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1d · 117
What matters
Beauty matters
and matters more
amongst the monstrous.

Remember that the monstrous
will always be with us
and so will beauty, just so long
as you continue to see it
and seeing it, you recreate it
carefully, beautifully,
because you know it matters.
1d · 36
Faith
Faith is a choice
Not a compulsion
Not a feeling
It's a decision
And it has to be made
by you.
So make it.
3d · 55
Saint George
Saint George is an englishman
Who never came to England
Born in ancient Turkey
Fighting for the Romans

Saint George is an englishman
Who never met a dragon
Willing to be martyred
Killed for saintly passions

Saint George is an englishman
Adopted as our own
Our nation full of mongrels
Imports a classic hero
It's St George's Day in England today.
3d · 37
Swiftie
I met a tortured poet
In sequins and despair
Her torture was unusual
She's now a billionaire.
Reading about Taylor Swifts new album, The Tortured Poets Department.
Apr 18 · 65
Run and Fight.
Steve Page Apr 18
One stride at a time
One push at a time
One lap at a time

And when the climb is steep
when you feel like
you're losing ground,
then every stride,
every push, every lap
that leaves you in the race
takes you to your prize

And every time you stumble
only to regain your feet
that is a victory that is worthy
of your team captain
our captain, Jesus.

One step at a time
One blow at a time
One round at a time

And when life throws
all it has at you,
all at one time,
then every step
every blow, every round
that leaves you in the fight
takes you to your prize

And every time you hit the canvas
only to beat the count
that is a victory that is worthy
of your champion,
our champion, Jesus.

And we will not be disqualified
from the prize.
------
1 Corinthians 9:
24. Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. 27. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. - NIV
Apr 9 · 88
Joys found
Steve Page Apr 9
Where's your joy?
Where have you found it?
If it's not there before you
turn your face to it.

Where's your joy?
Are you able to grasp it?
If it's not within reach
take steps towards it.

Where's your joy?
And are you enjoying it?
Life's worth the effort
for the joy found within it.
Life is too short.
Apr 6 · 146
Soar
Steve Page Apr 6
Lord, keep us dreaming
Remembering your faithfulness
Believing, looking for more
Keep us singing
Ready to soar
Joel 2.28
Zechariah 8.8
Is 43.19  Is 42.9
Is 42.10.  44.23
Is 40.31
Apr 6 · 154
What's to come?
Steve Page Apr 6
As a kid, was I
as accomplished a storyteller
as I remember?
Did I truly evade consequence?
As an adult, was it a little similar?

Is it just me?  
Or lately have I found more truth?
Do the stories seem to you
to be intertwined with unexpected twists?
Do they immerse you,
despite their incompleteness?
Do you find that this gives space
for imagination, for permission
for grace to flower?
Are you surprised by the colour?
Does the sweetness of the fragrance
stagger you as it does me?

Have I always been a storyteller?
A teller of stories?
And are they really unfinished?
Is there more fragrance to come?
I was reminded of the power of questions and so wrote this version of the previous poem (Story To Come).
Apr 5 · 66
story to come
Steve Page Apr 5
As a kid I was an accomplished storyteller
an evader of consequence.
As an adult it was a little similar,

but lately, I’ve found more story with truth
intertwined with unexpected twists,
and immersive but unfinished narratives,

which gave space for imagination,
for permission for grace to flower
in familiar but unexpected colour.

And sweet fragrance.

I have always been a storyteller.
A teller of my stories.
And they’re unfinished,

with more fragrance to come.
Apr 1 · 102
Ripples
Steve Page Apr 1
I can’t reach you, you far off,
you unborn, you yet to come.
I can’t reach you, touch you.
converse and engage you.
I can’t reach you, embrace you,
you beholders beyond my borders.
But my love invested,
my ripples,
in time, just might.
After Rob Mckelvey’s workshop: Cultivating a hundred-year vision.
Mar 31 · 136
Perspectives
Steve Page Mar 31
Immediate or infinite.
A different perspective as I look down at my feet and then up to the next bend in the road, if not out to the distant horizon.

Immediate and infinite.
I hold both in my hands and in my heart. Both guide my path.

