Out of all these poems I've written of love and longing,
Out of all these years searching in the sea of people,
I still yet to understand how it's possible to have words without a muse

I often wonder what it would be like to have a muse without words
I believe it would feel suffocating
As you choke on all the words you long to exhale within your next breath
For a poet to be trapped by words is to be trapped by passion

Sometimes my heart swells up so big it walks across a sea of words and sinks into the deepness of the waters
Lost among the clearer beats on land
An abnormality pushed away from love like an ancient curse buried in my skin
One day i'll make it learn to swim rather than let it sink and bathe in sin

The question still remains
Would it be better to have a muse and feel like drowning,
Or to have the the words to accompany the lonely?

Words are ****** to a poet
When we run out it makes our blood shiver
Our hands tremble and our lips tremor
A muse becomes an addiction
I miss the high of loving you
I crave the way you made me feel
The cravings dig a hole inside me
Allowing the emptiness to win
It's like my bones are bleeding and my veins are freezing
As I sit with a pen in hand and a paper made of sand

I wish that emotions captured in a sentence or two
Could chase away the withdrawal of being away from you

He chased love like a child chases dreams
Like a dog chases its tail
Excited, carefree and hopeful
Like second nature

Daphne was his temple of worship
He turned the ground she walked on
Into precious gold embroidered with jewels
He played songs of love on his golden Lyre
Lovely melodies for her and her alone
But she would never look at him the same
She only saw the caterpillar, never the butterfly

She decided rather than to love him
She would prefer to be wiped from existence
But Apollo never hated her for it
When she was turned into a Laurel tree
He made a crown from her leaves
Wore it with pride around his head
And wept for love that taught him
Even the Gods hearts can bleed for love

He took his ****** heart and let it heal in Troy
He placed it in the hands of the beautiful Cassandra
Who took his love and abused it with insecurity
She pretended to be sincere as she took his gifts
Strung him along with hope trailed behind her
Like cheese in a mouse trap

He gave her the gift of prophecies
And she left him with the agony of abandonment
Thought she was cunning, tricking a god

Do you think she ever thought
about the ways his heart must have sunk when she used him?
Could she see far enough into the future and predict
all of the ways he would reflect
on why he wasn't good enough for her
for all of eternity?
And did she feel remorse?

He gathered his tears and left with his sunken heart once more

Perhaps the only one who truly loved Apollo
Was his dear Hyacinthus, the alluring Spartan Prince
The short time they had together gave Apollo back his hope
His heart had finally healed, mended and repaired once more
But even the mighty god of healing could not save the one he loved

Zephyrus' jealousy and envy stole from him as if the other Gods weren't satisfied with his happiness and cursed him to never find true love
He held Hyacinthus in his arms as he died, trying to heal to no avail
He cursed his weakness as love once more slipped away from his open arms
To commemorate his lover, he sprung a flower from the blood
A hyacinth, a permanent reminder of his grief

He gathered his heavy, grieving heart as he tried to move on, but fate wasn't done with him quite yet

The Princess Coronis had everything she could ever want
But she was selfish and took a piece of Apollo's grieving heart
A piece she never intended to hold in a gentle grasp
A piece she didn't want to cherish or to return
But Apollo was blind to her cruel motives behind her lovely words

He had fallen for her, loved and treasured her so much
He truly believed he had found redamancy at last
And wanted to keep her safe from all harm or sorrow
Keep her away from the wicked hands of the Gods
Like Eros who shot his Daphne with a lead arrow
So that she may never find love in her heart
Like Zephyrus who stole the life of his Hyacinthus
In order to protect his treasured love
A white crow was sent to watch over her

Yet no matter what Apollo did,
Love was not meant for him
It fell through his hands like
Life falls through time
Endlessly and hopelessly

Coronis's affair with Ischys was revealed
And Apollo learned the heartbreak of betrayal
Unlike Cassandra, she didn't return with her life
Apollo shed no tears as he loved for the last time
And left that piece of his heart behind

