We do not choose our lives,
Nor can we change our lives.
-at times
We can learn to accept our lives,
Take responsibility for - our lives.
Then live our lives,
To their fullest capabilities,
For life.

My rock, my soul, my everything I know.
My strength in comfort of the un-known.
My mind when my thoughts choose not to appear.
My voice of reason, that helps settle my fears.
You are my stability,  my only stability,  on this rocky road.
You keep me grounded, my angel, from harm and from falling alone.
You pick me up, to help me see the highs again in life.
Concur my fears, our fears, and help not only me, but us strengthen to carry on. Not only do I thank God for you. I thank you for being your beautiful self, for embracing my life with the strength and endless possibilities of true love and dedication.
Truly who you are, is the world to me. You fill my life with kindness and hope for each new day. You are more then my souls connection,  you are my soul. You are more then my lover, you are now the love inside me which grows. I love you more each day for truly who you are. I love you more each passing moment for truly who you show me I am. Gratefully and graciously I thank you.
Thank you, for truly who you are.

The truth may hurt
Only if we listen
Will we be free

Thank you for allowing my soul to grow,
for watching over my mistakes,
for taking my hand to lead me on better paths.
Thank you for allowing me to see during the darkest of times.
Thank you for showing me strength
Proving to believe and trust in myself more often.
You encourage my courage,
Help steer me away from negativity,
Give me my choice in option to live clean and healthy,
To live my life.
Your guidance is a never ending learning,
Your lessons, teach me to stay whole.
Ask you shall receive, once received don't be greedy.
Never will I be greedy,
Never will I take you for granted.
Never will I abuse you, for I share my soul with you,
You are my inner being,
You are my universe,
Thank you, my universe.
Thank you.

Once the earth kissed the sky, then separated day from night. Only to then cause a rain storm from our heavens eyes. The warm tears fell,  landing on nature's ground. We're the starving rose lye, dying. Tears once rejected, now found there place, re-hydration to the rose giving life to his face. Rejoice from sadness,  build our strength. To accomplish all, and give back what we can't take.

Sometime's the truth is brutal on us, especially when it comes from our own voice.

Poetry *****!
It shows my vulnerability!
It shows my compassion,  my understanding.

Poetry *****!
It let's others like you know I am human.
It shows you I'm sensitive,
And come with not only my arms, but also my defenses down.

Poetry *****!
Even at my weakest times,
Even while completely open.
My strengths shine through,
Showing my real side,
Darkness and light, that I just can't subside.

Dear life,
Let these closings of long battles
And roads of new exploration be my new path for a new serene normalcy.
May these paths lead to answers,
Answers of who I am.
It's been so long since I've been the real me it hurts to a pain staking degree.
Trying to remember what once was me.
Nothings normal, all I once knew is now forgotten and gone.
You cannot expect to accomplish a new road in life, without having the knowledge of how to overcome its new and demanding challenges.  Simply its obstacles are to great to exceed without knowledge. And even scarier to face. Not knowing the unknowing being thrown to survive in the Lions den.
As a writer I write,  my thoughts, feelings and dreams.
I feel like a caged animal
At a zoo, behind glass
Looking at my once life
Now held captive
From this disease.
I miss my old life, I progressed so far.
Able to challenge my strength of mind,body and soul
Each and every day.
Now that is gone.
Grateful yes I am
Sad and *******?
You better bet.
Although grateful, I am not in good standing with the life I lead  now.
I never asked for this change, I loved my then life and only pleaded for the healthiest body. So I may be the best I could be in all strengths from muscular to mental.
I would love to see the old me and old life I once had.
I would apologize with all my might for whatever I did for it to stop accepting me.
Then maybe I would learn how to live this new resistant relationship I am in.
It's hard to accept that your own body is fighting its every move and with its every move it is literally chipping a little by little of your life and freedom away.
All you can do is wonder why and watch it pay severe tolls each day.
If I cannot return to the past then please may my future be at a level of any normalcy that my present future lacks.
For the sake of my mind and all who are a very important part of it.

