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Cassidy Jackson Feb 2017
the meaning of beauty are
bones without skin
it repeats in my mind for hours
I know not what I am
But I sure as hell am scared
Sometimes I catch a glimpse
and wish I had not dared.

I haven't been myself I mumbled,
it's been a short 4 years.
Yet everyday I am humbled!
to be honest with my fears!

Surviving off my self loathing
are the devilish voices that I feed.  
Watering my mind's garden is refreshing
and THAT'S the energy that I need!
This piece has a very surprisingly optimistic point of view by the end of it.
edited.
I am so tired of feeling this sick
Of knowing that every beautiful taste
will have to be thrown up
Of searching for the sweetness
knowing the peril that will follow
I am tired of feeling empty
Of emptiness than can only be filled temporarily
I am tired of feeling this sick
And so it may be time to starve
So that at least there will be
Nothing left to lose
Nobody Feb 2018
They act like foolish mice lost in a maze,
with heart eyes, who only admire and send praise;
so blown away, and stuck in a dumb daze.
It’s amusing they excuse your wicked ways,
and you can gladly starve them all for days;
while smiling madly, not even fazed.
They’re dim and dull, you need entertained.
You can’t help it, you think, but don’t dare say,
to sustain your pointless little games;
that you can’t ever seem to abstain.
It’s the higher ground you need to gain.
So lure them in enduring your demented cage.
Provoke their wrath and force them to cave,
spread your foul poison to their every vein.
There’s no denying they’re enslaved,
locked tight in your chains.
Becca Lansman Jul 2018
My body and mind are at war
two beings occupying the same skin

the diverged desire firing bullets into the heart
creating a cacophony of chaos within me

One--
******* the jar of peanut butter
hidden by the blanket of dark sky
hugging the fridge like a newborn
caressing the chocolate bar wrapper

Two--
crouched over
crying in the shower
pinching my skin until bright pink, hot
with anger

trying to resurrect myself into someone more holy
trying to starve
out the monster within

only to find myself back on the bathroom tile singing gospel songs into the toilet bowl.

a cyclical strom
that will not stop raging

like a perverted lover
always, somehow
dragging you back home.
Lizzy Jul 2014
This pink mass of mist
it glows when we touch
my waking has surrendered
it belongs to you
but the boulder
this crippling weight still sits

misty fog can't fly
can't float
never could
that rocky weight
it finally caught a cloud
and pinned it down

i didn't mean to show you
i never wanted you to see this
this amazingly heavy burden I carry
please don't let it catch your cloud

maybe I too often feel like a burden
only because I have lived as one
and this fear of being what I am
it adds ounces every day

maybe that's what I've been trying to get rid of
not my earthly weight
but the one that caught my cloud
Is that the one I've been trying to starve out?
This probably makes no sense unless you live in my brain
Dawnstar Aug 2018
Down in the valley of the fleeting stream
Parched Sudanese tongues crying to you
Below, below, the sacred Nile
Pestilence took my sweetheart

She was dark, now she is blue
Like the cataracts dividing the stream
And the tearducts dividing my eyes
Below, below, the sacred Nile

Torn in our tumult
From the bleak savan'
Starve like we all her cherrious face
Now forever blemished

Therefore let us dine on hardtack
Suffer for the things of the marble world
Below, below, the sacred Nile
Where we'll go and prosper

Go receive heaven's reward
Long, long, the vaporous mile
Fast along the toiling road
To the land of reward, we go

I compared her to a flower
Fair a fragrance as ever conceived
To think her smile is a nest for ants
Below, below, the sacred Nile

Change these feelings about me!
I am eager to see her again
But I won't obey the winds
Below, below, the sacred Nile
As far as fragrance is concerned.
A song.
Armand-DeamoJC Aug 2018
To all the goodbyes
I say goodnight
To everyone that dies
I hope it's bright

To everyone;
With a razor
Hand of pills
Tied rope
Dangling keys
Extreme hight below
Finger over a light trigger
Electricity at hand
Open propane tank
Empty plate, with full glass

