The sun was shining very bright
In that very darkened night
He loved me with all his hate
Light as a feather under all his weight
Broken into pieces, he left me whole
I was blinded by the light in his black soul

The rain is pouring down
Those poor worms are sure to drown
They're looking for a dry spot to be found

They crawl to that one small spot of concrete
They found what they seek
The birds are waiting with sharpened beaks

To the birds it's a rain fueled feast
With death the worms they greet
Like me, the worms are just ment to feed the beast

You don't like my poems because they rhyme
I don't give a **** these poems are mine
You think your a serious writer
But my pen is mightier
You use big words to impress
You think with words you are blessed
I can use big words too
But I prefer *******!!!
Big words are great in the right context
But with your words you're only trying to vex
So stand aside and watch me go
With the rhythm, rhyme and flow
This is no childs poem....it's mine
And I'm gonna leave you far behind

Another night of nightmares
Another night of despair
Another night of tears sliding down my face
Another night in this dark empty space
Another night my sleeping mind shows me how I am confined
Another night my emotions are put to the grind
Another night my breath comes in rasps
Another night where sleep escapes my grasp

Laying here with my arm's across my chest
Just hugging myself
For there's no one here to hold me
Tears cascading, I can't see
No one here to comfort me
No one here to care
Only me to pick myself up when I fell
When I fall
When I hit the wall
No, no one here at all

Write my name up in the sky
Let me fly way up high
Instead of always the painful cry
To lose the feeling of wanting to die

I'm tired of living in the dirt
Everything down here just hurts
With the Devil is who I flirt
He's wanting desperately for me to convert

I want my broken wings to mend
If not a smile, I at lest deserve to grin
But I've been covered in to much sin
To ever see my happy face again

All I ask is for a day
For things to simply not go array
For things to just for once go my way
If only I in my life I had a say

Just one day out of a lifetime
To simply be all in a line
For everything to be fine
For everything to fall in sink and rhyme

But if my past has taught me anything
Is there will never be a reason to sing
For the future only misery will bring
Still stuck in lifes boxing ring

I keep getting knocked down, knocked out
I keep trying different routes
After all these years all I have is doubts
To battered and bruised to get up, all I can do is shout

But just one single day, a short 24 hours
Where I don't lay in bed and cower
Just one day to bloom and flower
To escape from this locked tower

But I know thats to much to ask
I should just relax
In this darkness I will continue to bask
Just let me pull back down my mask.

Buried alive in a worm box
As he smuggle stood on top
"***** I'm burying you alive"
"No one will hear your cries"
The worms wiggled around behind my back
I struggled there in the pitch black
The smell of freash earth was so overpowering
And on top he just stood up there towering
I clawed at the lid
Of that old frig
But he was to heavy it did not give
My oxygen was soon depleted
I knew then I was defeated
Buried alive in a worm box
Who would of ever thought

As you can see I survived that day
But when at last on a cold slab I lay
And when they put that tag on my toe
It's off to the crematorium I go
Because being buried once is quite enough
I really am not all that tough

There once was a girl who loved bacon
The smell of it would start her hands to shaking
It's hard to define
She loved it divine
I once saw her chasing a swine
With fork and knife in hand
She was determined to eat that ham
But it ran to **** fast
I watched as it past
With her giving chase
To her it was just bacon with a face
She wanted that meal
Despite the pigs squeal
That poor pigs plight
Was a sad sorry sight
It was hard to imagine
What next happened
It turned and ate her instead
Now that ***** is dead

                  The End!

Drink from the bottle,  trying to numb my mind
Forget the shot glass, for that there is no time
The agony it grows
In my face it shows
My phone should be locked away
No telling to who, or what I'll say
It's never good to drink alone
Woke up with a pitiful moan

Drink from the bottle, trying to numb my mind
Don't remeber what happened last night, hope I had a good time
Looks like my demons came out to play
Liquor always unlocks the way
Woke up this morning, mirror was shattered
But it don't really matter
I never liked what I seen
Guess I was feeling mean
Read my texts sent to my best friend
In my blacked out state I still knew how to hit send
Hope he forgives me, he knows how I am
Because all he replied was "****"

Drink from the bottle, trying to numb my mind
My demons had a wonderful time
Pills all over my bed
Razor by my head
Gun in my hand
Guess they where gonna make it my last stand
But I must of passed out instead
My eyes are blood shot red

Drink from the bottle, trying to numb my mind
I swear again, this is my last time
Of drinking by myself
As I gently place the gun back on the shelf
The voices in my head
Just laugh at what I said
For there's more liquor in my closet
I know there be a cause for it
For the darkness still covers me
Like a frozen wet blanket, it  covers me with ease

Flashbacks of a confidant fool
Flying through life with out any rules
Headlong into danger
The adrenaline rush is an intoxicating flavor
Thoughts of past injuries are nothing but flashes
As quickly he dashes
With those famous last words on his lips
WATCH THIS!!!!

