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dear don't cry for me I know it hurts,
but their is nothing that you could do.
I know that you want to follow me threw
but its not the time for you.
take a deep breath and then another,
take a few days to recover.
know that I will always love you no mater witch way the wind blows.
I am hear and you are their,
I know that it huts,
and its hard to bare.
just take a step back
a try to understand that....I don't want you to hurt.
wipe the tears out of your eye,
I don't want you to cry.
If you need me I will stay until you fall asleep.
one day I will see you again,
but until then just remember,
don't cry for me I know that it hurt
and their is nothing that you could do.
Just smile as often as you can,
and remember I love you
One more day is all that I ask
I just want to see the sun set before I pass
The light as it plays off of the river bend
This is weir I want to be burred in the end
Take my hand now mother pleas don't cry
Tell our family that it ends tonight
Pleas tell them that I am going home
and someday we will meet again
I want to go to the river bend tonight
hear the nightingale sing as I look up at the sky
Mother tell Father that I am ok
I will love you both forever and always
I want to go to the river bend
Lay me down to rest
pleas don't levee me till I've breathed my last
And sing the songs of ages past
I am gone to the place weir angels rest
Mother tell my brothers that it is all rite
I don't fear my death a little tonight
I want to pass at the rivers bend
Because as the sun sets and the colors are bright
maybe the angels will find me all rite
Pleas understand that this is not a good bye
I only wish that we had a little more time
Like star crossed lover only you loved another
I am lft bleeding on the floor
Dear pleas remember me
Don't forget the poesy seeds
My hear burns like ashes yes we al fall down
I don't want to waste any of your time
I'm rowing the bout and were doing just fine
Going gently down the stream
if you loved me life seemed but a dream
You eyes did twinkle like a little star
How I wonder weir you are now
Now I am goon above the clouds so high
Sitting beside the moon like a diamond in the sky
I still wonder what you are as my memory fades so far
really how sweet is the rose that ****** one to many times?
You know the one that wilts but never dies
thinking its over you go to see if its all rite
but how sweet is the rose that makes you cry
bring her some flowers
act like you love her
see if she wants to get back together
you've pricked her small finger
still her heart lingers
because what is a rose without its thorns
She reverts back to the written not spoken to speak
because to her feelings she hides them to keep
just to keep you around and to see your bright eyes
but how sweet is the rose that only ****** and never dies?
Sometimes I don't think I should
be
like I was never really meant
Because I'm a sinner in the eyes of my saint
and a saint in the eyes of a sinner
I SEE
YES I SEE
I SEE THE WAY YOU LOOK
I SEE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT ME
TO MUCH
YES IT IS TO MUCH
YOUR TUCH
YOUR TUCH IS MY SIN
I TAKE IT AS I HAVE BEAN
BROKEN
NO I AM ALIVE
SADEND
BUT I WILL NOT FALL AGENE
BROKEN.....
            
                     IN PAIN........
                        
                                      NEVER THE SAME........
Am I suicidal?
just a little bit why?
I can see it in your eyes how bad you hurt inside
my mom caught me a few times with my last will wrote
she asked me why I wanted to die
and said I felt broke inside
kids at school these days
don't know how much It takes
just to stop the tears and say that your ok
they don't know how bad it hurts
to be pushed around the hallways almost constantly
but because you don't want to be week
you refuse to standup and speak
you see kids these days are blind, they don't see the world threw clear dark and blue eyes .
They think their indestructible but they arnt' all that wonderful
I popped a few pills when I was five, I was young and I wanted to die
I was to stupid to know what ones to take
so I swallowed about five to take the headache away
but, pleas don't follow down this rode
I might not be dead yet
but I can feel its close
just huge your pillow tighter
harden up become a fighter
because no ones going to save you
you got to save yourself
I need a savior to hold me up
because the worlds become to tuff
Who would save a girl like me
a blip in history
everyone always sais
keep your head up don't let them see you cry
but when the world is the one that's sick
who will save me from it
I need a savior to hold me up
not the one in the holly book
I don't think im meant to be
im just a blip in history
sea
sea
Sometimes I find myself
looking over the distance
wondering how would it be
if the words never did this
I look over and I see
the sea like glass
why would I want to end that way when
all I have would be useless
so I stand back and I laugh how selfish would it be if I had jumped into the sea
She
She
I'm Leaving now
let this be a lesion
To all who think that words don't matter
How could you look her in the eyes say you love her
she knows you lie
why not come clean what's the point
all she wanted was for you to try
burry her in the finest silk
tell her she's beautiful before her make up begins to wilt
all she wanted was for something to be real
Now she's gone what will you say
to the mother that walks your way
You smile again but it biter sweet this time
When a daughter takes her own damb life
tell her she's pretty, take her out to eat, dance with her
let her stand on your feet
don't turn your back and pull out a flask
all she wanted was for something to last
I'll make this quick you wont have to stay
close your eyes and float away
go to her it will be ok
She
She
Silent she is braking
Silent she goes on crying
How douse she disserve this?
When she lets out her last breath

