I wish you said yes.
I'm glad you said no.

A road less traveled
is one I follow
as a child of loss
and sorrow.
I weave a path
of smoke and ash
to burn the memories
of days past.

I sit and watch
as the stain slowly seeps
into the fibers of our white carpet

You stand and watch
as the stain of red
deepens on the hand print on my cheek

The silence in the house
grows heavy
with the stillness
of the moment

Waiting on the edge of patience
to see
who will explode first

But the silence
will be disappointed
to know that this time
will be different

You stare in shock
at the outcome of your actions
but I wait no longer to reply

I slip off the shackle
of metal and rock
and place it carefully on the table

And leave my seat
unoccupied
for today
tomorrow
and the day after that

I head for the door
ignoring your please
and calls
that you'll change

It's over
I'm done
I'm never coming back

A moment

That's all it takes

A single moment

The touch of a loved one
The laugh of a stranger
The shy smile from the little boy
hiding behind his mother's leg

There and then not

Did you savour it
Lean into it
Let it sink deep

Or did it pass you
Did you let it slip away
Unaware of its purpose

One moment



That's all it takes

And so I rest

as if every dream that has been




never was to begin with

How sad it is
That you do not realize
The love that is here for you

If only you choose to
Turn your gaze toward me.

Far from home but never far

What once was,
will never be again,
but maybe that is how
it was always meant to be.

How easy it is
To say
Chase your dreams

Than to actually
Stop
And live them

I don't know when I started to realize the hurt

The real reason why this feels like fingers pressed against glass

pushing

So fragile this barrier dividing us
with the answers so clear

And still

as if connection never existed
we live as strangers within ourselves

and with each other

Until there comes a day

where you finally realize
the glass is a mirror

And that
the anger
the resentment
the hurt

you thought you were seeing through


you were actually seeing reflected back













That's the day you wake up

Our Hearts
stare
at one another

With wishes
So easily granted

Will the fog clear today

Like clockwork
11am
and my eyes open

the same blurry thought makes its way to the surface

will it be today

will the dull dissipate
the confusion clear

this edge of uncertainty
uncertain about possibilities
that might not be possible

this worry

I cannot explain it but my father says I
worry too much

Too much or too little

Too much
too much
too much

dense whispers
in the light of the shadow

but what exactly to see

11am
Will the fog clear today

They always say home is where the heart is

but we always assume the heart is with someone else

Do you see
why that home will always be broken

home has always been with you
and will always be with you

Home is where the heart is

Home

...
is you

You fed my mind
and I was hoping that
you would feed my heart too

I felt like a fool when I said that to you

All you could do was stare
but in the end
now my mind is clear

No more doubts
or second guesses

No more worries
or jealousy over someone I never had

I can move on from this idea of we
to the idea of me

to cherish myself
nurture my mind
soothe my soul

and when I no longer think of you
when the right one comes along

I wont have to ask

I hate who I am

And I never want to get to the point
where I leave you


because I leave me.

One day

I hope you'll be as free as your laughter

Some days






I feel the wind

a little too well

I lie to your face so I can lie to my soul.
Pretending that it's you I must deceive.
When really it is myself who can't seem
to see the truth and believe.
Because if I see the truth and acknowledge it,
I will prove to myself that I'm just a fake.
Hiding behind words of fantasy
to escape my reality.

Its as they say

with time
even the deepest wound
will heal

For a moment
I let myself believe
your lies

that the wound you left on my heart
would never heal

but today
as I awoke
the sunlight filtering through
my window

my first thought
wasnt of you

I'm glad I stayed today,
because now,
I'll be here tomorrow.

see what you must





then take the steps to go where you should

In time
I too
Shall be
The sun

Who do you cry too

When everyone cries to you

I've given too much
to care so little

I've only lived so many years

Only lived in so many places

Have only met so many people
And have only experienced so many things

But I've lived more than one life through every connection


Lived in all of the places they have been

Felt every feeling one feels with their loved ones








And have seen time as they have seen
it

unwind

And though it may seem impossible



through their eyes I see me

the world



in their reflection

Maybe
One day
I'll tell you

But for now
My story

Is mine

Sometimes
I wish you would
Fade away
And take these feelings
With you

Why am I scared
To make us
More than friends?

My soul is tired
It seeps into my bones

Not a numbness
Not a chill

A knowing