"greif" poems
*Lydia, Lydia,
There are broken angels
beneath your skin.
Your face is stone,
and white as snow,
where the color should have been.
Your husband is by your side,
middle school passion left undead.
Your sister over your right shoulder,
smiling like the day you wed.
You don't hear Zach's talk of cereals,
but a tight smile shows on your face.
The greif streaked grime of tears and salt
rims your neck like wedding lace.
Tomorrow you will rise
and pour milk into your bowl.
Look across the table,
just to feel your crushing soul.
To not see the eyes
that were there for twenty years.
To share no more secrets,
or confide her sisterly fears.
You both spent your life devoted
to three hundred sixty-five words
of repiticious hope.
Only to wake up with the flipping of a page,
to find a car bent in ash and smoke.
This hollow eyed shell I saw in the store
clenched her teeth up tight,
to suffer along like the people of The Book,
and hold Faith to Father of Light.
You made me shed tears for you,
Madison,
because you made me come to see
I would never leave my little sister
By any of my own means.
I felt cheated for you,
so joyous in your Word.
To spread the light of God
to every part of Earth.
But now you are away,
taking flight,
still this young.
I go home with knotted throat,
and my eyes felling as if theyd been stung.
I've been thinking of you both,
Sisters,
by blood and faith.
I'm so sorry for your loss,
the unknowing,
all the rage.
I weep for you, dear Madison.
You lived only in a blink.
But I weep for you still more, Lydia.
And I pray that you won't sink.*
Jun 30, 2014
Jun 30, 2014 at 10:02 PM UTC
keep me in mind
when I am hidden.
when I keep myself away,
from the burning light of day.
It's burnt away my nerves,
I can't feel a thing.
Numb to the world,
but feeling in the cold.
I've said it a thousand times,
I'll say it a thousand more.
I'm not the type to laugh,
I'll always shut the door.
So the cold is where I stay,
I can't sleep when it's warm.
I feel myself on fire,
always starting a new war.
Oh sunshine,
please die.
stop mocking my frostbite,
stop torching all desire.
Why won't you listen?
have you no ears?
I've been this way since birth,
I'll be this way for years.
I told you I'm not human.
I'm not the way I should be.
the tundra behind my bedroom door,
it's swallowed me.
Please don't forget about me.
I'm dying to leave.
I'm dying for someone to reach out,
instead I'm dying from greif.
Let's build a fire,
not the kind that kills.
But to melt the ice,
that's been holding me against my will.
Rather, just let me burn.
I'll turn to dust,
I'll drift away,
It's all a deadly lust.
Don't let me run,
tie me tight.
I need the fire,
but I think I might die.
Apr 29, 2015
Apr 29, 2015 at 8:07 PM UTC
your beard doth have
a villainous nature I think
one that would for want of mischief
whisper uncertainties
into a grieving ear
as such would cause
a flailing of tongues
and extract dire extremities
from a grief stricken father
who through an acid mist of tears
would summon a pale horse
to seek a blank claim for revenge
that would magnify
existing greif a thousand fold
such is the nature of your
villainous beard
begone I say from
this house of sorrow
or it shall be you
who in a box shall lay
without grief to borrow
you villainous beard
begone I say
Jul 7, 2014
Jul 7, 2014 at 12:28 PM UTC
Nice to know your life is great as you throw me to the side.
Youve taken down all my pictures like I'm something to hide.
Nothing I ever do is good enough for you.
Now I sit here emotionless unsure what to do.
Bad enough I don't have one parent but now your both gone?
What did I do that was so ******* wrong?
Is it because your new husband doesn't like the way I am?
Is that why all of a sudden you don't give a ****
Am I no longer good enough to be your kid?
Sorry but being me isn't something you can forbid.
Ill keep to my loud music and my dark clothing taste.
Ill pretend everythings fine while behind my back you whisper to everyone I'm a disgrace.
Disgrace of a human.
Dropped out of school so I'm also a disgrace as a student.