Silent is the night
When this girl was born
And silent is the night
From witch she is torn
Who's fault is it now when she is layed down
With  skin pail as snow
Her death not a signal person knows
Why must she be put threw this
When all she disserved was bliss?
She
She
Now and agene I am faced with this wrath
the wrath that I hold in the palm of my hand
How am I to tell them
that im just a lost cause
I am l to reminisce over child hood memory's
The ones that make me cry
just lay in bed and die
Do you have an idea
of how bad it really hurt
When I prayed to god at night
'Jesus pleas tae my life'
Never once did he answer me
Now that times a memory
Thou I am still nie
I am left to ponder now
Could god really love me
If he wont help his child
All I ever wanted
was someone to understand
so I did not have to write it  
With a stick in the sand
Do you even know your daughter
Who cried herself to sleep at night
Only wanted someone to hold her titer
so that she wouldn't cry
And that's why she got up to hug you when you levee for work everyday
So that she could die happy
I know this iset what you wanted
To give your daughter away
But at the end of the day
she gave herself away
I saw this girl the other day
she was so shy until came
And opened up her  mouth and began to sing
she said
'I am afraid of death
but I will not go silently
I am not meant to go into the night
Because I have not been alive long enough
and I will fight I will be tuff
Because that's what you need to see inside of me
day did pass until I saw her face agene
so powerful as she leyed down in the hospital bed
asking me how I could end this way
she said
"I have not gone silently
I fought for life an to be free
Until my dying breath you see I cannot go  silent into the night"
I did not see her agene until she was layed into he funeral bed
Her head apon the pillow as she was lowered down into her grave
I read her eulogy, something she wrote just for me
she said..
"I am not afraid anymore, I know your heart must be sore
But now that you are reading this, know it couldn't have turned out any other way...but I did not go silent, no I fought until my dying breath so that I could say...death is easy and life that's hard no go on its your life ad mine is gone
I'm still learning about life
I've seen so little before me
closed into a world that truly barley knows me.
You see some kids at school thought it was funny to call her ugly
little do you know she's dealing with  some suicide theory's
she deals with it all by writing songs and story's
she's made it to seven years old,
She already thinks the world is cold.
she wants a better life
crying herself to sleep for a shorter one.
She's made it to fifteen and the world seems un-clean.
her heart is braking.
she's had enough of the world around her that barley knows her.
why did you think it was all rite to try and write the end to her story.
now she's made her mind their wont be no happy ending
Write your apology, and put it in a sad little eulogy
your words meen more than what you think
she didn't make it to seventeen,
she wont be getting married,
she was in search for a better world now she's found one
once she was fifteen years old her world did seem cold
but now she doesn't have to feel the world around her falling
once she was fifteen years old.
but, i guess that's how the world goes
Go silently yes go silent
make no sound or scream
plaster on a smile
and let the pain go on unseen
walk on yes move forward
and behold what you fear
the people who you thought loved you
they don't even know that your hear
you would walk a thousand miles to have someone who you can love
but your wrists are the ones bleeding when your hearts had enough
you think of all the bad things that have happened
the path to hells paved with good intentions
that is all you get from the world that surrounds you
you left because you thought you did
but you never really knew
how the world is cruel in its own way
but it can get so much worse for you
so hold on to the ones you have
the ones who know how bad it really hurts
I want to say that it got better for the one I talk about
but go too the grave that is bare as she felt
and their you'll see how it ended for a girl like her
who saw the world as it was
and gave in to the hurt
Hey, this is the first one that I have done in a while on this site so pleas go and like my other poems that I have written over this sort of thing...self harm is not something that I can talk about easily but this is one way I can express what happens in everyday life   so if you would like to follow pleas do and comment if you would like to suggest a topic for me to write about
SIN
SIN
You see she falls, another angel lost
You watch as they hit her, another Kingdome gone
Why don't you help her when she calls out to you?
Broken with no sound
She feels like a sin.
A sin that never should have bean.
So put the gun to her head.
You watch on and now she is dead
She's drowned herself so many times
and at the bottom of a bottle she thinks that It will solve her problem's
And you watch on she pop's her pills
Yellow green and blue
She hop's that you knew
That she's drowning herself In her sin
because she Is the angel that never should have bean
she puts the gun up to her head
Feeling like a sin
Broken the tears In her eyes are long gone
Now she just wants to be seat free
She pulls the trigger and she's moved on
because she knew all you would do was look on
sometimes I don't like being a loner
but I guess its better than being a stoner
I am caught in mellow drama
kids these days hooked on marijuana
I will not smoke *** with you
but I will read you pride and prejudice
I like my books better than oxycontin
My Clarry and Jace more than your straight ***** and chase  
I like books more than people
reading is my choice drug
while yours starts bringing you down
on your addiction is frowned
mine is making me looked up to
yes I am a loner
my walls build from Stephen kings
my heads not clouded with weirs the ****
no I guess I am not a stoner
but fictional people are better than real ones
I wont **** for a too finger bag
but touch my paper back and ill have your ***
Take a breath ill pull myself together.
Just another step till I reach the door. You'll never know the way it tore me up inside to see you.
I wish I could tell you something to take it all away.
Tell you something to bring back your faith.
Sometimes I wish that I could save you.
And their so many things that I want you to know.
I wont give up till its over, even if it takes you forever.
I want you to  know that when I hear your voice.
Its drowning in the whispers.
Its just skin and bone, their nothing left to take.
And no matter What I do I cant make you feel better
If only I could find the answer to help you understand
Sometimes I wish I could save you.
And their so many things that I wish you would have known.
I hope you know I wont give up till the end.
I hope you understand I meant it ' forever till the end'
I want you to know that If you fall, tumbledown.
Ill pick you off from the ground.
And if you loose faith in the world ill hold you so that you know their is still good to.
Tell me you wont give up, and ill be their if you do.
Sometimes I wish I could save you
and theirs so much you should have known.
I wont give up till its over. If it takes you forever.
I want you to know I meant 'forever till the end'
And I wish that I could have saved you
Their are so many things you never will see
Just don't give in tonight
don't give up on me.
I stand but, I am fallen
Broken I mean nothing
Should I listen to these words
or should I stand up stronger

