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"drowing" poems
I eyed you from across the room, Tim was yak-yakking about some drop D heavy metal band he was drumming in, But I was tired of socializing, I had only come to drink, yet I was overtaken by you. I'd seen you prettier, livelier. You looked so blue decked all in red, in your worn out fuck-me-shoes. I think my mouth was still agape, when your gaze turned my way. We both were locked. Getting headsick from the smoke, waiting for the flame to catch up. You'd never seen me so unkept. I hadn't shaved in a couple months, my hair was to my shoulders, and my body was drowing in wrinkled, secondhand, early 2000s high fashion. I walked over. Leaving Tim talking about fusing dubstep with his metal **** You were working at a bank, making three bucks more than minimum. You changed your major. Your relations got too public, so you're shooting for journalism. Haha me too, or something like that, is what I said. Your smile became parasitic to my clumsy words. You said we should hang out for old time's sake. "I won't take no for an answer." "I'm too sober for this." I walked off, grabbed the flask from Tim, spent the night strolling under streetlights, and hoping to have a revelation. But all I had was a dwindling buzz, and a divine gravity pulling me away from remaking the same mistakes.
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Dec 8, 2010
Dec 8, 2010 at 12:33 PM UTC
Old Times Hitting on the Present
Dil em tang shuda azi dunya awlay che kunum Purson maikunum, ini aale now ra che kunum Naona ika thur nako da chaye janum Aftiden da chaah, maigin awlay che kunem _________________________ Heart's feeling full of this life, what to do? Asking hence, with the newbies, what to do? Dip not fully the self, hey dear you shouldn't! Drowing in the well de despair, crying what to do? c. Teeri
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Oct 2, 2017
Oct 2, 2017 at 11:52 PM UTC
'Mystic (V)'
I loved you because you were broken my soul could look at yours and see home every minute we spend together was like drowing in the ocean I would sink deeper and deeper and eventually I would choke but the darkness of the water never botherd me, I liked it maybe because you were always there with me in the morning I would look up and see the sunlight coming through my window, the lights would touch my face and every single morning when I would open my eyes the first thing I always think of is you and how much I love you I wish I could have you near me, like everyday but we both know that never was a great idea after a while we would remember how much we are a like and I would hate you for being that way, you would hate me maybe that is why you are my soulmate, why I love you Im looking for parts of myself in the people I love it gives me comfort knowing there are kids out there who are like me a little bit mad, a little bit broken, but with golden hearts and voices I always loved the idea of us being in love forever.
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May 9, 2015
May 9, 2015 at 3:38 PM UTC
soulmate.
War zone in my brain, Nothins really the same, Exepct my heart that’s same, But my brains not the same, Sufferin depresseion that I cannot tame, Losing my mind it feels like everyday, Drowing in thoughts and my hate, Gonna have to break the gate , The gate of gratification and grace , Leave my devil to the grave, But my devils immortal hes lurkin, Every corner every crack ready to break out, Sick of bein called a disappointment and a clown, Bout to rain havic on this little fuckin town, But calmdown and open ur 3rd eye and face the light, But the lights is mine, But im not mine, Im my devils, Forced to do his transactions and his deals, But its hard to open grace when ur a disgrace, A outcast from myself and life, Used to be a angel but now im fallin from grace, Fallin from grace from this race of pain and change, Hasn’t been the same since 6th grade, Alawys bullied pushed and pulled, But there so much u can pull a anchor by a rope, Before the rope breaks and the anchor stops, Like that anchor and my gratification stopped, And lost my grace, Open ur 3rd eye and face the light, But the lights is mine, But im not mine, I will never escape this race of anxiety and change…
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May 24, 2021
May 24, 2021 at 11:51 AM UTC
Changes
i dont know what to think. i dont know what to do. i love him. right? yes, i do. but no, i dont, i can't. why am i still thinking about you? yes, he makes me smile, but, when im with him, i wish it were you by my side i wish it were you looking into my eyes, not him. the things he says to me, they make my heart melt but i think its because i hear them in your voice. i picture your lips moving and i am reminded of the way you lick your lips after every few words i remeber the effect the sparks that your words had on my heart and for some reason, i just dont feel them with him the way i did with you, especially when he tells me im beautiful. He gives me the world, but for some reason, it's just not enough. I know it sounds so selfish, but in reality, all i want is to be happy. i'm not happy. i can never sleep at night. the voices in my head keep me awake, sometimes, those voices tell me to forget about you and to continue being with him those, i consider those to be nightmares. but sometimes, those voices sound like your voice and like to repeat old memories in my brain slowly, but surely, drowing me. These waters im in continue to rise. so what should i do? contiune to go through the days, pretending im happy? or should i just find a way out? oh, i forgot, there is no way out. ever. I dont want to hurt him, yet I dont want to be in pain either, I want you to be happy, Yet i want to be the one to make you smile. So, i guess i'll stay here, stuck in the mess of emotions, while the waters im in continue to rise eventually drowning me in my own thoughts, wrong doings, and my own pity. when will i be able to just breathe?
