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Feb 2 · 121
Full Cup
She didn’t fill
what I currently was.

She filled
the position
of what I am
to become
Jan 14 · 318
📱💬 sweet
xavier thomas Jan 14
You should come and pull up just kick back, while you relax
Lets engage that, then create
that, what a wild life
just a shy girl with all the right vibes
can’t replace that

Pull up come kick back, while you relax
We can unpack, then create that
I have a sweet tooth, you’re a sweet snack
Babe it can be us,
make good flashbacks
Jan 12 · 180
Reckless
xavier thomas Jan 12
Just talk to me nice now, baby,
ohhhhh

Take me to the edge , connection til the end

Got me thinking this life is truly worth livin’

In my feelings like, oh my, time is really on our side

Baby, I can not breathe,
without your love next to me,
ohhh
Baby, I can not breathe.
Definitely no, ohhh

I’m just reckless like you are
I’m just reckless like you are


Hmm, make me love again,
just

You made feel love again, oh

Your actions deeply talk
as
you communicate your thoughts
ohh

You’re the only one I desire towards, darling, mmm
I desire to pleasure your every need, babe
Place your love all on my faith
Let me mend your heart, my darling

Everything I’ve done, you’ve done, it shows
Goal is to make you feel right at home
There’s no need to ever feel alone
Now let’s  grow together in this brand new home, baby

You won’t feel alone, won’t just feel alone, baby, oh

I won’t make you feel alone, won’t make you feel alone, lady
Make you feel at home, baby

You’re the only one , you know
You’re the only one , you know
Oct 2023 · 134
Today
xavier thomas Oct 2023
New day, my worries fade away
I feel your happiness
Times brought in a new companion
Friendship settle in
New day, feels so good, I pray
How fast the old days fade away.

New days, less mistakes
Blessings came upon yourself
Times changed, love has came
No confusion settled in, mmm

New days, I rise
Let the new journey begin
new day

“Cold world is getting hard to breathe
Hours change, it’s getting hard to see
Yet, your light helps me see
Lord, I thank thee”

New days, I avoid old mistakes
Sometimes it’s complicated during
urging times I start to feel less sane
So I write down your advice
that reminds me of
those down falls, a reminder of numbness

Then I ease my mind
by calling your name because I
don’t feel like I’m by myself.
Oh, oh, my
New days, I by myself
hoping I make you proud
crying out
Mmm, yeah, tearing up

Better behavior
So I pray for the new greater days
Constant laughter
So I pray for the new greater days
Different expectations
So I pray for the new greater days
And I pray new days continue day after day
Oct 2023 · 352
Mention
xavier thomas Oct 2023
I’m having a moment
As you were revealed
Cause you are a Queen that
should have not been labeled
A fantasy, that’s real
My heart kept on beating, babe
Soul dancing inside
You made me feel good, then feel blessed, & feel life
Is this Paradise?

Crazy how I realized
The cutie pie of all the pies
If you don’t know then I’ll sing it
So, no need to wonder
Crazy how I realized
The cutie pie of all the pies
If you don’t know then I’ll sing it
So, no need to wonder

Let me ask how long
How long it’s gonna take for you to believe me baby?
Cause I unseen you in my life
Journey right by my side

You’re so appealing
Appealing in my life

It’s, crazy how I realized
The cutie pie of all the pies
If you don’t know then I’ll sing it
So, no need to wonder
Wonder

Crazy how I realized
The cutie pie of all the pies
If you don’t know then I’ll sing it
So, no need to wonder

Crazy how I realized
The cutie pie of all the pies
If you don’t know then I’ll sing it
So, no need to wonder
no need to wonder

no need to wonder
no need to wonder
no need to wonder
no need to wonder

no need to wonder
no need to wonder
no need to wonder
no need to wonder
Oct 2023 · 435
Life will be
xavier thomas Oct 2023
Patiently, waiting
for the day
you ask me
how I feel about you
Instead of
you telling me
what you think,
what I may think,
about you
Sep 2023 · 72
Until the end
xavier thomas Sep 2023
Dear father,
For once in my life,
I finally have someone who depends on me.

I asked for this blessing many times…
So, show me how to keep it.
Sep 2023 · 154
I guess…
xavier thomas Sep 2023
when I first met you,
I thought life.
when your smile came,
quantity and quality balance
when we proceeded that kiss,
there was belief.
when intimacy came & finished,
it was partner & commitment.
when that ring was given,
intentions form a priority bond.

Just mine.

