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"apologetically" poems
Broccoli in a white lamp shade cast shadowy face tattoos to mark the unjoustly. The festival in background is throbbing in directly contrasting sound, to the art nouveau it's sleeping with. Each vegan burger stand vomits exquisite neon. However the collage itself is apologetically brown. Theatre masks and DJs, VR and a Just Dance floor set, a sprint before midnight, a sprint after discount ethanol; so I gaze and perhaps ponder for a friend. And yet when counting the heads, I find I needn’t more than my own to hands for the few middle-aged supermarket clerks
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Sep 29, 2018
Sep 29, 2018 at 4:01 PM UTC
Consumer's Solstice
Today is the anniversary of another trip around the sun for the woman I love more than any other. Happy Birthday to my mother, Elise who drew me a picture of the female reproductive system and labeled the parts and explained the process of ************ before my body ever had a chance to frighten me who taught me the word ****** and taught me that there was nothing silly, or shameful, or icky about the word or having one. who taught me that people are inherently the same and humans are valuable and the meaning of the word humanity and the value of justice and the meaning of the word "injustice" and consistently confronted it often uncomfortably but un-apologetically whenever we found ourselves in its presence Who responded to compliments about my appearance as a child with humble disinterested grace and taught me with intention in everything she said and did that what is valuable about me is my mind and my heart kindness spirit ethics righteousness some may say too much of the latter who taught me about Janis, and Sylvia, and Frida and Roe v Wade and punctuation and articulation and diction and the Serenity Prayer, and that Galway Kinnel poem about what is still possible... I love you Mom. I could go on forever. My love and my gratitude for you - and what you have gifted and instilled in me - is bigger than the universe and eternity and possibility. So glad you are with the sweetest child in the whole wide world this evening. Loving and sending you love and bright light so hard. Micah Haverly  2015
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Jun 7, 2015
Jun 7, 2015 at 5:38 PM UTC
Another Trip Around the Sun
Today is the anniversary of another trip around the sun for the woman I love more than any other. Happy Birthday to my mother, Elise who drew me a picture of the female reproductive system and labeled the parts and explained the process of ************ before my body ever had a chance to frighten me who taught me the word ****** and taught me that there was nothing silly, or shameful, or icky about the word or having one. who taught me that people are inherently the same and humans are valuable and the meaning of the word humanity and the value of justice and the meaning of the word "injustice" and consistently confronted it often uncomfortably but un-apologetically whenever we found ourselves in its presence Who responded to compliments about my appearance as a child with humble disinterested grace and taught me with intention in everything she said and did that what is valuable about me is my mind and my heart kindness spirit ethics righteousness some may say too much of the latter who taught me about Janis, and Sylvia, and Frida and Roe v Wade and punctuation and articulation and diction and the Serenity Prayer, and that Galway Kinnel poem about what is still possible... I love you Mom. I could go on forever. My love and my gratitude for you - and what you have gifted and instilled in me - is bigger than the universe and eternity and possibility. So glad you are with the sweetest child in the whole wide world this evening. Loving and sending you love and bright light so hard. Micah Haverly  2015
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45
he started counting cigarettes the way he did every other night he counted them like flower petals with "she loves me" and "she loves me not" throwing them afterwards to the street below. he started counting cigarettes the way he did every other night he counted them like flower petals but he inhaled the smoke of the burning petals and she filled his lungs and lingered there for what felt like years. he started counting cigarettes the way he did every other night keeping in mind the seconds he lost with each stick he banged his head against his fist and cried apologetically. he started counting cigarettes the way he did every other night but, today, he thought he should stop but he couldn't help it it was the only thing left that reminded him of her - her nicotine lips and her warm glow. he started counting cigarettes the way he did every other night he tried to count the times he said he'd forget or he said he'd move on he took another drag, flicked it to the air, and said, "that's it for today."