Hate Is all around me
Broken I am falling
Nobody can see how bad words hurt me.
But I will stand when they call me nothing.
I stand but I am falling

We are the fallen broken we are forsaken
I know you hear the same words
That tack away your worth.
But with these broken wings we will stand don't give in to the dream land it will be ok someday
Don't hang your head broken little angel sadden  by the world
their words wont take away your worth
Beer bottles thrown on broken walls
Your children hide as you try to crawl
hes made you a sheep
to afraid to stand up
Your children are to young
so they shut up
How can you tell your children everyday before school
To believe in themselves when everyone seems cruel
How do you look them in the eyes without getting sick
Because when you tell them good bye you have to put up with that *****
When the nurse asks you tell them to lie
when it was him who gave you that black eye
And they are to young but they understand
That if their mother puts up
Its ok not to raise a hand
Your daughter will grow up thinking that its all rite
to have your husband beet you up almost every night
And have your children cry out for their mother
but because she has a fat lip
they get no answer
That its ok to curl up in the middle of the floor
after he's said he wont hit you no more
And because you let them see what happened your daughter will grow up
to expect it to happen
so stop what your doing and open your eyes
your children lurn by the look in your eyes
if you were a mother and a good one at that
when he first punched you, you would have called it that
left with your children and said your good byes
but no your children fall asleep to your cry's at night
I guess rite now you could say
that I am fallen down
I'm broken now
forgotten abandoned to your sound
but its beautiful
your voice its almost sinful
forgotten no more grace
you tack me home and brake my face
Open
my tears fall down but I'm not going to die in vain
only broken for the moment
I don't know how to keep it together
But I will always remember
Yes the dead will always remember
The devil is clever
for He uses our judgment of others
to make sinners out of brothers

I am torn for I want to be excepted into the light
But I am welcomed to the night
How am I supposed to chose
to be bad or to loose

The voice inside my head is telling me to go
to the one that I really know
how bad could it be?
death no destiny
So I chose the night
The only on who also choses me

Blame me for your childes actions
for the devil and his demons meen corruption
But when I was making the decision
you said that I could have changed
The funny thing....I would have chosen light
Now every sinner has another day  and every saint has a past

I am the girl made of glass
I chose the devil because he chose me to
your rejection hurt so bad you never knew

But now I'm over it
for if I cannot enter heaven
I shall raise hell
Once I had a dream that my father tried to **** me,
and everyone that was beside me was a man who had hurt me.
He had my heart inside a box and figured I was lost,
so he brought out a knife he had labeled 'Time.'
All the men in my life at some time or another,
left me at some point, in pursuit of another.
So no wonder in my dream, some men did try to protect me
but, turned around and carved their names into my heart.
All the women did not come, to heal my heart or give me another one.
So I was left on my own, with a hollow space under bone.
A cold feeling in my soul, that I now call my home....
Their are many things in this world
that are straight and bent and twirled
and wrapped around my little finger
but don't worry the pain wont linger

Because what is love without a bit of pain
to put the whole world into perspective again.
To show you that the world is cruel
But I find beauty when I find you

You with all your faults
And all of your short comings
Back to your side I find myself running.
Love me or not I cant tell you enough
That yeah life gets rough
But you are enough

Life wont be easy
and our hearts are not perfect
But I'll work with you because I think your worth it
your heart never beet to the sound of a drum
you never blindly followed anyone

