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Jan 2019 · 218
Virginia Kasmi Jan 2019
I sit at the kitchen table
as i sip my morning coffee.
The silence screams so loud,
it makes my ears blead.
The unresolved feelings i carry in my bones
play string quartet.
I wrap my arms around me
trying to hold together all my looming shadows.
I want to prevent chaos
yet, it is the only peace of beauty left in me.
I fill my lungs with pleasure
and shout into the hazy den of oblivion.
Oct 2018 · 240
Flirting with disaster
Virginia Kasmi Oct 2018
The way your cherry red lips curve,
And form that smile like pearl white Caribbean shores.
How your touch feels like sunbathing in the French Riviera.
Your eyes like gardens in early spring,
Inviting me to get lost in eternal labyrinths.
Your soft skin like vanilla ice-cream,
Warm like scented candles.
You, me...Us.
It feels like flirting with disaster,
It feels like going down a metal slide
On a hot summer day,
But baby,
you know I like to get burned.
Sep 2018 · 314
Full glasses, empty hearts
Virginia Kasmi Sep 2018
We sit across each-other in our favorite bar,
discussing if the glass is half empty or half full.
But darling, we seem to not be able to realize,
that the empty ones are we,
trying to fill the void with whiskey and coke.
We pour sparkling wine into our hearts,
just so we can pretend we are not broken.
We sip until our head starts spinning,
giving us courage to finally go home.
The cab driver turns up the music,
so he won’t hear us kissing on the backseat.
But our thoughts are even louder.
We press our naked bodies against cold mirrors,
because it is the only way we can give each-other goosebumps.
Exhaling sharply we melt down on the hard ground.
We hug so tight, our bodies form the most komplex knot while we cry our pain out.
Aug 2018 · 826
A thought of ecstasy
Virginia Kasmi Aug 2018
You are the burn of a paper cut,
on my highly sensitive skin.
A sharp pain, a quickly drawn ****** line.

You are the cold of a brain freeze,
on a hot summer day.
A few seconds of a heart on fire and a mind on ice.

You are the slams of my heart against my ribs.
Irregular, too fast, breathtaking.

