Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Ahmad Attr Nov 2020
1.Island:
I live in a small tropical Island
You’re a city boy and a student for a research
Learner, poet and a beauty from rich land
I live with my tiny family hosting a hotel
You bejeweled rich;  me a wandering peasant
You walk on cobblestones in boots
I, with be bare feet on sand

Fate is bizarre sometimes, how it brought closer
You and me, a start which was already over
You laugh and jest with my family;
asking for another round
I see your silhouette from outside
With buzzing bugs, sitting on a damp ground

And when I sleep, I listen closely to your printer
You type and you type, I wonder what you write
How long will you stay, will you visit again in winter?
when I close my eyes, I can hear your pen on paper
You write and you write poetry about nature
I’ll take you to the bridge in the morning
You won’t find a girl like me in the neighbor
My name is Lily but still don’t know your name
But we haven’t spoken a word so who am I to blame
Know me before I lose my innocence
Because after meeting you, I won’t remain the same
I am doing so much to give you the signs
Is it because I’m decade and a half
And you are twenty-nine

2.Tour:
The breeze here is warm and welcoming
The flowers on sides of dirt road, blossoming
An array of cob houses and then winding paths
Leading towards a mountain, which all pertains
To us passing through a tunnel full of crumbled rocks
At the end of tunnel, there is light that leads to a view,
A vista so beautiful that many artists once sat and drew
Pictures and paintings, wrote poems and songs
But it’s all gone,
See, we are people who believe
Not in gods or goddesses
But in rumors and fallacies
And as you can see in the warning sign
People think it’s a haunted place
But it is secret happy place of mine
I love the tall broken bridge
Leads nowhere, no one knows how it was built
Cracking, collapsing with moss at the fringe
I find beauty in its ancient mystique
Still, silent cemented bricks lingering over the creek
Which leads to the dense forest of green
But I stay here in water so pure and clean
On our way back we had drinks from a lemonade hut
You liked it but it wasn’t enough so you bought a coconut
I know we didn’t talk a bit but;
If you ever get sad a little, or even just a smidge
I’ll be right there standing under the bridge

3.The First Talk
It was a blessed night, when I heard footsteps
Creaking wood sounds, you were getting closer
I got perplexed and jumped out of my bed
You knocked on my door over and over
‘’come in’’ I said in most coquettish tone
It wasn’t a first but this time we felt truly alone
Wearing a turtleneck and hands in your jeans pocket
Glasses resting on your nose, looking down
Perhaps looking for a topic
And then you asked me a question
‘’what does it feel like to live here?’’
‘’terrible, awful, horrific’’ I said with aggression
You kept asking me more and more
I forgot almost all of them because I got lost in your voice
I haven’t heard you like this before
Sitting on floor, I answered everything you asked
Complaining, criticizing this life, throwing fits
And when you were finished you said
‘’you deserve better than this’’
It was over; just so quick
I realized you were just there to tell the whole world
‘’A Day in the Life of an Island School Girl’’




4.Lily
Lily
That’s the name of the girl
who sleeps to sounds of pen fidgeting in your finger
the girl who watches you chewing your food
overthinks every word out of your mouth polite or rude
your room is next to hers but you don’t even know her name
her dreams, her goals, her ambitions, her aims
she’s mad in love perhaps her first time
she’s scared so much she thinks it’s a crime
she’s fragile as the flower she’s named after
she’s stressed and angry but gives out a fake laughter

Lily
Sun-kissed skin, emerald eyes
Braided hair, slender fingers and thighs
Good at nothing but god knows she tries
And once life gets too much
She runs to the creek and alone she cries

Lily
She sees her future in you
When you’re away you don’t want to know the things she’ll do
She lies in your bed and sniffs your clothes but don’t have a clue
You messed up her so bad now she’s writing poetry too
She doesn’t even know your name
Don’t ever hurt her that will be the day you rue

Lily
Say it ‘’L, I, L, Y’’
‘’Lily I Love You’’

5.Touch
you were out one night to gather information for your work,
it was raining cats and dogs,
you came back drenched, with a forced smirk
That night you were ice cold; next day ignited coal
My mother told me to take care of you, I was shaken to my core
We were alone in your room. You rested your head on my lap
My mind was clouded, I became corrupt, sinful and impure

My sweat drenched hand let go of sheet of the bed
I was supposed to put cold towel on your forehead
But I rested my hand on your head


My fingers tied with chastity freed themselves
and twirled your hair; dense, aromatic and sharp
I pressed harder to feel the texture of your scalp

With every passing moment my hands become more liberated
They ventured down your temples to your cheek
A moment I didn’t even know could be awaited
I felt your beard, your rough skin
down to your chin
slid my fingers on the bridge of your nose
I know you weren’t asleep, you were moving you toes

I played romantic acoustic in my own head in this divine moment
If I didn’t do it now, I would always lament
I was frolicking all over your face
In this snafu I tried to slide my hand down your back
But I couldn’t give up my grace
though I did feel the rough skin, like the paper on which you write
I often sneak into your room to read your poetry, I know it’s not right
At this point I don’t know what happened, I was on autopilot
What’d you think of me ‘’***** of the islet’’?

