Your hot breath on my skin,
Your arm lovingly around my waist,
Long legs wrapped around mine.

Thighs numb, ruby red buttocks and a big cheesy grin adorns your face.

Thoughts of the night reverberating through your mind.

Another hit
Chasing that high
When does it become too much
In the case of some
Not until
They
Are
Six
Feet






Under

Her haunting presence lingers
Ethereal energy surrounds my tormented soul
Why can't she leave me alone
She follows me
Everywhere
I see her in everything
She's sadistic
Feeds on my misery

PLEASE
JUST
LEAVE ME ALONE

Perception is wonderful isn't it.
Hides so many unfavorable things.
Makes the world seem calm
When in fact it's utter chaos.

So beautiful those ruby red lips
They leave kiss stains on your mind

A lone troubadour
Hums his lonely composition
He stares at his reflection
Forged from the puddle at his feet

His humming falls silent
The puddle disturbed by a single tear
This lone troubadours pen
Has ran dry

Her fingers wander south
Enhanced pleasure by her intoxication
Her thoughts of the lonely poet
His words resonate in her minds eye
Biting her lip till her toes curl
She too sits alone, cuddles her pillow
Too afraid too mention such feelings
He sits alone... craving to be desired By the woman who fingers wander
Both lonely...Oh if only

Just tell me
What is it you want
Do you want me to leave
Do you want me to stay
Because I know you don't want to be alone
It eats you alive
It makes you sick
If pain is what you want
Then I'll go

*I thought looking into a mirror would help reveal what I truly want, but it's just echoing my compounding misery.

Music is my mindset
So If I'm seeking space
You'll hear it through harsh vocals
If I seek lust and desire
Harmonious sultry tones surround me
I'll be lost in the music of your body
When I seek happiness

My heart is stamped with an X
But nobody is looking
For this unknown treasure

Heartache hurts
You taught me that
When you tore my heart in half
Now your heart is breaking


What a shame

With the last match in my box
I'll set myself alight
So you may feel the warmth

One solemn tear doesn't even last
As it's vaporised by the heat
Of this lonely broken heart

Her ink adorns the page
Artistic ink adorns her skin
Visceral words, beautiful soul
No words to describe her eloquence
That haven't been used before.

Due to her I'm inspired again
From the beauty of the poetess
Words, mind, soul, look.
A.M
She's got it all.

Pause.

Observe the situation.

Breathe slowly.

Get ready

Psych yourself up...and prepare to face the outside world.

They see your words as profound
I see right through them.
They see your mind as wonderful
I see it for it's truth
Manipulative
Spiteful

Your abhorrent observation
On how death is just some joke to you
I know I won't be making it to heaven
But you have a special place in hell

Unrelenting
emotioN
Ruining
existencE
Questioning
yoU
I'm
lefT
Em­pty
depresseD

How can I be sure I'm asleep
When my nightmares...
Are manifestations of my reality

I've not picked up the pen in a while
It feels alien to the touch
Former flowing words
Now barely drip

This paper so cold to the touch
Which used to be so warm
My canvas of former dreams
Now stares back like a nightmare

Vacant eyes and soon to be scars as blood is dripping from wounds self inflicted. Short breaths and relief.

*I can feel again

These last 11 days.
I lost 2 people I love.

She was the object of my desires and it seems she's still seeks an old flame that's already burnt out. He was my main inspiration, he suffered with his own personal demons and tragically took his own life.

I've made a huge *** of myself before to both of you, I am sorry for that.

Blaming you for seeing in them what I see in myself and being petulant about the outcome, Blaming you for your demons and not being by your side.
I'm so sorry  

These last 11 days.
I lost two people I love

In bloom again, there vibrant colors parade in the sunshine. Pendulous teardrops sway in the wind, colour vibrant. Peacefully amongst the bluebells these plants lie. They catch my eye from a mile away. Oh how beautiful.

Crying
For no reason again
Questioning
Why am I even here
Darkness
It's 4:40am right now
Thoughts
End it all
End it all
End
It

I have no belief in Heaven
But I'm living in Hell

Under the sheets of the double bed
Lies the lonely poet, only a pillow too hold
The exasperated sigh, followed by a single tear
This will be a night like many others.
Cold like winter

My oxygen mask is isolation
Save me from this desolation
Oh so help me someone
From the villain that is myself.

Invading my mind
My composure is cracking

Frustrated, the urges rise
Underneath the skin my blood boils
Relenting to the feeling within
I'm shaking, someone hold me down
Oh how did I forgot this feeling
Unstable, I'm about to explode
Shelter me from myself.

If heaven is real, that's where you are
I hope you're enjoying the hospitality
An angel now with beautiful wings
Please watch over us
We need you...I need you
Enjoy the peace
I love you
I miss you
R.I.P darling

The

(Today)

Words

(Is)

Between

(My)

The

(First)

S­paces

(Good)

Mean

(Day)

The

(In)

Most

(The)

But

(Longest)

Say

(Time)

The

(Hallelujah)

Least

You're shouting at shadows
Expecting witty response
When the only shadow following you
Is the one of your former self.

The one who loves you like I did
The one yet to see the real you
The one who broke my heart

Fragility of the glass heart that shatters into pieces, to be mended one day, by the owner itself. Then trusted with in the hands of another.

It's funny isn't it
Someone tattoos your mind from time to time
That buzzing itch of a fleeting memory
That flash bulb photograph of their smile
That split second recall of their voice
Do they think of you
Do you tattoo there mind
Or are you a discarded polaroid
A memory once had

You're another name in the archive filed under Creative, articulate and attractive. Your the first one that made it too the true love folder.

Maybe that's not what you want to hear, what you desire. But it's the truth. You're the one who invaded my black heart.

Frozen in admiration.
I thought it was lust at first
But no, not even close.
You invaded my mind
I'll gladly surrender
It's better than thoughts of death

What breaks first the heart or the mind. Or is it the combination of the both that lead you blind.

'cause when you love and lose it cuts deep. All that's left is memories of pain etched for you to keep.

Silence followed by rumbles
An eerie haunting hum disturbs rock
Droning sound surrounds all
Like a ship coming into land
One long blasting note
Turning into a cacophony of noise
Palpations, dry mouth and sweat
Adorn the man who just left home
With anxiety in his backpack