And yet you are the ecstasy of my thoughts.
A trigger of uncontrolled feelings,
a spread of joy.
And I want more, and more, and more.
Jul 2018 · 256
Ink me
Virginia Kasmi Jul 2018
Draw me in lines and shades,
Blue pen on blank pages.
Paint me on your skin,
All colorful swirls and edgy shapes.
Feel me with every puncture,
In and out on your chest.
Moan with me when you can’t tell,
If it’s pleasure or painful as hell.
Cage me in the lust of the flesh,
Tattoo me with the ink of your heart.
Jun 2018 · 423
Nights we felt alive
Virginia Kasmi Jun 2018
Brown and blue never really matched,
Until yet, when our eyes first met.
I rise my glass and whisper,
To our first times, please take me back.
To the night our bodies were
pushed together,
And my lipstick was all over your neck.
Let’s race back,
To nights full of desire,
Screaming „I love you“
As we set sheets on fire.
Take my hand
And let’s give up on freedom
Instead we can destroy each - other
Again and again and agian.
Jun 2018 · 349
Virginia Kasmi Jun 2018
I walk down the empty streets
Right before the sun rises,
Dark shades disappear,
Baby blue hope
Cracks the never ending horizon.
I breath spring flowers
and shy gold-backed sunbeams.
I dance with the wind
and I race with the clouds.
I am not afraid of my shadow,
I am not a stranger in my own mind.
May 2018 · 201
Teach me...
Virginia Kasmi May 2018
I stare at my reflection and recognize,
All the things I used to hate about my irrelevant being.
Pale skin and freckled cheeks.
I see my self at the age of 7,
Applying thick layers of lotion on my skin.
Hopping they would disappear.
I smile as I take a look
At my fun-sized body.
Walking in my mothers heels
When she wasn’t home.
Hopping someday I would grow.
I get closer and gaze into my eyes.
Crazy shaking, boring brown.
I used to draw my self,
Wanting still watery eyes.
I spot the scars on my skin,
Trying to hide them under my skirt on my first date.
I am mid twenties now,
And I stare at my reflection.
I recognize my father in my freckles,
I feel 153cm of fun in my body,
I see sunlight
Written pages in my eyes.
I relive memories with every scar.
I learned to love,
But please teach me now...
How to love the growing pain
And my deeply scared soul.
How to love the drunk girl
In ***** clubs.
How to love the person,
I try to bury every night.
May 2018 · 233
Virginia Kasmi May 2018
Bombay gin
lemon twists.
White shirts
blue lights.
Liquid joy
Sparkling tears.
Vibrant bodies
Violet skies.
Cherry lips
Sandy shoes.
Naked skin
Juiced kisses.
We are summer breeze
On rocky beaches.
We burn like salt
And ice cubes.
Feb 2018 · 712
Sweet madness
Virginia Kasmi Feb 2018
We were a drunk adventure,
at hotel emergency stairs.
We were cold bodies,
and tropical kisses.
We were exploding techno songs,
and we hit like ecstasy.
We were the calm before the storm,
and the smell after summer rain.
We were flower touch,
and dirtier than martinis.
We were caring friends,
and destructive lovers.
We were oven-like smiles,
and cold beer tears.
We were everything,
and we are empty nothings.
Feb 2018 · 362
Colorful darkness
Virginia Kasmi Feb 2018
You know that space between sleep and awake?
That place where you are thinking,
but not dreaming yet?
Right at that moment, right at that place it hurts the most.
I close my eyes and your silhouette appears at a dark street corner.
I stand next to you and we smoke in silence.
I spot us at Irish pubs drinking beer.
I see us in shapes and colors and lines,
Losing ourselves on crowded dance floors.
I feel your salty skin next to mine,
While whispering promises to each-other.
I follow us while getting lost in sunny unknown cities.
Passing by car lights cracking my thoughts,
I turn around in my empty bed and I want to feel the warmth of youth in a cold set of sheets.
My eyelids get heavy,
I am about to disconnect.
I get anxious as i drift away in the dark abyss of my subconscious.
It’s the place before sleep and awake,
where I love you the most,
but I still lose you when I dream.
Dec 2017 · 433
What if
Virginia Kasmi Dec 2017
22:21 i stand at the train platform,
It’s freezing.
I can’t feel my fingertips.
22:25 light up a cigarette,
I inhale it like warm air.
22:28 silence.
22:44 train finally arrives.
People rushing out, people rushing in.
I search for a dark, uncrowded corner.
22:45 I sit at the window row,
Earphones on.
It’s warm, I feel tired.
Close my eyes, fade away.
23:05 next stop.
I look outside.
A young couple hugging tight.
She grabs her suitcase and looks at him.
He grabs her.
They kiss like crazy.
She points her fingers at the door button.
He pulls her closer.
They seem so sad.
He keeps her in his arms like she is the last hope for happiness.
They kiss again.
23:07 train leaves.
They stand at the platform.
She grabs his hand.
She grabs her suitcase.
They don’t look back just walk straight ahead.
23:08 I can’t see them anymore.
She choose him over maybe everything or nothing.
23:10 I close my eyes again.
All that I can see is ****** written „what if‘s“.
23:15 I ask myself with a broken voice „what if you would have never left“?
Oct 2017 · 809
Virginia Kasmi Oct 2017
I am a great half alive tragedy,
A hole with a body,
A silence with a voice,
A being without the human.
I drag my nails down my skin,
making sure i am still here,
but I still remain a hartbeating nothing.
Until it crashes me,
And my throat gets dry,
And my lungs burn like August sun,
And my heartbeat echoes,
And my stomach feels empty and full at the same time,
And all the tears I‘ve been holding back wet my eyes in just a blink,
And I can hear my heart cracking,
And I can feel my numbness healing it again.
Sep 2017 · 442
Curves and bones
Virginia Kasmi Sep 2017
Reactions become routines,
and I didn't even know,
until your existence challenged mine.
Scary in oh a such beautiful way,
how all of my 5 senses react,         as I hide  my face between your sheets,
and they smell like strong morning coffee.
Terrifying how you make me feel
as dizzy as I get after seven perfect Manhattans,
when your hands get lost in the curves of my body.
My mouth jailed in ecstasy on your skin,
My lips wanting to write a story on your cage of bones,
Almost using the words I am afraid of even thinking .
Aug 2017 · 376
Formless shapes
Virginia Kasmi Aug 2017
I still feel cold,
As cold as we felt after skinny dipping that summer night,
But your arms are not wrapped around my naked body.
I can't feel your breath on my neck.
I can't feel the way your skin reacts with crazy goosebumps every time water drops from my wet hair slide down your chest.
I am tired of trying to remember the sound of your voice,
Exhausted of closing my eyes so tight till being able to see whole galaxies,
But still not capable of a sharp picture of your face.
I see shades of green but none of them matches your eyes.
I force my skin to remember the warmth of your touch,
but I still feel cold.
Jul 2017 · 582
Virginia Kasmi Jul 2017
Her lips taste like sparkling wine,
Eyes glowing like painted skies,
Her touch like summer rain,
She lost in her beautiful mind,
Smashing me with electric smiles,
I take her hand and let her walk me through hell,
She burns like fire,
But smells like sunny winter days.
Jul 2017 · 480
Virginia Kasmi Jul 2017
It's midnight and I hit the pause button,
move slowly to the window.
Pull out a cigarette of my yellow box and light it up.
Fresh air touches my half naked body,
Tense skin, cherry-red *******.