That day you were sick and I was your reliever
To be honest I got hotter than you
Next day you were fine but I had the fever
Wonder what you think of my touch
I just had to do it In a time that wasn’t much




6.His Poetry
(Voices)
A crescendo of voices in my head
I try to etch them down on my slate
Ended up drawing portrait
A young old man caught in a bait
Stuck in his own prison
Forgetting days, forgetting dates
Making wrong choices in life
Blaming the stars, blaming the fates
(Secrets)
I know your secrets, even the ones you never told
Some things are never to be forgotten even when you get old
I try to be nice and kind and giving
But deep inside the abyss of my heart, it is cruel and cold
You try to be pure, pious and clean but;
I know your darkness and the soul you sold
(Escape)
Escaping the vortex of realities
Little Clyde escaped to his ephemeral paradise
Riding the canoe in high seas
Bicycling through the whistling trees
Little Clyde got the life whose existence was once ceased  
Listening to the village folks
Stripping down the façade cloaks
Getting a little less shabby
Not for long but little Clyde was finally happy

7.Death of Summer
The summer was fading away
I felt it in the air, in leaves, in birds and everywhere
Clyde, you were going away
Why did it had to be that way?
That night we were having a fire dance party
The maidens danced around the fire
With elders you had your jasmine tea
I didn’t want to dance to such a tragedy
So you came close to me and invited me
To a last trip to bridge and the creek
we escaped the crowd successfully
and grabbed a bicycle from a street
I perched on the rear and you peddled it
It’s always with you that my mind becomes a blank sheet
So I slowly put my head on your back, on your leather jacket
I put my hands on your waist
You kept on moving your legs, mute
I even tugged on your shirt in all my haste
I could hear
The chains of bicycle, wheezing leaves and the skidding wheels
I could feel
The breeze passing through silk of my skin and hair
A moment so unreal
There we arrived, a magnificent display of fireflies
Maybe they were there too to say their goodbyes
I undid my braids, hair in the air
We maidens do it in front of their selected spouse
How would you know that? Why would you care?
But you did know that didn’t you?
You just chose to be silent
A moment of out of blue
‘’Isn’t it beautiful lily’’ you said
‘’not as pretty as you’’ in my head
Seeing my face flushed red
You asked me about my life’s goal
I said I want to escape, I don’t want to stay here anymore
You said the life of city is dull and grey
That you’ll choose to stay here any day
But life always keeps one at bay
And you’re moving to another country this Wednesday
We talked for hours just me and you
Stupid, immature things
Favourite colours, yours is jade and mine is oceans blue
Embarrassing memories, gossips old and new
Followed by a stagnant moment of silence when we knew
That we have to go back, it’s getting pitch black
It was all silence that night
I couldn’t hear you type
An ambience of sadness, regret, loss and fright
I whispered myself to sleep
‘’Clyde, Clyde, Clyde’’
‘’meet me again under the bridge’’
‘’once again on a bicycle ride’’

8.Letting go of things I never had
Today’s the day you’re going away
Today’s your departure
Devastated from inside out
Your pierced me with arrows like Apollo  the archer
Today it will all end
I will soon get married to my father’s friend
Why can’t I be by your side
Make me your Bonnie, Clyde
I only want you for your love not your riches
I am jealous of your love, you will give to those *******
I can’t let go of you, I never even had you
I won’t say a word to you, I don’t even have to
You knew everything from the start
I never cared for summers and falls
But now I do, never forgetting the summer we fell apart
Just take me, as your exotic slave
I’ll be a nice little girl promise I’ll behave
I want to stand underneath your shade
Take me just take me away

9.Remorse
It’s been five years you’ve been away
I look back and feel abashed thinking of those days
I was so silly
Little dumb lily
However, I still want to leave
Nothing ever changes here, you won’t believe
I am sorry, I must’ve thrown you out
I can’t deny it no doubt
I was in love, not only love, it was lust
Back then it was my first
After you I had many other romances
Nothing too serious just handholds and dances
I wish I spent time with you and not hide in my room
That I got to know you better before the impending doom
Where are you right now?
I hope you are happy and free
I still read your letter, hold it close to my heart
that you once sent to me

10.Yours Truly, Clyde
I’m not going to lie that I felt slightly uneasy
A little girl constantly eyeing me whenever I was busy
And I know that you know that I knew about your agape
But you were the fox and I was the hanging grape
Truth is, I could never imagine you with myself
How could you love me, if you could never love yourself
I’m a tired journalist
Flop poet and mediocre analyst
I also know that you are fond of my forlorn poems
Maybe you are already writing poetry
You were never disgusting to me
your angst nor your coquetry
it is not alright to dismiss
the reality to get the true love’s kiss
and if you ever come to find me
I said it once and I’ll say it again
‘’You deserve better than this’’
A story told in poetry form. This mini-book consists of 10 poems and follows Lily a 15 year old girl and Clyde a 29 year old man.
Àŧùl Apr 2017
^_^
Angel?
In That Moonlit Night Standing In The Abaft,
Watching The Towed Flaccid Wooden Raft,
I Thought That I Saw An Angel Resting,
Lying Exhausted There In That Craft.

I Called The Girl Out Without Knowing Her Name,
"Hey Young Lady!" To Which She Didn't Much Respond,
She Looked Up Towards Me Once In Anguish & Collapsed,
I Thought I Saw Despair In Her Amber Eyes & Must Help Her.