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Jan 14, 2014
Jan 14, 2014 at 11:43 AM UTC
just breathe
i dont know what to think. i dont know what to do. i love him. right? yes, i do. but no, i dont, i can't. why am i still thinking about you? yes, he makes me smile, but, when im with him, i wish it were you by my side i wish it were you looking into my eyes, not him. the things he says to me, they make my heart melt but i think its because i hear them in your voice. i picture your lips moving and i am reminded of the way you lick your lips after every few words i remeber the effect the sparks that your words had on my heart and for some reason, i just dont feel them with him the way i did with you, especially when he tells me im beautiful. He gives me the world, but for some reason, it's just not enough. I know it sounds so selfish, but in reality, all i want is to be happy. i'm not happy. i can never sleep at night. the voices in my head keep me awake, sometimes, those voices tell me to forget about you and to continue being with him those, i consider those to be nightmares. but sometimes, those voices sound like your voice and like to repeat old memories in my brain slowly, but surely, drowing me. These waters im in continue to rise. so what should i do? contiune to go through the days, pretending im happy? or should i just find a way out? oh, i forgot, there is no way out. ever. I dont want to hurt him, yet I dont want to be in pain either, I want you to be happy, Yet i want to be the one to make you smile. So, i guess i'll stay here, stuck in the mess of emotions, while the waters im in continue to rise eventually drowning me in my own thoughts, wrong doings, and my own pity. when will i be able to just breathe?
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56
It felt like floating on the river with a wrinkly skin, Akin to the corpse burying its sins deep within, Life was like a gazebo in a dilapidated garden, There will be reconstruction, if she let go off the burden. It felt like being struck right deep into the soul Suffocated and heated with a burning coal Life has been like living in hell Thinking she was already in heaven but she fell. It felt tattered and drained out, limping every step towards life, Appearing red stains and wounds by a knife, Collecting the pieces haplessly, relieving the pain, She wanted to feel the sunshine and kiss the rain. It felt like drowing in a vast ocean of depression Heart suffering from lingering oppression But her smile never fades away Getting stronger day by day.
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Jan 31, 2015
Jan 31, 2015 at 12:45 AM UTC
It Felt Stronger (Collab with bluestarfall)
i’m drowing and i can’t tell which way is up i can’t tell if i want to know which way is up i am quaking like sand and soon my mouth will froth like the shore it’s cold and it stings and there is so much saltwater filling my lungs, filling my stomach, filling every nook and cranny maybe the people of the sea didn’t lure people to their deaths perhaps they merely helped them attain it
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Mar 25, 2014
Mar 25, 2014 at 6:02 PM UTC
maybe seafolk aren't what we thought they'd be
When i look into your eyes I see the infinite galaxy. Its an Out of this world level of intimacy. Its a Place where you, I and The most High live unity. Its a place of stillness fill with serenity. Where The Our Dreams Become interwined with reality. Where Metaphysical Fantasy becomes A living valley. In this place You make my brain stimulate As the the words formulate our brain cells become awake and our thoughts began to penetrate As We serve one another an essential subtance and Truth on a plate. Raising Our engery as it Elevates. Indulging in Our frequency as it Vibrates. Staring slowly in yours eyes While we quietly meditate And the pain subsizes and evacuates Drowing the voices of the hurt that are drying as they suffocate. Feeling one anothers embodiment as we soundlessly communicate. Your bring out the beauty of this beast Everytime we conversate. Its a sensational authenticity We are wires that spark fires of Electricity. A source of Power that drives, Exuberantly Spirited and adernalized. What a blessing it is to be Revived and Alive.
