"materializing" poems
A powerful euphoric sensation rushes to my brain when I inhale the crack ******* leaving me appalled for twenty one seconds to contemplate a super rush of dopamine into my central nervous system that hits me immediately an intense pleasant sensation is felt with a overly joyful feeling. The rush lasts about 2-5 minutes then slowly begins to come down I start to feel a slight paranoia then an uncomfortable feeling sets in midway to the euphoric high and after 10 minute mark I start to crave to repeat the powerful high. Like a thunderbolt energizing my whole body and rushing thoughts come crashing down at the 15 minute mark I begin to feel unsatisfied with myself wanting to repeat the vicious cycle all over again. Once I hit 20 minutes I feel like a cheap ***** who's been used and abused by the drug itself and this feeling of restlessness and dysphoria sets in leaving me once again alone and feeling slightly discontent. **** where can I get more hard again and there I once again start talking to myself creating fictitious illments and materializing maladies. That is chasing the Great White Dragon in a state of misery and despair. I was hooked but now am healed thru the 12 steps and the Grace of Almighty God. I am now 40 days clean and sober...I am sincere and certain not to pick up this again for if I do I'll will ruin my life or better yet put me in a casket. By the Grace of Adonai I praise thee for saving this wretched addict. Now and forevermore in debt with the Lord. Amen!
May 20, 2017
May 20, 2017 at 1:26 AM UTC
Existential exercise
--In & Out--
Eternal ebb and flow, the
Catalyst of the ages
Revolving and funneling
Precipitating and materializing
Quarks and photons into
Histories and futures and
Laughs and lies
Oct 6, 2014
Oct 6, 2014 at 3:15 AM UTC
I've walked into a tunnel.
Following coats,
Dragging behind in
Abandon
The light is slitted
The shape above is
Too Close to my head.
The sharp,
Undecided angles bother me
And a nervous twitch begins.
I imagine it like a funnel,
Sorting population
To pass through in
Close quarters,
Contact guaranteed.
I sneeze
And cough.
My fever smolders
Making my skin chill,
And the thought of disease
Enters, and crowds with me,
Suffocating me to one side-
But not too close-
Don't touch anything.
Fear grows.
I am already sick
But I could get sicker.
Conspiracy drips over my thoughts,
My fever leaving the
normal functioning funnel
In my mind
To be burned away-
materializing in the city-
Around me.
My thoughts bunch
In clusters
And pass all at once,
Leaving waves of nausea
And claustrophobia
As I continue through the tunnel,
Paranoia worsening my symptoms
By the step.
Sep 30, 2014
Sep 30, 2014 at 7:11 PM UTC
A feeling of claustrophobia has begun to confine me.
This swamp of ideas thickens inside me, the murky clay mud making each step twice as demanding as the last. The once clear flowing waters of my dreams seem to be crystallizing, clouding and freezing over, ceasing the stream of my escape. My brain is callusing over incarcerating me, forcing me to experience the hardening of my own being. A reaction inside halting my imagination and depriving me of the ability to call out for help. These thoughts and words I evacuate onto this page only act as a catalyst speeding the process of my inevitable silence. There will come a time when the swamps have solidified, and the waters of my dreams become frozen clouded crystals trapped in place. My brain will develop into a callous, rendering my mind mute, I can feel this metamorphosis materializing yet there is nothing I can do to stop it, the development has already begun, all I can do is wait until a feeling of...
A feeling of claustrophobia has begun to confine me.
Dec 27, 2014
Dec 27, 2014 at 2:54 AM UTC
Nothing compares
To shaking on top of an old
Broken down windmill
With you.
Nothing compares
To silent summers
Sweating in the sweltering heat
Of love.
Nothing compares
To bright blue brick walls
Bringing about a brightening of bleary bland feelings.
Nothing compares
To dark auburn dreams
Drifting down my darling's cheek.
Nothing compares
To radical rants
On ruined romances
raining rivulets of righteousness
Upon those rotten adolescents.
Nothing compares
To myriads of murals
Of most moved men
Materializing
Meandering
In the fields below.
Nothing compares
To falling flat to fear
Fretting and fanning
To finish off
This fantasy.
Oct 8, 2015
Oct 8, 2015 at 9:27 AM UTC
Classroom Discussion
Raucous noise vibrates across
The surface of my ear
Not daring to enter and disrupt
The train of thought
That processes as a machine
Turning, creating, assembling
The wheel of thought spinning round the axle
-------A **** on the rope, a pull on the subconscious
The pulley recognizes the intrusion of an applied force
The wheels halt, as if rust jeopardizes its advance.
