These destructive thoughts are a calamity
Driving my mind to the brink of insanity
**** this
Oops, excuse the profanity

But this is the last of this thing called sanity
I can no longer be part of humanity
I am now so far from sane
My thoughts are simply not humane

Not quite sure what made things this way
Maybe the RedBull made my brain grow wings and it flew away
I don't really have much to say
This poem really has no point anyway

Maybe it's to clear my mind out
.
.
.
I am the most sane inhumane insane humane person, no doubt.

For Her my heart feels
With Her my heart heals
The pains washed away
Leaving my horrid past to decay

With Her I feel alive
For Her I will strive
But I am still

Waiting

For Her to arrive

I have run out of thread to stitch my wounds.

My anger is my nuclear fallout
It's what is killing me and choking me out
It's not only sabotaging who I am
But all those around me have faced the slam

The concussion blast of this vicious mood
Unable to control myself, only to know I'm *******
I can only sit and watch like a movie on display
What actions I take and the horrific things I say

These words reach out to those I have wronged
To those situations I only prolonged
These words are not a justification
These words are for you to have relation

This is my apology for what I could not control
I have gotten better and will never let this take me whole.

I'm a slave to my heart
I'm a prisoner to my mind ripped apart
Slaved to feelings that should have long passed
Forever shackled in my thoughts, I'm just in last
Someday I hope my heart to hear my cries
Someday I hope my mind, to understand I'm out of tries

In the absence of hope, despair is the true King.

I'll lie down for hours in my bed
You think I'm asleep but I caged in my head
I'm getting tortured from the inside out
I'm getting thrown and tossed about

I'm a prisoner to my own thought
I am forced to remember ever ounce of pain I fought
It is a never ending reel of self-inflicted pain
I have no scars to show or retain

It's screaming and blood lust in my mind
On the outside quiet and peace, is what you find
I'm getting weak with every passing night
I'm slipping away losing might

I'm still a prisoner to my ******* brain
I think It's time, I step out of that lane

Awake in nothing
Hands shaking
Eyes darting
Heavy breathing
Not your own
Blind darkness
The ringing
In your ears
The scratching
The knocks
The voices
Driving you
To insanity
You run
They laugh

What to do?

*You awake
In your room
To look over
To see that they caught you.

My defeat will be the lies I fail to deceit.

I’m alone
In a cold dark room sitting by a unplugged phone
Waiting for your voice to bring me to you
So that you can hold me like you used too
So that I can feel the calm
And your hand in my palm
I’m alone
In a cold dark room wanting to hear your loving tone
Lay down with you and hear your heartbeat
Like a melody, the sounds so neat
I do really need this
It’s you I want to be with
I’m alone
In a cold dark room listening to the moan
Of the person I used to be withering away
Thinking of you every passing day
I need you by my side
I hope we haven’t died
I’m alone
In a cold dark room where I roam
Waiting for you to come back
And fill my heart with what it may lack
I miss your every touch
So, so very much
I’m alone
In a cold dark room which is my only home
I need you to come back and save me
I’m falling to oblivion, can’t you see
These trials I know we can beat
For you are my light and heat,
I’m alone…

How do I escape my own hell
there is no way out that I can tell
I'm lost in the torment of fear
The roars of my demons is all I hear

I don't know how to get out
All I do is get lost about
Til I crumple to the ground
Giving up because there is no hope to be found

This hell of mine is claiming me whole
I will eventually take the toll
They will soon catch up to me
My demons face to face with me

I am close to caving in to their demands
Lost is this land
Of my own personal hell
Though reality and this have no difference as far as I can tell

Let's go with nothing planned
Just me and you hand in hand
Let's enjoy the little things now
Just us being the way we know how

Let's go on an adventure
Get lost then, for sure
Let's take over the world one city at a time
Get cheap things for a penny and a dime

Let's not let a moment slip past
No moment can be the last
Let's do what others are scared too
Conquer it all just us two

Let's be that team no one can beat
Because you know, we are pretty neat.

Accept Love, don't fight it. Fighting it would be as if trying to **** Cerberus with an old wooden sword.

