Upon a tumultuous street, a notion alights,
It hastens in haste, then averts its gaze,
My heart's echo descends into a crimson abyss,
Upon the ocean floor, it drifts away.

Your name, I called, yet emptiness replied,
A bloom of yours, I drew, withering away.

Life's lines extend before me,
To choose, where your love resides.

This ritual unfolds each day,
I peer within, a melancholy abode,
Where my heart, a vantablack canvas, remains.

:: 12.02.2023 ::

FOREVER is not a given thing ~~
it is a memory

what is love but not eternity?

how love can build and destroy
cosmos alive?

as flesh wastes away
after death ~~

love stands strong astride

with intact personality.

:: 10.25.2023 ::

How i remember the pasteur of life

that nursed the disease of living;

nourishing upon the hill preserved

The thoughts of a mind sticks pleasure

As my reason.  As a physician.

Whose medicine did not keep

but i approve.

How science says and does

desire of death?  What physics accepts?

How living is prescription for death;

A poet frantic-mad with such unrest.

I myself am calm realizing I am more

than flesh and blood and those whose

are art as black as hell, as dark as night

I forgive them.

:: 10.26.2023 ::

"Darling! Seek a room where we'll radiate bright!"
Like the sun, in a realm where no walls confine?

"Yes! A realm brimming with moons, hearts, and light,
With kisses untold!" Let this dream intertwine.

Yes, let it be so! And behold, it is done.
Oh, see the walls shimmer, like vibrant skin's glow!

The roof's absence transforms, sky takes its throne,
Where creatures of tender hearts freely bestow:

Butterflies and their hosts, through our doors, they flow!
"Darling, what lies ahead? What do we allow?"

LOVE, LOVE, AND MORE LOVE! It's our eternal vow!

07.5.2023

What spirit imbues that flesh! A love like that of a mother's best,
with twinkling eyes and a heart of gold, that mystical flair that balances dew upon the soothing green blade, touching your father's heart too!

And you tend to good deeds that love and life bequeath to all,
a fiery and tender twinkle that brings joyous tears to your father's eyes, with the moon and bird-songs following you forevermore!

Your lovely grace in turmoil will make his heart always beat for you,
the world and all its gifts of gold and position are not as valuable
as that tender spot where angels dance, the room where I first met you.

That spot must have the best cot that shall forever remain my home,
you are a fair bloom of sweet beauty, fairer than roses bringing the bright noon-day, more valuable than grass, rain, or the cold kiss of a winter's night, because it's what's inside of you, not your fur or appearance, that's dear, it's the bloom that comes from the heart, and that's what I keep.

What soft breaths of wind, what autumn songs from the skies that day, and what beauty was not lost, comes from the cleft of the heart,
the heart that I hold in mine, to your father, who now with silent eyes fixed, weeps tears of the heart for you

From Heaven above have come

THE ROSE AND THE FLOWER.

(rev) 03.19.2023

NUMB(Land) came ashore near the boat house
where i last saw my precious kitty cat.

And upon the edge of sea and skies
i see a brewing storm and i fret for her.

How i want her and I need her although
she acts as though she never loved me.
i saw inside her eyes last night
that she cries all for me.

I stayed home all week and now the storm
past but my heart aches | i won't forget her.

Today i found a soulless mouse next to my door.
How she breaks my heart because she shan't
cry for no one any longer but I believe in her.

::  11.16.2021 ::

Do you see me?  I am running with the peacocks.
They are the Peahens protecting their eggs
and i a part of the harem mating.  Forget
the beauty of our plumage -- we will **** anyone
who tries to get our eggs.

:: 11.16.2021 ::

AND if you go -- love goes away?  No, it's understood.
My love stays as freedom is a breakfast food
as if love can live with right or wrong (undestood)
or rolly-pollies are from frightful mountains made---
long enough just for you and me.

As though pain can pay the rent
regardless of genius please the talentgang comes
to collect the fallen minds and hearts upon
the sidewalks of understanding.  Everywhere.

