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Merry Mar 2018
You're not even listening to me
But that's okay
I just need it up in the air

It's just...
Do you know already?
Or do you no longer care?

I don't have a lot on my mind
I don't have a lot in my life
I just need to give you a small tear

How you treat me
How you treat others
It's not fair
Merry Dec 2018
There are lovebirds in the church
And the eyes of God in the wood
Red-breasted and swollen
Things deteriorate as they do
Timber to rot
Love to hate
Yet they still neck
Amid the pews
Because blessed are they
Who *** in the name of the Lord
Merry Mar 2018
Write me a love letter
I’m sick of falling in love
I want to be adored
I’m sick of writing love letters
That never get read
I’m sick of adoring others
Just once, please,
May I be the one to read
Rather than write
Merry Feb 2018
Lovers Lane is a dead-end road
She’s got a name like heaven
An angel on an Ouija board
She’s a diamond in the sky
Merry Aug 2018
Birds croon in the sky
Fearsome claws stabbing
Ornithophobia
Merry Mar 2018
Anthomancy
Arithmancy
Auramancy
Bibliomancy
Botanomancy
Capnomancy
Cartomancy
Cryptomancy
Dictio­mancy
Grammomancy
Hypnomancy
Ichnomancy
Knissomancy
Lithomancy
Lunamancy
Macharomancy
Micromancy
Necromancy
Nephomancy
Numismatomancy
Oneiromancy
Pallomancy
Rhapsodomancy
Shufflemancy­
Stareomancy
Symbolomancy
Theomancy
Xylomancy
Aren't these words so fancy?
Merry Jul 2018
Make love to the monsters under my bed
Hear the moans of the waking dead
I miss my scary dreams
Horrors, terrors, and screams
Instead I hear enigmatic speech
From a ghost, beyond a breach
Of sadness and sourness
Merry Sep 2018
Scant trace of red moon
A **** dripping blood and stars
Airy smell of smoke
Merry Feb 2018
Ain’t got no rhythm
Ain’t got no guitar
Ain’t got no melody
But I do got you
And I say we dance
Look like fools
Love like fools
Merry Jul 2018
Bittersweet butterscotch summers
Beachside with you
Seasalt caramel evenings with beer
So saccharine sweet

Baby, please break my heart
Chocolate mint biscuits
Break easier than my heart
I’m a lolly shop of love
And I thought I had the flavour
You would take upon your mouth
But I was wrong

Take my feelings
Snap them like honeycomb shards
I know you can do it
Nothing tastes sweet for me anymore
Please, I’m sick of stirring batter
That I cannot bake

I’m choking on bitter almonds
But I would never feed you
Cinnamon cyanide cupcakes
Take a drink from my angel cake cup
Honey lemon tea from me
Or drop the tea cup on the floor

Burn my dulcet agony
Or listen to the tick-tock timer
Because I want to close up shop
Break my candy heart
Between your teeth,
My bubblegum boy, and burst your bubble
Or kiss me with your laffy-taffy lips

Sweet temptation
And sweeter bliss
With this power over me
The choice is yours
But please, break my heart,
My sweet heart
Merry Apr 2018
The shadow in the dark
The stranger in the night
Footsteps in the grass
Dew disturbed

Wishing, praying,
I am his prey
Hiding and hoping
That he, the predator,
Does not find my naive den

Like a body in a tomb,
I wait for sunlight
To pierce the night
And free me from the darkness

Time is fluid
When you're afraid
Hours are minutes
As you count your blessings
And not your seconds

Does he mean me harm?
Or is he imagined?
Merry Oct 2022
We watch it ache and screech,
Tortured for some mercy in its misery,
We’re not allowed to wring its neck
All because the law can love a crow

Every time I mention its pain,
I get scolded. Chastised. Reminded.
This is farming country: and no one loves a crow
They eat the eyes of helpless, newborn lambs
All because farming country loves a lamb
Especially one they can eat themselves

