Made from paper & some ink but it's worth quite a lot
It effects those it touches & those it does not
It's the cause of arguments & fights
& not enough of it, then out go the lights
It's hard to believe it's not even alive
We use it to help us survive
It gets copied & distorted
& across seas, it's sometimes transported
When it arrives it's exchanged
To this different appearance
Large amounts might require a government clearance
It can ruin lives & destroys happiness
I know it's hard to believe this
People lose their houses without it
& others are just happy with the change in your pocket
It's really the reason for theft crimes
Just trying to get by in troubling times
Working for it never seems to stop
& still not enough is made to get all you need
Which limits how much you buy when you shop
Barely enough food for the mouths you feed
Leaving little left for you to pay that bill
Stress & worries soon to follow
& down your cheeks tears begin to spill
Now your account is way too low
We underestimated its true value
It's definitely the root of all evil
If you let it control you
It will never be shared equally
To all the people
Which us sad & crummy
Maybe it'll give you a luxurious life or maybe no life at all
& what the beast is known as is MONEY
Don't let it be your downfall

Who am I?
I am me, who else would I be?!?
Not Tinkerbell or Repunzelle with the long, long hair
Nor Peter Pan in Never-Never land without a care
I am just ME
Happy little ME
What did you say??
OF COURSE I am ME every day!
There's no other way!
I don't want to be anyone else but ME
& that's who I am
...WHAT!!?? NO, I am not a Pam or a Tam
I am CERTAINLY not a SAM!
I told you already who I am!!
I am ME!! I am ME!!
Who sometimes climbs a tree..
Who sometimes lays by the sea...
But no matter where I go
There's something you should know
I am always ME!!
Change!? Not never no how will that ever happen,
It just simply won't be...
I love being little ME
Why wouldn't I be, I'm the coolest ME there will ever be!!
You just watch & see....
I am who I am & I am ME
That's truer than true
Just as much as you are you
& there's nothing you can do!!!

Two boys with a HIGH expectation
On how they see their future
Hard workers & lots of dedication
In their minds it was a perfect picture

Two girls just wanting happiness
Going against what others may say
Even when times seemed like a crisis
They were determined in every way

One boy always about making that money
The other boy just trying to stay on his feet
Both making a relationship crummy
Forcing it to be left incomplete

One girl forgetting about herself
The other girl convinced she could fix him
Both of them putting their own feelings aside on the shelf
No matter what they do, things continue to look grim

One boy hard to please & never satisfied
The other boy losing control of his fist
Both blinded by their actions, to themselves they lied
But their ******* won't be missed

One girl decided to take their life back
The other girl practically pushed away
Both girls realized they were on the wrong track
&& they were glad they didn't continue to stay

One boy had trouble letting go
The other boy obviously never really cared
Both boys truly ****** up, this we all know
Because of their actions they clearly shared

One girl now completely happy with someone new
The other girl finally happy & released from her restraints
Both girls living their lives how they choose to
They're all about peace & love & NO COMPLAINTS!

It never seems to fail every single morning..
I'm suddenly attacked without warning
& after so long you'd think I would expect it by now
But of course I always forget somehow
What's even worse is there's more than one of them
Like thorns on a rose stem
They're little ******
Playing ***** tricks
& known for ruining a perfect time
Eerie silence, not a sound, like a mime
Eliminating countless hours of your precious sleep
they will always be on the creep
hiding behind & in between
trying to remain unseen
there a well camouflaged army
& will gladly put an end to any party
have you figured out their identity yet?
at one point, I'm positive you have had the pleasure to meet
An unusual type of criminal
committing crimes that were quite predictable
like catching fish with a hook & bait
....they're always on time, not a second late
Soooooo..... do you think you can guess?
Or are you still clueless?
Here us what I'll do
I'll give you a few bits for a little clue
It comes down from the sky
Stare too long & you'll begin to cry
It can make you sneeze
Nutrients it brings tothe plants & the trees
In the wind it can make it warm
& always brings joy & peace after a storm
Sometimes it requires dark glasses to see
it can cause uncontrollable giggles & cheerful glee
Ok I guess I can tell you now...
Relax geeeeez, don't have a cow!!!
Last clue I'm going to say
NO MATTER WHAT, it'll NEVER go away
Only will it temporarily disappear at night
It's the bright rays of suns light!!!
**** IT! Who let sun in?!
being awake this early should be a sin
One morning could you just gimme a break???
....for goodness sake!!
Well I guess I'll get outta bed
I tried to argue & my case was plead
I did my best
To redeem my rest
Simply there just isn't much else left
I've been a victim of sleep theft!!!

