It's kind of funny
I almost didn't have it But I'm glad I did 'Twas only a year But everything changed so much That I'm not the same I have said little So caught up in my life that I have yet to write Four school principals But now I am free of that From FCPS Rapid fire news Three different protests aloud In response to it And my views have changed March I did not tell, but then I joined DSA I have changed my world Flipping between three websites For my social life I have changed my town College is hard at times, but I love it so much With chosen family A punk scene and D&D I don't want to leave It was not painless But somehow I got up and Finally got help And then I came out Free from parental meddling Finally honest Still I play fiddle Still I watch Marvel movies Still the same workplace But within a year My worldview has changed so much And I can't go back Nor do I want to In spite of future challenge I now love my life So to the new year No matter what it shall bring I will be ready
My annual end of year poem.
The overall summary of this year in my life: I changed, I learned, I grew up. But I still have more learning to do.
Twenty sixteen And
I am seething and ranting For what has been done Two years later, rain A seedy bus stop, and I'm Praying I'll arrive
Two completely different, yet equally memorable events, and they somehow both happened on 11/9.
I read a quote somewhere that said,
"I don't know how many times I have survived myself, without telling anyone else." And I felt those words shoot through every nerve in my body. I felt them so deeply. And I wonder how many of us feel the same way. How many nights we fought off the suicidal thoughts, the urge to cut, the urge to purge, the urge to run or to hide out, alone, too afraid to worry or bother our friends and family. How many days and nights have we all suffered in our own darkness alone? People like us fight a battle no one can ever fathom because it's a battle no one can see. And we don't let them. I've fought myself and survived myself alone so many nights. There were nights I use to lose my own battle. But some how still came out alive. I guess that's how we keep going. Because every time we give up we come out stronger. You fight yourself and beat yourself up for so long that eventually you become a master of surviving a war. We're warriors. "I don't know how many times I've survived myself, without telling anyone else." Tonight, I'm telling all of you. I survived myself. And if you're still here and you're reading this, you survived yourself too. It's not easy but you did it. And I'm so proud of you all.
The original quote "I dont know how many times I survived myself, without telling anyone else.", which triggered the whole poem was written by @deadwatered. A talented poet I follow on tumblr.
Cold and damp, swamped by dismay
She left me, on this fragile Saturday. Here I sit, on a porch for a day. I never thought I’d travel off. When you realize, there’s nothing left to say... You arm yourself, emotionally, in another way. Not to dare say nostalgic, that’d be careless to relay. I’d rather scoff at the notion, of caring at all. So, I’ll just sit and stare, as my friends come and go. I’ll wait, patiently... my mind blue with frost. No thanks, I’ll wait... no matter the cost.
Brethren, now's the time of truth:
Good luck on finals
Somehow, this phrase has become both "goodbye" and "may the odds be ever in your favor".