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yellow-thoughts Aug 2018
*
even with moon dust in her pockets
she couldn't catch his glance
so she turned back
to magic where she came from
...
***
yellow-thoughts May 2019
***
not everything has to make sense
not everything needs a reason
we need the space in between
where we can just think  
the moment when common sense isn't so common
the middle part of right and wrong

so when u see someone doing something u dont understand
dont ask why - just try it for yourself
yellow-thoughts Nov 2019
why░did░you░turn░around

when░i░was░right░ahead

ohhhh
closeness░­is░said░to░kill
whoever░is░not░in░love
ohhhh
it's░so░unfair░
the░­only░thing░i░asked
was░being░next░to░you
found some drafts :////
yellow-thoughts Jul 2019
ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ᴀʟʟ ɪᴍᴘᴏꜱꜱɪʙʟᴇ
'ᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ᴍʏ ʙᴏɴᴇꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ʙʟᴜꜱʜɪɴɢ
ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ ᴄᴇʟʟꜱ ᴅᴀɴᴄɪɴɢ
ᴇʏᴇꜱ ꜱɪɴɢɪɴɢ

ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇ ''ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ''
ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ꜱᴀʏ ᴛʜᴇ ɪᴍᴘᴏꜱꜱɪʙʟᴇ ʙᴏʏ
yellow-thoughts Mar 2019
I know im not special
just one more girl
whose obsessed with her feeling
about boy who doesn't care

but emotions are keeping all of us alive
it differs to which emotions we want to hold on
im not ashamed,

addicted to you - hurtful memories- sweet emotions-
and of course, in the end, addicted to the PAST

some of us are drowning everything in alcohol
but im drowning myself in memories
what is worse - you decide
but im obsessed over the past and future can't change that!
yellow-thoughts Mar 2018
so magical and so scary
when time flies
and it doesn't think about you
it let's you decide
your own destiny
...
/M.A./
yellow-thoughts Dec 2017
i really didn't believe that "almost" was possible...
i strongly believed that everything
either happened or didn't happen
and then everything was black or white
i guess there wasn't in between.

you showed my a new world
and i'm not thanking you
because now it's all messed up
there are rainbows and colors in between colors
and i didn't ask for that!

i thought that
yeahh everything would be okay
because you would be here to show me around
but there were one problem
you were the definitions of "almost".
almost is the saddest word...
i guess
yellow-thoughts Feb 2018
don't let me be alone for too long
being by my self is dangerous
it's i will never need you again dangerous
or i will scream my lungs out dangerous
there's always possibility i wont be there anymore
and that that i could lose myself by myself
so please don't leave my side
...
/M.A./
yellow-thoughts Jan 2018
i thought that i was so alone in this grey world
and i was so wrong and so right about it
so my point in this pointless topic is
that it's okay to be alone while you are feeling fine

but when i started speaking to and watching people
'cause my alone time started to be unhealthy
i realized we are not alone in that
that all of us are alone in this universe

HA such a plot twist, am i right...?
but in real life i really started speaking to some of people, and they are similar to me, but my kind of people doesn't want friends. because it's another chance to get hurt, so idk
yellow-thoughts Sep 2019
You're like a band-aid
so attached to my skin
and you always thought
I was the weak one
but when the time came
I just riped you of like a band-aid
fast and in one breath

You never asked me
why I have so many bruises
their there cause I rip bandaids off often
You are the week one
All of you are so easy to pull off
or Im just used to that
yellow-thoughts Jan 2018
hi, i'm blonde now.

and everyone loves it so much
but why?
why you people like this simple color
it's so boring and plain
ohhhh i hate it so much

it remainds me of perfection
it's just like BARBIE
that freaking doll
and you all like it
and i'm starting to hate
you all for that!
like what color should i get next? >.<
yellow-thoughts Jan 2018
breath in,
breath in so much air that it hurts
that your lungs hurt
and now keep breathing in
stop, wait
and let it all out

this action represents life
how?

we can take, take, and take
but sooner or later
we have to let it go
there is no chose
in any directions

/M.A./
yellow-thoughts Jan 2018
butterfly you're not like the others
you're humble and earnest
you 're an ancient mystery
like the secret of beauty
and a light of hope
...
/M.A./
yellow-thoughts Feb 2018
i'm chasing time,
you're chasing me
and she's chasing you,
i have this feeling
that maybe only i can see
this endless circle,
this infinity
...
/M.A./
yellow-thoughts Jul 2018
cherry on the top
is like special price
like something more then you deserved

but what if there is nothing
where to put that cherry
then it isn't special
then it's just a cherry

same with people
if they have good personalities
then cherry on top is that they are beautiful

but if they are only beautiful
then its like a simple cherry
nothing special. . .

