Listen to the silence,

What does it try to tell you?

Nothing?

Listen closer

It means you are a loner

It calls out to you,

Yells at you,

Loner!

You will forever be alone

Or at least that is what mine tells me

As a rose you will rise from the cold wet earth,
Dirt will cover your leaves at first,
But eventually you will show your full beauty,
And share it with the world

I hate it, I hate it
I can get them out of my head
I hate it, I hate it
The voices in my head
I hate it, I hate it
It is driving me mad

I am locked up inside myself.
Have nowhere to go.
For it is all in mind.
I cannot run from the demons in my head.
The demons who want me dead.

I am locked up inside myself.
A body that doesn't fit.
A place that I do not trust.
A place I can't run from.
Because you can't run from yourself.

I am locked up inside myself.
With my demons screaming.
They are all in my head.
Just another game my mind likes to play.
Another game driving me insane.

Slowly I start to fall.
Start to hate.
This body I am locked up in.
My mind always taunting me.
Losing the last bit of my sanity.

I am locked up inside myself.
I cannot run.
This is my fate.
This body and mind.
This self hate and this demons.

I tried to run more than once.
Looked for an escape.
Tried to get away from the constant pain.
But never I could change my body.
Or defeat my inner demons.

I am locked up inside myself.
My body is like a cage.
A prison.
My demons the other inmates.
But it is all in head.

It is just another game my mind likes to play.
Another trick to make me hate myself even more.
And I know it is all in my mind.
But I can not escape.
You can't run from yourself and your own demons.

I am locked uo inside myself.
And that makes me scared.
Living in a body that doesn't fit.
And demons driving me insane.
But than once again, it is all in my mind and it won't change.

I loved you and you loved me.
But our love turned toxic and dissapeared.
It did hurt at first but I am over it now.
And I don't grieve the lost of our love no more.
Cause beauty can grow from pain.
And after destruction there is place and time to create.
What is broken can be fixed again.
But only when it is worth the time and effort.
When not, we still have the memories to build on.
And beauty can grow from pain.
After the fall we can rise again.
Stronger and wiser than we were before.
And that is why I don't grieve what we once had.
It is dead now and made place for new life.
More beautiful and than what was before.
This is why I don't grieve us falling out of love no more.

I am telling you what I feel,
But you don't seem to listen.
You don't hear the words I am saying,
The pain in my voice.

I am yelling at you,
But you don't hear what I am saying,
I scream ,
But you are deaf for my pain.

And I scream,
Try so hard to be heard,
But you don't seem to listen,
Am I not to be heard?

The black monster,
It is in my bed,
I can feel it,
It is warm against my leg.

empty bottles,
shattered glass,
blood lying on the floor,
What have we done?

slowely I open my eyes again,
The light is to bright,
What have we done?
I feel so sick.

There is old blood sticking on my bare skin
What have we done?
I can't remember,
My mind doesn't seem to work.

What have we done?
I grave for more,
I want to fill the emptiness in my heart,
Want once again feel your touch.

my mind is corrupted,
My heart is empty,
I tried to fill it with drugs and pain,
What have we done?

The floor need to be cleaned,
I need to get clean,
What have we done?
We were so despaired.

Our hearts were so empty,
What have we done?
we didn't see.
we didn't care.

What have we done?
filling our empty hearts with liquor and xtc,
like that could take away the loneliness,
we had in our broken hearts.

what have we done?
I ask myself as I see the bottles and the blood,
And your slowly cooling body lying next to me,
What have we done?

Don't bother leaving the light on,
I am not planning on staying here
Don't bother leaving the door open,
I am not planning on comming back anyway
Don't even bother to ask,
for the answer is clear,
I don't wanna stay here
Don't bother to wait for me,
as I won't come,
I won't follow anymore
No more steps I will take
So don't bother to wait
Don't bother leaving the lights on
That would be such a waste

I should not look,
She is a girl,
And so am I,
But she is pretty.

He is hot,
I kinda like him,
But I may not,
For he is a boy like me.

A girl and a boy,
Both loved,
Not by eachother,
But by me.

I look in the mirror,
See a body,
But it is not me,
Just my (fe)male version.

All alone.
No one there.
No one will see.
So then why bother to hide?
My pain,
My scars,
My fears,
My dreams,
My hopes.
What's the point?
When I am all alone.