She must always be the center of attention
Loud as hell too, if I even need to mention
You know when she's around
She bellows like an old basset hound
When she's here she'll let you know
As picture after picture of herself she'll show
Always bragging on herself and her's
Like under your saddle a well placed bur
The same old stories over and over
She can talk anyone sober
I can only take her in a small dose
Not in walls that are close
In an open field, in case I need to bolt
Because I just can not cope
With the stream of ****
That spews from her lips
I'll run like a wild horse
It would be hard to follow my course
When I can't put up with her any longer
That attention seeking monger

Teaching life lessons
Death abides always in them
Fairytales are grim

Confronted by the agonizing notion
I am floundering in my own deep dark ocean
Being driven to the sandy bottom by waves of turbulent emotion

Someone please send me a boat
Please make sure it floats
But I already know they won't
Others just love to stand and gloat

Getting tired of treading water
Afraid I'm about to falter
Going down for the hundredth time
The bells for me they chime
Slowly sinking below the slime
Guess I'll never reach the sublime

I'll never reach the otherside
Right in the middle is here hope died
That was all that had been left
But slowly out of my life that too crept

Nothing left to do but ride the wave
Untill my head just caves
For the love I crave
Was a passing good time, like a rave
When it was over it left me blue
Then more problems did ensue
So the dark waves just grew
Lord knows this is nothing new

But this time will be the last
I'm gonna let this lonely sad life pass
Only sound will be my death rattle gasp

He is an addict
Pain on others he never sought to inflict
He was only looking for a way out
And this was just another bout
Of self hatred and doubt

He took the drugs to ease the pain
He took the durgs to ease the strain
He took the drugs to try to stay sane
In he's place I might have done the same

In the midst of all the carnage
You'll find him there spoon and rig
As he cooks it down
A slight quickened breath is the only sound
Eyes wide and bright with the thought of relief
With hurried thoughts of release

He thumps his arm to find the vain
It's the path straight to the brain
With that needle the monsters of the past are slain

But other monsters soon are made
They are just a diffrent shade
For the candle and the spoon
With the needle creates an awful hewn
The tracks are laid
No one can save
There is no way
So I just pray
I'll never turn my back to a friend
Even when his given in

Little boy blue, for you I blow the horn
I wish you was just lost amongst the corn
But the monster came and snatched your hand
Lead you off to an angry foreign land
I can see you, but can't touch your frozen heart
You was such a loving child at the start
But my little boy has grown into an angry man
Now in this empty field I stand
A trillion tears I've cried for you
Of the loss of my little boy blue
Who's eye's use to look up to me with love
You are my only son sent from above
But now you've gone into the void
Your innocence and ability to love destroyed

Why did you want to hurt me again
Why do you want to twist that knife in
Your words cut worse than any knife
And I'm the reason for your strife

I swear I did the best I could
I thought I was proticting you like I should
I'm sorry I didn't know
But I'd ask you everytime you would go
But your answer was always no

But I know little kids can be frightened
And I'm sure that noose he tightened
And I don't blame you for hating me
For I am mom you see
I was supposed to protect you from the monsters
But I didn't know it would be my secound step father

I didn't know my mom would marry a another one like the first
This nightmare was the worst
I just wish you could see
I tried my very best to be
The mother you could always depend on
But now your gone

You hate me for what was done
But I want you to know if I'd had a gun
He could of never hurt anyone
And tho you hate me I'll love you always
I'm mom and I'm to blame anyways

With that self inflicted wound were she ripped out her own soul
There was things she didn't know
Things that also had to go

What went first was empathy
Followed close by sympathy
Then of course was faith
But that really died with years of agonizing wreath
I would say dreams
But those died years ago it seems

What hurt the most
And why it was so hard to cope
Was the microcosm thin string holding hope
It was crushed in the grind
No where you look, will you find

She no longer believed in yin and yang
Or karma, they where the same, nonexistent
She seemed to know it in an instant
Nothing happened for a reason
To think that would be treason
It was all just random chaos, and dumb luck
Just depends on what side of the coin you're stuck
There was only random acts of cruelty
This world is more than unruly

