Oh! The wicked webs we weave
When dire days demand dire deeds
As thicket thorned, and thoughtless thieves
When fire flairs and frost shall freeze

But stand ye strong, as solid stone
Thy noble name shall ever be known
Unbreakable bastion, ye bulwark broad
A formidable fortress needs not a facade

Woke up this mornin'
With a case of the chills
Mama was snorin'
Daddy was takin' his pills

I called the old man in
Said I ain't feeling too well
He said just try stan'in
And down to the floor I fell

I got those
I got those Stayathome Blues

Confined to my bed
But that's ok
I don't really wanna get up
And move anyway

So I lay here in my blankets
A cold pack on my head
With a big ol' box o' Kleenex
Sittin' empty by my bed

I got those
I got those achy breaky ickly sickly Stayathome Blues

Maybe I'm just looking in the wrong places
Maybe I'm looking for movement in stasis
Maybe I'm looking for life in ******
Maybe I'm looking for purity in the perverter
Maybe I'm looking for dust in the ashes
Maybe I'm looking for ice among matches
Maybe I'm looking for the truth in lies
Maybe I'm looking for hello among goodbyes
Maybe I just need to change my perspective
Maybe I just need to find a new prime directive
Maybe I just need to learn what it is to love
Maybe I just need to stare into the stars above
Maybe you are my release
Maybe you're my anchor
Maybe you'll help me find peace
Or help me find the maker

The Ultimate Weapon, A Star of Death
The Only Weakness, A Trench At It's Breadth
Thirty Rebel Ships, To Fast For Their Guns
Boldly Go Forth, To Make Their Trench Runs

He stands as a pillar of stone
A guard
At the door
To the passage
To his heart

He made his mistakes
Once
He won't again
No
Never again

Love cost him dearly
Now anger
Costs him
Love

She sits on her bed
And cries
All alone
Because the man
That she loved
Threw her away

Treated her like trash
For a woman who is

Love cost her dearly
Now hate
Cost her
Love

They sit
On opposite
Sides of the room
They don't talk
If they did
They would just
Fight
Again

Both sure that they're right
They won't compromise
So stuck in their ways
They just
Won't
Budge

Love cost them dearly
Now apathy
Cost them
Love

Love is not the
Warm fuzzies
When you're with them
It's commitment
It's compassion
It's forgiveness
It's pushing through to the end
True love starts
When the warm fuzzies are gone
What's left
Is
Love

I am at your service
Your wish is my command
But you say you want me to be strong
So I'll fake it till I am
I think I could fight an army for you
If I could muster up my own
I won't pretend I'm superman
But I'll make your house a home

Not looking for a conquest
I don't need to get my rocks off
I just want to see the world
And you're coming with.

Led to believe
These things that could never be
These steps not taken
Chip and tug and pull at me
These words unspoken
These promises broken
Was love just a token?
Like a puppet
Pulled at by strings
In the hands of a master
I don't control the way I feel, think, believe!
I'm not my own master
I'm not my own man
I'm not my own
These things I feel
My chest full of
Longing
Such longing
And pain
And fear
And from these
The stress.
The stress.
The stress.
It weighs me down.
Shuts
Me
Down
I can't function with all of this anxiety
There's just too much
Too much happening
I can't handle it.
The pressure is building
I have no release
I have no release
I have no release
I have no peace
I have no peace
I have no peace
My life seems like a trap
Iron jaws close around me
I'm
      Just
             So
                  Empty
The things that brought me joy
The things that filled me up
The things that I loved
                                             Do nothing for me now
The connection I have felt with life
I feel no longer
I'm
       Just
               So
                    Empty.

Steel hull diving deep like a submarine
Run swift and silent through the ruby sea
A steady handed skipper
Holds tight to the helm
The keel runs true
And cuts the sea in two

So **** the torpedoes
And full speed ahead
This hull clad in iron
Watch the red wake spread

Blatant self destruction
That you can't seem to see
You won't find your answers
At the bottom of the whisky sea

No solemn faith at the bottom
At the bottom of your bowl
Who the Hell are you?
You're not the girl I know.

Yet,
Alive.
And Yet,
A lie.

So turn away the ones who care
And face your fight alone
But when Rock Bottom finds you
You can always return home.

And I will be here.
I will wait
For you to come alive.

I do what it takes to survive
The noblest struggle of all
And nothing brings me alive
Like the laughter I hear in your call

As I lay here on my bed
My soul is falling
Down
Into a deep deep pit

No

Not falling
My soul IS the pit
And I fall into it
I am not drowning in my fear
Rather I see it as a marinade
Of gasoline and gunpowder
I dwell in it, soak it into my skin
And wait for the match to light

As I sit here
My arms and head are heavy
Though my eyes leave the ground
They always return swiftly
I no longer can look into your eyes
With confidence
I feel I have failed you
More than the rest
More than myself

I see you
And my whole being shakes with envy
My stomach is twisted with jealousy
All that I desire in life
You have
I find no solace in slumber
No respite in my dreams
Night after night
Week after week
I dream of my failures
I'm haunted by the ghosts of my shortcomings
And wounded by your spectre of success.