I feel like I'm fighting against my soul
slowly losing control
as if I'm trapped in a bubble, to keep me out of trouble
no chance to fumble or even a stumble but my words that
I will speak won't be in a mumble
Just when I think I may lose this fight & that whatever I try won't make
things alright
I remember something that just might
How could I forget I practiced all night
A conversation with my mirror face, so my soul understands
its place
that we're in this together it's not a competition or race
it is simply just knowing what is right & what is wrong
helping your life easily flow along
You're my voice of reason
the one I believe in
from this I've learned what is in my chest, always knows
what's for my best
from time to time my brain will try to protest
just remind it your heart feels more then all the rest...

So as you continue through your day
you wonder how it got this way
somethings will never change
on to the next chapter, turn page
You can't control how you feel
& the pain may be real
like being cut with a knife
this is how you chose to live your life

As your addiction began to grow
you slowly started to lose your glow
everything we had started to shatter
but to you that didn't even matter
you decided it was time for a break
at the time it was really hard for me to take
its been long days & weeks since you've been gone
& I'm surprisingly moving on
there is something I need to get off my chest
I know I may not have been the best
there's also something else I'd like to confess
my life is so much better without you causing it stress

You actually did me a favor
now  I can stop trying to be you savior
I did everything I could do
but it is only YOU  who can save **YOU

When the time finally arrives
it's that feeling your body thrives
you suddenly become more alive
but with that you realize
it's not something you want to use to strive
because in your eyes, your happiness is lies
as your feelings reach new highs
& you see darkness in your skies
you years you slowly ****
but to you it is another cheap thrill
you do it all on your own will
either as a line or a pill
no matter what you'll get your fill

You just do a little more as you go
when your high becomes a low
you hope nobody will ever know
but your dependency is beginning to show
one minute you're happy the next mad, you think it's
just a fad but really inside you're sad, sad because of how
you became
now you're just filled with shame, since you're stuck in this never
ending
addiction game, with that you're life will never be the same....
& you're the only one to blame

Some people think they're all knowing
NO matter where you are going
or what you are doing
They are always assuming
Staring, glaring & sharing
all the things they think they've seen
It could be nice but it's mostly false & mean
There isn't much you can do to stop it & throwing a fit won't
make them quit
So just zip you lip & ignore them,
DON'T TRIP!
If they don't get a reaction from their vicious lies
they'll be the only one with water falling from their eyes
& no one will care about their lonely cries
They're all just fakers
because they don't know how to be their own story makers
instead just truth takers
while twisting words & sights
To make people believe it is right
Ignore the so called hater
& be your own story creator

They may think I'm not over you
because of this I write,
but trust me when I say I'm through
there wouldn't be anything you could say or do
I'll admit I'm a little bit bitter
BUT WHAT THE ****!!!, you're just a QUITTER
It's like your new jacket is missing the zipper
just like how you expected it to be there
I expected you to show me you still care
but instead I got derailed & thrown off track
blaming me for things YOU  really lack
& letting what we had slip through the crack
I will never ever come back
our break was my cue
I tried as hard as I could using all my might
but even still nothing I did was right
When little things began to spark a fight
We'd argue until each of our faces were blue
the relationship slowly tearing at the seam
we were no longer a team
but you pretended to have no clue
that's the moment I knew my worst fear was about to come true
the end to our seven years was near in sight
nothing could fix us not nails nor glue
I just need to let go & walk away, it's long overdue
this is the beginning to something new
my heart will heal over time
& loving you wasn't a crime
but being blinded by love only myself I can blame
I lost who I was along the way
I learned from it & I have no shame
but there is one more thing I'd like to say
I may have been your first
but I will never be your last
I'd rather live forever cursed then repeat the past...