The Crewmen Had Now Been Doing The Paddles After Resting,
I Called My Captain & Asked, "Do You See A Girl In That Raft?"
The Captain Just Replied Kindly, "Commodore, Get Married,"
I Looked Apprehensive And He Just Said, "There's No Girl."

True He Was As She Had Simply Disappeared,
I Started Thinking Of My Sleep Needs That Day,
Looked Around Again In A Hope To Find The Girl,
I Had Compromised My Routine As The Commodore.

Then I Immediately Realized It Was My Wild Phantasm,
Now This Was Just A Plain Illusion Of A Tired Sailor's Mind,
No Mermaids Could Have Ever Existed In Reality & Were Fake,
I Turned Towards The Deck To Go Back To My Bunk For Sleeping.

As I Enter My Room Down The Stairs Amazed & Confused,
She Floated There As She Waited By The Side Of My Bunk,
I Accepted That Delusion Of Hers And Start To Lie Down,
She Said, "I'm As Real As Your Thoughts, Don't Fear Me."

She & I-Me & Her, Had The Best Time That Night,
In The Morning She Was Gone & Was Just Gone,
Disappeared Into Thin Air While I Was Asleep,
Each Day I So Dearly Long For Her To Return.

7 Paragraphs of a Beautiful Open-Eyed Dream


Angel Again?

Now I reached the lands again,
Still dazzled and confused I was,
From the encounter with that Angel,
Oh, how she had filled my twilight,
Unable to forget her divinely touch.

Magical touch had enchanted me,
Able to recall it from the voyage,
I stumbled when disembarking,
Oh, it was the first time for me,
My thoughts would last along.

After so many days at the sea,
I planned of bathing properly,
Her illusion tricked me thereto,
Oh how her traces remained on,
Facing mirror, I stood perplexed.

Still unable to accept the reality,
I longed for that night to repeat,
My heart beats Angel in each beat,
Life staged a drama too crazy,
Unwilling to accept the reality.

My body carries the vestiges,
I turn crazier with each bath,
Her lips' traces keep appearing,
Driving me mad is her memory,
God! Bring her to life once more.

I had my powers as a commodore,
I sent for the captain of my ship,
"What bothers you, my commodore,"
And so he asked of me kindly,
Then I told him of her traces.

Smiling he told me yet again,
"I had told you to get married,"
I agreed this time and nodded,
"Alright, search for me a bride,"
Going outside, he smiled plainly.


Angel Surely?

Till Few Months Of Reaching Back,
I Kept Seeing Her Images All Over,
It Drove Me Crazy Her Presence...

Taking Time Out To Search Her Out,
I Went For The Mountainous Path,
It May Cease I Hope These Dreams.

The Horse Made Me Look A Knight,
I Set Out Solo For The Dark Creeks,
It Helped Me Realize My Solo Aim...

Then She Came Into My View Again,
I Prepared For Tackling My Illusion,
It Started Snowing Out Of Nowhere.

Took Me To A Safer Place She Then,
I Was Bewildered Again Once More,
It Was Clearing But She Vanished...

Then On My Way, I Stopped To Rest,
I Looked Around For A Place To Sit,
It Came To My View A Huge Tavern.

Tavern On A Mountain Was Weird,
I Still Went To It Hoping Some Rest,
It Had Appeared Out Of Nowhere...


Angel Illusion?

I Peered Out Of The Room Windows,
I Was In This Desolate Guesthouse,
It Was A Comfortable Rest House,
And Here I Was In Anticipation,
Angel Or Whosoever Was Awaited,
Will She Pop Into My Vision Here Too,
Was It Only A Seasick Mind's Illusion?

Was All That Really Just An Illusion,
Thinking This I Prepared For Bed,
Then I Felt A Flute Was Playing,
Looked Into Sound's Direction,
All I Saw Then Was Foggy Night,
My Own Reflection Was Also Visible,
Slightly If Not Entirely Can Be Seen.

I Recalled The First Night At The Sea,
She Did Appear On The Towed Raft,
A Beautiful Mermaid I Had Seen,
Now I Did Remember It Clearly,
My Face Was No Longer Mine,
Yes It Was The Beautiful face of hers,
She Wasn't Sad As I Did Remember.

She Was Smiling So Very Divinely,
Her Brown Eyes Stared So Cutely,
More Divine Felt She Was Really,
I Thought That It Was So Early,
My Pocket Watch Showed Three,
I Took My Eyes Off And Went To Bed,
Then & There She Was Lying For Me.

I Again Let My Mind Play Games,
Never Did Imagine Turning Mad,
Now I Was Not Feeling As Bad,
Neither I Wanted To Break It,
Nor It Felt Like One Anymore,
This Was The Dream I Loved To Live,
As If The Boon Was Presented To Me.

She Smiled As I Sat On The Bed,
I Asked Her, "Are You Real?"
"Yes, Just As Your Thoughts,"
I Then Just Stared At Her Lips,
She Then Touched Me Again,
Hands As Soft As That Night At Sea,
I Just Felt Like Opposing Her Touch.

I Blankly Smiled And Thought,
'My Thoughts Are Surely Real,'
Then I Just Let Her Guide Me,
The Moon Shone So Bright,
It Just Felt Really So Very Right,
Resigning I Just Let My Illusion Win,
It's Love We Were Sharing, Not A Sin.


Angel Not Again!!!

