I've never loved the story of Cinderella
She's a girl who is know for her courage and kindness
But I think she mistook courage for defeat

Courage is fighting for what you deserve, for what is right and just no matter what stands in your way
But she never did any of that
She slaved away for a decade, working her hands to the bone
Covered herself head to toe in soot like a cloak of safety
And she never complained

That was her version of courage
Accepting pain to avoid the discomfort or disruption of others by sacrificing herself
This is not courage, this is weakness

Cinderella should have thrown down her broom
Stood with her head high and if a hand were raised to her let her raise a hand back
Let her speak with defiance and justice
But Cinderella never did such a thing
She worked herself day in day out
And cried when the possibility of freedom slipped away

Cinderella was not the hero of of her own story
She was a girl waiting to be saved
She had no courage in her, only fear and helplessness
She may have been kind, but save herself she did not

She's a reflection of those who survived great pains
Shes what every person who's ever been hurt wishes they could have turned into
Turned their pain and bitterness into redemption and possibility as she did
Transformed their trauma and loss into kindness and dreams
But not everyone has a fairy godmother
Not everyone can hum and smile away the hurt as she does
But she smiles as if she didn't cry herself to sleep every night
As if she didn't wish upon every star to save her
As if she didn't beg her dreams to stay just a moment longer
As if her loneliness didn't drive her to madness as the mice and birds began to feel like family

But she gave them hope in ways no one else could
Hope that one day they can smile away every trace of a tormented past
Hope that one day poets will write sonnets in their name
Hope, it was her gift to the broken

I can feel the blood
Running through my veins
The soul that sits
Somewhere deep within me
I can think clear
I can breathe easy
I can calm myself again

The anxious feelings
Like a shaken beehive
Buzzing and stinging
Beneath my flesh and bone
Have stilled and silenced,
Relief and respite return

My eyes are searching
For nothing in particular
And yet everything they catch
Feels like a piece
Of some long lost sanctuary
I didn't know I needed

It's a liminal space
Where the only proof there is
That time is passing
Is the sun rising and setting
The colors changing in the clouds

A liminal space whose soundtrack
Is the sounds of the cicadas
Squirrels jumping through the trees
Distant fireworks from a nearby attraction
And the busy quiet that always follows
The liveliness of the wilderness

A lull washes over everything in this place
With a hand on the cool metal of the rail
And the paint chipping off under your fingers
An absence of anything profound
Simply just one more balcony
Amidst a million others just the same

Im full of love
I find it in everything
It fills me up
Yet even when im full of all this warmth
The absence of a place to let it flow into
Leaves me shivering

When you were mine
I always saw specks of blue
In rivers, oceans, and spread across the sky
On butterfly wings, blue jay's, and flooding feilds of blue bonnets
Yes, within my lovers eyes that blue was mine

When you walked away
You took that color with you
And once again my world was monochrome
I thought I had found my colorwheel
But now I've found the spectrum to be larger than that pitiless hue

One day I will find
Someone who will make my world explode
With a kaleidoscope of all these colors that I've never known
As if their very breath gives life to such sights
And in my view they will stay, for this I'll get on my knees and pray

We all hide behind the glass cages of our mind
Through the transparent jail we keep the order

I long to shatter the glass with a perilous thought
Yet none so far have been quite strong enough

So I continue to hide deep inside
These parts of me where no one can find

I'm not so shy, you'd see
In the deepness of my mind

I'm not so great, so organized
My thoughts would show that I am disheveled, in utter disarray

There is chaos here within my brain
You'd never know as I conceal the calamity on the surface

All these things going on inside
I hide within a pre-payed smile

Strawberries taste of nostalgia
they are memories on my tongue
the ripe feeling of summertime
and laughter under the sun

I'm unfolding banana peels from my eyes
the way a butterfly emerges it's chrysalis
maybe if I come from a cocoon of yellow
i'll be reborn a shade of optimism

Blueberries are rainy days
with their bittersweet comfort
in tiny drops
that never seem to last long enough

I tried love again
I put my best smile on
I pushed you from my thoughts
I let you go,
As if it was my choice