It's almost 1am so I take my medicine,
White pill, blue pill, orange one, 25 drops
Bitter lips, thirsty mouth.
Lights turn off and I get  between soft, silk  sheets.

Heavy breathing, salty skin.
It's 02:07 as i scream for help,
Silent whispers of confusion as I realize it isn't real.
It's 02:40 I've got fire in my belly and ice in my chest.
Olive-green emptiness in my ****** eyes,
Close them tight
As I pour and shatter.
Jul 2017 · 459
Synthetic feelings
Virginia Kasmi Jul 2017
When your body temperature so high you're burning a hole onto your bed,
but still shaking because cold storms constantly crawl down your whole being.
Hugging yourself trying to hold everything together,
But every single bone hurts,
like you've been running a city marathon.
My throat dry and swollen,
failing as I try to speak to myself.
I reach for a glass of water,
powerless I moan and tears which seem so cold and pleasant run down my face,
as I realize I'm all alone,
always been, always will.
With all that's left from me,
I try to catch the big red pill on my table,
it hurts while sliding down my throat,
I close my eyes and fade
Jun 2017 · 999
Bitter and Sweet
Virginia Kasmi Jun 2017
A bittersweet smile touches my lips softly
As I run my fingers through the scars on my pale skin
My heart plays drum and bass
As I turn the pages of my favorite book and they stick together because someone spilled coke on them
All the drunk nights creating a liquid rush
As I sip cold whisky-coke
My senses getting high
When I smell a just litten up joint
Feeling alive while being able to remember
Shaking, thinking about the day I won't
Jun 2017 · 394
Red to grey
Virginia Kasmi Jun 2017
Inhale furiously, exhale softly
the burning lust of a cigarette.
Smoking the toxic memories
From the first one you lit up,
to the red-hot one between your fingers.
Addicted to the flaming feelings that simply faded,
from red to grey,
from glowing to ash.
3 minutes of calm
and the never ending space left between them..
Jun 2017 · 441
360 turn
Virginia Kasmi Jun 2017
Rushing to reach the other side
Because you crossed the street on red.
Your ******* getting hard when they touch the cold,hard ground
It happened so fast, didn't it?

Your eyes wide shut..
Feeling  the ground vibrating under your body.
Cars coming closer.
Simple scare,
Insane energy,
Adrenaline rush.
You can feel your blood creeping through veins,
Electric thoughts trying to make you move,
Calm heartbeats telling you not to,
Because every cell of your being is feeling alive.

That's how it felt when you first walked in on a sad Monday morning
Eyes met.
The perfect fit
Just like cigarettes after ***.
My mind exploding In colors
While your lips moved.

Can I have a cappuccino please ?
Jun 2017 · 1.0k
Seductive hell,
Virginia Kasmi Jun 2017
Irises dancing like they're on ecstasy,
My whole world continuously moving,
But I can't even tell,
Because I don't even know what still feels like.

Eyelids as heavy
As a dead body sinking in
the middle of the blue liquid nothing,
Where I gaze at my always shaking reflection
And don't even recognize myself.

All shades of dark  under my eyes
Where devils run circles,
Where melancholy rests in peace while creating a seductive hell.
Jun 2017 · 409
An Outsider in my world
Virginia Kasmi Jun 2017
No matter what I keep coming back to the darkest corner of the wooden table. Only now, I notice a full year has passed. Every day for a year I have been staring at the blank paper right in front of me. It is still white, pure, unchanged.

Have you ever seen a tornado? I stand right in the eye of a tornado, it feels quiet and empty, and so do I. How am I supposed to write down on this piece of paper when I am not even capable of feeling? I feel no pain, nor love, nor joy.

