One can build a house,
Or even a thousand more,
But still they're a mouse,
Hide under the kitchen floor,
To see above would drive it mad,
The wonders are divine,
The fear numbs one and they're not sad,
The knowledge makes us blind,

But aspire to be,
Know you're small, but stretch sea to sea,
Claiming land you all can see,
But can you all be?

A question old as time,
strikes the clock and we rewind,
Oh no our fates have fallen,
We were grand, but never mind.

Will you be the leader of the broken?
Of those lost souls with cracked hearts and minds?
Will you see the day the monkeys drop their bananas,
and raise their flags?
I have traveled long and far,
seen merchants sell their false wares to naive children.
Yes I have seen the broken,
rise from their graves of doubt and rebel.
Will you have a good wolf and a bad wolf,
constantly trying to destroy the other?
Which one will you feed?
I will feed the one I know you will see at the end of the road.
When are you going to say,
when you need to bellow from the depths of your liquid soul,
filling the cracks and tears in your glass heart?
Addicted to the tears and tears I must remain.
Stained on my hands the blood must dry,
working towards the goals you will accomplish.
Will you reach the heavens you scribbled about in your notes,
those aimless days in class when the spring called out for adventure?
I have battled dragons and demons on days like those,
swinging my shining sword at the fogs.
Will you tell me more?,
for I need to be like you.
No, not now. I need to conquer the great beyond.

if I had a nickel for your spare thoughts,
you would be a nickel richer.
The thought you think so thoughtfully
folly is your reward.
Reward others,
and they will follow suit.
Suit, the garment you wear
it bessechingly pleads you
to empty your wallet.
Nay, do not pay attention
to the body,
but rather the mind.

we're bombarded by the American Dream
but what we fail to realize
is that to dream, you have to be asleep
but remember, your soul is your own to keep

False consciousness runs rampant through the world
Ninety percent of American media owned by the same
five companies makes TV and the news seem so mundane
but when I think, I realize it's all of us to blame

the only power the system has is what we give
we need to let go of hate, and let live
when in Rome you step outside your comfort zone,
and when you expand your horizons,
the whole world can make you feel alone,

what I've come to realize is there is so much more than this
when we die all of our fear gives way to bliss
and on that spiritual transformation we can let go of what we miss
In each of our crowns lies the infinite
and we know that it doesn't matter, all the petty ****

According to Marx, economy is the root of society
and in capitalism, our thirst for money is ironic and funny
We seek to provide for ourselves and those we love
but when we have to much, the hand doesn't fit the glove

In every cellphone, laptop, and gaming device
lies a mineral mined behind our blind eyes
tantalum is mined in the Congo, and in 2000
people were forced from their poor housing
to mine this mineral so you and I
could get a ps2 from Santa, while they barely got by

I've learned even the poorest here,
Have opportunities barely realized,
We can change the world if we dismantle disguise
There is a balance for everything,

You can't have capitalism without socialism,
our social structure is but a prism

Out by the Strange Creek a little drunk,
I built a tower of stone, an imaginary throne,
I pondered of power and sat on a stump,
The moon hung like an old friend from up above,

There were many around, laughing and happy,
A few on the guitar sounded a little sappy,
Tents dotted the river, and I dipped my tows in the sand,
The stars up above illuminated the camp but not the bands,

Too many drugs made there way around,
back in the woods everyone gathered around a stage,
and jammed the music, they blazed,
for themselves, their future, but mostly the present,
Their bodies swayed, in a daze,

Acid, ****, liquor and E
Oh boy, it was a party,
but the last bit of my sober self,
turned inwards and the whole of me felt,
the seven chakras flowing through me,
connecting me to infinity,

We partied for three days, acid babies littered the place,
We drank for our mistakes, and listened to The Machine,
The wall flowing through me,
We freed our bodies, and our souls to the void,
On the last night we were over joyed,
But now that I'm leaving I feel it slipping away

My crown chakra back into the haze,
My mind's eye back into a cage,
My throat chakra back underneath,
My heart chakra feels only grief,
My solar plexus can't handle a nexus,
My sacral is fine though, trust me,
But my roots,

They don't even trust me

Please I beg you,
to end my life,
Squash me with a shoe,
Grab the hunting knife,

I haven't lived long, I know that now,
But ahead I see, infinite ways for my life to flow,
It's all just a stones throw from my sacred vow,
The world is unbalanced, her sobs and her woes

