Lovely and graceful
Ordinary yet beautiful
Victorious and kind
Everything I wanted to be mine
Dreadfully too fine

The ocean is terrifying
bone-chilling abysses
that demand sacrifices

Deep cavernous waters
that consume the light
within it's dark night

An eldritch creature
that is old as time
that we fill with grime

The depths will wait
as water ebbs and flows
a creature we cannot oppose

tapping... pages whispering...
someone holds in a cough
as the air tenses around us
I hold my breathe as we listen
to a teachers droning noise
buzzing facts and figures
a quite conversation... a laugh...
I rock back and forth nervously
hoping beyond all it wasn't for me
taking notes my hand shakes
are my fellows judging my writing
can they see how crooked it is
shuffling... a chair squeaks...

hurtful words
don't listen to them
they're all so meaningless
there's more to life than smarts
more than people who don't want you
more than being ashamed of yourself
life is more than what they say
you are not meaningless
your life is yours
don't listen

everyone in sync
lining up together
words and actions
that flow just right

out of the loop
unable to connect
like some secret
I couldn't find

how do they connect
like wires to computer
making memories together
I feel disconnected

an ever looming measure
up and down everyday
my mood hangs on it
heavy and disgusting
a feeling that hangs over

How is it going?
my brain is scheming
aches at my temple
don’t let me sleep
I’m doing fine!

How are you?
‘cause my life is messy
and everything feels heavy
I wish you would hold me
I miss hanging out.

I see you everyday?
it still wouldn’t be enough
if I can’t talk to you
the same way we used to
Yeah you’re right!

Whiny little girl
your life isn't bad
it's as comfortable
as any could ask

Lazy little girl
you're just selfish
wanting everything
while doing nothing

sure simple syllable
some say
sho͝or or sh-ur
sure of
shrug sure

we're not really sure what sure means

writing, rules all different
art, with no color
music, with no instruments
all these but none at all
-
be it prose, be it lyrical, or be it free
poetry is distinct as it's own
a free flowing expression
a moment of emotion, of connection

the lurker at the threshold
who holds the key and the gate
he lives within the beyond one
and is the opener of the way

the all-in-one the one-in-all
omniscience and omnipresence
the invulnerable immortal god
he who sees all and all that was

creature born of the nameless mist
one that had father of many horrors
he has sired the unspeakable one
and the tentacle god of sky and sea

let the end be brought about now
through his will and the will of all
that all outer gods may become one
and all inner gods become none

I want someone to hold
and to be held by someone
someone to love and comfort
to dance around the kitchen with
and to whisper I love you to in bed
during the soft sleepy lazy times together

Queasy uneasy and afraid everyday
Unequal footing on a flat surface
Electrically charged with tension
Learning to hide the feeling
Left with internal anxieties unsolved

thick and heavy
an oppressive air
settles across us

trapped inside now
as the cold grows
and wind howls

wrapped up in you
and the warm blankets
as we wait it all out

but it doesn’t stop
days will pass soon
maybe even weeks

the cold still stays
icing over rivers
the wolves are coming

howls indistinguishable
from the swirling outside
till we hear the scratching

I'm so deep I hit the floor
here's where continents rise
I'm practically the bottom
but I mean the opposite

Sea stars and squids
pretty little invertebrates
are the only things here
'cause no light shines at all

I'm freezing without being frozen
and tough enough to crush
They thought I was the end
till they found my friends

Sometimes I need to chat
have a sit down
pour some tea
and talk to myself

I need to explain
everything I've done
and thought
through the week

So I understand
who and what
I have become
through my actions

I have to learn
how to love myself
even though everything
may seem bleak

anger and blood
spilled across the floor

embarrassment and sophistication
splayed on your face

love and heartache
beating in time together

flow like water
through the rapids
let not one drop go
move in heavy groups
rushing past the rocks
let not the stone stop you
push and push till we all
flow through freely now

posing a bright smile
weeping and crying
the camera turns to me
it's another perfect alibi

whistling a poppy tune
dragging myself through
I turned up the volume
to drown the words out

what is more convenient
than a convenient store

open twenty-four hours
waiting for me as always

to bundle my nerves up
and venture out again

when I get there at last
I'm greeted with silence

with the washed out lights
and tired apathetic cashier

a place where no one cares
and your business is yours

no judging eyes found here
for those sleep deprived tears

you were my universe
a face full of stars
eyes like ocean planets
but they froze over
you had a smile like a sun
but it went supernova
the sharp cold of space
stole away into an emptiness
that you had filled with love
you became a nebula
beautiful and unattainable

amidst the darkness
a gentle patter begins
tipping and tapping
a comforting rhythm
as thunder rumbles
and light begins to dance
during a nighttime storm

Oh love
you drive me crazy
you make me swoon
like the old fashioned girls

Hey love
even without you
my thoughts are there
waiting for your return

Dear love
can’t you see it
what you do to me
with every secret smile

Love, take me away!