I felt the silence like a shiver through the night,
Oily darkness like smoke it swallows light,
But I cannot fear when darkness was a part of me,
It almost ate my soul and stole my heart right out of me.

Now I keep myself to the fringes,
I seal the lock I melt all the hinges,
Now I stand so strong & happy by myself,
Sifting through the ashes of my minds wealth.

I needed isolation to find absolution for my self insurrection,
Confidence grows out of impotence with this correction,
Harvesting worth while I walk this direction,
Rebirth of the spirit in this resurrection.

My cells all sighed a breath of relief
My soul shimmering with the glow of belief
My mind finding balance banishing this grief
My life looking lighter with more life than a reef.

I'm A ***** That They Cuff,
Won't Introduce Me To Mami 'Cause I'm Not Enough,
Said That He Understands Me But He Has Turned Tough,
Now He's In My Spot So He Knows It Was Rough.

**** Your Apology,
Read The Situation In Reverse Chronology,
I Guess That Hate Is Inscribed In Your Pathology,
All Of The Stories But **** Your Mythology.

He Is An Author & He's Writing Fiction,
All Of His Tales Are Causing Me Friction,
My Words Are Aggressive It's Reflected In Diction,
He Just Loves *** (Yes) It's His Addiction.

Now That I'm Angry I'll Blind The Fire,
Now That I'm Grown I'll Bind My Desire,
I Wanted To Hurt You & Wanted To End You,
That's Emotional Growth From Where I Could Mend You.

Now When They Aim I Won't Defend You,
How When They Change & Try To Pretend To (.)  
Be The Same Person Not What They Descend To,
Playing The Game & Then They Offend You.

Tigers & Zebras (.) I Think You're A Snake,
Liars & Lovers (.) The Shame That They Take,
But It's Betrayal A Mood I Can't Shake,
Should've Known Better But I Loved A Flake.

One wide split right through the middle
Frightening fighting while I stay hidden
A war between reality and feelings
The path my feelings follow aren't always appealing.

I've invested my energies in endeavours proven destructive
Fed the essence of my aura into a river that's been occluded
All the sentiment sediment with the pressure becomes eruptive
Seems like the fallacy inside me had always been corrupted.

Imagination and my devastation have I always been deluded
Dichotomy so clear yet the opposing parts keep feuding
They create a perfect storm as if these factors colluded
Adding to the mounting anxiety making matters more confusing.

All The Shades Of Hell,
All The Spirits Tell,
How You Leaped & Fell,
But Now You Cannot Dwell.

Take a leaf from an Oak & reflect
On all time,
Take a page from a grimoire & see all the Magic.  

Take The Words From Their Mouth,
These Blinded Lame Mice,
Their Compass Points South,
But We Roll The Dice.

Gamble & gamble,
Throw chances & choices,
**** your whole Soul,
Then Drown In The Voices.

Can I fold your clothes?
Like I fold my opinion
Into smaller and smaller
Fragments of thought.

Can I hold your hand?
Without you sinking
In quicksand.
Left with noughts

No crosses, no kisses?
I'd thank God but he left me
But if not, only to test me.
And I can't find myself.

I can't deduce the deluded
Chaos of this Labryinth.

But I can try,
Die.
Fail or fly.

Illusions and comforting lies I lay with each night
Though these are my ties to this earth
These voices just hinder my worth
These thoughts just kindle my fright,
Will I be alright?

Paths how they diverge I lean to the left
Selling my blood so my hearts is bereft
Drop down I'm dead oh this bit's in jest
Frame as a joke before they digest.

Make it mean nothing, alas I digress.

If I say what I think
It's like claymore hit our link
If I say what I mean
It's like you've walked inside my dreams.

If my nightmare makes you shudder
In confession where you utter
Make the priest spit and stutter
Praying to Mary sanited mother.

If the truth takes a tole
Steals a portion of your soul
Makes you sin for your goals
Fills your aura with black holes.

Then welcome to the start of it
You might just lose your heart in it
Enjoy you're time in dystopia
The underworlds utopia.

