What if dying isn't death

If when we leave this world…


The weight of it is simply off our chest

When we take that final breath

We live the most memorable of moments all over again

But this time…


We’re at our best


What if only the best of memories replay

All the sadness,

The shame,

The madness

The blame and the anguish…


What if they’re cast away

What if it's like waking up to not just another day

If only the happiness is the feeling that stays


What if…

Death is truly the end of all pain

If love is all we retain


What if…

The night sky…


And all the stars from above

Is all that remains


But...

I’m wondering about those stars

They too some day die

So…

What if we’re like stars…


We only shine bright when alive

Just a small light in a vast world that one day burns out…


What if the weight of the world’s what living life’s all about

All the people,

The places,

The sorrow and joyous filled faces…

  

Each of our books of life and their;

Some better,

Some worse but…


Still lively filled pages…


Are what leaves those we leave behind with heartbreak and…


Sorrow filled grievance…


What if our memory is truly all that's left when we pass into the unknown

An empty bed in a place we once called our home

A place where in our old age we had grown…



What if our lasting legacy is only the moments in which we shared an experience

If...

The wisdom,

The kindness,

And the hard work filled progress…


Is all we leave behind

If we only leave what we project into those empty filled spaces

In our loved ones' hearts and loved ones' minds…


I wonder what I'll see when I'm staring up at the ceiling or sky…


Somewhere down the line…

Life hanging by a thread

Watching the story of my life as it flashes by...


Will there be regrets,


Goals never met,


Things never said,


Thoughts trapped in my head…

Or...

Will I be able to say

I did all that I could

Willing to die without needing to lie…


T o  m y s e l f


What if…


The money we made


The status we gained


The list of the people we blame

For the shame on our name…


If none of that ever really matters when our…


Book of life comes to an end…


What if

It was only ever about the mark on everyone's hearts we ingrained


If like stars we burn out but…


Just burn out much faster

The difference for us is…


No tomorrow can be guaranteed


If...

This life…

Was the only book you could write

If tomorrow was your final chapter…


Can you say your book of life was the best it could be


Like only the greatest of books

When they end...

They leave the world with sadness and grief

With…

Wonderment and pure disbelief

If your life was the best it could be

Can you close your eyes

Fall into that endless sleep

Feel your heart's final beat

Come to a close as you cease to breath


And go satisfied…


K n o w i n g   y o u r   b o o k   o f   l i f e ' s   w o r t h   t h e   r e a d

By the time you read this...

I will have faded and frayed

Gone and decayed

Like pencil on paper

I've been erased


By the time that you read this

You may be afraid

Of what they may say

But don't be ashamed


By the time that you read this

I know you'll be grown

I know you'll be changed

Yet...

Deep down

I know you're the same


By the time that you read this

I'll have hoped and have prayed...

That you became your own person

Not just a slave


By the time that you read this

I hope you'll be proud...

Of the life that you’ve made


Now that you're reading this

I'd just like to help you remember

I'd just like to help us and convey

We had a dream once

The world was something we'd change

But now it's just you

I've been away

Now...

It's just you


By the time that you read this...

Ten years have gone by

Since I promised I'd stay

Emotions can cause such endless commotion,
They can go from the weakest to highest waves…
Then deep deep down
They can dig the deepest of shallow graves…

Battered and scarred is what happens when you take emotions so far

The tidal waves begin to crash and sway as it falls apart and begins to wash away the remnants of a shattered heart

Nightmares...

are like poetry,

At least metaphorically,

The metaphors are like falsified honesty,

So unreal and yet they express how we really feel,

Maybe that’s why we cannot dream

When we feel insane,

Because are honest nightmares are now the real deal,

So we lay still,

Eyes open,

Reality broken,

Stuck hoping,

That the ceiling has the answers

But it's shy

It hates talking,

We lay there thinking

What this life is,

What it represents,

Waging wars in our heads,

It’s a crisis of identity

When all the past mistakes

Leave so many things unsaid,

When those big dreams of the past have gone and fled,

Laying in our comfortable but uncomforting bed,

We ask ourselves

Who we could have been,

Who we could be,

If only those shooting stars could grant our wishes and help us see,

If each star in the sky...

Gave each person their identity,



If only it was that easy…

I guess for now we’ll just stay stuck...

With these identity crises

S.O.S.

