I love your amazing eyes
They look otherworldly
Like there's a galaxy within
Spiraling with your gaze

If infinity paid me infinite money
It would be far too cheap a price
To trade for a little, tiny, weency
"I love you" from you

There is no continent on this earth
That will prevent me from running
Through the deepest ocean's deep
To your arms that my heart keep

If I were all alone forever more
I'd go to an insane asylum
Just to remember you
Because you are my heart.

P.S. I like your ****.

I see all these blank pages of my future and I tear them to shreds//
I only want to live in the pages of my past//
I only wanted it to last//
For her to last//
I don't wish it was different just that I had done things differently//
Maybe it'd end the same, but not knowing hurts//
Not trying hurts//
Somewhere I stopped trying to grow and only tried to control//
I was just a boy in a man's frame//
Yet I knew how to love her//
I still love her//
But she's gone like the ashes of a wildfire//
Alone I still sing of her//
Empty, echoing, loneliness//
It is my new peace//

I rage against the waves of anger,
Slashing away at the waterline,
With a sword of cork and wood.

Relentless is my fury against,
This opposition vast and immortal.


I spend every millisecond of my frail life,
Swinging and swiping, fighting imaginary ghosts.
My haggard arms wash away in the receding tides,
And my starved body collapses and goes underneath.
My gaunt figure goes lifeless, filling with the departing waters.

I died thinking I had won.

Rain drizzle drazzle,
Down from a hollow sky,
Droplets merge to a puddle,
Puddle forms a new lake,
Children swim and jump in,
Fish fornicate in what you drink,
Lake returns to the sky,
To be rain drizzle drazzle.

Scars trail into the abyss
as the world becomes undone//

Wanton slaughter and rampant
rage echo through the halls//

I am sorry for all I have done//

And all I have failed to do...

a year
in its entirety
since my heart
turned to glass
burned
like a silver comet
plummeting
to drown in the sea
sunk to the depths
lost
as if it were a message
placed in a bottle
it's gone
just a shadow of what was
a single vein
a string
nothing more
just numbered days
that i should have let go of
a long time ago...

There was never a Valentine's Day
I have hated more than this one.
Because I think of you, my friend
You're not here to share with me.

I had dreams of us riding into the sunset,
Until you disappeared, went dark on me...

I now understand the sadness in me
is caused not by loneliness, but aloneness.
Because I am not alone, except in my bed
and I am never lonely when I am alone.

It is something deeper and
more meaningful than that.
It's the lack of you in my heart,
or rather the lack of me in your heart.

Seems it's just not felt by you,
or maybe it's just ignored;
It isn't ignored by me, though,
because I can't ignore my soul.

This soul that is cleaved in two,
As long as I am without you.
To be happy is what I wish,
But this soul is amputated.

Sadly, there is no prosthetic
for an amputated soul...

Why is it I see nothing but my death in front of me?
I promise you it's not dying that scares me so much.
What scares me is that I could die completely alone.

*That really ******* scares me...

Flabbergasted and betwixt,
At the fairy's cascading figure,
Fixed between the man's fingers,
Like a burning cigar,
In western sunshine,
Falling like toppled coloration,
Of lumberjack flapjack,
Hit the road Jack,
And Jill,
To copper,
Whatever they want,
Without a fuss.

flickering, a spark, and smoke in my nose
lighter on and off, thoughts oppose
leaning
then flailing
then realizing
ive been standing
maybe not strongly
but still standing
and the steps keep growing
lighter on
lighter off
and my face still glows

Every single tear of blood
        Cupped in Your scarred hands

With such a finite amount of time to live
It would be foolish and worthless
To waste words on hate, anger, banter, lies, and flattery.
Be honest, kind, loving, speak your heart, and use wisdom.
It's real people that get hurt.

Oh Lord, I am a broken man

I've got a thousand things to tell you
& a thousand reasons not to say them

They shall stay locked within my heart
& never see the light of the day, my dear

Oh Lord, I am a broken man

A Christian should not struggle with suicide
& wake up wondering if today's the day I die

But these demons claw at my head
& they are relentless in their attack

Oh Lord, I am a broken man

The sins of the flesh and of the eyes
& sins of the life I've locked inside

Yeah I have a thousand things to tell you
& I have a thousand reasons not to say them

Oh Lord, I am a broken man

I hold the last picture of you in my hand,
gently caressing my thumb across your face as if the glossy texture would give some extra warmth on this freezing night.

Your beauty is tantalizingly flawless; not just of your physical exterior, but also of your warming character that beholds exquisite charm.

I fell for you that one day at the fairgrounds where I failed to claim that fuzzy pink penguin for you. Somewhere between the cotton candy stand and the mirror house I got lost in the tranquility in your eyes
&
In a moment time itself stopped to witness the miracle of two racing hearts standing like statues for an eternity before I moved my lips to yours and we finally, for the first time, kissed.

The world began to move again, not that we cared or noticed, simply grinning as we held each others faces, locked in embrace...

That was the only time we had ever kissed and I know why.
But the arching of this dream across the years hasn't spent me yet; your reflection is etched into my heart deeper than any scar could ever hope to reach.

I thought tonight would be the night, the night I've been waiting for. Tonight I would have told you- nay- confessed to you the genuine, heartfelt love I have for you.*

Tonight nothing happened, again. I saw your face, the same face that quivers my insides and makes my heart beat in slow motion, and I knew I could tell you absolutely nothing about my fiery desires for you.

So you still know nothing and suspect everything.
I still mumble the same mantra to myself about how I'm doing the right thing, waiting for the right time. But it's flat out b u l l s h i t and I know it. I'm scared to love, scared to lose, scared to ***** it up.