....your gone and it hurts to watch you leave
But, I would rather it hurt to breath without you
Then to watch your eyes fill with misery at the sun rise
I cant follow you as you went
so I watched the sun as it set
with or without me
love me or hate me
Ill bend so you don't have to break in the end.....
They tell you that you'll never do anything
say your not worth the fight
They say to keep In your lane
You'll never get the chance to change
They tell you to fall in line
March to the same beet and to the same time  
They tell you its their world you live in
like its a privilege to be living
They tell you to act the same
I tell you.. to .forget what they tell you.
I hured this on the news the other day
a small girl tuck her life away
Because she had a skip in her step
and didn't followed the rest
They told her she wasn't cool
Made her look like a foul
She said she had enough
Like the world was to tuff
So in her last final words
she showed the world how bad it
do you see   how your words **** the kids with worth
Because they believe in the lie
Feel like its their time
When the world could be so much better
If that girl never wrote that letter
They tell you to fall in line
they tell you that you'll be fine
if you'll just follow suet
Forget the girl that knew
that not everyone is the same
Life's not meant to be lived that way
But oh well they'll tell you
like its your job to follow
Like you have to obey
the rules make everyone the same
and that if you just step away
the entire world will brake
forget those words
forget what they tell you
If you need me I will protect you
A thousand years and I will rite a letter from the darkest night
asking you not to hold on to the things people say
because all I am is lonely
a broken thought taken from me
cant you just top to see
that the nights that's all that's left of me
now im gone remember me
the things I always wanted to be
And in a thousand years I will breathe
Of the highest trumpet symphony
But, forgotten is the night and how hard I tried to fight
Alone once agene
I am lost
a thousand years and you will see what a broken heart did to me
"Then i leave you and promise you thet i wil come back to you one day and redeme myself in your eyes goodby my sisster and good night
He left me slowly but shurly once the darkness had made it imposibule to see him i once agen focased on the crematory thet had semingly dun its job.
The flames wher dead and all thet was left of the girl was the chared ashes thet had once bean her bones .
I had said to her thet this would be in the back of my mind soon enufe and it was when i turned away it was shuved to the back of my minde.
The car waas cold when i got into it i had left the windowe open so the cold nightime air could get in.
I rolled it up and turned the car on.
It hummed to life with a catlike purr i only had to tape the gas petal to mack it shoot forwerd downe the lifless barlet lit street the i would never go downe agen.
2

