You play a perfect harmony to the music of my soul
In 4/4 time the last measure is our goal
You conduct me along with the swift movements of your bow
Sweat collects on your prominent brow as you hit the note a little too low
Andante to vivace my heart rushes to tempo
We hold our fermata embracing the moment, slow
The notes sit on the page while my thoughts dance with the rhythm
They leap and they frolic to the sounds of the broken hymn
A little sharp, maybe flat
Our pulses quicken assai, as though Haydn intended that
Like the Baroque Era wrote for us and our meetings in private
Our handshakes that last long and our glances that are silent
But it won’t last and we will face the caesura of our love
It transpires as we ignore the baton waving above
Our duet will end as it started, quickly, like the flight of a dove
Le Carnaval Des Animaux replicates my scrambled mind
No matter how hard I search, the answers I cannot find
In hectic chaos I’m blind to the clearest option staring straight at me
A simple kiss will suffice in helping me see
For to be the maestro I must know every part
Feel each chord progression and triad deep down in my heart
A kiss will answer if these feelings are true
Or if because of my dreams I have sudden interest in you
Whether the moment is a roar of fortissimo glory
Or it is a disappointing sforzando into the diminuendo of our story
Do you feel a crescendo when our eyes meet for a second?
Like we’re calling each other closer and with each blink we’ve beckoned
One another to draw in the coda finale
Together we may join and our notes, they will rally
By the last bar they’re in unison and our cadence is clear
The next movement will begin, there is nothing to fear

In the midst of the darkness
a wandering mind is elsewhere
in scenes that replay
purging a spectrum of thoughts
experiences
pains
sorrows
into one grand collage
of moments that instead
Should be flushed from
ones mind than constantly
be a reminder of such a
pitifully tragic life

You're my peace and my rest
At my worst and my best
My lover and my friend
My guardian till the end
My hope and my stay
Through night and through day
Together whenever
Now and forever

O' little girl why are you so unhappy?
You tread to and fro
Holding yourself in misery
You grunt and whine when you see yourself
What do you see little girl?
I see your beautiful hair
I see your progressively slimming figure
Everything about you is changing
Yet you still look unhappy
Who made you so little girl?
Who filled you with woe little girl?
Back and forth in a nervous rage
Like a ballerina ready to take the stage
You pace and pander and swiftly look away
As though the next image you see will be different
That you'll get what you want if you just steal one more glance
You check the tightness of your shirt and the fit of your pants
To love is to understand
Little girl, you don't have a chance

No matter how many words I write
I can’t get you out of my head tonight
Or out of my dreams in my bed, alright?
I try to write you away
Yet you stay

You make the sun slowly rise
I see my world in your eyes

I am like an elephant who remembers.
My life so endangered that I tread lightly

What a beauty you are,
My shining star
What a joy it is to live
And my heart to give
To you I owe the world
And every diamond or pearl

You’re in my every thought
To me, happiness you brought
You’re my paradise
The savior from my vice

You’ve always cared about me
It’s not hard to see
Your smile fills my heart
You inspire all my art
I laugh and cry with you
No matter what we do
I know you’re here to stay
I love you more each day

Until the end of time
Until the end of rhyme
I’ll be yours if you’ll be mine

Good enough?
Not so.
My mind full of doubt
And my heart full of woe
How to go on?
Reap what you sow

What to do with myself?
An isolated friend
If it's pushed to the end
and it breaks
Can it bend?

Now it's over-with, done
I can't take anymore
And it's no longer fun

I find joy in beads of blood
Like crystals gleaming
Or the reflections in a flood
The wounds they sting and burn
But despite the pain
To feel, I yearn
I lost myself today
In darkness I staggered
And sliced my skin the same old way
The crimson gathered slowly
Seeping from my sorrow
Like vultures to death, lowly
Do emotions ever end?
If I cry to the heavens
Perhaps an angel they'll send

You cause my veins to overflow
You help my brain to work and grow
My bloodstream to fill with dopamine
You keep me alert and lean
You help to keep me stable
Like walking on a thick cable
You pump my mood with Seratonin
Without you I feel alone and there's nothing I can do
You help me feel the pain in life
A skinned knee or sharp drawn knife
You make my world continue forward
Without you there's disorder
You make me cry
Without knowing why
You're the reason I feel love
Attraction to the person I think of
You reside in a small portion by my brain
Most people treat you with harsh disdain
But because of you I am me
And there's no one else I'd rather be
Today, tomorrow
In time I borrow
I thank you
Pituitary

What a world
What a life
So much pain
Much more strife
It comes crumbling down
I sit back and wonder
The thoughts buzz around
As I tear myself asunder
I watch from the outside
As it all closes in
The tears have now dried
And I've repented for my sin
Enter a new chapter of suffering and loss
No matter what I say
You're always the boss
I wale away at the bricks of my four walled prison
I scream and I yell
My freedom I envision
But the warden with the key is a man of great pride
And despite my futile attempts
To his orders I abide
Is it real or a joke this life I inhabit
I turn a new corner
And poke the bear, while I'm only a rabbit

The sky is crying for us
If there is a god, he is weeping over us
He never realized
The pain brought into our lives
And through the hazy days
And the shattered sunny rays
We wish to be swans
Because it would be easier to die of a broken heart
Than to live with one

The sun doesn't need to shine
Its rays don't need to glow
I'll be locked in my room anyway
Sitting at the window
Watching the clouds gather
The first drop hits the ground
Does it even matter?
Look,
It's starting to pour now
The drops crash down
And my window pane is soaked
The earth fades to a muddy brown
Where did the sun,
And the happiness go?

Depression is running through my head
Why am I alive, I should be dead
These thoughts, they cope inside of me
I'd much rather just set them free

These scars I've made
These cuts with my blade
I can't stop now, it's been forbade

I'm so close, near death now
The sorrow, the sadness, I'll soon drown
Anxiety, insomnia, the list goes on
I can't continue, this feels wrong

My life will end, I can see the light
It's finally over, no need to fight
The angels are waiting
My inner demons are dead

The depression is no longer running through my head

Roses are red
My blood is too
It's all over the floor and you never knew
My body is cold and lifeless indeed

My wrists they still continue to bleed

As she walked through town
She looked around
Only to realize
She was alone
Incased in her sadness
Looking for a way out
And by abandoning sadness
She would have nothing left

As the beast howled
The captain shouted
Over the wind and the rain
The burning skylines
Couldn't look the same
The monster was coming
They wouldn't survive
The crew and the captain
Would drown with the ship
And the treasure at their sides
The creature approached
As the crew manned the sails
The beast finally caught up
One mighty slash to the weak boat
It sank to the bottom
With the treasure,
Still in the cargo hold

As terrible as it sounds, I can’t imagine living a long life
I’m sick of it
My existence is a mere blip of what has been and what could be
I am a drop in the bucket
I wonder somedays if it’s worth getting up
Worth going to work
Worth any of it
I wonder if I cross the street a little too late
A little too slowly
If that transit bus will strike me just hard enough to end it
Because at least that way I’m not hurting my family and friends by killing myself
Not directly at least
I’m kind of tired of it
Life, that is
I mean, what’s the point?
My own mind and I can’t even be cordial
What a waste of space
If my sheer presence in the universe wasn’t such a monumental miracle, I’d give it up
Because sometimes
In these moments
I realize
Living is a fate worse than death