I am torn between
wanted to disappear and
wanting to be seen

10:20 PM
3/1/20

You may not
know this,
but your tears water my heart.
And from your tears,
love blooms
in this garden
of our tomorrow.

Some nights I
think about dragging
myself back to Hell,
and then I think
maybe it's best
to let go.

One day you'll be gone
and I have to figure out
how to deal with that

12:01 AM
20/9/22

If I was summer
then you were winter
that enveloped my sun
in an endless cold.
Where we would swim in lakes
you would freeze over in ice
and everything else I had grown.
Every flower I planted for you
was destined to wither and
not even my sun could
withstand your storm.

I want to love and
I want to feel alive so
what's holding me back?

12:18 PM
9/4/22

Why are we always
looking for love in the wrong
people and places?

6:39 PM
7/11/20

Some days are harder than others.
This separation cuts deep and all I can do
is hope that I will see you soon.
Come back into my arms,
anchor this heart so that I
will not fade from yours.

I do not need you,
I think I just need to not
need you anymore

11:02 AM
24/10/20

I will wait for you
where the sunflowers
meet the sun.

How can you
blame others for
breaking your heart
when you don't
love yourself?

You have made a galaxy
within me the way you paint
stars upon this soul.
I explore this galaxy of us,
forever in awe of the
wonders and mysteries
you left within my heart.

The nights
are growing darker
and the waves
are getting rougher
Surrounded by
darkness and disarray,
I make my haven
in this boat built for two.
This love is an ocean
beneath a sky of uncertainty-
it consumes us night after night.
But, together,
we take this voyage-
just me and you.

Hold my beating heart,
it's the only piece of me
I still live without

3:59 PM
12/9/20

Sitting on a crowded bus
on my way to another show,
wondering why I bothered
leaving home in the first place.

Today
I will pretend
it's any other day.
Today
I will try not
to cry out your name.
Today
I will try to not
to let it hurt so bad.
Today
was never meant
to be so sad.

You and I
were born on
opposite ends
of the galaxy.
All my life,
I have clung to the stars
just to make my way
to your constellation.

It was good
while it lasted,
wasn't it?
But all things must end and
though I may miss it,
things are better left
in the past.

Another year
is here,
another promise
of change.
But my only wish
is for our love
to stay
the same.

Ugly thoughts
and ugly habits
on a Wednesday night.
I’m out of *** and
have an early start tomorrow.
It's just me, my pen and
these thoughts now.  
****...

How did they
break your heart?
I want to find new and
amazing ways of putting
it back together
again.

Winter goes into hibernation
and spring comes out a little early in August.
Brief but blissful moments of warmth
come and go,
bringing with it,
memories of a love lost long ago.

It is too easy to decorate
yourself with plastic flowers when
the gardens of your heart
has withered.

You make me feel like
'Dreams' by Fleetwood Mac on a
fresh Sunday morning

11:19 AM
4/2/24

There's nothing sadder
than facing the future without
the one you planned it with.

The greatest men are
the most alone... at least that's
what I tell myself

9:20 PM
27/10/20

When the distance
begins to burn,
I call you 'the sea'.
Suddenly, you are here and
you wash away every flame
in my heart, my soul,
and my mind.

I don't believe in
intelligent design yet
somehow you're divine

1:18 PM
16/8/20

It took a lot of
courage to tell you that I
am far from okay

5:10 AM
16/12/19

Still in between
waking up on a
crisp Sunday morning and
these dreams of you.

Truly, my favorite
time of the week.

Don't be my regret,
be my only memory
and my only love

9:20 PM
16/11/19

Some pains can go unseen,
rather, they are carved into the soul,
an endless chasm that bleeds forever.
These pains are silent to the world,
but they tear us apart from within.
And only from deep within
are crying out so loud that
only our demons can hear.

Memories never leave us,
no matter how much time has passed.
How selfish of the human mind-
to dig up memories
one thought they had buried
long ago.

Do I think
you're a bad person?
No, I think
you were a vulnerable person
thrown into an arduous situation.
Only few can handle
that sort of pressure.

You don't need
a 'better-half'.
what you need
is to make yourself
whole again.

All too often can I
count with one hand,
the number of those
who care to ask-
"How are you?"
And much lesser of those
who honestly want to
hear my answer.

I think about about
all the time and energy
I've spent on people who
have walked out of my life and
I wonder what I could have done
for myself instead.

Maybe
you will be
the unexpected
message in my inbox
tonight or
maybe it's just
more wishful
thinking.

I don't think I
have felt love for
far longer than I
care to admit,
so what have I
been doing all
these years?

I don't know what to
say to you except that I
lost my heart to you

10:22 AM
29/1/22

There,
you will forever stay,
my favorite place of all:
our memories.

I want to hold your hand
through foreign streets
and kiss you under
foreign skies.
Baby, we're just two foreigners
lost in foreign lands and
lost in each other's eyes.

I have nothing
left to say to you
anymore.
I now know what you have done
and who you really are.
You have shown your
true colours and now
I'm wide awake.

You didn't recoil from my touch,
you didn't run from my soul,
you just didn't want me
the way I wanted you.

Sometimes it's okay to disassociate,
to tune out the world and be sad.
Go for a walk, put on some music,
do what you need to do
to ease the pain.
Remember,
there is no rush
for this is what it means
to be human.

All too often,
we lust for the
face of beauty
rather than fall in love
with the soul
of the being.

I jumped into
the sea of your love
even though I couldn’t swim well.
The last thing I remember
was when I sank
tied to your heavy heart.

Some of us
favor our solitude
over the company of others.
We seek out silence like
the moon seeks out the night
because there are days when
our stars burn out and
running from the sun is
the only way to protect
their glorious glow.

The soul does not reside in the chest,
it resides in the brain,
perceiving reality
through the lens
we call our mind.

A new pen,
a new poem
a blank page.
There is something
charming about the emptiness-
a new start if you will.
All I ask is that
you help me
fill it in.