Failure to stay locked up in my room wasting away.
Failure to hold my tongue instead I say what I have to say.
Failure to a trophy mother.
All because I wasn't your perfect trophy daughter
These words keep echoing in my head!
Bouncing around for years making me wish I was dead!
I've taken care of myself my entire life.
19 years of pain, greif, and strife.
19 years all alone.
19 years and I'm still not fully grown.
19 years I've fought to survive.
19 years and I'm just starting to grow tired from how much I strive.
I'm sorry I'm not what you wanted me to be.
I'm sorry I didn't listen and just did me.
I'm not sorry for what I'm about to say.
That I'm cutting you out of my life so just go away.
Never had a mother in the first place so why does it matter?
But I won't be there when your world is about to fall around you and simply shatter.....
So don't bother to lie and say I'm wrong and your right like you always do.
Take this as me pretty much saying I Hate You...
Sep 11, 2013
Sep 11, 2013 at 3:01 PM UTC
I hate you
I can't stand you
I hope I'm never like you
You killed us
You beat us
You broke us
It took years to repair
All the damage that you caused
You never can recall
All the anger you
Displayed
While the tears ran down
Our faces
We had to learn to lie
To hide from all the pain
To keep you safe
Because you were supposed
To be our protector
You were supposed to be a father
An now matter how
Much you hurt us
We still loved you
We still took up for you
When the world turned
It's back on you
We tried our hardest
But it was never good enough
We always just a little less
Than the perfection
That you wanted
So you drowned us in a bottle
And all of your sorrow
Then we finally good see
All the greif an pain you
Caused us
We stood up to you
An you hated us
Threw us out
An we swear we would never
Be you I swore I'd never hurt
Anyone like you always seemed too.
Now that I am older
I can forgive you
But I'll never forget
The pain I saw every time
On my mother's face when
You hit her
An I'll never forget
The effect you had on me
Or the pain you afflicted on our family.
Jun 2, 2015
Jun 2, 2015 at 11:55 PM UTC
I need the sunsets,
purple and orange
and angry for having to leave.
I need the ocean,
blue and aqua
and enraged by a storm.
I need the wind,
swift and cool
and tearing trees from their roots.
I need the fire,
warm and comforting
and turning everything to ashes.
I need the land,
strong and sure,
and temperamental with its shaking.
I need the feeling,
of love and contentment
and lust and heat
and pain and strength.
Oh to want
both the anger
and the happiness,
the love
and the hate,
the softness
and the pain.
And to wish to want
naught more
than what you give me
But to always want more
than what i have.
The greif there is
in contradiction, and
the hurt there is
in not being enough.
But to want more
is to be human, and
it is in being human
that we love.
So i will take
what it is you give, and
hope and pray
i will want
naught more than you.
May 16, 2014
May 16, 2014 at 2:31 AM UTC
These lost years of loneliness and social depravity
Have left me with nothing except this written tragedy
I sat and watched as the walls of my life crumbled away
Into this contorted sensation twisting through dismay
These ceaseless rememberance sessions screaming inside
A dead fixed stare on old friends taking cyanide
These bonds have come together in such a swift motion
And, just as fast they've came to their abrubt destruction
Dispersing any tint of mutual belonging from view
Molding a sad landscape of sighs and failing virtue
Watching as the remnants of my relationships loiter
The catacombs of these stockpiled confession letters
If only I could say anything my empathy had to tell me
My skeletal pose might have perched upright in a higher degree
And I would of have grown to a more formidable size
A clear cut aspiration that I never came to realize
Until all that I held grew too big for me to carry
and left me to stumble and sleep at the cemetary
Scratching dead love songs on century old gravestones
Where the forgotten have slept for generations alone
Hoping the crude penmanship might grace a weary heart
Or help a looming ghost feel a taste of love and depart
From the fog filled graveyard parade that it dwells
A final ringing from the synapsis of the greif bells
Sparking the ruin of a memory that doesn't seem real
A fading echo of a brotherhood I wish I could still feel
Detached from a reality that lurks in a decrepit imagery
Reshaping my empty cognition through a fake neuro surgery
I've reached the point where I have no reason to find
A replacement for all these buried pictures astray in my mind
May 21, 2013
May 21, 2013 at 1:00 AM UTC
The beginning is a vicious start.
