What you get
Sometimes isn't what you see
I've worn too many masks
To hide the real me

Too scared to show
Who I really am
Just a child
In the body of a man

Intimidated by all
My days go by wasted
Bitter sweet
Life's fruit I've tasted

For you, I know
I will stay strong
My love is yours
Until I'm gone

I'm jealous of the sun
How softly it caresses your skin
Your loving touch
Clears my conscious of its sin
I'm jealous of the moon
How your eyes look deeply into its light
Your laughter a soft breeze
On a warm summers night

I'm jealous of your words
Intimately falling from your lips
The definition of passion
The passion from our first kiss
I'm jealous of life
I can only live but one
It's a gamble you take
And yet some how I've still won


So many times I've asked
Why did you picked me?
You answer always the same
You and I were meant to be

All races joining together
To help protect the weak
Voices and cries of outrage
For respect is what we seek

Violence leads to more violence
While cooler tempers try to speak
The words falling on deaf ears
For respect is what we seek

Pay no mind to our skin color
If you do our future is bleak
We are all of God's children
For respect is what we seek

We need to rise above this madness
The protests need to be heard
Senseless killings need to stop
Respect and justice is what we ALL deserve

If you had one chance to make one wish
What wish would you ask?
It seems so simple but harder than it seems.
A difficult and daunting task.

Fame, glory or wealth?
Eternal youth would be so splendid.
Never getting old.
But loved ones lives will have ended.

Being able to see into the future?
Or being to read peoples thoughts?
Would you really want to know?
If they liked you or if they did not?

Wealth won't make people like you
A big house just the same
If you want to make your mark
Live your life without shame

I don't want popularity or extravagance
For me a simple wish would do
I would wish for peace of mind
With that so much more can come true

Things happen everyday
some things make us cry
It leaves only a question
And for me that question is why?

There's no real answer to this question
No matter how hard we try
Still in disbelief
To only question, why?

The outcome doesn't change
We push thru with a sigh
Tomorrow is not guaranteed
We look up and ask why?

Only God knows the reason
The reason we ask why
Put your fate into his hands
For his love we must rely.

Tattoo

The skin on my body a canvas
An artform with needles and ink
It was my choice and my decision
I don't care what others think

The images express who I am
It represents moments in my life
A koi, a dragon, a geisha
The names of my children and my wife

It's an ongoing project
So many hours on the artist's chair
Yes of course it did hurt
And no I don't mind if people stare

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
And beauty is what I see
If you don't like it keep it to yourself
I didn't do it for you, I did it for me

Life is so unexpected
and your tomorrow is not guaranteed
Fate snaps its fingers
Leaving loved ones only to grieve

Your memories we share
and so many tears we have shed
The pain so surreal
Thinking of our last words that were said

We take comfort to know
You're not in pain anymore
And that you're looking down upon us
With a smile at Heavens Door

We hope you know
That you're missed and were truly loved
Your with mom, dad and your brothers
Angels now watching us from above

Life is so unexpected
and your tomorrow is not guaranteed
Fate snaps its fingers
Leaving loved ones only to grieve

Your memories we share
and so many tears we have shed
The pain so surreal
Thinking of our last words that were said

We take comfort to know
You're not in pain anymore
And that you're looking down
Upon us from Heavens Door

We hope you know
That you're missed and are loved
Your with mom, dad and your bro's
Angels now watching us from above

The last few days have been hard
Nothing different except my mood
I've pushed all away
No appetite, no sleep, no cares
No happiness, no joy, no love
Only an emptiness inside
That I try to fill in vain

How do you argue with perfection?
Why do you still dispute information gifted to you while you were struggling to resolve an issue that you unknowingly overlooked?
How can you accept that their capacity of knowledge surpasses the totality of all those that know them combined?
How do you generate a response: tactfully, respectfully, cautiously, diplomatically, emphatically and politely?
Unable to contest the information provided to you in such a professional and personable yet profoundly condescending manner I ask again, how do you argue with perfection?
When given the chance to reply, a wise man will solemnly retort in a defeated tone simply, humbly, gratefully and lovingly "Yes Dear!".

A brief moment in life caught forever
Shaped by the past and influencing the future
An image so striking and so bleak
It's says nothing but speaks volumes
It brings out emotions from deep within you
Provoking, judgemental, intimidating, humiliating
Persuading, praising, encouraging, hoping
You stare deeper and more profound
Nothing has changed but nothing has stayed the same
Familiarity overcome by ignorance
Pride outshined by modesty
The photograph an effigy of yourself in a reflection forever captured but soon forgotten.

