XOXOXOX
Angel?
In That Moonlit Night Standing In The Abaft,
Watching The Towed Flaccid Wooden Raft,
I Thought That I Saw An Angel Resting,
Lying Exhausted There In That Craft.

I Call The Girl Out Unbeknownst Of Her Kind Name,
"Hey Young Lady!!" To Which She Doesn't Much Respond,
She Looks Up Towards Me Once In Anguish & Collapsed,
I Spot Desperation In Amber Eyes & Resolve To Help Her.

The Crewmen Had Now Been Doing The Paddles After Resting,
I Summon My Captain & Ask, "Do You See That Girl In The Raft?"
The Captain Now Smiles To Say, "Commodore, Better Get Married,"
I Look So Clueless To Which He Simply Replied, "There Is No Girl."

True He Was As She Had Simply Disappeared,
I Started Thinking Of My Sleep Needs That Day,
I Looked Around Again In A Hope To Find The Girl,
I Had Compromised My Routine As The Commodore.

Then I Immediately Realized It Was My Wild Phantasm,
Now This Was Just A Plain Illusion Of A Tired Sailor's Mind,
No Mermaids Could Have Ever Existed In Reality & Were Fake,
I Turned Towards The Deck To Go Back To My Bunk For Sleeping.

As I Climbed Down The Stairs To Enter My Room Amazed & Dazed,
I Saw Her Standing And Waiting For Me By The Side Of My Bunk,
I Accepted That Delusion Of My Mind & Started To Lie Down,
She Said, "I'm As Real As Your Thoughts, Don't Fear Me."

She & I-Me & Her, Had The Best Time That Night,
In The Morning She Was Gone & Was Just Gone,
Disappeared Into Thin Air While I Was Asleep,
Each Day I So Dearly Long For Her To Return.
7 Stanzas of a Beautiful Open-Eyed Dream
My HP Poem #19
©Atul Kaushal

Angel Again?
Now I Reached The Lands Again,
Still Dazzled And Confused I Was,
Oh How She Had Filled My Twilight,
Unable To Forget Her Divinely Touch.

Magical Touch Had Enchanted Me,
Able To Recall It From The Voyage,
I Stumbled When Disembarking,
Oh - It Was The First Time For Me,
My Thoughts Would Last Along.

After So Many Days At The Sea,
I Planned Of Bathing Properly,
Her Illusion Tricked Me Thereto,
Oh - How Her Traces Remained On,
Facing The Mirror, I Stood Perplexed.

Still Unable To Accept The Reality,
I Longed For That Night To Repeat,
My Heart Beats Angel In Each Beat,
Life Staged A Drama Too Crazy,
Unwilling To Accept The Reality.

My Body Carries The Vestiges,
I Turn Crazier With Each Bath,
Her Lips' Traces Keep Appearing,
Driving Me Mad Is Her Memory,
God! Bring Her To Life Once More.

I Had My Powers As A Commodore,
I Sent For The Captain Of My Ship,
"What Bothers You, My Commodore,"
And So He Asked Of Me Kindly,
Then I Told Him About Her Traces.

Smiling He Told Me Yet Again,
"I Had Told You To Get Married,"
I Agreed This Time And Nodded,
"Alright, Search For Me A Bride,"
Going Outside, He Smiled Plainly.
My HP Poem #766
©Atul Kaushal

Angel Surely?
Till Few Months Of Reaching Back,
I Kept Seeing Her Images All Over,
It Drove Me Crazy, Her Presence...

Taking Time Out To Search Her Out,
I Went For The Mountainous Path,
It May Cease I Hope These Dreams.

The Horse Made Me Look A Knight,
I Set Out Solo For The Dark Creeks,
It Helped Me Realize My Solo Aim...

Then She Came Into My View Again,
I Was Prepared For Tackling My Illusion,
It Started Snowing Out Of Nowhere.

Took Me To A Safer Place She Then,
I Was Bewildered Again Once More,
It Was Clearing But She Vanished...

Then On My Way I Stopped To Rest,
I Looked Around For A Place To Sit,
It Came To My View A Huge Tavern.

Tavern On A Mountain Was Weird,
I Still Went To It Hoping Some Rest,
It Had Appeared Out Of Nowhere...
My HP Poem #839
©Atul Kaushal

Angel Illusion?
I Peered Out Of The Room Windows,
I Was In This Desolate Guesthouse,
It Was A Comfortable Rest House,
And Here I Was In Anticipation,
Angel Or Whosoever Was Awaited,
Will She Pop Into My Vision Here Too,
Was It Only A Seasick Mind's Illusion?