Guide us all to the future, with the past still fresh
her whispers of sorrow are blocked from all view
If we cannot change she will *******, refresh,
and a new species like Dinos, homos, next in queue

**** sapiens burning the bones,
of dinosaurs, once feared and renowned,
we rely on their power, the system groans,
when it disappears, the masses will groan,

A collective groan upwards of seven billion,
lives in the sand, in the grand scheme so bland,
they moan a tune of immeasurable trillions,
that rest within this vicious land,

And it all flows from positive to negative,
and it all seems so insensitive,
Or perhaps a cowards views are Introspective,
But a retrospective mindset requires sedative,

Collector that is why I have this sickening plea
Think what you wish, I am only me

I stand at the fair
and watch all of the people there
I see a small girl walk by
as she lets go of her balloon
and watches it fly
I walk up to her and ask
"Your balloon, you let it go, why?"
She takes those big blue eyes and looks up at me
she grabs my hand and whispers quietly
in my ear
so no one else can hear
I don't quite understand what she said to me
She just simply stated "To set it free"

Recently, I've come to think I have ADD
Definitely, it's in the open, plain to see
As a child I found life hell,
The gears kept twisting, spouting some scandalous lies
My mind just raced no matter what,
Its true what they say, kids are mean, nasty, and cruel,
If I could go back, I'd say "know your heart is true",

I remember the Moose I saw, up in old Maine,
We were all in a cabin, I loved the soft rain,
Four generations, all as one,
Lived simply together, I remember our song,
We sung once when a fox poked up,
Out of the brush, we hushed and cooed out of sight,
And it stared with green eyes, and in there flared fiery fight,

I can remember the beach my favorite time,
I put my toes in cool sand, a feel that is sublime
The sand was so white,
It was just right for fireworks that starry night,
I can't imagine,
what would be better than warm water, Old Silver
is a beach where I would stay for meditation

Remembering the smell of the gross chemicals,
I sprayed at an abandoned night club, stomach full,
Of ***** I once stole,
from the cupboard where I wasn't supposed to go,
I could feel my soul,
When I climbed onto the roof, I could feel the weight,
When I sat on the edge, in front lay a beautiful city,
'
Recently, I've come to think I have ADD
Definitely, it's in the open, plain to see
And to this day I find life hell,
The gears kept twisting, spouting some scandalous lies
My mind still races no matter what,
Its true what they say, life is mean, nasty, and cruel,
If I could go back, I'd say "know your heart is true",

I hear echos but I can't see,
I reach out and nothing is before me,
Not friend, Nor nary a person
Not a tree, nor wildlife is is here to meet,
No stars, No sky, No hello's and no goodbye's,

Oh dear god I think I can see,
But in a non-existent silence I feel
Nothing is there, the end of the deal,
Nothing is aware, Then nothing can be real,
Nothing makes space and time, reality.

And you and I can question why,
but minds together cannot even weather
The rocks buried in our minds,
It won't align but I can tug on the tether,
Now I only have everything to find.

Achieve.

Progress.

Repeat.

Infinitely, this process must repeat.

You can't forcast your chances for success.

Maybe,

your break will come.

Maybe,

this just isn't for you.

But you can't give up,

you're a star.

Shuffle on, and play your cards well.

You might not get a second good hand.

"Once again I can visit you old friend.
What may I ask today, no more waiting, no delay.
My hands tremble as I hold this book.
Waiting for you, I need to look.
My destiny is a sham in the eye's of reality.
Now talk, before I bring myself to tragedy"

"What is it you need to know?
Time is not on my side, and like winds and birds I'll glide.
Be wary, a question to me is a dangerous game
The things I could say would drive you insane
Be careful, don't break stride, it will break if you tell lies,
And I will be gone, now that's a shanty strategy"

"You have the information I want, we both know
As you've been here before, I'm not daft
Now when I ask I need you to speak nice and slow
For I am young, still novice in craft
There's a billion ways I could ask this sort of thing
All I want to know is what the future will bring."