The innocent white crow
He made to represent his healing heart
Turned black to serve as a reminder
Of the true deception and torture that love can leave behind

Don't look at a God as something to use
As someone who is cruel for no reason
Look into their abuse
Marvel at how they managed to survive even just one more season
And ask yourself if you could do the same

I forget many things
But I have never forgotten
The intensity of your gaze

I am wiser now, more mature
Enough to realize
That you were never to blame

I am the one
Who twisted things

I am the one
Who called you names

I am the one
Who ruined everything

I forget many things
But I will never forget
How I have wronged you

I made you the demon of my past
The starting point of all my anxiety
But really, it all started with me

This is my apology

I liquidate my words with love
As I drink and dine with you
To poison you with my perfect drug
The only stable cure for a world of webs
While you may be caught in mine
I'm no spider but a simple butterfly
Meant to drink the nectar bleeding from your genuinity

I've had many, many goodbyes in my life
But none felt as bitter or cruel as yours
Was my job just to make you feel better for a time
Entertain you until you didn't need me anymore?
To say that you cared then to cast me away so easily
I feel like I am concurrently going through all 5 stages of grief
As if something has been ripped out from within me
Some vital ***** with an unknown function

To say goodbye
Then ask me if I'm alright?
After cutting me down my spine
You ask me if I'm alright?
You've taken my last will to fight
Goodbye never felt so shallow
Goodbye never felt so betraying

It's a sad thing
To be around so many people
And still not feel
As if any of them care for you

It's a sad thing
To see them laugh and love
And still not have
Enough love and laughter

Left for you

I used to think that love
would always be
enough

But my love
however endless
can not save you

Because I've loved you more
than you love yourself
and my heart that beat
for you
could not beat
for yours

Have you ever loved something so much
That you would do any task
Give up any possession
To chase what no one else could see?

In your heart
Have you ever held something so precious
That you would teach a fish to fly
Just to keep it within your grasp?

In my life I accomplished everything I was told I couldn't
I put myself below no one, I refused to face any discrimination
Because with my art I could make the invisible seen to all
I could change emptiness into brilliance
And I could capture an ephemeral moment and make it immortal

I was told countless times to give up for I was destined to fail
But I'd rather have tried and failed
Than live my life regretting that I never did
I am no coward, my paintbrush is my sword
And my canvas is my battlefield

For my art I would turn nothingness into magic
Because with my art I could make magic tangible

Yes, I am a woman
We're forced to say it like a curse
Because the moment we are discovered
Evil eyes of all sorts gaze upon us, questioning and curious

Is she beautiful?
Is her skin like porcelain?
Her hair, is it soft like silk?
Do her eyes shine like the stars?
And her virtue above all else, is she pure?

Men compare us to treasure as if it's a compliment
Saying our eyes are like sapphires and emeralds
To them we are silk and gold
Nothing more than measurements of their wealth
It's as if they think we won't find out it's just another way to measure our worth,
As if they think we can't understand that it isn't a compliment, it's a currency

They don't see my warrior gaze
My impenetrable skin, thick with valor
They look at my hands and see a delicate doll
They don't see the way these delicate hands wrap around my bow
How my eyes are sharp and steady
No, they only see the innocent sparkle

They aren't looking for my capabilities
They seek value in my appearance alone
They are putting prices on me,
Comparing me to the latest trends
For what is my courage worth when I have such a beautiful face?