I recovered from the night again,
She had disappeared once more,
Was she using me as a ******???

I was frustrated & also saddened,
My self-control got strengthened,
For I was not a tissue to be used!!!

I have my feelings & my emotions,
Presence and absence torture me,
Ego I had tamed got hurt by now...

I won't let that elusive Angel come,
Questioning I must be her realities,
Illusions will end this time finally!!!

I'll establish an identity of my own,
Dependent I'll not be on the angel,
Was she only a dream & no more???

I had duly asked the aged captain,
To search for a lovely bride very soon,
Oh, so sure I am about afterwards...

I was tailed by the spirit-like angel,
So irritated by her dreary dreams,
On-off, came-gone, again & again!!!

I now would learn to catch angels,
With the plan, I went to the mage,
Should I now learn some spells???

I entered through a dark alleyway,
Was told to visit this strange place,
What comes across - I wondered...

I knocked on the door & she appeared,
Very young she seemed to me now,
Just the age of the angel of dreams!!!

I noticed that she wore a long robe,
So shiny it was silvery like her hair,
Just like the angel of dreams wore...

I rubbed my tired eyes in disbelief,
"Who're you?" I asked very loudly,
"Are you the mage's daughter???"

I wondered for long & she replied,
"Your guess is correct, kind Sailor,"
She beckoned me into the shack...

I set my foot on the wooden floor,
I looked for any sign of the mage,
I want to be set free of the cage!!!

I just thought & thought about it,
But the witch was not to be seen,
Curious I asked, "Where is she???"

"I am my mother," she said calmly,
Perplexed I couldn't say a thing,
My mouth opened once & shut...

I was now about to rise & go away,
But she stopped me with her arms,
"I must show you," so she did say!!!

I did not believe what my eyes saw,
How she changed into the old mage,
Then back into her own daughter???

O I had become confused a lot now,
Why would she transform like this,
I feared if it was actually the angel...


Angel Forever?

Seeing me anxious more than a lot,
The old witch relented a little,
She let me breathe freely,
Back transformed into her daughter,
She touched my forehead,
Then I realized it was sweaty,
Seeing her lovely care I smiled a bit.

So she now lit up a fragrant incense,
The incense seemed so soothing,
She then edged closer to me,
Transcendental wings were visible,
She came even closer to me,
Then the wings simply vanished,
So traceless as if never been there.

It must have been another illusion,
The very day I had set sail to sea,
It was probably carrying over,
Troubling me each non and then,
In my wild dreams, I had seen,
True she could not be & was not,
In my life, the torment was written.

Soon I was pleading to her teary-eyed,
"Please don't torment me, it hurts!"
She looked at me with affection,
And said, "But I truly love you, sailor,"
She advanced forwards further,
"Have you forgotten all those nights?
Did you even forget the night at sea?"

I first remembered that night at sea,
The night back at home came next,
I had been seduced by her magic,
This was the real picture every time,
I was weak but I still felt warmer,
The night ship feels like yesterday,
I was in confusion about what to do.

Her face was transitioning rapidly,
The old mother to her daughter,
Her daughter to that very angel,
And back to the old mother witch,
Her smile turned into laughter,
The witch laughing at my cries,
Her face here was contorted a lot.

She seemed to be struggling a lot,
As though fight ensued within,
Soon I figured it out by myself,
First I must **** the witch to help,
So I looked around & grabbed,
The axe that I did spot lying there,
Spot on I killed the witch right then.


Angel Ultimately?
The saga in her eyes converts into a constant downpour soon after she realized her freedom from the spell of the dark witch, the curse had turned her a prisoner in the evil witch's body.

"Kind sailor thank thee for freeing me."
Her words reverberating throughout,
What wind - what land - what sea,
Everywhere is her presence as I can see,
The wind whispers her name in my ear,
Since a long long time now all I wear,
Is her scent in my immortalized memory.

"Will you stay with me forever, or,
Will you go back to the heavens?"
Though I really wanted her to stay,
I love her and realize what she felt,
I offered her freedom and a choice,
I was not binding her to me in turn,
Everything was instinctive for me.

She seemed in a serious dilemma,
Struggling hard she was in herself,
I again offered & insisted this time,
"It's better you went back to your world,"
But I knew that she loved me a lot,
She tried hard controlling but said,
"I am in love with you for long."

So I am quite right that she loves me,
I am sure even she can forget me not,
Beading all our memories together,
I now know how I can gain salvation,
Not being another self-centric tantric,
"But you don't belong here dear,
So you shouldn't restrict yourself."

After this, she now looks comfortable & composed,
Ready for making a choice she wore a heart of stone,
Her lips slowly parted revealing a perfect smile,
Pearly smile again ensured me of permanent happiness,
Bright eyes and shiny eyelids of hers seemed so good,
"You can't make me stay away because you love me too,
I will keep coming in your dreams and entice your nights."

But I wanted her in my real-world now,
I prevented her from vanishing again,
I said, "Please stay, now do not go away,
Because I really can not bear that pain,"
She had almost vanished by then,
Listening to my words she chose to wait,
She said, "Even I want forever to stay."