"There is no way to say this easy to someone as dear as you.
If you cannot change your ways much of your life is through
There are thrills in the years to come, and obstacles you must overcome
New faces to meet and new things that won't be undone
But the one thing you need to understand about life
All your days, from flowers to knife, you must not live in strife"

'That tells me nothing, my woes are stirred
my anger flashing, my memories a blur
I will fight you in years to come
and we will see what can't be undone
Like a bird I will fly far on
and then I'll smile when you're gone"

"Oh child you know nothing of life,
I have seen it all that you may live,
You're a fly, and I take this light,
you bide my time, my journey is long,
Now goodbye, a glimpse of the past,
You've taught me life goes too fast"

I'll keep the lights on in this place,
I'll sit here in the dark forever if its the case,
but I know you'll be back soon,
When I call we both know its a harpoon,

The walls will dry and crack,
this is where you bring me for a panic attack,
I have felt worthless for so long,
I have lost interest in any game or song,

No I think I'll retreat back to that room to be alone,
In there my voice is nothing but calm in its tone,
I know its not the place that I wish to stay,
but time and time again the world is too **** gray,

I watch it all move and twist about,
my insides screaming, my skin crawls and I want to shout,
But the camera's shutter moves to slow,
and the world slows down to a snail's flow,

I never talked about the way I felt
except in that room, where my heart could melt,
and words can flow there like a summer's breeze,
so I regress back to that room with ease,

I'm sorry to make you read anymore,
If the windows crack I need you to shut the door,
I don't bring anyone else here,
I've lived my whole life in fear,

I need to break out and make anew,
before my youth slows to a crawl, and then it's through
If I think anymore, my brain will implode,
like a black hole, it's another episode

Inside I scream, my skin crawls, I want to shout
**Please depression, just let me out

I sit here depressed at 2 AM
and I can't help but wonder where the time went
when did I go wrong and fall lose off track
of my life, it causes fluttering heart attacks
I feel solitary may bring solidarity
I yearn to progress personally to singularity

But I'm stuck in a rut and mud is taking over
The Earth covers me with blankets, pulls me closer,
A warm hug isn't what I want but what I needed
From all these thoughts my brain is too heated
and I'm scared of what's to come
my friends are gone, if I ever had one

I enter and leave this world by myself
my life just one page in the dustiest book on the shelf
It scares me that I won't be remembered
my words service to see my image rendered
in minds and hearts of those I have touched
And with you the touch was too much

I lay my hand upon your heart
and it burned in, I can see the mark
I'm not a bad person, but who am I?
I take my body and throw it up to the sky
A scar is what I left on you
I can't heal it, not even with superglue

but you will live on, and so will I
and the only thing for us to do is try
march your feet in the onward direction
and at the end we meet our reflection

Perhaps this is exactly what I need
Cause for awhile all I have done is bleed

when nothing goes right,
do not ***** your gentle light,
If you look deep inside the flame,
you will know you are not to blame,

people make mistakes, alright?
you have to keep going in your fight,
life is not a soft, promising flight,
it bounces and changes in unexpected ways,

don't fight the flow, everything will be just fine
you will always shine, on all of these days

Every time
I look inward
I only see the little keychain
that dangled off the radiator when
the vacuum was on.

Whenever I
look forward
All I see is a swirling pond
and I don't know which wave
to follow

Every time I look at you
I feel remorse
for the promises I wish I could keep

Ad I feel myself drifting
I feel myself sliding.
Falling.

If what we write are just rambles,
why do these letters mean so much?
The way a child is mesmerized by hanging leaves
reminds me of the simplicity
of putting an arm around each other.

If I worry enough,
will my woes fade into twilight?
glass shatters as the words leave my lips
trembling I lay down one last time
and accept the fate of my actions

If I run fast can I escape
from a past that I wish would kiss my ***?
I'm a different person than that time,
and for each subsequent revelation,
I learn my life is but a line

It's a mess you can't clean
It's behind the cracked mask
the face of a fiend
To clean is your only task
but everything falls apart at the seams

I prayed for rain fall for 100 years and not a drop fell,
Through the kingdom grew our depleted wells,
Of knowledge and virtue, a gift so strong,
And the mystics preach their ageless songs,

We wither, wasting away under the dim lit fog,
They are to us as we to a dog,
The stars are blackened by wrath of gods,
the world is trapped in mother's jaws,

Her nature is that of the beast,
Her carnage crosses due east,
I pray for help on the beach,
Coals of hell will burn their feet,

So help your neighbor for he is you,
And believe in yourself and those around you,
and take care of anyone near the end,
Because sometimes we too are close to the bend,

Amber is the color of your energy,
I know I understand you,
bonded from paternal love, so naturally,
A soft melody, Your reasons, a lot of,
times you learned, fueled by experience,
your guidance for me, it's furious,

