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Ruheen May 2019
~

I just wanted silence.
Is that so hard to hear?

They misunderstood.
I didn't want them to disappear.


Are you so lost,
In your decadent flowers,
That you can't see a thing
Going on around us?


I can't fix things.
Things that aren't broken.
I wish I was drunk on rain,
I like it better than oxygen.


Are your roots so small,
That you can't even gather,
What little that's left
Of all of the water?


A drunk man's words
Are sober thoughts.
But a drunk tree's words
Say more than a lot.


You hide behind your leaves,
And those twisted vines.
Trying to look pretty.
Yelling that you're fine.


I've got terms and conditions.
Ones not so hard to follow.
Just be a lot quieter,
In your misery, you shall wallow.


But you need water.
You need care.
Otherwise, you won't grow
And you'll die right there.


You can share my apples,
But know this,
I may grow apples,
But I like oranges.


~
Two sides. One story.
Two thoughts. One head.
Ruheen Jul 2019
A rope has two ends, a story has two sides.
But we only see one.
The moon has two sides,
There are two types of right.
And two types of wrong.

But we only see one because it is the only one we can see. The only one we want to see.
Ruheen Sep 2018
Closed eyes,
Lost mind,
Bleeding heart,
Empty soul,
Open wounds,
Dark rooms,
Locked doors,

The pain is gone.
Ruheen Jul 2018
“You made me a promise
But you just broke it.
The tables have have turned
Don’t you get it?
It’s us against the world
Not you against I.
You promised to protect me
But you lied.”

“I made you a promise
And I didn’t break it.
The tables have turned
Believe me I get it.
It’s not us and the world
It’s only you and I”
I promised to protect you
And I’ll still try.”
Ruheen Apr 2019
What is the point of human rights if we don't acknowledge the fact that people have them?
As soon as you're born, you have them. Simply because you're human.
But acting human is a whole different thing.
Humans aren't machines.
We shouldn't be controlled.
People cannot tell us whether we deserve those rights or not, even if we don't.
In the end, we still have them.
But what's the point if we're not respected for having them?
Maybe it depends on an individual person.
We may think that someone doesn't deserve any rights, but they think that they do.
They may think that we don't deserve them, but we think that we do.
But when you think about it, our 'worth' is what decides if we 'deserve' to have rights or not.
It's almost like an unspoken rule;
Popularity triumphs all.
And though there are exceptions, that 'rule' still exists.
Popularity, money, fame.
Things that can vanish within a matter of time.
Our lives?
Not the same.
We all have the right to be human.
We can't choose not to be human,
But we can choose to be a good or bad one.
People violate human rights day-to-day, right in front of us.
And we just sit and watch.
We're bystanders.
And, honestly?
That's worse than being the violator.
Inspired by something I read.
There are 30 articles. 30 rights. We all have them. And they cannot be taken away.
Bullying, discrimination, false accusations. All of these violate at least 3 or 4 articles. And this happens every single day.
Human Rights is probably the most ironic things humans have ever created.
What's the point? Seriously?! I mean, why create something that isn't even going to be acknowledged?!
More people know about osmosis that they do about human rights, something that they've had since the day they were born. (Probably an exaggeration, but you get what I mean!)
I'm pretty sure the United Nations isn't happy with how things have turned out.

*lets out a long breath*
*sighs*
*smiles sheepishly*

Anyway, sorry for the long rant. Enjoy?
Ruheen Mar 2019
Nothing is real
         Nothing is promised
                                   Nothing is true
                                                 But I'm being honest
                                                          ­           Take a step forward
                                                         ­                               Take a step closer
                                                          ­           Take a step with me
                                                 We'll fall a little over
                                   Do not trust me
             I won't trust you
Letting you down
             Is what I can do
                               The more you fall                
                                             The deeper you'll dive
                                                            ­          The more you hurt
                                                            ­                     The slower you'll die
                                                             ­         Maybe you'll end up
                                                Where I already am
                           Walk down the steps                                                       
    ­       If you think you can
A warning's been given
                 No time to dwell
                               Please, welcome to
                                                   The stairs of hell.
Well, here you go. Another piece of my mind. Also, just saying, this is nothing. My brain is much more terrifying than this.
Ruheen Aug 2019
I asked my friend.
"Me or five strangers?"
She would **** me.
My friend asked me.
"Her or five strangers?"
I wouldn't **** her.