I turned off my anxiety
Pretended I'd be fine
Put a blind fold around my heart
Like the eight of swords
I lied to myself,
Like it were the right thing to do

I put on my favorite skirt
My favorite necklace and shirt
Did my makeup how I liked it
I dressed up my doubts
Looked in the mirror
And I felt pretty,
But I didn't feel me

I couldn't breathe
My heart took off it's blindfold
And begged for a second thought
When I had none to spare
I'd already decided
To leave my love for you
In the past where it belongs,
As if it was my choice

I cut off the cord that went
From me to you
That lifeline I held onto
Like a security blanket
I severed it,
Like it were the right thing to do

I went on that date despite myself
Smiled politely, talked sweetly
We shared stories
He was nice and he was kind
He called me pretty,
But I didn't feel me

I said before that I wanted
To fall in love again just to prove I can
Instead I learned just how hard it is
To sever my ties to you,
As if it was my choice

I still feel the electricity inside my veins
the jolt, the bolt
the jitter, the tingle
the rush, the sting

I still feel a long passed carnage
that swallowed me whole
captivated, smothered and devoured
and never let me go

I still feel the ricochet of echos in my heart
stolen, captured, forever hostage
in every stanza, every line,
every syllable, every vowl

They say that lightning doesn't strike the same place twice
but I'm a fool who believes in dreams
i'll feel the static in my hair
i'll turn science into fiction

They say that lightning doesn't strike the same place twice
but stranger things have happened
and it's better to believe in dreams
don't you think?

It's so sad having beautiful words written about someone
And not having the courage to show them
Those words just sit there
Patiently waiting

It's a slow poison
It's the sound of a certain cracking
That can't be placed to any specific memory
A sound so nostalgic and familiar
It's the sound that takes the place
Of laughter and lullaby
The sound is a million tiny cracks
In a broken mosaic glass
Like a spiderweb that holds
Every feeling of hurt in each tiny crevice
One day enough pressure will be applied
To completely shatter
Your fragile glass heart
And that cracking sound
Will be the last you hear

I love to dance, I love this routine
But her eyes bore into me and I felt like a machine
My parts and gears were aching, turned into the color of rust
I felt ready to combust
I love to dance, I love this routine
But she's made me in to something that isn't quite me
Suddenly I can't recall the once familiar choreography

Her wicked smile bends me and I crumble under the pressure

There's something clawing from deep within
Telling you, telling me, telling them, telling everyone they are nothing
That this world is only temporary

And sometimes it's so hard to push it to the back of your mind
Your thoughts implode
And suddenly you are nothing

Sitting silent unemotive in a temporary existence
You find yourself craving something beyond sadness
Wanting for a way out of the hell that holds you in

And you cry out pleading for a different fate
Tormented tongues of a liars honest plead
Heeded only when the innocent turn black with hate

Victim to the holy cross
You're never gonna be free
Go ahead get on your knees and pray
For a God that doesn’t see
Take your faith and seal it away
You're never gonna be free
They like to watch you bleed

A cruor never gets to breathe
Take your tears seal them away

Jealousy consumes me like an old mythical beast
One that legends conceal from a story they forgot to pass down
I erupt into flames but the only thing that gets burnt is myself
As I crumble into another pile of ash at the foot of what I can never be
At the pedestal of something that I can never hold within my grasp

He said he brought me a flower
I expected a rose, but he handed me a Dahlia
"Rose's aren't my type" he told me
In a garden of a hundred perfect flowers
He didn't choose some carbon-copy crimson petals
He saw in me what he didn't in them
He saw something unique, or as he put it
"Something promising a forever"

On days like these it seems like writing keeps the punishing thoughts away
All of the dark and depressing fears are kept at bay
So long as though my fingertips they go on display

Yes, I am terrified of death
Because I know it is inevitable
There is no life after death
When I think about it I feel a sharp pang of nothing
There is no envisionment of an afterlife
Of a paradise
Because there is none, not for me