You're gone now, with a part of me
We can't find common ground,
we agree to burn it down,
We play it like a game,
Too late, we realize that's lame,

the needing in our compass is trembling,
your words hurt, an eminent sting,
Now I see all the futility,
of resisting all these jaded realities,

Don't burn what can't be rebuilt,
your mind is a million miles away,
your heart in the same place,
fix the day, before you separate,

Now I've hit the ground running,
these lessons I find so cunning,
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin,
The water is getting warm, go ahead, swim,

I miss you dad, and this is how I say
goodbye, I know you cannot stay,
The years start coming, and they don't stop,
Anxiety's the worry on top,
I know I let you down,
but I'm just a slave to the night,

I know I gave you hell through the years,
I know you've shed countless tears,
and I know you have countless tears.

But now there's a single truth.
There's you in everything I do,

She’s as small, yet beautiful

As the budding spring leaves

She’s as radient and strong

As a summer day

She’s as colorful and calm

As the leaves falling off the autumn trees

Her hairs as white, and her mood as soft

As a snowflake falling on the ground

She's Born budding

And She Dies Soft

returned to the same desk,
the same grindstone, the same thoughts,
cyclical patterns of thought and action,
but which comes first?

the will slips, the cracks widen,
and it all floods in, easier to understand,
caught within the same ropes,
you spun from woes of a broken past,

and they were meant to help climb out,
but the grease that bounds the threads,
cannot be grasped by those unresolved,
to the reality they crave most,

What if we could just go?
Jump out, reach forward,  and push on,
What if it isn't so,
Stay back, don't know, be withdrawn,

In a small jar
we count our coins
From Washington to Lincoln
Your habit, over thinkin'

But in the present you are unaware,
The past looks forward with a pitiful stare,
You do not fret, you haven't lost your bet,
Your life is in your care,

You don't wanna look down,
But up is about as appealing,
You're still, a creeping frown,
The silence, so healing

But now you can look forward
and back,
and at once no more of those,
Heart attacks.

Waiting for a phone call I tap my foot to the drum
of one thousand humming birds
Marijuana is needed but I think I have some,
smoke a joint, just feelin' like a ****

I need to run, escape, that's how I will heal,
but I find myself binded in place, stuck,
So I bow and just keep spinnin' the wheel
But one of these days I won't give a ****

I'll pack my bags, spread my wings and fly
I'll work up courage and leave you behind
I know I'm an *******, but I''ll try and leave with a friendly goodbye
If I keep thinking I'm gonna lose my god ****** mind

There's two wolfs that claw at my ventricles, my veins, even testicles
they fight for every part of me, and are made from each other
A pitless void, I just seek fun, adventure and thrills,
Ying and Yang, they're me, but they're both brothers

A man had a gun for a mouth,
and it was hard for him to see the safety,
his tongue only made things go south,
he could not reach,

He didn't have many friends,
those he did wore kevlar,
None would wait, in the end,
and he dug his own grave,

He worked alone for good reason,
his situation made teamwork unbearable,
he hunted when it was in season,
his mouth, the only thing needed,

He could score a date quite well,
women flocked to his sight,
"What a barrel!", his looks could sell,
conversation was never alright,

His wife was a shield, a maiden of honor,
they worked quite well, nail to hammer,
where she was his mouth, he was her bomber,
ready to strike at the first threat,

His child, the only love in his head,
at birth so strong,
his son had arms of lead,

What carries on is molded by the past,
the fruit grows and ripens,
Until it meets it's last
moment here and the gun gets dim,
God is the creator, but death always wins

There's a key
a mystery in the sea
the one place
it's available for me

The waves are shallow
So barren and dead
The weight of it all
compresses my head

I can't see
my eyes turn me to jelly
I can't hear
the silence is strangely calm

the key can help now
and unlock my mind
I can breathe again
the key saves my life

Mind yourself
conceive what to say and do
have manners
Now, the key is inside you

Look inside and see
a complete circus full of mystery
let's examine all the silly ways
to enjoy this quaint, little place

There's a trapeze artist,
leaping for faith
Will he make it,
or fall on his face?

There's the freak show
a group of the obscene
Will they be rejected by us all
or revered, and answer the call?

There's the man shot out of a canonball,
who flies high through the sky
he's got a head start,
but will he too fall and die?

There's the animal tamer,
one of the toughest of all
constantly at war,
will he be the one to score?