I ask you,
Please tell me,
If you know,
I have a question,

But the answer eludes me.

So you wonderful people of the internet,
(Oops, there goes the fourth wall...)
This question may not even have an answer.
Wouldn't that ****?

Ok, so the question.
To ponder of yourself.
Also, the only really poetic part of this work...
(Is critiquing your work in that work pretentious? I don't know. Anyway, back to the poetic crap. )

What world will will you find,
When you leave this world behind?
And what world will you leave behind,
When you run out of time?
What will children say of you?
What will your legacy be?
Did you use each day by day to do
Something worth memory?

This mortal vein
These mortal eyes
This mortal skin
These all will die
This fading light
These fading dreams
This fading hope
These hearts that scream
This burning lie
These burning fears
This burning soul

I shed no tears

My heart breaks as my Venus pulls away
Was the love you professed to me a lie?
Did it hold any meaning?
I feel abandoned
Betrayed and deceived
My heart still beats your name

And soon you will leave
A season separated
How am I to prove to you my love
When I cannot reach you?

I beg you
Think quickly
Know that I suffer in your absence
I pray with my hands to the Lord
That you remember our love
That the fire be rekindled

You are my love.
My single desire.
I cannot live without you.
I dare not even try.

Spires of ice rise from the emerald sea
Pillars of stone reach out and scratch the slate sky
Black veins move life within her
Her black roots spread outwards
As tenticals in search of food

And within her
Life

A hundred thousand stories
Each one unique
Each one of the utmost importance
A hundred thousand people
With only one thing in common

They live to stay alive

They make art
They invent
They live
They die
They make a home in her

Set me loose like the dogs of war
Unleash the beast I can't control anymore
I've fought my demons but my strength begins to fail
I can feel the cracks forming in the boat that I sail

There are creatures at the gate
I fight alone night and day
There are creatures at the gate
Will they ever go away?
There are claws at the window
There are teeth at the door
There's a shriek from the basement
I can't fight them anymore

But still you're none the wiser
To the monster in the man
So feed me your tranquilizer
And catch me if you can

Not a humble beast
No my name is pride
I'm hungry for a feast
And I've got you in my sights

I haven't been full
Since I don't know when
Or set foot in a mall
Since like two thousand ten
As for Christmas let's say
It's a good thing that it's the thought that counts

I don't have enough gas
To visit my girlfriend
I don't have enough cash
(I probably won't til the worlds end)
I can barely afford to get lunch at school!
So thanks Mrs. Obama for ruining that too!

I'm just so freaking sick of being poor.
I just want food in the fridge. Nothing more.

My mind is flooded with questions
Whose answers are beyond me
Like what will I face
When finite breaks to infinity
Or
When my life crumbles
Can I count on you
To stick with me
And
I know I went too far
But can someone still love me
As I search the rubble
For my new identity


Never before has the end of a chapter
Been so tangible
And I'm still turning the page
No fourth wall to break
And if the world is a stage
My life is a terrible play

Not everyone's a critic
But they all give a review

When two worlds collide
They both get torn apart
I don't know who to follow
I don't know where to start

My hands up in the air
My knees fall to the earth
I scream into the night
Until my voice won't work

Do you hear me?
Tell me do you hear me now?
Are you listening?
Do you care if I break down?
Is anybody out there?
Is anybody here?
Can anybody see me?
Or my reflection in the mirror?

Still on my knees in the darkness
My voice echoes in the valley still
I wait
Prostrate for an answer
I wait

I am dangerous
An enemy of the state
No simple life
Is in the cards for me
I am cursed
To watch as those around me
Drop like flies
Before the hands of my enemy
Because he knows
That is where I am weak
He is aware
That is where I am vulnerable
So he strikes
He has caught so many unaware
Not this time
This time I will stand guard over them
I will watch
For shifting shadows in the night
I will not
Let him take them from me this time
Not this time
Not ever again.

I know what you're feeling
I've been there myself
I know what you're doing
But please don't shut me out
You say that you're done
You say you don't care
You're sick of everyone
And you feel so
Empty
Let me fill you
Let me be the one who pours
And though I'm confused
By why your anger came at me
I'm not about to leave you
So you're just stuck with me
I'm actually a little hurt
But I won't say that aloud
What happened to best friends?