Do you ever want to cry but no tears come?
Do you ever want to bleed but no blood flows?
Do you ever want to die but death won't come?
I have this all the time.
I want it all the time every day.
But I cannot cry, bleed or die.

I am so tired,
All I want is to close my eyes,
And never open them again.

When I die, will I cry?
And if I do, is it for the moments I had or for the moments I will never have?
But do I care when there are other solutions the death?

Hold me close.
I am afraid I might fall.
Hold me in your strong arms.
Fight away my fears.
Light my day.
Whisper sweet words of love in my ear.
And don't leave me.
Because I love you.
And I did be lost without you.
So hold me close.
Before I fall.
Don't let me walk alone.
I wouldn't make it far.
I need your smile to light my day.
And you arms around me to feel safe.
Cause I am so scared.
Without I would fall.
So please hold me close.
And never let me go

If I put on a smile an walk out this door,
and pretened that nothing is going on,
look again.
The scars on my thighs and wrist don't lie.
And if I smile,
I just want to cry.
But I will never show,
the pain in my heart,
I will suffer quietly,
live another lie.
But when you look closer,
you see that this is not real.
My smile is fake,
and all I want to do is cry.
Do you dare to look closer,
and see that I'm not okay.
Can you see?
Can you open your eyes for my pain?
And see trough my fake smile.
Because I am not okay.
And I want to scream.
But I don't want others to know,
because they never care.
And when you see me smile,
think again,
before you asume a thing.
Because I am not okay,
and my smile is fake.
My tears don't lie.
My scars don't lie.
They are real,
but my smile is not.
And you would see,
if you only looked a bit closer.

Alchol
To drown
Fight my thoughts
To drown the pain
Alchol

Do you like what you see?
Am I pretty yet?
Or do I need to add some more make up?
More lies?
Hide my true self?
The one that no one likes.
When will I be pretty?
Lose some more pounds?
So that you can see my weak bones?
Would you like to see that?
Or can you be content?
With the body I have?
The body that is me.
If not, how do I become pretty than?
How do I please you?
Why are you so ******* me?
Can I ever be pretty in your eyes?
Or will you just continue putting me down?
Deep down I know.
In your eyes I will never be pretty.
But I pretend that I don't know and some more make up.
Some more lies.
Till you don't see me anymore.
But just a bunch of lies.
Will I be pretty than?
Am I pretty yet?
The girl of lies.
Am I pretty yet?
What do you think?
Am I pretty yet?
Now you can't see me from under the lies.
Am I pretty yet or do you need more lies?
Another fake smile?
More make up?
Less weight?
More lies?
Tell me.
Am I pretty yet?
Or do you need more lies?

What have you seen?
That you are so afraid of closing your eyes and going to sleep.
What have you seen?
That scares you so much you never really dare to open your eyes.
Tell me, what have you seen?
That you are so afraid of life.

I am trapped,
Locked up like a bird in a cage
My wings are clipped
I am hidden away,
under hunderd of layers
I locked my true self far away,
afraid to be seen
I hide in this world of lies,
Afraid for what others may think
I am locked up like a bird in a cage,
a cage build by myself
I can't go away,
I am trapped,
In this web of lies and secrets
I am locked away,
not to be shown,
afraid for what others may think
They cannot know
They cannot see
Who I truly want to be

I am here all alone in this empty place

I want to go further, leave this place behind

This is not where I want to be

But something is keeping me here

I am attached to strings

Strings painfully attached at my back

Right where my wings should have been

Pulling me back down

Keeping me from flying

Giving me nothing but pain

As I cannot move without getting hurt

They will not let me escape the tragedy of this cruel world

I have nowhere to go, but here, I know, I cannot stay

Yet I cannot go

And this strings do not only tear my back apart

But also my heart

Soft sweet tones

Coming from the piano

Slowly I drift away

Listening to this pure beauty

I don't have to worry

I am free

As the music fills my mind

And I am finally not alone

The music is my company

The only company I need

On this journey

Guided by this sweet tones

The pure beauty that takes me away

My mind is floating

Sweet tones fill my heard

I am not alone

I have music

Soft sweet tones to accompany me

Your place is here.
Stay.

Don't move.
This is where you belong.

Don't complain.
This is where you should be.

The voice of society.

Stay here.
This is where you belong.