The thoughts scatter, a snapped electrical wire snaking in shock;
a cooper waving current racing back to a reality
through black rubber nerves.
The noise registers,
confirming the split of a once continuous wire
Insignificant words- not quite processing,
failing to relay information,
refusing to form a sentence,
still trapped in a realm of limbo
wanting to return to the rhythm of a reverie.
Slipping, falling
the mind surrenders, the electricity dies.
Materializing in a classroom
The cage for intellectual minds
Discussing about.
From one world to another - act, adapt
The bright scientific lights burn
The eyes of the dreamer
Who creates from the dark,
Objects exposed, judged, determined.
No place for the dreamer, who loves
warping reality.
Within the metal box this reality is set.
Bars on the window, an indestructible verticality
Plastic seats, beige, blue, cold
Sit this way, look up, right, like that.
You are my animals now speak, raise a hand,
perform a trick, tell me what I want to hear,
Speak my language of intelligence, be my machine.
May 2, 2011
May 2, 2011 at 5:11 AM UTC
Like continents moving the skin off from over me , slowly..
deliberately with great force on the rest of my being ,
each aspect of myself emerges anew
from the cocoon like first layer of childhood ,
i see myself spiral from the snakeskin left on the floor
a forge is in it’s place
of molten liquid energy running along my meridians.
Serenading every judgement of another character with love shine ,
fresh from the gardens of mine
that bathe
by the sea air
in my root chakra layer... mingles ,
with the heart echo arrow
i send it with.
Known; that the judgements of others are a side product of judgement of self.
Be it , through the eyes of a hopeful parent or a tired teacher , a pig or a nit.... an angel or specter himself -
None equal as true, to the eyes i see through
on the matter my being is composed of.
Integrating stillness in my vivacious bones , conscious movements flow , stabilizing the unknown into the known , materializing the un-materialized subconscious realm.
Moving through visible reality shifts and mind rifts , exploring
the astral world around me
whilst moving through physical boundaries of borders
Developing organs in my subtle body .
Manifesting my foundations for stamina.
What a joy it is to live from the heart.
Jun 19, 2014
Jun 19, 2014 at 11:32 AM UTC
In your eyes, I see my own.
I waited so long
for your presence to become real.
In that crucial moment,
I felt something
changing my awareness,
and the soundless vessels were filled
with joyful abundance—
colored by
pain and sadness
that time goes so fast
in underrated moments.
Materializing all these silent dreams,
this one little girl who is growing,
watching me with defenseless trust
like nobody has before.
Gestures, smiles, brief anger, and talks—
I gather them in endless memory.
Sweet Melody, my Purpose
from the first breath,
you chose me,
and I felt beautifully complete.
I know that a real journey
begins through terra incognita
Every day is surprisingly different.
I accept with relief my passing.
I see your blooming wisdom
in thinking smiles, and authentic recognition.
My Daughter, I want to give
as much love and acceptance as you need.
Taking your hand and letting you go
when you’re ready
to walk into life on your own—
watching the indigo sky.
Breathing freely, without anxiety.
After each fall, another resurrection comes.
I am here, I hope to stay a long while
to finally return to my last home,
without fear, with some tears.
Please, keep embracing this existence
with good and lost people around.
Be sure that I will smile
in your still-beating heart
giving you warmth.
.
Mar 6, 2025
Mar 6, 2025 at 6:44 PM UTC
We were just kids,learning the life
A 14, your birthday a big surprise
At 15, a bunch of kids seizing the hopes
sitting for the test, learning the ropes
I hope to see you soon to know you're okay
I hope I meant to you as you meant to me
3 years later,we've chosen a different way
We passed in order to be free
We thought we would stick together
But lives change like the weather
Our voice would echoe in the wells of light
If I knew you were all copying just fine
Are you materializing your far-to-reach dreams
'cause I try to,the world upside down how it feels?
Did you notice the leaves changing in the fall?
We'll be grown ups in a while, still miss you all
I hope to see you soon to know you are okay
I know we chased down the end of the rainbow
3 years later,we've chosen a different shade
In order to be us,no one to follow
Aug 7, 2014
Aug 7, 2014 at 4:49 PM UTC
When I was little,
Like, between 8 or 11-
I used to wonder,
Standing with the fiery Iowa
Sun slowly blistering my shoulders;
Where does the time go
When it flies away?
