I became a zombie,
A mindless being
Drifting through life aimlessly
wanting to change something
Not capable of doing anything
And ended up with no one by my side

Fact :
When people leave you, they take a part of you.
They chip your heart, and vandalize your thoughts.
But, you are a ***** for not doing the same

A new book to fill
A new page to write
A new pen to empty
Oh, how exciting!
A story not happy
A tale not bright
but a jargon that will
drown you ill

A huge step to mankind
microscopic to mine
heads up in reach of
today's warm rays
eyes shut, hostile towards
the blinding light
a new beginning, progression
towards an ideal vision
an age old quest in search of
means for eternal rest

Two hearts are never one,
that's why a couple is two humans.
Our relationships are mutual ego feeding,
one craving attention and affection,
the other hungry for lust.
Make me your number one
and tonight I will accompany you til you are done.

I am not afraid of change
cause if you do
I needn't worry
my memories of you stay the same

Here we are again friend
Just as you always predict
sleepless but imaginative
but it's not tonight, dear pen
my eyes are sinking
and my brain is cosmic
flying
                 levels
                               beyond
                                               Infinity
                                                Struck.
                                   falling
                    flailing aimlessly
                                                    Searching for O2

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. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Drowning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
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24 hours chasing me
too early to seek shade
too late to hide in the shadows
no rest, no pause, always forward
stop
and I will be history

Gazing up to the starry sky
It's all beauty I can not deny
But it's not up where my thoughts fly
It has always been you, but I'm too shy

Rest in my arms
sink in my embrace
so I can dive into your dreams
and soar in your imagination

I can't stop thinking of our last moment
You were still the sweetest saying those harsh words
"Please, not yet..."
The words I repeated desperately
Even today, my lips can only tremble
And I will never be fine

I want you that looks at me
I want you that waits for me
Please let your care hold me
Let your love blossom again
“Never Ever Fall”
I wish upon our love in autumn

I have regrets
so do you...right?
Maybe a slip of tongue
that stabbed trust
A mishap, maybe slight klutziness
causing success to sigh
and leave for the exit
A life empty of regret
is non-humane
so is a life of regret
when choices are standing
opportunities are waving
possibilities waiting for you
and there you are
standing,
observing,
fascinated but scared,
"comfortable"
and chanting to yourself
Maybe it's not worth it

Run away, with me
And the poltergeists and ghouls
We can wander through the darkness
And play by our own rules

Run away, with me
To a cavern shaped like home
Where we'll build our own forever
And never dance alone

-Marceline The Vampire Queen

Turn on the night lamp
and slither in the bed
scroll through the apps
and let your lethargy extend
Don't worry about an alarm to tap
whether it's day or noon, you are eternally condemned

Why should I answer tomorrow today?
My past is haunting me
My future is scaring me
Should I go here or there?
I don't know and no one would care

Our story is a little star
among the vast galaxy
may the stars align for us to meet again
even if it’s just in our dreams

Like writing on sand
I will not tire to remind you
Of your beauty
Cause I'm afraid that
Waves will wash the shore

This hypnotizing melody
made me a dancing zombie
Because when I was filled with agony
You made depression sound so catchy

You and I are vintage
Unfit for a modern setting
And at best a distant memory

Would you like us to burn in
the summer heat,
blossom like the tulips in spring?
Or would you like us to be as clear
as the winter's ice,
fall like the leaves in autumn?

Is it in nature
that my personality has nurtured
to associate every concurring event, place, or person
with worry, anxiety and fear?

All she has is the hollow shadow of an ex-lover
And all that bring her joy are cigarettes and retro city pop records

What could ever be,
What would ever be,
Whatever it may be,
It doesn't matter to me!

There is no debate
Fantasizing is hard to hate
But the more that I indulge,
my sanity further engulfs,
What's happiness?
now it's desperation manifest

You are all I want you to be,
Let the what ifs just be,
We have our present to forever be
whatever we ever want to be!