but to know- i don't like cherries
yellow-thoughts Dec 2017
my drug and addiction

i have to drink coffee
or else my head wants to explode
but like in medical terms
it's my pain killer

but in the same time
coffee makes my hands shaky
and heart too fast and
i want to do everything at once
and nothing at all

i really don't like coffe
it tastes like nothing
like burned sugar
and its blackness scares me

what should i do?
if i don't like my savior...
what's your relationship with coffee? xD
yellow-thoughts Feb 2018
i can't depend on my feeling
they are so untrustworthy
they make me do stuff i don't like
and hate things i love
they are confusing me
and the best part - they blame me in everything
yellow-thoughts Jan 2020
ohhhhhh boy
   i wont get attached again
now i know
now i will
brake my own heart
   befor you do
now
   i don't live in memorys
  i only collect them
so i dare you
yellow-thoughts Jul 2018
pull me in the darkness where stars are catching themselves
and give me light if your heart is still burning
and return to me the darkest shadows of the sun

while kissing you my thoughts get slow
promise to never let me go
because my demons are speaking about your hands

while you write my name on your palm
don't tell me your life story
because if i would have to hear your voice i would put a curse on myself

ill give you an advise - hold me with force
because when i see love, i usually run
i'm probably a bad influence

but i cant help my dark love
yellow-thoughts May 2018
no one needs pretty words
or fancy gifts anymore
we all have hunger for deep connections
for someone who understood us

if we can't reach this goal
it ends our lives
it makes us feel numb
and to feel like mistakes...

/M.A./
yellow-thoughts Jan 2018
when ever i push delete button
i press it few more times
even there isn't anything to delete
'cause i'm hoping
it could delete
all my mistakes
my ****** up life mistakes
and maybe even my life
kgfokbpogjm
yellow-thoughts Jan 2018
you look into my eyes so easy
how the hell do you do that?
when you look so easily to me
i'm starting to think that
you did feel nothing for me

when ever i look into your eyes
even when i'm trying not to
i get shot with lightning
yellow-thoughts May 2018
when there is new love on the corner
who is smiling like blind
and you are falling for it,
but you know how it gonna end
so why you are up for it?
do you?
do you really want to go through it all again?
yellow-thoughts Jan 2018
i'm wondering do you hate me
because you are avoiding me
i think we ended it all together
because it was both of our faults

why are we strangers now

we both together didn't work and so what
some of people aren't meant for each other
but that doesn't mean that i don't want you in my life
why all of us are assuming something
we even doesn't ask face to face
we just assuming
i'm guilty too
maybe you don't want people like me in your life
maybe you don't hate me, just don't want me
HA what's better
it all turned even worse


Hey!
can i ask you a personal question?
Do You Hate me?
i really think that he hates me ;(
yellow-thoughts Dec 2017
if i couldn't dream
then i couldn't breath
i just would't stand living.

when i'm go to sleep
i'm going to my world
there everything is better
more exiting more dramatized

this world is too plane for me
i can't stand this feeling of disappearing

in the dream realm
i'm feel more alive
then in the real world
...
dreams and dreaming is everything for me
yellow-thoughts Jan 2022
let's close our eyes and immerse into
some sweet lingering thoughts in the air
while the space in between is empty
and silence cannot reach out of it
we'll jump on the next free cloud

are you ready to spill your imagination?
use the bucket which is on your neck
sliding under the unpleasantries
in search for your destinies voice
but no dream can give you a straight answer

wait a while here for an idea to disappear
because that's what you get
lying in the labyrinth of your mind
sit straight while I do the work
setting this dream on the right rode
yellow-thoughts Jan 2018
i'm a drunker i guess
i'm in love with that feeling
when you feel your blood pumping
and then sorrow feels so good
too good to be true
...
mehh..
yellow-thoughts Jul 2018
sometimes i'm so unbelievably sorry
about things i can't put in the words

they say it's easy to express your emotions
i'ts easy to say what on your mind
and what's bothering you

but is it really so EASY?

that's why i'm so sorry
about... things... with no words....
everything is so easy
and not so easy in the same time...
yellow-thoughts Dec 2017
in love with stars
in love with animals, trees and sunsets
in love with you
in love with everything

but then...
something hits me
misunderstood emotions
unknown waters
something what isn't there

everything is beautiful
but just for some time
and then everything
turns           around

and i don't know what to do
or   what   to   say
everything     just    blurs    out  
and       no     one       understands       me . . .
yellow-thoughts Jan 2018
..
sometimes emptiness is so heavy
you feel nothing while feeling everything
it's a wild ride in empty dessert
it's hot while you're shivering
it's wet while there aren't any water
like having wings while you can't fly
like swimming in the air and drowning
when you know everything and can't say anything
..
/M.A./
yellow-thoughts Dec 2017
sometimes i'm feeling like a empty bag
yeahh sometimes people fill me
but it's not for long

because they all need their content back

and then i'm empty again
and again
...
I don't know why I'm still trusting some people,
like why everyone is using me?
yellow-thoughts Feb 2018
if you ask me- fairies are so tempting
i would want to be a part of their world
that dangerous beauty which fascinates
which makes you bleed from eyes
and in the same time makes you fall in love
their love is either cruel or real there's no in between
it sound scary, thrilling and captivating
i really want to change sides, please..
...
/M.A./
i have always loved stories about fairies..
yellow-thoughts Feb 2018
i have always lied about my favorite color
i don't know why...

i'm saying it's blue, like sea and sky
but i have always loved white
i don't know why...

i love it's pureness
and white reminds me of possibilities
i don't know why...

the only thing i know for sure
i'm always striving for it..

