I've been trying to write away humiliation &
carve embarrassment out of my chest
but its hard to put emotion to paper when the boy that hurt you
won’t even tell you his last name

boy,
you lost the right to anonymity when you took me to bed &
used my first name like a curse word
like you yourself named me
boy,
you told me I’m still a hot little thing
as if I was worried bout what you thought in the first place

boy,
you told me it was best that I leave
told me maybe after we get to know each other we can try again
as if I was begging you for mercy
begging you to let me stay

boy,
not knowing you wasn’t the problem
knowing your touch,
your kiss
was the problem
you told me your story but
when I said that I do not even know your last name
you said its best that way
why are you hiding,
boy?

you asked what we are doing here
as if it weren’t already clear
you were really asking me bout what I am not doing

Boy,
I missed the signs
of you walking in front of me and waving me over
waving me out
of you kissing me like theres a timer around my neck
like there wasn't someone on the other side trying to kiss you back

boy,
I do not wish to see you again
If I see you I will tell you my last name