Of tears of joy and an open heart.
But we are fighting the inevitable,
As the fear of death can be incredible.
we will always be judged by our beauty
as people feel like it's their duty
to speak about us in horrible ways
do they not know that the sadness stays..
but although life can give you greif
you've got to go on with the belief
that through life you will learn from failing
and life is an ocean that you are sailing.
Sail it well as you've got one chance
live it like it's your last dance.
Aug 17, 2011
Aug 17, 2011 at 6:24 AM UTC
How can any words I sing with speak louder than the melody within your own soul?
If you hear one note think back on this,
Let you remember that in silence living is recognized.
It is a giver, teacher. Stag.
How can me words speak louder than any thought u might have?
A well of fortune, confidence and poise it mounts the plains.
If u become satisfied with your needs, even if they go unfulfilled, let it rest your nerves.
Let the quiet be your support, it's tranquility heals, it's company can be a friend thru the season of greif, winter.
If you speak with no thought, you mind is unbalanced, and the fire of your hell is fueled by the fear for solitude you hold.
Sing a song, don't just be a witness. Then smile during the pauses between melodies.
Mar 28, 2016
Mar 28, 2016 at 9:39 AM UTC
My heart mutters softly
The secrets of time
Madness and mystery
No reason or rhyme
The dawn greets me brightly
With fire in the skies
The glint of sword in hand
Reflects the world in my eyes
Fear and death lie ominous
In a vast nefarious abyss
Seeking the sinister sovereignty
Of love's fatal kiss
Crystal notes calmly cascade
Through the tragic tempest of greif
Sung by the spirit of the eagle's cry
Whispering the harmonies of belief
Jul 18, 2012
Jul 18, 2012 at 10:21 PM UTC
I think about it all the time.
I do it even when I'm not sad.
I hide it like a crime.
It's not a fashion fad.
I like the way it feels, looks, the relief
The sensation and satisfaction
But I hate the way it it brings greif
The after a the of the action
I do it all the time
Even when you take away the knife
I give no warning sign
I just don't want to lose my life
Oct 20, 2015
Oct 20, 2015 at 12:51 PM UTC
We sat huddled in the hallway,
we were muddled in the mud,
we were cuddled in the corridor,
we were flooded by the flood.
We were crying in the courtyard,
we were staring at the sky,
we were praying you were peaceful,
we were feeling you would fly.
We hoped you went to heaven,
we were children of the Lord,
we were losing faith so quickly,
our faith never was restored.
You can't believe in Jesus,
when he takes your friend away,
but you must believe that heaven
is where you friend will stay.
Or can you have it both ways?
Think she's moved up to the sky,
but the devine power that led her there,
also made her die?
My faith was never very strong,
this secured my disbelief,
there's no god watching over us
who filled our lives with greif.
Oct 7, 2011
Oct 7, 2011 at 7:14 PM UTC
I cant do it again,
I only began to feel alive,
and it was so easy to pretend,
that everything you had forgotten was,
well.. temporary.