Shut your mouth.
Don't complain.

Be happy with what you got.
With where you are.

The voice of society.

Telling you to stay.
Not to do a single thing.

You aren't allowed to change.
For this society might not agree.

The voice of society.

Putting you down.
Telling you to lay back.

Don't you dare to disagree.
For the voice of society is strong.

The voice of society.

Yelling at you.
Ignoring you.

You cannot be who you are.
Just stay here.

Don't you dare to move.
Don't you dare to complain.

For the voice of society might disagree.

lets play hide and seek*, said my indentety, *I will hide, you seek

Pretty girl walks down the streets,
But no-one knows,
She is actualy an he.

you call me a sweet girl,
tell me to behave like a lady,
I  am your little princess.

But what if I don't want to be a princess?
Am not a lady?
And don't feel like a sweet little girl?

you call me a pretty girl,
a compliment, but an insult for me.
you don't see.

in your eyes I am your daugther,
Am I a girl,
But sometimes I just want to be a boy.

They once told me light is the fastes thing to travel, but why then is the darkness there always firts?


The darkness was overwhelming, it blinded me.
It was the only thing around me.
And I wasn't sure that was a good or a bad thing.
I did not know wether it scared me or comforted me, maybe both.

It felt like finaly comming home, but leaving it the same time.
It felt somehow dangerous, yet so peaceful and safe.
Till there suddenly in the darkness, was a pressence.
A pressence that made me doubt everything I ever believed in.

As the darkness comes,
And the night rises,
Putting me in its pure embrace,
Tears fall on my pale face,
Another day has passed by,
But I am still here,
And I will still be here,
When the sunlight drives away the darkness of the night,
But you won't be there,
You won't smile at me when I wake up,
You won't whisper 'good morning love,
And I will never feel your arms around me again,
Never I will see your beautiful eyes again,
And never again you will wrap me in your arms,
The only embrace I will know now,
Is the sad embrace of a lonely night

I killed her

I killed her

I can't get it out of my head

I killed her

I killed her

Don't be sad

I killed her, yes

Soon she will be dead

I killed her

I killed her

Don't be mad

I killed her

Please, don't be sad

She did not deserve to live

I killed her

I killed her

Soon she will be dead

Soon I will be dead

I killed her

Now don't grieve

Don't be sad

The darkness is comming

I got to go

I killed her

I killed myself

Iam going to the light

My body is a curse,
A boundry I cannot cross,
for tommorow it will be a bless,
my body is a cage,
my mind the captived one,
my body is like a prison,
for my very own soul

Something is wrong with me,

I don't know what,

but I am different,

I feel different,

I don't feel like I fit in,

There is no place for me,

not in this society,

I am sorry,

but I am not -can not- be,

who you want me to be,

I am different,

Something is wrong with me,

I don't know what,

But something isn't right,

I am sorry,

I am not who I should be,

sorry that I don't fit in,

I can't help that something is wrong with me

I am locked up in this body,

In this world of lies,

And deep down I know,

I will never be free

the voices whisper

they call out to me

They scream

They laugh at me



Should I listen?

Should I care?



The screaming won't stop

I can't tell the difference

between the screaming in my head

and my own



Stop it, stop!

I can't ignore them anymore



For the voices whisper

They call out to me

They scream

They laugh at me



I can't ignore them anymore

No, don't pity me

They are right

and this is my goodbye

There is no more

I am all alone

No more laughing

Only pain



For there is no more

I am all alone

Just me

And my pain

It was not long ago that I thought

That I would do anything for you

Oh- what was I naive

I should have known

I should have known better

Yes, I had to know better

I had to

I should have, I should have

But I was so naive and blind



I should have known better

I should know better

I will still give up everything

And I still will do everything for you

I might not be that naive anymore

Nor that blind

But that doesn't make me any less stupid

Many people fear the dark,

But there is nothing out there

Nothing to be afraid of

The darkness is safe

For as in the darkness you don't have to hide

You don't have to lie

For there are no judging eyes

Close your weary eyes my child

welcome the darkness

take my hand

let us become one

I dwell between the seven realms of reality

For I am,

But am not,

I have no name

Nor a soul

I just am

But I am not

Am I real or is this just a fantasy?

I dwell between the seven realms of reality

But I doubt my own

What am I?

And am I?