So as it is;  my whole life:  as my coalwood eyes
burn wint-air oh waiting (my love) for spring ?(y)(w)ou(w)
un-air-stan?me
crazy
me like

evry-ting
we can do it for just Me and You.  So bring it (with love)
for a landing -- without misunderstanding -- as there is no
end what we can do together without end.

see shebert lips of babies and their beating exploding Love-hearts
: with a little luck we can help it out.

:: 10.24.2021 ::

WE walk upon the lemon slice like-Earth spinning dish
a garnish upon our plate ' a heart full of pie
and i love pasted upon your face (within orange-spilled
skies) makes mascara smear when i taste your heart

oh, moon like a drop of caught tears!
i crushed you there in my fist,
and on top of day i forgot your name
when i tasted your heart it makes mascara smear

Oh well, oh yeah
it's an open space
oh no, oh my
i died forgiving
just two hands upon
a wooden cross
and mascara smears
christ-like lover.

:: 01-11-2015 ::

HOW

With heavy BREATHING as (faithfully) her lownecked
throat -- something in how her 19th centry dress little
topples and expands. Emily Dickinson?

One small foot squared /mired in silk\ wrinkling lost
asking me:  how we are here now \ i slowly within
sun-drenched ponderous arms bedecked /time travels --
whose white thick wrist deliver prompoty
to a deep lap of enormous mindless HEART.

How i never believe i now but always in "how"
and how she tells me i need no other lover :
i won't leave her now/ how i believe her now \
asking me how i believe in her love -- i say
"i don't know oh i don't know"  how?

something in the way she knows.  And all i have
to do is think of her -- it's what she shows
me.  I believe in "how."

What I believe in how.

:: 10.24.2021 ::

PEOPLE with eating disorders are “allowed” to keep their identity secret. You’re not allowed to be a person.

You are simply “a stomach that ate.”

Everyone who sees you has a lot of power over you. You must be nice to them, speak in a certain way, present yourself in a certain way, and never be so self-conscious that you don’t want to eat.

You don’t want to eat because if you did, you would be severely sick.

You wouldn’t be in control of your life.

You would be a creature.

You would be weak.

It was during my treatment that I learned who I really was.

I understood that my eating disorder could be cured, because it was merely a disease of mind and body.

I didn’t have to be afraid of food, because it’s a powerful human tool.

I knew that I was not being a stomach that ate; I was a person who had been infected by a brain that wanted control. My illness wanted to make me not a person but a mind that ate.

A mind that went through life being controlled, and told what to do, and how to feel.

A mind that no longer could think for itself.
A mind that wanted to give up control, but didn’t know how.
A mind that could think but couldn’t act.

I understood that I had to take back control of my life.

I had to make myself be a person who was not a stomach that ate.

I was a girl who thought, and had dreams, and wasn’t a blob.
I was young.
I was a daughter.

I had big plans for the future.

I was a Christian.

I was a girl, who needed love, and felt loved.

I needed to be loved, and loved.

I wanted to be strong, and able to live a life that my illness would never again keep me from.

I wanted to make a difference in the world, and to love others.

I needed to learn to love myself, and to use my illness to help me learn how to love myself.

I could choose.
I would choose.
I would love myself.

I could have a beautiful life.
I could be happy.

In order to be healthy, I had to learn to let go of that which I didn’t need.

I needed to let go of the need to control my life.
I needed to let go of that which scared me and made me afraid.
I needed to let go of the struggle to know what to do next.
I needed to let go of the confusion of what I wanted and who to be.
I needed to let go of the struggle to say no.
I needed to learn to say yes.
I needed to let go of my imagination, because life doesn’t work that way.
I needed to let go of my imagination, because my illness was reality.
I needed to let go of my imagination, because my disorder was my life.
I needed to let go of my personality, because my illness was my character.
I needed to learn to find my own self.
I needed to learn to let go of being tired of not being a stomach that
ate.
I needed to learn to be a person, because being a person is what I wanted most.

And after I learned how to let go of that which I didn’t need, I became a person that my illness no longer could control.

I learned to say yes.
I learned to say no.
I learned to laugh, and be silly.
I learned to cry, and have emotions.
I learned to write, and speak, and love.
I learned to have fun, and to love life.
I knew how to make choices, because my disorder was not only no longer controlling my life, but was helping me to make choices.