And then the Ringmaster,
the man behind the curtain
he has us all fooled,
of that, I am certain

Anyone ever think
About mother Earth and her health?
All the atrocities
Abhorred pollution: neglect

If we're so smart
why is poverty alive?
But us fat americans
can't live without that shopping cart

We belong to Earth
Not the other way around
We better be careful
Cause ego kills

Floating on an endless ocean,
clear skies all around,
east, paradise awaits,
below, endless sin,

The apathetic soul does not fret,
closes it's eyes and awaits fate,
because the future is not set,
and it is never too late,

The apathetic soul knows,
but does not care it,
looks but chooses not to see,
the tentacles creeping from below,
slowly wrapping themselves around
the hands, digging teeth into flesh

Soul can feel a tug, sinking in disregard,
it can hear the echos of the eastern haven,
but the sounds of bubbling water feel warm,
against its eardrums,

when eyes open they realize
mistakes of the past cannot be changed,
when you're at the bottom of the ocean
waiting to breathe

I left the light on
when I first went with you to the store
the aroma of dough and your perfume
was as angelic as when we ate food
while we lounged around on the internet
in your wicked grimy basement.

I chased you around Wilton
and I swear there was nothing wilted in that town
all because of you.
We explored the grass field in front of the school,
and dumpster dived behind

We walked hand in hand
two miles to the waterfall
just to realize that we couldn’t actually swim there

You ate your chicken pressed up against cucumbers
I ate everything with gallons of ketchup
You ate your food chopped into small bites with sandwich meat
and I find that absolutely adorable

The United States
Once, we thought we were so great
But this election....

I haven't written in a while,
it's killing me, let it flow out,
can never let the tar be filling me,
Man, I can't even push out a smile,
not even for a little while,

I wish life was as easy as the movies,
Ace the test, get the job, it got through to me,
Can't let the matrix occupy my brain no more,
It's not paying rent or it duties,

I've got to bite the bullet and keep the finger's a'chuggin
I'm not gonna stop my INFP game, keep them sluggin'
I'm not here to impress a soul, just leave a mark
not many people reach out, the void is stark,

I'm not trying to sound preachy, but I always do
I see the faults within me, I hope you see yours too
I've got to move forward with some things in my way,
**** tomorrow, today is the day,

What's the thing you've been avoiding because familiarity,
breeds within you a false sense of clarity,
don't get caught in the rat trap of your matrix,
Focus, and fix your way out of this.

Write a poem,
A lonely whisper,
It grows louder with each thought
It breathes slow with care,
It lives there.

write a word,
expression of you,
It is yourself, reflection,
just like a candle,
It stands there

Write a rhyme,
beautiful, sublime,
it will reach past your voice,
A monster is born,
A nightmare

You say I can win your heart with poetry?
Oh boy, that’s my only shot.
Let’s hope this **** is
sure to shine this chance

I can remember it all,
like it happened ten minutes ago.

I can see it all,
like a movie in my head.

I can feel that way,
every time I see you.

It’s like my heart flutters when you enter the room.
Like, your presence keeps my heart going in that moment.
Like, when you leave my heart goes with you.

You carry my heart.
That’s fine with me.
I’ve had it for too long.
It’s gotten too damaged and it needed repairs

But the best part is you put the pieces back that were missing,
and through some sort of altering arduous amazing alchemy,
you fused my heart back together.

I was to shy to confess at first,
But I’m pretty sure you were too.
Love is a funny thing,
But we fell face first,
and I’m glad it was with you.

You warm me up everytime my arms are wrapped around you,
The times when I can just hold you tight,
and feel like I never have to let go.
You lift me up like a pep-talk,
and just make everything better.
You, so so much for me that I could never express in any language,
and I want to thank you for that.

I don’t know what I would do without you by my side,
but like some cheesy Jesse Mcartney lyrics,
I don’t want another pretty face,
I don’t want just anyone to hold,
I don’t want my love to go to waste,
I want you and you’re beautiful soul.
Cheesy yes, but isn’t this poem cheesy?
I mean I’m cheesy, right?
My point is I want you and I love you,
and nothing is going to stop that,
My love.

You say you love for me is infinite,
So is mine,
Some infinities are bigger  than other infinities,
So love me infinite,
because Olive you,
I mean, I love you.

If I took a ****
every time it came from your mouth
I'd fill a pool in a day
I'd throw you in with a cinder block
attached to your foot.
Cause every time I speak to you,
I'm drowning in ****.