So now that you know how I feel.
When do you want me to come home?
Dear Love,
my sunshine that wakes me up early every morning
to let me know
a new day has come.
my hope,
in one day,
a graceful opportunity comes for us
to move towards
blessings upon blessings
from the most high
that protects us.  
my treasure
I found
one man once lost
with low morals
blinded in the naked eyes through sorrow values.
Sep 2023 · 595
War Mouth
xavier thomas Sep 2023
Sabotaging your own relationship speaking nonexistent problems
that becomes problems later on

Shame on you
You became a whole
brand of
selfish deeds
Sep 2023 · 102
Heavenly Deposits
xavier thomas Sep 2023
Hey,
Dear Father-
Thank you for waking me up this last morning.
Apologies for the delays, times been hard to
void some distractions, dear father.
Not enough time to gather these thoughts, however,
this day, I have to

Dear family- Just missing ya.
Saw the new addition,
it’s another little baby.
Congratulations.
Pray this one will succeed through their dreams with no complications.
I think it’s a blessing.
The way you all raise your kids,
new gen, from ignorance
hateful people who were hatin’.
Toxic traits wanting us to fail & fall off
from the village tree we created.
But before it was my time to leave,
I memorized the past for myself.
Flashing moments or two rewinding
between the fun & hectic scenes of life building & laugher.
Too much for one’s mind…
It’s been a-lot going on…
You can read the hidden messages in all of my poems.

Life was doing me wrong…
Humans were doing me wrong…
Final days, life & death, was knocking right at my door.
Wrote letters to encourage others to hold on strong.
Be thankful for the man above, his life, his voice & gift of passionate songs.

Jude 1:20-21 brought out those tears,
Having me grateful each time I read it.
Cause I kept crying
off so much when I accepted God kids.
And I don’t know what it is.
But along the way , I became sensitive
beyond than I imagine.
But never mind that, I’m fine, I’m sending this message with kisses & hugs
In hope you all smile.
Live a better life as I protect you from above.
Less you hurt
The deeper you love
More you show
the full is your cup.
Picture an organic hug
releasing all of the pressure or problems occurring in one’s mind
Sending love waves of energy.

Please hold each other down
Y’all carry the crowns
You ever need me, just pray & I’ll request from above to be present & show up
Until then, I’ll rest in power
I’m gone
Talk to me & I’ll show you my love
Jul 2023 · 451
Self reflection
xavier thomas Jul 2023
In simple terms:
I do not want you if God didn’t send you
Jul 2023 · 281
Your Liege
xavier thomas Jul 2023
Is a broken king any better than a mad one ?

Is a depressed queen tolerable than a deceitful one?
Jul 2023 · 636
Gym Rat
xavier thomas Jul 2023
Are we here dedicated to the grind & gains?
Or
Are we here dedicated to the pics & liked views?
xavier thomas Jul 2023
You’re first, not last, simply everything
And the peace to all of my dreams
You’re my light, my boo, my North Star
You’re so desirable, that’s how you are.

I know it’s only, only one like you
There’s no copy that could ever replace you
Love, you’re what I’ve been waiting on
Keep your heart lifted forevermore
You’re first, not the last, simply everything

From you, I’ve learned so many things
A partner so wise, knowledge you bring
A joy so new it’s carries a pursuit of happiness this way.
You’re voice sings to me every brand new day

I crave your ways that I
Will stay by your side till I die
This is my reality, however, can’t believe it’s not a dream
You’re first, not last, simply everything

I know it’s only, only one like you
There’s no copy that could ever replace you
Love, it’s a real reality
But feels like a deep dream
You’re first, not the last, just simply everything
Jun 2023 · 498
Thank you✌🏾
xavier thomas Jun 2023
For pushing me away
Cause I found someone who’s prepared to stay
Can’t save you
Jun 2023 · 251
Let’s cruise tonight.
xavier thomas Jun 2023
☁️…
“Lol I’ll take you with me
some time
and we’ll watch airplanes
land/fly away
when the sun sleeps
into the night..
I’ll pick you up @8pm
as traffic dies down.”
Jun 2023 · 2.3k
Your Queen/King
xavier thomas Jun 2023
Him:
Your love my Queen
Brightens my day and thoughts
Your love my Queen
Never breaks my heart
Your kisses sing
Time and time and time and
again
Grabbing the deepest parts of me
Bringing out the best in me
Opening the deep desires in me
I’m crying out for more