Teasing Me, Pleasing Me,
Biting & Binding Me,
The Pain Isn't Blinding Me,
The Thrill It's Reminding Me.

The Love Of All This,
The ****** & Bliss,
The Rough Hands & Warm Nights,
The Soft Skin & Ripped Tights.

My Chest Is Vibrating,
The Pulse Of Us Mating,
The Moans Reverberating,
Our Love's Rehydrating.

All Of Our Pitfalls & All Of Our Highs,
Love Told The Truth Against A Tongue Full Of Lies,
I See The Love Like A Flame In Your Eyes,
I Know Our Feelings Have Doubled In Size.

Snakes and Ladders
Forever starting anew,
Seen circles of adders
Biting their tails
To the bone and through.

You got to move quick
In that place and have forethought
Forefront,
Otherwise you'll fall short
When your works not nearly done.

Beware the Ivory fangs
Flashing in the night.
Let fear butterfly into strength
And sight so you can
See which path is right.

Find a ladder
To lead away
From what made you
Madder,
Remember the feeling
Don't daunt
But it matters.

Snakes and Ladders
Beat at its own game,
You choose yours
But I threw the board
To the flame.

On The Sand, In The Sea, Feel The Stones Against My Feet.
Waves & Foam, Crash & Pull,
In The Middle Never Full,
In The Same I Taste Defeat,
In That Way I Am A Fool.

Salt air scalding my face & sending hair into disarray,
Sun paling the blue & turning skin red,
The sands golden hues glitter in spite of my mood.
Aware of the beauty but it's grandeur is lost on me.

Radiance & Brilliance,  
The Sun Is Truly Resilient,
The Fires Flames Are Militant,
Gaia Is Truly Diligent.

Done her duty for millennia,
Now the Sun bares down on her,
Can't contain the fire is stronger,
Burns her children & We are no longer.
One world interconnected,
If one house falls we're all effected.

I Remember A Mat With Roads And Buildings Printed On,
I Never Liked Toy Cars But I Liked The Mat.

I Remember Fleeting Details More Than Whole Scenes,
Fractured Spiderwebs Of Memory Singed To The Synapse.

I Wouldn't Have It Any Different,
I Wouldn't Bond These Broken Shards Of Thoughts To Form A Whole.

I Am Happily Secure With My Internal Black Hole.
I Am Hopelessly In Love With The Absence Of My Soul.
I Am Helplessly Addicted To Memories That I've Stole.

How the **** did this happen.
Goddess give me answers.
Is my luck so misshapened?
I put faith in my chances.

How fruit spoils before it can ever ripen
How love turns before it's ever heightened
How chances turn and bite like vipers
Now every turn is a chance to be frightened.

Now every second is an eternity without relief,
I forgo heaven as I burn with my belief,
I cry with my angels as my path becomes brief,
I lay with the demons when my soul is a thief.

Where's the Heart at
And tell me where we've been,
******* in equal parts
Yet we never seem to win.

Tell me where the Heart at
Where'd you park that,
Yeah we ******* larked that
Fat and juicy on a bench we sparked that.

Skunk was on literal
We were nasty hoes
Caught in His chaos
-******'-
Written in his prose.

Never thought death could rise,
but I'm luckin' now an' i rose.

Living my life now
Found my own soul
And my life now,
Won't look back
Can't look down!

Won't think of how
Only living loving now,
Body Spirit Soul and all the things
That make me whole.

Where I want to be
Just the sight in front
Of me.
How you want to say
What you want yourself to see.
Don't haunt yourself just
Look up and see,
Otherwise you're never you
Or ever free.

Narcissism is a Hydra in your heart,
Confront one head & three others sprout,
Can't reach the end when it's just the start,
You take all you can and only leave doubt.

But I still love you and I'm part to blame,
When I'm with you I'm hugging my shame,
Love is a liar it turned into games,
Or it is as it was but now I see flames.

So I must stand strong and use my resolve,
Turn from what burns me and learn to evolve,
If I can be wiser then I'll break your mould,
Keep my eyes wide while I aim for my goal.