My hous was a good sised one for me i had ushualy had a manchen but i did not consider this to be that.
It had ten roomes ot including the basement and garage a kichen,3beadroomes,a library,a living roome,a game rome, a theater,and too bathromes.
I had sevral cars thet wher parked in the garage thet i freqwently did not use.
Thet wher cars frome my past the modal t  was the oldest of them it had beean my first car thet i had bought .
I knew the man who had bilght it from hand and gave it to his beloved crush he was so infachowated with her ...to bad i did not feal the same.
Then i had a few more i hade cars thet wher not street egal because thay could go up to 700 mials per hour and uther thet wher just pretty.
It was the only thing thet had come out good frome hummen evalution.
I parked my lambragini next to my rould royse and got out .
The house was also could i hadent the slightes clu why bt it was my pershan cat tin tu was seated on the love seet thet was in the living roome.
She was regla wheni came in her chin lifted high .
She meowed as i steped into her ew as if she was annoyed with me and the fact thet i had smeled like hummen blood.
The thing about her was she wasent a mortal cat she was an imortal cat once long ago i was borne to a varry powerfull man he had asked me what
i wanted and i had said thet i wanted to ceep my kitten forever and ever he had granted me this.
Tin TU looked at me annoted thet i was late home and paded around my feet untill i fead her then she happaly ignored me whial she ate.
The cat was all thet i caired to ceep frome my past she was the only thing besides my brother thet i wanted to ceep.
The wind frome the night blw open the windowe it the lving room Tin TU stoped eathing and hissed her taribul anoyed danger was neer hiss.
She did not have to i felt it to the chill was sent downe my spine as i turned slowly to fase the man who stud behnd me.
"Hellowe Father."
He was the demon who had given birth to me he was a man who could **** you witha thought and never think of it agen
He was the monster a chiald saw under the bead he was my father.
"Hellowe my littal soul stealer i see you have been bissy in your endevors?"
I shruged my eyes never leaving his
"I have adapted to the unfochanet surcumstances thet you have put over my head theas last few decades."
The could in my voice was sharpe as i spat it at him,but his smial never waverd for a second.
"And with age you have become more and more the monster that i hoped you woud be so thet you could rual beside me in the depths of your power ."
That was the thing thet he had birthed me for to use my power of the hevins and hell the devil satin who he worked for had instructed him to **** an angel so he had
and out of that i was borne the devil wants to use my power the too sides of good and evil gave me gifts the day thet i was borne .
Hevin gave me the gift of free will and the devil gave me the curse of eturnal life so thet if he forgote abou me for a decade or too he could still use me .
I hated them both sides they had never showen themselvs to me once to help me my father said it was to mack the choice mine and not to influence me.
That was the only thing we had in commune  we could not tell lies it was a curse thet hevine had put on him and had travald threw blood to me.
"Why are you hear father you have need of the pain thet you have put me threw all of theas years or do you just love to see the hatred in my eyes thet is because of
you?"
He tuck a step back eyes wide with shock.
"You dair speek to me like that i am your father i can **** you with one thought i am the devils advocet!?!!!!!!!"
That made my temmper explode into somthing thet i had never befor felt.
"YOU ARE NOT MY FEER I DO NOT FEER YOUR POINTLESS THRETS YOU ALWAYS COME HEAR TO SEE IF I AM CRYING BUT I NEVER AM MY MOTHER DIED SHE GAVE UP HER
ANGELS CRESS BECAUSE SHE WANTED ME TO LIVE SHE GAVE UP HEVIN FOR ME THAT IS LOVE WHAT YOU CALL LOVE IS NOT YOU ARE NOT THE MAN WHO I WANTED TO BE MY FATHER
YOU ARE A DEMO YOU CANOT LOVE ME YOU WILL NEVER!!!!! I AM A SLAVE TO YOUR OWN INVENCHONE YOU ARE A SLAVE NO MATTER WHAT LUCIFER TELLS YOU ,YOU WILL
ALWAYS BE THAT A SLAVE!!!!! AND YOU HAVE DEMMED YOUR CHILDREN TO THE SAME FATE AS YOU!!!!"
My suden outburst made him step back and blink.
I also steped back it was the first time thet i had ever used the demonic powers thet i had been born with.
"You should leav befor i **** you ."
My voice came out in little more than a wisper but it was loud enuff for him to hear me.
"You are my daughter."
The words wher smug and sympal they should not have had an affect on me but they did.
"Yu are not my father you are a demon the monster who ***** my mother an angel who did nothing to diserve this."
My voice did not raise but if you hurd this it would have seemd so.
"You may find this hard to balev my chiald but i loved your mother she was my friend she did thing for me nowone did whial i was alive."
He pased like he was in pain from ramembering things thet had happend his words only ****** me off.
"How could my mother have loved you a demon a crual man."
He ran his hand threw his hair and shruged he was sad i could tell and i knew he could not lie so i disided to lissen to him only this once."
"Your mother was a death angel she was the one thet brange the sould out of hevin and into hell that is why god loved her because she would give up her life to
surve him he loved her more than an angel.
He cursed me when he relized he would loose her o me he made me tell the truth of why i wanted her in that hould that day she was scaired she said thet she hated me
and i was scaired when she said that i missed her and i loved her if only she would lissen to me but the devil came and ***** her in that houl infrount of me
She cryed out for help and i tryed but the devil cursed me and my children you think the curse thet you have is du to mt thet i did this to you but i did not
It was he his words wher 'You and your children will never be alowed into hevin foe your incolence and they like you shall have to **** fore your life....
And so it was i was 18 at the time so enny and all my children will have to **** to live when thet reach the age of 18.... that is why you have to **** because he
hated me.'
i paused for a minute not wanting to balev him.
"You lie....but you canot can you?......How could my mother have beena death angel she was my mother not a bad angel."
My resurve was not as solid as it sounded i was scaired as if i was a little girl whos dog ran away.
He looked taken aback by this.
"Your 'canote tell a lie curse is less promanint then mine you can tell things thet you balev even if it is a lie."
Soon he shruged it off and walked around the room he was restless.
"You should leave now like rite now."
My voice was shaking and qwivering.
I was not who i was saposed to be i hade been talking to my dad somthing thet i would have never dune before i would have dune somthing to **** him before
but i hadent yet.
He stude thair inforont of me scaired and alone as if he was a boy.
"Goodby father, goodby...."
He looked up at me just before he closed the door to leave once agen.
"You call me your father why you know thet i am not ."
I said the only thing thet i could at the time the only thing thet i could say ,the only thing thet came to mind.....
"You are the only father thet i know the man who you say ***** my mom has not spoke to me at all he is not my father i have known you as such for all my life and so
you shall always be in my eyes."
Slowly he closed the door and left ,how could this night get eney worse  and i really hope i did not just jinx myself  thouse thoughts went threw my head .

3MOM OF THE DEVILS CHIALD.

