Nick Carraway is
Perhaps the character most
Similar to me

You know it was a fairly odd day
(As far as family Facebooking goes)
Not when there's news about  what a demagogue will say
But when you become known as the family ******

Your motive is hate
Your mood is irate
Your news feed is fake
Your plans aren't my fate

My feelings are these weird little creatures
That can make me want to hide
I sure as hell can't show them to others
So I keep them hidden inside
Except for around a precious few:
My two besties and the poems at my bedside
They are the ones whom I'm comfortable with
And whom I don't feel the need to abide

Why
Am I
The target
Of your ire

When
I was
Not part of
Events transpir'd

Why
Do I
Find myself
Doing the same

As
If I
Didn't know
About such pain

With civilians
There are a few, but not much
But on a small base
You can see them everywhere
In the milit'ry
They're a popular feature
From labs to shepherds
The force is full of black dogs

Dear C,
For the last week
I've been feeling down
I didn't believe anything
And no conclusions could be found
And all I could think
is " what if life has no meaning?
what if the universe just wastes space?
what's the meaning of the human race?"

But somehow
inexplicably
listening to you rant on the bus home
about how your Harvard-trained substitute
"Can't ******* teach"
somehow
unexplainably
made my day
a little brighter
and pushed the system in my mind out
like the month-long rainstorm that just ended yesterday
I guess listening to someone vent
when you feel pent up
can make you feel a little more free

so thank you

Whenever I hear of something bad
Something terrible or quite sad
I don't feel a thing, I just stare
Like a fish that's been caught unaware
An hour after numbness, reality comes in
My feelings arrive like a costal wave breakin'
And in a place with nothing to do with the scene
It is all I can do not to cry and scream
And all through the week it's more of the same
First the lull, then the tidal wave

"Grandma, we're learning
About twenty-sixteen in
History class, so

I wanted to ask
What was it like living then?
Was it like the books?"

At which point, we all
Will sigh and say "It really
Was a dumpster fire."

According to this book
You can't throw knives as a Girl Scout individual
However, the book neglects to mention
Uranium, cadavers, and cult rituals

Irony is
Needing a bookmark for Fahrenheit 451
Rooting around in your backpack
And the first thing you pull out
Is a fire energy pokemon card

You foolish men
Who toy with others' lives
Act as though you're safe
From a revolutionary's knives

You may be fine
With your panem et circenses
But be warned, your actions
Do carry consequences

Let's pretend that I can dance tonight
Who needs friends? Who needs day's light?
I'll pretend I can whip and pirouette
Let's see how far into the night I get
One hour, two hours, three crowds and four
My vision is blurry but I'll dance some more
I wonder how that boy did his coat and his hair
I gotta get out to the garden's frigid air
Who needs the friends from schools that you know?
Who needs that cute guy when the dances get slow?
All I need is the beat that shakes the ground
And the dusk induced feeling of no one else being around
With the last song of the night
The cops push us out without a fight

Life brings us into this world
With no say on our part
And no indication
Of what happens afterwards

Life brings us into this world
Having us just conscious enough
To know that we have no idea
Of our purpose
Or our fate
And having us care just enough
To be terrified and frustrated by that

If you ask me,
Life, or whoever invented it,
Is an *******

Noon is a stallion, pushing through
Running over a massive plain of sky
With breezes as breath and a broad chest of blue
He runs wildly with the sun blazing in his eye

I think a brick wall would show my feelings towards you
Talking's no use, and fighting isn't, too
And I've tried over, around, under, and through
And now I've stopped talking, because what else I can do

There's a version of me
Who's smart, pretty, and strong
But she only exists in my mind
In the midst of stories and songs

At first I had a crush on you
Moths in my stomach 'fore I even knew
Seeing your hair, feeling your strong arm on my side
I have no idea how my feelings managed to hide
Day in and day out, 'till it became moons
Seeing you there would almost make me swoon