Yes, I am a woman
But I am a warrior first
See my battle scars, see my victories
See my strength and bravery
My honor, see it an recognize me

I am the protector of women
Not because they can't defend themselves
But because they shouldn't have to
I am the one who shows the truth
Who guides the moonlight into their veins
The one who takes away those sparkling lies
For before my eyes, no woman will bend to the whims of man

Hurt isn't a selfish feeling
It's okay to feel bad
Just because someone else feels bad too
Doesn't mean you can't

Happiness is not a selfish feeling
It's okay to smile, to laugh
You wouldn't say to someone
That because you're happy they can't be

So why are my feelings of pain and joy not relevant to yours?
We all deserve happiness and sorrow
Too much or too little
Will tip the scales
And ruin our balance

Then we'll be left with nothing at all

your words tangle
in my mind, a spiderweb
a mosaic; a garden
your words twist
they splinter, they collide
a million things I have felt
you summarize in a single line
i feel a deep connection in what we share
like looking in a mirror
i see all that could be mine
i see you conquering the world
one sunrise at a time

The anger
The saddness
The loneliness
The fear
The anxiety
The depression
The embarrassment
The regret
Its all temporary
But the story is permanent
Don't lose sight of who you are or who you want to be as you try to fight through these feelings

My favorite season is autumn
It is a time where the old fades into the new
Cycles are ended and cycles prepare to begin

The weather is cool but not freezing
The sky isn't as bright, instead it is full of clouds
The stars always seem brighter in autumn

Especially when they are reflecting off your eyes

I've always been afraid
Of living in a world
Without you there
Because I'm not that brave

I think about sitting at your grave
Leaving flowers
Picking the petals as I tell you about my day

It would never be enough

I think about it way too much
And now reality threatens me
With my nightmare becoming my world

You think one day the hole will heal
That one day I'd be okay
That time would fill your absence

But I couldn't wait for it to fill
I'd fill myself instead with substance
I'd lose myself to losing you

I couldn't follow you in spirit or in soul
But my body and my heart would die and decompose with you

As your body rots so too would I
As your flesh decays and turns to goo
So would mine

As the light leaves your eyes, so too would mine.

If letting go was an easy thing
Then like balloons we'd all be mindlessly drifting
With no hand to hold us, to ground us
We'd soar higher and higher
With no thought of ever coming down

Who'd ever want to come back down to Earth once they've lived among the stars anyway?

The way we danced around the words
Talking about how good things were
The good old days and all the things
That we used to laugh about

But things were good when we were in love
But we learned quick that sometimes
Love is just not enough
But when we look back now

There's only before and after
We dance around the times we were together
There's an unspoken pain we share
All the what if's and "why didn't we's"

Nostalgia breaks my heart
Thinking about our love that was art
And how it all just fell apart
But we just twirl, we just spin

We dance around those words

You are the poetry I wish I could write
Every feeling I get around you
Every word of yours I absorb
Every stare I wish I could immortalize
You are the reason I love to write
You challenge me to describe how I feel
Even when none of these words feel just right
You are the poem I read over and over in my head

The one I wish was mine

I feel trapped inside my own festival
I wish I could run away
I dont want to be myself today
Someone else can take my place
Let me off this lonely stage
Force this day to go to waste

You know that feeling when you look up at the sky
The clouds, The sun
The stars, The moon
And in that moment there is no breathing room
Everything just feels so bizmol

Looking at the vast and wonderful world
The people, The places
The flora, The fauna
I lose my senses and sink into a defenseless thought
Like hey, why the hell am I so small?

I could be a millionare
I could be a movie star, a singer
I could be on every bilboard
But I'm not
I could be a beggar
I could be starving, homeless
I could be drowning in poverty
But I'm not

Yet I always want more
Than what life seems to have in store for me
This life so plain and simple
I hate it but I can't escape it
I try to shake it but it's impossible to do
When it simply won't let go and let me face my doom

You know that feeling when you cry yourself to sleep at night
The thoughts, The torture
The past, The future
And in that moment there is no breathing room
Everything just feels so bizmol

Looking at the vast and wonderful world
The sins, The judgment
The cruel, The demented
I lose my senses and sink into a defenseless thought
Like hey, why the hell am I so small?