With these facts now planted firmly in her head
What little light within her fled
The darkness slowly seeped inside
As she gasped out one silent sigh
Now totally consumed, she would never shed a tear, it was as if she had never cried
For her former self passed away, her old personality died

There is no escaping the stupidity of the human race
It's always right up there in your face
I want to be on a mountain top
Where humanity never stops
I want to be in the middle of the raging sea
Where no human I'll never see
I want to be on a deserted island
Where people couldn't even fly in
I want to live in the frozen tundra
Where humanity couldn't wonder
But I'm afraid I'm stuck right here
Amongst the idiots and their beer
Watching the little piggies as they squeal
I want to run away
There is no place I want to stay

I don't want to kick the hornets nest
But I am felling quit depressed
And begaining to get awful distressed
There is things I need to express
Because my chest is really compressed
I know it's from all the stress
It will be hard for you to digest
But I have to get this off my chest
This problem must be addressed
I think it is for the best
That all of it is confessed
I know after I tell you, me you'll detest
But maybe that's for the best

Oooh never mind
I'll just keep these hornets in their hive
And stay in the shadows and hide

Waves of sadness keep roll over me
Unshed tears stings my eyes, can't see
Life is looking so grim
It has me standing on the rim

One foot balancing on the razors edge
Other foot over the ledge
Looking down into the silent abyss
Falling forward, leavening behind all of this

That is my sweet hidden dream
Some of you will know what I mean
I'm tired of the waging war, the constant battle
Being herded along like cattle
One catastrophe on top of another
Until they pile up and smother

I can no longer breathe
My anger just seethes
I can no longer be
Will anyone see
I can no longer stand
Please someone take my hand
I'm about to snap
There'll be no coming back

On the outside I'm hard as a rock
You can't even hear the thud when I drop

On the inside I'm a crying little *****
Like a kid whipped with a switch

On the outside no emotion at all
You can't even tell I'm in a fall

On the inside a quivering mass
Fearing the final die has been cast

Get me out of this cesspool
I'm swiming in idiotic fools
How did I get surrounded by you heartless freaks
Why can't any of you think before you speak

You all tell lies with such great speed
That my ears are starting to bleed
And all my thoughts your starting to impede
Why the **** where you allowed to breed

If I'm made to stay here with you human waste
I fear my intelligence will soon be erased
With all your mindless yakety- yak
I'm begaining to think you all must all be on crack

I'll be glad when you're dead
You ******* you
When you're dead..... in your grave
No more children will you crave

I'll be glad when you're dead
You ******* you
When you're dead..... shot in the head
For your sickness that you fed

I'll be glad when you're dead
You ******* you
When you're dead..... and at Hell's gate
No more monsters can you create

I'll be glad when you're dead
You ******* you
When you're dead..... you won't be missed
Maybe my nightmares won't exist

I'll be glad when you're dead
You ******* you
When you're dead..... with all your sin
It'll be cursed ground you sink in

Living a life full of shadows, full of echoes
Voices from my past bellows
In my head and in my heart
They seem to want to tear me apart
To make me pay a price I don't owe
The devil put a price on my soul
He's tried to crush me
Rush me
Brush me aside
Make me hide
God's angels join in
Chasing away any friend

I'm not ment for heaven or hell
I just ride the growing swell
Until I'm dropped into the hole
Where all the unwanted souls go
The black abyss will be a welcome sight
No longer having to put up a fight
There in the darkness I'll dwell in delight
Far from hell's dogs
Or those heavenly hogs

So close to the edge, one lose pebble could send me plummeting
And I feel an earthquake coming

God.....these devastating events have to end
I'm close to snapping,  no more can I bend
I need a season of rest
I can no longer be stretched
stop, Stop, STOP!!!!
This life of mine makes Hell look like a vacation spot

Ghostly white and turning blue
It's not hard to construe
That this would happen, already knew
Among the many, I was with the few
Where sorrow and agony grew
Sliced my skin open so my spirit flew

A few times in life I've been smitten
By the feelings of love I've been bitten
But cold is love
Like in winter a hand that lost it's glove
It's touch can leave you frozen
A heart eaten away by corrosion
It will make any situation a little more dire
Making you feel a little more expired

Why is love so cruel
Two people in a dual
Leaving you the fool
Feeling just like a ghoul

