Duck duck goose
Duck duck goose
The same old routine
Stuck on a loop
Like a new found song
Played over and over
Story of my life
Wish I wasn't sober
I'm stuck in the mud
Stuck in this town
Ready to get out
Before I dumb down
Ring around the rosie
I have already fallen down
There is no exit in sight
Every time I turn around
I write my own songs
They aren't very good
But they are mine
They tell you where I've stood
They start to sound the same
After a while
Same chord progressions
All my thoughts compiled
1 2 3, 1 2 3,
What will i do now?
Hopefully something different
If my brain will allow
Play then rewind
Maybe I'm insane
Because I keep doing the same old thing
Thinking things will change.
I'm sick of the same old thing everyday, I'm ready for something to change. My way doesn't work, time to break this pride.
I was told I talk too much so I never made a sound
My voice fading until buried six feet underground
I was told I was annoying, that I should just shut up
And people wonder why I'm so quiet
I would try to speak over the ocean waves
I gave up, no one interested in what I had to say
My voice now but a whisper floating on the wind
You wouldn't hear it unless you really listened.
But no one did and no one ever would
Because no one really cared about the girl and didn't see why they should.
I'm the girl that suddenly stopped talking because I felt like I was bothering people.
Many guilty unsure whispers
Through capable, crooked, smiles
Perfectly gleaming unspoken problems
The empty versions of neverending pain screams out blood and truth.
I wish you could understand how hard this is
I wish you could understand just how heavy everything feels
I wish you could just see that something is wrong
But I wish you didn't try to fix me
I know you see my agitation
I know you hear the attitude in my voice
You think its just me being emotional
I just had a bad day
I wish you could leave me be
I wish I had some peace
I wish I had a reason
I wish I had words
But I don't
I can't explain the exhaustion I feel
I cant explain the headaches
I can't explain the weight of it all
I can't explain the desire I feel to just give up
I wish it could be simple
I wish it could all go away
I feel like I'm drowning in a think cement of anxiety and depression….
I want to stay away
I want to escape
I want everything to disappear
I want things to change
So why am I still stuck?
Why can't I move?
Why is it I can't seem to figure out what I'm supposed to do?
You try to talk to me
You try to hear me
But you're NOT LISTENING!
You say you understand
You say you know how I feel
You say you went through the same thing
But that was a long time ago
If you really understood you would leave me alone
If you really understood you would let me breath
I you REALLY TRULY understood you wouldn't be pushing me like this.
I know your stressed but I am too
You say I'm not doing enough,
Like all the effort I put in is nothing
I say I'm busy, but you say I'm not
I'm not doing enough
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW!!!!
You're not me!
You don’t know my life
You don’t know me!
You compare me to Her even though you say you don't
Is nothing I do good enough!!!
I am trying to find my way but its not fast enough for you.
I need time, I need patience,
You're riding on the back of this bronco.
I'm not in university, I don't have good influencing friends according to you.
Apparently I make the wrong decisions.
Do I disappoint you?
Just because I'm not at the same spot as Her?
But its not enough.
I feel like I'm going to break
I feel like any day I'm just going to stop caring
I have already been slipping downhill.
I haven't been taking care of myself and it shows
But your too wrapped up in everything else to see it
I know you need the support
I know its been ******* you too.
But please SEE ME
Please Hear Me
Sorry guys, just a frustrated, overly emotional, vent. Not sure if this is even considered poetry at this point, so I don't know if this belongs here. (I used lots of repetition though; that's a poetry thing, lol) But I'm sure many of you might feel the same way sometimes even though these words don't fully express the emotions bubbling over.
I'm being chased by a monster of my own design.
Even though I have never really drowned,
I know what it's like to hold your breath for so long,
That when you take that first gasp,
You feel as though it is your first time breathing.