Was All That Really Just An Illusion,
Thinking This I Prepared For Bed,
Then I Felt A Flute Was Playing,
Looked Into Sound's Direction,
All I Saw Then Was Foggy Night,
My Own Reflection Was Also Visible,
Slightly If Not Entirely Can Be Seen.

I Recalled The First Night At The Sea,
She Did Appear On The Towed Raft,
A Beautiful Mermaid I Had Seen,
Now I Did Remember It Clearly,
My Face Was No Longer Mine,
Yes It Was The Beautiful face of hers,
She Wasn't Sad As I Did Remember.

She Was Smiling So Very Divinely,
Her Brown Eyes Stared So Cutely,
More Divine Felt She Was Really,
I Thought That It Was So Early,
My Pocket Watch Showed Three,
I Took My Eyes Off And Went To Bed,
Then & There She Was Lying For Me.

I Again Let My Mind Play Games,
Never Did Imagine Turning Mad,
Now I Was Not Feeling As Bad,
Neither I Wanted To Break It,
Nor It Felt Like One Anymore,
This Was The Dream I Loved To Live,
As If The Boon Was Presented To Me.

She Smiled As I Sat On The Bed,
I Asked Her, "Are You Real?"
"Yes, Just As Your Thoughts,"
I Then Stared At Her Lips,
She Then Touched Me Again,
Hands As Soft As That Night At Sea,
I Just Felt Like Opposing Her Touch.

I Blankly Smiled And Thought,
'My Thoughts Are Surely Real,'
Then I Just Let Her Guide Me,
The Moon Shone So Bright,
It Just Felt Really So Very Right,
Resigning I Just Let My Illusion Win,
It's Love We Were Sharing, Not A Sin.
My HP Poem #848
©Atul Kaushal

Angel Not Again!!!
I Recovered From The Night Again,
She Had Disappeared Once More,
Was She Using Me As A ******???

I Was Frustrated & Also Saddened,
My Self-Control Got Strengthened,
For I Was Not A Tissue To Be Used!!!

I Have My Feelings & My Emotions,
Presence And Absence Torture Me,
Ego I Had Tamed Got Hurt By Now...

I Won't Let That Elusive Angel Come,
Questioning I Must Be Her Realities,
Illusions Will End This Time Finally!!!

I'll Establish An Identity Of My Own,
Dependent I'll Not Be On The Angel,
Was She Just A Dream & No More???

I Had Duly Asked The Aged Captain,
To Search For Me A Lovely Bride Soon,
Oh, So Sure I Am About Afterwards...

I Was Tailed By The Spirit-Like Angel,
So Irritated By Her Dreary Dreams,
On-Off, Came-Gone, Again & Again!!!

I Now Would Learn Catching Angels,
With The Plan, I Went To The Mage,
Should I Now Learn Some Spells???

I Entered Through A Dark Alleyway,
Was Told To Visit This Strange Place,
What Comes Across - I Wondered...

I Knocked The Door & She Seemed,
Very Young She Seemed To Me Now,
Just The Age Of The Angel Of Dreams!!!

I Noticed That She Wore A Long Robe,
So Shiny It Was Silvery Like Her Hair,
Just Like The Angel Of Dreams Wore...

I Rubbed My Tired Eyes In Disbelief,
"Who're You?" I Asked Very Loudly,
"Are You The Mage's Daughter???"

I Wondered For Long & She Replied,
"Your Guess Is Correct, Kind Sailor,"
She Beckoned Me Into The Shack...

I Set My Foot On The Wooden Floor,
I Looked For Any Sign Of The Mage,
I Want To Be Set Free Of The Cage!!!

I Just Thought & Thought About It,
But The Witch Was Not To Be Seen,
Curious I Asked, "Where Is She???"

"I Am My Mother," She Said Calmly,
Perplexed I Couldn't Say A Thing,
My Mouth Opened Once & Shut...

I Was Now About To Rise & Go Away,
But She Stopped Me With Her Arms,
"I Must Show You," So She Did Say!!!

I Believed Not What My Eyes Saw,
How She Changed Into The Old Mage,
Then Back Into Her Own Daughter???