Her:
Your love my King
Brightens my day and thoughts
Your love my King
I’ll follow you, trust my heart
Your kisses sing
Time and time and time and
again
Grabbing the deepest parts of me
Bringing out the best in me
I’m crying out for more
Your love my King

Just look at us
Just look
Give it all a chance
Soul ties

Him:
Your love my Queen
Brightens my day and thoughts
Your love my Queen
Never breaks my heart
Your kisses sing
Time and time and time and
again
Grabbing the deepest parts of me
Bringing out the best in me
Opening the deep desires in me
I’m crying out for more

Her:
Grabbing the deepest parts of me
Bringing out the best in me
I’m crying out for more
Your love my King

Him:
This is no blind debate
We are a good team
This is no blind debate
We are, we are fully healed

Her:*
Come brighten my day and thoughts
Never break my heart
Mmm, grab me
Just look
Gimme a chance
Writing a love story together
Jun 2023 · 868
Just miss you
xavier thomas Jun 2023
How many more overnights
will there be of replays
playing memories, at 5am
knowing **** well I have
work in the morning?
Love disease
Jun 2023 · 230
Default Triggers
xavier thomas Jun 2023
Sometimes
Idk how to tell you how I’m feeling
Because I’m so use to
Giving the default response
-“ I’m doing good & you?”
Your words, not my actions
Jun 2023 · 415
Oh wow 🫢
xavier thomas Jun 2023
That’s crazy
to know your intentions are
waiting on the decision(s)
I make- to hopefully fail,
just so you can say -
“I told you so!”
Jun 2023 · 548
Keep it pushing
xavier thomas Jun 2023
My Boy just went through his girl phone & owweeeee he went from standing up to sitting on the floor….

I’ll see you at the gym my boy ✌🏾
Jun 2023 · 681
Exercise
xavier thomas Jun 2023
Promise I would learn to respect myself
Sometimes I feel I failed myself
Where we’re going? I’m not sure
Hope love just lies ahead

Life is changing , yet we’re still here
Spoke life into these words
And the path feels unclear
You taught me & the children, “Believe in faith”
I feel closer, but not close enough

Can you show me the way please ?
Can you show me how to grow?
Can you show me how to grow?
Oh, I’m trying to reach the door

Can you show me the way please ?
Can you show me how to grow?
Give me a sign I’m getting closer to you
Oh, I’m trying to reach the door

I wrote those covenants to myself to not break those promises
Mostly for you, few for me
To learn how to love you peacefully
I wrote those covenants to myself to not break those promises
Mostly for you, few for me
To learn how to love you peacefully

Stay so close to you
Don’t want to disappoint you
Stay so close to you
Don’t want to disappoint you

Stay so close to you
Don’t want to disappoint you
Stay so close to you
Don’t want to disappoint you
May 2023 · 630
Greatest Peace Boo
xavier thomas May 2023
If I want you, if I want you now
Will you give me, will you give me the chance?
If I want you, If I want you to show love
Will you give me the greatest version of you?

You give away, you give away the greatest peace boo
You give away, you’re giving the greatest peace boo
So good to me

Listen to the rainstorm and it never felt so calm before
Listen to the rainstorm smooth as you
Listen to the rainstorm and you’ve never felt so good before
Give away something that’s peaceful boo

You give away the greatest peace boo
That’s why I’m choosing you
You give away the greatest peace boo
So good to me

I enjoy every moment of you
So wash me in your rain
Anything you want me to do
Just don’t let me wash away

Listen to the rainstorm and you’ve never felt so calm before
Listen to the rainstorm, you’re so smooth
Listen to the rainstorm and I’ve never felt so good before
Give away something that’s peaceful boo

You give the greatest peace boo
It’s why I have to choose you
You give away, just giving the greatest peace boo
So so so good to me

You have a valuable heart
Every time, I know you’re way too good for me
Every morning is forgiveness,
every night you have me reminisce
Will you give me the chance?
Will you give me, will you give me
The greatest version of you?
May 2023 · 549
Hurt identity
xavier thomas May 2023
Internally I blame self-consciously self-inflict imaginary damage to lower my bright soul into a box
externally unconsciously making
my body sick
blaming other elements
around me
as seasons change
When I think about it,
I replay your words
I shouldn’t have to answer to
knowing truthfully I did nothing wrong to make you think I’m untrustworthy or that I’m a threat.
But because guilt exist,
It causes me to think I actually did you wrong.
May 2023 · 784
Where I’ve been… (Pt.2)
xavier thomas May 2023
She wanna know my routine
And if my story’s clean
She wanna know what I’m doin’
And if I cheat
She says it’s all intentional
It’s killing me
I care about her heart & soul
But she’s not for me

