gave you all the love i had in me did my best at all times nobody is perfect but as soon as i did one little thing wrong i was the bad guy but when you hide your kids from a relationship i see you as a different person what did i do to ever deserve this pain you have a whole family and now i have to carry with this pain but at the same time i feel so stupid i knew something wasn't right in this relationship but i stayed through it because i loved you but i cant continue to hurt my self over people I've been nice for to long time to change the papers for once.some times god bring people into your life to make you learn a lesson and mines is for not to trust or give my all to someone ima always keep my distance past years ive wasted on a person that was never their for me judges me for anything the toxic person will always blame you and will try to manipulate you in all types of ways .

I’m slowly but surely learning to love my self .

I remember when I would look for healing on those who broke me

I knew I grew up when I sat right next to my enemy and had no reaction!

April 17 2019
It took me 4 years to get over this relationship to realize how blind i was the whole time he didnt love me all he would do it disrespect me i learned that i have to say no to what i don't like of feel comfortable with the person i was with he would always put me down i remember a cab guy told me sometimes it's not all about the money which didn't make sense to me because i'm not a gold digger but now i understand what he meant to say about that i needed to move on from this toxic relationship. I want better for my self men wise and respectful wise . i live and i learn i hope to never do this mistake again i need to stop picking the wrong guys an i would not tolerate a rude men and talks down to a women when mad i would not deal with all of that NO NO i felt humiliated with him he made me feel like **** even if he was sweet at times he would turn sour quick .f it's a turnoff for me .one time we went to the mall u know what he did he made me hold all his bags in front of people so embarrassing until i told him to hold his **** im not a slave like WOW nobody would believe me when i say i been through *******. He would always blame me call me crazy for always being right

Believe it everything will come to the light .

Once in my lifetime i wasn’t happy with my self and who I’ve became weak, sad, depressed, I felt worth less angry, and alone just because one person that I fell for made me feel so low about my self never again will I ever let some one put me down to the point where I drop my crown never again will I ever not know my worth !

I fight my own demons I rather deal with them my self.

sometimes I have to be a fool to fool the fool
Let it go with the flow at the end their the ones that are going to be hurt , since you already know the truth pretend you never seen anything  .

I feel alone
I feel like I’m always their for everyone
I feel like I listen to everyone
I feel like I help so much and get so little
I feel like I need someone
I feel like I’m not good enough but I do the most
I feel like I’m not loved
I feel like every time I put my all into something always end up betrayed
I feel like I have nobody but my self
I feel like I need a hey how are you doing text
I feel like I’m the only one chasing
I feel like I’m not wanted
I feel like crying sometimes
I feel like I deserve to be happy for once
I feel like I’m in a dark space and I need to see some light !

Arguments never seem to stop the past always seem to come up , leaving cant find a way the next day a good day the following allowing your whole day ruined.

We go through so many ****** up situations with nobody to talk to for thinking that the next person will judge you for all the mistakes you have done and continue with dealing with thinking that the days will go by faster and faster waking up and it’s a disaster.

Happy New Years !
New Year letting go off all the negativity welcoming positivity...........

Have you ever just sat down and said wow I was just about to open up to this person WOW!

I’ve finally let my self go.
I’m free as a bird no attachments.
I’m better than ever never on a rainy weather.
I’m better not bitter sometimes sour you’ll always remember when to be sweet ! It’s now or never better than forever !