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Eyithen 2d
She was the queen of poisons,
Pretty to look at
But deadly

She has many names
and wears a purple hood,
she chases the wolves away.

Consuming her is lethal
You'll never see her coming,
She will burn you from inside
and leave you paralyzed.

She will steal your breath,
Make you numb,
And listen as you whisper your last words.

She is a killer queen
She'll end you from inside,
best watch out for that purple shroud
Or she could steal your life.
Aconite/wolfsbane/monkshood- a deadly plant with many names.
Eyithen Feb 20
Do you ever feel like you just annoy everyone?
Like they are secretly wishing you would just go away?
I try not to feel this way.

I try to tell myself that i am just imagining things
That it is all just in my head,
But its too late.
The anxiety has already kicked in
My thoughts are already spiraling.
Like a chain reaction, one thought sets off all the others.

I don't know what to do.
I just want to cry,
Because there is this loneliness.
Like i can never really trust anyone or what they say
Because i don't know if they are sincere.
I don't know what has caused this mistrust
But it's there.

I have never really been lied to or betrayed.
So why do i feel this way?
Why do i feel so defensive?
I'm not closed off, i tell people my life story,
But i never let them know how I really feel in the present.
It just shows I'm more insecure than i thought, even though i thought i was past this.

I think that is why i like stories about romance and love.
I wish i had that special someone.
Someone whom i could trust and tell them what i was really feeling.
Because then i know that someone really loves me.
That i don't have to lie or pretend with them.
Someone who could hold me up and be there for me when i need it; and i would do the same in return.

I wish i could lean on my friends, but they have enough of their own problems, i don't want to burden them with my petty feelings.
I know i could tell them anything, but i still feel the need to put on a smile and fake the fact that i may not be okay for once.

I guess i just don't want to make it seem like a bigger deal then it really is.
Maybe I'm afraid to show how broken i really feel,
To show how weak i am, that i actually hurt and have problems.
Even if i have only been cracked, not shattered, even if i have no reason to hurt, its these **** "emotions" and "feelings".

It hurts when i see friends of mine out having fun together on social media,
then comes that one triggering thought...
"why wasn't I invited?"

Even though i am included, I still feel excluded.
And it's not like i am not social enough,
i make the time and effort,
And yet i am still on the outside looking in.
Screaming through a window for someone to hear me.

I crave that unconditional love. To know that someone really loves me inside and out despite my insecurities and quirks.
Someone that i could trust wholeheartedly.
I have never felt this,
But i can only imagine how addicting it must be.

It's days like these,
I get stuck in the past,
These sinking feeling don't last.
But then i go back to the same old routine
I'm happy again but is it real?
This is more of a rant than anything. There is a rhythm (sort of) but no sense of rhyme. I was listening to Cold by Jorge Mendez while writing this. It is beautiful sad with a touch of anger.
Eyithen Feb 13
Another year gone by
Another year alone
I am used to this by now
Used to being on my own

I couldn't care less for Valentines day
It is chaotic and cheesy
It's too much of a cliché
My guy would get off easy

Singles awareness day comes after
That's the one I relate too
With my girls we celebrate together
They understand it like I do

We giggle and laugh
Cause we got something better
We make fun of all those couples
Singles stick together.
Eyithen Feb 12
A tragically beautiful space
Constellations telling secrets of the universe.
Always giving, waiting to be known.
Stars years away, slowly dying
In a sea of darkness, shining through the drowning.

I peer into the infinite space
A graveyard of lights in their final resting place.
How insignificant am I?
A grain of sand in a vast desert
What was important is not
As I rest in my creators hands.

Our oceans unexplored
How far can we stretch these arms?
We are bound by our limits
We are not bigger then we are.

The moon does not glow
without the help of the sun
The oceans do not move
without the help of the moon

Depths unobtainable
Distances too far to travel
Left to my imagination
As I stare at the sky
We are often so focused on ourselves. "Everything revolves around me". See how small you are, smaller than a cell in a body.
Eyithen Jan 13
Its feels as though I am constantly being shut down.
The worst part is that I don't think they realize they are doing it,
And even worse than that?
It come's from someone who doesn't mean to,
And you wonder why I am holed up in my room all day?
It's not because I'm lazy or antisocial.
It's because I don't have the energy to put up with their scrutiny.
Eyithen Dec 2018
Sad days are the worst
You have no reason to feel
You go through the day wondering if you're real

You just feel tired and empty
A robot without a purpose

So you listen to the sad songs
Because all you want to do is cry

And the only way to get there
is to inflict the emotions on yourself
You want to feel the pain

You grab a guitar start strumming away
thinking of the most bleak situations

Creating lyrics that match the feeling
Even if they go with a fictional scenario

Sometimes I wish I didn't have such an active imagination
Because things that aren't real can become as real as memory

You keep it slow and melancholy
Pouring out sorrowful words

I guess it is true what they say
Broken girls sing broken songs
Eyithen Nov 2018
I have to stay away from things that drive me mad,
Things that bring back thoughts that I stored away.

I remind myself of this as I see the signs,
I thought I was over this, I have been happy,

And yet here I am once again
crying over the me that could've been.

I am sick of crying, of feeling this way
I'm sick of comparing myself to other people
I am sick of the insecurities that wait around the corner,
Latching on later like leaches.
"Shut up!" I scream at myself.
"what is my problem?"
Even I can't answer that one.

Last night was the worst as I started to assign thoughts to everyone
My head hasn't been this loud in a while.
"They are laughing at you."
"They are annoyed and blame you."
Do others find me annoying?
Cause I do.
"You're pathetic"
"you cant do anything right"
"Its YOUR fault."
Spiraling and spiraling

I find myself apologizing for things I have no control over
"Why do I keep apologizing? I have no need to"
I wish I could stop and stand up for myself for once

I love it when angry fire fuels me
Cause it is during those moments that I don't care
"I don't care what you think"
"I don't care of your opinions"
"Shut up and stop telling me what to do!"
I mutter these words under my breath as I bite my tongue.
Because there is no point in starting a fight I may or may not win

So I go home and cry it out,
But I don't even have the energy you need to release the excess
This will only make sense to some as I have a very topsy-turvy brain.
Everything feels upside down.
I have taken a trip to wonderland where everyone is mad and very little makes sense.
Where is my mad hatter? They make me feel sane.
I need them in the air so I can feel the ground.

Her soothing words and our long talks bring me back up
I wouldn't have made it out without her guidance.
My mind is quiet once again
Thanks mom.
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