Leigh Marie Nov 2017

I spend hours trying to understand
why you still care
when I should address why I do, instead
I don't think bout you often anymore
But when I do, I think bout how i hope you can't get my smile out of your head, that you wonder how I am

But most days, I wish that you hit every red light on the way to class
that you forget your phone charger at home and your iphone dies halway through your three hour lecture,
on a Monday,
at 9 am

Some days, I hope that the left bud of your headphones break
that all your lays chips are crushed, even though the bag is all air and no potato

I rarely think of you, but when I do, I hope that you lose your last guitar pick
and your brother leaves your aux cord at home,
again

I hope that all of your mac and cheese is just a little to watery and that you lose all of your left socks

On the days I think of you, I wish you uneven laces
and rain on your birthday

I wish you a hole in the crotch your favorite pants and
the parking spot furthest from the entrance

I hope only radio commercials for tampons
and a brain freeze

I wish you forget the last page of your paper in the printer
I wish you forget me

I wish you lose my number
and hope you lose the desire to text me, again

cause maybe if you forget it will be easier for me too
and I won't have to wish you bloody noses and a really big hang nail anymore

after Dry Cake Wishes and Tap Water Dreams by Rachel Wiley
Leigh Marie Nov 2017

maybe its that I'm not meant to forget you forever

  Oct 2017 Leigh Marie
Temporal Fugue

Help me to understand why
the absence of love
hurts

Distance makes the heart grow fonder :)
Leigh Marie Oct 2017

It took me 17 years to finally meet you and 344 days to finally forget you
It took me 1 night to fall in love with you and 2 mistakes for our hearts to be broken
I felt like we were made for eachother
Like everything happened as it should be as if we were born already in love
My soulmate
We liked the same poems and preferred the same songs
We always laughed together
It seemed so logical it seemed so intelligible
So easy to intellectualize
It was obvious you were my destiny
Till destiny took you away till you ran away till you slept with her till you stayed with her
Every "I'm not ready for a relationship" is a "I'm not ready for you" is a "I don't want you" why couldn't I accept that
Why couldn't you accept that why couldn't you stay away
You come back sporadically
Come back long enough to remind me that you're still there
But she's still there with you

I am long gone
I have sat across from other dark eyes and laughed
I have connected with our men have kissed other men
See I can leave you like you left me
Like he left me
Like my dad left me

Don't know if these new eyes will stay with me or run like you did
Don't know if he feels the chemistry between us if he skipped as he walked away like I did
If he told his friends about me like I did
He reminded me of the first time
Of my first time in love
Of falling in love blindly unaware
I feel the opportunity of forever but don't think I am worth it
Don't think he thinks I'm worth it
I don't think he thinks of me
Maybe he isn't worth it
But I know he is I can't stop running
Can't stop hiding
Last time I put my neck out I nearly drowned
You nearly drowned
Don't want him to drown me again like you did
But I'm already falling
Blindly
Unaware

Leigh Marie Sep 2017

still haven't found anyone like you
but I doubt you've found anyone
like me

we might not write bout each other or to each other anymore
but we'll always be bound to each other

The world is still mine
even if you aren't

Leigh Marie Aug 2017

outa sight outa mind I haven't missed you in a while cause
damn things have changed
no more hoping or wishing or thinking bout you
you haven't called me in over a year
you been with her for over a year
but then you come back even just for a second and I
wanna tell you everything you've been missing
how I've seen the world and found my passions
how I've laughed and cried and grown without you
the books I've read
the people I've met
wanna share them with you
wanna share you with them
but you'll be gone before I can
utter the words
before I can ask how you are
before you can ask how I am
you dance in and out
using poetry as your vessel to remind me of what we share
our mutual existence in this crazy world
our coexistence
back for a second you'll be gone for a minute
I miss you already
I've forgotten you again

Leigh Marie Jun 2017

He don't leave me smiling like you did
But then again you left me crying too
Maybe he'll at least spare me the heartache

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