i miss my hair falling out
my eyes dragging me down
i miss not having anything but bile
my bones pulling to the earth
i miss the sweet feeling of being hollow

blue, a color to morn
seen as sadness
mistaken for a sign
of the coming sorrow
some simple symbol

blue, a color of comfort
like rain after drought
clear streams bubbling
and oceans swelling with joy

blue, like fireworks
while popping blueberries
and a refreshing drink
under the clear blue sky

blue lights
hot teas

cold feet
soft sleeves

quiet room
typing keys

beloved you are
gentle soft pillows
filled with feathers
that itch at my skin

beloved you are
sobbing on shoulders
acid on tongue
begging for love
that I've never known

beloved you are
the beat of water
the shower head
pearly tears fall down

beloved you are
broken like glass
an edged smile
at days of the end

beloved you are
chaining me here
clutching at nails
like knives in my hand

we all have thoughts
impulses, moments, similarities
we all know the actions
smiles, words, movements

out of sync, the feeling of missing a note
no arrangement to follow in a symphony
a world of music, no voice to sing

my own are broken
discordant, amiss, awry
my brain is hoping
wishing, waiting, wanting