Even if I believe in reincarnation
It doesn't stop the fear
Because all of my memories in this life
Will disappear
And if I stop writing now
These thoughts will invade and my conscience will cave

My passions are overwhelmed by my fears
Luckily they are just scattered days on my calendar
If I can make it through this one
I will make it through the next

Honey in my tea, dark and deep and sweet
With phantom eyes reflecting, rich and daunting
Through steam and aroma, they taunt me as the leaves steep
     Nostalgia tangles around my throat

Vines that climb, constrict and bind and thrive
Like hands encasing, cruel and menacing
Around my neck, those memories do obstruct
     They catch my breath, cloak my mind

Clouds so thick, foggy and blind and nebulous
With patchouli scent, lovely and alluring
Like ghostly fingers tracing along my memories
     Such pins and needles in my thoughts

Stevia leaves, as darkly green as roses leaves
Naturally sweet and desperately deceiving
Roses red, full of secrets hidden beneath ruby petals
     Echoing off those walls within

That’s the thing about poison, you never know it’s there
Till your cup is empty and your heart is heavy
Bittersweet are the sugarcoated words passed between vilified lips
     It was always as toxic as it was sweet

Love is like a bushel of berries, so alluring and safe at a glance
But once you get a taste that sweetness enraptures you so fast
That you have no chance to guess whether it is juniper or death
     It’s all over before you can react

We hide behind a web of wishes weaved within sweet nothings
Lovers words are filled to the brim with promises too burdensome to keep
You close your eyes and begin to blindly leap, but danger never ceases to creep
     And so you fall head first into loves abyss

Belladonna in my tea, dark and deep and sweet
With phantom eyes reflecting, rich and daunting
Through steam and aroma, they taunt me as the leaves steep
     Love is deadly, like venom on your tongue

Honey in my tea, dark and deep and sweet
With phantom eyes reflecting, rich and daunting
Through steam and aroma, they taunt me as the leaves steep
     Nostalgia tangles around my throat

Vines that climb, constrict and bind and thrive
Like hands encasing, cruel and menacing
Around my neck, those memories do obstruct
     They catch my breath, cloak my mind

Those Smokey quartz eyes were my favorite place to be lost
Bells sang when I wandered in those endless depths
Bells only ring for joyous occasions after all, right?
     I was never too good at reading warning signs

Clouds so thick, foggy and blind and nebulous
With patchouli scent, lovely and alluring
Like ghostly fingers tracing along my memories
     Such pins and needles in my thoughts

Just like wine, white wine with bubbles that made me blush
The taste was sweet, just like the nothings that poured from your mouth
How sweet, always so sweet when you wanted to be
      That always was my weakness

Stevia leaves, as darkly green as roses leaves
Naturally sweet and desperately deceiving
Roses red, full of secrets hidden beneath ruby petals
     Echoing off those walls within

That’s the thing about poison, you never know it’s there
Till your cup is empty and your heart is heavy
Bittersweet are the sugarcoated words passed between vilified lips
     It was always as toxic as it was sweet

Love is like a bushel of berries, so alluring and safe at a glance
But once you get a taste that sweetness enraptures you so fast
That you have no chance to guess whether it is juniper or death
     It’s all over before you can react

We hide behind a web of wishes weaved within sweet nothings
Lovers words are filled to the brim with promises too burdensome to keep
You close your eyes and begin to blindly leap, but danger never ceases to creep
     And so you fall head first into loves abyss

Belladonna in my tea, dark and deep and sweet
With phantom eyes reflecting, rich and daunting
Through steam and aroma, they taunt me as the leaves steep
     Love is deadly, like venom on your tongue

I feel like you are stealing my art
Burning it alive like a forest fire before my eyes
I reach out and it disappears
A faded memory like a ghost in foggy glass
I breath the words, I crave, I lust for them
And 502 gateways are locking them away

Release my vice, I need my sin.

Orpheus loved Eurydice
More than he feared death
He strolled into the underworld
With his lyre's heartbroken tune
He could move the hearts of the gods
Up on Olympus, and down under the moon

For her, he would do anything
For her he could do anything
He moved the unmovable
Charmed the uncharmable

Eurydice was just out of reach
A final step into light
And she would be home
Her skin nearly kissed the sunlight

I always wondered
Why Orpheus looked back
Why take the risk, why not trust?
After going into Hades and back,
Why lose her to doubt?