But it could never work out, not with the timing
The years apart, relationahip present and ending
And your position in the place where we stayed
Distant, more experienced, not easily ignored or swayed
So I stood there blushing, hoping you'd never see
Just what a fantasizing mess you made out of me

Then events kept us both busy, and apart for days
We seemed to drift our separate ways
And as we did so, the sparks grew dim
Dulling the fantasies I held within
When time passed and we spoke again
I knew that we were only friends

And, quite contrary to every story I've heard
Of years of pining, unrequited love without a word
It was actually better than the way it was before
There weren't akward feelings I had to keep watch for
I became more relaxed, and I had more fun when we talked
And I became freer and goofier as we walked
And I was comfortable enough to get much closer to you
Now that the dynamic was the same from both our views
I once thought otherwise, but in the end
I found we were much better as friends

In a high school parking lot
I waited for the car to pass by
On the roof, a black sparrow
Lay up against the sky
I said "I wish I were like you,
For far away would I fly
Not afraid to take wing
Unafraid to take a dive
Not afraid to live
And not afraid to die."

Musical standmates share
A special type of bond
Not one of friendship or love
But of knowing where things belong

You learn how to adjust the stand
So that it's the perfect height
How to turn a chair, pick up a bow
So it goes well on concert night

You also learn how they speak
(My stand partner loves bad puns)
And how to reply back to them
(With all the memes under the sun)

The librarians
Identify me as a
Regular guest, now

U.S. history
Is just like I remember:
I know most of this

Physics is okay
It seems easy now, but I
Know it will get hard

Sociology
Is pretty awesome so far
And its so easy

Lunch was good enough
I got some time to read and
Catch up with a friend

Two boys ran back in
I asked them what had happened
"We just stabbed a guy"

The class average was
Sixty four percent on a
Spanish three pretest

The bus back was loud
But I didn't mind because
My music was on

I float
Like I am being recreated
I exist in the storm
And when it's abated

I rush
Uncontrollable, wild, and free
In rapids and hurricanes
That uproot the strongest trees

I flow
Slow and calm through the marsh
Among mist, birds, and hunters
Both gentle and harsh

I pour
In drissles and sheets from above
Watering the olive tree
And sending away the dove

Tienes labios rosas
Y pelo *****,
Quiero te besar
Y estar bailando.

I thought I could handle life
But before very long
My entire world flipped around
And I'm losing "right" and "wrong"

No matter the distance
Between you and I
We all share
The exact same sky

There are some differences
Between you and me
But our connectios as humans
Is what we all see

I wonder what the dinosaurs thought
When the asteroid fell and wrought
Destruction and chaos
For fate may befall us
In a century, we too could be caught

A hot, humid hill overseeing a river
Beautiful as heaven, but don't try to be a swimmer
Tons of wildlife, but a poisonous dinner

A country close by but so far away
Traffic alone makes up half of the day
For those who want room but not time to play

Museums galore and libraries for all
Most of America's internet is held a few miles off the mall
But the most desired information is behind cash and legal walls

Come a D.C. summer you'll be thunderstruck
Being able to live here costs all your luck
You'll need enough cash to buy food to fill a truck
The best places in town don't cost a buck

Some hear static and no more
Some hear a lion's roar

Some see an oil leak on pavement
Some see swirled caligraphy on parchment

Some see a worthless industrial junkyard
Some see a playground better than their yards

Some see a run down city street
Some see it as a great place for a band to meet

Some see a vacant, remote field
Some see a backwoods campsite to yeild

Some see scrawling on a bathroom wall
Some see the frustrated creativity 'neath it all

Friday night lights got me lit up in neon
The sound brings forth an etherial light
Galaxies are made in the great beyond
In the sound of underground bands tonight

I thought I could escape a raptor when
I moved five hours to a new valley
I switched out my life and my set of friends
Those dark thoughts had finally gone from me
One work week in, and somehow they were back
Those feelings I had thought both gone and dead
Three weeks in, and I've cut them quite far back
But no matter what, they're still in my head
So I guess that they'll just never be gone
So with that in mind, I'll keep moving on