Envalina sate on the couch in her house she was a varry tall beautiful womane she have the blewest eyes and blakest hair she was pail.
She had a scars on her back thet wher in the shape of wide almost cresents.
Her wings had been thair but they wher not eneymore they had been riped frome her long ago when god had found thet she had been ***** and impregnated by the devil.
The chiald thet she birthed was like no uther she had the blakest hair darker than night and pail skil,her eyes wher a ice blew almost coolerless.
Her name was Edome.
Envalina loved that girl she hated the father she hated the man wo had betrayed her and led her into the darkness and forsed her to be ***** and have the chiald.
Edome had stayed with her mother untill the age of 12 when she had relized her demonic powers she had killed an boy thet had hurt her brother with a thought.
She had ran away with nothing but a wallet full og monny and her mind.
A could wind came in from the kichen windowe it mand chills run up her spine she hadent felt that precence in a long long time
"You havent changed much Envalina in a long time."
The voice she hated the voice thet did belong to the man thet had betrayed her so long ago.
"Leave me alone you are no friend of mine you havent been for a long ,long time you must leave now befor i call my chiald to me and have her **** you."
He huffed anoyed by her lack of enthusiasum at seeing him.
"Edome wil not come to you she hates me why would she come to you."
Envaina lafed a sinical lafe one she had solumly if ever used to spee to eneyone with.
"I have more than one chiald you must know that ."
The smell hit his nose first the smell of sin and sorowe overwelmd him."
Evalina smelled the sent and did not react to the smell as the demon did he reacted as if a dead body had bee laying on the floor for weeks and nowone had moved it.
"Caramia come to your mother please let me see you and showe you to somewon."
A blonde cural and a blew eye poked out frome behind the entryway inbatwen the kichen and the livingroom.
She looked about sevi or eight .
She wore a simpal long whight dress thet had a bight wight ribone in the back.
She was small and skinny but she was her mothers daughter .
she had the enviase beauty thet eney womane would be enviase of she came into the roome shyly as if she wanted to not be hear at all she was afraied of him.
"I can sence the danger in yuo your darkness and evil you know my mother and i know you mack one false move and i will **** you hear and know."
Her words wher thretaning ut she said them in a wisper the demon mad did not hesatate whair she was conserned he ceept eye contact.
"And i can snce you sarowe and pain you ate of the darkness but you also have a soul a sad soul but you have one nun the less who are you chiald and what are you?"
She looked to Eavalina for help the mother just noded slightly as if giving her permishon to speek to the man wh had betrayed her.
"I am Caramia the daughter of the fallen death ange i poses the powers thet sh had i go to the depest depths og hell and come bback un scathed from the jorny.
You are a deomon of hell the one thet had betrayed my mother and sent her hear with a chiald she did not want so if she asks me agen to **** you i shall."
With that the little girl tuck a stance thet made her look only slightly thretaning.
The demon just lafed at her he could senc the danger in doing so but did it eneyway.
"You are like my daughter when she lived with your mother she protected the womae who you call your mother with her life and blood...did she tell you she almost did
die protecting your mother once.....an angel had come downe from hevil to slay your mom but my chiald would not allowe it she stabrd the angel threw the harte
they fought agenst one another for a good half day battaling untill both wher too tierd to cuntinu the angel had brither came to help him somthing thet
has never happpend sence that wher going to kil both of them but Edome stoped them she saved your mother so the next time you talk about the chiald you better do
it with respet she saved your mom and you owe her a life debt."
The wordscame out in a hiss of anger he had begun to yell at the chiald making it shrink back agenst the side of its mother.
"I owe her a debt? how could that be tru you said she had never lived with you thet you hated her thet i was the only daughter thet you loved
you lied to me moma!"
The chiald threw a tantrum of throwing thingd and skeeming out in anger she wasent to have this at all .
"CALM DOWN CARAMIA NOW AS YOUR MOTHER I DEMAND IT YOU MAY PAY BACK THE DEED THET YOU OWE HER WHEN SHE IS NEXT IN DANGER~!!!!"
the chiald stoped for a second but then second thought it when her mother turned away from her for a secod.
she went to the demo who her mother so hated and spoke to hm not in a ******* tone but she was angry nu the less.
"you will brng me to the girl who i owe the debt to an i shall repay it then i will return to my mother and you shall leave us alone do you understand me demone of
hell?"

He noded and looked to Evalina she was shaking her head as if she wasent to shur of her daughters plane.
"You should know thet the girl is of both sides hevine and hell she canot be killed if that was your plan to my chiald."
That seemd to stop her dead in her traks as she thought threw the thing thet she had just hured.
"How could that be so it canot you know that ....moma is it rite it cant be tru......moma?"
Evalina shuck her head and stud up abruptly making her daughter step back away from her.
"You can tell her what you did to me demon then see if she douse not try to **** you then..good luck boy."
With that she left the room to leave the too of them alone so they could plane the death and resurection of her daughter alone.
4 POWERS RESURECTED