Immediate and infinite.
My God has made them beautiful and is Lord of both.
after Ecclesiastes  3: 9-15
Mar 28 · 259
Endurance fathering
Steve Page Mar 28
Fathering involves running,
reaching out at full stretch,
as they get to the edge

Fathering involves running
close and distant alongside
a first bike ride

Fathering involves running
meeting them more than halfway
to reduce the faraway

Fathering involves running
to more accurately display
a father’s love
that will not go away

Fathering is being ready to run
all day
revisitingthis as a grandfather
Mar 26 · 75
True friend
Steve Page Mar 26
May you find a true friend when walking alone
May you find someone there to embrace
May you find deeper joy than you've tasted before
May you offer more love than you've faced

May you dampen your haste to self criticise
May you find the off-switch to self-doubt
May you recognise when you're just talking *****
and tell all your demons to get out

May you give more time for self celebration
May you find more inside to love
May you recognise more of your God-given beauty
and see gifts to be truly proud of

When you don't echo lies you're hearing from others
When you speak more of truth instead
That's when you begin to live life again
and you're ready to enjoy what's ahead.
Lessons from therapy
Mar 26 · 80
What violence
Steve Page Mar 26
What weight do you hold?
When will you weary from the holding?
What form will the release take?
How long will the cascade flow before it is spent?

And then, how long before
the reservoir needs release once more?
We all need an outlet for frustration and anger.  The psalms is full of it.
Mar 23 · 134
Road
Steve Page Mar 23
wiper beat
indicator rhythm
steady hum
of tarmac
together speak truth,
comfort and song
wise beyond words
miles from home
while the beat sinks in
and we drive on
The hypnosis of a car drive
Mar 22 · 135
Temples
Steve Page Mar 22
When we offer
a sacrifice of praise,
our lives as living psalters,
are our hearts altered?
Watching the movie, Mary Magdelene
Mar 21 · 103
Parakeets
Steve Page Mar 21
The flash of parakeets in the rain,
in darkest Ealing,
raise heavy souls away
from the drizzle,
up from the road
long enough to gift
a memorable
collision.
Things you see on  Sunday morning
Mar 17 · 360
For The Joys
Steve Page Mar 17
(Hebrews 12.2 – expanded version)

"…looking to Jesus,
the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him...

For the JOY of following his father's will
For the JOY of offering us salvation

For the JOY of putting an end to death
For the JOY of his promised resurrection

For the JOY of ascending to his Father
For the JOY of sending the Spirit of truth

For the JOY of commissioning disciple makers
For the JOY of preparing many rooms

For the JOY of planning his wedding feast
For the JOY of coming for his bride

For the JOY of gifting the water of life
For the JOY of drinking kingdom wine

For all these JOYS set before him,

…Jesus endured the cross,
despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

where nothing will rob him of these JOYS.
A poem for Good Friday
Mar 11 · 144
Sheep
Steve Page Mar 11
We’re all called to be sheep
watching the staff
held by the shepherd
led by his laughs.

We’re all called to be sheep
some lambs, some rams
the flock flows together
bearing God’s brand.

We’re all called to be sheep
some to be shepherds
I’m a little of both
both serving and served.
Credit to Kevin, Stephan and the rest of the meet up at the Hub these past few weeks.
Mar 11 · 42
Blackfen, 1976
Steve Page Mar 11
Our biscuits were in tupperware
Sealed tight but not tight enough
Digestives and custard creams
Slowly got stale and soft.

Our biscuits were in tupperware
Bought in bulk, a cheap job lot
Garibaldis and dry rich teas
Tea-dunked to hit the spot.

Our biscuits were in tupperware
Mum was a tupperware lady
Biscuits, cakes and crackers
Stored to last til pay day.
Happy childhood
Mar 9 · 78
I See You
Steve Page Mar 9
I see you there, looking for me.
I see you; do you see me?
I see you distrusting yourself.
I see you and all your doubt.

I see you much better than you do.
I see through the you in the rearview.
I see you there out in the desert.
I see you and your trembling heart.

I see true and love you still.
I see you and always will.
I love you more than anyone else.
I love you more than you love yourself.  

I see you.
I see through.
I see true.
I love you.
Genesis 16.13
Mar 9 · 120
Reflection
Steve Page Mar 9
Pallet is just a trick of the light
Echo a deceit
All we have is reflected
- for all that
it's no less sweet
I heard a radio interview where someone referred to the colour of a birds plumes as a trick of the light.  I shouted at the radio at that point.
Mar 8 · 127
Warmth
Steve Page Mar 8
Your warm armour enfolds me, equips me for loving battle.