Continuing with her divine dialogue she said,
"Say those golden words to make me stay,"
I immediately confessed, "I love you, Angel,"
"Say you love me too, oh my divine Angel,"
She didn't wait for anything more to say it,
"I love you too, oh my kind & loving sailor,"
Her powers soon left her in a flash of light.
On public demand, I clubbed The "Angel?" Series into one poem.
Àŧùl Jan 2020
XOXOXOX
Angel?
In That Moonlit Night Standing In The Abaft,
Watching The Towed Flaccid Wooden Raft,
I Thought That I Saw An Angel Resting,
Lying Exhausted There In That Craft.

I Call The Girl Out Unbeknownst Of Her Kind Name,
"Hey Young Lady!!" To Which She Doesn't Much Respond,
She Looks Up Towards Me Once In Anguish & Collapsed,
I Spot Desperation In Amber Eyes & Resolve To Help Her.

The Crewmen Had Now Been Doing The Paddles After Resting,
I Summon My Captain & Ask, "Do You See That Girl In The Raft?"
The Captain Now Smiles To Say, "Commodore, Better Get Married,"
I Look So Clueless To Which He Simply Replied, "There Is No Girl."

True He Was As She Had Simply Disappeared,
I Started Thinking Of My Sleep Needs That Day,
I Looked Around Again In A Hope To Find The Girl,
I Had Compromised My Routine As The Commodore.

Then I Immediately Realized It Was My Wild Phantasm,
Now This Was Just A Plain Illusion Of A Tired Sailor's Mind,
No Mermaids Could Have Ever Existed In Reality & Were Fake,
I Turned Towards The Deck To Go Back To My Bunk For Sleeping.

As I Climbed Down The Stairs To Enter My Room Amazed & Dazed,
I Saw Her Standing And Waiting For Me By The Side Of My Bunk,
I Accepted That Delusion Of My Mind & Started To Lie Down,
She Said, "I'm As Real As Your Thoughts, Don't Fear Me."

She & I-Me & Her, Had The Best Time That Night,
In The Morning She Was Gone & Was Just Gone,
Disappeared Into Thin Air While I Was Asleep,
Each Day I So Dearly Long For Her To Return.
7 Stanzas of a Beautiful Open-Eyed Dream
My HP Poem #19
©Atul Kaushal

Angel Again?
Now I Reached The Lands Again,
Still Dazzled And Confused I Was,
Oh How She Had Filled My Twilight,
Unable To Forget Her Divinely Touch.

Magical Touch Had Enchanted Me,
Able To Recall It From The Voyage,
I Stumbled When Disembarking,
Oh - It Was The First Time For Me,
My Thoughts Would Last Along.

After So Many Days At The Sea,
I Planned Of Bathing Properly,
Her Illusion Tricked Me Thereto,
Oh - How Her Traces Remained On,
Facing The Mirror, I Stood Perplexed.

Still Unable To Accept The Reality,
I Longed For That Night To Repeat,
My Heart Beats Angel In Each Beat,
Life Staged A Drama Too Crazy,
Unwilling To Accept The Reality.

My Body Carries The Vestiges,
I Turn Crazier With Each Bath,
Her Lips' Traces Keep Appearing,
Driving Me Mad Is Her Memory,
God! Bring Her To Life Once More.

I Had My Powers As A Commodore,
I Sent For The Captain Of My Ship,
"What Bothers You, My Commodore,"
And So He Asked Of Me Kindly,
Then I Told Him About Her Traces.

Smiling He Told Me Yet Again,
"I Had Told You To Get Married,"
I Agreed This Time And Nodded,
"Alright, Search For Me A Bride,"
Going Outside, He Smiled Plainly.
My HP Poem #766
©Atul Kaushal

Angel Surely?
Till Few Months Of Reaching Back,
I Kept Seeing Her Images All Over,
It Drove Me Crazy, Her Presence...

Taking Time Out To Search Her Out,
I Went For The Mountainous Path,
It May Cease I Hope These Dreams.

The Horse Made Me Look A Knight,
I Set Out Solo For The Dark Creeks,
It Helped Me Realize My Solo Aim...

Then She Came Into My View Again,
I Was Prepared For Tackling My Illusion,
It Started Snowing Out Of Nowhere.

Took Me To A Safer Place She Then,
I Was Bewildered Again Once More,
It Was Clearing But She Vanished...

Then On My Way I Stopped To Rest,
I Looked Around For A Place To Sit,
It Came To My View A Huge Tavern.

Tavern On A Mountain Was Weird,
I Still Went To It Hoping Some Rest,
It Had Appeared Out Of Nowhere...
My HP Poem #839
©Atul Kaushal

Angel Illusion?
I Peered Out Of The Room Windows,
I Was In This Desolate Guesthouse,
It Was A Comfortable Rest House,
And Here I Was In Anticipation,
Angel Or Whosoever Was Awaited,
Will She Pop Into My Vision Here Too,
Was It Only A Seasick Mind's Illusion?

Was All That Really Just An Illusion,
Thinking This I Prepared For Bed,
Then I Felt A Flute Was Playing,
Looked Into Sound's Direction,
All I Saw Then Was Foggy Night,
My Own Reflection Was Also Visible,
Slightly If Not Entirely Can Be Seen.

I Recalled The First Night At The Sea,
She Did Appear On The Towed Raft,
A Beautiful Mermaid I Had Seen,
Now I Did Remember It Clearly,
My Face Was No Longer Mine,
Yes It Was The Beautiful face of hers,
She Wasn't Sad As I Did Remember.