Stop, think about who you're leaving behind
I know my words aren't going to stop you, but just read
Did you bother to write and leave a note?
Is it worth it then?
Saying you're sorry, knowing you'll leave someone behind?
Stop. Think about why you're doing it
Do you have nobody?
Think about your opportunities that'll fly past
The chance of ever meeting someone?
Did you lose someone?
Think about if you'll actually see them again?
Being bullied?
Fight back, with whatever you have
Life shoved you down?
No, I'm not asking you to get up!
I'm telling you to get your *** into a nap
Think about all the possibilities that might not be
Think of all the opportunities and people in the future
Think of your legacy
Think of anything except the pain
Now balance the pain and everything else
Want to jump? Skyfall
Want to shoot? Paintball and games
Want to hang? Bungee
Want to overdose? Take 10% of it and party
Suffocate in propane gas, or blow up? Cook a nice meal, invite a friend or family. Surround yourself. No friends and family? Find a friend, build a family.
Want to speed wrong side of the road? Speed on the right side of the road and get carried with the wind, do it over again
Want to cut yourself? Cut off the pain and wrong influences
Electrocute yourself? Rather save electricity and watch a good movie with friends or family. Have none? Watch a movie alone, play a game online. Make friends, build a family
Want to starve yourself so you can get drunker and finally forget it all, when your liver gives in? Eat a lot more, blow off some steam at the gym and build a body that girls/guys would like, attract them and make new friends. Drink with friends.

I've tried many things, some of them didn't work out, or I couldn't stay awake longer. Create new dreams if the old ones died. Work hard for them. Achieve something
"At least leave a ******* legacy behind" is what my bestfriend, Steph used to say
"You can get out of this alive, but maybe a little ****** up, but anything damaged can be repaired" My bestfriend Josh used to say
"Life can carry you away without what you thought you needed" my bestfriend Divene used to say

Even more quotes from people I've lost in my life, so I ask you just think about it all
Still going through with it? Remember it's a one way ticket
I'm suicidal myself. Been for a long time. Just speak to me. Speak to someone. Let's fix this ****
I feel lonesome hands approaching mine
to walk me through the desert.
I tense my arms against the open night sky
which cannot be pushed away.

I want you to love my grey skies,
my pensivity that rolls across mountain ranges -
the same to me as sunshine igniting streams.
Just a different lens
through which my creature plays with light.
She is elemental
and sloughs skin off the earth like lava flowing
into the ocean to close its eyes.
I'll eat my own tail
to discover what I already know.
Tanya Feb 6
what will you do when your man nature calls upon?
when your eyes get hungry for a female bone
when you starve and crave the flesh
of gentle hands
will you eat another girl
because I’m far away?

will you dance between her hips
the same way you danced between mine?
what about her hair? ,
will run your fingers wild?

will you bite off her lips, then rip her skin apart,
with the same mouth, you said you loved me?
will you blind my eyes
with pretty lies, once again,
honey?

or

will you be a man, loyal to his word?
starve your hormones and desires
‘till I save you from the thirst,
will you not throw away the promises
You gave, when you see her, stripping her body naked,
offering food to your hungry eyes?

will you eat her,  will you starve?
14.01.19
Samantha Nguyen Aug 2018
“for our political leaders,
may they resolve their differences
that plague our planet,” the speaker says.
(“lord hear our prayer,” everyone but me says.)
i look up at the priest.
he sits at the altar with his eyes closed.
is this so he can’t see my shaking hands.
does he think he can hide my pain.
“for those who have died,
may they find peace in heaven
with our lord god and jesus christ.”
(“lord hear our prayer,” is what i don’t say.)
they think they can hide my pain,
thinking things will get better.
but that doesn’t mean the pain is gone.
it’s just that no one can see it.
they never will.
“for those who starve for love
and have hunger for another soul,
may they no longer be lonely.”
(and i finally say, “lord hear our prayer.”)
i miss the taste of your lips
and feeling your arms around me.
but i will always be hungry and lonely.
my only companion will be loneliness.
it’s all my fault.
i made a million promises and mistakes.
but those broken promises and mistakes
is what makes up me now.
you gave to me and i can’t give back.
lord hear my prayer.
amen.
Brooke Davis Sep 2016
S • Skin tight, skeletal cage
both ribs and mind.

K • Keep a strict diet, never break it, always hide it from those who would disapprove, so I learned to suffered in silence.

I • Internally a growl would emit, I reveled in the power I would get from it. To know I was structured, I wasnt a jumbled mess. Like the mass jiggling, clingling to this withering carcass.

N • Never could the fat girl come back out. carve her, choke her, starve her till she lost the will to shout. Shout for help, shout for freedom, shout for love in this life. Useless, everybody knows only fit people have that right.