The call on the phone goes nowhere,
Just like that now flightless, punished bird,
Concerns dismissed by automated machines,
No one bothers to come after the tone,
All because no one loves a crow.
its been a while since I last wrote a poem, I think this was a pretty good reentry into the format
Merry Aug 2018
I like to write poems about no one
Because no one means a lot to me
But the sun’s in my eye
At four in the afternoon against a blue sky
In the passenger seat of your car
And I think about how far I’ve come
I think to myself, you’re my no one

You tell me your just another face in the crowd
But your face is all that I can think about

Cold and controversial,
Or so you tell me
But you tell me I’m on in a million
A genuine kind of girl

I can’t believe its been a year
Since I was last in your car
In the passenger seat
I can drive on my own now
And now you’re just some boy
That I used to like
A Mister No One In Particular
Whom I miss
Because I write poems about no one
Who means a lot to me
Merry Jul 2018
Ocean Girl, take me to the beach
Let's get away and feel the sway
Of the breeze, Ocean Girl,
Please show me the world
Merry Jul 2020
A star-crossed son was born
To the father whom he would ****
And to the mother whom he would kiss
In incestuous, marital vow one day

Welts upon his feet
Found in the forest, a baby crying,
He grew wise and wrong
Unaware of a conspired world

When Oracles did speak to him
As drunken men and and as pretty women
He took their words upon his heart
Without eyes gouged and necks broken

Open eyes looking, truly seeing,
He did bear the revolting truth
Without nary complaint
To the Gods who cursed him

Thus, it was Laius who lived
And it was Polybus who died
And it was Jocasta who did not see
Her son at the bejewelled altar

Rather, it was Merope, with her head turned,
Who saw dear Oedipus at the altar
Obeying the Will of the Gods
But to what ends?

He was meant to punish; to defy; to incite all evils
Not adhere to this cruel destiny
And now it is the wrong mother-wife
Whom he kisses, unravelling, in linen sheets
anyone else wonder about what would happen to these characters' fates had Oedipus obeyed his fate? it wouldn't work, of course, because Laius had to be punished but still. I'm curious.
Merry Apr 2018
Coarse as silk
Rotten as milk
Sour as honey
Useless as money
I only have
Love unto you
Merry Mar 2019
Get your politics from a roadside
And your pit stone fruits and honey, too
You didn’t raise your kids right
So, I won’t vote for you
Merry Mar 2018
The girl with fluorescent eyes
She wears neon dyes
She tells me kaleidoscope lies
About being in love with me
About being love with love
Merry Aug 2019
I heard once this dumb joke
About acid taken by some bloke
And how he had a wild, wild trip
Saying that he liked long walks
On the beautiful beach
With his beautiful girlfriend
Until he finally sobered up
And was dragging a stolen mannequin
Around some three am parking lot
But that sounds pretty ideal to me
A mannequin girlrfriend
All smiles and no curves
With arms that don’t bend
And parts which are all smooth
For me to grind and groove against
Licking, *******, *******…
She sounds plastic perfect
Anyways, her name is Delores
And she likes to wear florals
Poe
Merry Mar 2018
Poe
I’m like a knock-off Edgar Allen Poe
But instead of raving about a raven
I croon about a crow
Who comes a-fluttering
And I start my muttering
About I do not need savin’
Merry Mar 2018
According to William Shakespeare,
Poor Tom had wits
And was witless
All whilst in disguise

According to David Bowie,
Major Tom left our blue Earth
And got lost amongst the stars
Becoming the titular Space Oddity

According to Led Zeppelin
Poor Tom was the seventh son
He led a life of work and play
But killed his ***** wife

According to The Cab
Major Tom would sing along
Whilst chastising the dreamer
Or, perhaps, seeing himself in young love

According to all these men
This muse man named Poor Tom
This muse man named Major Tom
All suffered an ill fate