Your warm sword stabs the cold, severs frostbite's grip.

Your warm shield shelters me,
shoulders the weight of attack.

Your warm tears flow artery deep, steel me for winter battle.

You're my warm core,
warm to my touch.

You're my warmth.
It started with warm armour.
Steve Page Mar 2
as he sat soft beside me.
“Sure,” I said, with ill feeling.
My instinct was not to cross my friend,
I had too few left.

I nodded to the Ape behind the bar and he obliged
with one lemon & ginger and one green tea.
He knows his regulars well
and we know we’d need to wait til later for anything stronger.

“Look,” he said, and I turned to see
a gap and I counted the two teeth that were missing -
no, not missing - he opened his hand
and there they were, both accounted for,
safe and secure in his grey leathery palm.

“Look,” he repeated, (a little slurred this time)
and turned his fist so I could see
the missing skin and the bruises
that gave testimony to his amateur status.  

His ****** grin and wet laughter
shook the silverback back into action
and we got a plate of malted milks.
Like I say, he knows his regulars well
and he’d listened when I told him
where he could get a regular supply,
direct from Staffordshire, in the UK.

“Lo-ok,” he said (more hesitant this time)
and lifted his shirt a little to reveal the knife wound,
replete with knife, buried to the hilt.

“Loo-,“ he started to say, as he slid off the bar stool
taking his tea with him, the porcelain shattering on the stone floor.

I winced – the cups had been a gift
to the Ape from my mother.
‘Why should the chimps get all the best crockery?’ she’d explained.

“I’ll pay for the breakage,” I said
and the Ape nodded his furrowed brow
as he swung round to grab the dustpan and mop.

I drank my tea,
counting off the friends that remained.
Inspired by the vibe in Dave Newman's collection, The Poem Pactory, published by White Gorilla Press.
Mar 1 · 81
Space Jesus
Steve Page Mar 1
I hear talk of Space Jesus:
A prince escaping a slaughter,
Surviving a journey through the desert,
Joining with the people
he came to save

- and then he rides giant worms....

I prefer the historical version,
the Christ Jesus.
Listening to reviews of Dune II
Mar 1 · 100
In a state of want
Steve Page Mar 1
I want, you want, they want,
in want,
sludging through want,
wading shin-thigh-waist deep,
as we sink-or-swim
this ******* swamp,
with a raised chin
just above this slow loss
of living want.

I want, you want, they want
in a new normal
right state of want.
Observations
Feb 26 · 221
Aging
Steve Page Feb 26
I'm full of long complexity
in this shell of masculinity
You see a pale reflection
of the inner deeper me

I'm not a likely poster child
but believe you-me it's true
I span across the gamut
between them, us, me and you

Don't judge this balding grayness
by the pallid, saggy skin
Start an honest conversation
- find the truer child within
Started in a very different place and the fifth draft landed in a more honest place
Feb 25 · 115
Good tech.
Steve Page Feb 25
Why can't they invent silent tech?
Design tech that bit closer to quiet?
Why does it need to hum or to whine
to constantly remind me
it's watching, listening, waiting,
biding it's time,
denying me the silence
that might breed peace
... or perhaps simply echo
my emptiness.  
(Thank heavens for tech.)
Silence is rare here.
Feb 19 · 285
Heroes
Steve Page Feb 19
Some of my heroes wear
a cowl or a cape,
they might wield a shield,
swing from a web
or swing a big hammer.

Some of my heroes wear
a smile in the face
of foaming anger
and throw a mean hug
that will make you stagger.