Love set's your heart on fire
Giving you all kinds of desire
Only for it to turn the tables
For seemingly it is just a fable
It's really not real
All those feelings you feel
They were nothing but a mirage
Giving you a cardiac massage

Why is love so cruel
Two people in a dual
Leaving you the fool
Feeling just like a ghoul

Till that inevitable day
Love takes it all away
You plummet from the sky
Till you're laying in the wry
Love so skillfully fleeces
As you cut yourself to pieces
Trying to recover your shattered parts
Tiny slivers of a pulverized heart

Standing in the shower with my head against the wall
Letting the scalding water fall

Wishing it could wash away my skin
Wishing it could wash away his sins

Maybe when my bruises heal
My soul will once again, begain to feel

It looks so fragile with all it's holes
Where the monsters took and stole

But it's sewed with spiders threads
So it's as strong as a spider's webs

There's really nothing left to say
Except that maybe one of these days
I'm gonna be ok

You act as if you hadn't a clue
You act as if I hadn't talked to you
You act as if I hadn't tried till in the face I was blue

I did, I tried
I did, but you only sighed
I did,rivers of tears I cried

Why are you such a *******
Why is your agony dispread
Why did you not listen and ended up mislead

I beckoned you to come near
I beckoned you so I could make it clear
I beckoned you but you only looked at me with that sneer

So I let you do it your own way
So I let you become the prey
So I let you crumble in just mere days

Now i'll just set and watch
Now I'll just set while all of it you botch
Now I'll just set as you make another notch

If only you had not just listened but heard
If only you hadn't let things get so blurred
If only you hadn't acted so absurd

I sat and I watched you expire
I sat and I watched as your situation got dire
I sat and I watched as you set yourself on fire

Just hang me on a hook
Everyone has already took
Hang me with the other tools
But please, don't mistake me for a fool

I really didn't mind
Giving to others my time
For when you look, you'll find
It's the ONLY thing that's worth a dime

There really wasn't a day
That I didn't give pieces of myself way
I tried, I did all I could
Never caring I'd be misunderstood

I really was quite amused
When others thought I was being used
I don't regret how my time was spent
Or those that came and went

This is the saddest day
I can give no more of myself away
Now I'll just sit and wait
See what is in my fate

Will others let me drink from their cup
Fill my spirt back up
Fill the pieces in
Let me sing again

Or will I hang on this hook and rust
Slowly turning to dust
I don't care either way
I fought for every single day

I stumbled, often fell
Ran into walls as well
But I always fought, gave it hell
I tried to spend my time well
On things that truly mattered
I was thought of as crazy like the Mad Hatter

They just didn't know
The meaning of life, how it goes

Don't be selfish with yourself or your time, joyfully give it away
Walking into future with faith and hope someone, someday
Will give pieces of themselves to you
When your season is due.

The cast iron skillet of love
Fell on me from up above
No time for a warning to be said
It landed squarely on my head

Pain far from dull
It caved in my skull
Scrambled my brains
Let them all drain
Gray matter splatered
Nothing else mattered

An unstoppable event
It quickly came and went
It left my heart sore
My brains on the floor

I  am not afraid of my truth anymore
And I will not omit pieces of my gore
Just to make you a bit more at ease
I will say and do as I please

I am a black sheep
I am a freak
I am not that stable person you seek
My past and future reek

I meditate
I hesitate
I contemplate
I self medicate

I'm a complicated person
Of that I am certain
I am not whole
I lost my soul
I've grown cold
But thats the way it goes
When there are holes
Because of pieces stole

I'm not afraid of my truth
No need to become a sleuth
I confess, it started in my youth

A step dad that loved to much
His putrid touch
Years spent in his clutch

I am a black sheep
I am a freak
I am not that stable person you seek
My past and future reek

A heartless mother
That just smothered
One sister and two dead brothers
Agonizing events, one after another

Heartless men
Used and sinned
Life in a spin
Latter in life ***** again

Sanity gone
Done so wrong
Growing weak, no longer strong
Just part of my sad life's song
If I wrote it all, this poem would be to long

Space and time is one and the same
Einstein sure knew the game
It's not gravity, but space that pushes you down
In time everything comes around
The space bending time
Holds your feet to the grind
The faster you go, the younger you stay
If you haven't noticed it's always been that way

I laid on my bed and watched the storms last night
Seeing the beautiful lightning such a wonderful sight
I didn't even mind being there alone
I guess the loneliness I've out grown

The lightning struck so much my room was contant noon
And the thunder just kept rolling like one melodious tone