I’m sorry for every selfish thought I’ve had
But spending my time living in other people’s lies,
I thought I could at least dream
Of a place where the happiness was mine
But happiness isn’t just a fish that you can catch
It’s not for everyone to handle

Love makes a home in your heart
Carves dens out of your
Flesh, blood and bones
Welding each vessel into itself.

It's a tapestry woven into the soul
Not a garment easily shed or replaced
No mere band-aid, but a sacred mark
Etched upon the very essence of your being.

Love becomes a parasite
And when its had its fill
Love begins trying to tear its way out
From muscle and marrow.

Though when those who mean well say “let it go, move on”
Something so intimately branded on your soul
Will never simply just release its grip
It’s like drowning on land– an invisible, silent killer.

As love finally loosens the hands around your throat
Those phantom fingers, slithering off your skin
Relief is never the feeling that follows
Love leaves lingering devastation in its wake.

Tearing out its roots from where it nestled in your core
Releasing its toxic venom into your bloodstream
A final wound to make your heart bleed and choke
On an internal murky bath of blood and tears.

The extraction leaves you feeling hollow
With love clawing out caverns deep within you
You are left with the remnants of a once cherished host,
And an emptiness that can never be filled.

They say to hold on to love
Because it happens so fast
That good things aren't meant
To last, they come and pass

But when you truly love
It's not a feeling that is fleeting
It isn't so easily shakable
Forgettable or replaceable

It makes a home in your heart
Carves it's den out of your
Flesh, blood and bones
Welding each vessel into itself

It isn't something you can remove
It's not a band-aid you can just rip off
Once it's there, it never truly leaves
It transforms

When it's overstayed it's welcome
Love hurts deeply
As it tries to tear it's way out
From muscle and marrow

Leaving you hollow, with caverns
That can never be filled

Maybe I can't wither or wilt
because I'm not a flower
maybe I'm still just a seed
waiting to sprout into something beautiful,
something powerful enough to take over you
or perhaps I'm already
a garden in full bloom
a gem hidden in a perpetual spring
maybe I've already enraptured you

Tell me world, do I already have you
wrapped around my finger?

The memories feel like walking into spiderwebs
I try to shake them off but I still feel them linger
Beautiful and intricate but broken by my touch
No one thinks about the spiders that get displaced
When we waltz into their invisible silky homes
They'll never weave a web identical to what was lost
I wonder if they sit in their new webs sometimes
Dwelling on the ones they've lost
The same way I'm stuck in the memories
Like I'm caught in the ruins of their losses
And I wish I could feel like the fire in your hearth
But I know I'm the wind that blows it out

Just like the broom that clears the cobwebs

You've ruined the beauty of eyes for me
I decided yours were unrivaled to any other
That there could never be a sight so pure
Even as you walked away that icy hue stayed in my mind
Perhaps that is why I do not like the color blue
It sends shivers down my spine and makes me think of you

Late night phone calls
Conversations and sapphic dreams
Days got so long
I couldn't keep her entertained
It’s haunting and painful
Loving what you can’t hold

Coldness crept beneath the warmth
I thought she gave
Ensnared me; constricting
I couldn’t breathe
Thought I was breathless because I loved her
But she killed me with her sweetness

Worry, confusion
Tainted memories
Agony and heartache
Looking back in vain

I’m blurry, misguided
Troubled and insecure
Uncertain and lonely
Trying to find a cure
To all of my despair
Thought she was something more

Wet and red
As my wrists bled
She was there
In every tear I shed
What a haunting way
To honor
The memory of a ghost

Priestess in my memories
Temptress in my dreams
Why was it so easy?
So easy to leave me?
To hurt me?
How was it so easy to let me go?