I asked her why.
"The greater good."
She asked me why.
I just smiled.
And walked away.

Sad, isn't it?
What would you do?
Ruheen Sep 2020
Confined in concrete and silence;

The serrated edges; scarring.

With blank spaces, impatient for thoughts

And handholds with which I can peek.

As I push myself higher,

My hands catch hold of a fence.

When I sit over the edge,

The fence digging into my legs,

My palms scratched and ******,

I decide; a mere jump cannot take

From me the pen I have longed to hold;

And so the inkless pages begin bleeding ink.
I haven't been able to write. I've been forcing words out, but I think I did it with this one.
Just had to jump over a wall. Piece of cake.
Ruheen Nov 2018
When he first opened his eyes,
He knew nothing.
He didn't know that his choices
Would leave him dead.
He didn't know that he couldn't live his life.
He  didn't know he would be shunned.
Rather than being accepted.
He didn't know anything.

He didn't **** himself.
They did.
Blaming him for who he was.
Shutting him out.
It was all their doing.
The last time he closed his eyes
Was the last time he said goodbye.

The funny thing is,
That now, after he's gone
Is when they start feeling guilty.
When they start regretting what they did.
But it's too late.
Now, there's no one to hear their apologies,
But them.

It was their fault.
They did this.
Not him.
So many people say it's wrong or disgusting. They don't realize that they have no right to judge people based on what choices they make. It's their life. Their decision. Nothing can change that.
Ruheen Aug 2018
They're not just nightmares.
They won't let me sleep
And I'm not making an excuse,
But you don't get that.
I can't even close my eyes
Because I'm scared.

I'm scared
But I don't wake up screaming.
I just lie there
Like a corpse.
I feel like one too.
Because I'm cold.

Sometimes I feel
Hands clawing at my throat.
I feel like I'm breathing dirt.
Like I'm six feet under,
But I'm still breathing.
That's how I feel.

I'm not scared, I'm petrified.
Don't you see?
They're not just nightmares.
Part of the reason I don't get nine hours of sleep.
Ruheen Jan 2020
They
Say too much
But do
Even less.
It's enough
Though.
To make
Me hate
Whatever
They do
But I know,
They hate
Whatever
They do
Too.
They
Mean everything
And everything
And more.
But they
Mean nothing
To me,
Even less
Than before.
Because they
Are sinking
In my eyes
They are drowning
Me
In a pool
As shallow
As their souls.
They.
Them.
Everyone else.
But me.
As well as a few other select people.
It's not really everyone else. Just mostly the people around me.
I honestly don't know. It's late. I'm tired.
Goodnight.
Ruheen Nov 2018
I

Hear

Voices

In

My

Head.

Am

I

Losing

My

Mind?

Save me.
Not actually going crazy, but sometimes I feel like I already am.
Ruheen Jun 2020
your voice gets caught in your throat;
and it burns
burns
burns
cause the fire in your
words
needs to
escape
then you take in
the air
and the oxygen
is there
and it dies down
but the embers light up
again
so you
gulp
gulp
gulp
hoping to quench
your thirst
and the words
that hiss against
your teeth
make them rattle
and shake
but end up burning
your tongue
instead
oh no.
what can you do
but let them
blow you up?
cause the
right time
is the
wrong time
and the
wrong time
becomes the
right time
and everything
just
slips
away
as you
scream
the fire's gone;
the embers too
so why does it
feel like
you
still
need
to
Clear
Your
Throat?
...
Ruheen Dec 2018
Too bad we can't time travel,
There are a lot of mistakes I need to fix.
There's a lot I would want to say to the girl I used to be.

I wish she knew that her life was going to be hell.
But,
She didn't.

And the past is the past.
It's what made me who I am now,
And do I really want that to change?
Do I?
Ruheen Sep 2020
Wanting to be like someone
And wanting to be someone
Are two very different things.
....one is identity theft!

To be or to be the other one.....that is the question.
A momentary burst of sarcasm.
Enjoy!
To be or not to be someone like Shakespeare....that is the question....!
Ruheen Nov 2018
Today I wrote a song.
I hummed it to the birds.
They sang it back to me,
As sweet as they could.
I don't know. It just popped into my head and I wrote it down. Someone tell me what I meant.
Ruheen Feb 2020
To find me
I'm supposed to change
Myself
But I don't know why
I have to change
Or what I'm supposed to
Change into.