Those dreams that leave you terrified even in the light

Life's grip on the spine,
don't lie, with I'm fine.

May the pain we feel, be the growth we reveal.

It's the darkest of words we are most related to.

My legacy will be the blotched ink on these papers.

There is a war in my heart
When did this start?
I feel like I'm caving in
to myself from within

Such a heavy weight on my chest
Can someone take a little and leave me the rest?
But there is no one in sight
Just me outside and alone on this starry night.

This pain is getting the best of me
fading away of what I used to be
I can feel the raging war
My heart grows fierce even more

I fall to my knees gripping my heart
It throbs about to burst apart
I sqeeze my eyes shut to the pain
Feel the water run down my face from the rain

Then I hear someone close by
I look up and begin to cry
For who I see in front of me
Is the couple we were meant to be

I wander to where I was last
I sit
I read
Your name, the dates on the stone in different contrast

There is a War in my heart
I pray it will be the last

I'm lost within the dangers of my mind
I'm unable to escape, scared as to what I will find
Stuck in an oblivion of hatred and fear
How did I end up here

Why is it I feel this way
Why can't I seem to make it go away
I am now unable to move stuck in place
It's then I realize me and my demon are face to face

Wretched and horrid the face of my fear
It stares at me hungry, knowing I don't belong here
but before this demon could take me away
I heard your voice so soft and loving say

*"I love you darling, you are going the wrong way"

Freedom is not having to wear clothes around the house.

I figured out why it hurt
Why it lacerated me so deeply
Why my world couldn't convert
From the view of me.
You knew what your world had,
Friends, family a home.
While my world was oh quite sad,
Filled with anguish and more of a dome.
A shell that only surrounded me
Leaving me to my world to see

The reason it hurt so bad,
Because in your world,
I was just another cast in your shadows.
In mine, was you, for in which I would go to the gallows.

That unexplainable feeling you get when you say, "I'm okay"

and they respond, *"No you're not."

It's scary how words can make your heart feel everything.

There is a flower
blooming in my heart
waiting for the one
to pick it so gently
for now they hold
who I am now
their love is it's life.
but mine is still here
withering
shivering
cold and alone
It waits for your warm hands to hold

This happiness is a drop in my ocean of contempt.

How many times must I give you breath
Giving you my life to avoid death.
In your heart and mind
You're choking out, with darkness you find.
You suffocate on your pasts toxin
Heart heavy, head down, you're boxed in.
I'm always here to help you in need
Why can't you hear my own plead?
I'm a mess from head to toe
I've told you, how do you not know?
That I'm broken not knowing what to do
Because it was my pieces that I used to help you.

The Darkness follows my every step
Making me remember each tear I wept
I can't seem to let it go
It's the only thing I seem to know
It consumes me every passing day
With my life I'll pay
I need you to grasp my palm
Pull me to your calm
Don't let me slip away
In your arms I wish to stay
Whisper to me things will be alright
and maybe this Darkness I can fight
But you are too far to see
I just needed you to save me
The Darkness so black and cold
The only thing my hand can hold
I stay alive with the fire in my heart
That your love got to start
I await your warm touch
Which I long for so much
May you forgive me for what I've done
But I believe the Darkness has won

Some of the most scarred hearts create the deepest poems

Stars show their absolute beauty, in the aftermath of destruction.

I've been chewed up and spit out
Dropped like a bad habit and slapped with doubt
I went inside myself to rid me of shame
Yet I'm looked at and easily blamed

My past forever left a burn
Melted and scared away, with no more places to turn
So I dove inside myself and threw out the key
Hoping that no one will ever hurt me

In that time all I needed was someone to try
To gather my shattered remains and rid the tears I cry
I longed for someone who could bring me to my feet
and bring back my dying heartbeat

I don't want to stay here anymore
Please find that key and open the door
Tell me that I'm truly needed with no doubt
and teach me what life is really about

When a heart shatters to pieces
It takes someone of a similar break
That can simply pick up all the shards
and put all them back together.
Whether the pieces are right or wrong
Both have a fixed heart that will beat
and forever be intertwined.

I'm used to the dark, because she was my light.