My eating disorder was the healthiest thing that had ever happened to me.

It was a sickness of the mind, and a sickness of the body.
It was a sickness of the body that was a sickness of the mind.
It was a sickness of the mind, that could be treated, and a sickness of the mind, that could not.

I learned, over time, how to say yes.
I learned to say no.
I learned to find my voice.
I learned how to be brave.

I had not learned how to be brave when I was diagnosed, but I learned it with the help of my mind and my illness.

I learned how to be brave, because I had to be.

I had to be strong.
I had to be able to overcome this disorder, and be brave, because there was no other option.

I needed to be brave, for me, for my parents, for my friends, for my boyfriend, and for everyone who loved me.
I had to be brave.
I learned to say yes.
I learned to live in a world of uncertainty.
I had to live with the uncertainty that my mind and my stomach might not agree with.
I had to live with the uncertainty that my disorder would destroy everything that I ever wanted in life.
I had to live in uncertainty, for me, for my parents, for my friends, for my boyfriend, and for everyone who loved me.

:: 10.22.2020 ::

MY body floats within effervescent veins
and blooms of fields by gold to fullest
fields of flowers;
by consciousness barely touching
the art of your essences
; i have only known a radiance of
this smile you project toward me–
it is the shimmering vision of
your lips and the softness of curves
that you are brighter than the
moon tonight; to hear the song
of your quiet tongue to taste the
tone of your beating heart dear:
and wreathed by the blossoms of
your tender *******.
A LOVE SONG.
WHEN i meet you here; away from the
busy sound of life — when i vibrate
that no darkness can find it is of
one mind//ours\ that touches you
and me\
who can fathom the mystery ;?
no words no song no thoughts
just veiled eyes and unwritten
poetry is sent.
a high candelabrum held by our
hands and fingers: bent inward
in a passion of growing fields.

:: 10.11.2020 ::

Eyeball god in mouth

Ostara?…Dio?…Luna? …

Is light as hunger for colors?

Eros the god of eyes and the hidden feelings
shameful man with ***** **** — sighing ***
in his heart — a crack, deep and wide!

Black Hole!

Punk rock for a Black Hole!

Rainbow and jubilee exploded in flood!

Like a ***** universe all of our pornographic desires
moments of starving stars and **** stars!

An eyeless god living in a glass tube with hearts
like hot flashes in heat-blasted rooms!
Pulsing pimples — swirling while a midnight sky
brings forth a cacophony of cosmic screams!

More impassioned raw-animal! More barking!
more vibrations — more imminence!

More sinewy limbs on show — ***** I’m looking at —
lifeless grey body but voracious pink face!

It licks and whimpers, suckles and *****!

Shall I become a statue again? — glazed face with eyes
sheers-white in precession of Venus?

Hey! Taint! Milk it!

:: 11.12. 2020 ::

Summer sun drips on rooftops let alone
seven divided by seven the digits line up
the age old math equation:
nine is the chosen number;
lithographs and insects steal souls
rising west i fell to my knees
playing snake with demons
how dare i dream
decimating everything!

As long as i crawl i’ll survive
one day you will take my eyes from me
leaving my tongue unfed
just then the world crumbles
the worms crawl their way back into
my pores and i will turn back into dust
but i promise you

it’s okay

she’ll make it through the night
as long as the human heart beats

:: 12.04.2021 ::

walking through a daze  suffocating the world
walking across America no face mask
just mind wars wine tours
all along a stretch of highway
spitting on bugs sweating all my love
rivers drowning faith

so now i know how the world dies
not within fire
not within ice
but supplication
i remember lesser wars but not this
where everyone is afraid to challenge political ****
never seen weakness  like now

Supplication confuses the wishes of liberty
fear mongering rampant within all mainstream media
how to climb that Precipice to get to you?

if not then we all die.