To find me
I have to start
Searching
For something
But I don't know
What I'm even
Looking for.

To find me
I need to
Understand
Who I am
And who I can be
Or who I
Will be.

I'll think about it more.
Tomorrow.
I'm too tired.
Today.
I'm sick, tired and sad, right now.
So tomorrow.
Ruheen May 2019
Tallest tower
You fall off
Such a barbarous death
Because you didn't jump off
Figure out what the title means.
Ruheen May 2019
Happiness dies
        Excitement dies
Love dies
              People die.
                                  .
                        ­               .
                                           .
                                   And we get over it,
But our hearts don't.
                                  And
                                      so
                                        our  
                  ­                            souls
                                                      die.
Just a thought I played around with.
Ruheen Aug 2020
Do you ever just think about how you ended up thinking about something, and then try and retrace your thoughts?
.
.
.
Why am I trying to figure out how I thought about this?
.
.
.
Ohhhh. That's how I ended up thinking about this.
.
.
.
Why can't I remember? Ugh.
.
.
.
Why did I think about this?
.
.
.
I need to write something for HP. It's been a while.
.
.
.
I need to sleep.
I think that's how I thought about this. I think. Usually, I can retrace my thought pretty well, but this time, I just don't know.
I still like it.
Might make more of these.
Ruheen Mar 2021
I remember the inside:
A little red; a bit of grey.
Rows of leather seats and carpeted floors.
But it was when the journey began,
And I sat down,
My feet dangling over the edge,
Just like my anticipation -
They told me we'll be under the sea.
But I felt us moving;
The slow hum I heard eased me.
My eyes flickered to the window,
My parents' voices faded,
As I watched my reflection.
Then I noticed her. In the window.
I recognized her,
From where we had left.
It was while I was on my feet,
Hand clasped in my mother's,
But eyes fixed on her.
The girl sat waiting, sketchbook in her lap,
Pencil in her hand with her legs crossed.
It was crowded and clamorous,
Yet she paid no attention,
Her gaze set on her art,
Her movements steady.
The girl's raven hair was tied
And I think she wore something blue.
We went in together.
We sat on the left,
She sat on the right,
And drew.
And drew.
And drew.
And her pencil left dark marks on snow-like paper,
As her hands moved fast, then slow.
I couldn't help but watch.
I strained to look away,
But the window only showed…
Black. Bricks.
Darker than her hair. And her pencil.
We were underwater, but I didn't care.
I was more intrigued by the girl
Who sat so close, but was so far away.
Practically living in a different world.
I was helpless, shy, way too curious.
I wondered what she was thinking. And drawing.
It was pure, innocent, fascination.
Then the train stopped.
She stopped.
I stopped.
Because we had arrived.
We left.
She was gone.
I was bored.
Again.
A memory
Ruheen Jul 2020
"Treat others the way you want to be treated."
.
.
.
.
.
I've been trying for a while now.
I'm very nice.
All the time.
I swear I'm friendly with everyone.
No one's paying much attention.
No one's ever paid attention.
Some people think of me as a pushover now.
.
.
.
.
.
So.
I'll still do it.
I'm going to be nice.
I am nice.
But I'll stop treating them better.
Better than I treat myself.
.
.
.
.
.
That quote's missing something.
It should be more like:
"Treat others the way you want to be treated...but treat yourself more often and better, so you don't end up hating yourself. And everyone around you."
.
.
.
.
.
That's it.
Thank you.
.....long title.
Ruheen May 2019
Blade in my hand.
Eyes on you.
Feet planted on the ground.

You come running at me.
Not knowing what's about to happen.
Then suddenly blood spatters.

My hand's on your shoulder.
The blade in your torso.
As your white shirt turns red.

I tell you I'll take it out.
That it was only an accident.
But instead, I twist.

And watch your pretty little self
Fall to the ground.
Writhing in pain.

What's scary is that I don't feel anything.
Not pain, not guilt, not fear, nothing.
Hell, I barely even care.