O I Had Become Confused A Lot Now,
Why Would She Transform Like This,
I Feared If It Was Actually The Angel...
My HP Poem #850
©Atul Kaushal

Angel Forever?
Seeing Me Anxious More Than A Lot,
The Old Witch Relented A Little,
She Let Me Breathe Freely,
Back Transformed Into Her Daughter,
She Touched My Forehead,
Then I Realized It Was Sweaty,
Seeing Her Lovely Care I Smiled A Bit.

So She Now Lit Up A Fragrant Incense,
The Incense Seemed So Soothing,
She Then Edged Closer To Me,
Transcendental Wings Were Visible,
She Came Even Closer To Me,
Then The Wings Simply Vanished,
So Traceless As If Never Been There.

It Must Be Yet Another Illusion,
The Very Day I Set Sail To Sea,
It Was Probably Carrying Over,
Troubling Me Each Non & Then,
In My Wild Dreams, I Had Seen,
True She Could Not Be & Was Not,
In My Life, The Torment Was Written.

Soon I Was Pleading To Her, Teary-Eyed,
"Please Don't Torment Me, It Hurts!"
She Looked At Me With Affection,
And said, "But I truly love you, sailor,"
She advanced forwards further,
"Have you forgotten all those nights?
Did you even forget the night at sea?"

I First Remembered That Night At Sea,
The Night Back At Home Came Next,
I Had Been Seduced By Her Magic,
This Was The Real Picture Every Time,
I Was Weak But I Still Felt Warmer,
The Night Ship Feels Like Yesterday,
I Was In Confusion About What To Do.

Her Face Was Transitioning Rapidly,
The Old Mother To Her Daughter,
Her Daughter To That Very Angel,
And Back To The Old Mother Witch,
Her Smile Turned Into Laughter,
The Witch Laughing At My Cries,
Her Face Here Contorted A Lot.

She Seemed To Struggle A Lot,
As Though A Fight Ensued Within,
Soon I Figured It Out By Myself,
That I Must **** The Witch To Help,
So I Looked Around & Grabbed,
An Axe That I Spotted Lying There,
Spot on I killed the witch right then.
My HP Poem #859
©Atul Kaushal

Angel Ultimately?
The saga in her eyes converts into a constant downpour soon after she realizes her freedom from the spell of the dark witch, the curse had turned her a prisoner in the evil witch's body.

"Kind Sailor Thank Thee For Freeing Me."
Her Words Reverberate Throughout,
What Wind - What Land - What Sea,
Everywhere Is Her Presence As I See,
The Wind Whispers Her Name In My Ear,
Since A Long-Long Time Now All I Wear,
Her Scent Is Immortalized In My Memory.

"Will You Stay With Me Forever, Or,
Will You Go Back To The Heavens?"
Though I really wanted her to stay,
I Love Her & Realize What She Felt,
I Offered Her Freedom & A Choice,
I Was Not Binding Her To Me In Turn,
Everything Was Instinctive For Me.

She Seemed In A Serious Dilemma,
Struggling Hard She Was In Herself,
I Again Offered & Insisted This Time,
"It's Better To Go Back To Your World,"
But I Knew That She Loved Me Too,
She Tried Hard Controlling But Said,
"I Am In Love With You Since Long."

So I Am Quite Right That She Loves Me,
I Am Sure Even She Can Forget Me Not,
Beading All Our Memories Together,
I Now Know How I Can Gain Salvation,
Not Being Another Self-Centric Tantric,
"But You Don't Belong Here, Dear Angel,
You Shouldn't Torture Yourself For A Mortal."

After This, She Now Looks Comfortable & Composed,
Ready For Making A Choice She Wore A Heart Of Stone,
Her Lips Slowly Parted Revealing A Perfect Smile,
Pearly Smile Again Ensured Me Of Permanent Happiness,
Bright Eyes & Shiny Eyelids Of Hers Seemed So Good,
"You Can't Make Me Stay Away Because You Love Me Too,
I'll Keep Coming To Your Dreams & Entice Your Nights."

But I Wanted Her In My Real World Now,
I Prevented Her From Vanishing Again,
I Said, "Please Stay, Now Do Not Go Away,
Because I Really Can Not Bear The Pain,"
She Had Almost Vanished By Now,
Listening To My Words She Chose To Wait,
She Said, "Even I Want Forever To Stay."