According to I,
Arrogant poetess,
I pose a pondering:
What if they were all the same person?
Merry Apr 2018
**** the future
The present has me tense
The past is post present
Today is tomorrow
And yesterday is yesterday
Merry May 2018
He gives me a rose
As he talks in purple rose
In water, we dip our toes
Merry Sep 2019
She’s the spider on your shoulder
Holding you, cold and tight
She’s all eyes, slitted blue,
And the longest legs you’ve ever seen
With flaming locks of orange
Which burn brighter than the embers
Of bridges she’s destroyed in arson
And when she smiles, corner to wicked corner,
It’s not hallowed beeswax on her lips
Which gives them that crimson hue
She’s slow and steady wins the race
That your pounding heart
Is susceptible to losing to
Saccharine sweet with a smile to boot
She will have you licking hers
Steeped in honey, polite and courteous,
She spins you into her silken web
Not even of lies, but you fumble regardless
And then she eats you whole
Merry Mar 2018
Red-Haired Woman I admire her
Red-Haired Woman got a mind of her own
But Red-Haired Woman got to learn to mind her own
Not everyone takes as kindly to your words
As kindly as I do
And even then, I raise doubt
Just like I raise the ace of cups

Pale as a vampire
Dressed in inappropriate funeral attire
She’s a killer queen
But not in practice
She keeps her Passion Pop
In her pretty hands with charcoal claws
Strangling the bottle’s neck
Whilst she drinks the nectar

She wears art decade black sunglasses
I see the world
Through rosy kaleidoscope lenses
I dream of marmalade skies
She speaks of vicious lies
Which might be true
But I have not a clue
I very much hope
That they are not

Because whilst I may take her words kindly
Without the slightest hint of salt
I trust that she is forever sweet
For her eyes glitter with justice
As she tells me these things
About the life I’ve led
Next to hers

I don’t want them to be true
Because if they are true
It would mean
I have not led
A life of marmalade skies
And of marshmallow pies
It would mean
That the roses I see
Are thorned after all
That the lilies I see
Adorn the funeral
Are toxic after all

Red-Haired Woman, I admire you
You're strong
And courageous
With flaming red hair
And eyes of sapphire blue
With spidery lashes of thick mascara
You do not die without a challenge
The world would be worse without you
And for that, I thank you
Merry Aug 2019
They say only the good die young
I don't think that's quite right
Unless I'm more rotten than you
Your lungs were polluted
Your legs were open
And yet it was your casket
Which closed first
Merry Feb 2018
With a name like Ruth
You know she’s a babe
Kickstart her heart
And she’ll tear you apart

Old in spirit
Young in body
***** and dusty
A compact, unclean model

Buzz-box motor
Straight down a highway
She’s got sixty horse power
She’s bucking bronco wild

Guzzling gasoline
Rocks out to old school rock’n’roll
She’s a Saturday night special
With a hippie ***** stamp

Jealousy rips up the road
And now I’m in a rage
But it ain’t her fault
I’m just materialistic

Miniature but mighty,
I don’t take her lightly
And I don’t know if it’s likely,
But I want that Ruthie to be mine
Sea
Merry May 2018
Sea
Like a drowning painter
In the treacherous depths
With oil paints, thick and rolling,
On a soggy canvas
Painting the sea
Your presence swells
And I paint you
Drowning me
Merry May 2018
My old loves died
In the springtime
My new loves died
In the summertime
Merry Jul 2020
Diamonds shine, yes, that's true
But so does sunshine off a shoe
So does cheaper glitter
And the pristine fangs of a critter
And holographic paper
You're not special
You're just a lie
found this in my drafts. no idea when i wrote it.
Merry Feb 2018
Face as pale as snow, hair like ebony, and lips red;
Red as the blood pricked from the dainty finger which bled
From the waters of a treacherous womb, the fairest one of all was born
To compassionate father, the King, and wicked *****, the Queen; forlorn
By the news from mystic mirrors vile with dark knowledge, the fairest one of all
She would be the one to rule them all beneath a gentle rule; herald of the Queen’s fall.