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Dec 28, 2016
Dec 28, 2016 at 4:03 PM UTC
Communication
one thing i have noticed in my youthful years and jottings and observations is that people rarely band together in the times when we should when, for example, there is a delay on a plane a bus a train, we roll our eyes and groan in unison unison? really? in frustration in exhaustion and yet, when the Titanic was taking its plunge into the Ocean's merciless and deep belly brother turned on brother friend on friend drowing humans and enveloping their lives in water so that you may have a lifebelt Death once said 'i am haunted by humans' and i agree we are monsters.
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Aug 25, 2012
Aug 25, 2012 at 5:59 AM UTC
a recent observation
Powered by a thirsty rush I seek to destroy an innocent touch To tear apart the thickening rust Sharpen my razor against everlasting love Fumed with pale malice, a sickening lust I rip the flesh that harbors my trust Cringe at bleak stares as my knife thrusts Passion immolated, heaved and crushed
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Mar 21, 2010
Mar 21, 2010 at 9:12 AM UTC
Drowing in Livid Dreams
You told me, "It's over..." again. I know that, Jorge... It's been over. You know that and I know that.. And of course... You know I know that.. So who was the validation for? Let me ask and pretend I don't already know who.. Let me ask and pretend like you'll tell me the truth... The truth that I already know with every fiber of my being.. The truth you know is the truth, but will NEVER have the guts to tell me... Let me ask who has been taking your time.. & doing such a GREAT job keeping ME off your mind... & let me go ahead and pretend To believe all the lies that escape your lips then, like rain from clouds, so effortlessly... so naturally... Jorge, it's true.. ignorance IS BLISS.. So I beg you, for my own sake, let your lies fall all around me, All the while, I'll dance in them proudly and FOOLISHLY.. Because I HONESTLY believed You. Were. Mine. & please love, don't stop.. Until I'm drowing in THIS... In my last Moments - leave me.. Like you've done every time... To sink.. Like an anchor carrying the weight of the world, deeper.. and deeper.. and farther away from the surface.. Still too blind in love to even notice... That I'm the only one WHO is wasting away... all the days in my own life... But I'm still seeing visions of YOU... So I believe that I'm fine... Even though you've proven you will never BE.. here - to stay - by my side.. The ludicrous hopes in my simple mind... Absurd, are so pathetically con-vinced; It. Will. Be. Different. ... this time. It never has been. It never is. I know, I know, I know this... & yet... Despite... I still think you'll come back & save me.. Cause you wouldn't just let me die, right? Although my love - you did.. Let me die like this.. Time and time and time again... I'll gladly die this way - it's my life to spend - drowning, figuratively, a hundred, a thousand, a million more times... Until then, The beat of your heart is ENOUGH, to keep my feet above your falling words, but they rise... Dancing in my own death, So in LOVE... Ignorantly.. pretending I believe all your lies.
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Oct 20, 2018
Oct 20, 2018 at 9:23 PM UTC
Letter Turned Poem
You told me, "It's over..." again. I know that, Jorge... It's been over. You know that and I know that.. And of course... You know I know that.. So who was the validation for? Let me ask and pretend I don't already know who.. Let me ask and pretend like you'll tell me the truth... The truth that I already know with every fiber of my being.. The truth you know is the truth, but will NEVER have the guts to tell me... Let me ask who has been taking your time.. & doing such a GREAT job keeping ME off your mind... & let me go ahead and pretend To believe all the lies that escape your lips then, like rain from clouds, so effortlessly... so naturally... Jorge, it's true.. ignorance IS BLISS.. So I beg you, for my own sake, let your lies fall all around me, All the while, I'll dance in them proudly and FOOLISHLY.. Because I HONESTLY believed You. Were. Mine. & please love, don't stop.. Until I'm drowing in THIS... In my last Moments - leave me.. Like you've done every time... To sink.. Like an anchor carrying the weight of the world, deeper.. and deeper.. and farther away from the surface.. Still too blind in love to even notice... That I'm the only one WHO is wasting away... all the days in my own life... But I'm still seeing visions of YOU... So I believe that I'm fine... Even though you've proven you will never BE.. here - to stay - by my side.. The ludicrous hopes in my simple mind... Absurd, are so pathetically con-vinced; It. Will. Be. Different. ... this time. It never has been. It never is. I know, I know, I know this... & yet... Despite... I still think you'll come back & save me.. Cause you wouldn't just let me die, right? Although my love - you did.. Let me die like this.. Time and time and time again... I'll gladly die this way - it's my life to spend - drowning, figuratively, a hundred, a thousand, a million more times... Until then, The beat of your heart is ENOUGH, to keep my feet above your falling words, but they rise... Dancing in my own death, So in LOVE... Ignorantly.. pretending I believe all your lies.