Continuing With Her Divine Dialogue She Said,
"Say Those Golden Words To Make Me Stay,"
I Immediately Confessed, "I Love You, Angel,"
"Say You Love Me Too, Oh My Divine Angel,"
She Didn't Wait For Anything More To Say It,
"I Love You Too, Oh My Kind & Loving Sailor,"
Her Powers Soon Left Her In A Flash Of Light.
My HP Poem #860
©Atul Kaushal

Oh how calmly she sleeps,
Carefree she always seems,
Wish she gets sweet dreams.
So glorious is her face always,
I wish her all the happiness,
All in the hue of brightness,
None equals her cuteness.

Oh hope never she weeps,
Clarity she wears in deeps,
With time get the -ve wiped,
Such the cutest nature heaps,
I'll be her guardian forever,
At heart Atul is just a loner,
Not just now - but forever.

Only by respecting my love for her,
A clear old identity is rediscovered,
I'm known as Atul Kaushal for a cause,
Singing hymns to my magical love,
Ignoring all those distractions,
And I am happy being with her,
Nirvana comes just for us.

Tum se hi meri pehchaan hai.
Atul yoon hi nahin bana main.

Tum se hi meri zindagi hai.
Aashiq tumhaara yoon hi nahin bana main.

Tum se hi meri khushi hai.
Pyaar tumhe aise hi nahin karta.

Tum se hi meri santushti hai.
Pyaar tumhe yoon hi nahin karta.

Har kavita mein meri tumhaari hi jhalak hoti hai.
Kavi bada main yoon hi nahin bana.

Har saans tumhaari hi yaad dilaati hai.
Zindagi ** meri tum yoon hi nahin kehta.

***************

Fr­om you is my identity,
Atul originates from you.

From you is my life,
I am your crazy lover.

From you is my happiness,
I love you just so seriously.

From you is my satisfaction,
I don't love you just for fun.

Each poem of mine carries your imagery,
I have been a seasoned poet worshipping you.

Every breath reminds me of you,
I call you my life not just for saying.

There is no other Er. Atul Kaushal,
Yes, I am the only one.
I do not need Creepy,
Though Atul was for her,
Atul is not for the unfaithful.
Atul is one in more than 8 billion.
I am Atul: the uniquely incomparable.

Literally Atul Kaushal
Would mean
Incomparable Skill.

6:30 PM 15/10/18 slam poem
"What's her name?" An excited voice whispered.
My benchmate asked me,
Just as the new girl entered,
With all her glowing ebony beauty.

I thought about something,
Ignored him and simply so,
Continuing my reading of the drama.

He prodded on like a nagging child,
"Tell me, Atul, what's her name?
Who's that **** girl?"

His whisper was loud enough now,
The girl heard it as she climbed,
Climbed higher on the back seats and how.

I glared at my benchmate,
In disappointment & disgust,
It was him who I had befriended.

'Him! I befriended him!! Out of them all!!!'
I thought about my vulnerability in our society,
But I did not react to him out of that anger.

I just said, "What's in a name?"
He raised his eyebrows and moaned, "Huh?"
I said with mirth, "Yes! Someone like you will get her renamed!"
7:00 PM

When I was subjected to ragging by seniors,
"It is illegal," I warned them beforehand,
"The kid seems to have gone throughout,
The itenary before boarding the college bus."
A senior student was jeering at me.
I must be appearing like a *******.
"Don't worry, we will only ask for your introduction, consider it an interview. Please," said another senior.
"Alright if you request," I replied and I waited for their questions.
"Introduce yourself to us in few words." I was told by the other senior who had jeered.
"My name is Atul Kaushal, thank you." I jeered back at the senior.

The one for whom I forgot my identity,
Thinks I would devour up her identity.

I became reincarnated as Someone Else for her,
In my heart, I just had a respect for her.

Caring for her I was her guardian angel,
Rubbed of separation was every angle.

Still, she gave me that deafening grief,
Not weeping as tears have bereft me.

I will just overcome her grief one day,
The day I am poet Atul once again.

With other men in her wild dreams,
She makes love just so many times.

The way she often shares her bed,
I will just assume her to be dead.

My name is Atul Kaushal.
Atul has 4 characters,
While Kaushal has 7.
This was the reason,
The reason to dub me AK47.

Fact: Bananas have more trade regulations than AK-47s.

Something healthy must be having such ridiculous regulations,
But not the Kalashnikov as it won't be good for trade relations.
But hey, even she dubs me as her loving exclusive AK-47,
'Coz my name is Atul Kaushal - the letters are 4 and 7!
I shoot poetry and spilled is love instead of blood.

