When she smiles,
you smile in return.
I get sick,
my insides churn.
Sour jealousy scrapes,
burns my throat.
Don't you know you're mine?
You do not.
So lost in your silly crush, in her,
you forget how close we are,
always were.
You don't know my need
to let go,
to kiss you,
so you know.

In the night, I pretend to feel warmth
of your body and hands, big and strong,
wishing not to wake up, not to feel
this cold absence of you (too real).
I escape to the fantasy—
—stop,
loose myself in the ecstasy—
—don't!
Would you think of me less if you knew
that I wish to not see morning dew?
But the sun will come out anyway,
painting all of my dreams with cold grey...
After making another mistake,
I sit here, on our bed, wide awake.
Slender body beside is not yours.
I'm not fooled: It's not love – it's remorse.

Here, I crumble in this morning light,
feeling all the effects of last night.
He'll wake up and pick up all his stuff,
look at me and breathe out: "that's enough."
He will leave; there isn't much I can give
to him now, as your absence I grieve.
One day, maybe, I'll see him for him,
Embrace on purpose — not on a whim.
Would you deem me a cheat if I flee
to his arms and pretend to be free
from this loss, maybe learning to heal?
Would you blame me for wanting to feel
his—another man's—warmth in our bed
that hasn't been warm at all since you left?

Have you seen the wolves in the sky?
There are pups at play, hear their howls?
Clashes of claws? Thunderous growls?
Through the clouds they run side by side.
They are the storm you hear outside.

A feeling
is not love
until it
tears your soul;
until a
drop—a star—
rolls down, cold.

A feeling
is not love
until your
world shatters,
and you burn—
to be reborn.

Hear the call.
Let the darkness enwrap you, entrap you.
After all,
Lost in silence, empty defiance,
Is your soul.
Let it scream in the darkness.
Hear the call.

They've always been here — the signs—
in your every smile, your sighs,
in the long, gentle touches,
on your cheeks rosed with blushes.

What a fool I've been, didn't see,
didn't save you from ruin, from me.
I have failed you. I'm at fault —
you're in anguish; you hurt.

Stay away! I'm unworthy
of your kindness and mercy.
There is something I'm scared of —
I'm too hollow to bear love.

They've always been here — the signs—
in the way the whole world shines.

A god of the skies—you're lightning!
words pour—they're rain— as you're writing.
Every line, like a thunder,
fills your readers with wonder.
Keystrokes—flashing light
You were born to write.

There is no escape...
A creature of evil—the dark!
You roam through the night well hidden—
ghostlike!
Your strike –
a deathly finesse! Crushed, smitten,
he falls down – your victim, your mark.
There is no escape!

There's subtle, eerie beauty in letting go,
allowing your creation to fly freely
to meet the audience, live its life just so—
it waited to escape your grasp so keenly.
What others feel about it you can't control.
Your inspiration, the readers will ignore
so to get scared, to react with their own feelings.
It's brought into existence—you played your role.
Don't be afraid, it's strong to break through ceilings.

When both winter and night
waltz through lands, it’s a sight;
It’s a magical moment—the nature’s delight.

Silver light from the moon,
as they dance to slow tunes,
Would reflect on the surface of pearl-white dunes.

Snow would sparkle so bright
it would match the starlight;
It would set the dark forest, the whole world, alight.

Gusts of wind from the ground,
whirling, twisting around,
Would swoosh down ice slopes to create a rare sound.

Frosty music would fill
lands with wonder and thrill—
Notes of magic so warm you won’t notice the chill.

It’s a precious, magnificent sight
When white winter twirls, sings with dark night.

You’re a gift - don’t call yourself weak.
Stars and planets are at your feet!
You can hear the colour of words,
taste the shape of different worlds,
breathe the waters of inspiration
in the process of art creation.

When your story flows like a river,
words come easy, plot turns deliver –
you're a wizard, a witch of the light!
You're gifted with magic – the power to write!

I wonder if you know,
there are few things as beautifully blinding
as sparkling diamonds on a sheet of snow
—pristine white snow—
when early in the morning after a storm,
the sun arises, spills its light—spellbinding!
There are few things…
and one of them I know.
I wake up to this wonder every morning.
With warmth, it fills me, and iridescent glow.
My feelings grow
as you look up, your hair spilled over pillows,
and smile so brilliantly, full of love and joy!
I wonder if you know,
you’re more beautiful than snow.