You've got a real talent
for getting on my nerves.
I can think of six ways
I'd like to deal with you

You're a piece of work,
a true Mona Lisa.
That's if the Mona Lisa were
made of complete
******

The way you make me feel is indescribable.
It's like a
like a
like....
uh

If I were a flower
you would be the lawn mower
If I were the sun,
you would be a storm
If I were an ant
you would be the cruel hand
of a child.

But if you were a drop of rain
I would be the leaf that welcomes you
in the dry summer heat.
If you were lost
I would be the star
who guides you to safety.

The second I look back,
I am filled with this feeling,
That I get every so often,
like when I think of those days,
the days I spent without a worry,
surrounded by my fellow delinquents,
We did not care,
We were there,
And we weren't going anywhere

But that was so long ago,
Today that is not so,
I have learned each goes their own way
Like a wave, we part ways
The fracture I feel won't escape
From the bricks that hold it in place

Teen spirit is underrated by all,
You and I, You'r dad and uncle Paul,
We all remember what it was like,
youth is valued for this exact reason
We all worship this way despite
one day, we return to dust
Maybe then, I'll feel this way too.

The first time it happened,
I was young and free,
And then all at once I
could see the universe before me

The second time was not clear,
and there was a foul mist,
A smell and look drenched in fear
And still, it cannot compare to the third

She flew away on that cumbersome day
the wind carried her like an angel
she looked back, but her smile was tucked
under the curtains of pale moonlight

And in the sunset I saw the truth
It all depends on you
We're all floating through space
beings created on an organic shuttle
With only faith leading the way

I'm going up the hill again,
The top is my destination,
Confronted with fleeting dreams of mesmerization,
The sky is clear but it feels like rain, soil gone too,
down the drain,

I've been here before, I can feel it,
Imprints of my feet, the ground steals it,
The sky is a blue hue I do not recognize
The stars look more like flies

I approach the top and something feels off,
Stress, anxiety, and vertigo on top,
I inhale but no relief comes,
Gravity is not for friends or fun,

I get the top and I can see the sky,
For a moment I feel like I can fly,
But I realize my deja vu the lack of serenity,
I'm at the bottom in an endless journey,

It's called common sense
You're supposed to know,
and not be on the fence,
when the wind blows...

... you're gonna be whisked away
you should wear a weighted vest
You're disappearing, will be gone by may
If the gun shoots, do your best

Your senses fade to black
Sight, touch, only within an earshot
Your poker face has a crack
keep your mind taught.

There's a million ways this could go
but with your common sense you're supposed to know
When you try to speak not even a squeak escapes your lips
your life is one among many small blips.

Being drunk only helps
To relate to the feelings within
Self loathing is wrapped around me
Like the blanket of a believer

There's only one thing to say
When my heart yearns like today
Believing doesn't help the healing
Everything finds its meaning

The act of desecration is liberating
But self hate is devistating
I can't feel my heart
I hope it hasn't fallen apart

To know us to let go of all
With my drugs I hope to have a ball
But time passes so slow
It all disintegrates with a revolutionary flow

You're like a rusted crown,
Like a unicorn on an island,
A mermaid on dry land,
and the golden apple of my life,
A creak in the floor,
and the name of the wind.

We're two feet apart,
So much sun intensely,
Need you in my arms.

My eyes Crack like dried paper,
onto the desk at 4 am,
I'm not sure if my maker,
is a lion or a lamb,

Stuck between the present,
and the task at hand,
life is rarely pleasant,
when you can see through the sham,

I open the window, ash seeps in,
I can never duck get win,
Friends, my patience is wearing thin,
I know there's places I've been,

Not in the linear fashion of thought,
but inside the sky of my minds eye,

past, present future,
everything that can't be bought

You're sitting across the table,
Even if I wanted to look away, I'm unable,
The thought of meeting you again fills me with joy,
My body is play dough, and my mind insanely coy,

I've searched for a long time for you,
On winter nights alone, with ice in my shoe
On spring days with friends, never wanting it to end,
I could search forever, my time well spent

For you're the only thing to make me happy,
You're familiar, nothing is off or ******,
You look less foreign than I originally conceived,
I thank the heavens I no longer need my grief,

Like I said you're right in front of my figure,
but when I reach out, you're 1000 times bigger,
There is no way we fit together,
but when you hold me your love is so tender,

You must be a mirage, oh Narcissus
You must be imagined, a sorceress,
There's an end to this game you play, oh give me a taste
It's staring me right in the face

If I'm a failure
When does success supersede?
My heart is broken