But now I know why he did it
It wasn't a lack of faith, but fear
He was afraid
She would rather stay
Forever a shade

What if when he looked back
She didn't reach for his hand?
What if she was looking back
At the Elysian Fields
Longing to be back in paradise?

Orpheus never sang again of love
His lyre forgot the sounds of laughter
The tunes of joy, romance and smiles
The only melody his lyre could play
Was the manifestation of tears
That Orpheus could no longer shed

I know that I’ve no right to feel
These feelings weighing down on me
But every time we have these talks
The feelings come crashing back to me

Being kind is the cruelest thing you do to me

He's so insecure about being loved
He feels as if he isn't worth it
Through his eyes he's a peice of coal
He can't see the beautiful diamonds he shelters inside

Through my eyes he sparkles brighter than the sun
Because even underneath all the pressure thrown at him by his peers
He never gave up or changed for anyone
Instead he became something that they could never come close to

If only he could see the beauty inside of him
Perhaps he'd love himself as much as I love him

I never could keep one
But now I can't stop writing
Hoping to write you out
With the rest of my thoughts

A toast to the two of us
Left behind, forgotten over time
Used as pawns of pleasure and tossed aside
Maps to hidden treasures abandoned after the journey

A toast to the two of us
On this day where we are one
Where I see you
And you see me

Ariadne
A toast to you,
For no particular reason

A toast to us,
For all that we can be
Let the stars commemorate this day
So for eternity we can see it
Carved into the sky
And no one will ever forget or use you again

A toast to us,
For all that we will be
Let my love be enough for you
To quell your tears and give you joy forever
To Hades and back, my dedication to you is eternal

My hands dance across the spiderwebs of fate
My eyes see inside, above and below
They see into now, never, before and beyond
My hands paint the pictures of possibility
They unfold the stories that no other knows

A possible future
A distant past
A painful present

My, I see it all within your palm
With my cards, my stones and with my pendulum
I know all as I read
The leaves, the bones, the flames and smoke

I have all these tools at my disposal
To uncover mysteries far beyond my mortal sight
And yet somehow I never see
What is standing right in front of me

Domestic violence in my heart
With eyes that wage a war
And lips that speak of more
He takes our ******* and calls it art

I am relinquishing my fears today
No longer shall I be too afraid to be who I am
I am not ashamed of my faith
I shouldn't hide behind a decade of prosecution
We've moved past the burnings and the witch hunts
Let them come at me with their torches and pitchforks

It isn't my gods and goddesses who seeks the path of destruction

If you find your passion then there is no limit
Whatever anyone tells you about it doesn't matter
It is an irreplaceable part of you that they can't take away
Even if they are jealous because it can never be a part of them

Doubt is a seed for envy
Doubt is a pesticide for love
Doubt is a bullet of jealousy
Doubt will ruin me

I'm insecure, but I'm trying
I'm confident, yet I'm hiding
I promise myself I will change
I will improve and be someone
That I can be proud of , someone
That my parents and my friends
can be proud of
I do my best, and for me
That's enough

I feel like a web of broken promises
like a sandcastle about to crumble
into a pile of nothing but remnants
of something once so beautiful, now
to be reclaimed by the pitiless waves

I don't think we'll ever get to keep
those promises we made at 16
you feel so far out of my reach
like a phantom limb, I still feel you
so close, like you're still an integral
part of what makes me feel whole

But our time is running out, I feel it
the futures and dreams we cherished
are nothing but whispers on the wind
of a time when we could be optimists
of the days before you'd forgotten

How to be a dreamer

as the stars trickle down from the sky
they take the form of raindrops
every time they splatter down on me
i feel every shattered aspiration
in those little splashes of starbursts
i feel them stab into me demanding to be set free

crushing a dream
is like ripping the wings from a butterfly
and then asking it why it can not fly