I guess what I'm saying
Is that you can't face this alone
No.
You need support
You have friends
Let them
No.
Let US
Be therefor you

In the midst of heartbreak
I find no tragedy
I look to the future
And though I feel sympathy
In truth I am eager
For the beauty awaiting me

Life has hit me
Hard
It hits
Fast
It hits
Quietly

And you can't hit back
You can't trade blows
It's like a brawl with a phantom
A duel with a ghost

So you just take the punches
And learn how to roll with them
That's just how it goes
When you're punching at smoke

Myriad of distasteful smells
Grease and mold and rot
I hold my breath and walk
Along the lonely hot blacktop
I can't stop, I can't stop
I'm already running late

Past the towering gate of cedar
Into a human sea
Weaving through groups
Of preteen girls
Dressed like they're twenty three
Under the twisting orange rails
And past the elder train
I can't talk, I can't talk
I'm already running late

Through the courtyard of the wolf
Beyond the bubbling fount
Near the infinite tidal wave
Pass between the pillars
And now I'm at the gate
Step inside the hovel
This is where my work begins
I can't walk, I can't walk
My legs are spent for a bit

Then I man my battle station
I'm ready for the rush
Six hours later still on my feet
They start to feel like mush
My arms are heavy my eyelids sag
And my back begins to ache
My voice is sore my mind is numb
But I don't get a break
I can't stop, I can't stop
I'm working for my pay

Another dollar, another day
You know I'm working for my pay

Tick
Her eyes flash in my mind
Tock
Long hair flows in my memory
Tick
the laughter that lights up the sky echoes
Tock
My heart beats faster
Tick
Will I ever be able to love her?
Tock
Or am I just chasing mist?
Tick
She sings, and I melt
Tock
She speaks and I am weakened
Tick
Perfect lips curled into a playful grin
Tock
Emotion erupts from my soul
Tick
If only I had been faster
Tock
If only I had listened
Tick
If only I had been more decisive
Tock
Now I fear I've lost her

I remember days
When I was inspired
By the beauty of a rose
Or the agony of heartache
But now my muse is stagnant
I hear no sweet sweet songs
I hear no soul rending cry

No breeze caresses my face here
No harsh wind blows against me
The air moves as a man in a cell
A slow, putrid circle of apathy

No great loneliness afflicts me
No great host accompanies me
Yet no sense of community is upon me
I have no connection between souls
Yet here I am
Yet I am here

My mind and heart
Locked in violent war
My heart beats of rebellion,
Of liberation
My mind holding to its corruption

Year after year the war has raged
My heart backed by the Devine
My mind a tyrant
Backed by a traitor
A master of lies

And I know
That when the endgame comes
My heart shall take the day
But as of now
Its trenches are deep

To war

He is powerless
A mere pawn in a greater plan
His struggle is
The path he has chosen to follow but
He is blessed
For out of utter destruction
They will rise
At my command like a Phoenix from the dust
Because I know
That is what makes him weak
So I strike
He has left his guard down too often
But this time
He is prepared to do battle
He has learned
To watch for phantoms in the night
He will not
Let the ones he cares for fall
Not this time
Not ever again

I looked once upon
A house made of fire
It blazed
An unquenchable
Inferno

And in it lives a man
With writing on his arms
The meaning
Incomprehensible
To all
But he

He sits on the floor
And he writes and writes
And waits
For the day
His message is heard

Yes I looked once upon
A house made of fire
And I looked once upon
The man
And he smiled at me
And he
Motioned
To the words scrawled
Upon his arms

But I
Like the rest
Could not comprehend
The meaning
To the message before my eyes

I need something
But not from a bottle or a bowl
I need something
But not drugs
To make me whole

I need a light
I need a magic wand
I need to hold someone tight
I need a deeper bond
I need a little more respect
I need my voice to be heard
I need someone who understands
And takes me at my word

I need a break from all the pain
And I need time to heal
I need someone who knows my dreams
And wants them to be real

You've done your best to help me
My thanks to you is great
But really what I need is you
So I guess I'll just have to wait

Without you time moves slowly
I stand as it passes me by
But tonight I am so lonely
I need the love in your eyes

I lie here awake
That's good. It's morning.
But my eyes still burn for sleep
Too bad. Get up.
My thoughts don't flash in the usual way, but ooze: Jello down a slight decline
Don't care. Get up.
My arms are weighed down by exhaustion
There's work. Get up.
But...
Get.
Up.




Fine.