Her name was coffee,
Her parents we're hippies.
Coffee was a gypsy,
Who always told the truth.
The truth of words,
Wrapped in lies.
Coffee led in truth,
To carry on her name.
Spilling stories of understanding,
Living in a world so free,
With a true vision of freedom in the eyes of crystal blue.
Telling her fractured tails to take all she can. To only be seen never again.

Out side beauty catches the eye.
While inner beauty,
Captures the soul.

Early morning,
Eyes still closed.
Staggering to my local coffee shop.
Swing open the door, and yell to the girl in front of the counter.
Gimme your strongest coffee!
She gave me a strange look when I gave her five bucks and said to keep the change.
I was walking out the door.
Trying to think how much coffee is now a days.
When it hit me!
I looked back through the glass, into the store.
I saw the girl "in front" not behind the counter,  ordering a capaccino.
This answered all my well thought questions I had pondered earlier this morning.
Along with a shocking revelation.
I just paid five bucks for warm milk!

Our eyes can not follow their roads dream.
When the road is closed,
The road begins in the mind.

Feeling down,
so I played the blues
Therapeutic tunes,
to help me get through.

Feel the vulnerability through the notes of another
Feel the heartwrenching wailing,
Through their solo

Relatable and understood
Are your words,
through your roots

Let your story, roll off your tongue
May your words, be as powerful
As the oceans tide

Play those blues
So I may hide

Sing your blues
One more time

Feeling down,
so I played the blues
Therapeutic tunes,
to help me get through.

Feel the vulnerability through the notes of another
Feel the heartwrenching wailing,
Through their solo

Relatable and understood
Are your words,
through your roots

Let your story, roll off your tongue
May your words, be as powerful
As the oceans tide

Play those blues
So I may hide

Finger fretting
Moving so free
Up and down that neck
Wail this stress, free

Sing your blues
One more time

Roll off your tongue
Memories of mine
Play that guitar boy
For new memories
To find

Wail them blues, one more time
Singing them blues,
So I may hide.

My words are out of disbelief
When I say what's going on
Why are we killing so much anymore
We use to be civilized
Now We Are Just Barbaric In Our Traits And Quest For *******.
Call me what you will, say what you want.
All I want is all this killing to stop
All This blame To end
All the fingers to go in for of a wave, or handshake,
Instead if a judge mental pointing
Two wrongs do not make a right
Killing humans, is not a lesson we need to teach our children
There Is No Understanding In A World Of greed.
And no room for improving our future with in moralistic judgements and fear based thoughts.

Self appreciation-
Poetry is like the soul
The soul being a bird
A Bird singing in it’s field,
Carrying it’s wounded heart
Across a bare land of hope
In search of it’s dreams.
As a blind man,
can hear every note from the bird precisely and accurately.
A deaf man can see all her beautiful vivid colors in her feathers.
Trying to build strength along they way Not to lose faith On each of their hardened journey.
Facing the reality of each their own dreams truth, One on one.
Taking the time,
Looking in their minds mirror,
Giving thanks to their soul’s For the life it has given to them.
Thanking their life for Building a complete fulfilling memory Of accomplishing the greatest of ones deepest sincerities in goals.
-Pure Inner Strength

Mad - Donna  
Once the laughter has gone
Turning her back
On a world so wrong

Once a sane life in this world
Took a turn, as a bullied girl
Mad-Donna
Escaped by popping pills
until they took her life
In the alleyway,
infected with chills

Mad-Donna sees
But not what the world may be
Through dilated pupils
And faded memories

Friends of then
Faces so thin
Like the dying soul
Trapped within

Mad-Donna, I wonder

Is it raining in your heart?
I see it pour out your veins
Is it trapped inside your mind?
These memories of insane.

Mad-Donna

Appears everynight
Her spirit of nature
Lives in the sky

The city's killing our earth
City the bullet
Earth our soul
Once where were rainbows
Now a killer roams

Mad-Donna

Once frightened
Now offer her hand
Invisible to some
Helping others understand

No need to see
Just feel
My child
For
Mad-Donna
Is an angel
For the wild child.