Truth speaks,
Hell (.)
But the Currency is deafening.

People barely care
They're never not *******
or ever really listening.

But a grave we dug
No matter how grave,
When mud thuds I hope
We're snug.

What we made and
From that there's no reckoning.

A dark and dreary lane
But we saw and saught this
Figure beckoning.

Looking for release
And we only found
Another prison to lease.

Soon to be future
That has passed,
A shame for mud
But we couldn't last.

Feeling felt false
And I felt fake.
I only give
You only take

You were fire
I burnt like ice,
Together we detonate
Yet still we resonate.

Into you I fall deeply
My energy: lost, awashed or equal
I never found my equal
Would I dare where gamblers may?

Or fall back into dismay
Would I run like I'm unseen
Or return to the same routine.
Could I? Head under the guillotine.

Would I?
Red in a different scene
Lost but still keen
Love still never mean.

Was I really me.
Did I really change.
Did I truly grow?
When life got slow.

**** near choked on my laughter.
I mean, I **** near died from the comedy.

It wasn't a joke, but I was still vomiting, it held no reality
But I spared no brutality.

In actuality I've Been self actualised.
I need no figure to show me I've been tranquilised.
Took such time before I realised.

I've been dead & reanimated,
Zombie flesh decimated,
All my values antiquated,
Leaves my mind devastated.

Satiate your need,
Take a bite
Just feed.
Life pour from me like
A river.

Just breathe life into
Death again,
You fell, left rotted,
Rose from the ashes
And left Death besotted.

Phoenix, fly and
Burn free like fire.
Tame your flame
But freed to burst
Forth from the frame.

I Call To The Heavens, Hope I Hear From The Seraphim.
Called To The Circles,
I Circle Inferno,
Fly Away From This Hell & Into Paradiso.
Scented Petrichor On The Air, Earthly Sweetness Taken There,
Birds All Sing With Not One Care,
Scales In Balance All Is Fair.
Divine Being Six Wings Spread,
A Blinding Halo On Her Head,
Guiding The Worthy From The Dead.
To Much Light For The Darkest Dread,
So Absence Stays In The Taken's Stead,
The Chosen Rise To Sink Like Lead.

I Was So Lost In The Spirit World.
A Sky High Tall Man, Sings Rules Of The Land, All Of The Tropics That Rise Up From Sand, All Of The Oceans He Wept From His Glands,
How The Whole World Once Fit In His Hand.

When I Was Lost In The Spirit World. The Giant Sang "Dance, Fall From Your Stance, Roll Around & Into A Trace," The Giant Screamed "Jump, You Can't Escape In A Slump, If You Feel Down Then You're In A Dump, If You Get High You Can Slip From The Clump."

The Fae Look With A Sneer, In The Distance Its Clear, They Chant In Their Voices & Point At Their Heads  " That Giants Not Here, Hear Us We're Here, We'll Give You Gear,
Readjust Your Whole Steer.

Think Of The Mother & Think On Your Fear, Pray To The Dead They're Never Not Near, Free Yourself From The Demons Their To Dumb To Care, Walk From The Veil & Fly From The Tear. "

Pouring Wine & Eating Cheese,
Divine Like Heaven If You Please,
Sitting In A Circle Round,
Platinum Moonlight Does Surround.

Singing Chants & Burning Herbs,
Thanks For The Safety Of Our Herds,
Thanks For The Wind With Rain & Sun,
Thanks For The Harvest & Swelling Tums.

Respect For The Cycle That Circles Each Year,
Thanks To The Mother For Curing Our Fear,
Thanks For The Sight So We May See Clear,
Thanks For The Fates Who Give Us A Steer.  

Respect For The Magic That Makes The World Spin,
Magic Across Ages Has Been A Whirlwind,
Magic Begins Where Magic Will End,
Magic Is Endless So We Won't Pretend.

Give me more
& I'll show less,
Give me nothing
And have me hooked.

How hell froze over!
I fell in love,
Falling like a star
For you.

You were confused
I wasn't so sure,
But together we
Found insanities cure.

No it's not simple
We stamped on our
Own spine.