:: 11.16.2020 ::

these guest posts left behind
after feeding the mind
from the best of books and with a
potent sense of humor
man! she’s done an angel’s work
like a hurricane
she’s perfect, fearless,
somehow it had to be just right
and so it was
everything came out like the mill
like a violin through a steel pipe
her chest and voice
who in the hell can sing like that?
now’s she got the way
to ride the winds,
rope in by a moment
and bam! there it is.

she made it, the same way the world makes it
each one standing shouting for change
like a piano wire dangling over a hill
like someone who’s seen and heard
better things yet neither not of this world
just a stroke of brilliance
so life changing that her music permeates
the walls, the kitchen, the hallway,
even the carpet
sometimes she waits, takes a big inhale
and plummets to the floor.

:: 11.16.2020 ::

Jason had this penthouse apartment that was centrally located in Beverly Hills.

He was incredibly clean, but in an overwhelming kind of way.

The carpet and stuff were spotless, the cabinets were plastic, and the paint was not chipping. I felt like I was in a Doctor’s office waiting room.

He was snoring loudly, and just at the right moment he opened his eyes.

"Ha! You are dead! This is a dream, right?"

I felt a bit offended, as I was obviously the one snoring.

"No, no!"  He pointed at the clock. "It's 4AM!" (Lucky number 8!).

"You're a zombie! You're dead and you're dreaming!”

“I’m a zombie, alright!" I yawned and started to hack up zombie gore.

"Watch out!" He screamed and jumped out of the bed.

"All right, you monster! I'm dead and I'm dreaming! I'm dead and I'm dreaming!"

He chased me around the room.

"You're not dead, you're a zombie! You're a zombie, that's just what you are, a zombie, so it's a dream!" He threw up his hands. "You can't win!"

“I can't win, yeah? That’s right, I can't win. That's my luck, ha-ha!”

I hope you like midnight horror flicks." His face crinkled with confusion; the zombies smile that I was always afraid of flashing on.
"Well I didn't say I was a horror movie person. Oh, that's right, but you said, I'm dead and I'm dreaming, so that's a horror movie, right?"
I thought about it.

"Okay, I guess it's more like...like if a zombie comes to my door..."

:: 09.24.2020 ::

By some Sourdough monk in Northern Europe Patron Saint: The Drunk Monk of Nimbus HERE you will find the only reliable treatment to solve all your psychiatric and medical problems.

The Drunk Monk has won many awards for his unconventional experimental treatments.

All of the Four Pillars of Understanding have been found to contain gold along with the Mayan Calendar. The importance of this breakthrough is that you may rid yourself of the ‘Woolsey Complex’ of whatever madness has brought you here today!

You need not pay the traditional price of gold this Buddhist monk can supply cheaply (assuming you don’t mind that this saint was turned away from the Inn In Henley upon Thames, over 1,000 miles from here!) in which you’ll find:

1. A helpful cosmic energy: energy from the Emperor of the Universe! He’s like Santa Claus without the jolly youthfulness or lack of living relatives.

2. Dependable transportation: the Holy Nimbus Scooter. Just take that scooter, turn it upside down, and it’s a see-saw!

3. All 4 Pillars of Understanding: the number of boatloads of cash that you’re destined to receive from unknown sources, and soon you’ll be having tea with the Queen!

4. Also, all the Five Pillars of Wisdom: I won’t be delivering the 5th but you already have it, don’t you? (He’s helping you move! You’ll see what I mean!).

The drunk monk uses a dozen different methods to get you “saved!” First, you’ll need to drink a liter of ***** every day Do you think he’s kidding? Then, and only then, will you learn that Zen Buddhism has been around for a long time and yet doesn’t have any tradition of drunken asceticism!

On the contrary, you’ll learn that Zen Buddhism was an old tradition of Buddhism in which monks exalted in quiet prayer could use liquor in their meditation and drink it out of respect for the Emperor of the Universe.

You’ll also learn that in the original 4th Pillar of the Buddha’s teachings, the monk used no alcohol but on his first miracle he just drank a glass of sake without soiling himself. The Drunk Monk will help you as he helps other desperate people who are down on their luck.

Give me your name and address and I’ll let you know when I can see you next!