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52
they sent ashes to his widow with a letter of apology told her how brave he was, for serving his country how quick a sob turned to a wail for the sweet soldier who had fell he fought and died for what he felt was right and left his lady lost in the night "I promise I won't be away for long, before you know it, I'll be home." words echoing through her ears she feels like drowing in these tears because he promised, he never lied she felt betrayed because he died the laugther, the love, there was plenty and now she's numb, feeling empty because this can't be true she vividly remembers eyes so blue and a smile that reached the corners of her soul he made her feel alive, free and whole she touches her stomach, and knows she must go on because it's not just her, she's not alone there's a child coming, any day now and she has to be strong somehow for the little one who will also grieve for a father who isn't here, who had to leave
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Oct 6, 2012
Oct 6, 2012 at 9:03 PM UTC
ashes
How can you find beauty in something so ugly Because your lies twinkle down my spine Like sharp rose thorns in the spring time You’re a rose and I’m afraid of being pricked   Everyone wanted me to see that we could not thrive, so gouge out my eyes. Because if this is reality then I guess I'm not alive. You’re like the Dead Sea I sink when you are with me Covering me with sand all over my sunburnt wounds I used to think you were the resilient hues in the sky bringing out sunlight But you’re a tidal wave you rip right through me The tears in my eyes are seen as cold and sad The darkness of the rain you overcast breaks upon me Take what you can from me Take only what you need A family of trees wanting to be haunted Control yourself control your needs Dreaming in the lows, I never thought I'd see this high Now I'm shooting for the moon, you're calling me a lunar light Staring at the roots, nobody there to help me grow I was longing for the rain, you were the flood that made me overflow You're everything that I hoped for That's why I gave you my all You're everything that I prayed for But you were stolen Why did everything change? Everything was ours Everything was stolen and now it’s all gone We found the rain, but if we start to peel away the grey Maybe we're home When your heart weighs down on my shoulders And your eyes wide lose me at sea and your words make a smoldering fire You are the moon pulling tides over me Giving me grey notes that sing through the windows Let’s, Step out into the wild There's a beautiful storm in your eyes We're perfectly intertwined And if it's quite alright, you could be my way of life Sea salt sits on your lips Birds fall earthwards from cliffs Thought I couldn't do this But I'm fine 'cause you're by my side Now where do you go? Why do you leave? And as the waves grow in between Harder the days go Darling I'm folding I'm on my knees You give me nothing When there's nothing else So deep the water But you're hiding in the shallows And I'm left here drowning out
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Mar 8, 2018
Mar 8, 2018 at 3:13 PM UTC
You’re My Dead Sea I’m Left Drowing Out Beneath The
How can you find beauty in something so ugly Because your lies twinkle down my spine Like sharp rose thorns in the spring time You’re a rose and I’m afraid of being pricked   Everyone wanted me to see that we could not thrive, so gouge out my eyes. Because if this is reality then I guess I'm not alive. You’re like the Dead Sea I sink when you are with me Covering me with sand all over my sunburnt wounds I used to think you were the resilient hues in the sky bringing out sunlight But you’re a tidal wave you rip right through me The tears in my eyes are seen as cold and sad The darkness of the rain you overcast breaks upon me Take what you can from me Take only what you need A family of trees wanting to be haunted Control yourself control your needs Dreaming in the lows, I never thought I'd see this high Now I'm shooting for the moon, you're calling me a lunar light Staring at the roots, nobody there to help me grow I was longing for the rain, you were the flood that made me overflow You're everything that I hoped for That's why I gave you my all You're everything that I prayed for But you were stolen Why did everything change? Everything was ours Everything was stolen and now it’s all gone We found the rain, but if we start to peel away the grey Maybe we're home When your heart weighs down on my shoulders And your eyes wide lose me at sea and your words make a smoldering fire You are the moon pulling tides over me Giving me grey notes that sing through the windows Let’s, Step out into the wild There's a beautiful storm in your eyes We're perfectly intertwined And if it's quite alright, you could be my way of life Sea salt sits on your lips Birds fall earthwards from cliffs Thought I couldn't do this But I'm fine 'cause you're by my side Now where do you go? Why do you leave? And as the waves grow in between Harder the days go Darling I'm folding I'm on my knees You give me nothing When there's nothing else So deep the water But you're hiding in the shallows And I'm left here drowning out