I was once your world
Now just an afterthought
We planned our future
Now you've forgotten our past
We dreamed together
Now a nightmare apart
I loved you then
I still love you now

The rain falling
Tears shameful in heavens eyes
Silent the lightning
Thunder heaving a bellowed sigh
Thoughts unbeknownst
No others needed to be warned
Tempest definition;
A violent and windy storm

The colors in my dreams are true to life
So much so that I'd rather not dream

The warmth of your breath on my neck
In my arms I hold you tight
I kiss your lips so softly
Our bodies glowing in the light

I feel your breath quicken
As our bodies begin to move
Two become one
As our bodies find their groove

You and I united
We finish with a gasp
Our bodies release their pleasure
With our love tightly held in its grasp

I said I love you, and you asked "Why me?"
There's no one thing I can say
You are all that I ever wanted
I find something new to love every day

It's not how you look or what you do
It's not your smile or your smell
All these and so much more
Because of you the reasons that I fell

There's no such thing as the perfect love
It's nothing we can see
You may not be the perfect person
But you're the perfect one for me

Unable to control my feelings
I struggle to every day
They ask me how I'm doing
I smile and look away

How can I answer honestly
If I don't know the answer myself
I'd like to say that I'm fine
But even I question my own mental health

It affects every corner of my life
My work, my family and my friends
The depression has taken over
It will be with me until the end

I pretend to laugh
Even when I want to cry
I pretend to live
Even when I want to die

I pretend that I'm in control
Even when I'm not
I pretend to move forward
Even when I know I've stopped

I pretend to believe there's hope
Even when I'm not so sure
I pretend that the medicine is helping
Even when I know there is no cure

I pretend that I'm getting better
Even when I know its not true
I pretend that isn't real
Even when I know that I do

We never saw you cry
The pain you hid for so long
You thought no one cared about you
You could have never been so wrong

You always had a smile
In truth it hid the tears
You inner demons called to you
Those demons that caused you fear

It was us that let you down
You are not to blame
We should have seen the signs
My head I lower in shame

You are no longer here
And part of me has died
This guilt I'll have forever
The guilt of your suicide

When I close my eyes at night
I want to think of you
I want us to be happy
I want to dream of you
I want you in my arms
I want your kiss
I want to know you're there
I want to feel you near me
I want you to feel this way too

That Morning started off grey
But no one could tell
What little light that broke through
Started to warm up my cell

This room was no prison
It's doors do not lock
Solitude was your punishment
Your sentence, each tick of the clock

Time is your enemy
Your thoughts are its home
You think you'd feel better
While the demons out rome.

These demons come back
They hunger, they feel
Their appetite your bad thoughts
Your soul is their meal

They swallow the truth
And lies are spit out
It's starts as a whisper
But ends with a shout

So much is said
But none of it true
The Words are used for pain
That leaves bruises black and blue

Harsh these words come out
And they're aimed right at me
You were cornered you said
Never believing in me

It hurts what you said
Made me feel I didn't belong,
You said to move away
You were right and you were wrong

So I hide in my room
In the house, I once called home
Never wanting to leave
No where to go roam

Our time was cut short
I gave from my heart
The past thrown in my face
I was the problem from the start

Look at the night sky
Make a wish from where you are
On a falling star

Poems have been written
Songs have been sung
Some have lost it
While others have won

It's hard to keep in
Once it's been let out
It can start as a whisper
And end in a shout

It can fuel a passion
It can weaken the strong
Some will try to hide it
For others they will long

I'll never let it go
You're a gift from above
You're in my heart, in my soul
You're my blessing, you are Love!

Do you know what it feels like to be all alone?
To be in a room where everyone is talking
But no one is listening
They just stare at their phone

You could be yelling, or whispering
Or saying nothing at all
In return you receive a blank stare,
An empty smile, that makes you feel small

So you sit all alone
Not knowing what to do
You think "if they cared, they'd help. Right?"
But you're not them, and they're not you

Whatever decision you make
You know will be wrong
You think you're moving forward
But you've been moving back all along

You're surrounded by people but still feel alone
In your bed, in your car, in your room
It's where your most comfortable
Being alone is your home

Being alone by yourself
You have no one else to blame
You're no one's burden
And you're no one's shame

It's not your imagination
What you're feeling is real
It's just not made up
It's really how I feel

He's just being lazy he's not sick
There's nothing wrong He looks too well
Just walk a mile in my shoes
And you'll walk alone thru my Hell

We all struggle as a person
But as humanity we don't have hope
Struggles are real for many
Humanity, we can't find away to cope

We can rely on others
But as humanity we don't have hope
Tomorrow so bright for some
Humanity, we're at the end of our rope

We look out for our brothers
But as humanity we don't have hope
We would want to help everyone
Humanity, it's out of our scope

We shouldn't give up on ourselves
But as humanity we don't have hope
To keep our future alive
Humanity is what we should promote

Where does the shore start and where does the ocean end?
The waves that pushes you to shore are the same waters that pulls you deeper into the ocean.
You're caught in the waters currents, struggling to stay afloat.
The ocean with its deepness so vast, so tempting, so dark, so alone.
The shore with its infinite sand so stark, so bright, so alluring, so plentiful.
When you look towards the shore, where do you start and where do you end?