And if time sometimed
Slowed, stopped, stood stock-
Still, why could I not
See its feet?
If...
(When)
I was 8, 8 years from Mom's
Belly, where was 9 for me?
Born: Thursday, May 9, 1963.
So, I can do the rudimentary
Addition: 5/9/71, I'm exactly...
8. 2 weeks from 3rd grade being
Over. Happy. Birthday. Presents.
Cake, ice cream, a baseball game
To hurry to, Teddy, we'll open
Your presents and have cake when
We get home from the ballgame.
Ugh. Baseball. All I'm going to be
Thinking obsessing about is what
Lies beneath colorful wrapping.
Time has a special
Bitter flavor when you hope and pray
The ball won't be hit to you, ever.
Baseball is full of confused time-
Time scurrying and rolling away from you
In the form of a stupid large white stitched
Ball that delightfully challenges you to be
Quicker than it - Time then languishing,
Elongating, becoming the torture of impatience
Trying to stand in line and wait with that
Virtuous virtue that time ever mocks.
So it's the next day, and I'm 1
Day past 8. I'm a clock, then?
I stored memories of 2, 3? Years
Ago? And I stored scars, dumb
Ideas materializing as real
Blood, pain, stitches, howling...
Did I store time inside my
Mind, heart, left knee, right
I didn't know. Life is often
Too big a concept to really
Grasp when you're eaten
By 8 mosquitoes.
And time slows down to
A scaly crawdad claw
That won't let go of your
Left pinky finger.
I thought, as I rode my bike
Down the middle of the street,
What about next year? 5/9/72?
Ninth birthday? Where did that
Day live? Was it millions and millions
Of miles Earth had to travel to line
Itself up clockwork-universe style
With the time that spun, tilted, and
Pushed the earth through space?
What if I died? Did the time
God gave me go back to Him?
Like I was a human library of congress
Book to spend a short amount of
()
And then be returned to my
Original Owner?
Nov 17, 2013
Nov 17, 2013 at 3:55 PM UTC
*Hand me another gift sweetheat
How sincere
I adore the idea of materializing our love
Or is it even love
Or lust
Or anything but lonliness
Because I don't like cold sheets
& neither do you
But I think we both know
The sheets are always cold
Cold with the thought
That maybe it's not the sheets
It's us*
a.m.
Dec 2, 2013
Dec 2, 2013 at 11:58 PM UTC
there's a door
I ignore it at night.
I can see the shadows
slipping underneath it
to some unknown place where
grabby things are living
and biding their time
til opportune, they can
****** me.
when all the lights are off
I am in the quick scuttle
to my bedroom, cellphone aloft
for the tiny blue glow
that will protect me
from monsters
unless they are in
the air, materializing in my
lungs to scare me from
the inside out.
and even when I
have ducked fully under
the covers of my bed
I lie, flat, rigid. No
breath, in case dark things
folded and slithering underneath
my clothes, in the
drawers, or twined
around the hangers
can see the movement
and take the opportunity
of me captive in my
bed,
to pounce.
Oct 12, 2010
Oct 12, 2010 at 9:36 AM UTC
Hanging in a leaden sky
Gulls, in tight formation, fly.
Heavy snow's cascading flare
Sodium sharpness filling air.
Heaving waves carousing fen
Ocean's scent, aloft.. .and then
The skiff with oarsman pulling tight
Materializing from the night
Braving, now, a heavy sea
Puffing pipe, irreverently.
Oblivious of mounting gale
Abandons oar to set a sail
Skimming sharp to gravel beach
Shrugs aside hazards reach.
Wading into pounding foam
Smiling thought of *** at home.
[email protected]
Feb 15, 2025
Feb 15, 2025 at 11:13 PM UTC
Holding my breath so I can take control.
Feelings unrest, I can’t seem to grow.
Problems unsolved, it’s an overload.
Losing my mind right before I explode.
I said I’m foretold to be the truth.
Swear an oath, but it didn’t bare any roots.
At any given moment one could lose his youth. Don’t know who he is cause he wears another mans boots.
Walking irritations, bearing all the earnings of their fruits.
Limits are escalating and I’m tarring down the roof.
A Course to deviation, unable to see any other routes .