The city is asleep
and the rain decided to come by
No taxi or bus is gonna pick me up but
home is far away

Kaulah kenangan di langit tinggi
Bersinar terang tanpa mengetahui
Ada manusia menatapmu di bumi
menawarkan tangannya bukan memberi
meminta hangatmu walau tak berarti
Hanya doa yang bisa ia ucapkan dalam hati
Mari berjumpa lagi walau hanya sebatas mimpi

I run, run and run
chasing what you have set
as insane as it seems, I complied
because I trusted you
and you wanted me to flourish
but tell me please
why the more I flourish
the emptier my growth becomes

I have never seen true freedom
among the living
Perhaps that is why
the symbol of liberty is a statue

I smile
reminiscing on our time together
I laugh
holding all of our cherished memories
I'm happy
collecting and building our love to persevere
I cry
knowing that you will break it, everytime

Cause I want to reach you
before the moon comes
to tell that I miss you
and see your smile

Perhaps I'm too lonely
Or too desperate
I hoped this would work
I'm so ashamed, what did I think?
I should have been more attentive
I should have been more caring
I'm sorry I'm not 6 foot tall
I'm sorry I'm not ripped with a six pack
I'm sorry that regret is flying
straight through you like a bullet

I bathed down my screen rays more than the sun
I'm anxious of forgetting attendance
than not understanding ****
I'm not sick due to covid but I'm sick
of times new roman font size 12

We have done something wonderful
for all these months we poured
our blood, sweat and tears
to achieve perfection
to claim honor
to find my purpose
but
after all we have accomplished
why do I feel my soul getting more hollow
why am I back to square one
a place thats curse I have thought to be undone

Would you like me
to live in agony
over the thought of
never meeting you,
or a life full of regret
because I lost you?

I will remember you
I will meet you again
I will draw you in my dreams every night
You and I, under the blue night sky
I promised you love
I will give you a moonlight in the darkest nights
I want to shine the world with this light
My Full moon

Here is an offer,
a request to be a lover,
make my love prose longer,
add structure till it's form differ,
once a poem to a novel full of laughter.

live for now never later
Be happy in the moment
But never cling on it foolishly
cause all it ever does is delay your misery

To see you walk alone
down the alley that we met
It aches my heart that yearns
To fill the void beside you
For those few meters
are oceans I have to sail

It's like you found a missing piece
But really, you were never incomplete
I do not complete you dear
I remind you that you were whole all along

In this mad, mad world
All we seek is composure
But no matter how old
Self hate is alcohol,
You're either drunk or sober

What could have been of us
if they were out of the picture
would your cheeks rest in the clusps
of my palms, would you rupture
a vein below my dry bottom lips?

These dry hands grasp for any sense,
my head wishes it was ever more dense,
this weary heart rushes aimless,
but even then, yearning is just so effortless

What could have been of us
if the weight of your words was gold
if I were just a little bit more bold,
prudent, even. Never my tongue hold,
would I know that reciprocate was an answer?

To the rooftop we went
Cause you wanted to see the stars
After sunset, no one shone for you
to your grumpy face I said that
I had the galaxy with me
the whole time

It is regrettable to not be a fond memory
But aches more when you contributed to tragedy
scoring scars on the soul and bruises on the body
Digging pits and holes deep inside the memory
Yes, time heals all wounds and forgiveness may wash guilt
But to know you can hurt always makes you feel like a *******

Will I ever be fine?
Am I able to feel happy?
Can my confidence radiate and shine?
Or am I always going to feel ******?
My self-hatred, I can not confine
My life's worth? Not even a penny

Take me back to a time, rewind
To an age, a moment
Where I would be scared
of ghost stories
And hopeful of the world

Run, run and run
away from that misery
Shout out loud and clear
Without a **** to the world
You are broken, a misfit they say
even though they deny the anguish within

I can write you
endless poems
About all the reasons
I fell for you yet
You can not
even text me back

Lonely, lonely soul
Where should we go?
Life is done, a little dull
nothing but a burden to throw