The vision board written for God will create wonders for me
My legacy will leave a legacy, a generational love
A blood line of chosen angel warriors build ready to serve throughout eternity
A fearful reflection for my enemies who develop insecurities
Behind closed doors, falling short in hatred worshiping
Don’t need to worry, cause their views doesn’t concern me
The faithful ones will learn how to strive for peace through me
As I continue to strengthen my obedience in discipline maturely
Living everyday as my last under purpose with authority
My ambition is centered around competition & collective security
Take some time off to focus more on recovery
I hope someday the grind retires me & the reward humbles me
By the end of 2023 I’ll give you a full summary

#basketball #prayer #brave #peace #mature

Feb 2023 · 330

As you are

xavier thomas Feb 2023

As you are

You don’t feel loved cause
YOU DON’T FEEL LOVE

Feb 2023 · 1.0k

Imagine that

xavier thomas Feb 2023

Imagine that

It hurts to know I was the last image you saw before you found your soulmate

#goodbye #hug #love

Feb 2023 · 1.0k

Not desperate tears

xavier thomas Feb 2023

Not desperate tears

I’m not afraid to lose you in the process of us becoming better people.
I’m not afraid to tell you the truth even if it hurts a little.
I’m not afraid to compromise time in exchange for peace.
I’m not afraid being vulnerable, though, I’m automatically viewed as weak.

All past doors were sealed.
So nothing will interfere.
Work to take proper care to be in the presence of a new journey.
So natural growth can bloom there.
Right before we got together.

Yet, I catch myself overthinking during crucial conversations because I don’t want to mess up.
Learning to give room for human error.
Despite it all; I am still in love with you…

You, my love, You

#feelings #think #vulnerable #her

Feb 2023 · 804

Therapy

xavier thomas Feb 2023

Therapy

Me: "I'm going to acknowledge you, first."
Her: "I'm going to trust you, more."

#marriage #better #team #us #baby

Jan 2023 · 112

S.T.F.U.

xavier thomas Jan 2023