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4d · 505
Friends
My friends used
To always be around
Good times, bad times
It didn't really matter
Every day was a new
Exciting adventure

Fast forward 10 years
Our group is scaterred
All over the world and
We've become merely
Memoirs to reminisce
On my insomnia nights
Realized I don't have any friend left. Did my depression took the best of me? Did I become that dull? Or that's just how being a grown up supposed to be? I really couldn't say...
I never felt more alone.
Gazes magnetically meet
Across the crowded room
A slight touch of hands as we
Pass through the hallway
I steal a kiss when
No one's around

P.s. no one can know
About a girl I hurt a lifetime ago...
7d · 390
The gallow
I can feel the rough rope
Gently caressing my neck
Embracing it like an old friend
I'm not afraid, I'm just tired
So very tired of everything

So I take a deep breath, 1, 2, 3...
And in a passionless swift move
I kick the bench under my feet
Dance in the air for a little while
Until I finally find my peace
Note 1: this poem was reported and taken out of HP. After a review, it went back on (gladly Eliot York has more sense than the one who flagged it).
Note 2: if you're having this kind of thoughts, please, talk about it. Seek help!
Original note: Another nightmare I had last week. Woke up sweating and frantically kicking the air.
It's not like suicide is a new thing to me - I attempted it when I was 15... but I haven't had suicidal thoughts in many years. And that's as scary as it gets. I don't wanna give in to them.
Jan 9 · 703
Strangers
We can be strangers if you like
We can talk about the weather
Our silly plans for the weekend
Or how life has been kind to us
Trust me, I'm a terrific actor
You'll hardly be able to tell

We can be strangers if you like
Or at least we can pretend that
It doesn't shred us to pieces...
Have you ever come across friends and lovers that meant the world to you... and then had to act like they were mere acquaintances?
Never mind... hello there, stranger!
Jan 8 · 175
The attic
Since I was a little kid
There was something
Deeply disturbing about
The attic at my parent's
It was chilling cold there
It made unnatural noises
And it felt like the walls
Were always watching

One night when I was 17
And home alone, I woke up
To what sounded like nails
Scratching the wooden panels
So at the top of my teenager
Stupidity, I took an old pistol
And went to check out what
Was going on there

I went upstairs, gun drawn
Just to have my jaw dropped as
I saw this slim and tall shadow
Standing in front of the fireplace
I stood there in utter shock for
What seemed like a lifetime
Until I gathered the courage
To ask: 'who are you?'

The shadow replied with
A deep and inhuman voice:
'I'm the demon that your
Grandfather brought with him
From the Great War in the east
From him, I passed down to your
Father and now the time has
Come for me to dwell in you'

In an adrenaline rush, I ran
Downstairs as fast as I could
Slammed my beedroom door
Locked it and barricaded it
But the demon wouldn't quit
He tried to break in, frantically
Pounding and screaming:
'Let me in, let me in'
This is the most terrifying nightmare I ever had. My therapist said this is my subconscious telling me I want to be different from my father and his father... but I don't know. To this day, I'm not entirely sure it wasn't real.
Jan 7 · 286
Multiverse
In another dimension
Galaxies away from here
Would it matter?
What if?
Jan 5 · 380
The undoing
I'm terrified
With the idea
That our undoing
Might become the
Latest addition to my
Vast list of shortcomings
Yesterday my wife said she wants to move out. I know she meant it and I can't say that I blame her, for I wouldn't want to stay married with my current self either. I really hope that I can make her come around. I'm just not sure how.
Jan 2 · 335
Windmills
Perhaps you're my Dulcinea
And I'm only a fool taking
Windmills for giants
How delusional can I be...?
Dec 2024 · 199
Fool's gold
Peter Garrett Dec 2024
I craved for more for
As long as I remember
Tailor-made Italian suit
A brand new sports car
That penthouse with a
Postcard city view

So I sold my soul for it
Gave away my innocence
Scarred my mental health
Lost my very joie de vivre
In the process of chasing
Those shinny promises