We ran stampedes passed
The Line.

Now...
I couldn't tell,
I truly don't know.

If there is anything
To fight for.

Dark I know
But I pray for the day
When the sun swells
And we start again.

My Soul Reflects The Darker Shades,
Once Was Full But All Soon Fades,
My Soul When Formed Was Pure & Bright,
Reality Soon Flicked Off The Light.

My Garden Grows & Withers In Time,
Mountains Mount There More To Climb,
The Skies Will Grey & Lighten Too,
The Stuff Of Life Will Frighten You.

If Spirit Dies It Can Be Reborn I Cut Mine Out Like A Coat To Be Shorn.

Was Never A Sheep It Wasn't My Form,  
Angels Could Weep We Transformed To A Storm,
Demons Still Seek So I Have To Inform.

Seraphim Sing To The World & The Calm:
" In Life You Need Learn, Or You're Not Our Concern.
Inferno You Should Burn, If From The Light You Would Turn. "

So Each Day I Take A Note,
Of What I've Learned & What I've Wrote,
Of Every Deed That's Destined To Float,
Of Every Bird & Every Boat.

Guess I'm still right,
Always head up
Looking for the light.
Wrong,
Always with the wasters
How you looking for the light.

Always tell another story,
tell when it's true,
Filling me with freight
But I guess that's just you.
Wish I had the might
Just to say that this is through.

How you turned on tables
Houses and your own home,
Now you're spinning fables
Just to find your old home.

Why Am I Laughing, I'm Feeling So Manic, I Think I'm Unscrewed,
I Need A Mechanic.

I Crash Into Barriers, I'm Grinding Up Metal,
Dust In The Sky & It Lands Where I Settle.

I'm Feeling Fine, I'm Ten Out Of Nine, I'm Making No Sense,
Don't Climb Up The Vine.

I'm Feeling Like Grime, I'm Spent Out Of Time, Life Makes No Sense, We Climb While We Grind.

Now I Just Pine, I Walk A Thin Line,
I'm Looking For Signs While Theirs Sweat Down My Spine.

I'm Looking For Me In The Mist Of Despair,
I'm Looking For Reason When I Didn't Care,
I Found My Feet Now I'm Climbing Upstairs,
I Woke Up From Sleep Now I ****** Nightmares.

Pride is an act of defiance,
Those who have it now - had it not - when they were younger.

The world taught you to shame but butterflies can't be tamed.
People sought to torture us, conversion camps, there more than this,
But if I air the weight of it - people say there is progress - but people do not process - the world is bigger than a microcosm - people still **** us to make flowers blossom.

Pride is an act of defiance, from the first stone that flew to the wall that we're
tearing down,
But the fight isn't over it's only just begun,
We fight for those who feel like they should run,
Because Pride is defiance when the world would pull a gun.

The anger I feel in my mind it is scathing,
The people are blind to why we need saving,
We're treated like toys they treat us like play things,
Step out of line then you'll need a tasing.

Your body they own it the truth is disturbing,
Your thoughts are they free do you think it's unnerving,
Your programs and apps is it purpose they're serving,
It's distraction & misdirection these servers are preserving.

It's crap & it's chaos,
Distract from your pay loss,
So what is inflation,
Media only serve sensation.

Your devices are listening,
While people ignore,
Our devices keep listening,
What's left in store.

Sold off for a pittance,
Waved off like good riddance,
A commodity to be used,
This odyssey leaves us bruised.

All Of The Stars
All Of The Moonlight,
What It Inspires
What Is Alight.

Pale In The Night,
The Subject Turned Coarse,
Throats Getting Tight,
Address The Dark Horse.

All Of His Love Said He'd Love Me Forever,
Now In The Dark & I've Lost My Tether,
All Of The Storms & What We Have Weathered,
But Now You Are Done & Our Bond Is Severed.

What He Is Saying,
It Doesn't Ring True,
Was You Just Playing,
Are We Now Through?

I'm Feeling So Bitter,
Crushed Like A Critter,
Flushed Down The *******,
Leave Me With The Litter.