I’m still holding on
To all the things I can’t recall
You must have took them all
On our last call
The sound of your laughter
The sound of your voice
Choking on your tears
I still remember

Worry, confusion
Tainted memories
In the tea stained color
Of her eyes
Agony and heartache
Looking back in vain

I’m blurry, misguided
Troubled and insecure
Uncertain and lonely
Trying to find a cure
To all of my despair
Thought she was something more
But I was colorblind, I should’ve known
When our love was blue in a world of red

If you need someone to hold you together let me be the vase to your beautiful bouquet

You are the poetry I wish I could write
Every feeling I get around you
Every word of yours I absorb
Every stare I wish I could immortalize
You are the poem I read over and over in my head
The one I wish was mine

Your words are like luscious braeburn apples
Sweet and transcendent
You are the very definition of oenomel
Combining strength with sweetness

Even when you are far away I feel your presence near me
I feel your gaze, your love, your heart
I can hear the beat as if you were right next to me
Like the heavy bass of a metal song it hits every note
Lulls me into tranquility

You are the reason I love to write
You challenge me to describe how I feel
Even when none of these words feel just right

How can I explain the feeling of your eyes, your smile
How can I define the connection I feel
With such a limited word bank
How could I possibly explain why you feel like poetry to me
Why your words are like a braeburn apple
And why your heartbeat is like the bass of a metal song?

If I could I would illuminate you with more light than this world could possibly contain
You'd be brighter than the sun and all the other stars
Perhaps that would help you understand
Just one drop from my sea of love for you

We always talks about putting our broken pieces back together
Or we speak of mending another with tape and glue
Like stitches that won't undo
But putting the pieces back together wont make them new
Why don't we ever think about picking up each others broken parts
And placing them where ours once were
Instead of fixing a puzzle with missing pieces
Why don't we become art
And fill each other with beautiful parts?

All that you find broken about yourself
All that I find rotten within my hollow shell
Are colorful pieces to complete a work of art
If you take some of me and make it beautiful
Then perhaps one day I too could see the beauty I betray
I'll do the same for you as I collect these magnificent additions
To the masterpiece that I make of myself
One day we will become Mona Lisa and The Starry Night
Not only will we be the art we will become the artists
As grand as DaVinci, as unique as Van Gogh
We will fill this world with our broken art
And make others learn that there is beauty in every splintered part

They didn't write about this in the fairytales of my childhood
They never told me love could fade away
That it is hard to find, but easy to lose

They never gave me forewarning that my heart could be broken by my prince
Or that I could be the breaker of his
Who knew we were given such power, such responsibility?

They never told me there were other princesses roaming in his mind
They never told me of other princes who could catch my eye
Who knew of such dishonesty, such infidelity?

Who knew love was something so fragile?
As if it were porcelain it slips through your fingers so fast
To be shattered like the illusion of the fairytale love story in your mind
When you see the truth a ******* leaves behind

It took looking at your pictures today
To remind me why I deteste your name
Taking them before I didn't know they'd linger with pain
Curse the digital world
Where I can't watch you turn to ash in a radiant flame

There is a bus stop I stand by everyday
Around me is every person who has ever hurt me or let me down
They stand here with me day by day
When the bus comes I'm the last to get on every single time
I stand awkwardly as all of the seats fill
As usual there are no empty seats left for me
I must pick the lesser of my evil's and choose one each day
The heaviness of the fear and panic sink into my core
As I place myself beside one of them once more

Today however as I stood with the others as I stand everyday
I felt their hollow eyes burn into my back
As the bus arrived I saw it load with all these people that detest me
With all the memories that they carry
All the memories that weigh like dumbbells on my being
And for once I just stand there
I do not get on
And I watch as the bus full of all these things I hate
Drives away as another appears

It stops before me and the door opens as the driver beckons me to get in
It isn't my bus, but I still drag my feet forward
As if pulled by an invisible force like a magnet I can't pull myself away
When I enter I see other passengers
Not all of the seats are full, in fact many are empty
But it still feels full, yet not stuffy
I feel welcome as I stand in the aisle of the bus
I'm dragged down by a brown eyed beauty
And I feel like for once I've found my place
Within this bus filling with the things I love, with people I trust