How could i not notice that you started to forget what i had said,
that repeating my self had become a common occurrence,
I cant do it again,
feeling as though my time with you,
was a heart machine i couldn’t view,
and when you flatlined,
i would fall to my knees,
but a prayer won’t save you,
god has no mercy,
I cant do it again,
I don’t want to dress in the color,
that absorbs happiness and hides emotion,
I don’t want to be encompassed by sunshine,
but feel darkness wherever I walk,
hear about you,
but not be able to see you,
see pictures of you,
but not be able to take one of you,
I cant do it again,
not only I had a wounded heart,
you didn’t just hop off the side of the boat,
but you sunk it,
with everyone waiting on the deck,
hoping that you would come back,
we all knew you had shot a hole,
in the side of the boat,
and as the water slowly inched its way,
from the bottom of our feet,
all the way,
above our heads,
we stayed standing strong,
holding each others hands,
as silence and sadness ,
greif and worry,
flooded our minds,
but don’t worry we survived,
we remember your story ,
every day,
constantly living in your memory,
even though you couldn’t,
but i cant go through it again,
I cant go to school every day,
waiting for a call to the office,
hopping they won’t have anything important to say,
because that would mean it was all ok,
but silently hoping the day had come,
because that day all your suffering would end,
and you’d go into the white light,
see your mom and all your friends,
but if there is one thing i know for sure,
is that I can not do it again.
Dec 29, 2016
Dec 29, 2016 at 10:53 PM UTC
When will I walk here again?
On this crispy gravel that my blood has spilt upon
That with my cuts have shared their sting
When will I feel this again?
The sharp poke of golden leaves
Raked into a mountain
And fallen like a kingdom
When will I see this again?
I favored the papery tree
Peeling cream sheets of bark
When will I smell this again?
The tang of York patties
The comforting scent of cigarette smoke
It lies in my veins now
When will I see you again?
The greif and ash in the folds of your skin
Your hand clasped around a warm tupperware of tonight's leftovers
Your foggy, yellowed glasses
And the hat I never see underneath
When will I hug you again?
Feel your denim clad arms encircle my growing waist
Feel your tears on my cheeks
For now I stroke your wedding ring
And ask myself questions
Dec 21, 2012
Dec 21, 2012 at 2:23 PM UTC
I am having hard time accepting truth
No clue how to survive
World without your presence Is not a world
In which I long to be alive
No one cares the way you did
Space in heart nothing can fill
Numb myself with substances
Sorrow impossible to ****
No hope for better tomorrows
Barely make it through today
Room shrinking with each breath
Choke on each word I try to say
Pass the time getting high as I can
An attempt to avoid dwelling on greif
Temporary band-aid to cover wound
Relief always too brief
Move only when necessary
Every step exhausts my feet
When walking I slowly trudge forward
As if legs are stuck in concrete
Around others maintain composure
Can even manage to smile
Inside back of my mind pain throbs
Prowling all the while
And I bottle up tears within
My eyes never stay dry for long
For my effort is ever in vain
Failing to be stable and strong
This is more difficult than I ever imagined
Nightmare manifested in one blink
Depth of my agony cannot be captured
In range of sound or intricacies of ink
Box of memories stored in brain
Mustering courage to close
Replay past moments until my head spins
Speeding in circles train of thought goes
Is there end to the madness I feel?
Chaos warps perception into knots
Drive myself crazy examining events
Can't quite connect the dots
Feb 16, 2023
Feb 16, 2023 at 12:22 AM UTC
Beneath the Iron Gates,
A story so dark and twisted.
Never ending tunnels,
Greif hung in the air.
A black curving stony path,
Awakens every sense but sight,
Hear the air around you,
Steady pace, keep on.
Destination unknown,
But the journey,
Strangly is set.
this arbitrary determination.
Bare feet fall,
Upon the cold gems of the earth.
Guide them to the end.
That never will be reached.
What is that in the distance?
Chance of light, I believe.
But will the casted shadows grab you,
Before you make it to the end?
The Reaper stands above you,
But to someones surprise,
To you, He is invisible,
Run. From. This. Place.
Dont. Go. Beneath. The. Iron. Gates.