We all used to fear the dark whether we admit it or not.
Just take a few seconds to develop your thoughts…
We used to fear getting lost
The fear of never being found
But then we grow up and our fears are flipped upside-down…
We went from being afraid of the dark,
To fearing spiders,
Then turn 18 and begin going out late,
Pulling all-nighters…
Now let's just think...
Sit-back…
And realize,
Other people could be our real-de-mise…
And since we're now talking about real-life,
Let's look at who's committed the most crimes…
And determine where evil sins really-have-been.
Terrorism provoked by optimism.
A race unwilling to combat conflict without bloodshed.
Unwilling in the fulfilling of world peace…
But instead…
Prefer to count the number of dead…
I am not afraid of the boogie man,
I am afraid of the rich man,
The religious man,
The army man and yes…
Even the police man,
And I know plenty of other people who also aren't a big fan…
I'm terrified because I just can’t-see-why…
So many people die within the borders of a country…
Protected by one of the world’s strongest military.



You see if I become a soldier,
The boogie man may not catch me but a bullet sure can.
Fathers and sons fighting to defend from the outside world…
One we think's so cold...
When children in our own schools have been on the receiving end…
Of gun men.
We look at the world around us and provoke hate,
Yet demand so much peace …
Then behind a closed gate  
We advance weaponry…
To greaten the casualties of our enemies...
Rather than promote farm fields in starving countries.
Think about this…
Now let's look at the sadistic statistics…
Two million seven hundred fifty-six thousand one hundred and fifty-three
That's how many human beings were killed in the in Conflicts Involving the Americans ever since the Revolutionary War happened...
Back in Seventeen Seventy-Five to the present-day Isis,
Not to mention,
The one war with the most casualties and gore
Is known to have the word civil in it and...
Started only because we were enslaving other men…
Need I say more ...
Don’t you wish we could rewind time?
Talk out the problems and maybe all those people would be fine…
Rather than found dead,
Counted,
Then put in a record sheet of weaponry…
To create an effective deterrent against a World-War-3…



We all know somewhere more evil will emerge
Encourage violence…
Form alliances…
And then eventually overpower provinces…
Before anyone deemed powerful can stop-all-this.
Now I’m not saying humanities a monster,
And the only threat to humanity is our own lack of civility,
Even though we hide nukes like every other powerful country,
Or that every American politician emphasizes on the greatness of education…
Yet lack willingness to lower the tuition…
And instead, raises it above the workingman's paycheck.
Causing them to slave on the weekends,
Feeling tired like he’s at his weakest,
Instead of spending time working on his dreams which are now just old friends.
Or the fact everyone blames our access to guns for crimes of society and then begin to obsess
When actually,
Way back when…
Firearms were created by men
Such pointlessness…
How everyone's so unserious and delirious…
Over the lifelessness of our distant relatives,
Our unofficial cousins and sacred brotherin.
WE ARE ONE RACE…
The Human Race,
And I can honestly say that the evil of humanity …
   Seems to outweigh the good when it comes to reality …


We all may hear these words and realize them but there truly just a warning.
You see I’ve been dreaming….
That this generation makes up for humanities sins,
Not punished with pain but are rewarded for kindness,
The reward of fixed bricks of a world rather than ones broke and crumbling; Stacked in an unstable mix of pain suffering lies and tricks.
You have it in you to stay true to what is good and what is great,
All I'm asking is not to succumb to the same fate…
Caused and created by the corrupt governments and dictatorships,
By racist haters and religious degraders,
The unimaginative politician,
The biased lawmen, and created by
Destructive weapons wielded by unmoral nations.
We are America
The land of the free,
Don't be afraid to be young and naive.
Let's make this the world of the free,
Rather than a world full of greed and one so full of need
But one closed off to the free will of evil….
“Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed” Said Martin Luther King Junior.
If only people had realized his words sooner.
He is an example that one man can change the world.
Don't let a destiny created by others unfold and take hold,
Sometimes a man must first walk alone and on his own path to show simply that he can,
And remember
Life won’t get easier…
You’ll just get stronger,
Holding onto dreams a lot longer than most can ponder so let's allow
Knowledge,
Success,
and Kindness…
Become the roots of our Happiness.
Because right now…
It’s just not fair you see…
That all these blaring sirens…
Are drowning out the sounds…
Of our sanctuary

I sincerely hope this is only temporary

W h o   w o u l d   h a v e   t h o u g h t   t h i s   p a s t

How long one man's past would last
It was on his mind
On his mind he would clearly find his thoughts running the wrong way down the line

But he burned the bridges because his intuition said to ignite sins
To watch them burn away to no return
The painful beauty of a clear conscious he would someday learn

The fire of the rising sun that set the pace for a new day had  blazed away the pain as he gave a gaze across the open plains that were his opportunities in disarray

Like wild game he set his sights on the biggest one with his loaded gun but the distance the bullet had to travel had become more elaborate as the landscape that was life began to unravel…

It's hard to say from where he stands...