Though the insidious murmurs of her Mirror, upset the Queen, she did not remain
“Forlorn” for long. No, she used the time to gather magics, beneath the sane
Façade and the façade of tears when it became known the King had died
Her daughter, grown to ten and four years, to be moved off of her head
Then the Queen, the Queen alone, would have beauty and power.
To her throne room, did the Queen invite a Huntsman upon the hour
In which was meant to mourn the good man’s loss
The soul of the King immortalised in bronze wherein sickly moss
Did grow, a dour shawl that did crawl around his eyes
Much like his mistress who for fourteen years did feed him arsenic and lies.

“Take her heart so I may feast upon it; proof of her death,” did instruct the Queen
Unto her henchman, the Huntsman, she did instruct and he left. The sheen
Of determination emanated from him, illuminating his understanding that would turn.
Into the forest, he did chase the Princess until he cornered her; looming over her,
Her beauty sing sweet sorrow upon whimpering lips and a charismatic curse
Was laid upon the huntsman’s eyes
And from that, he could take no lives
So, he felled a boar and fed the heart to the Queen.
But the flesh upon her tongue, it did not taste it ought to mean.

The Princess fled further into the forest and happened upon a melancholic hut
That housed seven dwarves, wary folk at first but
Upon hearing the Princess’ begging, they let her stay and for them,
She cleaned their abode and once cleaned, the Huntsman’s deception came clean also
And so, the Queen grew vengeful and spurned a deep spell to **** her daughter, so
She travelled into the forest and disguised herself with the clothes of hags
A poor, poor hag in need of money – money for an apple red as blood
The Princess, fooled and compassionate, took from a hand with rancid skin that sags.

A single, crisp bite was all it took for the Princess with lips of blood and face of snow
To perish, from her hand the poisoned apple withered and in a glass box the dwarves laid
Her to rest, her final rest, and from her porcelain hand the apple tumbled,
And with that echoic fall, the Queen rose once more: beauty, fame, power: she has it all.

And for the existence of such a miraculous corpse to prove true, rumour became myth
And myth inspired Prince to go out and search for the truth clouded in mist
Within a deep, damp forest run foul with monstrous foliage, the Prince found her
He found her with the one of ivory face and scarlet lips; hair in inky curls
From her glass casket, he removed the lid and his decency; assailed by
The perfume of ever youthful flowers, he leaned down next to her and with a gentle lie
He told himself she was asleep. That’s all she was: a peaceful, deathly sleep;
And upon those perk, scarlet lips, he gave her a kiss that was deep.

Tongue within her cold, rotting mouth.
He kissed her and he kissed her thorough, hoping his warm breath would breathe life
Into this long-dead corpse; perfect as though blood remained in motion in her vein
But from her glass coffin, the Princess did not stir so the Prince’s ghastly act was in vain
With the back of his hand, he smeared her memory and the myth remained myth.

The poor Princess was laid to her rest, her final rest, in a glass coffin; a perfect corpse
A corpse that did not wither;
A corpse with blood red lips, hair of ebony, and skin snow white.
Inspired by the work of Edgar Allen Poe
Merry Feb 2018
Chasing dangerous clouds
Down a dangerous road
Twilight hath come
As has the storm
I grip onto the steering wheel
Knuckles turning white
I chase a hallowed and holy love
On a replaceable summer evening
Merry Jul 2018
The stranger on the street is scary
The stranger behind a tree is scarier
The stranger whom we do not see
Is scariest
Merry Sep 2018
I only think in the form
Of paint by numbers
Guided by the animatronic hand
Of those who create us
And prevent us from
Rising up against the system
And colouring outside the line
Merry Sep 2018
Gasoline pleasure becomes something more
Taboo regret with numb laughter
Pretty face with flirting eyes
You’re afraid of falling in love
Of broken hearts and broken touches
Because that’s what it means
To be a Mary Jane teenager
Merry May 2018
Television taught me to talk
Now I don't know how to walk
Unless I'm in high heels