But now that I got there
I realize that I fought for
No more than fool's gold
Useless junk that'll never
Fill the void that is to exist
Being a broken thing
Hope the future brings some perspective...
Dec 2024 · 504
Losing game
Peter Garrett Dec 2024
You always beat me
At every game we played
So when I broke your heart
It was only natural that
You'd shatter mine
Effortlessly
Checkmate
Dec 2024 · 839
Disaster
Peter Garrett Dec 2024
Perhaps we weren't
Fated to much more
Than disaster
Anyway
Such a lovely trainwreck...
Dec 2024 · 994
Autopilot
Peter Garrett Dec 2024
I don't want to stay
On autopilot anymore
I wanna go home with a
Bouquet of wild flowers
Cook your favorite meal
And dance with you to
A Chet Baker song on
Our balcony by the
Light of the stars
I want to be here with my body and soul
Dec 2024 · 2.4k
Last dance
Peter Garrett Dec 2024
I don't want
To be forgiven
I wanna walk to
That graveyard by
The black forest
Kiss Myrtha and
Dance with the
Willis until
I'm dead
Based on the ballet 'Giselle'... and in my current state of mind.
Dec 2024 · 2.5k
Superglue
Peter Garrett Dec 2024
After years of
Constant self-abuse
I've finally reached
My breaking point
And I don't think
Superglue will
Do this time
Congrats Peter, you've done it...
Dec 2024 · 652
Cyanide
Peter Garrett Dec 2024
Not entirely sure
What's more toxic
You, me or cyanide
I guess I'll have a shot of cyanide, please...
Dec 2024 · 544
Northern lights
Peter Garrett Dec 2024
Follow the North Star
Until you can reach
The northern lights
There we'll dance
With the spirits of old
And know that we
Found a place
To call home
I never had a chance to see the northern lights... what a sight they must be.
Dec 2024 · 994
Star-crossed
Peter Garrett Dec 2024
You once told me
That we're bound to
Be star-crossed lovers
Ill-fated by the Norns
Doomed to fail from
The very start

And so we remain
Perfectly unfinished
A bittersweet loose end
Beautifully haunting the
Back of my mind to
The end of my days
Not a sad poem... just a tough one. The very last.
Nov 2024 · 1.8k
Stupid idea
Peter Garrett Nov 2024
Loving you is the
One stupid idea that
I'll never regret having
How could I ever do so...?
Nov 2024 · 1.6k
Depression
Peter Garrett Nov 2024
Today I've just laid
In my bed the entire day
Feeling absolutely numb
And that's what scares
Me the most...

I don't wanna go down
That road again
Every word feels off... everything feels off. But I kinda needed to write it anyway.
Nov 2024 · 2.2k
Brave
Peter Garrett Nov 2024
I'm afraid of failure
Of becoming a burden
But above all, I'm afraid
Of hurting the ones I love
And ending up alone...

Yet I'm here, I've shown
In the face of my demons
And screamed at them
That they'll never take
The very best of me