She Was Smiling So Very Divinely,
Her Brown Eyes Stared So Cutely,
More Divine Felt She Was Really,
I Thought That It Was So Early,
My Pocket Watch Showed Three,
I Took My Eyes Off And Went To Bed,
Then & There She Was Lying For Me.

I Again Let My Mind Play Games,
Never Did Imagine Turning Mad,
Now I Was Not Feeling As Bad,
Neither I Wanted To Break It,
Nor It Felt Like One Anymore,
This Was The Dream I Loved To Live,
As If The Boon Was Presented To Me.

She Smiled As I Sat On The Bed,
I Asked Her, "Are You Real?"
"Yes, Just As Your Thoughts,"
I Then Stared At Her Lips,
She Then Touched Me Again,
Hands As Soft As That Night At Sea,
I Just Felt Like Opposing Her Touch.

I Blankly Smiled And Thought,
'My Thoughts Are Surely Real,'
Then I Just Let Her Guide Me,
The Moon Shone So Bright,
It Just Felt Really So Very Right,
Resigning I Just Let My Illusion Win,
It's Love We Were Sharing, Not A Sin.
My HP Poem #848
©Atul Kaushal

Angel Not Again!!!
I Recovered From The Night Again,
She Had Disappeared Once More,
Was She Using Me As A ******???

I Was Frustrated & Also Saddened,
My Self-Control Got Strengthened,
For I Was Not A Tissue To Be Used!!!

I Have My Feelings & My Emotions,
Presence And Absence Torture Me,
Ego I Had Tamed Got Hurt By Now...

I Won't Let That Elusive Angel Come,
Questioning I Must Be Her Realities,
Illusions Will End This Time Finally!!!

I'll Establish An Identity Of My Own,
Dependent I'll Not Be On The Angel,
Was She Just A Dream & No More???

I Had Duly Asked The Aged Captain,
To Search For Me A Lovely Bride Soon,
Oh, So Sure I Am About Afterwards...

I Was Tailed By The Spirit-Like Angel,
So Irritated By Her Dreary Dreams,
On-Off, Came-Gone, Again & Again!!!

I Now Would Learn Catching Angels,
With The Plan, I Went To The Mage,
Should I Now Learn Some Spells???

I Entered Through A Dark Alleyway,
Was Told To Visit This Strange Place,
What Comes Across - I Wondered...

I Knocked The Door & She Seemed,
Very Young She Seemed To Me Now,
Just The Age Of The Angel Of Dreams!!!

I Noticed That She Wore A Long Robe,
So Shiny It Was Silvery Like Her Hair,
Just Like The Angel Of Dreams Wore...

I Rubbed My Tired Eyes In Disbelief,
"Who're You?" I Asked Very Loudly,
"Are You The Mage's Daughter???"

I Wondered For Long & She Replied,
"Your Guess Is Correct, Kind Sailor,"
She Beckoned Me Into The Shack...

I Set My Foot On The Wooden Floor,
I Looked For Any Sign Of The Mage,
I Want To Be Set Free Of The Cage!!!

I Just Thought & Thought About It,
But The Witch Was Not To Be Seen,
Curious I Asked, "Where Is She???"

"I Am My Mother," She Said Calmly,
Perplexed I Couldn't Say A Thing,
My Mouth Opened Once & Shut...

I Was Now About To Rise & Go Away,
But She Stopped Me With Her Arms,
"I Must Show You," So She Did Say!!!

I Believed Not What My Eyes Saw,
How She Changed Into The Old Mage,
Then Back Into Her Own Daughter???

O I Had Become Confused A Lot Now,
Why Would She Transform Like This,
I Feared If It Was Actually The Angel...
My HP Poem #850
©Atul Kaushal

Angel Forever?
Seeing Me Anxious More Than A Lot,
The Old Witch Relented A Little,
She Let Me Breathe Freely,
Back Transformed Into Her Daughter,
She Touched My Forehead,
Then I Realized It Was Sweaty,
Seeing Her Lovely Care I Smiled A Bit.

So She Now Lit Up A Fragrant Incense,
The Incense Seemed So Soothing,
She Then Edged Closer To Me,
Transcendental Wings Were Visible,
She Came Even Closer To Me,
Then The Wings Simply Vanished,
So Traceless As If Never Been There.

It Must Be Yet Another Illusion,
The Very Day I Set Sail To Sea,
It Was Probably Carrying Over,
Troubling Me Each Non & Then,
In My Wild Dreams, I Had Seen,
True She Could Not Be & Was Not,
In My Life, The Torment Was Written.

Soon I Was Pleading To Her, Teary-Eyed,
"Please Don't Torment Me, It Hurts!"
She Looked At Me With Affection,
And said, "But I truly love you, sailor,"
She advanced forwards further,
"Have you forgotten all those nights?
Did you even forget the night at sea?"


I First Remembered That Night At Sea,
The Night Back At Home Came Next,
I Had Been Seduced By Her Magic,
This Was The Real Picture Every Time,
I Was Weak But I Still Felt Warmer,
The Night Ship Feels Like Yesterday,
I Was In Confusion About What To Do.

Her Face Was Transitioning Rapidly,
The Old Mother To Her Daughter,
Her Daughter To That Very Angel,
And Back To The Old Mother Witch,
Her Smile Turned Into Laughter,
The Witch Laughing At My Cries,
Her Face Here Contorted A Lot.