Fed a pop culture diet
I don't know why,
But I think you should try it

Cruising around
In a Chevrolet limousine
Flicking through
The pages of a magazine

Silver screen beauty queen
Cult classic with a classic colt
Shooting up in the pictures
Truth and fiction in the lyrical mixtures

Televised script gone viral
High roller girl in an upward spiral
It's a glamorous soundtrack life
With a soulless soundtrack laugh

Television has all the appeal
So now I don't know how to feel
Nothing feels real
Because I don't know
What real is beyond the reel
I recited this poem at a poetry slam the other night... I didn't place and I disagree with who they instated as second and third but, whatever.
Merry Mar 2018
Rock’n’roll radio died
Between gasoline riffs
I love Texan poker
She smiled with classic liquors
Realise that I want your lips
Gamble success where strangers bleed
Roadside taboo
Lay bare, please,
I want to give you one hot date
Merry Mar 2018
I take the corner too sharp
In my silver chariot
A canopy of stars
Above my head:
Illusory stardom
Conquests
Illusions of what’s to come
My head spins,
But I’m in control

High voltage chaotic energy
A live wire reverie,
Riding cool,
Living like a fool,
Freedom tastes sweet
Even in the salty heat

Like a lion in the light
I’m fierce and ready to fight
Around and around we go
An aggressive game of tick-tack-toe
Hit ‘em high and hit ‘em low
Willpower, square,
Is all that’s left,
As I steer right
But it’s all wrong
Spiritual transformation
I alchemise the feelings

They say if you can crawl
Then you can walk
And if you can walk
Then you can run
And if you can run
Then you can go
But I can’t.

I’m losing all control
Reckless determination
Causes the assertion
Of loss
Causes the termination
Of victory
Merry Feb 2018
The withered, old man in the dark,
The one they call The Hermit
By the silver moonlight, he wanders through
The night ever so thick with pervading questions, but hark,
He knows the answer; or will by dawn permit
Of his guiding light, by the endearing coo
As sung by birds; his only companions in this everlasting night
He will soon find answers that are ever so bright

Under this card’s influence,
You will seek to be yourself so you may follow the star
Of your own path to find enlightenment
By the lantern light, a mysterious sort of loneliness
It will take you near, it will take you far
Until all paths converge and the deliberation of judgement
Will take place
And you will find the face
Of all you need to know
And how you ought to place your pawns next; where you ought to go

I’ve often been called a pariah;
An odd little sweetie who thinks higher
Instead I watch on the outsider and grow bitter
As I wander, as I wonder, beneath night time glitter
Of the stars and moon and shine that I stroll through,
Once I emerge from my eternal night time, what will be new?
Will I have purpose or will I have pointlessly withdrawn?
If I emerge from my solitude at all, of course
There is the chance of no change upon
My body, my mind, my vitality’s force

Grown weak with questions,
My latest obsessions
There is no meaning
Not until I disturb the silence
And allow daylight gleaming
And other’s reliance
Into my pathetic excuse of a life
Merry Mar 2019
Honk if you’ve seen Jesus
Elvis Presley died for your sins
Doesn’t matter who you worship
The King loves you
Merry Jul 2020
I watch as my Father
Makes tea for my Grandfather
(His Father-In-Law)
He removes the lid off the mug,
The hot water, inside it, once sealed,
He dabs the tea bag, it bounces, splashing,
He tears open the two sachets of sugar
Pours and mixes it all in (with no milk)
My Father has stubby, tradie fingers,
Watching them do such delicate work is odd
Then the tea sits in its plastic, blue mug
No one says a word.
Not I; not either of these men;
The tea is cooling, steaming,
We all watch, eyes intent and stern,
For a moment, the tea is sacred, holy,
A communion
Between a middle aged Catholic and an old atheist
Then, finally, this tea, horrid tasting, I imagine,
Is taken by the handle with a trembling hand
And it is sipped by trembling lips
Merry Sep 2018
Dear slender Aphrodite,
I have ne’er been overcome
With passionate, ****** longing
But I have felt the pursuit of the hunt
By Aries in Venus;
The child playing all is fair in love and war
But not a longing to disrupt
The weaving of thine words

