I'm afraid of what others think
And what they will see
I'm not perfect at all
I'm scared to be me

So many faults
Too many I'm afraid
Not happy at all
With choices I've made

Life moves along
It's direction can be swayed
Don't care what others think
It's your life don't be afraid

Do you know what it feels like to be all alone?
To be in a room where everyone is talking
But no one is listening
They just stare at their phone

You could be yelling, or whispering
Or saying nothing at all
In return you receive a blank stare,
An empty smile, that makes you feel small

So you sit all alone
Not knowing what to do
You think "if they cared, they'd help. Right?"
But you're not them, and they're not you

Whatever decision you make
You know will be wrong
You think you're moving forward
But you've been moving back all along

You're surrounded by people but still feel alone
In your bed, in your car, in your room
It's where your most comfortable
Being alone is your home

Being alone by yourself
You have no one else to blame
You're no one's burden
And you're no one's shame

It's not your imagination
What you're feeling is real
It's just not made up
It's really how I feel

He's just being lazy he's not sick
There's nothing wrong He looks too well
Just walk a mile in my shoes
And you'll walk alone thru my Hell

Don't get too close
I said what I had to say
Knife blade razor sharp
My thoughts too dark and gray

No peace of mind
Storm brewing in my head
A gust of wind causing havoc
From my wrist is where I bled

The warmth of your breath on my neck
In my arms I hold you tight
I kiss your lips so softly
Our bodies glowing in the light

I feel your breath quicken
As our bodies begin to move
Two become one
As our bodies find their groove

You and I united
We finish with a gasp
Our bodies release their pleasure
With our love tightly held in its grasp

In a world fueled by anger and hate
So much despair and regret
There can only be one saving Grace
That saving Grace? Bars of chocolate

That's bars, with a "s" at the end
Not one, but many like plural
I'm a Chunky boy, not a lightweight
Have you ever tried a See's truffle?

Snickers, Resses Cups and M&M's
A smooth creamy Milky Way
If I'm sad or if my mood is ****** up
Chocolate will definitely take it away

So many, many kinds of chocolate
That you can throw into the mix
Dark, milk or white you decide
Like being the left or right side of a Twix

Bacon covered in chocolate
Chocolate potato chips are so good
One more small bite, no I shouldn't
Oh Henry! Shut the hell up! Yes, you should!

Unwrapping a bar and it's goodness
Coconut? Almond Joy or a Mounds
I'll take chocolate over gold on Payday
To me more precious, pound for pound

If you had to decide, *** or chocolate?
For me that decision is hard
My sweettooth is bigger than my ******
So break me off a piece of that Kit Kat Bar

All races joining together
To help protect the weak
Voices and cries of outrage
For respect is what we seek

Violence leads to more violence
While cooler tempers try to speak
The words falling on deaf ears
For respect is what we seek

Pay no mind to our skin color
If you do our future is bleak
We are all of God's children
For respect is what we seek

We need to rise above this madness
The protests need to be heard
Senseless killings need to stop
Respect and justice is what we ALL deserve

The colors in my dreams are true to life
So much so that I'd rather not dream

Here lays someone
You all hardly knew
The darkness is his head
With each new day just grew

He asked for help
But no one could see
His plea went unaswered
That's just reality

Some couldn't be bothered
Others said they didn't know
Really? You couldn't
What? His pain didn't show?

Now it's too late
Now maybe you'll believe
Next time someone asks for help
Just help, so you won't need to grieve

I pretend to laugh
Even when I want to cry
I pretend to live
Even when I want to die

I pretend that I'm in control
Even when I'm not
I pretend to move forward
Even when I know I've stopped

I pretend to believe there's hope
Even when I'm not so sure
I pretend that the medicine is helping
Even when I know there is no cure

I pretend that I'm getting better
Even when I know its not true
I pretend that isn't real
Even when I know that I do

Life is so unexpected
and your tomorrow is not guaranteed
Fate snaps its fingers
Leaving loved ones only to grieve

Your memories we share
and so many tears we have shed
The pain so surreal
Thinking of our last words that were said

We take comfort to know
You're not in pain anymore
And that you're looking down
Upon us from Heavens Door

We hope you know
That you're missed and are loved
Your with mom, dad and your bro's
Angels now watching us from above

