I'm Running Out Of Time
I'm Burning On The Inside
I'm Running From My Fears
They Never Seem To Subside.

The Hourglass Is Nearly Done
The Light Inside Is Nearly Spent
In The End It Was For Fun
In The End It Was All Meant.

I Am Nowhere Near Perfection,
From The Start I Knew Rejection,
I Know I'm My Own Reflection,
Diseased Inside I Hide With Deflection.  

I Am Rotting Living Flesh,
I Am Living On A Bless,
I'll Hide Inside If I Feel Stressed,
Deafened By My Pounding Chest.

Hold me like you miss me soothe my worries as you kiss me
Sorrow bittersweet while my eyes are feeling misty
Tomorrow is unwritten except for the bottom of a bottle of whisky.

If this is where we part then I might reclaim my heart
I can't relinquish my love and let all my joys depart
I can't walk one way while the chaos of life restarts.

I'm supposed to say goodbye but it feels like you won't go
It had always been the edge of temptation how did something grow
Tomorrow I'll see if our patterns change and what the changes show.

Hold me like you miss me while you soothe my spirit it's risky
Change sometimes doesn't happen even when life gets grisly
Tomorrow is unbidden but I won't face it miserably.

Same place
Fear has become commonplace.
Yet we try to create a safe space,
Space everywhere but not always safe.

Same place,
Now Hate won't hide
But time we'll bide
In the past tried.

But time changed with the tide
And the tide changes again.

Ride with the waves,
Don't sink or stay in the
Same place.
Let Fear dissolve
Love and let yourself evolve,
Find strength within your resolve.

Burst into Flames
Blameless,
Truly be shameless.
But be love, compassion
And be loved with passion,
Fashioned for this life...

To be continued

Fake, snake
He's in the grass
I'm a rake.

Broke.
The embers I stoke
On your soul I ****.

Saught you
Left with naught,
In a net caught.

Strings pulled taut
In the fire wrought,
But I love you.

I treat you like this,
You treat me like ****
But still it's you I miss.

I treat you like rolatyty,
No loyalty no love.
As far as the stars above.

My Mouth Is So Wet Yes I'm Salivating,
Towards The Queens Honey We're Gravitating,
We're So Close Feel That Heat On Your Face,
The Truth Is Morose Because They'll Take Your Place.

One Will Fall Down So That Others Can Rise,
Others Throw Stones Just To Quicken The Ride,
But Their The Same Ones Filling Churches With Cries,
Their The Same Ones Feeling Wholesome Inside.

They Will Line Up To Mourn With Fake Tears,
From The Cradle To Kissing Coffins With Snake Sneers,
They Will Line Up To Ensure That You're Dead,
Covering Smiles Their Faces Like Lead.

Millions Ravaging Bones,
Smarter Ones Fight Over Thrones,
Ashes Still Warm When The Crowns Over Thrown,
Death Rolls In Graves At The Seeds We Have Sown.

Sometimes The World Isn't Meant For Everyone,
& Sometimes We Need To Make Our Houses Homes & Be Thankful For What We've Got.

Because What We Have Isn't Going To Change.
It's What We Do Each Day That Changes, The Changes We Make Internally, The Changes We Learn To Accept & The Changes We Eventually Embrace.

Sometimes You Have To **** Teeth & Stand Firm,
Other Times You Need To Swallow Pride & Bow Out.

No One Ever Said To Give Up,
But There's Only So Much Blood To Give Out,
There's Only So Life To Live Up,
Trophy Are For Winners & We All Go Without.

Little Did I Know, A Lot I Could've Guessed, Guess I Should've Grown,
A Frame To Big For Stress.

Balance An Elephant On Your Shoulder,
The Darkness Grows Its Getting Colder,
Imbalance Is Outright It Can't Get Bolder,
The Machine Is Broke No Fix With Solder.

Disenchanted I Felt Stuck, The World Will Drain Away Your Luck,
All The Energy From You ******,
Bent Over A Table You'll Be ******.

Drenched In Hate You'll Swim In Styx,
From This Fire Their Is No Fix,
From This Day Your Left With Six,
A Week To Live I Hope It Fits.

A Scorched Charred Throat You'll First For Lethe,
Enchanted Waters To Make You Forget,
A Blank Canvas Will Be What's Left,
But You've Been Cursed To Hug Regret.

Any day, any way, if we change we can't remain,
Change it all, tear it down, now the fires do surround,
Chuck it in, feel it burn, see it brighten watch it dim,
Any day, any way, let things change we cannot stay.