Blind to temptations.
The struggle fits me like a suit.
Holding my breath so I can take control.
Feelings unrest, I can’t seem to grow.
Problems unsolved, it’s an overload.
Losing my mind right before I explode.
Time is deteriorating, everyday life of a destitute.
Waters are evaporating and I’m thirsty for whatever’s absolute.
Problems eternally materializing, full of sorrow and solitude.
Emptiness continuously multiplying, like a disease it pollutes.
Visions are tremendously horrifying, wishing to **** the sound and become a mute.
The story’s are ultimately glorifying, ghoulish torment and Chaos to distribute.
Nothing but hesitation.
Loneliness overtaking, going through all these hoops.
Screams are instantly mesmerizing, the ending is what They Pursue.
Holding my breath so I can take control.
Feelings unrest, I can’t seem to grow.
Problems unsolved, it’s an overload.
Losing my mind right before I explode.
Dec 31, 2020
Dec 31, 2020 at 2:32 AM UTC
To face the fear of being liquid, I go under, float the drift. Leave the boat behind, no worries. I am in no hurry to school with the rest, colorful parrot fish, at home in the depths.
I am not afraid of sharks materializing from the inked abyss. The nothing in their soulless eyes is just black-bottomed assessing - not one of us.
In a lazuli sea, the barracuda cartel tails me, their silver barrels rule the reef, leering grins glinting diamonds, hungry pirates seeking gold hidden in my tender lobes.
Yellow-bellied sea snakes swarm, their sinuously wicked heads disappear and reappear on ebb and crest of every wave, see their split tongues read the chemistry of each exhaled breath.
A swollen catch unsought. Forsworn. What's lost will be reborn. From within, yolk still tethered, resting on the bottom. Net a dying heart, return it to the deep, watch it roll and flutter, remember how to beat.
Mar 21, 2016
Mar 21, 2016 at 11:57 AM UTC
Beneath the surface my humility dwell
In holes leading straight to hell
With love deeper than the ocean floor
For that special someone I once adored
Imagine black or consuming white
An emptiness that's filled with night
An endless yearning for all that's left
A mirror image of all regrets
Accelerating particles
As thoughts turn to waves
Quickly materializing
Then fading to gray
...
Mar 9, 2014
Mar 9, 2014 at 1:58 PM UTC
a sonorous and straightforward
declaration of contentment
your eyes are poetry
and my heart is drenched with
calm hopefulness
the mind and core synchronize
with intention to ascend into
a novel vibrating frequency
neither party knew was accessible
liberating, raw creative energy
to thrive with another
who strives for endless truth
striking the transition toward
enlightenment with a
partner in survival
through any challenge
put forth by the
ever enchanting, ever expanding
universe we are
immersed in
promises of freedom are fully materializing
unlike anything previously sensed
everything is starting
to fall into
place
Sep 27, 2014
Sep 27, 2014 at 2:15 AM UTC
It Was One Of Those Nights
When The Abysses Of Sorrow
Put Their Weight On The Heart
Making You Wish You Tear It Apart.
When The Fractures Of The Soul
Expand From The Deepest Void
Emerging In Waves Of Salt
Filling the Eyes Wide Shut Painfully
When Your Insignificance and Hopelessness
Are Pouring Through The Crimson Rivers
And You Want To Let Them Flow Open
Begging Life To Have Mercy
The Cloud Came Floating Over Me
A Storm Of Pure Chaotic Darkness
Animated By A Sea Of Lightning
Reasoning Of Silent Thunders
A Slow Descent Of Majesty In The Realm
A Gate To Relief From Despair
Coming Face To Face With Its Creation
Feeling The Pain Of Its Tortured Soul
A Gray Form Drawing On the Black Vapor
Emerging From The Infinity Of Time
Feeling From The Sorrow Of The Caller
Materializing In A Peaceful Face
Eyes Shut As They Can Not Dare To See
Lips Closed As They Can Not Dare To Taste
Light Hair Floating In Evanescence
Approaching Slowly To My Agonizing Face
The Eyes Opening Slowly, Letting Flow Moonlight Rays
The Lips Carefully Dividing, Startdust Dropping On My Face
Winds Of Compassion Entering My Soul
Twin Love Reviving Dark Ashes
As I Saw The Face Faded Away
The Cloud Returned To The Void Of Creation
I Knew That I Will Cut Widely The Red Rivers
For The Light Is Not Meant For Me
Warlock
Mar 10, 2010
Mar 10, 2010 at 1:16 PM UTC
And leave it to Turturro
To steal the movie again,
A tour-de-force in a single character,
Repeatedly, consistently . . .