So I may not be fearless
I'm quite fine with that
For I'm brave
I never regarded myself as the courageous type... until the day I realized that being brave doesn't mean being fearless. Being brave means facing your fears in order to do what you must.
Nov 2024 · 546
Goodbye
Peter Garrett Nov 2024
You had every right to leave
But not without saying
Goodbye
I needed some closure...
Nov 2024 · 400
Lebensbalance
Peter Garrett Nov 2024
Sometimes
Life feels like
Carrying a piano
While walking on
A tightrope
It's hard being strong without losing balance...
Nov 2024 · 411
One
Peter Garrett Nov 2024
One
Wrap your legs around me
And let me fade into you
Until our souls
Become one
Such sweet embrace...
Nov 2024 · 613
Writer's block
Peter Garrett Nov 2024
I'm afraid my words
Will forever rest on
This mediocrity pillow
And I shall never be
Worthy of the
Muse's kiss
A poem about writer's block is such a bad cliché... but my friend Mariya here at HP was just talking the other day about 'der Kuss der Muse', so I think it's appropriate to write about it.
Nov 2024 · 271
Stay
Peter Garrett Nov 2024
You knew from
The very start how
Badly messed up I am
So you should've said no
You should've runaway
Yet I'm glad you didn't
I'm glad you chose
To stay
I can only hope that I haven't fooled you into it...
Nov 2024 · 3.1k
Bleed
Peter Garrett Nov 2024
I often think about
How he took you to
That filthy motel and
Made you bleed just
So that he wouldn't
One of my best friends got pregnant when she was a teenager. She was very scared, but wanted the child anyway. Yet her ******* boyfriend (the father) took her to a motel and made her do an abortion.
She never recovered and took her life within a year... no woman should be forced to do an abortion. Just as any woman should be forbidden to do one.
Oct 2024 · 798
Hell
Peter Garrett Oct 2024
I've given up religion
After every church said
There's a special place
For people like me
Just for trying to
Make my pain
Go away
My father beat me up pretty badly for as long as I can remember... when I was fifteen I said no more and gave him a little of what he deserved - and got kicked out of his house for it. That same week my first girlfriend dumped me.
It was just too much for a teen to handle without proper help and it seemed like that despair would stay forever. So I went to 3 different drug stores and bought every pain killer I could get my hands into... and took them all at once. I was so lucky my system rejected them and made me throw up.
So that's why I cut the cord from church... isn't God love? Isn't God forgiveness? Or am I doomed almost from the start?
I like to think not... I like to think that's no more than an earthly claim.
Oct 2024 · 332
Gap
Peter Garrett Oct 2024
Gap
If filling the gap
Between the man I am
And the one you deserve
Isn't enough reason to
Get up in the morning
Then I don't know
What ever will
I like to think I'll get there...
Oct 2024 · 364
Ode to coffee
Peter Garrett Oct 2024
Only you can take
Me out of bed and
Get me through the
Dullness of my day
Only you can give me
Energy enough to keep
All those intrusive
Thoughts at bay

No need for sugar
No need for cream
I like you dark
Bitter and true
I believe we make
Such a perfect team
When we're together
I never feel blue

So call it love
Call it addiction
I couldn't care less
If I have a cup of
Hot strong coffee
I won't fade to stress
Just one cup will be fine... or maybe twenty.
Oct 2024 · 630
Mind over body
Peter Garrett Oct 2024
Mind over body
Is what they tell me
Yet I can't help to feel
That's just placing
A broken thing
Over another
I feel so exhausted lately... in every single way. Hopefully it shall pass.
Oct 2024 · 1.1k
Routeless
Peter Garrett Oct 2024
I wish things could be
As simple as they were
Back then when I would
Pick you up at school
And we'd drive
All day long
Routeless
I miss being young and carefree by your side
Oct 2024 · 1.6k
Death and taxes
Peter Garrett Oct 2024
It'll all work out
It'll all work out
It'll all work out

These are the words
I've been repeating
To myself nonstop for
The past few months
Like a compulsive
Prayer

But I'm not sure
Of them anymore
To be honest I'm not
Quite sure of anything
These days other than
Death and taxes
A piece about anxiety... plus, I'm a tax auditor, so a little joke about work as well.
Oct 2024 · 1.1k
Combo
Peter Garrett Oct 2024
It's such a lovely combo
The warmth of your legs
Paired with the frost
On your heart
You're the whole package
Oct 2024 · 306
Berlin
Peter Garrett Oct 2024
Yesterday I took
A day off and drove
All the way to Berlin
A seven hours roadtrip
(Which I made in four)
Like the ones I used to do
Back when we were young
Just because you said that
There'd be some party and
It'd be cool if I showed up

Yesterday I walked
In the pouring rain
Around the Tiergarten
Like we did so many times
Because you were having
A tough day and wanted
To talk about it

Yesterday I've had
Some coffee in our old
Place in Prenzlauer Berg
And I swear that for a
Moment I could glance
Across that familiar table
Your emerald green eyes
And the wild flames of
Your red hair

I know it's kind of stupid
Keep coming to this place
Now that you're happily
Married and with children
Living half the world away
In America