He knelt at the side of her bed
Like a throne or alter
His mind full of hope or surrender
Even he didn't know which it was

He held her hand
Told her he couldn't understand
What she was going through
That he didn't know what would happen

But he told her he'd be there
He'd be her comfort and all her courage
She would see him in her dreams
He would never leave

He swore it like a Knightly oath
With his hand over his heart
He told her tomorrow was uncertain
But today would last forever

And so she never died
She lived forever in that moment
Like a Queen with her fervent strength
A Goddess with her humble tears

She lived eternally within his promise

If you were a candle
You'd be one with a wick
That was cut just a little too short
And I'll scrape the wax around
Just to keep you lit
But I always worry
That if I turn away at the wrong time
Your light will flicker out
And I won't be there to save it

You're sweet like candy
I can only handle you in small doses
Too much will make me sick,
I don't like candy

I only have a sweet tooth if it's you

Coming back to you is the cruelest thing I can do.
Maybe I'm not hoping you'll let me—
I'm begging you to stop me.
It's a car crash, and I'm the one driving.

I dream of you far more than I should
In the day, in the night
I imagine how your arms feel wrapped around me
How our hands would feel linked together
And how our lips would fit against one another
I await the day where you become my everything
I long for your love to wholly and entirely captivate me

Sometimes I get carried away, I turn a few lines into a few stanzas
All that carry the same thought wrapped in different metaphors
Those are my writings that get left behind in the dust

I often forget that my words can stretch around the world five times
Then wrap again back to the axis and far too long to comprehend
They get overshadowed by these shorter laps around the globe

They sink into the far depths of the ocean into the uncharted abyss
They wrap around each other like lace and take breath out from every drowned out idea that I cast into the unforgiving sea

Perhaps this is why they get left unread like unraveled thread that longs to be intertwined within a masterpiece to be marveled upon by the masses and-

I'm doing it again aren't I?

I thought the butterflies in me
All shriveled up and died

But I feel caterpillars crawling inside

Butterfly season's approaching
And perhaps something in me awakens

Spread your wings and make me falter

Out of your chrysalis I beg
For butterflies to flutter again

I can feel your eyes as they bare into my back
I know you are looking without checking
And without thinking I know I'm looking too

I catch you sometimes in reflections
The whiteboard, my laptop screen, the window
I'm not a fool, you can't hide from me

And I suppose neither I from you

It's crazy how much we change
In days, weeks, months
And years building on years
I look back on who I was
The ways I used to feel
Preserved in all my poetry
And it's just not me anymore

It isn't a bad thing—
It's growth
I used to feel as if I couldn't speak
As if I were mute, invisible and unseen
Now my words fill silence
My presence isn't a black hole
And it makes me feel better when I'm sad
When I'm losing hope I look back
At who I used to be when it was bad
And how I've changed

It gives me hope within my chrysalis
That I can still metamorphosize

You are too young for it all
Too young for this much pain
Too young for this much heartbreak
Too young to be chasing halos

The last time we spoke, you hugged me tight
And I felt it then, that hope still in you
That possibility, the light that hadn't gone out
You hugged me tight and I knew
There is still more for you to do

And so I'm begging you to open up your eyes,
Open them and keep them wide

You aren't tired so there's no need for you to sleep
It isn't time to throw in your towel
It isn't time for you to go
It isn't time for you to be chasing halos

When you were smaller I held you in my arms
So sweet, so small, so innocent
You would always smile like you looked up to me
And I knew I had to be good so that you would too
There is still time for you to be anything you dream

So I'm begging you, don't trade your youth for wings

At this point it's not a crush anymore
You love me and I love you
It's like a game of chess
But neither of us know how to play

As a child I was told to never speak about my faith
I felt such fear and shame when my mother said those words
Will they truly burn me at the stake?
My mind was trapped in innocent confusion

I went to church with my grandmother as a child too
They told me my soul would be ****** to hell if I don't bow my head and pray
They said trust in the Lord for I am his child, or sin like Lucifer and be punished in purgatory
With such threats what was I to think?
My love of the moon, kindness to the spirits and adoration for the Earth-
Will it truly make me a sinner, will I really rot in hell?