A changing cycle and an eternal dance,
We're caught between both in a cosmic dalliance,
A fertile promise procured by chance,
But only obtained if they contain vallience

It's not what you took
Or what you left with
It's the skeletons that remain.

Rotting flesh,
Carcass & bone.

Mud, Blood
&
Cold hard stone.

It's the Art of Apathy
And how you embrace
Emptiness like a hidden lover.

I Cannot Lie.

I Mean It's Really Sort Of Bad.

Think Back On (.) All The Things You Thought You Had.

Now Your Sat Holding Your Sides,
Only On Paper Do You Confide,
Your Closest Experience With Suicide,
But You Hope That Its Gone Now (.)
So You Can't Decide.

In A World Full Nerves (.) & On Sparks I Fly (.) In A World I Don't Deserve (.) I Only Hope To Try.

I want to beat your face till I break my fist,
Burn your **** on the ashes I'll ****,
Everyday it's led to this,
No more niceties I made a list.

I'll cut your heart out & feed the foxes,
Can't bury your body your flesh is toxic,
So I'll burn you with your clothes & boxes,
Then I'll kick back feet up in my boxers.

I thought I might try & make a love song,
Thought I was weak now I'm feeling strong,
"Good Morning" different bedside I woke up wrong,
All the people will be mourning before to long.

So these are my thoughts when I'm in your place,
But I won't "cut my nose off to spite my face."
So these are all my thoughts in unfiltered space,
Not a pretty picture but I rest my case.

Cutting Your Head Off It's Not On Your Shoulders,
Stamping & Kicking & Pulverising Your Boulders.

Sick & So Twisted Pure Evil Inside,
Demons Take Form In The Flesh You Reside,
You Could Take The Reins But You'd Never Decide,
Lacking Control So There's No Need To Revive.

Let His Soul Sink As His Frame Rots Away,
Malleable In Death As Energies Like Clay,

Reformed & Reworked & Reinvoked When We're Made,
Spirits Impression From The Past Will Fade,
Resurrections Reincarnation Like The Phoenix's Way,
We Can All Leave Buy It Takes Steel To Stay

Wish we'd go back in time
To that place,
Warmed in the presence
Of his space.

Held in the lock of
His kiss,
Melt in the shock of
His kiss.

Like dried kindling
We burst into flames,
Love and lust kindling
He played no games.

But playing together
Tied by a tether,
This Love
A Storm Couldn't Weather.

Never thought
Not for second,
But that second got caught.
In my heart
You became an after thought.

I've been left feeling like life has lost its meaning,
I know I'm not dead but it's me that I'm grieving,
Everyday I wake up and fall from the ceiling,
Everyday I fall but the truth I've been concealing.

I don't want you to see my when I'm weak,
I'm awake more than I'm asleep,
I don't answer to what I need,
Life feels slow but time is gaining speed.

I'm getting high while falling low,
The waves keep hitting with undertow,
Rip tides rush we end where they flow,
Depression follows wherever you go.

I can't keep grazing the sky while kissing the ground,
I'll stop gazing at stars because I can't astound,
I let my love go and now it's unbound,
Drifting like ash so it cannot be found.

He's High On Chronic,
I Find His Life Ironic,
Looking For Cures Like It's In A Tonic,
Looking For Health In The End He's Far From It.

I Find It Funny We Spin & Keep Spinning,
No Body Wins We're All Sins That Keep Sinning,
Trash Bags In Bins It's Our Skin That Keeps Thinning,
Knock Down The Pins In The Ring Who Keeps Winning.

Who Is A Champ,
Who Is The Chimp,
Who Owns The Camp,
Who Is The Imp.

He's High On Chronic,
Small Minds Think They're Iconic,
Looking For Cures Like It's In A Tonic,
You Opened The Gate Now Who Is Demonic.

Persephone
The spring gardens are heavenly
The Roses blush in her presence
And are scented with her essence.

Persephone
Returning to us to quicken growth
Even the underworld can't make you morose
Life overthrows death and we embody both.

Vile Old Creatures, Predators & Leeches, Feeding Off Youth & Destroying Innocence,
Blind To The Goddess, To Her Purity & Her Imminence.

She Will Cut Down These Rotted Old Weeds,
She Will DeadHead The Fruit Of Misdeeds,
Walk Them To Tartarus Then Take Her Leave.