You know we do a lot of back & forth
You know the moments been high, then really low
I unknowingly been guilt tripping myself
You know you accuse me fast like a pro
You know you have lack of trust in me
You know you treat me cold and that’s really cold
Those DMs, you were choosing me
You know at a time you were my Queen

You know you my brown sugar sweet maple
Know when I chose you, I admire your taste that’s natural
Know starting over isn’t the plan I want with someone else though
You were my type that I wanted to come home to

I gave you more hoping to see you at peace
I believe in your promise for many reasons
It’s hard to love a woman when you’re on the defense
Being reminded is one of many reasons why I’m leaving
May 2023 · 692
Where I’ve been…
xavier thomas May 2023
She wanna know my routine
And if my story’s clean
She wanna know what I’m doin’
And if I cheat
She says it’s all intentional
It’s killing me
I care about her heart & soul
But she’s not for me

You know we do a lot of back & forth
You know the moments been high, then really low
I unknowingly been guilt tripping myself
You know you accuse me fast like a pro
You know you have lack of trust in me
You know you treat me cold and that’s really cold
Those DMs, you were choosing me
You know at a time you were my Queen

I wanna ask you somethin, ask you somethin before I go.
What’s with the double-standards being in your favor for?
Anything said or done is a problem, it’s hysterical
And the more I think about it, it’s just getting old
I walked away quietly , thought we could build some trust
Since we’re separated , I won’t hit you up
We can find some peace from each other with no rush
Maybe someday time can change the
narrative between us
Apr 2023 · 435
Growing Fruit
xavier thomas Apr 2023
Listen
This show is formalistic
Stones cleansing your soul, stepping away from you now
Cause you’re growing apart

Friction
Between us burning peace into pieces
You have issues that needs attention for now
Cause I’m growing apart

Grown living miles away
Growth unfolds in how we pray
Growing up from our old ways
There’s no one to blame, no
No

Grown living miles away
Growth unfolds in how we pray
Growing up from our old ways
There’s no one to blame, no
No

Tension
Trust no longer comes into existence
We should rule out priorities right now
Cause it’s growing apart

Leavin’
Mistaken my intentions with threaten
This relationship is way too defensive so now
We’re just falling apart

Grown living miles away
Growth unfolds in how we pray
Growing up from our old ways
There’s no one to blame, no
No

Grown living miles away
Growth unfolds in how we pray
Growing up from our old ways
There’s no one to blame, no
No
Apr 2023 · 268
Peace- Piece?
xavier thomas Apr 2023
Is it peace
or a piece
that you desire from me?
Peace- loving grace from me
Piece- taking my light from me
Apr 2023 · 1.7k
Forgive me
xavier thomas Apr 2023
Future Wife-

~forgive me. forgive for
not waiting on you like I was supposed to during ***.
I allowed my hormones & flesh
give the best of what
truly belongs to only you, to them.

forgive me- I was
still developing
into a new man
from a damage soul
under numerous baggage,
carrying their faults into mine.

forgive me- cause it’s about **** time
you came my way
after all these years
just waiting. ~
Mar 2023 · 714
Soul is Tied
xavier thomas Mar 2023
There must have been an angel close near by
Something heavenly brought you to me
You must carry life
It’s the journey of love

There must have been an angel close near by
Something heavenly brought you to me
Angel let me see you
Angel let me see you

Angel guide you to my heart
Come my way…
How much joy of life inside?
A lot to say…

When you were led to me
You knew I was the one for you
I swear the heavens will see your soul’s complete
My eyes all on you
Ah-yeah-yeah-yeah-ah, mmm, mmm
I’ll project you in the journey of life

I give you this brand new life
Soul is tied
I give you this brand new life
Soul is tied

It is clear
From the start!
See the journey is filled with love
See this journey is full with love

Angel guide you to my heart
So, come my way…
How much joy of life inside?
A lot to say…

I give you this brand new life
Soul is tied
I give you this brand new life
Soul is tied
I give you this brand new life
Soul is tied
I give you this brand new life
Soul is tied

I give you this brand new life
Soul is tied
I give you this brand new life
Soul is tied

I’ll protect you in this journey called love
Every life time, babe
It must have been an Angel close near by
From above
Bringing you love
Bringing you love