/M.A./
yellow-thoughts Nov 2019
distant scream so far away
but ohh how close to you're heart
how about checking the source?
moments of silence and a thought
suggesting sudden road change
where and why...

why...
you're scared of unknown?
ohh but i know so well why

it
    frightens
                 you

the PossibilITY
yellow-thoughts Dec 2017
its great to have good memory they say...
but is it?

with time i would forget you they say...
but would i?

having good memory is great
but there is a cost

i'm trying to forget you
but it will be an eternity..
im sorry about my english...
yellow-thoughts Apr 2020
when you're not heart broken
what's there to write about
probably i have to look for happy things
but finding feelings is little harder
than pouring unwanted love on the page
yellow-thoughts Dec 2017
i know i forgive you
i know you didn't see me
because no one does

while they speak they are running through
always forgetting about me
doesn't remember, doesn't notice, doesn't see

it's nothing i don't care
pain now and then seems unbearable
ignore pain ignore them

it's not my fault i said
and then he followed me
photographers doesn't lie they don't care about cruelty

i'm there, in the first one screamed
in the second cried in third jumped
all the others doesn't count because there is nothing to see

only a girl in the corner
whose heart jumped off the cliff
and eyes who are dancing waltz of pain.
yellow-thoughts Dec 2017
even if i was tired
drunk and half asleep
i didn't sleep and for the first time
thought that maybe i don't have to die
to fell good or happy...
HA HA star of hope..
Sometimes i'm trying to drink my problems away... do u?
yellow-thoughts Dec 2017
have you ever thought
how would you want to die?

i have

burning to death
would be too noisy
too red i guess
and i don't like red

taking pills
would be too fast
and too painful i guess
i'm tired of pain

jumping of height
would be impossible in my town
and too fascinating
it would be like flying

but imagine drowning
i think it would be magical
water have always called me
time would stop
i wouldn't hear anything
and stop breathing
but i still would be there
in silence, in stillness,
in water, in calmness,
it would be like
a holidays for eternity
.........
i think about it too often i guess..
yellow-thoughts Jan 2018
i don't have an answer to that question
but i have more questions

how you can say out loud something
that you can't put in words?
how you can explain that to people
who still cares about you?
how you can feel understood
when no one understands?
how can i even feel something
i cant explain?
how this all works?
?

so many questions but no answers
i quess it's life
..?
ohh everything is so complicated and simple at the same time..
yellow-thoughts Nov 2019
the worst best friend of mine
comes to sleepovers
but never wants to leave them
she's obsessed over the past
talking about memories
but mostly she's quiet
she's just there with me
it doesn't sound so bad
but when she leaves
i feel relief, like i can breathe again
after a long time i gave up
asking her to leave
cause...


sadness   comes   and    goes   as   she    pleases
yellow-thoughts Jan 2018
this numbness
when i don't want to push
these buttons
but words are flowing
and feelings are gone
for everything
and nothing has a reason

i hate this feeling
yellow-thoughts Aug 2018
eventually flowers wither and becomes ugly
sooner or later stories ends

like our downfall was inevitable
love and affection disappears
learning new words:)
yellow-thoughts Feb 2018
drug a bucket of salt,
sew all blankets together,
light a candle in the sun,
'cause why not..?

sometimes we don't need a reason
we just need an inspiration
...
/M.A./
yellow-thoughts Aug 2018
when your internet connection is slow
for a split second you realize
that this wireless world controls you
but next moment you keep scrolling your feed
and in the next split second forgot about it...
forgot how time consuming and deadly is this addiction...
yellow-thoughts Dec 2017
you know what's so ironic?

I love this planet...

but in this place i can't
imagine myself being happy.
what should I do with my life lol?
yellow-thoughts Jul 2018
i want to feel pain
simple human emotions
useless tears, full smiles
bright lies and needles loughs
wanting too much of my dreams
they promises a full heart
i want my world full of grace
dreams, pain, thirst and  then drugs
i want to argue and fight
surrender to my sinister thoughts
and now no one can interfere
so please make me worry
i want to feel pain
and simple human emotions.

/m.a/
emotions are priceless!
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