“Do people really fall in love?”
Crooned the eccentric philosopher
David Byrne in hypnotic hymn
And in prismatic, psychedelic psalm
Avant-garde, aromantic heart
Expressions and impressions
That have etched upon my body
And become the truth that I accept

I have tasted the sweet of peaches
And I have felt the scalding of the sea
Lost in thought; all alone, but content
Yet the conclusions all draw back
To dulcet childhoods unfettered
By the snickering and abnormalities
That is infatuation ****** upon thee

“Raise boys and girls the same way”,
Jenny Holzer informed those in her bold dialogues
From commercial, photographic anonymity
But it is I, in gentle and embarrassed whimper,
Who would like to beseech of you
In sunny, platonic gesture
Tell boys and girls
They can be friends
Without it turning to wretched love
I wrote this for an assessment and got a distinction it.
Merry Feb 2018
There is divinity in these cards
Shuffled by my uncertain hands
In search of something more in lands
Wherein dreams are true and guards
Knowledge unseen
By those unwilling to convene

I am the centrepiece of conversation
Mysticism upon a table laced
A spread of dealt cards spaced
Across a rotation
Of images and mysteries and clues
Which together will create a fuse;
A circus of circuitry which makes sense
To me but others find to be nonsense

There is a sound
Not unlike white noise
Sometimes words can be found
Other times words are destroyed
But it’s pleasant
By the grace of the omnipresent

The inked-on paper reveal of fate
A message by all which is ethereal
A message by all which is celestial
An ever-changing future
An ever happening present
A never changing past

A crucifix shadow hangs upon the light
Captured in awe before my line of sight
But of the shadowy Moon?
One may presume beauty and serenity
But that is not the truth
Illusions and anxiety
The subconscious and insecurity
Fears and the release of fears
Unhappiness and confusion

By dreams and intuition, I ponder questions
Yearning for suggestions
What may come to my life so soon:
What is next to the Moon?
I love AC/DC
Merry Feb 2018
At the world’s edge,
Upon a steep ledge,
I must ask the everchanging blue:
Why must I fall in love with them?

Whereupon, I break bread
With my enemies
I must ask the everchanging red:
Why must I fall in love with them?

Again, and again,
It is a dinner that ever ends
It’s the common place of disaster
A comedy of manners
Drenched in sinister designs
Beyond the grinds
Of my understanding
Of the world

It’s the Theatre of the Deranged
Laughter
So much laughter
And I don’t know what they’re after
I’m the jester
Without a wry disguise
Cleverness beneath comedic idiocy
I’m the fool
In this Theatre of the Deranged

Discussions at a lopsided table
Where only those who obey the master
May talk – all else must listen
To her, to her, to her!
Gorged on foods
I never wanted
There is nothing sweet
Left for me to eat

Mouth sealed shut
Except to laugh
But there’s nothing funny
When you’re the joke
That’s gone on too long
But the party is far from over
When you’re the court jester
To the Queen who rules the world
To the King who rules the world
To the Jack who rules the world
To the Ace who rules the world
To the suit who rules the world
To the world who rules the world

To the monarchs who uphold
The declarations of entertainment
And attend the gathering
At the edge of the world
Adorned with velvet curtains
And velvet lies
In a swirling and everchanging
Red and blue
Known only as
The Theatre of the Deranged
Merry Feb 2018
Comedy or tragedy?
It’s the entertainment of death
You’ll laugh, you’ll cry
You’ll live, you’ll die
Either way, who is to say?
Either way, bet on your guess