An empty bottle washes a shore.
It's contents, like mine
Are gone.
The oceans water is rough,
Like my life's journey so far.
This breeze tonight, is bitter cold,
Like my heart, left sour and old.
I have no thoughts of good nor bad
Maybe a few *******, but who wants that?
It's lonely out here alone,(beautiful as well.)
So I carve these us less words
Upon this old piece of drift wood.
Throwing it from my shore,
To only be found by some other sap.
I think I'm keeping the bottle thou.
No one ever understood me until we met.
Thanks to you cold, rough ocean's tide.
Thank you for this beautiful gift of a new friend.
- THE TIDE WITHIN ME

Keeping your eyes closed
While your reflection is trying to see you.

I try to please you,
But we'll never have that.
You say listen, but I can't.
My ears bleed deafness,
From the screams in my head at night.
My head pounds so hard,
Feels like my neck disconnects my spine.
My voice soft and horse,
From Pleading for mercy,
You just do not listen,
My opinion,
So empty.

We were once mountains
Standing tall, standing proud.
Mountains of great girth and of great pride.
We were once, the top of this world.
Landmarks, conquest, tourist attractions.
We were once as tall as the clouds.
And where safety , for the Eagles home.
We were once.

We were once, great boulders of strength and of size.
We were once great boulders hanging on for life.
We were once in the mids of this world.
Added beauty and charm to the mountains side.
Became steps to help others achieve their  goals, became hidding spots for smaller animals to hid from their prey.
We were once great boulders.
Relatable, reachable and visable.
We were once.

We were once rocks, that have fallen from the highest of peaks.
Rocks that have been broken, slammed, stepped on to help you achieve.
Rocks that made up the lower grounds of a stream.
Planted, stacked and buried
As a bridge for your feet,
To keep you dry.
We were once rocks.
Used as a grip for your boots, to keep you safe.
As a path to guide you, to all that you achieve.
As caverns for the minnow and his family.
As a safe haven from the piranha.
We were once.

We were once dust
The wearing,
the fragile truth.
Looked upon as not a thing.
We were once.
We are once.
Once
We are all dust.
Once,
We are all the beginning.
Once,
We are all,  the foundation.
Once,
We can see, we are all needed
Once,
We can hear, we are all our own strength.
Once we accept,  all for who they are, all of what we can be.
Once,
We see truth and strength
In unity.
All is just as import to building a powerful mountain.
Once,
All this,
Then, this rocks dust can rebuild
His majestics mountain of strength.

Listening to the silence of the rain
Sitting in the candle lit flames

Scents of lavender and vanilla
Fill the air , I breath.
Listening to my thoughts
Re-writing some old memories

The wind is violent today
Tossing into the windows,
Is the rain.
So hard, the drops hit my glass
Running down to the ground
To be safe at last.

The puddles are deepening
Sewers overfilled
Streets overcome,
With water they fill.

There's  no electricity now
The rain has silenced,
this blackened town.

Listening to the silence of the rain
Sitting in the candle lit flames
Now all my neighbors, will do the same.
Read a book, or read your mind
Be guided by flame,
In the day times,  night.

Rhythmic beats,
Rain drops fall.
-listen to them all

Steady in pace,
Not missing a sound
Hitting my roof,
Hitting the ground.

Wind like an orchestra,
Howls from the side.
Rain crashing on my window
Like hitting a cowbells side.

Trees shaking,
As drops hit their leaves.
Making beautiful tones,
Sounds of tambourines.

Rhythmic sounds peacefully there
Painting pictures as I sleep,
All night I could stare.

Breathe in the essence of new thoughts
Exhale the ideas that were tried
Open your mind to a new path
True happiness and strength
You will find.

her eyes as green
As the mornings grass
Glistened with tears
As the mornings dew

Alive
At the sight of love
No gender, no color
No religion
Alive
At the sight of love
In sight of simplest thoughts
Believing
Two souls blending
Blending into a society
A society that sees all
Until all have blended as one
Until one is accepted
As all.