Please hold on to my dreams for me
Put them in a ziplock bag, carry them wherever you go
But don't give them to me
I lose them so easily when they are alive
I only find them once they've died
I'm sorry for my recklessness, but know that I've tried

I want to hold my dreams the closest to my heart
Inside my passions and within my hope
Swirling feelings of bliss hide with them
I want to keep them safe from my doubts and insecurity
But I can't be trusted with such fragile things

In my hands they tangle and fray
Falling victim to procrastination and vanity
Tattered and bruised they lose their shimmer
Like pyrite and nickel they lose their shine
What happened to the glitter and blinding glow?

As my belief and trust in myself fades
All I see in my dreams
Is someone drowning at sea

Last night I dreamt I took you back
Yet even in my dreams your heart is black
Just as quickly you turned your back
Which is why picturing our future was faded black

The stars look bitter tonight
Like a candle is only sweet with a flame
You take away the sparks
And only the bitterness remains
That's why the stars only sparkled for him

For now I'll just blame it on me
Because its easier than hating you
I wish I could change the blood
That courses through my veins
If I changed who I am
Would you love me then?

He took the night sky with him
In his eyes, he took my stars

They say as you grow older the friends and lovers you held close to your heart drift away. They never say how slow it is. A phone call every day becomes once a week. Soon just a text or two, then nothing in unnumbered days. Months pass by until you realize you've lost track.

We used to be written in the stars–
I swear it.

And I can't decide; were the fates miserable to give us so much time only to take it away– or merciful to let us feel it at all?

Wine tastes like I miss you
And whiskey tastes like I need you
The bottom of these bottles make me ache
Maybe if I drink my fill
The thought of you no longer will

Even if I drown it all away
You'll still haunt me all the same
No matter how deep I drown,
In the haze you're always around
A silhouette in the silence
A ghost that's louder than the quiet

Maybe time will heal what's broken
If not through words then through the unspoken
We'll turn the ashes into flame
And maybe we'll find love through the shame

I only cry when I think of you

I don't cry when I talk about my childhood trauma
Of the times I'd been let down, berated or broken
When I was shut down and shunned
When I felt mute and voiceless
When I felt alone and empty
I don't cry until I talk about you
About how I loved you, and how I'll never stop

I've been hurt before you
I've been hurt again after you
But it's interesting how there is a before and after you
As if that's how I divide my life
Divide the way I feel

When I think about you
I think about the day we met 10 years ago
In the choir classroom of our middle school
In the karaoke homeroom
We were young, ridiculous and open
We were outcasts who saw eachother
We were outcasts who were seen for the first time

I never felt like I had to hide from you
I never had to pretend to be someone I was not
I think about how we would laugh and smile with eachother
How we almost felt like we had an us vs them against the world
I think about how I loved you before I knew what love was

I think about everytime you called me and your voice
Somehow always seemed to save me
As if you knew every tear before they fell
Years and years, but you never stopped calling
And I suppose, I never stopped waiting
I never stopped answering

I think about the days we were together
When we reconnected in highschool
When we fell in love
How I can read our entire relationship through texts
How I can hurt myself and heal myself over and over
Like a wound that never heals, never scars
I think about how desperately I wished I didn't love you
How wrong it makes me feel being unable to let you go

I think of how you taught me what it meant to be loved
And what it meant to love

I think about how I'm alright with being your friend
With never showing you my writing
With never telling you how much I've loved you
I think about how I'm satisfied
With knowing I will never be more
And how it is worth it and I don't know why

I think about growing up
Of growing farther away from those memories
Farther away from the choir classroom
Farther away from the phone calls out of nowhere
Farther away from a version of you who loved me
And I realized I'll never grow away from the me who loves you

I only cry when I think of you
When I'm sober, when I'm not
And it's never a tear of hurt
Not from something you'd done
Nor from something you'd said
But from all the things I wish you did
From all the things I wish I could
For all the poetry you may never see
For all the love you'll never know

I only cry when I think of you
Because I love you when I know
That I should be able to let you go