I know who I'd rather
be my first responder.
Thinking about folk I admire
Feb 19 · 640
Blossom
Steve Page Feb 19
It's seems way too early
for blossom
and for blossom to fall.
But who am I to judge?
I've never borne such beauty.
Walked past a tree and was showered in white blossom
Feb 18 · 1000
Effortless
Steve Page Feb 18
It's good to make you smile
by simply being myself

You too make me smile
effortlessly

Let's make more time
together
and make less effort
Here's to easy
Feb 18 · 212
'Hold!'
Steve Page Feb 18
Like the comfort of forged steel in your hand or between your teeth
Like the push of a brother's shoulder against yours
Like the grip of deep tread on your boots
Like the weight of a canteen on your belt
Like the pull of a loyal hound on your hand
Like the thunder of your horse beneath you
Like the loyal rays of morning cutting through the cold
Like the rumble of reinforcements across the Vale
Like the tight knot of a bandage on your deep wound
Was the reassurance of our Captain's voice ["Hold!"] in the absence of all else.
Reading Games of Thrones and went all medieval.
Feb 14 · 204
Slowed
Steve Page Feb 14
I should have
sought your hand as we walked,
slowed and not swallowed
my next question

I should have
asked you for one slow dance,
danced instead of imagined
decades on

I should have, could have,
perhaps would have
had we slowed
and given ourselves time
Funny how decades don't fade some memories, even if you can't be sure of them.
Feb 9 · 574
Sown
Steve Page Feb 9
He walked on into his shadow
ploughing into the dust
bearing the full weight of the sun
climbing deeper, further
from the warmth, closer
to the damp where light
is a mere rumour,
a seed's blind hope.
Sometimes we can't see the sun for the shadow
Feb 4 · 89
Build
Steve Page Feb 4
When I create,
when I build and make,
I seek a transfiguration,
a hope-full salmon-leap
toward the new creation.

I rise and dance beyond redemption,
I reach and pour the full fruits
of God's fresh fermentation.

I embrace God's ancient intention
for us to dream with His vision
taking us toward His now and not yet
new heaven and earth re-creation.  

When I create, I'm not just fixing,
I'm building with His blessing.
Reading Makoto Fujimura's 'Faith + Art'.
Steve Page Jan 5
Sometimes I close my eyes tighter
Sometimes I hold that breath longer
Sometimes I lose count
before I can release
and breath again.

Sometimes I close my eyes
and take my time in my darkness
and I go anywhere but here.

Sometimes,
on days like today,
I have my eyes open,
my vision light bright
my arms friend heavy,
my memories fresh made
and saved for future reference.
And I stay right here.
New Year blues and brunch with a mate
Dec 2023 · 95
Ducks in a row
Steve Page Dec 2023
I've got all my ducks in a row
Turned out 1 is rubber
2 are decoys
And the other 4 are vultures
But they're definitely in a row
Dec 2023 · 321
The flow
Steve Page Dec 2023
We are each floating, and so it is right and kind to notice and greet those floating along side us - we are each driven by the same flow to the same sea but within our own stream (some main, some minor), but all heading down and meandering, slowly slowing, unless we find resistance and find cause for rejuvenation - and of course, we do.  We all do.
Lessons in life prompted this.
Dec 2023 · 184
A wartime education
Steve Page Dec 2023
Interrupted and focused
on rare lessons of life,
punctuated by the full stops,
of death and of the loss
of childhood and childish dreams.

An education in sheltering,
dodging shrapnelled questions,
in bursts of splintered lessons
in how to button down
triggered emotions.

A wartime education
with faint hope of graduation.
Reading childhood accounts of war
Dec 2023 · 126
What would Baloo do?
Steve Page Dec 2023
I'm in my grandchild's bedroom.
She's not here yet
so I get to sleep beneath
a floor to ceiling green forest
and within arms reach of shelves of fairytales
buttressed by well-read tigers,
ad I hear Sheer Khan ask me to choose
my character - the grandad I would aspire to be -
A bare necessities Baloo?
Or nearer to a prudent Bagheera?

So I ask myself,
what would Baloo do?
The nursery is just about finished, ready for grandchild #1 next month.
Dec 2023 · 363
Breathing in time.
Steve Page Dec 2023
The choral fraternity
breathed coordinately,
perfectly quietly,
and (crucially) sequentially,
so that the consequent silences
went largely unnoticed,
fortunately.
I'm in a Christmas choir.  For the long lines, we're encouraged to breath in sequence in order to maintain the collective sound
Dec 2023 · 466
How do you smuggle Jesus?
Steve Page Dec 2023
How do you smuggle Jesus?
How can we disguise Him,
camouflage and mask Him -
how do you sneak Him in?

How do you smuggle Jesus,
give Him some acceptable spin?

How do you smuggle Jesus?
How can we conceal Him,
hide and obscure Him -
how do you slip Him past?