If I could have married myself,
I would definitely do that.
I am ****,
I am so ****,
I am very ****,
I am so very ****,
I am definitely ****.

I love my soft heart,
I love my wisdom,
I love my looks,
I love myself,
I love Atul.
I would create a clone of mine,
I will be so happy marrying myself.

I refuse to give someone the rights,
If they are not capable of keeping them,
And if they would give another heartbreak,
Several times I failed myself in relationships,
Grabbing a new one if the earlier drowned,
But it too starts to be sinking very soon,
I refuse to trust someone else again.

We used to play in that playground,
It was full of uniform levelled green grass.

Here heartily played Abhishek's greyhound,
Running excitedly all over game's green mass.

We used to play cricket in the ground,
It was a temporary zone of football grass.

Here all games were near Atul's house unbound,
Free from all school-work it was enjoyable as deep bass.

But today our generation is busy in our lives making careers,
The next generation is too young yet to make full use of the lawns.

Reduced in size which used to be our hugest amphitheatre of sweetness,
Has now got grass growing untamed covering The Playground Of Wilderness.

I have been to places for love,
Travelling I have been in love,
And learning I have from love.

I went from movies to homes,
To palaces & even to fortresses,
'Atul' learnt to love from travel.

I visited ancient places in love,
The sweet feeling togetherness,
Atypical Life I have lived along.

I used to go to Ambala years ago,
The sweet loving girl used to wait,
Along her I visited movies & kissed.

I went to Jaipur & even Agra next,
The sweetest for us both was Jaipur,
Agra was where I gifted my virginity.

I kissed at the Old Fort at New Delhi,
The kiss at fort gave me goosebumps,
Attic was where the seductress kissed.

I kissed inside her home in the sitting,
That night was dead as she kissed me,
Above the sleeping King was the kiss.

Should anyone ask us about our love,
Especially I'll mention how we loved,
Xclusively for one another we used to.

When you were stressed out,
And you needed me to relax,
Should not be forgotten by you.

You did love me,
Or rather than just love,
Up you went on my tender touch,
Rolling over on the first hint.

Love was just a word you used,
Us was just a piece of myth,
So you ever wanted was a tool,
T**ool you wanted but not Atul.

While referring to me
She previously used it to mean a
Very Important Person.

But now I've realized
My mistakes & worth in her life as a
Very Idiotic Person.

I used to care so much for her
I was protective for her future
My directions were my misgivings
This is what she thought of my advice.

She grew sick of my advice
She used to not follow it and suffer
She wasted eons stuck in the bog
All that after eating Punjabi junk food
And guess what, she prefers suffering health problems
And wasting her precious time in pain
She ditched me instead of abandoning junk food.

But to tell my young girlfriend
To follow a discipline in her life,
Is it such a grievous crime by me?

Whatever you might say,
She ditched me for it,
Like she did 2 years back.

She will think, 'Atul is a true lover,
He'll wait for me to repent,'
I am neither that ever forgiving God,
Nor I'm an idiot to again forgive,
I have moved on bearing at helm the self-respect I managed to preserve,
But she's surely not the one for me,
And I no longer care who's mine,
I'll live with that apparently egotistic persona.

Because I have kissed death once,
I realize what my standing in life means,
To me, I am the most important person now,
I'll live my life on my own terms,
Alone if I must.

I can't say I will marry her really soon for sure, because this is India and the society here is really tough.

But I'm Atul Kaushal, my name literally means Incomparable Skill and I intend to achieve something significant in my life, such that I'm fully capable to fulfill all her unsaid hidden desires when we marry.

I don't want her to feel any regrets or other negative feelings when she marries me some 7 years later, I only want us to be different than the rest of world such that unlike most of them no problems arise between us due to various worldly problems.

May be I'm dreaming of something perfect, but so far my life has been perfectly imperfect with the share of misgivings I have had is the majority in my performance card and I now wish that when she marries me the only thing which is imperfect is our hairstyle every morning we wake up smiling as we remember the previous night.

May be I am or may be I'm not demanding too much from time - I'm just asking her in my destiny - just her - in my mornings I imagine her jogging with me - in my days toiling at her desk in the office just like me - in my afternoons calling me to verify if I had my lunch we had packed in the morning - in my evenings asking how my day at office had been and telling about hers too - in my weekends I see 'us' having fun.