I laugh at your cries for help.
I've killed you, now.
Twisted the knife and watched as you fell.
What can I say? I'm crazy.
Ugh
Ruheen Apr 2020
Ugh
I think I'm good at it,
And I am for a while,
But then I see a problem
And I just can't figure it out.
I don't know what to do.
So then I realize maybe
I'm not that good at it.
I'm not that smart maybe.
And then I wonder
Is it just me?
It is everyone?
Or am I just stupid?
Because I used to be good at it.
It used to be easy,
But now, I never know what to do.
It's so hard.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I hate Math.
Did I get you? I was talking about Math the entire time. :)
Ruheen May 2020
The wind changes directions.
The seasons change the weather.
The leaves change colours,
Even as they fall.
The clouds change shapes.
The sky changes stars
The rain changes the pressure
As it falls.
They all move
And change,
Their faces.
But the roots of a tree,
Remain
Unchanged.
...
Ruheen Sep 2019
I feel like peeling off my skin.
I can't seem to shake off the tension
In my shoulders,
My neck,
My hands.
So why not just take it all off?
Shed a layer of my skin,
Become someone new.
Maybe then I'll be comfortable again.
I'm probably just tired.
Ruheen Nov 2018
Demons are just FALLEN ANGELS.
They fell
From HEAVEN to HELL,
And unlike angels,
DEMONS have a STORY to tell.
Good and evil.
It's just two sides of the same coin.
Ruheen Sep 2018
Under the water
No one is watching.
Under the water
I'm not afraid.

Everything is so much quieter
When I'm under the water.
A thought I had while I was swimming in the water. It was so peaceful. I wish it was like that all the time. But I guess not.
Ruheen Sep 2019
Our board is too small,
Our moves are a mess.
We are pawns in a much more complicated game than chess.
Yet somehow, we mean even less.
It's like I'm obsessed with the idea of chess.
Ruheen Sep 2019
Ghoulish screams
Ghouls in dreams
Touching words
Touch that hurts
Shredded heart
Shredding part
You break
I break

Red oceans
Death omens
Darkened skies
Dark inside
Sharp blades
Short days
You don't
I don't

Dreaded lies
Dreadful eyes
Haunted smiles
Haunting cries
No place like
No one kind
You die
I might
One versus another.
Ruheen Oct 2020
I can see the way
Your rhymes they play
Your head
You've got that blame
On pause
Now hit repeat
I don't do rhymes
Patterns
Circles
Or anything
That spins my head
Because I get dizzy
And then my head hurts
Then I get awkward
And I don't like it.
Then I get nauseous
And I hate it.
And then someone out there
Decides to hit
Repeat.
...sorry it took so long.
Ruheen Oct 2019
Game on
Man down
Sleep tight
You're out

You start
The trap
You lose
They laugh

They shoot
You run
You shoot
They run

Right hook
Uppercut
They dodge
You duck

Play smart
Play safe
Not hard
It's a game

Wrong move
One life
All you get
Then you die

But at least in a game
You can press restart
And try all over again
I don't play video games, not that much.
Ruheen Jul 2019
Villains aren’t just people.
The mind is a villain all on its own.
...
Ruheen Nov 2018
Nos autem non in vacuum cucurri caeca.
Perdidit in tenebris sumus.
Ex visus, ex animo.
Nos iam esset desperato.
This is a poem in my favorite language: Latin.
Things just sound better in different languages, don't you think?

Translation:
We didn't run in blind
We were lost in darkness
Out of sight, out of mind
We were already hopeless.
Ruheen Sep 2020
I've been waiting to write
For something to suddenly inspire me
And for words to just flow out
...
But that didn't happen
So I tried forcing words out
Even if they didn't make sense
...
But that didn't work either
...
So this is all I got right now
It's not bad
...
Oh, forget it.
....
Ruheen Aug 2018
Wake. Up.
What do you see?
What is it?
What’s making you scream?

Wake. Up.
This isn't real.
It doesn't exist
It’s all in your head.