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I should have never let you go... I can't do this alone... I thought losing you would set me free, But now I'm missing home. Things were getting easier... I thought the worst was through... I never saw it coming... When I ran into you. The icy truth wraps round my throat and haunts me every night, I'm never getting over you. ...and might never be alright. The folly of a foolish heart, Young, naive and free. Blessed with a love so beautiful, But was too blind to see. I hope that there's a purpose A lesson hidden in the pain I hope I find the sun again Cause I'm drowing in the rain
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Oct 17, 2015
Oct 17, 2015 at 2:23 PM UTC
The Rain
I've bled blood thicker than water and thinner than a sheet of ice. It never mattered what i did, i always broke through. today was the same as yesterday until i set myself free. I was drowing inside my body, killing the fear and squashing the insecurity. We trivilize poignant things and make mountains out of mole hills. The thing about living is that you just have to let it all go, let it do what it wants to you. All you can do is choose to appreciate where you are and follow the path of least resistance.
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Dec 15, 2013
Dec 15, 2013 at 6:36 AM UTC
run with your heart and fly by your soul
I find myself finding it harder to sleep at night I can't help thinking maybe it's the light I turn it off and my mind creates images you can only see in the dark I turn it back on and my thoughts go on and on I toss and turn and close my eyes I can hear the clock ticking as time flies I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling please let me sleep, I am more than willing For a while I can feel myself drifting away Hello sleep, I'm on my way But the voices The lights They won't let me sleep Playing in my mind like an eager child I'm ragged Weary Drowing in my own thoughts I close my eyes and try again I can feel daytime crawling on my window I need more time, I wish I could borrow
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Dec 6, 2015
Dec 6, 2015 at 1:13 PM UTC
Sleep
Drowning in the ocean baby, Drowing deep within with you. I never realised just how blue your eyes were baby, Until we sank into the blue. Alone to sleep in dark abyss. Forever.. Together, Just Me & You.
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Aug 31, 2015
Aug 31, 2015 at 10:41 PM UTC
Deep Blue.
A wise man he once told me never turn your back unto the tide I did that once he told me, then he turned around and cried It washed away my house of sand and all the memories that it held I felt like I was drowing "Don't ever do it!" then he yelled. The sand just like an hourglass, was washed away and gone I was so sad, I felt so bad like I could not go on. But then I saw my reflection on the water And I heard the mermaids sing And I decided not to let the tide take away everything! I still had my umbrella to keep me safe from getting burned And the vast ocean before me, all the things I've not yet learned. Only He can walk on water, and that's when He gave the sign I noticed another set of footprints in the sand right next to mine It's then that I had realized He'd been watching over me Protecting me from harm from the perils of the sea I had gone as near to the edge of the shore that I would go Rather than drown I built a boat and I began to row "Keep your compass pointed always in the direction of your dreams" Life isn't always easy, but it's easier than it seems!" I blinked, just for a second, when I looked again he was gone But the story that he told me in my heart will carry on He made a lot of sense that day, gave good advice to me I wouldn't let it beat me, I would learn to tame the sea! So I grabbed my pail and shovel, built a fortress strong and high and dared those waves to knock it down, but if it did I wouldnt cry Instead I'd build one bigger, with the help of my family Nothing was gonna' beat me, not even the raging sea! Sometimes I look out from the shore and I could swear I see That wise old man sailing off into the sunset and look back and wink at me!