Visions of you give me strength. I'll survive this
war full of pain and destruction around us.
Soon, I'll be home with you, darling, I promise,
back in your arms, greeting you with a soft kiss.

I fight through this long night thinking of you, only of you.
Around, canons are loud, I will pull through, I will pull through.
Absurd! You'll hear a word that I am gone, that I am gone.
Believe, darling, believe – I'm coming home, I'm coming home.

I will ****, cut, slay
every foe, every last foe
that is on my way
from this war, pointless long war.

I must go, must run
and escape this wretched fate.
Early with the sun
you will wait for me, my mate.

Visions of you give me strength. I'll survive this
war full of pain and destruction around us.
Soon, I'll be home with you, darling, I promise,
back in your arms, greeting you with a soft kiss.

The enemies strike
with spears and spikes.
They advance, advance, advance.

They all think I'm weak!
Their future is bleak.
In this fight, they have no chance.

They fight to death not knowing
I have someone to live for.
I've made someone a promise
to survive this wretched war.
I will go through hell and fire,
to return to you, my love.
There is nothing that can stop me, when you wait for me, my love.

Visions of you give me strength. I'll survive this
war full of pain and destruction around us.
Soon, I'll be home with you, darling, I promise,
back in your arms, greeting you with a soft kiss.

I imagine you standing
waiting out there all alone.
From the dawn to dusk, worrying,
if I'll come back from the front.
Thinking of the hell and fire
between you and I, my love.
There is nothing that can stop me, when you wait for me, my love.

Visions of you gave me strength. I survived this
war full of pain and destruction behind us.
Now, I am home with you, darling, as promised,
Come to my arms, welcome me with a soft kiss.

One must know drizzles and days of gloom
to see the beauty—a rose in bloom.

Don’t come near!
I’m talking to you, you hear?
I’m no longer your purposeless teacher.
Here before you now stands a graceless dangerous treacher.
Have you come here to fight, my dearest pupils?
Here, now, I have no scruples—
Fools! Prepare!

The moonlight.

It’s silver, it’s calming—it brings me some hope.

Its presence, though distant, is constant.

It lightens the burden of sorrows

until I am lost in these horrors.

What makes me – imposter? a monster?

I shiver; it’s frightening—I plead all to stop,

to rewrite—

the moonlight.

I want for few, as you know:
be here with you and the snow.

A lovely greeting,
an innocent lie.
At every meeting,
it hurts as I smile.
I don’t let it show.
It’s stupid, I know.
I’m a friend, a guy.
You wave me goodbye;
you kiss her hello.

You are real.

My reflection is foreign, it’s haunted –

You are out there (I see you, I want you).

Lover’s caress spills traces of colour,

Making pain in my heart even duller.

Wishing idly (to touch you, to feel you),

I’m stuck here—this moment, my torment.

Help me heal.

It is heavy—
the burden you carry.
Suffocating—
inside, you’re aching.
Will decreases—
you’re ready to shatter to pieces.

Yet, there’s fire.
Your eyes blaze with anger, desire.
Feel it burning—
all its power, deep, twisting and turning.
Let it out, then—
and escape from the weight of the burden.

Coffee and writing sound very inviting:
sit, sip the roast, and write a few words;
by the end of the cup, all the words would add up
to a wholesome fic – it's a magic trick!

Can one blame me for hiding?
For this cowardice?
Not because of embarrassment
Nor the prejudice,

But because of the fear of loosing you.
What we have—I hold onto it foolishly.

Longing for your trust (absolute, mutual),
I stay by your side. Like a ritual,
Thought repeats, (hopeless, in a haze):
“I await for you, never and always.”

In quiet whispers, snowflakes hover, dance—
Can’t move, spellbound – it’s all serene, at peace…
I feel at home when snow descends, surrounds.

Throw ideas around like fairy dust,
draw a seal from sentences, if you must,
summon demons and gods, see them fighting.
Witcher's magic – the process of writing.

a quiet melody—
the falling snow—
enwraps you tenderly
in chilling throw
to ease your restlessness,
the rushing flow
of thoughts of helplessness,
until you glow
and hum the melody
of falling snow.

There’s a blizzard of words in my mind.
It is blowing and raving inside.
I embrace it, as it tears my soul,
spills on a page till a poem’s born.