N • Nobody would believe if I told a soul my struggle. "You are huge, big blue
whale how can someone like you have a disorder?

Y• Yell, scream "I WANT TO BE ME"
But I can't because of our society
deeming people like me are wrong,
why should my weight define wether or not I belong?

But because it does I hate myself.
I live this life with a wish to die,
all because my body is not
S•K•I•N•N•Y
Skaidrum Oct 2015
...
I've got a few visitors tonight;
they're all associated with the wolf under my eyes

I.
I've left loneliness to starve on a stone table,
while jealousy can bleed me a lake;
fear and I are equals,
on the battlefield of fate.

"Pay no mind to the rebel."
II.
Forked tongues recite wickedness; of all
the shadows gaining power as the sun was slain.
Black flames banish all that is golden,
as darkness bent my silent skeleton;
but it didn't break.

"I'm just some sin you committed...right?"
III.
A basilisk waited for me at my chambers,
it requested a lullaby, and a glass of iron wine.
Who knew poison would be my new best friend?
Who knew my company would be kept by
an oracle of silver'tongue?
Dead languages clutched my
lively secrets.

"Every wolf gets tired of the moon at some point."
IV.
And just like that;
We were splintering at your wolfsong
auburn poems at the feet of trees
waist deep in misery you sat,
head crowned in autumn's diseases.
Witnessing you tilt your head to plant a kiss
on the night's wings;

"Oh, it's ******* agony."
Watching your eyes harvest hurricanes
love sinking in tongues
of ebony sorrow.
they don't belong to me
you don't belong to me.

"I suppose I can't change the world
but I will leave it colder."

V.

And sometimes, love is just the aftermath
of a tragedy.

...
I deserve to suffer over you, Lycan.
I always have deserved it,
this is my curse.
© Copywrite Skaidrum
Ashley Jerome Oct 2018
I'm fine = I'm not fine. Please help me.
I'm just tired = I can't take this anymore.
I already ate = I starve myself.
Go away = Show me you care enough to stay.
I'm just cold = I don't want you to see my scars.
I'm better, I promise = I've never been this bad.
I'm okay = I just want to die.
I can relate so much that it is sad
I love you more
everyday,
but i just don't know
what I should say.
To make you understand,
that you're all I'd ever want.
I'd fight,
starve,
and bleed
but mind tends to haunt.
My brain
into thinking
of how
I'll never have you.
That we were never meant to be,
no matter what we've gone through.
But that is not all I see.
I feel a future
that's full
and free.
I need you
for my life to feel sound.
You're the only one
I act myself around.
My bestest friend I've had indeed!
You're the only soul i want,
and the only thing I need.
kevin hamilton Oct 2017
northern window
breaks from the inside
there will always be others
vor you to skin
and starve and overflow
with tacit permission

the ground
parts for me this time
i would rather stay awake
but my eyes are heavy
and dimming fast
dearest, let me lay
in this tidal pool of blood

i am always left alone
after last insipid words
whispered thinly
from a ring of stones
Lim Peh Aug 2018
They're saying starve the ego.
They're saying feed the soul.
But for some reason nobody's mentioned,
they are two sides of the same whole.
Elena Dec 2018
The hole is deep enough for the two of us
And yet we keep on digging!
To haul each day a heavy load
Is this the life worth living?

I hear the wailing in the distance
I feel the heavy hooves beating down
The stubborn mule never listened
And the steed chased but never found

The gift of life can give or take
Like corn in a drought mid harvest
Corn stalks can grow in numbers
Or growing hunger serves to starve us

So when the wind no longer howls
We will see the trees stop flailing
And when the eyes can see the road
We can trust the sailor sailing.
Louis Verata Dec 2018
The antelope will finally have peace
From mortal enemies
No more grass to feed the beast
The lion will starve as there
Will be nothing to eat
Critters of the dirt through litter
Will bury themselves
And plea to not breathe.

The black iguana will burn with dignity
Creatures of the sky will sing
A deadly melody
The shark will have more territory
The Sun once gave and it will take
The Moon, a theatre it will hold
Until it is told that life will be no more.

Alas, Angel of Death
The vulture flying down
Will wish that culture had changed
But it will be too late
It will do its duty
Slayed animals will be at our feet
Greed is our disease
O vulture have mercy.

In a new epoch life will sow its seed
Like it always has
No human or animal that you see
Only beasts from dreams.
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