How do you smuggle Jesus,
keep Him from being unmasked?

How do you smuggle Jesus?
How can we impart Him,
stealthily bestow Him -
on those still on their search?

How do you smuggle Jesus,
and release Him back into His church?
Listening to Andrew Fellows, author.
Dec 2023 · 274
Left Unattended
Steve Page Dec 2023
He left me with a London Kiss
along the length of my body
deep enough to cost me
long enough to teach me to be careful
whenever I left myself exposed
and chose to be vulnerable
in this city of disputed space
and contested dreams.

He left me
poorer, but wiser.
I've been in London enough to expect the odd scrape.
Dec 2023 · 292
An Advent Visitor
Steve Page Dec 2023
The man of God slid through my door and up the stairs,
sliding out of his shoes to settle on the sofa,
eager to sup and to share a little cheer, a little truth,
laced with honesty and vulnerability.

He reminded me of the season and the reason we gather,
with song, with prayer, and why we rise refreshed,
ready for the Advent, for the King’s coming kingdom.

The man of God left something of Christmas in his wake
and I rose to lift seasoned cheer from my cupboard,
better ready to greet this Advent
with a strengthened smile.
1 December - make every day count this Christmas.   https://nottoopoetry.com/2023/12/01/an-advent-visitor/
Nov 2023 · 332
Intimacy
Steve Page Nov 2023
Intimacy is not physicality.
Intimacy takes heartfuls of risky honesty.
Its essence is vulnerability -
an ability to offer the key to deep dignity
and entrust it by degree or in its entirety.

And listen carefully:
It's not limited to matrimony.
It's a delicacy available to anybody
and without it friendship is hollow
and fully half empty.
Reading 7 Myths of Singleness by Sam Allberry.
Nov 2023 · 810
The One True King
Steve Page Nov 2023
Christmas can be a time
when families get together:
Young children scream, wine glasses gleam,
waiting for M&S dinner.

The TV's in the corner
rerunning Home Alone,
Heart radio's in the kitchen,
Chris Rea's driving home,
again.

The toddlers find the wrapping
more engaging than the Duplo
Teen couples find the company
less of interest than their own.

The dog's confused and excited
with so many different sources
of scratches and pats, she can't relax,
her whining is remorseless.

Christmas can be a time
when families are missed,
the parcel made last post
winging off to little sis.

Zoom will come in handy
to laugh across the miles,
the screen will mask the tears
and focus on the smiles.

Christmas can be a time
when budgets get stretched tight,
cash pressures get to breaking point
and prompt senseless fights.

Some focus on opportunity
to spend some gilt-free money,
the only prayers are for extra hours
and a faster Tesco trolley.

For others it's simply ' Yuletide'
an excessive celebration,
a winter feast, all you can eat,
give in to all temptation.

Most focus on the family,
even more on the gifts;
there's little time for Jesus
assigned amongst the myths.

Some do sing of Jesus
in half forgotten carols,
they know there's something more
than donkeys and angel heralds.

And there He is in the middle,
noticed once in a while;
it's His birthday, but all He's getting
is a half-hearted song and a smile.

But He's no longer a babe in a manger,
He's now a resurrected King,
And he waits for you who would worship
to stand and welcome Him in.

Christmas can be a time
for each of us to choose -
Our Christmas King stands waiting
Will we worship Him in truth?
re-write for 2023
Nov 2023 · 729
First Draft
Steve Page Nov 2023
Today is a first draft day
With no re-write on its way
I’m at the messy stage
the unstructured phase
with a faint promise of better
or maybe just more neatly arranged.

I’m a first draft
and on days like today
I feel it.
Oct 2023 · 528
Shadows and Sadness
Steve Page Oct 2023
No shadow
before light's warmth.
No sadness
before joy's kiss.
That's the way it is.
Light and dark.  It's all about light and dark.
Oct 2023 · 190
I never loved
Steve Page Oct 2023
I never loved
Til I did
I never loved again
Til when I did
And then I never did again
Until maybe now
I might
never say never
Oct 2023 · 106
One Day
Steve Page Oct 2023
so much splendor we cannot picture
waving beyond our spectrum

so many hymns we cannot hear
pitched outside our range

so much love we cannot bear
unbearably tender

but one day we’ll see more clearly
hear more keenly
and love more fully

one day …
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