All Of The Stars,
I'm Angry With Love,
Filling In Scars,
When You Leap
From A Shove.

What
When
How,
Did I fall
Down the rabbit hole?

Rabbid
Habit
Stab it,
Amputate gangrenous
Limbs.

Song
And meaningless Hymms,
You never caught me
Before Satan bought me.

What?
I should've stopped
Before my balloon popped.
But the pressure was immense
Lost time, past tense
In the sun, was the fun
Ever intense.

Was I ever there...
I feel like thin air...

His hands are gripping at my tail,
Hell born demons on my trail -
He thought he could bind me.

An angel in the sky
& I cannot align -
Please,
Wrought with confusion it just blinds me.

I cannot contain the pain is bursting from the frame
Man I hope that you hear this,
I still call your name when passion scorches rain
& I could almost be near bliss,
Then I'm well aware of the emptiness I share -
My bed it was made for a pair.

The man with golden teeth shares a soul with the Beast,
He sent me to a Hell dressed as Heaven.

I confess that I compressed my whole soul with this stress,
Once a mess of pure distress a naked flame I coalesce,
I turn into an inferno and I burn who dares caress,
I can heal and be better but first I must regress.

I'll forgive myself and say
That sometimes life goes this way
Maybe it's better not to stay
'Cause surely love finds its prey.

My chest is half full
Shimmering with love
Spilling compassion by the heartful.

My mind is my own
These voices are mine too
Threads of thought tough like sinew.

Unravel the knots so people can find you
Chaos can hinder weaken and blind you
Remember yourself be kind and be gentle.

Remember yourself and your morals be mindful.

You thought me flora to be arranged.
In the muck with the fauna,
Let me be deranged.

Let me run wild, be feral.

Let me run skyclad amidst the
Trees.
Don't bind me to your reality.
Don't imprison me in your
Model of Patriarchy.

Let me dance to the moon
And sing wildly in the wind.
Encaged I'll be left enraged -
Combusting from within.

How you want to send a text
& **** his world up,
You were lonely hugging bowls while you hurled up.
Agony on the floor,
Foetal how you curled up.

Puke up another blood vessel?
We have more time
to build up more slime
Build up more grime
Build up what's mine.

Blow in due course,
Empty of a force
Cause it's torn from me,
Style and confidence
It was born from me.

Now far from the core
Of me,
Sat in the shore or
Sea
I can't seem to see.

Who I want to be
And aspects
I want to free.

Finally The Fires Spent,
The Embers Darken Into Ash,
Hints Of Smoke Left In The Sky,
The Woodland Creatures Begin To Rise.

Finally The Rain Has Run,
Watering Crops For The Sun,
The Grain For Harvest In Due Time,
To Feed The Thousands For Their Climb.

Dawn Is Dawning On A New Day,
Mothers Fawning Over Babes,
Birds All Chirping In The Trees,
Dark To Light Across The Seas.

The Sun Is Climbing Up The Sky,
Wings Are Dry & We Can Fly,
The Rain Has Passed The Fires Spent,
The Work Continues We Don't Relent.

It's sad that the unseen are left to wither,
Cold & hungry they're left out to shiver,
Welfare is corrupt & the Government is morally bankrupt,
The system is fixed & not for the people,
Some people are predators propagating evil.

It's bitterly disgusting how people don't care,
It's a joke beyond proportions there's plenty to share,
But if they cannot charge them then assets left spare,
Human misery and the  disproportion is laid bare,
People bogged down in the depths of despair,
There's no accountability like they should stay there.

It's a game for these vultures,
It's just life for the rest,
Stress induced ulcers,
There's a press on our chests,
They sell this as culture,
Where work is the best.

But wages have fallen we're slaves to our debt,
Chemical inebriation just anything to forget,
It's survival of the richest while poverty grows,
A decline in intellect so nobody knows,
A deadline of people living on the breadline
But just read the headlines misinformation shows.

Hungered All Along
Though Only Just For Him,
The Currents Are So Strong
Across The Sea I'll Swim.