I lay across my bed
With the window at my head
I love the fragrant smell
When the storms give it hell

I watched it storm for hours
Wishing I could draw upon it's powers
Just how awesome would that be
To have people cower before me

I dreamed all night long of storms and thunder
It tore my dreams asunder
But in the morning light they where gone
And now I can't wait for them again to come along

I've suffered through life
Now there is parasites
They bore into my brain
Leaving me less than sane
They nibble and chew
Eating holes right through
Sleepless nights
Nothing's right
They stir up thoughts
Making my mind rot
Parasites of the awful kind
Reliving dark memories that they find
There is no cure, no hope
For the gun, the knife I *****
To end this wretched life
To rid myself of these parasites

One empty surfboard out on the water
One empty board no soul survivor
Just floating out there
A silent reminder

We sat underneath the stars that night
In your warm embrace you held me tight
You pretended that you loved me so
That's how it always seems to go

You should of told me your truths
Gotten straight to the roots
That you only wanted me for a time
You didn't have to make me belive you were mine

I still would of treated you kind
You didn't have to make me look and find
That it was only lies that you told
Piece of my shattered heart that you stoled

You didn't need the star's light
To make what you wanted feel so right
I still need human touch
I still would of laid down in your clutch

You didn't have to get me starry eyed
But you went and lied
For just a few days of pleasure
I still might of shown you my hidden treasure

You didn't have to pretend
Leave me heart broken once again
You didn't have to enter trough my heart
You didn't have to ******* apart

Take away the pain
Take away the strain
Just what would remain

I am held together with the struggle
I am held together because of all I juggle

I am nothing but agony
I am nothing but depravity
I am nothing but blasphemy

Question's on my mind weigh
If you could take that away
Do it right here today

Would I cease to exist
Would I still be here in the midst
Would I be missed

For I am nothing but self loathing, agony, and pain
If it could magically be taken away, would anything remain

The earth is the devils playground
Fear He loves to spread all around
On friday the 13th He turned it lose on France
He let his minions do their dance
There is no way of stoping him
He does whatever he wants on a whim
He minions number in the millions
Never knowing which ones they are, they look like civilians
The devil entices them to blow themselfs up
He whispers lies, "you'll be drinking from that heavenly cup"
The devil knows there will be more
Trillions of them wanting to settle the score
All we can do is pray to a callous God, who long ago quit listening to our cries
Us never knowing why
So we bury our dead
Try to comfort ourselves with something inspirational said
As we watch the earth turning red

The light cut the dark like a steel bladed razor
Straight through the vain, straight to the heart of it
The truth has such a savory flavor
Once what was hidden in the depth of the pit
Is dragged into the light
Although it can be painful and tough like denim
Like a snake bite
It might still hurt,but it will lose it's venom
So let us air out our closets
Finally give them skeletons a proper burial
You know where to make your deposit
Let us all acknowledge our pain, and give it the proper memorial
For the truth is crimson red
And it bleeds us out in the dark of night
No need to carry it to our deathbed
Just put it in the light

My days spent with you
Are colored with the softest emotional hue
All in varying shades of blue
Of the sweet sadness that is you
A beautiful face graced with tears of dew
With the fullest lips that trembled when the pain grew
Your raven hair perfectly askew
To much of life's depravity you knew

To peer into those dark brown eyes
To witness their pleading question why
To hear that sorrowful quite sigh
Knowing that was your silent wish to die
Made this icicle heart melt and cry

There was nothing I could hide from your soul search gaze
It left my spirit lighter in so many ways
I no longer had to hide in the suns rays
I was free to dance in your darkening daze

Your beautiful sadness, graced you like pure black snow
Sure as the creek's slow flow
Goodness and love was all you would show

For your wounded soul knew
How misfortune could hunt you down and ensue
Leaving the feeling of happiness taboo
But with beautiful sadness you'd push through
As the universe's arrows struck and flew

You forever changed my vision
Unlocked me from the world's made prison
Loving you was not a choice nor a decision
You essence swept me into blissful submissions

It turned out to be my soul's deepest desire
To see the beauty in the muck and the mire
To accept the pain while in the midst of the fire
To wear sorrow with pride, like the robes of the heavenly choir

You allowed me to see beauty in the darkness
That the pain and agony does not tarnish
The beauty in the darkness remains regardless
If only to the darkness and it's beautiful view you harken