She Seemed To Struggle A Lot,
As Though A Fight Ensued Within,
Soon I Figured It Out By Myself,
That I Must **** The Witch To Help,
So I Looked Around & Grabbed,
An Axe That I Spotted Lying There,
Spot on I killed the witch right then.
My HP Poem #859
©Atul Kaushal

Angel Ultimately?
The saga in her eyes converts into a constant downpour soon after she realizes her freedom from the spell of the dark witch, the curse had turned her a prisoner in the evil witch's body.

"Kind Sailor Thank Thee For Freeing Me."
Her Words Reverberate Throughout,
What Wind - What Land - What Sea,
Everywhere Is Her Presence As I See,
The Wind Whispers Her Name In My Ear,
Since A Long-Long Time Now All I Wear,
Her Scent Is Immortalized In My Memory.

"Will You Stay With Me Forever, Or,
Will You Go Back To The Heavens?"

Though I really wanted her to stay,
I Love Her & Realize What She Felt,
I Offered Her Freedom & A Choice,
I Was Not Binding Her To Me In Turn,
Everything Was Instinctive For Me.

She Seemed In A Serious Dilemma,
Struggling Hard She Was In Herself,
I Again Offered & Insisted This Time,
"It's Better To Go Back To Your World,"
But I Knew That She Loved Me Too,
She Tried Hard Controlling But Said,
"I Am In Love With You Since Long."

So I Am Quite Right That She Loves Me,
I Am Sure Even She Can Forget Me Not,
Beading All Our Memories Together,
I Now Know How I Can Gain Salvation,
Not Being Another Self-Centric Tantric,
"But You Don't Belong Here, Dear Angel,
You Shouldn't Torture Yourself For A Mortal."


After This, She Now Looks Comfortable & Composed,
Ready For Making A Choice She Wore A Heart Of Stone,
Her Lips Slowly Parted Revealing A Perfect Smile,
Pearly Smile Again Ensured Me Of Permanent Happiness,
Bright Eyes & Shiny Eyelids Of Hers Seemed So Good,
"You Can't Make Me Stay Away Because You Love Me Too,
I'll Keep Coming To Your Dreams & Entice Your Nights."


But I Wanted Her In My Real World Now,
I Prevented Her From Vanishing Again,
I Said, "Please Stay, Now Do Not Go Away,
Because I Really Can Not Bear The Pain,"

She Had Almost Vanished By Now,
Listening To My Words She Chose To Wait,
She Said, "Even I Want Forever To Stay."

Continuing With Her Divine Dialogue She Said,
"Say Those Golden Words To Make Me Stay,"
I Immediately Confessed, "I Love You, Angel,"
"Say You Love Me Too, Oh My Divine Angel,"
She Didn't Wait For Anything More To Say It,
"I Love You Too, Oh My Kind & Loving Sailor,"
Her Powers Soon Left Her In A Flash Of Light.
My HP Poem #860
©Atul Kaushal
I was suggested to put together all these related poems by my friends, readers and mentors.
My HP Poem #1822
©Atul Kaushal

https://hellopoetry.com/collection/13567/the-angel-saga/
Matthew Sutton Jul 2018
“You are not an artist.
You are not an artist.”

        What photos must I shoot
        How many cigarettes must I smoke

It is scary, but - I want to embody the things which destroy minds

Summer vibes feel like radiation

Use this alcohol to eradicate
The proposition - that I will be ‘okay’

My phone is on airplane mode

My ambition is floating - as a feather might -
Down to the depths

I cannot finish my own sentences

Bury my expectation with my religion

        And it’s funny
        Because I have resolved my mind to avoid romantic
        confrontation
        But, alas - I do day-dream
        Of a girl’s face & hair - for it has appeared in my dreams four
        times
        And I awake to Deja-Vu as her face appears in conscious
        frames
So…

I can imagine & I can see, but - they have become one in the same
Could not fantasize asking
Your hand in mine

Oh how I wish to cry
To sob in any light so long as you are in sight
Someone to reassure me, that - yes
“There is an end to the night.”

But I cannot. I suppress it in drives. In music videos. In writing. In self-speaking when I have only me to keep company.

Kick me off the team.
I do not know what I need.
If I could lead, as I once did.

But I have left concern in the refrigerator
With empty bottles & cans
Maybe I will return tomorrow to salvage the cents of my malleable integrity  
Won’t you reliquinish me of it ?

For I have sipped the poison of honesty
Regretfully it tastes like honey
Lustful - Fleeting - Sugary - Intoxicating
Chloe Nov 2017
"Sometimes the people we're close with aren't meant to be our lovers; that's what ruins it. I guess that's pretty sad, too."

"You are so lovely and I am such a mess. But you love me, and that is enough for me."

"I don't see the point in waking up if I'm not waking up next to you."

"I crave kissing you the way people craving drugs. I am addicted to you."

"You are what is on my mind when I am drunk and alone."

"I still think about her and it ******* kills because if she were to talk to me, I would talk back in a heart beat."

"Self destructive people do self destructive things, babe."

"Sometimes I wish I killed myself before I started getting better because now that I'm better, I live in the fear of getting bad again."