He Taught Me How To Love
He Told Me Not To Dim,
He Was Neon To My Heart
Never Cold Or Left In Parts,
Acid Sugar I'm So ****
Misdirection Throws The Darts.

Empty From The Gong
Made Of Space I'm Vaccum Sealed,
Empathy Was Arson
So I'm Still Charred & Not Quite Healed.

Apples Are Peeled,
Lemons Are Lemonade,
Destiny Has Killed,
So The Fates Eliminate.

The Bane Of My Existence Is An Empty Page,
When The Words Won't Flow The Thoughts Just Age,
My Mind Is Swelling But Equally As Empty,
How Can Articulacy Come When I'm Particularly Numb.

How Comes Happiness Is Ever So  Fleeting,
Can't Contain The Energy When My Aura Is Bleeding,
Redirect My Aura When My Soul Isn't Eating,
Self Consuming Ouroboros It's Follow While Leading.

Heavy Headed While I'm Floating,
Truth Is Tough No Sugar Coating,
Mind Is Full My Brain Is Bloating,
Ears Are Full Of What You're Quoting.

If I Am Free The Sky Is No Limitation,
But This Absence Of Life Is A Poor Imitation,
This Façade Of Civility Is Inherently Flawed,
A Cavalcade Of Hurt People Their Lives Are Ignored.

It beggars belief little lord on a cloud,
All the lies and deceit like it is allowed,
Molly coddled murderers wrapped in a shroud,
Put on a pedestal they make us proud.

I guess it's a joke but it's lacking humour,
Callous disregard and it grows like a tumour,
Deadheaded buds will never be bloomers,
Head out of sorts they'll send you to the groomers.

You are a worker so work till you bleed,
This country is driven by unbidden greed,
People are dying there are People in need,
Politicians only take it's their mouths that they feed.

We're falling to pieces we're down on our knees,
We'll sit outside parliament while we all freeze,

We won't let you forget because the people remember,

The day a homeless full time worker died of hypothermia outside of Parliament In December.

Same place
Fear has become commonplace.
Yet we try to create a safe space,
Space everywhere but not always safe.

Same place,
Now Hate won't hide
But time we'll bide
In the past tried.

But time changed with the tide
And the tide changes again.

Ride with the waves,
Don't sink or stay in the
Same place.
Let Fear dissolve
Love and let yourself evolve,
Find strength within your resolve.

Burst into Flames
Blameless,
Truly be shameless.
But be love, compassion
And be loved with passion,
Fashioned for this life...

To be continued

I'm Running Out Of Time
I'm Burning On The Inside
I'm Running From My Fears
They Never Seem To Subside.

The Hourglass Is Nearly Done
The Light Inside Is Nearly Spent
In The End It Was For Fun
In The End It Was All Meant.

I Am Nowhere Near Perfection,
From The Start I Knew Rejection,
I Know I'm My Own Reflection,
Diseased Inside I Hide With Deflection.  

I Am Rotting Living Flesh,
I Am Living On A Bless,
I'll Hide Inside If I Feel Stressed,
Deafened By My Pounding Chest.

Little Did I Know, A Lot I Could've Guessed, Guess I Should've Grown,
A Frame To Big For Stress.

Balance An Elephant On Your Shoulder,
The Darkness Grows Its Getting Colder,
Imbalance Is Outright It Can't Get Bolder,
The Machine Is Broke No Fix With Solder.

Disenchanted I Felt Stuck, The World Will Drain Away Your Luck,
All The Energy From You ******,
Bent Over A Table You'll Be ******.

Drenched In Hate You'll Swim In Styx,
From This Fire Their Is No Fix,
From This Day Your Left With Six,
A Week To Live I Hope It Fits.

A Scorched Charred Throat You'll First For Lethe,
Enchanted Waters To Make You Forget,
A Blank Canvas Will Be What's Left,
But You've Been Cursed To Hug Regret.

It's not what you took
Or what you left with
It's the skeletons that remain.

Rotting flesh,
Carcass & bone.

Mud, Blood
&
Cold hard stone.

It's the Art of Apathy
And how you embrace
Emptiness like a hidden lover.