Life is so unexpected
and your tomorrow is not guaranteed
Fate snaps its fingers
Leaving loved ones only to grieve

Your memories we share
and so many tears we have shed
The pain so surreal
Thinking of our last words that were said

We take comfort to know
You're not in pain anymore
And that you're looking down upon us
With a smile at Heavens Door

We hope you know
That you're missed and were truly loved
Your with mom, dad and your brothers
Angels now watching us from above

We all struggle as a person
But as humanity we don't have hope
Struggles are real for many
Humanity, we can't find away to cope

We can rely on others
But as humanity we don't have hope
Tomorrow so bright for some
Humanity, we're at the end of our rope

We look out for our brothers
But as humanity we don't have hope
We would want to help everyone
Humanity, it's out of our scope

We shouldn't give up on ourselves
But as humanity we don't have hope
To keep our future alive
Humanity is what we should promote

Poems have been written
Songs have been sung
Some have lost it
While others have won

It's hard to keep in
Once it's been let out
It can start as a whisper
And end in a shout

It can fuel a passion
It can weaken the strong
Some will try to hide it
For others they will long

I'll never let it go
You're a gift from above
You're in my heart, in my soul
You're my blessing, you are Love!

I'm jealous of the sun
How softly it caresses your skin
Your loving touch
Clears my conscious of its sin
I'm jealous of the moon
How your eyes look deeply into its light
Your laughter a soft breeze
On a warm summers night

I'm jealous of your words
Intimately falling from your lips
The definition of passion
The passion from our first kiss
I'm jealous of life
I can only live but one
It's a gamble you take
And yet some how I've still won


So many times I've asked
Why did you picked me?
You answer always the same
You and I were meant to be

That Morning started off grey
But no one could tell
What little light that broke through
Started to warm up my cell

This room was no prison
It's doors do not lock
Solitude was your punishment
Your sentence, each tick of the clock

Time is your enemy
Your thoughts are its home
You think you'd feel better
While the demons out rome.

These demons come back
They hunger, they feel
Their appetite your bad thoughts
Your soul is their meal

They swallow the truth
And lies are spit out
It's starts as a whisper
But ends with a shout

So much is said
But none of it true
The Words are used for pain
That leaves bruises black and blue

Harsh these words come out
And they're aimed right at me
You were cornered you said
Never believing in me

It hurts what you said
Made me feel I didn't belong,
You said to move away
You were right and you were wrong

So I hide in my room
In the house, I once called home
Never wanting to leave
No where to go roam

Our time was cut short
I gave from my heart
The past thrown in my face
I was the problem from the start

My thoughts need to rest
Peace of mind is my goal
I can hear the music playing
Reaching out to touch my soul

You can appreciate all music
If you open up your mind
When it reaches out to you
In your heart it will entwine

Let the melody carry you
Far far away
Open up your heart
And let the music play

I was once your world
Now just an afterthought
We planned our future
Now you've forgotten our past
We dreamed together
Now a nightmare apart
I loved you then
I still love you now

If you had one chance to make one wish
What wish would you ask?
It seems so simple but harder than it seems.
A difficult and daunting task.

Fame, glory or wealth?
Eternal youth would be so splendid.
Never getting old.
But loved ones lives will have ended.

Being able to see into the future?
Or being to read peoples thoughts?
Would you really want to know?
If they liked you or if they did not?

Wealth won't make people like you
A big house just the same
If you want to make your mark
Live your life without shame

I don't want popularity or extravagance
For me a simple wish would do
I would wish for peace of mind
With that so much more can come true

I'm not as young as I used to be
But not old enough to be mature
I do realize now my mistakes
Hurting my parents, many times I'm sure

So many emotions growing up
Love, happiness, sorrow and pride
I thought I knew everything about life
Not realizing how long it's ride

The more I grow older
The less I know
Life and it's lessons
My parents tried to show

Stubborn and bitter
The feeling of resent
Now that I have children
I know what my parents meant

Unconditional love
Looking what was best for me
When I look at my children
With my parents eyes I now see

To my parents I'm sorry
For all the pain that I caused
If I become half the parent you were
My life I would applaud

I'm not as young as I used to be
But not old enough to be mature
I do realize now my mistakes
Hurting my parents, many times I'm sure

So many emotions growing up
Love, happiness, sorrow and pride
I thought I knew everything about life
Not realizing how long the ride