I give you this brand new life
Soul is tied
Mar 2023 · 741
No disturbance (intro)
xavier thomas Mar 2023
Yeah, shining though
Jealous, but have history with me smiling though
Gave anything you need, yet spit on my name though
Gave myself some space, I know the lies you told
Used to be there for you at your highest lows
Used to come over just to watch episodes on HBO
Now it’s just silent, the convo’s are more personal
Drink all the energy vs. pour life for growth
No longer will I be your shoulder to cry on
All the love given from you was just for show
All the love became false, this not my first rodeo
Mar 2023 · 608
No disturbance (pt.2)
xavier thomas Mar 2023
Navigate through life, hoping the transition flows
Don’t know where I’ll end up as I grow old
Maybe the quicker I grow old, God will call me home
Last time I thought like this I was home alone
Asking the Lord to take me home, feeling unknown
Thinking people would like me better on my tomb stone
But I’ve grown, just not on my own, God set the tone
Mar 2023 · 445
No disturbance (pt.3)
xavier thomas Mar 2023
Yeah,
Avoiding a lot of poisonous views
Use to allow boundaries to cross paths in a painful bruise
Saw a side of myself that grew in mental abuse
Mind could’ve dispatch if I lose, but I never do
So I pray & hobby daily like it’s double shift
Reject any wicked ***** wealth swallowed, venomous slips
More blessings to come very soon for being genuine
Woke up to conquer another day, victory is mine to win
Mar 2023 · 451
No disturbance (pt.4)
xavier thomas Mar 2023
Remember the fun days with no money in our wallets?
Finding ways to hustle & stretch money to buy drinks like we’re alcoholics
nowadays we’re living luxury, smiling and laughing about it
Funny how that year changed us together, every time we talk about it
Memory flash, when I close my eyes at night
Waking up to a bright sun to a new day at life
Trying to remember that good dream before those flashing lights
Rest assured, my bond for you is right
Get no rest days, work 80 hours in 6 days
Never settle for temporary short-change
Improved to upgrade, therapy session really had me locked in
Time flies like a man in his dream sleepwalking
Went from Club “Lit” Saturday nights, to club “Life”
Club “Life” to creating a club at home with family and kids
My priority change when I decided to pursue this
Intentions will come at you at the highest expense
Especially actions that represent the real me
And frame a reflection, in the mirror, to really get a good look at me
Whatever helps cut down my image flaws to bloom a better me
No one knows my flesh that harm me, trying to build a lesser me
But God’s love armored me successfully
Mar 2023 · 450
No disturbance (pt.5)
xavier thomas Mar 2023
Up 5am with urgency, sticky note on the mirror reminding me
“Be good to people, be good to yourself organically”
Aiming to let go of the past that has burden me
Focus only towards today vs tomorrow and tread carefully
Another chance to shine, in hope my enemies take it personally
I take it to heart, demonstrates the desire to succeed fearlessly
The vision board written for God will create wonders for me
My legacy will leave a legacy, a generational love
A blood line of chosen angel warriors build ready to serve throughout eternity
A fearful reflection for my enemies who develop insecurities
Behind closed doors, falling short in hatred worshiping
Don’t need to worry, cause their views doesn’t concern me
The faithful ones will learn how to strive for peace through me
As I continue to strengthen my obedience in discipline maturely
Living everyday as my last under purpose with authority  
My ambition is centered around competition & collective security
Take some time off to focus more on recovery
I hope someday the grind retires me & the reward humbles me
By the end of 2023 I’ll give you a full summary
Feb 2023 · 269
As you are
xavier thomas Feb 2023
You don’t feel loved cause
YOU DON’T FEEL LOVE
Feb 2023 · 854
Imagine that
xavier thomas Feb 2023
It hurts to know I was the last image you saw before you found your soulmate
Feb 2023 · 897
Not desperate tears
xavier thomas Feb 2023
I’m not afraid to lose you in the process of us becoming better people.
I’m not afraid to tell you the truth even if it hurts a little.
I’m not afraid to compromise time in exchange for peace.
I’m not afraid being vulnerable, though, I’m automatically viewed as weak.

All past doors were sealed.
So nothing will interfere.
Work to take proper care to be in the presence of a new journey.
So natural growth can bloom there.
Right before we got together.