:: 09.25.2020 ::

Share this:

contumacious//

some nameless Persian Genius in a copper crown
as the swallowed planks within their abysses;
       to turn pale with shame
  and yet with eyes very open to pretend
to see angelic waves of Ocean's life.
oh!  how sweet it is to abruptly ****** from
one's insane mind a perfect day:
on weekenders it's such fun that if we die our appearance
of everyone's miseries ---meanwhile, we drink the blood
of enemies by licking their wounds.

::/6\30\2020/::
rev: 090920

i look within the mirror     (things are not looking good)
a mind of a man;  a soul of    a woman:  when my dreams
stretch out love surrenders.    
My body, savaged by pain   (i am as a peasant)
undermines Love.
  -- makes romantic spirits
leap into the bottom of a
deep chasm of Earth.
   The soul can never get old    a marching army of night
invaded me as a weapon; but as i breath i repel
the hordes with my heat
i sought a woman so strong
,      intelligent and soft: a body of skin, of fire,
of firm and thirsty milk!    
i hold her bountiful *******  ! and hug warm and womanhood.
   still i feel i am sinking:
   so now you know.  my thirst  and desire for woman without
end -- a wavering tight road!
   so now.  I know there are cemeteries so lonely, for my kind.  
   Dead bones that do not move.  but all dead and
   living hearts move through a tunnel!

:: 09.09.2020 ::

Listen.  Today i lost my voice -- it left upward looking for my mind.
sometimes the strangeness of Life becomes reality and nothing more.
today i found myself within a garden of snakes and meat-devouring
plants.  If not for the purple skies it would have been a wasted
experience.  Meeting God was an experience before i found myself
inside a fetus that became my physical body.
  the doves sang a brilliant but sometimes somber song;
peace of a piece so small it became nothing before i could
touch it's sharp and exquisite edge.
Listen.
Today i lost my mind.
and my voice flew downward looking for sanity.

:: 09.11.2020 ::

NOW that i flew by fierce few
sabots language trickling
and in the morning's red eyes
my heart picks rosenbloom
   picks blue berries upon the side
   of the road of Life while i sweat
picking love by the fingers wishing water
like i dreamed of a woman (but if i
should say, 'hold my depleted lips
wishing water'  i wish and pray
as a common soul:  but begging
cups of water to spoons dance
every-
   hands (you know lust)  a spring
of Life:  this most exquisite
of all loudness:  strumming a guitar
singing any language above the notes.
   and this imitation resembles
the humanity of flesh.  thinner
than a hair of silently who are we
inclinded and cling towards the greatest
poem of my heart -- me.

:: 09.08.2020 ::

TEMPORAL SPLENDOR

A connotation of love
-- and to life
sharpens this temporal splendor
of the night

i want to live down eager
streets of lifelessness

wind, wind, wind, the notes
of harmonica asking, 'did
you once love someone?

as the final feather floating
down a whirl-wind in the final
brain_

as when down eager boulevards
of purple rolled in velvet
beyond doomed thoughts feels

crumbling silence
and seriously smiles
as when i have sometimes thought

of you too.

:: 09.07.2020 ::

EDITORS are pathologist
that dissect the words,
flay the meanings
and remove the guts
-- burn me within
a furnace before
an editorial autopsy

:: 07-28-2014 ::

Rev: 05-20-2018

And death is a kiss like love
the burning passion mourning
when the golden cord cuts
the beating heart of souls
and we tread upon fresh dew
buttercups gravely bruised --
you knew did you not?  The world
is a battlefield and we are
the dying soldiers giving blood
and life for the few who know value
-- a golden key for the spirit.

:: 08-09-2014 ::

ALICE  all your friends are slow
if you follow then you shall know
but if you choose the rabbit hole:
    
   All our friends are there
-- they all ask of you; even
   The One you know
he has Sudden Moves

   IF you wait for reality to ask
then the universe will feel abused
but if you choose your hand
   o v e r   a    g  r  e  n a d e
the blood of the psychopath next
to you will release all pretension --
  ask him;  look at the eyes
oh daddy i love you
but outside is the boss
   i think he is one of us

:: 03.30.2020 ::

a creeping chill throws me cold: the
skies have turn  SEPIA AND i  completely
utterly melt into each word
birth'd -- this elegie betrays the poet;
a confession unburdens the Spirit -- you
are reading about the me of 'i' have always loved you |mia /i shall meet you again to-now within the theater of my Soul  sure, sometimes
i have concern for the world as it continues to devour my Feelings and sensibilities.
   when can i love you again?