Mar 25, 2013
Mar 25, 2013 at 10:01 AM UTC
Some girls sell their virginity for five thousand dollars
My virginity was worth 25 dollars and a bucket of ping pong *****
I don’t see the guy much anymore, he’s very important; worth a lot more than a coffee date and a kiss on the forehead (or briefly on the mouth)
My dad knows I kiss boys. My dad knows I smoke. My dad says not to tell my mother, so I don’t. “Gauky teenage girl, smoke up, don’t tell your mother”
"Have a drink don’t, tell your mother"
"Take the car, don’t tell your mother"
He doesn’t know she’s dead. Dead to me. Dead to herself. Mourning someone with them at the same time is a weird thing. Stages of greif don’t come in tidle waves, they come in laundry fights that last 2 weeks, and sundays when we can’t get out of bed.
Its easy to romantasize parts about yourself that are untouched; that sound mundain, so they must be gold. I live in a college town. Someday I’ll be someone’s girl from indiana. I ****** a boy with sharp teeth who told me I was ******* beautiful”, but the reality about these things is that they don’t matter.
Every state has college towns (there are many other like it, but this one is mine). Being someone’s girl from indiana doesn’t count for **** what does that say about me “my girl is a geographic mystery, because no one gives a **** about that *** **** southern mess”.
And that boy, with brown hair and sharp teeth told my I was ******* beautiful, but in the moment it made me uncomfortable. I didn’t like his body, or the way he sat. I thought his passions were redundant.
So don’t fall in love with yourself
Don’t say grace
Don’t kiss on the mouth, and don’t tell your mother
Nov 25, 2013
Nov 25, 2013 at 1:35 PM UTC
The meek and mild
Have much within
To touch eternal
Neutral’s whim,
To walk in step
With time’s embrace
And court emotion’s
Unlined face.
To enter contracts
Soft and slow
Where stronger mortals
Will not go.
To savour life
In bland relief
Avoiding
Competition’s greif.
To throw the race
Before begun
And glide beneath
A duller sun.
Accept restraint’s
restricted prize
Contentment
Sealed in compromise.
Marshalg
Victoria Park Tunnel
Auckland
26 May 2010
May 25, 2010
May 25, 2010 at 11:21 PM UTC
THE CAMINO CHRONICLES
OISIN’S LAMENT
I CANNOT BEAR TO SAY FAREWELL
IF FAREWELL IS ALL THAT REMAINS TO BE SAID
THE FINAL SONG OF OUR LOVES DAY
1 CANNOT BEAR TO FOREVER HERE STAY
ALONE ADRIFT IN TIMES ETERNAL TIDE
ALONE, SO ALONE WITHOUT YOU BY MY SIDE
I CANNOT BEAR TO SAY FAREWELL
WHEN IN EVERY CANDLES FLAME I LIGHT
I SEE YOUR LAUGHING EYES YET SHINE BRIGHT
1 CANNOT BEAR TO FOREVER HERE STAY
WHEN IN EVERY TWINKLING STAR I SEE
YOUR MISCHEIFS SMILE SPARKLING AMID THE COSMIC SEA
I CANNOT BEAR TO SAY FAREWELL
FOR WITH EVERY SINGLE BREATH I TAKE
YOUR SCENT FILLS MY CHEST WITH FRESH HEARTACHE
I CANNOT BEAR TO SAY FAREWELL. .
I CANNOT BEAR . . .