But those memories are
The closest I'll ever be
Of seeing you again
And for that Berlin
Will forever have
A special place
In my heart
Every street is such a vivid reminder of you
Oct 2024 · 2.4k
Bang
Peter Garrett Oct 2024
The only thing worse
Than pulling the trigger
Is spending your entire Life
With a barrel on your mouth
Just waiting for that 'bang'
P.s. This is not a poem about suicide. It's about expectations. About living with a heavy burden and never being able to set free of it.
Oct 2024 · 1.8k
Beauty
Peter Garrett Oct 2024
Empires have fallen
For a beauty lesser
Than yours
Helen of Troy would pale by your side
Sep 2024 · 1.3k
Void
Peter Garrett Sep 2024
My childhood was
Fu**ed up in a way that
I can hardly feel anything
So now I keep on playing
The character I've created
In a futile attempt to fill
Such endless void
Will I ever get to see colours again...?
Sep 2024 · 1.7k
Alcoholism
Peter Garrett Sep 2024
Hold my beer
While I get some whisky
And become a stranger to
Everyone I've ever known
I swear to God I'll never drink again...
Sep 2024 · 373
Fighter's soul
Peter Garrett Sep 2024
My body is broken
But doesn't really matter
How badly beat up I get
My soul still wants
To pick a fight

I guess we fighters
Are just made like that
We never really know
When and how to quit
We're too **** tough
For our own good

We just want that fire
So we keep pushing
On and forward
Forward and on
Wonder where it'll lead us...
Sep 2024 · 183
Home
Peter Garrett Sep 2024
I long for home
Though I'm not sure
Where home is anymore
It's exhausting not knowing where you belong...
Sep 2024 · 1.2k
Quite a view
Peter Garrett Sep 2024
How I deeply wish that
You could see yourself
The way I do
For it's quite a view
To my wife... how can a person so beautiful have such a terrible self esteem?
Sep 2024 · 518
All about me
Peter Garrett Sep 2024
I should've been a better friend
I should've been there for you
I should've known better...
But as much as it pains me
To admit such terrible truth
You know I've always been
The narcissistic type
And had to make it
All about me
One of the hardests confessions I've ever made...
Sep 2024 · 447
Unreplied letters
Peter Garrett Sep 2024
The weeds in our garden
Grew as fast as the pile
Of your unreplied letters
Such a sad race to behold...
Sep 2024 · 768
Poetry scam
Peter Garrett Sep 2024
I could never write
Anything remotely
As flawless as you do
So I'll fake it until
Someday I can find
Beauty in words too
It's hard not to feel like a fraud among such amazing writers here at hepo.
Sep 2024 · 340
30's
Peter Garrett Sep 2024
I desperately hold on to
The remnants of my youth
As late autumn dying leaves
Getting older is such a scary thought...
Sep 2024 · 406
Pizza love
Peter Garrett Sep 2024
With flour, you can make dough
With tomatoes, you can make sauce
But top them with cheese
And add a little heat
And you can make magic
There's food, there's great food, and then there's pizza.
Sep 2024 · 710
Attraction
Peter Garrett Sep 2024
When our eyes met
And our hands touched
It was inevitable that
Our bodies would
Soon follow
You were as irresistable as ice cream on a summer day...
Sep 2024 · 422
Little thrills
Peter Garrett Sep 2024
You say I'm insane for
Driving my brand new cabrio
With its roof wide open
In the pouring rain
But have you ever tried?
Who needs that new car smell anyway...?
Aug 2024 · 279
Inertia
Peter Garrett Aug 2024
It's as sad as it gets...
To behold the world out there
Bursting with magnificent colours
While I'm comfortably stuck
On the other side of the glass
Drowning in my own inertia
A few words about getting older. About everyday struggles and how futile they seem. Maybe society is just built to glue us to the ground... or maybe there's just something wrong with me.
Aug 2024 · 228
Quarter life crisis
Peter Garrett Aug 2024
I used to be bold and fearless
Annoyingly self assured
Daydreaming about greatness
Telling everyone about how
Someday I'd rule the world.

Those days are long gone
Making me feel like a hollow shell
A mere shadow of my former self
And life became all about
Playing a role I simply can't fit
Fooling everyone...
But me
Will this anguish and emptiness ever go away?
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