:: 03.24.2020 ::

i complied with Life
but i did not receive
reciprocity:
loquacity -- not of me

  go ask the baker if his
dough is dry  he will kindly
say, "Ask any Poet, to perish
-- sans verbosity!

:: 03.25.2020 ::

the mouthOFnoise eats the silence;
everywhere NOise!)turns my insides(
out/-of Tears i said to the mother
holding empty children's shoes

EyesofSorrow drowns her sight:
only to eternally see all horror
with sightless eyes that diligently
cry-/i once had a great Love that died

                      the Ghosts of
Antikythera's Cell Machines burn
the sharp edge of decaying reality;laboriously
the longest Legs of Time march forth as it
steps over my shortest Thoughts within the
MOUTH)of(NOISE

:: 03.26.2020 ::

It's a complicated world
ruled by pain and fear
Everything's 'will you swim
or will you fade'
the smallest things
hold us back
the madness outside
these walls
are nothing compared
to what's within my halls

Brain traffic: s/o confused
grid-locked & neurotically fused
Drain my Soul
Brain traffic: over/used
fear-****-fed till your dead
then Life's on hold
it's all Inside your head
BRAIN DEAD.

:: 03.27.2020 ::

Madness has found it's circus again.
What? - Panic.
It is where fear holds hands with
weakness.

To watch how the world changes,
as though it has never had wings
And the enemy is full of nothingness
but it's shadow is cast across
the mind's of those without Faith.

To allow the Sun to shine down
revealing all the Beings who Sleep
Nature's keen sight -- no thing
hidden but all revealed.

Since the world has stopped
Since the music has stopped
Since the traffic has stopped

The world is alone / inside itself
that no one says it the Skies Scream
"orietur! orietur!"
the words come alive!  Alive!

:: 03.15.2020 ::

Peel me off my balanced scale
add chocolate morsels to my -->  WOUNDS
Kiss me my puffer fish Lips
THANK YOU my orchid-eye'd mess;

  i've enjoyed your moss pit ACT
  We're all characters
  writing stories ---
  Life's Pact!

:: 03.07.2020 ::

i have walked within your
thunderstorms & broken nails
upon the wood of your maple
casket -- makes me sad

called a dove the vulture of
all hearts (oh my)
hauled ***** stares within
the sack of my brain we all
refrain from bruised egos OH HEY
says the ******* of my MOUTH
you can only lose
what you never had
and i broke nails
trying to pull Jesus
from his Cross//+\

:: 03.11.2020 ::

FORGIVE me if They think i am Mad
a center must have a whole
which i missed while drinking
starlight and licking *******-
cosmic dust while tending to
a lost angelic gaggle of giggling
cherubic-like girls;  (hand hiding
Mouth) Even the Heavens have s e x
like our blades of early morning
grass drip dew do i really love
how the dogs all bark at once when
they saw that Star falling from
your Skies

:: 03.11.2020 ::

DO-liciously said i   fell in Love
be()()Tween your most'ist gloriously
grand trait Oars swiftly guided my
strong and long co AWK went the
swallow chasing her boyfriend
and babies are beautiful in
Spring.

:: 03.11.2020 ::

"falling!" said the Star
"Oh wee!" sang the birds
"Despised!" cursed farmers
"By God!" screamed the children

and the rest of humanity moved along
just fine

:: 03.11.2020 ::

No youth or age hides from an eternal rule:
                                the touch of vulnerability     by which all creatures of Sea & Land
      bayonet->all|sides| of the same chordTingles confusion                                      the brainsBROken-spoken politeness  revealed by natural light a
      sewn-skin upon a parched vacant Post-sign by-wild(er) words (ok)_.
So We cry. A miracle so difficult! And then blew my eyes saying,
'Death is a miracle feeling no pain'
toward my pain's feelings long history//the banality of insanity
rolled a beach ball by the hand of God-Bless i wish to know
those secrets He keeps away keeps unto the majestic miracles,    -Father;
     we children cry when we see
                                 the End of Loved Ones                                     we
                                 believing YOU: funeral                                    or    
                                 victory!