Every night as I lay here in my bed
Attempting to sleep with my eyes tightly shut, although they seem open instead
There's too much chatter going on in my head
I feel out of my mind & yet I'm trapped inside
I'm searching for the chatters end but it's hopeless because that I'll never find
It just never quits & that's what drives me so mad, I just want to shout
"Ahhhhh!!!! LET ME OUT, LET ME OUT!!"
But why bother, that never seems to work
So inside here forever stuck, I'll aimlessly lurk
Peaces out & you couldn't even tell
Only because I've perfected disguising it so well
Yes, I'm sure by now I've got you slightly concerned if I'm sane
But only I know that & that's now my secret it'll remain
So just ignore my pointless rambles & confusing rhymes
They'll just get more twisted by the time I've finished all the lines
Only a few will get the well hidden but true meaning & understand
That's exactly how I like it & just what I planned
Still, you think you get what I'm saying or what I wrote
But that's like a boat with a huge hole claiming it can float
You're just pretending to know
In reality, you don't though!!! ;)

One question with answers that are never quite the same
Constantly changing, like a bi-polar mood ring
Does it exist, Heaven & Hell
After our time has reached its end & goodbye is waved
Will our soul rise above into the sky?
Or quickly be dropped beyond the dirt in your fiery domain in the ground?

Your actions& choices while living, so "they" say, are the reasons to blame
For your souls eternal bliss or its endless suffering
BUT to just anyone your soul you won't sell
The fear of being cleared of you existence & permanently erased
So will you go to Heaven or Hell after you die
....Maybe you'll end up lost & in between, earth bound

SO...DOES Heaven & Hell really exist
Don't be fooled & let your thoughts be easy to twist
Some will argue that YES, of course it does!!
& others believe there isn't now nor there ever was
But either way you believe in whatever you want to
You better not let anyone tell you what to do!!
Personally, who really & truly knows where anyone, in the end, actually goes
Anyways...why worry, now, about that
You're living NOW! In the PRESENT! so enjoy it wherever you're at!!

Your body's shaking
Inside you're slowly breaking
You're out of control
& falling further down the hole
Bottom is approaching so fast
Worse than times past
Have I gone too far???
I feel so bizarre
My head says stop
My body's about to drop
I won't let it win
After all..... I am the one who let it in
I can easily throw it out
But that I doubt
Slow it down & take it easy
Eat something so you're not queasy
Watch your weight
Or they'll question when's the last time you ate??
Questions will arise
& the truth is covered with little white lies
Reality is they have no clue
On what you actually do
You hide your secret well
No on can even tell
Still no excuse
For excessive use
Don't lose your grip
It's all over once you slip
When it started out just for fun
You don't want to be out of your mind spun
Don't shorten your life with the risks you take
Be wise with the choices you make!

A wild child, a free spirit
Her laughter is contagious
Once you hear it
The happiest girl you'll ever meet
But watch out, she only wears socks, so don't step on her feet!!!

She lives life on the edge
To live it up is her pledge
She's so vivacious
& some may think she lives much too dangerous
People's opinions don't affect her days
She continues to live her carefree ways

Although she seems to be vanishing from our sight
Something just isn't right
Her frame is gauntly & frail
Less then 100lbs now on her scale
Don't you dare ask her if she's sick
Or mention her arms being thin like a stick
She'll deny anything & say she's fine
Even though in the bathroom, a few minutes ago, she did a line

She still seems the same
Rumor is, drugs are to blame
But what is strange
Nothing is different except her weight change
So the truth really is unclear
But they'll always think the worst fear

No matter what is fake or true
People will always have an opinion about you
So continue doing whatever it is you like
All those haters can go take a hike
Looks can be deceiving
& the wrong message people can be receiving
Just keep your head held high so you wont fall flat
Because it is what it is & that is that!!

My thoughts may drift off throughout the day, I'm a dreamer what can I say??
But firmly on the ground my feet do stay
That I won't deny , no need to lie
There's more to me than what meets the eye
So look beyond what your eyes can see,
Before you go assuming & judging me
Regardless though I'll still continue on peacefully & worry free
That's just how I am, I just be!!