What gives you hope?
What makes you want to wake up
and face a new day?
What gives you your inner strength?
What makes you smile?
What makes you dream at night?
What makes you a better person?
What gives you peace?
What would make your day complete?
What makes you sigh with happiness?
What do all these have in common?
What?
What could be the answer if you choose to stop.
What could be another question to make you want more.
What is your decision?

Lines and lines of people
All in a hurry to wait
Once you get pass security
There's another line at the gate

Why is everyone standing?
They didn't call your row!
Take a glance at your ticket
Theres info there you should know

Finally got to my seat
Sitting next to a mom and her kid
He looks sick please don't throw up
****! Too late! I think he already did!!

Only five more hours
Before we reach our destination
Just think in a few days
I get to do this all over again!

To all those who served our Country
Putting us before your fear
We salute you on this day
And each and every day of the year

Thank you for your sacrifice
To you Veterans we owe so much
Your courage, honor and bravery
For all the lives you touched

Your service made this country
As a country we're in your debt
This country we're privileged to live in
Make sure to thank a Vet

Putting my thoughts on to paper
Letting the words flow out on their own
Never knew I'd like writing
Breaking out of my comfort zone

Harder than it seems
Trying to express what I feel
Opening my heart and soul
Trying to keep my words real

Looking to what I wrote
From ending to the start
These words have heavy meaning
These words are from my heart

It helps with my hopelessness
Gives me the ability to cope
Writing these words down
Gives me the ability to hope

Them: Why is he alone?
Me: I'm with everyone who loves me


Them: Why is he sad?
Me: It's the only emotion I have left


Them: Why is he crying?
Me: It lets me know I can still feel


Them: Why is he in pain?
Me: It let's me know I'm alive


Them: Why does he smile?
Me: There's nothing else I can do


Them: Why didn't he say something?
Me: I did. You just didn't listen.


Them: Why did he have to do that? Why?

I'm not as young as I used to be
But not old enough to be mature
I do realize now my mistakes
Hurting my parents, many times I'm sure

So many emotions growing up
Love, happiness, sorrow and pride
I thought I knew everything about life
Not realizing how long the ride

The more I grow older
The less I know
Life and it's lessons
My parents tried to show

Stubborn and bitter
The feeling of resent
Now that I have children
I know what my parents meant

Unconditional love
Looking what was best for me
When I look at my children
With my parents eyes I now see

To my parent I'm sorry
For all the pain that I caused
If I become half the parent you were
My life I would applaud

I'm not as young as I used to be
But not old enough to be mature
I do realize now my mistakes
Hurting my parents, many times I'm sure

So many emotions growing up
Love, happiness, sorrow and pride
I thought I knew everything about life
Not realizing how long it's ride

The more I grow older
The less I know
Life and it's lessons
My parents tried to show

Stubborn and bitter
The feeling of resent
Now that I have children
I know what my parents meant

Unconditional love
Looking what was best for me
When I look at my children
With my parents eyes I now see

To my parents I'm sorry
For all the pain that I caused
If I become half the parent you were
My life I would applaud

Don't get too close
I said what I had to say
Knife blade razor sharp
My thoughts too dark and gray

No peace of mind
Storm brewing in my head
A gust of wind causing havoc
From my wrist is where I bled

I came across a picture today
Just browsing the web for awhile
A picture of some regular people
And I fell in love with their smile

Just regular people enjoying life
It's something I wish I could do
Their eyes bright and full of life
Their happiness you can feel thru n thru

I know I can and one day I will
Have a beautiful life and lifestyle
One day people will see a picture of me
And say I fell in love with his smile

In a world fueled by anger and hate
So much despair and regret
There can only be one saving Grace
That saving Grace? Bars of chocolate

That's bars, with a "s" at the end
Not one, but many like plural
I'm a Chunky boy, not a lightweight
Have you ever tried a See's truffle?

Snickers, Resses Cups and M&M's
A smooth creamy Milky Way
If I'm sad or if my mood is ****** up
Chocolate will definitely take it away

So many, many kinds of chocolate
That you can throw into the mix
Dark, milk or white you decide
Like being the left or right side of a Twix

Bacon covered in chocolate
Chocolate potato chips are so good
One more small bite, no I shouldn't
Oh Henry! Shut the hell up! Yes, you should!

Unwrapping a bar and it's goodness
Coconut? Almond Joy or a Mounds
I'll take chocolate over gold on Payday
To me more precious, pound for pound

If you had to decide, *** or chocolate?
For me that decision is hard
My sweettooth is bigger than my ******
So break me off a piece of that Kit Kat Bar