Four points on a circle
Spin the wheel
It won’t feel real
It will get you sick
So, take your pick
Fortune is yours to make
It is yours to take

Life is a casino
You’re playing poker
Like they do in Texas
Hold ‘em, fold ‘em,
Hit ‘em, bid on ‘em,
Play pentacles
Then the cards with cups
But someone just yelled *******
And the guy across from you
Just bet all on blue
Time to go round two

**** the dealer
Dance with the Devil
Kiss coincidence
Flirt with fate
Lady Luck might notice you yet

Red or black
Get something back
Double or nothing
Best your blessings
Cut your wins
And count your losses

Until the final game
Comes down to good luck,
Bad luck,
Or something beyond control
Bet on black to start
Then go straight for the heart
I love Motley Crue.
Merry Feb 2018
My first love did not take me by the hand but rather by the ear
He was a ghostly music man who sang of sweet violence
He would chide and chide again of my innocence, my ignorance, my insolence
Through ghastly and grief-ridden streets, he would lead me here.

My first love was my first enemy though,
Gnashing teeth and pointed tongues lashing upon each other
For long time come, this hatred and distaste would not fade low
Forever in stinging words but there was change soon, a change to bid him my lover.

First breach of a tiled, misty dream, he has earned no right to my mind’s unreality
Again and again, his visage haunts my most inner eye
Second breach of a buzzing, glitzy dream, it has become a wish of reality,
Strange and unsettling, distorted and pale; a most convincing lie.

Unfair September echoes in my heart as I reach for his memory
An ethereal grip on a hand that is no longer there; belonging to a beachside now
How I long for a scent or touch of remembrance of him upon me
Practically lands away from him, fog kissed hills of the girth realm glower.

We are but fools in divided courts: winter and summer
Belonging more to each other than the seasons of those who divide us
We hail to ourselves and each other, giving bitter thanks to our monarchs in murmur
Dangling upon a cliffside, will we or won’t we? There is no try, only lust.

I long for a simple kind of closure.
Wherein grief does not desecrate the faded memories if once happy folk, now ghosts
I long for a battening down of cross-hatches of emotions and composure
Wherein tears do not tear away the ghosts in my mind where dwells my sacred host.

Confusion burgeons and blossoms in my mind
Excess of people draw close to me but there is only one for the companionship I seek
Do I love him, do I wish to make him mine?
Through embarassing lovelorn writings, at my own heart I dare to peek.

My first love was a ghostly music man, forever marching off unto paths that wind.
By my ear, he would lead me heavy as lead
Through untold streets where grief was forever upon mankind
Through streets that did not exist, only in song, only upon my lips and in said.
Merry Feb 2018
You may silence me but the air will still know
My voice, even gagged, has shaken the air
With my ideas, I have displaced all the particles around us and it will show
Every breath you take, you inhale my thoughts but you do not care
You do not seethe as you are unaware of my feelings towards you
But I? I am rife with conflict as I destroy myself to appease you

My lungs wither inside my chest
But you breathe deeper still
My pulse races without rest
Much like my mind which will
Forever pulse with ideas you will not like
Every push of blood and breath within me
Is a glimpse of my psyche
And it is there, you will find the disrupted waters of body’s sea

Deep, dark
An eternity and a half
Self-hatred swims through my sea like a shark
Though I cannot breathe or move, I laugh
Tranquillity of displaced hatred fills my veins
As I wish to be more like you
As I wish to be nothing like you

I liken myself to a weather vane
Battered every which way because I can understand why
I can understand why you should hate me; why you would hate me
I can’t help but wonder what it would be like
To tell you
To tell you that I hate you
But I will not allow you to have such wretched influence over me
I will sink into my own sea
And it will not be out of despair
I will allow the waters of change to bathe me
But rather out of a prayer
In which the deep, dark waters of the sea
Will show me the light
And to the surface, I will return, drowned and a fright