:: ~~ ::

IF you follow me bring the dead along for all the children have suffered and all madmen pollute || ~~ IS GAME OVER “? between sun-beating down & STARS beating
psychotic clowns/ the pogo clown has died forever.
If you could you might adjust your eyes against all monsters that follow
…kiss me if you survive \perishing is a buildingGRACE of reSKINNING the Soul
(oh whoa oh whoa oh wow oh no oh hey)
…just say the hardest price to pay //
are the things for free // eat and drink
remain my memory deeply between crimson &
sun-baked lips (music stretches thinner
e a c h & e v e r y d a y
carry on even if the stars extinguish
the very hurt you receive time &
space str e t c h ed pass a threshold of
mortal pain…you see and creation is reversed forward
God have mercy upon our weakened hearts
shame shame it’s the only world we have
and each other — there ain’t no denying (OH mother! No denying LIFE is a THORN against my eyes; as i bend down i try to find my BEING within a deeply yelled moan; i’m dying i’m dying i’m rolling round a desert stream — shambhala come again against trail dust and kasmir
i am waiting i am decaying i am a mote of Poet
t r aveling inside OPEN space considered: static syntax
and congealed moments upon the professional grace of unspoken
words. whoa…whoa…it’s the hardest price to pay when things
so expensive are for free.

:: 03.03.2020 ::

the sound of forgetting  is beautiful
and requires no talent ;
    all one must do is  Remain
Silent upon a beating drum
  then one must think of
BigNothings
    & one must believe in
Miracles before these events called for--->
getting grow within fields we have forgotten
but still walk upon /--_ while recognizing
all the spots where we have hidden our land-
Mines -- all within fear____&
   empty space is the sound of forgetting.

:: 03.07.2020 ::

Sky!  Lift me gently up
as an infant bruised by life's measure
& forgive my Spirit for it aches
       by the fire
       by the brimstone
    of Life hard experienced
    of Life unforgiven to the end
Sky!  Your graceful colors are brilliant
     be regal by air rarer than Cherub-breath
     be held by no earthly governance
  breathe!  breathe!  life is the glorious
  battle!  battle!  life is the gift for
                    all victors!

:: 03.06.2020 ::

when the heart is shattered the world turns black & cold
you either swim in the light of dust (across Rainbow-Glory)
roads or float through life & space  
   so ****ing a l one
   unless i am with you
   the walls & madness become
a nuclear-cloud of fears
when the heart is shattered
bruised-Love accents are lips
spokenWild  and the heart's
echoes are as musicSplendor
   S W I M into space
Orion hides your Face
   I'd die with you if
   Rainbow-Glory is ever
   d e s t r o y e d.


:: 03.06.2020 ::

MY adventure began no less than upon this chilling night when homes of many lower their shades and **** the light. As sullen souls lay down for bed and fall into their dreams some common sense was telling me I ought to follow;  but my heart stood firm and I – in place of fear!

While conviction (that solid and shiny compass) melted color-pale and heavy fright that night my plan was nothing more than this: to find the house of EROS to cure my heart of alder blight! After Chaos, Gaia, and Tartarus he was born but for I — as I for him this night, my ambition over fear.

EROS, the God of Love and sexuality could show the path for that enduring love of my bride to be … my writ of right! Nothing more to keep me still so I fled into the frozen hills upon a whirlwind. Yes, me the mere mortal like EROS I sped beating glittering golden wings upon my hidden fear.

Heavy a burden of knowing what must be, that fate of me. As my beast passed through the mist and soared in height she bravely carried on across barren wasteland and icy bog as sad and frozen waters gravely sang to me, “CHAOS …” and my eyes were slightly hidden – Monmouth and fear.

And it seemed to me that humanity might have just begun as we moved by wood and sullen hill surging forth in might. Oh! Pity us as EROS must feel the greater that his bride was no less than CHAOS!

Soon I came upon a chasm which has no name but keeps a flame the light of Luna burned – to see the truth of life this night.
The dance of light upon the night stirred a feeling within my soul.
Soothing my beast I released the burden of my weight and there she fled into the night like burning crystal – who eased my fear.