Where exactly in the distance his bullet lands

Something he realized one night
Is there's only one shot at life
Which path is right
Which path is wrong

These thoughts made his nights seem so long
He hung his head

His patience didn’t pay
He took too long to take a shot
His opportunity had fled
It got away

He tried to chase it but this opportunity wasn't so patient
He wouldn't give up though
He wouldn't face it
He kept on searching
He couldn't embrace it
He suddenly lost the trail
He doubled back
Trying to retrace it
But the dust had set in
A storm was brewing
The sun was setting
The darkness was soon to set in
He tried to get through the night
It would be 3 years until he would see sunlight

Somewhere down that line
He had lost sight
Lost his might

All will to fight the darkness
To live his life
Just as he fell to the ground…

He raised his head and gave one final gaze across the darkened plains…

In the distance were two white eyes staring back so bright
His opportunity approached as the man made his way to his knees
It was a fearsome lion but it invoked no fright  
It helped raise him to his feet
It gave him hope
The sun began rising
It rose to its peak

The lion with it’s golden mane guided him through the plains
Through the desert
Over each sandy *****
Through the mountains
Over each of the ragged stones
Through the swamps
Through the thickest of groves
Passed the marshes
Through the thickest of fogs
It led him through the unknown  

It led him the whole way
It had led him home
He realized that lion
Once his opportunities
Was now his dreams
He would never again be alone
It led him through life
Who would have known

Now this man is in his older age
Now in this man's present days...
He gives a gaze in the mirror
He sees a lion with a golden mane

He smiled as it smiled back but something changed

He finally asked who the lion was…

I t  s a i d  t h e  m a n's  n a m e

In the end it seems
That man from such a darkened past
Is now living his dreams

L i v i n g  h i s  d r e a m s  a t  l a s t

Set me aside
Just set me aside
Leave me behind
Hung out to dry

Set me aside
Just set me aside
Do not shed a tear
Do not cry
You know I'll be fine
Keep peace of mind

Set me aside
Just set me aside
If it's the end of our era
If it’s the end of our time in your eyes

Set me aside
Just set me aside
Left in the dark
Without you I'm blind
Without you I’m dying
But as long as you still feel alive
As long as you find the light
I’ll keep saying I'm fine

Set me aside
Just set me aside
I will go willing
I will not fight
I was wrong
So, you were right
To set me aside

You set me aside
Yet even still
When it all goes awry
If you start falling
Call on me
And I will arise

A place in my heart
I've set inside
If your world starts crumbling
I’ll swallow my pride
Call on me
And I will arise

If you’re lost in the dark
I've been here awhile
So, I’ll be your guide
Call on me
And I will arise
When your wings are broken
I’ll be your angel
I’ll help you fly
Call on me
And I will arise

It was not a lie
When I told you I'd love you
Until the day that I die

If you call on me

I’ll set life aside

For you

I will arise

Can't you see you're hovering
High up off the ground
Clear as day above me
Always looking down
Whisper with a glance
As loud as silence sounds
Ringing in my ears
Judging with a frown
I see those eyes they stare
When there's no one else around
What's it like up there
With that golden crown
Do you feel admired
While I sit here all alone
Do you have an emptiness
He then stopped me as I spoke
All though there's admiration
It's still a lonely throne
He told me not to get there
Having nowhere left to go
If you think you found your calling
Make sure its not bestowed
Others try to trick you
False truths that they behold
Do not take there help
For in the end you'll only owe
Though it may not sound as glorious
You have to travel many roads
They will not all be glamorous
But soon you'll find your own
I screamed and said I've tried
Though, nothings quite at home
He said to look alive
That was many years ago
The keys to keep on trying
No matter what the journey holds

You try

And try

And try again
Until you reach your goals

One man's life....
he's the creative type,
even despite....
His lack of freedom to use it in a fair fight,  
he ain't taught right they keep saying but there's a quote that keeps replaying and rewinding and it seems to be constantly reminding and finding its way into his head....
into my mind....
making me give it deep thought...
Keeping my attention constantly caught,
Let me tell you what this saying said ....

"creativity is a part of human nature,
it can only be untaught."-Ai Weiwei

so apparently I was taught right even though I stay up late nights,
had no other choice,
nowhere for my thoughts to go so...
all this emotion...
I hope it makes these lines flow because I'm just expressing the freedom creativity-is-giving-me ...
Life builds up then comes crashing down so how does freedom sound...
Great but it sparks a lot of debate,
what it means to be free,
what it means to stay true to what others can't see.

Who do you need to be or want to be,
hope you're taking this seriously because it's your life on the line while I'm writing this rhyme to pass time,


I tend to find a peace of mind that no one these days would spend a dime to realign with reality and find their place becuasewe all suffer humanity...

it just comes in different forms of insanity...