O Protector Of Children & Mother Of Magick,
Maiden Of Life & A Bard Of The Tragic,
Crone Our True Warrior Give Us Our Knowledge,
So We May Rise Up & Prove What's Alleged.

Give Us Our Truth & Expose The Ruse,
We Have The Proof So Don't Blow
Your Fuse,
Hell Is Your Home & You Should Return,
Inferno & Fire I Hope That You Burn.

Misery loves company,
I guess that's why
I love you.

How sad,
Never could be or
Ever have been

Severed so Bad

Genetics counts as 1,
But reality holts at 2,
I guess that's why by 3
-I fear I may hate you -

Or hate that I love you.

Words came so easy
Now dry dead and decayed
On the roof of my mouth.
So close but never spoken,
Truth never allowed.

But these words burn
To be said out loud.
I wish you'd care or
Even been there,
But I guess I'm where
I'm fated.
Never satisfied
But validated.

Life's what I craft
and what I'll live,
Laughed at Fears tears,
Strifes what He'd give.

I will be
Looking for me,
Freed from this bind
Liberating my broken mind.
A long time coming
Pisces, never cruel to be unkind.

It doesn't really matter,
Or have a place in reality.
But I care.

It's not substantial,
You can't see it.
I swear it's there.

It's not real to me,
But no less fake.
It makes me feel.

It's present and past,
Never could last.
But it helps me heal.

Said he wants to bang me,
Told him find a noose
You can touch me when you hang me.

Grubby paws
Watch for my claws
Cause I can take your all


I can take you to the cosmic,
But you and your microcosm
I'll swipe you out like
A Microorganism.

Then I might actually ******.

Got To Have Guts,
You Need To Fly High,
So Stop With The Buts,
& At The Least You Should Try.

Maybe It's Easier Said Than Done,
There's No Light When You Blot Out The Sun,
Maybe It's Time To Just Let It All Slip,
Chalk On My Hand But I Cannot Get Grip.

Maybe It's Time That I Strap Up My Boots,
Plucked From The Earth & I'm Torn By My Roots,
Maybe It's Time To Pave My Own Path,
Revisit Youths Joy & Have A Good Laugh.

There Is A Demon Inside,
Exorcisms Don't Work As Religions Are Vain,
Magic Can Work But Don't Take That In Vain,
It Takes Practice & Repetition & Practising Until You're Conditioned.

It Takes More Than The Human Condition,
It Is A War Of Conflicting & Ancient Traditions,
It's A Life Wrote In Sand & Predicted To Scatter,
Will Of The Wind & Where Change Is The Matter.

What's Left Inside,
& What Was Once True?
When The Demons Have Died,
When It Is Just You.

What Is The Reason & What Was The Sense,
While I'm Not Easing 'Cause I Am Tense,
I Am Left Me But Not What Has Passed,
In This Arena I Am Out Classed.

Depression Grows Like A ****,
It Attacks What You Need,
Creating Feelings Of Anxiety,
Or Cavernous Spaces Sitting Quietly.

It's The Soul Crushing Pit,
Tartarus Has Nothing On It,
Beyond The Depths Of ****,
Worse Than What Was Writ.

How Like A Leaf In The Wind Did Some Flow,
Others Like Lead In A Lake They Won't Grow,
Who Didn't Grieve When The Inner Youth Died,
How Did You Know I Was Blunted Inside?

How Can I Breath When I Feel Like Its Stolen,
How Can I Stand When My Ankles Are Swollen,
Burnt Down To The Wick But I'm Never Off Sick,
I Never Break Even & I'll Never Brick.

I Should Decide If I Should Be Revived,
A Broken Part Of Me This Shell Is Derived,
Recoveries Road But I Didn't Drive.
I Woke Up But I Didn't Survive.

Gold!
Beauty behold,
Where the cards fold
&
Where sainted souls mould.

That's just perspective,
But living is death
And the dead are too effective,
That being said
Life is subjective
-
And we are cards to be dealt
Full of feeling needing expression
Wanting to be felt
In order to escape depression.

I won't go back to that place little reaper don't grin,
I won't plead or demand no I won't let you win,
I've locked down my mind I won't let you in,
All you have taken has worn me so thin.

I said no I said no I say no till I scream,
The scariest thing because I cannot dream,
The monsters the same it's the monster in me,
I can't quite reconcile this internal dichotomy.

I am now stronger than my weakened youth,
I could slam a door now to pull out a tooth,
Hindsight will teach but not show you the truth,
Search thoughts and feelings 'cause memory is proof.