And within the gaping chasm of this slightly twisted **** of soil I faced my future fate by gently carefully moving forward into that dim light.  And into the night like oil each footstep soaked inside my soul; the fear within this slice of time grabbing my throat so fierce and I, like EROS, felt as one with love, less that burning fear.

My mind a fever beating like a raging river I slowly seeped into the porous night like some hungry ravenous creature who only wishes blood and bite.  But soon that moment of decision as I met that ancient door of lore.  And with my hand so cold and gray I took to knock upon the legend no less EROS.  In retrospect I must confess: seconds felt as minutes – minutes like hours, all in fear!

The sane and stable heart might wish to judge the fool I am but the need for love is stronger than the shame of fools or mortal smite.  To those who know the pain and silence of an empty life tonight compels the heart to find one’s lover and to face one’s fear and fright!

:: || ::

THEN the skies bellowed a frothy glitter    and  d o w n  became up & sideways turned horizontally truthful said the vegan Aardvark.  

THE Policeman chewed his m0uth-side and a Red Ant crawled out from his nostril ****-us (Quatrain 173) & my pillow has luscious lips from some disembodied woman who once cared for me.    The rest of this   delirious-prose is buried in an unmarked book within a discount store on the far side of the Moon.

::02.??.2020::

My neck  has stretched above the clouds
the Adamic Apple tickling stars --
and my Love is here and there upon
every footstep i have walked.  
    Life is not just Pain.
    Nor just Love.
    But fear and Joy
    Morbidity and a shade of nudeness
IF the Soul is inclined to explore
God's backyard; No cowards!  Most of us!
    To shade your shame within religion
or  a sense of higher ground for weak
    voices.  Shame.  Shame upon the lot!
          The Sun is brilliant.
    and still your mystery!  

  :: 04-03-2019 ::

Edison was an a$$hole but Tesla a true gentleman of scientific  progress and even though they do not know we are simply looking through the papers of life''s nature;  life flows like

B u t t e r f l i e s --> and someday
rocks will sing ; 'we wish you love
and we wish you peace'
      yea
      oh yea
    oh yea
wish we lived within a better time than now     now-now
      no hearse pulls a u-hall behind it now-now
if you give it away give it all away i say
and moths have no feed-time on a closet of emptiness
   as empty heads require no hats -- there-there;
who wears a real hat these days?
    Sinking waters hold ships tighter than leather-
skin and she was a grand woman with
     a long neck and longer abdomen
-- forgive the orchids for they ate her and spat up
fluorescent pink angel hair.

::02.22.2020::

There within that meadow
beneath that weeping willow
came to me, my love
upon golden wings
and gossamer hair

what separation held
dissolved unto bliss
my heart gently held
within angelic mist

there within that meadow
beneath that weepy willow
saw a rebirth of soul
and fear fled, sorrow too
and the willow cried

"what soul once chained
NOW FREE!"

:: 04-03-2014 ::

that Knowing came today
  in a casket it lay
a thing revealed   i say
that which lived now dead
the mystery of mysteries
whirling upon my head;
once to live
once to die
and many more hidden
within my rye!

:: 04-03-2014 ::
Rev: 03.01.2020

i

What spirit imbue that flesh
a love as thy mother in her best
twinkle eye too, heart of gold
that mystic flair balance dew
upon the blade of green-soothe
And touch thy father's heart, too!

ii

And thou tend to good deeds
that love and life bequeath all
a fire and tender twinkle too
thy father so joyous tears sing
and moon and bird-song along
shall forever follow you!

iii

Her lovely grace in turmoil-say
and his heart too shall always beat
for you the world and all its gifts
not of gold or position in world
but that tender spot angels dance
that room which first I met you

:: 03-24-2014 ::

NOT  a goodbye my sweet birds
but that season's  change
o'er time and human need

the burrow may borrow
what little warmth
of heart but the sun sees
the vastness of grand love
we give her\so not a goodbye
little ones but a promise
for tomorrows!

:: 03-22-2014 ::
Rev: 03-18-2018