Here I am again, at the point of no return
I never do seem to learn
.....man oh man do my eyes burn
Another day watching the sunrise
But to me it's no surprise
How fast the hours pass through the night
& I'm just fine with that, no reason to put up a fight
I'm sure others don't think it's right
& it's just a big mistake
That I choose to stay awake
But that's a risk I'm willing to take
So for goodness sake
Give me a ******* break
Not the same you & me
My eyes look beyond what yours see
My soul is peaceful & free
Unlike you, I know how to JUST BE...

Here I am back at it once more
So many thoughts & random words then before
Piles of crumpled paper litter the floor
DO NOT DISTURB sign hanging on my door
To my notebooks I am a slave
Their pages filled with thoughts I must forever save
There are memories of dancing at a rave
& times when my friends & I would misbehave
Pages & pages of things I am not sure if I wish to be told
While other pages, stories begin to unfold
All the memories & thoughts throughout my years, is what each notebook forever will hold
Time carries on & I'll share the stories those pages contain when I'm old
But for now I guard them with my life & hold them tight
I have to keep them tucked away out of sight
I'm not quite ready to share all the things I write
Or explain reasons why I'm awake all night
So I'll continue to disappear into my room & hide
It is to my notebooks I truly do confide
The pages always catch my tears, after moments I've broken down & cried
They've helped me deal with people I trusted but then they lied
Most of all, made me realize you can't save them all, no matter how hard you tried
It's like a therapy session with no therapist
Expressing onto paper instead of using my fists
Pages collect the issues & not a single one is missed
That's why I have peace within & always happy..... To me it's pointless to be or stay ******!!

Out of my head I've spun
& to think I've only just begun
Too much to do & see, I'm having too much fun
I'm not even close to being done

All my personalities are starting to shine
& NO, I'm not crazy, really I'm fine
My personalities are just a hobby of mine
They do their best to stay on their side of the line

A best friend to share the madness that I can't contain
Each days adventures create memories & more happiness we gain
Even through the craziest missions, still BFFs we remain
Our lives are exciting & fun, very far from plain

Remember, if you can, to take risks & laugh a lot
Don't be greedy, instead make the most & the best from what you've got
Never regret the things you've done, whether it was bad or not
Everything happens for a reason, just don't forget the lesson you were taught

Now that that has been said
& I've written enough with my colorful ink pens, of course never any pencil lead
My mind is finally a bit more quiet since I've cleared my head
By creating some interesting poems to someday be read!

If you don't care enough to do all you can to make me want to stay......
I'm better off going astray....
I know you'll regret it someday....
& that you could careless with what I have to say....
Karmas a *****, remember that okay???
Because later you'll realize that I was the one you let get away!!!!

As it runs through my veins
Rearranging thoughts in my brain
Things I cannot contain
Reasons that will remain
Unknown & nameless
Like a one hit wonder, who thought he was famous
It's an amazing feeling
That leaves me tingly from floor to ceiling
Puts me in such a happy place
That a permanent smile stays on my face
Peace is a sensation so amazing & sweet
That I'm lifted right off my feet
& everything is always kept so neat
No one will ever tell why
Hehehe....I feel like a secret spy
The truth will not be exposed
Because that's how it goes
Kept so deep inside
From the world it will hide
It's safe there, with no judgment
Roaming in solitary confinement
The day it's set free
Will be the time it says goodbye to me
But that day is far away
So until it comes, we'll continue to play!!!

A chance you blindly took
Without even giving it a second look
Left you slightly damaged & bruised
Feeling twisted & used
Words not said,& answers that only confused
Like a fool, your heart was played
Too many years you stayed
But as the memories begin to fade
You became more wise
Quick to spot deception & lies
There's nothing now, that comes to be a surprise
There's just something's you can't deny
No matter how hard you try
You simply can't save everyone
Sometimes you just have to let go, walk away & be done...