They say time heals all wounds but the wounds that love inflicts has no healing. Time can merely stitch up your cuts and tell you not to stress them, lest they burst apart and leave you bleeding out again.
Only love can heal love, and you and I are *TOO SCARED TO JUMP!

I write of broken
     t e e t h &
deep wounds
nobody can see
d a r k n e s s
     shadows
agony & pain
     it is my
m u s e
that I feast
     on
but I haven't
picked up the
             p e n
in a week
  because the
m u s e
is gone right now
   I feel
strangely
    *h a p p y

An arrow points to the
hole in my chest
where my heart
once lived.

Happiness?
Where have I gone?
Cold and darkness
embraces my mind.

The mirror
shows me as
hollow and dead
like I'm a corpse.

I'm totally disconnected
and disjointed in this
reality, this plane
of existence.

Where has the me
that I once was
gone to?
Where am I?

I feel nothing
tasting only the
loneliness and dust
on my lips.

I've become paralyzed
in the waters of despair.

i finally found you
                                 and you're happy with him

Bitterness burns,
inside.
It takes my breath away;
can I cry?
Do I have shelter,
or shall I succumb?

I love being nobody
I need to be nobody
Anonymity is my cloak
The only way I survive

Because when I'm nobody to everyone
I'm everything to nobody
I can work in the background
And, being unnoticed, do great things

I'll die in an unmarked grave
I'm happy with that
Because if you live peacefully
It was worth the cost

Though words fail to be found there is a fire burning between my ribs. Fed up and tired of the way my life is coming undone, I rage and depress at the same time. I'm sick of friends who will claim to be there for me then turn around and blame me for being the way that I am. I don't need anyone's judgement because believe me, I give myself more than enough. I'm sick of the way everyone I fall in love with already has another man in their life which results in either me being a homewrecker (because nothing stays in the dark forever) or another burnt ******* bridge I light up. How many women have said  I deserve to be loved by someone special then they disappear on me? Five? Ten? Twenty? **** it. How about the practical joke that is my faith? I claim Jesus as my savoir and still I live in the darkness, refusing to step into the light because I'm scared shitless of being exposed. Yeah, I follow God while having X amount of affairs, a total *** addict. I post this rant and rave because I simply cannot control my emotions anymore. I don't trust myself. I don't trust anyone. I just want to die alone and be alone. I don't know what I am doing. I just want to let it out.

"How do you know you love me?"*

For a moment, a lone moment in time you loved me.
Close your eyes and don't pay any attention to what you see,
Images and dancing dots are not what to look for, my love.
Close your eyes and feel my voice in your mind,
Softly trickling down to where you don't want me to see;
It's okay.
Trust not in the pain you are feeling, but in the words that are healing.
You have seen my heart reflected through my words, through my actions.
You know I won't recoil and flee from you, my love.
It's okay.
Keep your eyes closed and focus on the warmth of my hand.
Feel as I draw hearts across your knuckles and breathe.
The air is crisp and sweet; keep your eyes closed, my love.
Open the gates of your heart and peer into the portal.
Peer into the portal and see that moment in time.
It's okay; open your eyes, my love.

Do you see how I love you, now?

I need to accept that you're gone,
not coming back into my life;
to accept the reality that
you were another casualty
I couldn't prevent
couldn't stop...

I can't stop counting the days,
not the weeks or months, but days
that have passed without so much
as a whisper from your heart;
I can't stop breathing your aroma,
the memories that stab my dreams...

I hope & pray you are happy
found somebody who loves you
a fraction as much as I did;
I hope your family is okay
that there was forgiveness &
mending in the days since...
I hope you're okay

I love you always...

More distant more cold
The frigid waters freeze your fear
The frothy fog fades the shore
Swing low and stare at the stars
Ice halos around each twinkle
Born of broken wishes
Frost lays her sheet across your bones
There is no worry here for you
Be at peace and sink below
One with the salt and the sea

your name used to be
       an intake of cool winter air
    refreshing my lungs
in glowing frost;
  when i speak your name
now nothing happens
      you are a memory
   best left forgotten

I honestly couldn't help but laugh
At how we both end up broke from
Love.

Seven years we've known each other
You've gone through six boyfriends
None meant for you.

I've had not a single girlfriend yet
A complicated situation with one
I loved like you.

Now we're in the same boat
Scared to love because it hurt
Too deep to heal.

Most ****** up thing is
If I wasn't a *****
and you could trust me
We'd have forever together
But instead our love is a memory.

Slop along down the dreary road,
Rain burns against my weary skin,
The cold wind exhales it's ice,
And the clouds above roll over light.

The mud beneath me slips and slides,
On the boots I'm in, collects on the sides.
Tracks of wagons and people puddles in,
Like even the rain cuddles for warmth.

The path is skewed and twisted,
Broken by time and the elements,
My destination is unknown to me,
All I know is I'm following my destiny.

You could never fathom my heart,
You could never accept my love,
You could never trust me,
You could never love,

So you broke my heart,
Just a splinter at a time,
Everyday another crack,
Because you can't love,

Now I am a bitter man,
Cuz I can't forgive you,
I can never forget you,
& when you left, I died.

All these words,
All these feelings,
I'm a madman
Yelling at mirrors
Scrabble pieces mixed up,
Fifty-Two cards shuffled,
I'm ******* insane
I don't know reality anymore

Always a ray of sunshine to people
Loving to your heart's maximum capacity
Interesting and creative poems
Amazing inspiration for living life

Alia, you're bubbly as champagne
Like you've never let anything get you down
In all honesty, you're the cheeriest person ever
And you make everyone's day so much better