Mad - Donna
Once the laughter has gone
Turning her back
On a world so wrong  Once a sane life in this world
Took a turn, as a bullied girl
Mad-Donna
Escaped by popping pills
until they took her life
In the alleyway,
infected with chills

Mad-Donna sees
But not what the world may be
Through dilated pupils
And faded memories

Friends of then
Faces so thin
Like the dying soul
Trapped within

Mad-Donna, I wonder

Is it raining in your heart?
I see it pour out your veins
Is it trapped inside your mind?
These memories of insane.

Mad-Donna

Appears everynight
Her spirit of nature
Lives in the sky

The city's killing our earth
City the bullet
Earth our soul
Once where were rainbows
Now a killer roams

Mad-Donna
Once frightened
Now offer her hand
Invisible to some
Helping others understand
No need to see
Just feel
My child
For
Mad-Donna
Is an angel
For the wild child.

#poetry #poem #visonary #narrativepoetry #gbuda #writing #art #words #poet

To rise yet again
But how high will I fly
-This time

Coals of the ashes
Stay at a simmer
Awaiting my return

A constant failure
Of minimal victories
Is this man behind these flames
Of laughter.

To crash and burn
To never learn
Never to learn
When there are no lessons learned

Rise to victory
In flames of glory
The pain is burning

Wishing the pain to go away
Cool waves of air
Blow out the flame

Killing the body
Yet leaving its soul
Sending it back,
To the coals below

Smile me a river,
May it capture my dreams.
Carry them down,
Life's rugged streams.
Up and down,
splashing, scurrying
Hanging on by the strength in hope
From a easy flow,to a heavy hurrying.
From the littlest of waves,
To spinning and twirling.
Clench my dreams, carry them through.
All these elements,  to share with you.

Like whispers, nighttime speaks.

Water falls to the creek
My blood flows of emotion
As a tear drop leaks.

Whispers

The sky thick with ice
foggy visions
Fill my sight.

Nighttime

Whisper in my ear
Winds of change
Are getting near.

Serene

Thunderous day
Come back again
Speak my reflection
Of my only friend.

Sometime's we need to just let go.
Find your serenity and embrace the strength your soul is waiting to give to you. Your emotions are fears and it is o.k. to let them show, but never let them rule you,
Just let go. Love your world and respect your world. We need to realize and appreciate we are already in our heaven.

A more forgiving setting where mistakes will no longer scar me, but still give me a higher insight and light to see. Leaving new heights to explore, lighter air to breathe and wider roads with more options to take. With these new directions may I learn the most valued thoughts. With these new thoughts may they never leave my mind, so I will forever stay grateful. May I find this ladder to become more of a grateful being. May I learn to never forget my gratitude for all of my life journeys. Never shall I forget all my hopes in dreams. In all my Hopes and Dreams. So I may have more visions of hopes for tomorrow. So I may have clear thoughts for realistic dreams to my better future. So I may live a kinder more accepting dream that I may call life. This road may have many new challenges which I will accept whole heartedly. For knowing how brutal some lessons in life may be. Now I have learned the difference between acceptance and repetition. With these new directions may I learn the most valued thoughts. With these new thoughts may they never leave my mind, so I will forever stay grateful. May I find this ladder to become more of a grateful being. May I learn to never forget my gratitude for all of my life journeys. Our souls are like a net. While our dreams are like butterflies. Our hearts are open to catch them all. Never will we stop dreaming. Never will we stop chasing and capturing our dreams. With the strength combined from one another our hearts shall beat as one. Strengthening each other to erase the lonely and sad for good from our lives. Every day now is a tribute to what we have found in one another. Every year that passes an awesome tribute of memories that this level of love and understanding we as a couple have accomplished. With out any battles, just a peace filled life to lead.