The more I grow older
The less I know
Life and it's lessons
My parents tried to show

Stubborn and bitter
The feeling of resent
Now that I have children
I know what my parents meant

Unconditional love
Looking what was best for me
When I look at my children
With my parents eyes I now see

To my parent I'm sorry
For all the pain that I caused
If I become half the parent you were
My life I would applaud

I said I love you, and you asked "Why me?"
There's no one thing I can say
You are all that I ever wanted
I find something new to love every day

It's not how you look or what you do
It's not your smile or your smell
All these and so much more
Because of you the reasons that I fell

There's no such thing as the perfect love
It's nothing we can see
You may not be the perfect person
But you're the perfect one for me

A brief moment in life caught forever
Shaped by the past and influencing the future
An image so striking and so bleak
It's says nothing but speaks volumes
It brings out emotions from deep within you
Provoking, judgemental, intimidating, humiliating
Persuading, praising, encouraging, hoping
You stare deeper and more profound
Nothing has changed but nothing has stayed the same
Familiarity overcome by ignorance
Pride outshined by modesty
The photograph an effigy of yourself in a reflection forever captured but soon forgotten.

How do you argue with perfection?
Why do you still dispute information gifted to you while you were struggling to resolve an issue that you unknowingly overlooked?
How can you accept that their capacity of knowledge surpasses the totality of all those that know them combined?
How do you generate a response: tactfully, respectfully, cautiously, diplomatically, emphatically and politely?
Unable to contest the information provided to you in such a professional and personable yet profoundly condescending manner I ask again, how do you argue with perfection?
When given the chance to reply, a wise man will solemnly retort in a defeated tone simply, humbly, gratefully and lovingly "Yes Dear!".

I came across a picture today
Just browsing the web for awhile
A picture of some regular people
And I fell in love with their smile

Just regular people enjoying life
It's something I wish I could do
Their eyes bright and full of life
Their happiness you can feel thru n thru

I know I can and one day I will
Have a beautiful life and lifestyle
One day people will see a picture of me
And say I fell in love with his smile

We never saw you cry
The pain you hid for so long
You thought no one cared about you
You could have never been so wrong

You always had a smile
In truth it hid the tears
You inner demons called to you
Those demons that caused you fear

It was us that let you down
You are not to blame
We should have seen the signs
My head I lower in shame

You are no longer here
And part of me has died
This guilt I'll have forever
The guilt of your suicide

Tattoo

The skin on my body a canvas
An artform with needles and ink
It was my choice and my decision
I don't care what others think

The images express who I am
It represents moments in my life
A koi, a dragon, a geisha
The names of my children and my wife

It's an ongoing project
So many hours on the artist's chair
Yes of course it did hurt
And no I don't mind if people stare

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
And beauty is what I see
If you don't like it keep it to yourself
I didn't do it for you, I did it for me

The rain falling
Tears shameful in heavens eyes
Silent the lightning
Thunder heaving a bellowed sigh
Thoughts unbeknownst
No others needed to be warned
Tempest definition;
A violent and windy storm

Unable to control my feelings
I struggle to every day
They ask me how I'm doing
I smile and look away

How can I answer honestly
If I don't know the answer myself
I'd like to say that I'm fine
But even I question my own mental health

It affects every corner of my life
My work, my family and my friends
The depression has taken over
It will be with me until the end

Where does the shore start and where does the ocean end?
The waves that pushes you to shore are the same waters that pulls you deeper into the ocean.
You're caught in the waters currents, struggling to stay afloat.
The ocean with its deepness so vast, so tempting, so dark, so alone.
The shore with its infinite sand so stark, so bright, so alluring, so plentiful.
When you look towards the shore, where do you start and where do you end?

Lines and lines of people
All in a hurry to wait
Once you get pass security
There's another line at the gate

Why is everyone standing?
They didn't call your row!
Take a glance at your ticket
Theres info there you should know

Finally got to my seat
Sitting next to a mom and her kid
He looks sick please don't throw up
****! Too late! I think he already did!!

Only five more hours
Before we reach our destination
Just think in a few days
I get to do this all over again!

The last few days have been hard
Nothing different except my mood
I've pushed all away
No appetite, no sleep, no cares
No happiness, no joy, no love
Only an emptiness inside
That I try to fill in vain