Boiling inside its internal despair,
I cool it with water like it wasn't there,
I pretend I don't care & I know it's not fair,
How I built myself with pieces left spare.

I won't go back to that place little reaper I win,
I'll let down my hair see it flow in the wind,
I'll take off my clothes 'cause I glow with my sin,
I could never invite you so now I rescind.

Fall into the Sea
And swim eternally
With me

The ebb and flow.
We swim gracefully
Through the sepentine

Fish and mammal alike
We evade sight.
Currents pulled soft hearts tight.

The clock indicates time.
But endlessly eternally lost,
Swallowed in a black hole.

One of my own making,
My own doubts and fears collide
Cataclysmically, a Vortex to all near.

Leaving me barren, battered and bruised.
Gave my all but still got used.
I effervesce...
No. I sublimate.

All my doubts I hope to
Eliminate.
Fears to strength I'll
Stimulate.

Give me back my soul,
Build me,  
But I'll make myself whole.

When you held me,
Half you made me
And from truth you severed me
But to lies you tethered me.

Like a storm you'll weather me,
Savour the taste of your saviour.
And lost I lost all favour.

See me and I'm
Surely sunny
Now truly bright
Only a bit dark.

Kind of like an
Endless abyss
No less.
Nevertheless
Burns again.

Light like life
Leaving behind strife
Again.

Call me Sappy
Surely happy
Up in the sky.

The light and the blues
Looking down on the trees.

Dying inside but I'd breath life into you,
A healing circle circled thrice in
salt circle around you.

I'd scream to the Goddess & beseech all her power,
Reverse all the deeds & rewind to the hour...

Life's not that simple & that makes me sour,
Haunted inside I can't heal how I've flowered,

Love at the core of the blossoms sweet presence,
Heating the hearts and making one essence,

Now it's been severed I sweat while I shiver,
The fever consumes in the fire I wither.

More or less
I think I'm just lost
Maybe just less
Further from what's best.

Who knows,
****, who can tell me.
You know what,
**** who can tell me!

I've been compared to that
And made to feel mad
Compared to tat
And made to feel sad.

But worse than that,
I've been left like
A dog end.
Only dogs want the end
And care to pretend.

Snubbed out,
Words unknown to me
Are dubbed now.

Only hope I learn
Tired of this burn
Extinguished I release my rage.  
Tired of this cage,
Tear away loss from my page.

But who knows?
Maybe another day-
I'll nurse my pain
Till the tears drain
And I may remain.

Remain. Sane.

Am I Empty Enough For You?
The Grave Full Enough For Me.
Pupils Punctured Cannot See
Always Chained So Never Free.

I Was A Self Sacrificing Lamb At An Alter For You,
Written So Clearly In All Of The Stories,
It Was Us (.) You Should Have Cared For,
It Was Us (.) You Should've Been There For,
It Was Us (.) & I'll Make You Share More,
It Was Us (.) You Should've Been Careful.

I Don't Mean To Be Hateful The Meanness Isn't Me,
I Don't Mean To Retain It The Stain Should Be Free,
I Thought To Strive Forward & Act Thoughtfully,
But Maybe I'm ****** Up He Chose Differently.

Ill So I Chucked Up It's Not History,
Love At The Core It's No Mystery,
Situation So Broken I Fare Dreadfully,
Chest Is Left Open I Tread Carefully.

The thought of you sets my blood to boil,
In my mind there's hatred & stress in a coil,
In my gut there's a knife that sinks deeper with each breath,
The thought of you makes me feel a whole lot less.

It's like tar how thick & sickly my thoughts slide to you,
You are a cancer there's nothing to cut outside of you,
You're teeth & hair in a mutated tangle,
Words like venom with which I'll strangle.

Did you think you could take and only keep taking?
Working nonstop not just my soul that was aching,
Sweating out blood all the work it was breaking,
You made it harder when concrete was flaking.

I am just happy he's cashed out and gone,
Worn out his welcome his soul was all wrong,
This was a lesson that went on for too long,
Now it's all over I know I belong.

I say I'm strong
And In the beginning
That was true.

But in the end
We crumbled and fell from
Grace's ungracious heights.

We all fall
Faster than stars
Without regard of fear.

You and your joy
You and your ****,
You and I
left the masses ashock.

You and your ***,
Through the garden you plow.
Trimming down tall dreams
And shredding fraying  
Seems.

