I’ve been getting nervous that
you won’t call cause
I don’t wanna lose you
See I don’t often let myself lay
comfortably in someone else’s arms or
let someone rest their hand
on my hip while I sleep
I lose my breath remembering
that feeling of you feeling me

The simple intimacy of laying in bed
in our underwear
looking at each other after the sun rises,
Talking bout cards our parents gave us
our laughter filling the room with warmth
Lately it’s been so cold

I don’t want to let this all go
I rest my head on your shoulder
just to be closer to you
Don’t let me go

Innocently intertwining as we sleep
I hear you snore and you pull me in
Your body familiar, my body resurrected
Let’s lay here still while the world spins
Like we’ve done this all before

you were a laughing constant
that always smiled at my jokes and
fell for my fake stories
that I told just to make you laugh
you should've known then
that I will lie to you
if it means making you smile
if it means hiding who I really am

I saw you in the corner of an empty room
that was crowded with my thoughts
clouded with drugs
I saw you
barely knew you
but still told you
cause I knew to take it as a sign
that you're here for
me too

I'm sorry that we broke each other
and that we waltz in and out of our lives
waiting for me to be ready
or else you to be ready
I can't be sure
not sure if we'll ever be ready
just always right
I didn't want to hurt you
and I'm sorry I did
when I ran away to hide
and protect you from me
I mean protect me from you
cause you hold me to who I am
and pull me out from hiding
but its hard to keep hiding from you
don't want to stay away from you
but I'm afraid I've done too much damage

maybe, I'm holding on to the best parts of you
but there are so many best parts that
I don't wanna let go, I can't let go
can't open my hand to wave good bye
can't open my arms to anyone else
didn't have you long enough to
say I love you but
boy did I
knew that for a while cause
I always had

I said happy birthday cause
that's my white flag
my bridge to over it
my olive branch
but I haven't heard from you since

I miss the feeling that you weren't going anywhere
cause your 4 am hellos were enough
your "you're probably not awake"
your "have you heard this song"
my, being awake
my, "I love that song too"
were all enough
do you still think of me when you
hear those songs or find that art
or have you completely forgotten about us
riding together in your car like we had started
the beginning of forever?

I try to forget I miss you by
finding the good in everyone else
finding prospect in guys not meant for me
maybe you were not meant for me either

So instead I tell my stories, of my crazy, funny friend
and how he lights up my time at home
with good luck and bad timing
how everything for him always works out
but almost falls apart
of our time together, in the car, driving
incidents with police officers
where I kept my cool and
your good fortune got us out unscathed

I tell them about the time you stopped in the intersection,
just to make me laugh till
I pulled you back in the car and we drove away

I keep to myself that first morning after in the car, silent
we didn't talk for 30 minutes till
you told me you wanted to buy fruit leather
I don't even know what fruit leather is

I keep to myself the time you looked at me and
told me how she broke your heart
I keep to myself the time you broke my heart

All our best times together were in the car
going somewhere or nowhere
just going, together  
going out for coffee, but you, not getting coffee
cause you don't like coffee but I always forget and
pick the same place to eat
you never remind me that you don't like coffee
if you ring me again I promise, I won't forget that
you don't like coffee