SIDHE NO BAS
(SPIRIT NO DIE, WAR CRY OF THE CELTSIDHE)
SOUL ******
ALL DESIRE FLED
FROM HATE
I CUCHULAINN, MURDERER
THRICE CURSED HOUND
I SOAKED THE SOIL OF ERIN
WITH MY GREIF
I CUCHULAINN, ONCE SETENTA
PROUD WEARER OF LAURELS
FIANNA OF THE RED BRANCH
WARRIORS OF EIRIU IMMORTAL
I CUCHULAINN, ONCE GEATHA-I-MUIR
MAKER OF PEACE, HEALER OF ALL WOUNDS
COMPASSIONS SHEILD AND SWORD
AMERGHAIN-GLENNA-GLUN
I CUCHULAINN, THE THRICE ACCURSED
SON OF THE FATHER
WHO SACRIFICED HIS SON CAANAICELT
WHO SACRIFICED HIS DAUGHTER, AINE
I SLEW MY BROTHER, FERGUS-MAC-ALBA
I CUCHULAINN, THE BROTHER-KILLER
BROTHER OF THE SWORD, OF MY BLOOD
LITTLE PAIRSIDHE, TO MY HECTOR ONCE
I CUCHULAINN, THE LOST
MINION TO THE BEASTS LUST
WHO COULD NOT DIE
WHO SO WANTED TO DIE
I CUCHULAINN, OF THE ****** HAND NO MORE
FERGUS MY BROTHER FORGIVE ME
MY BEAUTIFULL BROTHER
I THANK YOU, SAORSIDHE
SAORSIDHE. . SAORSIDHE. .SAORSIDHE
(SAORSIDHE – LIT. FREE SPIRIT)
MEMORIES CANDLE
I GO
BE A MAN TODAY
THE ENEMY COME
FATHER
BROTHERS COUSINS ALL
CLANN, CHILDREN OF EIRIU
I GO
BE A SHEILD THIS NIGHT
FOR WANS WEE
FALLEN! SO MANY. .
HOLD! HOLD!
FOR LOVE OF EIRIU
HOLD! HOLD!
AIEEEE! WANS WEE
SIDHE NO BAS!
Jan 27, 2015
Jan 27, 2015 at 10:54 AM UTC
You were just one grade above me in high school.
You graduated last year.
You made big plans for your life and your future...
... But then the fateful day came fast.
The accident could not be stopped
And no one is to be blamed.
I went to your wake today.
I saw your mom, dad, brothers and sisters.
But who I remember most is your beautiful girlfriend.
You loved her to the ends of the earth,
but you left her behind.
I barley knew you, or ever talk to you
but what I do know is that
No mother should ever have to bury her own son,
It broke my heart seeing all the people you left behind.
As I walked past to view your body one last time,
I prayed
"God, I pray [His name goes here,
but I think it is most respectful not to say his name]
is safe in Heaven with you. I pray for his family. I pray that they are safe and will find hope and have faith in this time of greif"
I hugged your mom, dad, sisters, and brothers,
and your girlfriend
and told them how sorry I was..
.. but no words of mine can bring you back.
Nothing I can say or do can bring you back to us.
Life is short.
At the age of 19, you left us.
Nobody knows when their last day on Earth is,
So all I ask of whoever is reading this is,
To live life to the fullest and do not regret anything.
If tomorrow never comes,
Tell your loved ones that you love them
Apologize
Say "Thank you"
Take risks
Love life
Love your family and friends
and
Forgive your enemies
Apr 30, 2014
Apr 30, 2014 at 12:32 AM UTC
Inside arms I find comfort
Close to your rhythmic heart
Your loving embrace an escape
Welcoming pieces when I fall apart
I hear your voice telling my ears
"Keep moving forward. You can do it!"
Cradled in adoration you shower
My fear exposed bit by bit
Whirlwinds of life swirl me around
Have no oar to guide my route
Softly you set sails for my boat
So eyes will see a way out
I used to resent concern
Progressively my opinion changed
Day by day discovered it meant
Intimate bond could never be exchanged
There is no greater love than a mother's
You give more than most
I caused so many headaches, so much greif
In return my talent and beauty you'd boast
You have been there when I needed you
Offering hope; a shoulder to cry on
The lessons you taught me over the years
Will live in my character long after you're gone
Jul 6, 2018
Jul 6, 2018 at 1:10 PM UTC
All this feels unfair
Watch my life spiral down
Truth is you keep unhappiness
Hidden somewhere buried underground
The day chains you wrapped around
Reality wriggle from your grasp
The day I escape for good
Your clutches I will unclasp
Able to make own mistakes
Is power in free will?