I was not prepared for this
My position so flawed
Fatally overlooked
I was not prepared for this

My broad bravado
Now enfeebled
By harsh realization

My situation is untenable
The force against me
Is greater than  anticipated

I am called Tiberius
I have sold my foe short
I have little doubt
Of that which brings me down

I came here sure of success
I came to make war
To conquer all that is against me

Yet

My head hangs low with defeat
My spirit is weak
My morale in shambles
I am broken

My arms
Once readied for battle
Hang limp at my sides
My hands
Once armed for war
Now empty and weak
I am broken

My eyes
Once alive with passion
No longer leave the ground

The battle is lost on all fronts
I am surrounded by defeat
I watch as the line crumbles
No match
For the force brought against it
I am broken

I watch through windows of stained glass
As Venus dances
In awe at the beauty just beyond the pane
How long will I be able to live behind the pain?
For Venus?
Forever.

I am weary
From early morning
And night so long
I am weary

I am weary
In
Body
And
Mind
And
Soul

Won't you give me strength?

A big cardboard box
For a refrigerator
Imagination

Green elms in the woods
Give breath to mother earth
Standing tall and proud

We cannot feel,
The heart grow old,
In the summer sun,
Or the winter cold,
We cannot hear,
The blowing wind,
When the devil calls,
From his cage within,

But you wear your scarlet letter,
On your sleeve like a badge of honor,
Tell your friends you're feeling better,
But your lies don't hold any water

I know what keeps me here
I know how to play the game
I know what rules to break
I know what keeps us sane

But here we go again
Sewing evil seeds
Till the fields of sorrow
With all our ***** deeds

I know what I want from you
I know how to live
I know when I should turn and run
I know what I can't give

I know you.

Here's my best desperate attempt
To capture in empty black letters
The fullness of love you're content to pour out on me

You are my blessing in the flesh
A catalyst of carnal desire at the simplest form
Yes it's true that my first thought was of your physical perfection
Your corporeal aesthetic
A flawless performance of flesh

And I desired you
Craved you like a man depraved
But that was just the start

The moment you opened your mouth
And spilled onto my ears the golden splendor
The voice fit for the chambers of kings
And I to be Solomon
Or David or Caesar or Arthur
That such beauty should not be wasted on me
A common man

And I desired you
Called to the Creator and pleaded for you
And you came to me

Now I see that you
My perfect foil
Are my completion in this world
In my Crucible life you are my peace

In your presence I have heard distant wedding bells
Drawn now close
So very close
You occupy my every thought
Every labor a step towards my life with you

I am truly blessed beyond my fellow man
Beyond regent and ruler
Kingdoms and coffers are empty in the presence of a woman so wonderful

Sweet Venus, soon my bride

It's one o'clock.
Yes, one.
And you know what?
I'm done.

With hurt, and heart breaks,
With dirt, and headaches.

It's one o'clock.
Yes, one.
And you know what I've come to realize?
It's only just begun.

Only the dead have seen the end of war
Those that cross over to heavens eternal shore
Only the dead have seen the end of strife
And those that live on, live balanced on the knife

Only the dead can truly be at peace
In this world where the death will never cease
Only the dead can claim true victory
As death has brought an end to their story

Are not we all soldiers
In this war we wage with time?
Around us the whole Earth smolders
Yet we ever hold the line.

When all falls into shadow
And fire burns the sky
When smoke and blood
Stain sky and stream
Still I will be at your side

When war comes crashing on the door
And battle scars the land
When fear and death march from their gate
They will march upon us
Hand in hand

When monsters bellow from the depths
When all seems lost to fear
Should armies surround and besiege
When the sun goes black with arrows
I will hold you ever near

I'm not in control
This is no longer my story
May my hands do no work
Unless it brings You glory

I've turned over the reins
I let Jesus take the wheel
As the storm it swirls around me
I take my hands from the helm

This is my surrender Lord
Capitulation
Unconditional
Inexplicable

                          Real

All that is good
Is not always beautiful

All that is beautiful
Is not always happy

All that is happy
Is not always good

I hate mornings
Said the boy to himself
And then he rolled over
And fell from his shelf

What's a man to do?
When he takes no pride in the work of his hands.
When the things he creates are a pungent, noxious fume.
What's a man to do?

This is my crying out.
This is my final call.
This is my desperate shout.
Before I take the fall

This is my last hurrah.
This is my do-or-die.
This is the final straw.
This is our last good-bye.

Love is an elusive beast
That can't be caught and caged
It makes its nest not in the tree
Nor in thicket, nor in cave

It makes its home in the heart
And dwells in it's lovely ways

But how can i find it?
Tell me where it hides
I seek this tender beast called love
That I may learn it's ways

I know that I had glimpsed it once
For a moment, nothing more
But now I must find this lovely creature
And live with it until I die

I will watch until the candles fade
As you stand and stare into the skies of gray
And I will dance until the lights come down
Until the kingdoms fall like water on the ground

I will watch forever pass away
Pass away
I will stand and watch them until they fade
Until they fade