We, like the butterfly, are free may hearts flow to follow each other everyday fulfilling our dreams. Never shall I forget all my hopes in dreams. In all my Hopes and Dreams. So I may have more visions of hopes for tomorrow. So I may have clear thoughts for realistic dreams to my better future. So I may live a kinder more accepting dream that I may call life. This road may have many new challenges which I will accept whole heartedly. For knowing how brutal some lessons in life may be. Now I have learned the difference between acceptance and repetition. May I find this ladder to become more of a grateful being. May I learn to never forget my gratitude for all of my life journeys. Never shall I forget all my hopes in dreams. In all my Hopes and Dreams. So I may have more visions of hopes for tomorrow. So I may have clear thoughts for realistic dreams to my better future. So I may live a kinder more accepting dream that I may call life. This road may have many new challenges which I will accept whole heartedly. For knowing how brutal some lessons in life may be. Now I have learned the difference between acceptance and repetition. Peace may be defined differently by everyone, simply because peace is to each their own idea of serenity and closure. How you get there is called your road, once you get there is called your life.

He promised her the moon and stars,
When in reality, it was the sun she longed for.
"I can not give you the world. If I could you know I would."
Her words "I need to move away from your kindness, to find it all.
My greed persists and I refuse to change."
That was the day the sun forever would shine, due to his wishes.
Running back she kissed him, "thank you for this." He turned away and walked into the only bunker, the only protection from the sun. Locking it's door, "now it is your turn to burn."
The end.

Thoughts come and go
The body burns, yet soul carries on.
Words engraved on paper,
Tattoos engraved on skin.
Both thoughts of the inner soul
Pleading to be heard, to escape.
To be understood during its short existence.
Papers color in age, get brittle,
Become hard to read.
Tattoos fade through the years,
Become less a statement and harder to understand.
although time on this planet is short,
The soul will carry its message for eternity to come.
Like a perfectly placed tattoo engraved to this world forever.

The parachute won't open
I'm headed towards ground
My once white underwear
Is now a shade brown.

Misty morning,  misty eyed
Rain falling from the sky
Memories fill my head
From last night, the last night
It was the darkest night
I ever have known
A tear fell for each thought I had of you
For each disbelief,
A shot of whisky, or two
You never believed in us, all this time
Never did you bring to the table of concerns, between you and I
Disbelief still lingers in my mind
Lying in the rain,
Erasing time
To think again, of what once was I
living my fantasy
Perhaps out of touch
During a time of what I thought, once was us.

Love is true freedom
And true freedom
Can never be bought

Your hand on my chest,
Our eyes to the soul.

Life is not a game, the prize has no name.
I am no king, nor are you a queen.
But we all are something else between.
Call the cards high and lows
Isn't this how our life story goes?
Calling life a game, like blackjack or poker.
Will never title you, except a joker.
Winning is in the eye of the beholder and becomes a lot less as we become older.
Leave all your games, pieces behind.
Then follow your heart, to a open mind.

Wind blown clouds in sky
Tear filled rain drops feed maple trees
Leaves die feeding ground

Did you ever try to talk to the sky,
During its rain?
Did you ever try to explain,
To the clouds and stars,
Of your pain?

Did you ever want to be another soul, in a different time?

A time when time was a bit more giving,
A time when all there was,
Was giving.
Do you remember?

Understanding

A time for you and I,
Time to listen,
And extinguish all lies.

Did you ever try to speak to our sky?
Did you ever trust,
Never to question why?

Prayers to the rain,
Of you and I.
Cleansing our soul,
Seeing our light.

Guided memory,
Sights acceptance of clarity.
Do you remember, your inner beings
Inner sanctuary.

Rain drops fall from the tree top.
Tree top drips, from the leaves above.
Recreation of a storm that has already gone.
Fall from the clouds rain to be captured again.
Again to the wind, carried across the darkest sky.
Land on a limb falling like the tear from a saddened eye.
Tree tops cry, winds go by.
Fall gentle my tear, like a drop from heavens sky.

