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adele horn Jan 2015
Broad-shoulder'd I,
stride amongst the ruins,
of what I had bled.

Brush off the ashes,
of love letters burn'd,
and dreams torn apart.

I clasp unto my own hand,
guide myself through the thorns.

You were not there.

I washed away,
the devices you left,
upon my mirrors and walls.

I took the punches,
display'd as trophy,
of my victory over grief.

I conceal'd the tear as it fell,
and smil'd like it didn't hurt.

You were not there.

Each day I float away.
Amongst the stars of forgetting.
Through the universe we marvel'd at.
Dissolving away my love into the cold.

I was the star that burn'd for you.
You were not there.
adele horn Mar 2014

my body is small
my ******* are unimpressive
my hair is without luster
my hips are not seductive
my eyes are not deep pools of mystery
my skin is flawed
my mind is addled
my voice is not lyrical
my walk is without grace
my words are not eloquent
my feet are scarred
my knees are bony
my piercings are skew
my nails varnish is chipped
my teeth are yellow
my nose is big
my wardrobe is uninspired
my job is meaningless
my libido is low

i love you more than i have words to declare.
is that not enough?
adele horn Dec 2013
there was a place
where my  heart grew
In a murky peace,
it was comfortably happy

But you ripped it away.
denied me my haven,
however broken it was.

And I bled for an age.
And my scabs became scars.
And my lips remembered how to smile.

And my heart ached for you no more.

But and but.
But then there you were.

My haven
My place
My murky sunlight.

There you were.
And we laughed.
For a moment,
I was safe again.

And I was oh so radiant.
And I was oh so polite.
A vision of Over You.

But when the rain came.
And you faded into the mist.
I cried bitter tears of Not Over You.

For the cherished hollow I miss,
is the broken thing you escaped.
adele horn Dec 2013
Thank you
For thinking I'm funny
Thank you
For catering to my whims
Thank you
For being understanding
Thank you
For being a gentleman
Thank you
for caring
Thank you
for sharing
Thank you
For being honest
Thank you
For letting me be free
Thank You
For letting me swear
Thank You
For letting me be faithless
Thank You
For bringing me calm
Thank You
For making me feel secure
Thank You
For letting me love you
Thank You
For opening your heart
Thank You
For giving me another chance.

I hope I can make you proud.
adele horn Dec 2013
this is where I am
I plant a flag upon myself
I lay claim
to me.

I know my face
I know my voice
I know the feeling
of my own skin

I have comfort
in the silence.
My spaces
are familiar.

I have found
that elusive thing.
The one that calms a heart.

It's called acceptance
It's called respect

And I cried many bitter tears
Ad my hands tore at my hair
And my grief tore at my heart
for the loss of a dream.

But the dream is over.
I was blind for wanting it.

I am calm.
Now that I know.
I hate you more than I hate myself.
adele horn Jun 2013
made myself write this every morning, as part of my healing process
adele horn Jun 2013
i live here
a hidey-hole
all my own.
i pull out the blankets
over my scars.
immerse my mind
in fake realities.
saturate my pain
in vicarious compassion.
pull the curtains,
so i cannot see.
the jagged holes you ripped from me.
after i got dumped like a *******, i went into complete Supernatural fangirl mode, and watched all the series, every night, for two months.  i found immense comfort in the brother's compassion for each other, something i had been deprived of for a long time.
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