The mistress of the night
Always appears when the time is right
She knows how to make you feel one-hundred times better than just alright
But with fair warning, don't get at all attached, she'll be gone before the morning light
Vanishing quickly, out of sight
The secret rendezvous is safe with her, her lips are sealed tight
That way nothing is said & there won't be any cause for a fight
You may not have had the pleasure of her company just yet but maybe, one day, if you're lucky you just might!! ;)

You're losing your control
The nothingness is gaining on your soul
It's like electricity traveling through a telephone wire
Or a rapid spreading fire
Don't you dare ******* blink
Faster & faster, it's all starting to sink
Still hopelessly you sit plucking the petals from flowers
Tick, tick the hands won't stop the hours
Over & over & over the words you consistently recite
You're hoping that last petal ends up right
There's a 50 percent chance of it ending "...loves you not"
Irritating you extremely & making you very distraught
Screams & rants of anger is what we hear
Sights of ending this obsession are nowhere near
The flowers are trembling & dying
If they had eyes, now would be when they're crying
Oddly enough, you're steady & not once lost focus
Like I mentioned earlier, she's pathetic & hopeless
As all the wrong petals now litter the entire path
Since that's how she's convinced she'll find her better half
....like a snail, she's going nowhere awfully fast
Seriously, how much longer will her shenanigans last?!
Please be informed: IN ORDER TO LIVE, YOU GOT TO MOVE YOU FEET!
If you don't, then not a single soul you'll meet
Of course it'll take time, you won't win right away
But I promise you, that's perfectly okay
ENOUGH is ENOUGH! I can only handle so much doubt
& those flower petals obviously weren't working out
Wishful thinking wasted your days sitting in the hills
Opportunities missed on new & exciting thrills

ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION???!!
I don't repeat, not a second time will I ever mention
Therefore, PLEASE NO repetitive silly little rhymes
RELAX!! Go with the flow, enjoy all the good times!!
Pulling petals won't help you find love
You'd have better luck wishing on the stars above
All you really need is to just believe & trust in fate
In no time....no time at all...in front of your face, YOUR SOULMATE!!
You're FINALLY starting to feel complete
Just imagine if you chose NOT to move your feet
Petals falling, flowers dying if you had stayed instead
& if you had ignored everything I just ******* said
You'd be left incomplete & wandering
With only the nothingness left & slowly your soul begins crumbling
So whatever you do or don't do
The choice is always up to you!!

Straight to the eye
Tears fall without the sound of a cry
Cursing & swearing worse than a sailor
Profanity yelled at its loudest to the savior
" ******* *******....**** IT!!"
****, I should sit
The fast lane
To becoming mentally insane
I've heard the rumors said
Round & round they're quickly spread
I'm crazy....oh ya??....plain mental!?!
Why is everyone so **** judgmental?
I'm still exactly the same
Nothing's changed, nothing's to blame
Actually..... I'm doing really, really well
But don't think all my secrets I will tell
That will never in a lifetime happen
So please, continue to only imagine
You'll never really know the whole plan
But I am only human
Therefore my happiness will only increase
& I'll continue to keep my peace!!

Unappreciated, taken for granted, unwanted & thrown away
Disappointed & blindsided by lies
& unnecessary verbal abuses
Broken, badly bruised & forever scarred
Meaningless words were all you'd ever say

Have it your way, peace out with my deuces
For you, the decision wasn't even hard
But giving up on love forever, not even an option
I know my love is still wanted the feeling, once found again, is quite amazing
I'll be able to tell this time if it's real
There's no doubt at all
We'll skip right over an introduction
This is so memorable you can bet in my notebook it'll be jotted
I've finally caught what I've been chasing
& he's the one worth letting pass my built up wall

Their mouth NEVER ******* seems to shut up & just stop
& **** snitches don't hesitate to quickly name drop
Twisting everything they'll hear
Creating lies & rumors like it is their career!
SO WATCH YOUR BACK, they are only a pretend friend
They're scary & **** identical when they're an impersonator
Nice & kind so they seem, turn away they'll be a backstabbing hater
NOBODY has time for all that ridiculous nonsense
Just attention seekers, without their usually faithful but now gone audience
Desperately trying to remain in the center of attention, cleary blind to the EXTREME  obvious!
You never really deserved to ever be forgiven
I'm done wasting my time & voice on someone who will NEVER listen
Ohhh yah a FYI, a friendship isn't a competition
But more like a dynamic duo always down for a random mission!
Oh well, no coming back now I'm not changing my decision!
Deuces!

Out of my mind
In my creative place
No limit to what I'll find
Wandering the never ending space
It's beyond amazing
Down goes another casualty
& I didn't even try saving
Rest in peace to reality
It is better this way
I just feel so free
**** right I'm going to stay
You would to if you were me!