A beautiful torture, a delicate dance
If I want to even have a chance

Of how much affection to show, what to hold back
I don't know what you think, what feelings you lack
How much of what I think is real
Never knowing how you feel


Every now and then I look into your eyes
I see through the disguise
Other times your body language pushes me away
Keeping me at a distance, waiting in the gray

So I back off, not wanting to say things to soon
Not wanting what we have to lie in ruin
So I dance around the edges
Perouette around the wedges

Your passion shows me the way
For when we're alone, our hearts beat out the rhythm that our flesh moves to in the sway
I'm hoping that one day
Your lips speaks, to what your body already seems to say

Till then it's a beautiful torture, a delicate dance
Watching for the clues, if I even want a chance

The river of time keeps on flowing
I'm standing here in the knowing
All things will pass and fall away
As we flow from day to day

But the memories seem to remain
Be it happy ones, or the ones that torture our brain

Be it the rivers smooth ride
Or around the bend where rapids hide
To stay in the boat is the greatest challenge
For sometimes things become so unbalanced

Sometimes we are thrown overbord
Most of the time not of our own accord
As we try to keep our heads above the waves motion
Trying not to drown in all the heavy emotion

Sometimes all we can do is hold on to the boat and get dragged along
Other times we're firmly planted dry and warm in the boat singing our hearts song

But whatever waters we transverse
We all know time will do it's worse
It's not the trails we will be judged by
Or even how much we cry
We'll be judged by how we responded to the storm
What eventually becomes the norm

How time changes us inside
If we get angry, spiteful and mean, or if a heart is opened and we try
To help our fellow man
To lean on each other so we both can stand

So try to enjoy the river of times flow
Sitting there watching through the glass the sand steadily go

Standing in a harvested field, the sky touching the ground
Not a raise, a tree, or a hill to be found
A coal black cloud is coming down
Standing there head back, hoping in it's rain I drown
My heart is bleeding black
Everything from a young age went so off track
I am just the black sheep
I am just the freak
Watch me as my eyes leak
This lonely watch I keep
On my knees now I just weep
It's only sorrow that I reap
For a life lived amongst the ruins
Living under a storm constantly brewing
Daylight seeped through once or twice
Made the formless bleakness more than thrice
So I beg for no more light
It just makes it harder to fight
If blackness is where I'm ment to stay
Just keep the sun far away

Treat me like a rabid hound
Take that gun and shoot me down
Better yet just hand me a knife
And I'll cut myself right out of this life
I'm tired and I've been ground down
There's hardly any of me to be found
What's the use to fight this fight
It's only dark there is no light
If only Someone would take my hand
That feeling would be oh so grand
But any one that's tried
Can't stand the tears I cried
I just want Someone that can understand
**** it I want a real man
That can see past the agony and scars
That makes me look so marred
Even tho my heart is broken
The pieces of it still are golden

Lost and alone
I can do nothing more than roam
Looking for that illusive place to call home
Where I'm welcome with warm open arms
Tucked away from any harm
But that's a place of fiction, of fantasy
That glorious dream will never become reality
I know how the cards are stacked for me
Always a breath away from catastrophe

Everyone has there daily struggles
But with depression it's more than doubled
I rise each day to face the sun
But a part of me just wants to run
To hide away and lock the door
Or **** someone and settle the score

The wounds inflected on me I can not hide
You can see them all plainly on every side
They are apart of me, inside and out
I've been prey to many, and my trophy head they mount
In their memory of victims, I'm another count

They did it slow, they took their time, in no hurry
Then sent me off to the ******* taxidermy

They cleaned me up and stuff in the saw dust
But all you see standing before you, is just my crust.

Muddy and muddled
My brain is befuddled
Twisted and bent
Life wasn't heaven sent
Battered and bruised
Only ever been used
Torn and tattered
Now nothing matters
Diced and sliced
By life's ****** knife
Crushed and ground
No where to be found

I'm fighting hard for a reason to stay
I'm trying hard my demons to slay
But my swords are all broken, turned to rust
I'm afraid I'm all hollow, I'm but a crust
I'm striving to see the light, in this inky thick darkness
But to my screams and pleas, only the demons harkens

Where is my guardian angel
I'm in danger
Where is my knight in shining armor
I can't find a safe harbor
Where is my sweet dear friend
I'm afraid it's close to the end

I'm trying to save myself, it's not working
I'm trying hard, I'm not shirking

I need someone to care, I need a helping hand
Before my hourglass runs out of sand
I'm running out of time
Worthless is this life of mine