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Apr 15, 2010
Apr 15, 2010 at 5:28 AM UTC
A wise man he once told me.....
A wise man he once told me never turn your back unto the tide I did that once he told me, then he turned around and cried It washed away my house of sand and all the memories that it held I felt like I was drowing "Don't ever do it!" then he yelled. The sand just like an hourglass, was washed away and gone I was so sad, I felt so bad like I could not go on. But then I saw my reflection on the water And I heard the mermaids sing And I decided not to let the tide take away everything! I still had my umbrella to keep me safe from getting burned And the vast ocean before me, all the things I've not yet learned. Only He can walk on water, and that's when He gave the sign I noticed another set of footprints in the sand right next to mine It's then that I had realized He'd been watching over me Protecting me from harm from the perils of the sea I had gone as near to the edge of the shore that I would go Rather than drown I built a boat and I began to row "Keep your compass pointed always in the direction of your dreams" Life isn't always easy, but it's easier than it seems!" I blinked, just for a second, when I looked again he was gone But the story that he told me in my heart will carry on He made a lot of sense that day, gave good advice to me I wouldn't let it beat me, I would learn to tame the sea! So I grabbed my pail and shovel, built a fortress strong and high and dared those waves to knock it down, but if it did I wouldnt cry Instead I'd build one bigger, with the help of my family Nothing was gonna' beat me, not even the raging sea! Sometimes I look out from the shore and I could swear I see That wise old man sailing off into the sunset and look back and wink at me!
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30
There are two sides of me struggling against each other yet they remain joined in an epic campaign. Both are determind to remove any obstacle which lies in their way The constant pull from these two conflicting forces is stifling, their goal to maximize my pain. Together they make me whole, but their differences are as drastic as the night is to the day. I swear some moments I can hear the moon lit sky calling out to me. When the  taste of the wind makes everthing burst into a magnificent spark. Within a flash I'm drowing a million hands drag me to the bottom of the sea. In this frenzy I'm left silently screaming ,scared and in the dark. There are times when the love within me almost consumes me, my entire heart and soul, it has a furious intensity only matched if the sun and moon would collide. Without warning a nothingness slowly starts to creep thrusting me into a darkness, swallowing my everything , from it I can not hide. The purity in which I can feel some emotions is nearly impossible to bare. The force behind them starts to frantically grow until it begins devouring me. Keep your head held high I whisper, as our eyes  deadlock in a wandering stare. Reminding myself that they are only able to see the me I choose  them to see.
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Apr 21, 2013
Apr 21, 2013 at 1:27 AM UTC
The Struggle Within
last night it was exactly a year ago it happend there were sad words leaving my pencil, I wrote a letter a letter to say goodbye to everyone who once loved me or didn't I was dancing with the demons in my mind, it was good I was singing songs with my shadows, songs with the broken ones and the devil was watching me from a close distance my socks were ***** and the ***** bottles were empty I don't even remember what happend to me that night all I wanted was to create art when I woke up that morning drowing in pain and tears, I wanted to make a painting a painting with sad colors, like grey and black and navy blue a masterpiece filled with my blood, my pain, my empty emotions it were the pills I swallowed that night to keep me from falling appart it were the blades rushing over my veins that made me feel alive all these lose things, all these things, the visions of monsters, the pain all the tears I cried that night, the alcohol I drank to keep me calm but still it was your beautiful smile that haunted me, killed me your pretty eyes and wonderful angel face that made me wanna live you were all I could think of from the moment we first met, forever it was you and only you.