I stud alon in the rain it was a cool october night thet smeeld of somthing uther than death for once.
Hand raised to the hevins i called ou into the night thet was alll around me i comanded the powers thet i had been borne with the powers thet i did not use varry often
"Hear me call the wind the rain and all i summon thy to do my biding and end the life of a man who calls himself my father! i call to you the wind i call to you the rain
i call you fire i call you the pain thet i have been put threw and i demand thet you obay me frome the powers of hevin and the fires of hell
'adu-mi ala de putere i doresc sa aiba ?i killthe om ala nume' so let it be thet the demon father be killed on this night so let it be i cast thy!"
With that i casd the speel thet would **** the man thet had ***** my father the man who made her have me.
Lightning struck the fround on all sides of me it burned the grass arould me forming the circal thet i knew to well.
The blurry image of a beest fikerd to life in the flames it was grotesc and disturbing it was the devil.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DUN TO MY YOU BLAFMYUS BICTH YOU ARE KILLING ME RESURECT THE CIRCAL OW DO AS I SAY AS THE DARKLOURD I COMAND IT !!!!!"
he called out to me he was in pain so much thet i could see thet it was so, he howuld out in pain and thrashed around in the lames and eturnal damnation thet was his
home.
All the anger and age thet had bilght inside of me had explode in an insetent i could not controll it eney loonger i exploded into the thing thet my father was
i was not me as my body began to morph in to a demon the demon me the evil thet had consumend me thet was blurry just became so cleer.
"YOU SHALL DIE AT MY HANDS I WILL TACK YOU FROME YOUR THRONE AND KIL YOU YOU ARE THE DEMON THET ***** MY MOTHER AND I WILL NOT STAND IT I
Today I saw a kid
and watched as somebody killed him
I never thought twice
I went to bed that night

today I saw a bully
and watched as he worked
I had no choice
I never thought twice
I went out with my friends that night

Today I was alone
I don't know why
and I never thought twice
I went home and cried

Today I saw  razor blade
and commented on how nice it looked
it said 'why thankyou can I take away your hurt?'
I never asked why
I don't want to cry
all those times I watched and did nothing
I never thought I would want to take my life
but now as I breath my last I see you walk away
yes you watched on...and did nothing
will this nothing turn into something.
Too late to go back
Afraid I cant pretend
Just look  how it has bean
To late to go back
I am lost who will find me
forgot all that's behind me
Who Will come save me
To late to go back
Good threw the crakes
no this thought never lasts
Happy on the outside
do you even know what's inside
No she wont let you in
She is not fragile like she once had bean
Maybe good will shine agene
Threw the crakes I do see
what this girl wants to be
Being good at Abstract art dose not mean you are bad at art...
It means that you don't follow,
you lead
your art is an extension of yourself.
Don't let anyone take that away
I have held a thousand fears
and cried a thousand tears
just when you don't think
that your heart can brake anymore
you go and open p another door
ill never be fire proof
yeah I know im not good enough for you
you seem to like to remind me of that
cut me some slack and give me my heart back
How many people have to die,
for you to understand.
That you don't hold someone's life,
in the palm of your hand.
She placed herself alone in a room with her thoughts that were dark.
She danced with the demons that lived in her head and she didn't fall apart.
This girl that I once knew with eyes so blue, danced with the demons inside of her head.
She spoke with them calmly and danced with them till dawn.
So they wouldn't cry when she was dead.
I want to write to make you proud
I want you to know this when I go out
because I may not come back
after I have closed the door when I wont be able to write any more
I have lost a broken doll
who is their to here this broken little thing call out
you came and yes, yes I am afraid
broken little doll will never be the same
....... who
                       reads
                                      my
                                                          story and cry's
i call yet i cannot be heard  
i am lost and to the world ill burn
who to save me as alight
i am lost and losing the fight
us
us
Sometimes I just want to be loved
I don't think that im enough
Broken, scared I don't want to be hurt
why is it  always you and I
I just want to laydown and watch the world go by
I feel like you never had enough of my love
I just want to fall away
like this was all just one big mistake
But broken now
I have lost all faith
Sometimes I just want to be loved'
told I am enough
I feel like im braking
I don't know if my life's worth the effort of taking '
All I wanted was to be loved
But your words were never enough
I feel broken but even that's not enough
Dear sister  can you hear me
are you out their are you listening.
Do you know that they have got me,
do you know that I fee like I'm drowning.
Our father he did tell us about the monsters in the sea
He told us to be cautious
he taught us to be weary.
Now I've lost you the ocean floor.
now the very monsters have me, locked behind the door.
I don't know if your still breathing,
But if you are I'll tell you this.
I am aboard the vampiret ship

Aboard the ship that moves threw nightmares
The flags made of bones and ash
Threw your dreams we will go
Aboard this ship that we sail
Aboard the ship of black and soulless flags