If you've ever woken up in the dead of night
Feeling like you had to scream and howl
And you frantically start to gasp and write
Knowing you need to get everything out
Only to try and show it to the world the next day
And run when someone looks near you
Well, then you know just how my day
Looks if seen from my view

If you've ever written lyrics for all
To see, posting work anonymously
Feeling like you could swim over falls
And live your life courageously
And then you awake in the late evening
Because it's either the world's end or a branch on a pane
I don't have to explain exactly what I'm meaning
Because you and I feel the same

If you've ever known you're going mad
Even though you try to deny it
And then you wonder if it's actually bad
Later, you actually know it
But you don't dare to say anything
Because it will destroy your path and dreams
Then, I think you'll understand
Just what the hell I mean

"Ugh, I'm so tired
I haven't showered in forever
I'm hot and thirsty
And my legs hurt so much"

Walking next to her
I replied
"I can't feel any of that
I'm so tired
That I'm only vaugely aware
Of a tingling ache in my feet
And some blurriness in my eyes occasionally."

She laughed and said that I had transcended

I said to her
"If this is transcendence, it kind of *****"

Its kind of a funny thing
How the world teaches us that we need to be great
When so many of us are average

For the world to tell children
Of the need to fit in
And to tell these grown ups
Of the need to stand out

Thursday nights are one of my favorite times
Ever since I crossed the license lines
For then I get to drive a car
To the house where violin lessons are

Little 07' blue cruiser with only me in it
On pitch dark asphalt, I'm pushing the limit
I call her blue puma because citrus is taken
Three cross-country moves later, and only a little shakin'
She's not really mine, but actually dad's
But with two newer cars, I'm the one at the brake pads

It's a school night, but the radio's blarin'
Playing rock from Green Day to John Lennon
In bell bottom jeans, a tee, a faux leather jacket and sneakers
Windows rolled down, hair blowing in time with the speakers
And under fall moonlight, it just seems
This is the closest I'll get to the American dream

Back in the old days
We saw oceans and mountains
As the total end
Peoples and lands were cut off
Over a blue plain
Until brave explorers came
And made a new way
So now, we simply travel
From land to land with
With the ease of a dolphin's stroke

So I truly hope
That one day, the cosmos will
Be as the sea is
For we too once thought
That the sea was an impase
So perhaps space flight
Will be like island hopping

Oh, my ******* puppy
Your tail moves faster than a guppy
And you put up with things we do
Like when we try to bathe you
We got you quite some years ago
And wow, you really did grow
And I love you, you hyper furball
Shedding, barking, annoyance and all

It's called march madness for a reason
I don't know what it is with these season
Whether it's climate, pheromones
Or that we finally feel at home
There are couples everywhere you can see them

It was a strange word on my lips
Staring at the beautiful blue stalk
"One dollar a stem" the sign said
The way it rolls of the tongue when you talk
One buck out, I headed back
To the place I stayed alone
It was too quiet, empty, and sterile
But it sure as hell beat staying home

I placed the little mourning stalk
In the place that she used to sit
She and I never really looked or talked
But somehow, her absence is amiss
So I took a plastic water cup
And those flowers of the evening sky
And in that hospital, like room
I would sit and ponder why

And though I felt alone
And isolated from it all
That drooping stem of delphinium
Made the room feel a little more calm

Because I knew things weren't
Perfect as they stood
But between this and my house
I'd stay forever if I could
But stay forever I could not
I had only one week left
So I buckled down, goal in mind
To make it the best week yet

Delphinium- the name of lonliness
The sound of wonder and fear
The word of friendship and adventure
Oh how I wish you were here

There's a little voice inside my head
Telling me all the places I could be instead
And every day, the more I grow
I yearn and ache to get up and go
I keep on smiling, like I'm having fun
But you have no idea how much I want to run