An empty bottle washes a shore.
It's contents, like mine
Are gone.
The oceans water is rough,
Like my life's journey so far.
This breeze tonight, is bitter cold,
Like my heart, left sour and old.
I have no thoughts of good nor bad
Maybe a few *******, but who wants that?
It's lonely out here alone,(beautiful as well.)
So I carve these us less words
Upon this old piece of drift wood.
Throwing it from my shore,
To only be found by some other sap.
I think I'm keeping the bottle thou.
No one ever understood me until we met.
Thanks to you cold, rough ocean's tide.
Thank you for this beautiful gift of a new friend.

With a dream filled flask
In an absent set mind,
His thoughts were at a stand still
-of time.

His beard long, matted and Grey
His thoughts old, fading, distant,
And aged.

His home was wherever he roamed,
His flask of dreams, is all he owned.

His well worn shoes covered his feet,
His abused heart, covered his sleeve.

I seen his blackened smile everyday,
Good morning, I'd reply as I walked away.

The same park bench every morning he'd lay.
Letting the chirps awaken his stay.

His name I did not know,
His life's road I did not know,
His morning story,
Was a man with a heart of gold.

At the age of seventeen
Thought I seen all I can see.

Until that night came.
-everything changed.

Everything changed,
I am never again, who I was,
Then.

Everything is different,
My feelings -thoughts in different.

My soul exchanged bodies
That night, everything changed.

Every thing changed, change.
I am never again who I was then,
On that one night,
When it all had changed.
Everything changed.

My body turned cold,
In the silence of sleep.
I felt my age grow,
My eyes opened for a peek.

Out of mind, and body
Was My soul.
Being lifted from bed
As I grew old.


Everything changed that night,
My soul has gone.
Now it lives in a new home
-since that night.

Since that night
It all has changed,
Inner being,
My beliefes,
-Not my name - that night,
That night.

Paralyzed, not from fright
Held down from moving,
A strong force, a might.

Goodbye old soul,
Good luck where you belong.

Hello new life,
Now back to being strong.

I begged for you,
For change, come true.

You listened clearly,
Accepting my exchange
Of souls that night.

Everything changed That night,
I saw the light.

Heaven saw my face,
- Not this place or time
For me,
- tonight,
That night
Everything changed,
That night

Poets- you all think your good,
So unique- I call *******.
Trying to say your ideas are original,
When in reality they are just a bunch of regurgitated words from another visionary before.
That's right, your spewing of words once were, makes your breath  reak.
You taste someone else's thought,
Think if you chew it up and spit it back on a plate you can call it lunch.
When in reality, your serving warmed over left overs.
Unique? I think not.
Poets? Really are non existing
Dreamers, trying to pretend their situations are unique, maybe.
Or martyrs who think their lives should be the next big movie?
Now that's  more like it.
Tell me tour boring story, of your boring town. Wait!
Let me light a smoke and open a bottle first.
(I'm  gonna need it.)
There is nothing unique of love.
There is nothing  unique  of hate.
Oh, you had a rough life?
Well whoopty  doo!
Here, I present  the golden tear award for you.
Unique, *******!
Poetry- a cheap mask for the jokers ball.
A bunch of hand downs,
Washed and pressed.
So we can call them new threads
And try to impress one another.

A roses desire with a street cars name.
It doesn't matter the direction
Cause we're all the same.
Knock three times, to get inside.
Darlings of the night  and shady cabbies are your ride.
A streetwise junkies philosophy  sounds good while your high.
Wisdom of truth, while smoked in a lie.
Sometimes coming down isn't the hardest part.
Sometimes it's reaching  the end,  for another start.

Beliefs aren't only in the hands we trust,
But more importantly, in the heart we hold.

My reality is to escape.
I escape by screaming the truth,
Screaming the truth to be heard.
Heard by closed ears,
Ears such as yours.

My dream is to be able to whisper,
Whisper those same words.
To have those same words I once whispered be heard.
To have those Whispers that I now speak.
Be heard,
Heard by you.