I bit my tongue and closed my eyes
When I was asked if I believed in God
For I could never say I did
And I feared saying I did not
It felt like I'd be killed on the spot
All because I believed what they did not

As I grew up my fear remained
It felt like a secret, my soul felt tainted
But as time passed on that fear subsided
If it is my belief then why must I hide?
When that thought emerged I felt relief
If my pentacle means safety and protection to me
Why must I hide it from the ones who wear the crosses which mean the same?

My religion is not wrong
My belief is mine and mine alone
It took so long to understand these things that should be common sense
Because since early on I was told that I was wrong
But I removed the veil of lies that covered my eyes
I broke free from the chains of doubt and fear
And I ran from the expectations of society that bound me

I dwelled there for so long, suffocating in my 'sins'
As a child I had to feel like a criminal
When all I wanted to be
Was a child of the Goddess,
wrapped in her loving light

To my moon-kissed brothers and sisters
Hold yourself high with confidence
We are the strongest force known to mankind
For we've walked through fires just to be heard
We've raced through shadows and sung under stars
So we could be free

Come dance with me under the moon
As we manifest our dreams
Our intentions true
Our spells be carried through
If it is our will, so mote it be

And when their flames embrace our bones
as they vilify our souls and condemn our bodies,
we will hum our songs of virtue and light
for we walk the path of honest faith with no room for doubt

As they light us up like fireflies upon their pyres,
Let us smile to our Lord and Lady, our Gods and Goddesses
We will show no fear as they stare holes into our hearts
for we have magic in our blood and mystery in our eyes
We who dance with demons and fancy the fae
Spare no time to those with ill intent and hateful minds

With no fear or worry we are the awakened ones
aware to the world beyond and within our own
We stand hand in hand with mother nature, with Lady Gaia herself
With glory we travel to Valhalla, the Elysian Plains and the Fields of Aaru

They can light their fires to satisfy their hunger for our blood
But brave children of the moon,
they can never have our valiant courage nor our souls
they can never taste our magic or see the astral
because we allow ourselves to soar above what can be seen
above what we are told is intangible
We climb the towers of our minds
and rise to our higher selves

We chant our songs like sirens blessed by Apollo
We won't bend or break because they call us sinners
Sinners in who's eyes? I refuse to kneel to a bloodied faith
We will not shatter with their looks of disgust
We will not crumble under their evil eye
We will kiss the hands of fate and spit in their naïve eyes

We are the blessed ones who tower above the wicked
For we are the sons and daughters of the witches they could not bind or banish
We are the children of the moon who bow to none
We are the ones who will rise like a phoenix from their fires
For we are the witches who refuse to burn

For me, life is scarier than death.
Its full of choices, mistakes, paths.
Some of them are good, some of them make you wither into a shadow of your former self.
Sometimes you learn and sometimes you only learn regret.
But death comes for us all.
There is no choice and no way to mess up.
Life has so many choices which is difficult when you're indecisive.

Sometimes I can't even decide which leg to start walking with.

I try to give up poetry
Like it is some horrible habit
Instead I find it is addictive
As I try to pull away
It breathes it's literary nicotine
Down my throat
And it seeps into my heart

Yet when I read another's art
It makes the cycle repeat
As once again I feel shame
Truly it is an addiction
Just one that I can't stop
There is no rehab
For a poet's vice

My favorite brand of cigarette, passion

If I ever get that call
It will be the day
I buy a my first
Pack of cigarettes
And I'll smoke them
One by one
Until my lungs
Are black and numb