May be I am or may be I'm not being too apprehensive in my mind - apprehensive that whether her family will accept me as their son-in-law, or we would have to forget each other, or we will have only one way left and that be just to take help from the court and elope to get married, or may be I will just have to abduct her from the wedding venue in full public view in front of her parents, uncles & aunts, siblings & cousins, friends & acquaintances, Hindu priests & pujaris, may be thugs & bodyguards hired by her family to keep the wedding a smooth affair, and may be my parents might refuse to let her in.

But under ideal conditions, it will be as I desired and even later we would be happily parenting two kids for I don't wish to have just one child like I myself had been in my childhood; these scars of loneliness are dug prominently on my face, but these disappear, yes these disappear when you make me smile along you as I hear you smile and I believe that these will surely disappear permanently after our formal union; till then I miss you meri nanhi si jaan my sweet young love, like I should have missed when I was fifteen too - I miss you and I miss you because I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you and I more than love you.

If it ceases raining then all will be barren.

Lonelier ever will these farms be,
Oneness never occuring again,
Voracious dry winds will blow,
Even ******* up moisture in air.

Yesterday was so beautiful together,
Oh can't we grow old holding hands,
Understanding love is difficult from far.

Should we not persevere that bit,
Or should this Atul wander lonely?

May you surely meet solace in success,
Understanding your ambition better,
Certainly I'll be standing with you,
H**igher & farther should you aim.

The date was April 3, 2000.
A cool zephyr blew and
I forgot every morning blue,
Right when I saw the angel,
She was so beautiful,
As if a princess, or a fairy,
I was 9 at that time.

She had come down from the hills,
From the Himachali town of Solan,
And she had just come to our school.

I looked at her, and I was dumbstruck.

Her sideways glance,
It was so fascinating,
As if a fairy came down,
From the mountains, I mean,
I can never forget her,
Neither her name,
Nor her harmonious voice.

She became the class monitor,
And I intentionally made a noise,
To get her often talking to me,
Oh I remember everything clearly,
"Atul–Keep quiet!" she'd shout,
And I'd laugh silently, but laugh anyway,
And her nostrils would flare red.

In 2001, I drowned in the infatuation,
Deeper than the Mariana Trench,
Sitting on my school bench.

In 2002, her father expired,
And she was traumatised,
Seeing her sad, I was shocked too,
And she stopped talking to us,
But she always scored well,
Yes, she did score nicely,
And I was inspired.

In 2003, I changed schools,
But in 2005, I met her again,
She gave me her number,
I often used to call her,
Not once did she,
Because she didn't have my number,
Not that her caller ID didn't show it,
But our EPABX number always varied.

In 2007, I confessed to her on a call,
I told her, "I have always loved you,"
And she scolded me without waiting,
"Atul! I never expected this from you."
She continued, "Never call me again!"
I was crestfallen, disappointed, and sad.
I'd have sung my original song had she accepted.

That song I composed for her,
Had come out of my heart.
It was a lyric of my desperation.
And a tune of my romance.
It was a hope of my loneliness.
And a promise of my love.
But she rejected my proposal.

I never called her again, out of respect.
Anyway, I credit her for making me a poet.
I credit her for making me a singer & artist.
But I still love her so deeply, and
So truly that I look for her everywhere,
In every prospective match,
In every passing batch.

These days she's in Chandigarh.

I grow even older,
Every wretched birthday,
I am not contented,
Even I wanted to be Peter,
I want to be Peter Pan,
Never wanting to grow older,
I want to die young,
Not in the decay of old age.

Happy Birthday Atul!

But I have no aim in life,
Have completed 24 years of age,
But not a single person for me,
Who loves my originality,
My real self - the real me.

At first they come,
And then they leave,
They leave behind a scar.

Thornless roses,
Seedless fruits,
Stormless seas,
Calmness fleas,
Landless routes,
Loveless Atul,
Are all unfeasible.

Neither Bland,
Nor Akshant,
Not any other name.
Love me,
Or hate me,
But for I'm Atul.
The Incomparable.

You stand in front of me seeking knowledge of the unknown.

What Door Is Locked, Which Door You Talk About, Atul.

Today I Talk About The Doorway To Heaven,

But Do You Possess The Credibility Even.

This Is A Question - Right?

Yeah, This Is A Question...

Didn't Sound Like One!