Except maybe one time.
"Raging Bull" 1980:
Turturro was "Man at Table,"
Uncredited, of course,
A man of no words,
A role difficult, constraining for any
Would-be Richard Burton,
Some shrew-taming Petruchio,
Over the top & out of a job,
Again.
Ask any director who
Directed in the 1950s and 60s?
"Difficult to handle," says Unanimous,
Auteurs & Schlock Filmmakers,
Alike.
Turturro too, needs special handling,
Or Jesus Quintana will chew up the scenery,
Emilio Lopez will be sneaky-sneaky-sneaky,
Materializing without warning over & over
Again.
Turturro: veteran of 60+ films,
*Barton Fink, Miller's Crossing,
Fading ****** The Color of Money,
Do the Right Thing,
O Brother, Where Art Thou?*
Turturro TV: Frazier, Monk & Miami Vice.
And others.
Turturro: a Brooklyn boy, Italian,
Roman-Catholic, the son of Katherine,
An amateur jazz singer who worked in a
Navy yard during World War II, &
Nicholas Turturro, a carpenter &
Construction worker who fought as a
Navy sailor on D-Day.
Turturro: attended the State University of
New York at New Paltz, completed his
MFA at the Yale School of Drama.
A life most worthy, capped off with
Amedeo & Diego, his two sons.
So, I'd like to thank The Academy,
In advance yet decades overdue:
A Lifetime Achievement Award, Johnny.
Recognition over the long haul.
Sep 24, 2016
Sep 24, 2016 at 1:16 AM UTC
Waiting for that creaking sound of girls hostel
he waited for the entire night thinking of the day to blossom.
Devastation of those unlatching tensions
revolutionized his dreams
which were burnt alive
by those thunderous storms of love.
He remember that old odor of her tears
mingled with cosmetics on her face
whose fragrance almost demanded
unpredictable love
to which he bowed with his heart.
Breezy winds flew
as unintended emotions brewed out
materializing the enlightenment that i feel in love
wetting the brevity of my poetry with those wet dreams!
Hypnotized by the lavished love
which tuned frequency of my intolerable heart
instantiated
my vocal cords to reverberate in a different passion
in a musical way...in the direction of wind
trying to make it resonate with nature
I LOVE YOU
Jul 11, 2010
Jul 11, 2010 at 3:54 AM UTC
******* the thumb of hopelessness I grew up
Watching life die in despair I threw up
I walked away to find a new way
Where one gets his own say
Like a mad scientist I experimented with my soul
My fatuousness which only created in me a deep black hole
My life was always black and white
Faded from the colors of happiness's sight
Death and gloom on the doorstep
Thats what I always felt when sometimes I used to take a breath
The fragments of my soul falling like falling hair
Thats what was only realised by me there
Feeling of sadness and tormentation was only left to share
The brunt of which my inner self could never bear
My blood seemed like hot lava in the heart
Pumping blood and materializing hatred was what was done by my heart
I was taught torture and pain
Never to use my own brain
So I did what I had always dreamt of
I did what what my soul died every second for
I killed myself, but that's why I on the first place lived for
The ecstacy that laid in there
I gave my soul to share.
Jan 29, 2013
Jan 29, 2013 at 2:49 PM UTC
Enraptured by our sinful freedom,
we worshipped the moment.
The wolves of wisdom at the heels of
our frolicking hares.
They haven't caught up yet,
don't hesitate.
You admitted you love her
but your eyes were flooded with my own.
How could I speak
when my dreams were materializing.
You grabbed me when I had never kissed before.
Jul 14, 2015
Jul 14, 2015 at 4:58 PM UTC
It’s not enough to love you,
I want to inhale you,
Breathe you,
Feel you between
The chambers of my heart,
Your sweet oxygen
Materializing
Into totalizing
Oblivion,
Mingling
Bodies and blood,
Spirit confounded,
Compounded
Into this unitary union.
Fruition found
My bones, bounded
To this body and earth,
Rhythmically versed,
Your gentle breathing,
Keep him with me
By becoming in tune
With spirit, body,
I swoon.
Jun 17, 2020
Jun 17, 2020 at 12:41 AM UTC