Stay tentative-to-your-feelings before they get to the extent-I've-been dealing  because we try to repent but our minds are unwilling
So all these thoughts,
into this next verse I'm spilling,
these rhymes I been drilling harder n harder into this paper till it's to the extent and the length the height from the top to the base is so great you gotta say hold up,
wait....
I ain't ready...

But it's too late,
can't change fate,
already too much on your plate time to grind or commit the crime that is false hope
When life sends a clue...
don't pass the note that's a notion of the answer to all this commotion  that tells you which path to set your devotion because although distortions-high I can still see off in the distance a sunny-shore-line....
but rough seas ahead,
can't turn back,
the tidal waves on your ***,
get the gears going instead before too much time has passed  


They say it's all so easy but we all know that thought never lasts because you can't change the past but you can forge the future,
Straighten up,
have a better stature because we have to learn so early how to mature in a world so unworldly,
it tends to send you hurling outta control but you press pause your feet stand still but your mind stalls,
now the world's spinning,
ask for it to stop but it’s unwilling
That's life in a place where hard-work and effort sometimes never suffice,
sometimes the worlds as lucky or unlucky as a roll of the dice but that's the price we pay in the world we live in today where behind a thousand thoughts is only one-action...
but forgot to mention the amount of care the world's-lacking You give it your all but even then,
in the end
It still sends you  packing

Locked inside

Feeling left out

Living life but life's locked out

Hopes and dreams

Love and laughter

Here for moments then gone so long right after

Helpless thoughts

Within a crowded home

Happiness hides in the basement

While sadness steals the show

Motivation lacks as madness lapses

Running laps around bad habits

Wasting time on time to go’s

Stick around but just for show

No peace of mind until we're lavished

Gone out of mine to find the meaning but still can't grasp it

They say to live your life as if you're dying

Every second counts yet life's untimely

But what's the point when living blindly

Futures fate

The pasts behind me

Took a chance

But life's denied me

Lost my faith

Got it back

By a thread

About to snap

Here I sit

Trying to stand

Fight the demons

Be a man

Lost in the ocean

Cant find land

Life's a struggle

No upper hand

Empty notions

Glass half full

Lost my way

So long ago

Now im caged

Stuck in a hole

Fleeting strength

The depth just grows

I  must be willing

This I know

Climb back up

However slow

Do not wait

Get up and go

Times against me

Stop saying no

Afraid of heights

But feeling low

Use all my might

Trudge through the snow

I will not stop

Until I'm happy

Until I’m whole

I will not stop

I  w i l l  n o t  s t o p

Until I reach my goals

I withstood the pressure
Then I took the time
I stole back my life
And remade it mine
I took the heavy hits
I took the heavy blow
I fell from an all time high
Then said "look out below"
I've been through the worst
Yet I've seen it done before...

So I am not the first

Like the waves
Like the summer sun
We all rise and fall
So that dream
It's still plausible  
Although illogical
It's not impossible...

From personal experience I say…

Stay standing tall
I had a dream...

Many years ago...

I once came to a rough point
I decided to just go with the flow

My dreams
I let them go...

But recently...
I've had those moments
When time starts to slow
Lost in my thoughts
No idea the path to go
Clueless to which path to travel
All those dreams of the past
Began to unravel as I realized

Life's too fast to only dabble
I began to fathom my fate
I stepped out from the shadows
Felt my eyes dilate
Then and there I started seeing  the bigger picture
I have to weigh the risks that I take
If there is no opportunities...

Then opportunities I'll make

Late at night I often lay awake and late last night I was thinking about how I have a clean slate...

I finally shut my eyes and fell asleep

In my dreams that night I was called by a young boy who said he'd like to meet

I took the offer and we met on the corner of my neighborhood street.
His height was only a few feet  
Clearly,
He was still young and naive.

We conversed a lot about what it means to set yourself free and we often agreed
There was one thing he said before I awoke that helped myself finally see...

He said...
He was a younger me

He went on to say...
In order to change fate
In order to be free
You have to use imagination
You have to learn to  c r e a t e
Sure you've made mistakes
Cry me a river
Build a bridge and get over it ...
Even if afterwards it still hurts a little bit...

All those who said to grow up
To give up
Said that your dream,
It's not possible

Said it's stupid
Said it's dumb

Said you're good at it but you're not the one…

If you learn to  c r e a t e your own
f a t e

You'll grow up to be  g r e a t ...

Maybe even the g r e a t e s t...

But it's true...

L i f e   i s   o n l y   w h a t . . .

w e  - m a k e  - i t

If you block it all out
If you ignore all their hate

Y o u ' l l   l e a v e  a l l   o f   t h e m…

I n  y o u r  w a k e