Wake. Up.
Your eyes are playing with you.
You’re just seeing things.
You’re only dreaming

Wake. Up.
Have you ever seen or felt things that weren’t there?
Have you ever had a dream that turns into a nightmare?
Have you ever woken up, screaming?
And they say it’s nothing.
Ruheen Jan 2019
Maybe we should just put down the puzzles
And leave it all behind.
Everything would be so much easier,
If we could just walk away.
.
.
.
Well, when someone figures out how to do that,
Let me know.
Because walking away is the hard part.
Everything would be so easy if we could just walk away from our hectic lives, but walking away.....too hard.
Ruheen Oct 2019
Shadows dancing on the walls
Whispers creeping through the walls
Doors rattling by the walls
People laughing behind the walls

Closed off quarters
But water seeps through
It's likely torture
When it reaches you

Shadows dancing on the walls
Whispers creeping through the walls
Doors rattling by the walls
People laughing behind the walls

Stuck between walls
Neither far nor near
They start closing in
I don't want to die in here

Shadows dancing
Whispers creeping
Doors rattling
People laughing

All in the walls.
Walls can be creepy. When you're alone and it's dark and when the walls are all you can see.
War
Ruheen Nov 2019
War
Did you want a battle?
I'm sorry,
I only do war.
It's more dangerous,
And a hell of a lot
Scarier.
...
Ruheen Oct 2018
We all make our own choices.
We all want different things.
But inside,
We are all the same.

We all hurt.
We all cry.
We all make mistakes.
We all forget.

We've all gotten hurt before
And we've all hurt someone.
We may seem different,
But we all bleed red.
We are all people. Even outcasts are human. I would know.
Ruheen Aug 2019
We really can't.
I'd imagine that would taste quite horrible.
Like paper.
Which is technically a tree...
Think about it.
When the last tree has been cut down,
The last fish caught,
The last river poisoned,
Only then will we realize
We cannot eat money.

-Cree Indian Proverb
Ruheen Jan 2019
What a delicate heart!
One touch and you'll shatter.
Treat yourself like fine art,
So the price won't matter.

What a sensitive heart!
I already see some of the cracks.
Such a bad start.
I hope we won't watch you collapse.

What a brave heart!
You act like you're getting stronger,
Yet you break down in the dark.
You can't take it any longer.

What a heart!
Delicate, sensitive and brave.
Promise me you won't break,
Even though it's what you crave.
Lot of heartbreak going around. Seen a lot of it. It's one of the most painful things in the world, yet everyone is bound to go through it at some point in life. You can't escape heartbreak, no matter how hard you try. It's like our hearts crave to be broken.
Ruheen Sep 2018
Sometimes, I'm just lost in my head
Don't know what's real and what's not
I just might be living a fantasy
Or drowning, oh so slowly

I don't know what I'm writing
I don't know what I'm saying
I might be dreaming
But what am I doing?

Sometimes, I'm just afraid
Of what I have to face
It may be a hallucination
A result of my frustration

I don't know what I'm feeling
I don't know what I'm seeing
It's too confusing
What am I doing?
I've got a lot going on and I'm just really tired. I feel like I don't know what I'm doing half the time. I feel so lost
Ruheen Sep 2019
What if the sky climbs higher?
And everything falls faster than me?

What if the rivers get angry?
And decide not to catch me?

If I fall, will I fall with grace?
Or with fear?

What if I fall?
And I can't be caught?

What if I fall?
And I don't get back up?

What if I fall?
...
Ruheen Apr 2019
You were right when you said
I don't know what it's like to be you
But take a look in my head
You have no idea what it's like to be me.
You might, they don't.
Ruheen Dec 2018
Being dead is better than being forgotten.
What's worse is being remembered by all your flaws.
I thought life was hard and death was easy.
Maybe I was wrong.
Maybe death isn't so easy after all.
Just a thought.
Ruheen Nov 2020
I don't feel like myself
I feel like yelling
I feel like crying
And I don't feel like writing
But here I am
.
.
.
Because it's supposed to help
They said it helps
...
Ruheen Sep 2019
When did I last really laugh?
I can't really remember.
But I want to.

When did I last cry?
Just yesterday I believe,
But I don't know why.

When did I last yell?
Does it count if it
Was only in my head?

When did I last break?
An hour, ago I'm afraid.
No, maybe, I think.

My final question:
When will I last,
Do all of the above?/
....ok then.
Ruheen Sep 2018
When we die, our secrets die with us.
As do our sweet lies and bitter truths.
Somehow, to me this makes sense.
Ruheen Sep 2018
I am a lost cause.
A human without purpose.
Where do I belong?
Even wanderers have a category.
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