Yet, I catch myself overthinking during crucial conversations because I don’t want to mess up.
Learning to give room for human error.
Despite it all; I am still in love with you…

You, my love, You
Feb 2023 · 626
Therapy
xavier thomas Feb 2023
Me: "I'm going to acknowledge you, first."
Her: "I'm going to trust you, more."
Jan 2023 · 82
S.T.F.U.
xavier thomas Jan 2023
Stop throwing imaginary labels on to my character when you only encountered one moment of my existence
Jan 2023 · 732
Didn’t love mine
xavier thomas Jan 2023
You wasn’t appreciative enough.
So now, you’re back trying to create
a new spark under the same burnt stick
you blew out already.
We are not ignited anymore .
Dec 2022 · 1.0k
No baggage today
xavier thomas Dec 2022
I’ll lead the way just follow my move
I’ll provide you with care
You called me to rescue you
Hold on to that prayer

Just be all mine…
Just be all mine…

Follow me straight to the heavens…

No more baggage, ok?
Don’t carry that weight
You’re afraid it’s ok
No more drama nor running
I’ll lead the way just follow my move
Provided with care

I’ll show you how deep this love will be…

I’ll lead the way, follow me
I’ll provide you care
You called to rescue you
Just hold that prayer

No baggage, ok?
Don’t carry that weight
You’re afraid it’s ok
No more drama nor running, uh

No baggage, ok
Carry no weight
Afraid, it’s ok
No running away

I’ll show you how deep love will be…
I’ll show you how deep love will be…
Hold that prayer

No baggage, ok
Carry no weight
You’re afraid it’s ok
No drama today
Don’t cry

No baggage, ok
Carrying the weight

No baggage today
No baggage today
No baggage today
No baggage today
No baggage today
~Inspired by one of my favorite 1992 singers~
Sade
Dec 2022 · 92
dedication
xavier thomas Dec 2022
When I was younger (early 20s)
I had to wait on a lot of things & develop a foundation. It ******.
Now that I’m almost 30, I go right after what I want with no hesitation.
Dec 2022 · 747
It’s not my job
xavier thomas Dec 2022
It’s not my job to clean up your past issues.
That’s yours.
I cleaned my side of the mess already.
Do your part now.
Dec 2022 · 452
Re-runs
xavier thomas Dec 2022
How many more replicas will you continue to see,
In your lifetime,
Before you finally receive the original soulmate?
xavier thomas Dec 2022
In bed I look at you
Wonder how you’re mine
Unrivaled magnificence
Support you always provide

I always feel at home cause
You’re soft like winter when the snow falls down
Gentle like the warmth, your
touch excites me it electrify, the
love gives me life.
Press upon my skin, your
cuddles brings me hope, love
you from the outside-in

Dear love you have
always been gracious
addictive bad habit of my love
fire and desire  
in every way you are.
And all night I want to show you
and all night I’ll give you more
fire & desire
in every way you are.
xavier thomas Sep 2022
~My Mind

You don’t know…
The hours I’ve spent staying up at night on my vision board planning, writing, dreaming, listening to music to calm my thoughts.
Mind racing the course on if I’m going to die alone today with no one next to me.
Causing imaginary problems that never existed.
I don’t want that for you.

But when I snap back into reality
I see through your eyes, bright blue flames that burns in desire of need to be successful.
Those same fiery eyes I once had at your age
lets me know you can withstand any challenge that comes your way.
Because you, my child, are apart of me.
Who am I to place sheltered fears when it’s obvious you’re ready to start your foundation.

So when I snap back into reality

~“My beloved child, I want you to be better than me & how I lived.”
xavier thomas Sep 2022
~My Mind

You don’t know
The pain I’ve experienced in multiple failed relationships that I’ve ran from
just to reroute back into a new host.
A recycling mindset thinking I found the one once again.
A mentality to give up quickly when problems arise vs have patience towards my lover point of view.
or or or  simply think they won’t hurt me for the last time.
Contemplate percentages on how much emotion I should show.
Do you really want to go through this because I don’t think you do kid!?
xavier thomas Sep 2022
~My Mind

You don’t know…
The trauma I’ve fought daily within myself to do the right thing-
because my own flesh wanted to do what it wanted to do & not God’s way.
Trying to still be low-key “perfect” in an imperfect world, yet feels perfect world.
Saying “I got it I got it” when I’ve never had it until faith took me faithfully that day because I was lucky.
Not realizing the weapon that prospered against me, was me.
xavier thomas Sep 2022
~My Mind

You don’t know.
Having to constantly prove my worth to those I adore.
Seeking validation for my hard work, ideas, my worth
just for them to say meaningless words
in criticism at my dreams
or spit perceptions upon my feet in foul laughter,
All just for approval…
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