Okay, I'm Sorry But You Should Just Answer Me

Heaven is Not a Place Unfamiliar to Me,
The Door was Against the Common Notion
Black.
Heaven is a Place Where Bland Mixtures of Happy,
And Sad Emotions Fly Lightly Through Our Minds
Unfailingly.
Nobody Ever Clearly Remembers of What Heaven Was Like,
I Experienced Heaven in The Peace of My Long Comatose
State.

But Where Did We Miss Out on The Doorway Part??

Be Patient.

Okay, We Would Be...

Good, Now Listen Carefully Without Interrupting Me.
Even Though I Missed My Girlfriend,
More Did I Miss My College Than I Did Her.

You nod your head and say, It's Obvious, Many Guys Feel So.

I shake my head, Not Many Guys Would Feel Exactly The Same & Don't Interrupt Me Please.

Seeing you ready to listen more, I comfort my shoulders to continue,

I Missed The Underprivileged Kids More Than I Missed Her,
I Missed Imparting Them Elementary Education,
I Missed The Feeling of Being Close,
Close To The Door Of Heaven,
Their Houses In The Slum,
The One Close To The College,
Seemed Exactly - Actually Like It,
The Eternal Doorway To Heaven & I Found It,
So Peaceful, Calm And As Much Meaningful To Serve.

I end up my dialogue undisturbed, Yeah, That's The Doorway To Heaven Which I Had Found.

You are running a rapid thought process in your mind, Is That It?

I smile & Reply, Yes That's It, Thank You.

You further ask, But What If We Feel Heavenly Elsewhere, Does It Matter?

This time I nod my head and say, *It Could Be Anywhere You Feel Happy From Your Heart & Free From All Your Doubts About The Reason's Morality.

In the man on top position of loving,
We had the session of love making,
We both were heartily smiling,
We gasp for air while breathing,
Your ******* are heavily heaving,
And as beneath you I am now lying,
You whisper, "Let's change positioning!"

You just sit yourself atop my loving pole,
And as deeper it goes now the tool,
Your voice says silently, "Atul,"
We look like a rider & saddle,
We both will now explode,
We will never forget this love making,
In the woman on top position of loving.

If you think that I shall shy away,
Concede my defeat at their hands,
Then you have never been yourself,
And you have never known Atul,
You have just known your defeat,
If you think that I will let you...

No, I am not a loser in life,
I have such remaining time,
When atrophy won't hurt me,
And death won't do us apart,
You just know my name,
If you had known me, you won't be leaving...

Leaving me in my labyrinthine thoughts,
Of why you left without a good reason,
Why me being so faithful wasn't enough,
Oh how the worldly vices attracted you,
More than I ever could've managed to,
Loving you is the sole motto of my life...

She is from Amritsar,
Home to the Golden Temple,
And a historically important city.

He is from Karnal,
Home for some research,
And Indian Milk Revolution..

She is still innocent,
Drawn to his charming self,
And that too quite righteously...

He is experienced,
Drawn to her innocence,
And is always there for her....

She is very receptive,
Often listens to his advice,
And much to her advantage.....

He is most supportive,
Showing her lighted path,
And so for her is all of him......

Both replace all pairs,
Many poets know of them,
And Mystery-Atul just rejoice.......

Yes, today I tell you about naïvety,
Our bright moments all got faded,
Up high above the sky love took you,
Raze you did my love to ground.

Hardworking is a trait of the naïve,
Escaping is the trait of others.
As innocent they might behave,
They might not be dupable.

Innocent people work dedicatedly,
Not the saying the same for smart ones.

Yelp they often for help,
Often they do so for ease,
Underworking lifelong,
Resting most of the time.

Lies you construed for convenience,
Infinite and uncountable lies,
Fife of carelessness you played,
Especially in your romantic life.

Wish they do for an easy life,
Ill they unintentionally wish for you,
Long they will for an expert,
Lastly they will follow their lazy heart.

Teeming with tears your eyes are left,
An aching heart eventually gives away,
Keen to relax with your love they are,
Eastward or westward escape won't help you.

You will rue your actions one day,
Our memories you might forget,
Unto paradise youth will not come.

Down the whirlpool of memories I sink,
Of your guilt you will also feel bad,
Win my heart you did with your naïvety,
Now you are matured as self-centred.

Taste you will many serums,
Of different people they will be.

Another Atul won't cross your way.

Bringing any friends won't help,
Ringing any relatives won't either,
Of loneliness it will be a big hell,
The dome of love you despise,
Have it your way right now,
Enjoy now when you can,
L*ife will settle scores...