Bedding already fragile teens.
I guess your just a predator.
A tiger in tall grass,
Your victims never last.

******* -
**** your ideology.
You've killed more
Men than my love ever could.

*******,
Your life
And all that encompasses.

You took him,
Dead and whipped to
****** lashes in the
Streets.

**** soaked
And stained with blood,
You took my love.

He was pure
A soul still white
In the night of the world.

In the height of the dark
A soul left to be,
And lost to be
No more than a spark

How you set out to save me
With love you cannot save me,
We savage ravage life together
Savour favour life together.

Thought we'd finish
And win together,
Yet we're just vanishing,
Fighting just to breathe
Is really too famishing.

I was at the end of my wits
My stress blocked the light
It was a solar eclipse
Or a ******* blight.

Now when I wake I thank God for every fight,
Now when I cry I value every tear as a sight,
Never flowing often cause I'm iron when you ******* bite,
Never knowing me I'm moving on 'cause my futures bright.

Put me in a box in the corner for the coroner,
Like a maidenhead only take never honour her,
Left me on standby now it's blank on my monitor,
Treat me like a princess then you treat me like a foreigner.

Put me in a fix that you'll fix then you'll mix my drinks,
Tell me what I think how I think that my opinion stinks,
Fill my head with **** utter **** and then control choice,
Fill my head with panic pure worry then you take my voice.

I was at the end of my wits,
Moon hides the sun eclipse,
I was done getting hit
Which you "never ever did."

Which you "never ever did"
So I never ever hid
So I'm glad to be rid
I hope you never have a kid.

None of theses devils gave me
A ******* thing.
I repeat, Satan and his
Sisters.
Done less than bless
And give.
They take life and never forgive.


Taking more that
Who you are,
Left like a
Dot, a star.

I can shine,
But be no more.
Sold my soul,
Cursed to be his *****.

Taking strides like strikes
Till I see my devils
Penetrated by pikes.
Through their cold beating
Hearts.

Let the black blood of hell
Run like rivers across the land,
They can't never take root,
Constantly cutting and changing.

I'll shine, sing and rhyme
But be nothing more,
In a life after death
Cursed to be his *****.

I see that you see
Fridays been and done.
How do you feel,
In the cold light of the sun.

I see the white gaunt face,
Eyes red with the blood
Of the dead.
I see the dead stare.

I know that life won't ever care,
But that's a lesson -
Not a destroying quality,
In yourself you will find quality.

You will find what makes you "you",
You'll find yourself and heal yourself,
Don't take anyone else's word as fact,
Life, Lust and Love are ******* and that's a fact.

But to learn
One once burnt,
And to burn
A lesson is learnt.

~

Glad and thrilled,
Feeling eternally filled.
Was I sad when Life
Had stilled.

Sunk to fast,
The Oceans pressure,
Never would last.

Was I sad when Life
Had killed?

Life took Love
And Love took me,
Narcosis...
But just a breathe
Beneath the sea.

Deluded and panick filled:
I did not see
that I reaped the Reaper and
The death of me.
~

Just saw a picture of
The one who had me first.
My heart slammed against ribs
So much so that they have
Impressions.

Still felt like less than
The depressions which
Formed when reality hit.
And I was nothing
But
A game.

Have my body but my
Hearts mine baby,
Why'd I give you fuel
Just to burn me.
Play me,
Hell's hot.
You slayed me.

Now I hurt and I want the world.
Payed my dues
Now pay me!
Take me or
Just bury me
And let me sleep.

I paid my keep
And made my luck.
Shat on from heights
Lost but never stuck.

I move with violent motion,
Call me Ocean,
Silent Death
And hopes final
Breath.

Beings first breath,
And leaving when I
Cease breathing.

I'm more than me
I have life,
Less than Struggle with
Struggles strife.

Striving for more,
I dream to have mine,
Working while sore
Looking for a simple sign.

I dream but they twist into
Nightmares:
Nightmares haunt reality.
Never ran from what scares,
But the universe is prone to brutality.

Facing the race and
The race it is truly daunting,
Stood in my place
And the race is truly daunting.

But run one must and
In theirselves trust,
Resist doubts dust
Into the future ******.

You wanted options.
I gave you one.
I guess games get
Hard when you can't
Have fun.

I wanted one thing,
Something simple
But not a ******* care
Only person you see is yourself
I swear.

You couldn't wait a day,
Just one,
Before again you betray!
Dogs rut in the mud
No matter what
You say.