That is taken away therefore
Cruel prophecy I must fufill
There is not a solution to be had
Not any compromise to be found
Guard the door to maturity
Stubborn minds not able to reach common ground
Get bent out of shape
Each time go a tiny bit wild
Try to talk to you like an adult
Audacity makes me behave as a child
Trapped greif you need to cause
Gave me no other way out
A moment of panic I flee
Taking worst possible route
Won't come to your senses
Strip naked all you do fear
Nothing left to lose
What the **** will you gain by keeping me here?
Feb 23, 2019
Feb 23, 2019 at 5:58 AM UTC
When dawn struck the petals of her beautiful flowerbed
Her eyes would glow
A sweet amber glow
That stopped the rapid flow
Of the cursed river of yore
That flooded my unstable floor
Her happiness stuck to the roots
And her soul blossomed with the petals
Oh I love this woman
More than every petal
Of every flower
That fell upon the flowerbed
She cherished more then life
Then as she bloomed so did a lump
A lump that grew in her ovaries
That sent pain to my heart
Took my will to be strong
And ripped it apart
There was no cure
We both were fragile in our days
So we wept with the dew that fell from the roses and the white lilies
They cried while they wilted too
As we cuddled by the cold fire
In our final hour
When trying to be strong
Was our only power
You looked me in my eyes
Searching for hope
Searching for a hope I have not found myself and said
"Don't let my garden die like me
For I am that garden
I am the dawn that sparkles on the petals
Please don't let the dawn become the darkness we are in now"
I look into her eyes as they slip on the efforts of staying up for my answer
A blank stare
That stares at nothing
But she listens all the same
"You my beautiful rose will never die"
She smiles as she falls into a deep sleep
Saying a goodbye that will not be said forever
I kiss her forehead and whisper
"I will see you in the morning"
I wake up before dawn
The trees were still sleeping
The flowers slowly dying
The moon still peeping
I bring out my rose and dig into her flowerbed
By the roses and white lillies
Then put her into the ground
She is still smiling
My wife has met peace
And I have met true love
Together will never wilt
I cover her in a mound of dirt
And wait for my wife to shine
As the sun began to be reborn
My wife was still gone
Gone like the moment when she said goodbye
I begin to curse my faith
I ask the question why
Why me
Why did she have to go
I aim my wraith to my creator
Why...
I bow my head in greif
Letting my tears fall upon a closed morning glory
That was not there before
It begins to open
I smile and say
"Good morning my love"
Nov 26, 2015
Nov 26, 2015 at 12:28 PM UTC
The tears running down my face
I don't understand
The things you do
Why you do them
What goes through your head
While all this is happening
I cant even think straight
My life now
Is me stairing at a wall
Blankly
Consumed by sadness
That you selflessly piled on to me
Oct 6, 2010
Oct 6, 2010 at 9:26 PM UTC
Being 22 to struggle each day I was down, depressed felt all alone. My boyfriend had strayed away with other things. I had to leave, id had enough of the greif. He wanted me back but I was finding my feet a week after that I was in disbelief. He told me something that he'd hidden away but it come back and caught up with him killed us both in a way. I had my dog driving home after work it was 3 years anniversary that day. Got to the door strangers every where I stand with the news that I did not want to hear. I5 years ago 25th of July I still think of him he hanged himself cause of a secret he kept he was ***** at 11 by a 19 year old man. The people that's left hearts broken angry with everything. I know he's at peace he lived in a place for 15 years broken inside had a face that smiled everyday but that evil come back would not go away embarrassed and broken. The secret he kept took my man away, never hide bad things cause your never alone if he'd maybe told me at the start he'd be here today. MISS U EVERY DAY BUT I KNOW YOU WILL BE THERE, WAITING AT THE GATE WHEN MY TIME IS UP TO MAKE UP THE YEARS, THAT WE LOST. BEN AT YOUR SIDE WAGGING HIS TAIL NEVER TO BE ALONE AGAIN. ***
Jul 12, 2015
Jul 12, 2015 at 3:48 AM UTC