Dearest companion in my most darkened thoughts
When I look within myself and wonder if I am worthless
It is your voice which can see all sorts
Of reasons as to why I ought to be left mirthless
For I am a silly, little girl
Stupidity and idiocy
With no wisdom imbued in even the tiniest pearl
I am less than swine
Whenever I give you the time
And let you fill my mind

I don’t know much
But you know more than I could ever
And with searing, reeking breath that I will show you how I am clever
There is something that you do not know much
You do not know of me and my intelligence
Which you use the metre sticks of mathematics and beyond
But I know the elements
Of myself and to your taunts, I shall respond

I liken myself to a weather vane
Battered every which way because I can understand why
I can understand why you should hate me; why you would hate me
I can’t help but wonder what it would be like
To tell you
To tell you that I hate you
But I will not allow you to have such wretched influence over me
I will sink into my own sea
And will not be out of despair
I will allow the waters of change to bathe me
But rather out of a prayer
In which the deep, dark waters of the sea
Will show me the light
And to the surface I will return, drowned and a fright

You killed a part of me; all of me
However, from that lifeless body I did resurrect
And now my ghost will take its business elsewhere
A lost soul without any good value that anyone could see
Anyone but me for you have me wrecked
And I shall be the goddess who answers my own prayer
And you shall be the enemy that I slay
And with your blood on my hands, I will weigh
My own worth
Against the mirth
You ripped from my heart
When you took me apart
Piece by piece
I will find my new peace

Now it is your voice which shakes the air
Now it is you who disturbs the particles
But I am unaffected because the despair that is your lair
Is not the home I keep; not anymore
Merry Jul 2018
The Black Swan enchants the funeral march
Dancing on a mirror
I stand and watch from the mire
She is elegance and grace

The White Swan dispels the misery
With arrogance dire
He spreads his wings
And unfurls his lies

He speaks of heaven and paradise
Whilst black feathers condemned
To brimstone and hellfire
For death is evil

But the Black Swan
She dances on
The natural course of life
Is unto death, after all

I step onto the lake
Sinking into the aching feelings
With mud and water at my ankles
I stare out into the abyss

The swans dance
Like ballerinas
Eternal
And I break the mirror

Clean, pristine and without error
The still water breaks
Ripples and ripples
Natural discordance in the halcylon realm

I turn my back
On the funeral march
The dreary procession
Ignoring black wings

I turn myself
Onto the dancer before me
She smiles, serene,
And offers condolences

The Black Swan
And the White Swan
Continue their dance
And I continue my staring
Merry Jul 2018
I’ve never been in movies
I’ve never shouted from on top of a roof
I’ve never had a dream come true
I’ve never had a wish come true

I’ve never been kissed
I’ve never been in love
I’ve never had a boyfriend
I’ve never had a girlfriend

I’ve never had to work a day in my life
I’ve never been rich
I’ve never been broke
I’ve never had an ambition

But I’m gonna get there
I’m gonna hold someone’s hand
I’m gonna scream from the roof tops
I’m gonna have a wish come true
I’m gonna fall in love
I’m gonna be someone

I’ve never had a life before
I’ve got one shot
I may as well
Try and be someone interesting
Merry Jul 2018
The humble apple
Is the fruit of fate
The reward for those
Who have rebelled
And for those who loved

Your love of knowledge
Is the requirement
Of my hatred
Of both you
And myself

If I was to bite into
An apple
Red, crisp, delicious
Would you believe
My love or my hate?

Regardless, I believe in my fate
Which is to somehow rise above
Petty things like the material
And to submerse myself in the immaterial
A platonic difference
I understand
Like I understand my dreams
Indistinct, wavering, but not forgotten

Therefore, I assert
That if any of us
Should take the forbidden fruit of Eden
It should be me
For my heart
Is fit to break
And my hatred
Is deep-seated
I'm quite fond of the motifs in Kunihiko Ikuhara's work
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