“Is it real when your mouth is on mine?
Do we share a heart when our bodies align?”
Thoughts are frantic in jealousy, torment,
As I savour this fleeting soft moment…

Ночь темна. Пусть не видно дороги,
Фонарей недостаточен свет,
Покидают пустые тревоги.
В тишине исчезает их след.

Подлетают к огням мотыльки,
Пронесётся песнь сонных цикад.
На ветру шелестят лепестки
Ста магнолий, пьянит аромат.

Бледный облик луны
Высоко над горой,
Заезды ярко видны,
С моря слышен прибой.
На душе покой.

so hollow—
nothing but a shell,
a vessel emptied and left without purpose —
she’s drifting through the days, alone and hopeless.
silence, as she fell
in sorrow
so hollow—

You kiss without reservations, always have,
be there friends around, an unfamiliar crowd.

Always bold, you claim what's yours with passion, pride,
drawing a fit of laughter out of your bride.

You care not for daggers piercing through my heart,
or for the way you shatter what's left of hope
I carried through our years of friendship. No, you do not.

As your best friend, the best man, I’ll play the part
but don’t expect me to be here when this marriage falls apart.
She isn't right for you (I am!) You know this to be true, you do.

As soon as you exchange your vows, I'll leave and I won't miss you.
It doesn't matter that everything inside me screams to kiss you.

Ah, who am I kidding? I will be here for your every need.
When everything inside me crumbles, and even when I bleed.
I'm prisoned by my love for you, my dear friend. I can't be freed.

Though hectic, thoughts, feelings, still love them;
Breathe slow, me, creating a poem.

let everything burn,
bring the world to its knees, to ashes..
let everything burn
as i mourn—
let the flames bring light to this darkness

I want you out of my head.
Your words are poison, you see?
Will i forget what you said
or will it always haunt me?
Hateful, the power you have—
your wicked touch—over me.
I’m bleeding, wounds are too deep.
I’m broken – I’m yours to keep.
I want you out of my head.
I’m hanging here by a thread…

Вкус соли морской на губах,
Прохлада предутреннего бриза.
Две чайки парят в облаках,
Подсвеченных золотом, и близок
Жемчужный рассвет –
Красив его свет.

Прозрачна, спокойна вода,
Цвета перламутрового неба.
К себе приглашает волна,
И нежно её прикосновенье.
Сомнения нет –
Ныряю в ответ.

It didn't affect you, my friend, at all.
It was an accident after all.
When your lips brushed mine,
it wasn't on purpose.
Nobody caused this.
I said we're fine.
Yes, I'm fine.
It isn't your fault, no.
At myself, I'm mad
that my cheeks are red.
My heart skips a beat in a hurry,
and my vision is clouded, blurry.
I'm about to faint.
I'm in love
but you ain't.

Some days are harder than they may appear…
When, lost, you spiral down, out of control—
I’ll catch you in my arms, my love, come here.

I keep on pretending it's okay,
your kiss isn't splitting my heart in two.
I fathom the ending of this play
this tragedy, starring me and you.
You asked for a favour - to pretend
that lovers we are and not best friends.
I should have said no, but how could I?
Without you beside me, I would die.
your kiss is soft, disarmingly so.
It breaks me that it's only for show.

To write is to keenly breathe
the air yet inexistent,
to hear the sounds yet unborn;
The power to swim beneath
the stars of a world distant,
and smell a rose without thorns.

In a flash of raw desperation
I cry, fight, and steal your attention.
I silence you with a hopeless kiss,
breaking the walls of ignorance, bliss,
crushing our hearts, our poisoned friendship.
I pray on your lips, begging to change
our ways. Desire—I must be deranged,—
it is burning my core. You respond –
I let go. Yes, I must be insane.
Did I break (did we?) our precious bond?
I don't know, but you kiss me again.
and again, and again, and beyond.

Lower your voice, I beg, stay away.
Can't you see, I am out of control?
Stop this nonsense. We are friends, you say?
This is something I always have mourned.
I'm so angry with you for your lies.
There's passion in us, open your eyes.
Drop the veil of ignorance and see
how hungry you are for us, for me.
Every time I'm close your breath heightens.
It is maddening, man, it frightens.
Stay away, please, get out of my face.
It's a trap.
I need space.
Don't move, this is as far as you get
Or I snap
and do something we both will regret.