Writer's block......****!!!
I hate it when I'm stuck
I'm constantly in a fight
with the words I'm attempting to write
it's hard to explain
the words are all there in my brain
it sounds great inside my head
but on my paper still nothing is said
I'm in a war with what I've wrote
&  it's far from legible, even worse than a doctors note
Wasted ink & crossed out lines clutter my pages
& I'm only in the beginning stages
all my writing looks like this until it's done
Sloppy is way more fun
neatness is unheard of by those who write an awful lot
The top of their concerns it is definitely not!
so when something just needs to be replaced
scribbles & scratches & now the old is erased
must be just right practically flawless, after all it is my insides revealing
& to the world I'm expressing all that I'm feeling
writing is my way to release
Keeping my mind, body, & soul at peace
temporarily escaping from reality
To clear & free my mentality
free of judgement I'm able to openly express
any & everything that may be causing me stress
you need to recognize it, take care of it, & set it FREE!!
You will feel better when you move on & let it be
there's no time to sit & reflect on it while you dwell
you're not a ******* hermit crab who refuses to leave his shell!!
by now the hours have passed on the clock
I finally got rid of my writer's block
As sunlight greets me through my
window
remaining raindrops create a little rainbow
I knew it then
That I ******* did it again!!
My **** sleep been forgotten
Surprisingly this happens quite often
So as I watch the morning sky get brighter & brighter
I have not a single doubt that I'll forever be a late night writer
It's something I could never quit
Without my notebooks and pens my life I couldn't imagine it!

Beyond that wall you built so high
To protect yourself from being told another lie
Is just an incomplete soul
Who's losing hope on ever being whole
Slowly fading out of sight
It's lost all ambition to fight
That's all the disappointment it can take
All because the words spoken were meaningless & fake...

I'm just a writer who loves to write
anytime anyplace, maybe day but mostly night
each page you turn & every word you've read
that's what's being shouted in my head
the voices never stop the chattering
but the sound of silence is heart shattering
my ideas & thoughts have a life of their own
so really I'm never actually alone
this notebook is my imagination flowing free
because after all that's how I like it to be
just going with my creative flow
Excitement is not knowing where itll go!!

Mirror, mirror on the wall
please don't tell I vomited in this stall
if they found out what I do
my life might as well be through
the names I'll be called are nasty & vicious
that's why I do my best to hide this

Mirror,Mirror over there
I'm so ******* fat its not fair
my arms are huge & jiggle
in the hall they point and smirk with a giggle
I want perfection
I am tired of endless rejection

Mirror, Mirror on your stand
give me answers I demand!
why are my thighs STILL so fat!?!
they almost touch, I'm so disgusted by that
& what's even worse
the scale read 105 pounds I have the obesity curse!!

Mirror, Mirror over my sink
why don't you tell me what you think
what a mess that is, my repulsive face
my lips, chin, cheekbones, & nose I desperately need to replace
I'm a long way from perfection
badly needing a major medical attention

Mirror, Mirror where did you go??
I've searched high & low
without you my reflection is lost
to get you back I'd pay anything, whatever the cost
but since you're gone....no need to go on another day
what's the point anyway?

Mirror, Mirror it's a shame that you fell
that girl who you saw daily has given a tragic farewell
her tiny cry for help was screemed so silent
caught by society & the pressure for "a perfect look" was her solitary confinement
a life no longer alive inside
through the mirror, perfection she was unable to find

Mirror, Mirror never hung back up on the wall
this wasn't a fairytale, not one bit at all
through the looking glass a broken image stared back
no magical place can help hide her away from constant attack
she's a painting forgotten in the rain, life being quickly washed away
A voice never heard but it had so much to say
***** dust lines is all that remains
where the mirror used to be
taking down forever, so into it no more eyes will ever see
they blame the mirror, claiming it only reflected hurtful lies
although there's no proof that it ever really reflected any bit of criticize
beyond the mirror image showing through
it won't always be how you hope
your choice is to just smile & keep going or decide its too much, letting go of the end of the rope

perfection doesn't really exist
reality just gives you the picture  & a slight twist
never change who you are
& you're surely be happy & go far
don't search for what never was the end never appears, a no show, it just never does