You've been in my head again
Refusing to leave like the earworm you are
So through paper and thick black ink
I will write you away

I walk through this world blindfolded
Echolocating my way with just your heartbeat
Each pulse guiding me through blurry lines
Making the world around me clear as crystal
I trust alone in the visibility each beat gives me

And though your heartbeat fades so soft
I follow the breadcrumbs you leave me
Ultrasound and hardly there at all, perhaps a dream
I'll still find you in this endless pitch black sky

I'm like a vampire, or perhaps more like a fruit bat
What I crave is something sweeter than blood
Only you would do, my favorite chalice
My thirst consumes me, such hunger becomes me
With no true beginning and no true end

I glide across the starlight, seeking you out
With my echoes in the dark
The sound of your heart, brighter than any flame
Lighting my way, and like a moth I follow
On gilded wings to you I soar

But all fires burn out
No matter how eternal their light seems
And all moths return to dust
No matter how immortal their dreams

I'll trust only
In my echoes in the dark

Poem by: Layla Smith (Pyrrhathepoet)

All it takes to make a day is
Eight letters
All it takes to break a heart is
Eight letters

I love you
They say to capture you
I love you
They say to break you

We’re over they whisper
When they are done with you
We’re over they say
When they've replaced you

Can you believe it only took
Eight letters to hurt you?

I crashed into love
My ship had been lost at sea
Map was torn to shreds
And my compass had mislead me
Lied to me and abandoned me
Brought me to the wrong island
To hell and back and back again
I was trapped there on that Purgatory Island
Afraid i'd never make it off at all
I escaped-
Returned back to my ship at sea

My anchor was lifted
I let the ocean carry me away
Simply drifting through
A torrent life
Aimlessly floating by
Island after island
Too afraid to land
Too afraid it would be
Another perdition in disguise

I closed my eyes after staring
So closely and longingly at the clouds
How they danced in the sky
A song of freedom and carelessness
While I was chained down to earth
My heart anchored in the lonely sea
I closed my eyes to escape reality
To for just one second
Feel as careless as the clouds in the sky

I let my ship be wrecked once more
By a tiny islet alone in the ocean
Such a hard ****
Such irreparable damage
From such a tiny island
I felt helpless
Distraught and terrified that
My carelessness brought me back
To that devilish island

I was shipwrecked by love
Afraid and alone
I had no clue what to do
Other than brave it out
And step once more
Onto a foreign land
A tiny island
Not even on a map
A tiny beautiful island
The more I let go of fear
The more I longed to see
The deeper into the heart I went
The less afraid I became
I didn't want to leave
And to this day I remain
Home on that Heaven Island

The sea no longer calls to me
No temptation on the horizon
No doubt on my tongue
The angelic land is home to me
Holds me in a devoted embrace
My Elysium hidden away
From erroneous judgement
A tiny islet in the sea
Yet home to a thousand Nirvana's
Just for me

You may not see the damage,
but it's there
beneath smiles and politeness
deep inside the laughter and
within every crevice of joy
lives doubt

You may not know you caused it
but don't deny it
inside every tear and worry
deep inside the sorrow and
within every doubt
you live

I remember how
    he used to say my name
    and it only ever sounded right
    when said by him
  
I remember how
    he used to say he loved me more
    than I loved him
    he wasn't ever ashamed or shy

I remember how
    it felt to be loved by him
    even if it was just a whim
    it didn't feel like it was pretend

I remember how
    since I never could forget-
     I will never love anyone else
    As much as I love him

Was it me who wasn’t enough,
Or was it you who had no passion?
Who do we place our blame onto,
Who is the one who killed our love?

You always tell me about my shortcomings
You have endless lists inside of your mind
Full of things that are wrong about mine
I'm never smart enough for you
I'm never kind enough to you
I'm just never enough

When I walk out of your life
Will that finally be enough?

I keep trying to refuse these feelings
But everytime I beg them to go away
They find new places to invade
The more I turn from them
The more they grow
The more I pull at them
The deeper they go
Like the roots of an ancient tree
They tangle deep inside my heart
So deep that I can't pull them out