I strongly believe that people do not change just the circumstances do, and so they did. I wanted them to change. I still remember the day I left, every detail. Even the minute I woke up. Seven o’clock in the morning and for the first time I didn’t felt like I needed five more minutes of sleep, as I always do. My heart started racing, I felt the beat in my head and in my stomach. I brushed my teeth for way too long lost in the chaos inside me. It was perfect that no one was home.
I was craving some fresh croissants from the small shop across the street; I still remember how the shop smelled that morning. I ordered croissants for two, made smoothie for two. We made sure the sheets of the bed I had slept in since I was six smelled like salty skin after ***. We took a shower, shampooing each other’s head and fooling around like everything was fine. We smoked a cigarette in silence, knowing words would ruin too much. We said goodbye. I finished packing. My whole life was in that flat, that room, and all I was taking with me was a suitcase. I got dressed and took a look in each room. I knew I was not only about to leave my home, family, my friends and lover behind, I was about to leave the way everything felt back then. I knew nothing would remain the same. I was about to leave behind my life and start a new one.

Now I am going through life like a ghost trying to figure it out. Stuck between past and present. Living now and craving yesterday. Going back to yesterday and not feeling the same way I used to.

It was New Year’s Eve, so I booked a ticket, wanting to go home. My parents had bought a new flat right after I left; it was amazing, but not what I needed. I wanted to finally see and smell something familiar, I had had enough of changes. Everything was new, full and empty at the same time. A lot of material stuff and no memories. Everyone seemed the same, but they weren’t. I had missed too much of their daily basis, great and little moments, I wasn’t there, neither were they.

We were drinking some cheap wine at our favorite place and laughing at nonsense jokes, right in that moment something broke inside of me and pieces of it still break every time little by little. I feel no pain, nor love, nor joy. Maybe that is why I spend so much time collecting pictures, post cards, and old bills back from nights we used to drink our so-called pain away. Or maybe that’s why I watch movies I used to like when I was 16 and silly, maybe just trying to hold on to something that feels like home. I race back to the times when a cigarette wasn’t the solution of my problems, because I just want to be able to feel something again.  

But tell me how is it even possible to stay the same when all we have got is a precious knowledge of self-destruction?
May 2017 · 694
Water & Oil.
Virginia Kasmi May 2017
As empty as you feel when your headphones are on
and no music is playing.
As full  as a heart can be,
full enough to hear its beating like the noice a traffic  light makes,
while you are waiting for it to switch from red to green.
As full as lungs filled with air but still...
you feel like you are not able to breathe.

Longing to pour it all out,
to shout it out loud until your throat hurts
like it does after singing that one song at a karaoke bar.

But your lips remain sealed
and words stuck between thoughts.
Thoughts so loud,
you can't even remember the sound of your voice anymore.

As hopeless as the thick air on that 1st January morining
when you walk down the empty streets,
knowing this isn't a new beginning.
As quiet as the big city life seems
when you are lying ****** on the ground
with the right people around.

As painful as not being able to tell
if you are made out of atoms
or just a concept.
As surreal as feeling alive.

I could be more like milk and honey,
but I'm somewhere between nothing and affection
just like water and oil.

Everything i reach out for,
everything i touch,
becomes water and oil.
Mixed up,
but yet still separate.
Never one.
Not even when you get as close,
as two people can be in this world.
When you are burning holes on each-others
skins and souls.

As messy as hair after world-crashing ***.
As complicated as the ability to understand that emotions
are artificial paradises.
As strong as your longing to puke your brain out.

As hard as not being able to...
May 2017 · 1.3k
Painfilled Pleasures
Virginia Kasmi May 2017
Somewhere between wanting to cover my entire body with tattoos
and tearing my skin off
Whatever hurts more.
I want  my surface to burn
when hot tears spread out.

Unspoken words like a simphony
in my subconscious abyss.
Sour memories soaring my tongue
like cherry wine.

Trying to fill the void,
but my holes get even deeper.

Don't run your fingers gently on my body,
Make me bleed,
Make me burn alive.

Make me feel pain,
the pain i deserve.
May 2017 · 1.4k
Virginia Kasmi May 2017
We were all skin and skin and skin...
Fingertips counting ribs
A map of scares and pleasures.
Silence so colorful inking whole lines on our bodies.

Painful and poetic.

Two living hells waiting to find out who burns faster.
Still, applying cold water
on the wounds we caused each-other.

Heavy breathes of confusion on necks,
trying to remember the way we smelled.
We were lost in space.

All skin and skin and skin,
but our souls were three galaxies away.

— The End —