I have lost you but one day find you
Then we will never again fear the night
We together aboard this ship that carries all of fear
Aboard the vampires ship
I just sat by you
as you walked o threw
its like I no longer 'mean anything to you
what was I supposed to do
tell you that I love you
after you gn and kissed her
and left me al alone
I just want a moment to forget it
if I could
would  I go back?
No it feel's like the last
time I want to feel
this house is not my home
you levee me inside it all alone
You went and kissed her
now your angry that I'm leveeing
I just want to get away
it to late to say your sorry
because I feel like you never loved me
Now I'm a little sad but like always I'll hang on
every moment you spent crying and every tear you let fall
came from words they keep calling
just because you walked down the hall
they don't know because they cant see
how vary close to the edge your standing
all your friends don't know you that well
if they did would they let you sit alone on a stair well
they will go on with their lives like everything is all rite
your left thinking if they just stood weir you are
they would care just a little bit more
no you wont make a sound
you smile just to fool all the kids who think they know what your going threw
you feel alone in your fight with  fear whispering in your ear
its the only thing that you can hear
every signal breath you take
seems like its harder than the one you took before
they tell you to stay calm
Keep your cool it wont be long
hold your head up don't cry
but they have no idea how close to the edge you are
they don't know because they cant see the scars on your heart
I wont say good bye
but I don't want to see you cry pleas just open your eyes...
why wont you open your eyes?
are you all rite?
pleas don't leave me hear I don't want you to die
I write with raw emotion fear or anger or hurt whatever it is...some days I'm *******....and days like rite now my entire world feels like its falling apart but, never and I mean never will I walk away from someone who needs me...so pleas just...just think about the people in your lives who you fight with, one day they wont be their...dont waste your time on anger....pleas don't just walk away
with my back agents the wall
i sing to them i call
my ravens in the night
you try to **** me and you throw me to the ground
i wont go down without a fight
with my back agents the wall
i know i will fight for them i call
your death will rain blood one  day
i will sing out to the other side
i will bring you death day tonight  
so clam you breathing and close your eyes
its easer when you die
i call to them my ravens of night
they see the fear and feed from the night
so close your eyes say our priers and say good by and good night it is your time
I kind of just sat their numb to the world while Vanaleta whirled around me like a tornado. Throwing anything she saw necessary into the trunk. I couldn't see a pattern in what she threw in. The look on her face told me not to put up a fight, to not ask her why she was inside my room, why their was a creature, man thing flickering like a candle in my room. It didn't hit me until she started to slow down what was going on. She was in my bathing room when i shot up out of bed and promptly fell to my knees. Once i was on my feet the world went black. I crashed to my knees, something caught my shoulders, holding me upright. My vision slowly came back, it felt like being stuck under water looking up at the world tat was above you but not being able to see it clearly, then suddenly braking threw the surface. the next clear thing to me was having my hair held back, and someone gently rubbing circles on my back. It felt like they were trying to be carful, like they were touching an unfamiliar animal for the first time. I remember looking up and seeing Vanaleta run into the room, seeing her eyes go dark, as my world went black again. God i wanted to scream, to make a sound, to so anything. But the Black that pressed down on my vision it felt like a crushing weight, pressing down onto my chest until i gasp, al the air was let out, and it finally pulled me under.
When I am a mother,
my children will be kind,
they will be strong, but they will have a kind mind.
I will be good to my children, but they wont have it easy.
My daughter will know about boys her age and how they automatically assume she's just as ******.
She will know that she can never be replaced, shell know Ill love her always.
When I am a mother my son will know grace.
He will treat others, the way he would like to be faced.
He will know to protect his sister, value her over any of her misters.
When I am a mother I will love my children.
If my daughter decides she's a he,
and if my boy wants to play dress up Barbie.
Because when I am a mother, like I plan to be,
no matter who my children are, what gender they will identify as, even if their body doesn't say that.
No matter who they fall in love with.....When I am a mother, I will love my children...because they are my miracle....and they are the world to me
When I die I will live on.
You will find me weir I've lived for so long.
In between books seems and in poetry readings.
In brush strokes and paintings.
I am a child of literature, the daughter of written things
My skins made out of book pages, my mind out of
the words I read.
When I die yes I will live on.
I will live on in between hard and paper back book seems.
Your tears are like wind chimes,
as your heart brakes so softly,
silent you try but this you cant hide.
You've tried to be sweet, and keep the melody up beet,
but sometimes the wind goes and  dies.
But no your not fragile,
from this you shall grow.
That although your tears fall like wind chimes,
you are stronger than most know.
Yes you are hurt ,
because you feel burnt,
but dear you are a wind chime ,
you've faced so much worse.
From storms in the sky,
and when the earth quakes from bellow,
you have faced so much worse that you must know.
Dear the wind shall come again
jut be carful to who you give your heart to spend
I've realized that I love hard
In the moment I can suffocate love
before it has even been born.
I rush in, in fear of loosing it.
And when they knock me back
I fall apart.
I can say that I'm strong all that I want but I'm not
and even this is just playing the victim
oh woe is me oh woe is I
suffocating love before it can cry.
oh woe is we oh woe is us...
or is it just me that cant see when enough is enough
wow its been a minute hasn't it since I posted....hoped you liked it!
sometimes I wish I could turn back time
to those better days
when I didn't dream of death and want to slip away
I find myself thinking about you
what do you think it would be like
to look in the mirror and hate who you see
to think about your flaws not what I see
some days are better and then some are not
you think your worthless but I think your worth it
you wont hear me because your music's blaring
you draw a picture and write down the names
of every kid or person who made you feel that way
now I guess I must agree when I see you cry I feel a bit of sympathy
I wish I could turn back time
to some better day
when you would pull your ear buds out and listen to what I had to say
your hearts of gold
your mind of silver
made up of beautiful things
don't let words give you a sliver
**your not worthless now stop caring about what they think
your not worthless now stop caring about what they think
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