"And if you hear me talk about her now, you won’t believe me when I tell you that I was in love with her. Even the thought of her makes me want to *****."
Some quotes that I have written but don't have any poetry to put them in. So,  for now they will be riding solo in this compilation post. I hope you don't mind and I hope you can relate to some of them.
pugh Jun 2016
You were a shepherd
Someone I followed incontestably
Someone I trusted to guide me to safety

You were a new pasture
Someone far off that I thought would be different
You had a wolf hiding in the bushes

-

"Anywhere but here" is what was on your mind
The thing is, I'm still here
Your dreams had no intention of including me in them

You were boarding planes and driving far away
I was boring and driving to coffee shops
I just couldn't hold your interest

You had bigger things on your mind
You didn't bother to ask what was on my mind
I think you would have found
Some common ground

-

I fell to the riverbed having fallen for you
You had already pulled your feet out of the water

You stayed on the dock of disenchantment
While I touched the bottom of disillusionment

-

I've never said a word to you I didn't mean
You never meant a single word you said to me
I can't blame you for it though,
Transparency, of words and of heart, has gotten me nowhere

You meant everything you said, except I lost it all in transmission
And I found myself making up the messages I missed

-

You were summer
Sepia stained, longer than it felt like, innocent and sweet

You were fall
Starved of warmth, not long enough,  the moments leading to a freeze

-

Before you, I didn't know how to feel
After you, I never wanted to feel again
ahmo Apr 2016
Wise women and men who have written books have always told me to focus on the light pouring from stars that kindle constellations,
but my eyes refuse to ignore every single bottle cap from the thousands of beer cans I've torn off out of a fear that I'll always scratch the backs of those who need it and that no one will ever return the favor.

My hurricanes will make no difference if the forest has already burned to the ground,
but moving my eyes upward into a sea of stars has been dulled by a neck brace that you embraced boldly when you broke every jar in the cabinet and didn't even think about helping me clean up this mess that turned my dreams into a reality where I wanted to learn from those that have read books and affixed my eyes to the constellations you gave me right here on Earth.

One day,
the thousands of metallic memorabilia reminding me of every hair I ripped out of my head over shattered glass will transform into seeds that will fertilize a field and yield a forest that anyone who ever needs tree for shelter can fall asleep within and dream about love without strings attached or knives in their backs.

I've removed your blade and recycled it,
transforming the blood from my spine into the stars that hold hands with all of the other bright lights composed of the pain that has defined your lives and then helped you shine in a constellation full of flowers blooming from fractured hearts.

We will watch from the treetops,
together.
ZT Oct 2015
I am a monster

Though I am a being who dwells in the light
My body is but a hollow shell
And that is my plight

You can cut me up
But darkness just spills over
And I get right back up

I am a monster

I feel nothing
So I feed on anything
Everything

I feed on love
To color my insides with *red

To have that emotion about *passion

Playing with fire on your bed

I feed on sadness
With side dishes of pity and loneliness
To color my insides with shades of blue
Alone stuck in forever
Like glue

I feed on youth
With a touch of innocence
Like the feeling of pink
When a simple wink
Can turn into a strong link

I feed on betrayal
The core of revenge and heartache
Like the serene color of deep green
Tainted with muddy brown just like the lake
Rained down upon
By seemingly harmless drops
Then turns to a knife

I feed on happiness
Like a bright yellow sun
Mixed with with a fruity essence
Of orange
To have that smile as bright as the sun
And as sweet as an orange

I feed on regret and disgust
Violet and indigo
Like a feeling after
You have let lust
Take over

And i drink from the tears
Shed by feeling this emotions
Like a crystal clear diamond
A precious gem from such hardness
Then sparkles, shines bright. Even the brightest

But at the end of the day
I feed on anything, everything
And everything just turns into nothing
Swallowed by the darkness in me
A monster inside me

And that monster is **me
Color of a monster complete
XIII Jun 2015
Oh my darling,
your beauty comes in many shapes.

You are the Sunset;
you are the beauty before the darkness.

You are the Moon;
you are the beauty in the darkness.

You are the Sunrise;
you are the beauty before the mourning.

You are the Rainbow;
you are the beauty after the rain.
Compilation of my 10w poems, Sunset, Moon, Sunrise and Rainbow about beauty.
All I wanted was to be with you and suffer every day
There are no flowers on your grave
Willing to die and I will, after you for what I believe
Life betrays, but I keep going
And as long as I'm alive I won't be free
'Cause on time fate calls out to us.

In my dreams I can hold you, and I wake so alone
It's not too late for me
Things I must die for
Soon I'll be knocking at your door.

Walk me across the water
Shine your light, be the beacon of hope at night.

There's no time to waste
Our quest will last forever
Two hearts should meet
The wheels are in motion, together we turn them.
Am I losing all track of time?

Free to the end
It's a hard won place of mystery.

Realize our full potential
How can we ignite the flame while missing the true spark?

Gravity is finally giving in
Down to the detail
It's meant to be, I see the signs
Pictures of something we lived.

If you follow the flame you end up in the dark.

Let's imagine this beautiful paradise before us rise
Endless, our dreams carry on
Living in our hearts
Some say it's like autumn breeze
The night will be our day
Far beyond reality
And I wish the sun would slip away
Will it make me see?

I breathe as hard as you as I end my day
Now forever falling down.

Whatever dreams we're reaching to claim
Twist and shake
It will never come back again.
Inspired by "Life Story" from David Shields.
Next page