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Jun 23, 2015
Jun 23, 2015 at 2:29 PM UTC
shadows.
in my dreams i am drowing in a sea of emotion. my head held just below the surface of the water and all i have to breathe through is a straw
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Sep 6, 2024
Sep 6, 2024 at 4:02 PM UTC
nightmares
i don´t really know what i want. i have been with so many boys, with so many personalities, i got stuck in so many smiles, and i can´t understand why i'm always so alone. i don't know what i'm searching for, it seems like no one is good enough for me, i feel like i could never be happy with anyone, even if this person loves me and everything but i can't stand with someone for so long and i feel like i am the problem and i sort of am. i don't know what i need, i am walking for a long and dark highway where i can't find nothing but myself, and i don't know where i want to get. i am so confused about me, it seems like i don't even know myself. i look at the mirror i don't have any problems with what i see superficially, but when i look inside of me i see absolutely nothing, i don't know if i am happy or sad, i feel like i don´t know myself. i feel like i'm not being true with people, i feel like i've been drowing into a deep sea where the water is so black i can't see where i am, i don't know if i will breath again an in this kind of situation, no one can help me. how could anyone understand me when i don't? i live so lost inside my way that i can't even say what i want my future to be, i don't have expectations about me and nothing can change that, i have always been a confused girl, since i was a kid, even when i was a kid i could see my future in a mist where i didn't know what i was going to turn out to be. i am walking ahead but i don't know if what i want is there, i feel like at anytime i can just regret everything i've been doing and just walk back and maybe turn to right or left. i don't know where i'm going to take myself but i am not expecting nothing and i'm not sticking out with anyone because i don't think anyone can handle my inconstant way without getting hurt.
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Jan 26, 2014
Jan 26, 2014 at 12:10 AM UTC
inconstant
i don´t really know what i want. i have been with so many boys, with so many personalities, i got stuck in so many smiles, and i can´t understand why i'm always so alone. i don't know what i'm searching for, it seems like no one is good enough for me, i feel like i could never be happy with anyone, even if this person loves me and everything but i can't stand with someone for so long and i feel like i am the problem and i sort of am. i don't know what i need, i am walking for a long and dark highway where i can't find nothing but myself, and i don't know where i want to get. i am so confused about me, it seems like i don't even know myself. i look at the mirror i don't have any problems with what i see superficially, but when i look inside of me i see absolutely nothing, i don't know if i am happy or sad, i feel like i don´t know myself. i feel like i'm not being true with people, i feel like i've been drowing into a deep sea where the water is so black i can't see where i am, i don't know if i will breath again an in this kind of situation, no one can help me. how could anyone understand me when i don't? i live so lost inside my way that i can't even say what i want my future to be, i don't have expectations about me and nothing can change that, i have always been a confused girl, since i was a kid, even when i was a kid i could see my future in a mist where i didn't know what i was going to turn out to be. i am walking ahead but i don't know if what i want is there, i feel like at anytime i can just regret everything i've been doing and just walk back and maybe turn to right or left. i don't know where i'm going to take myself but i am not expecting nothing and i'm not sticking out with anyone because i don't think anyone can handle my inconstant way without getting hurt.
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The ink revealed all my sealed joys "I love you like the sea loves the shore." But waves were drowing the shore, And then the midnight moon comes into play They say drowning is blind, Little do they know Blind are those, who never drown If and mays come into play "May I drown in the sea of your love?" "What if the waves drown you?" But... What if I really want to swim in What if I want to get pulled in To the deepest parts What if the current of those waves Take me somewhere A complete else where From the real world Where it can be just you and me.
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Apr 16, 2019
Apr 16, 2019 at 2:50 PM UTC
Sea of love
Leaden feet Soul heavy Constriction wracks my chest Eyesight fading out at best Every step Burdens me Drowing out my screams They don't know what i mean Cold are we Faceless sea The crowd is sundered With a sound of thunder Chemical feeling Rising faster Black metal plating Hidden by color Nausea knowlage Turning over Sterile and voiceless Overpowered The second freezes and the door explodes One or two to every home The crowd plays on A silver show And all of mine are on their own Masqurade The masks are on Every sillable of every song The Loss of feeling I have no doubt And they are carried off A few rounds pop off The music stops For a split second order holds everyone still as stone Then my life is taken before my naked eyes And I wake up here, alone, surrounded by the flock My heart has been torn from my chest God give me strength
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Apr 4, 2017
Apr 4, 2017 at 1:31 AM UTC
Parade 3/4
*Thoughts of you flood my mind...                                                                      ...and I'm ok with*  drowning.
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Jul 1, 2016
Jul 1, 2016 at 10:29 PM UTC
Drowing Lessons