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Oct 22, 2014
Oct 22, 2014 at 11:57 AM UTC
he started counting cigarettes
a man sits at the bottom of the steps not blocking the path but he cannot be missed begging alms from the myriad who climb and descend in droves the cup he holds is barely weighted by the meagre amount he has received he patiently wishes goodwill to all who pass despite their lack of offerings even though the majority will ignore purposefully averting their eyes or apologetically decline to part with any lose change instead saving their coins to pay their entry to marvel at the gilded interior of the church whose teachings include "love thy neighbour"
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Apr 7, 2023
Apr 7, 2023 at 2:42 PM UTC
thy neighbour
You ask me to enter to the tilt of your head towards the computer screen and see, in two words my definition - bipolar disorder. You do not look at me, just talk at me medication? last relapse? severity of episodes? You count failings, the moments in which I have lost my mind and you reproach me for them. You, as you two-finger-type a cold clinical echo of me, I, on command, recite the past transgressions of my sanity and you have me – three inches tall on my knees, in a disease that thrice almost cost me my life and in your Jobsworth view you tell me I will get ill, as if this weren't a fact I fight and fear daily. You with your tunic, blue, cold as your indifference, announce this, as if calling time - self-important, unfeeling, with one eye on your watch. And I smile at you apologetically, honestly offering up my faith, prayer, medication compliance, self awareness, begrudged reliance on those I love to wave the red flag if the waters I get into are too deep. You are curt with your nod - as if all this is folly between now and the inevitable. My recovery, my striding, my passion and profession - All folly. You are doing the last offices on quick time because your time is precious and short and not to be wasted on crazy dreamers with barely a shot in hell But even with every mental regression, psychotic expression manic obsession and abyss of depression - still, still, the world needs more of mes and much less of yous. So make your disclaimer and write your reports I'll chant, share the truth in the streets and courts
0
Sep 2, 2013
Sep 2, 2013 at 1:26 PM UTC
Lepers Rise
You ask me to enter to the tilt of your head towards the computer screen and see, in two words my definition - bipolar disorder. You do not look at me, just talk at me medication? last relapse? severity of episodes? You count failings, the moments in which I have lost my mind and you reproach me for them. You, as you two-finger-type a cold clinical echo of me, I, on command, recite the past transgressions of my sanity and you have me – three inches tall on my knees, in a disease that thrice almost cost me my life and in your Jobsworth view you tell me I will get ill, as if this weren't a fact I fight and fear daily. You with your tunic, blue, cold as your indifference, announce this, as if calling time - self-important, unfeeling, with one eye on your watch. And I smile at you apologetically, honestly offering up my faith, prayer, medication compliance, self awareness, begrudged reliance on those I love to wave the red flag if the waters I get into are too deep. You are curt with your nod - as if all this is folly between now and the inevitable. My recovery, my striding, my passion and profession - All folly. You are doing the last offices on quick time because your time is precious and short and not to be wasted on crazy dreamers with barely a shot in hell But even with every mental regression, psychotic expression manic obsession and abyss of depression - still, still, the world needs more of mes and much less of yous. So make your disclaimer and write your reports I'll chant, share the truth in the streets and courts
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31
Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm preaching a lesson, And the merest mention, Might cause social tension. We live in an age of, New things, super computing, Mood rings, school shootings, Fast Commuting, Mass Polluting If you've got a question, You should try and ask it, Try and draw attention to, Oceans full of grime and plastic. Drastic measures are needed, Why can't they see it? We poison the earth, And then try to seed it. You might choke from the smoke, Everyday Beijing breathing, Our enemy is cloaked, But free eyes see him. Squeezing the last drops, From the planet won't work because Before the last's tree's chopped, We have to plant with love. Now who are these men, With the Greatest greed? Depriving people with a pen, Of their basic needs. The proceeds of their misdeeds, Flow back to the system, The corporate creed, Profits off human divisions. Listen by this time, We've all had enough of it, The mind control message, Still tells me, "I'm loving it!' Our generation is facing Annihilation in our age But the politicians on stage Fight about the minimum wage. Debate over free-speech, Is finished we won it, We won't get arrested and beat, This isn't a G-8 summit. Don't sell your life to the Company, For a car and a home, Claim your right to be a somebody, Your life is your own. I find it sad and pathetic, People are attracted magnetically, Or genetically to create, Something we can't see. A father in threes, Behaving apologetically and ethically correctly, Directly see the universe's apathy. People always have faith, Governments will save us, But at a suitable date, won't hesitate to invade us. Everybody's cynical, About the media. Remaining uncritical, Of internet encyclopedias. Obedience Blind, Is worth less than nothing. Read, think, search, find, Catch the fake world bluffing. There is a solution, You can break their control, You heart starts the revolution, Save your soul.
0
Nov 13, 2010
Nov 13, 2010 at 5:01 PM UTC
Social Justice
Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm preaching a lesson, And the merest mention, Might cause social tension. We live in an age of, New things, super computing, Mood rings, school shootings, Fast Commuting, Mass Polluting If you've got a question, You should try and ask it, Try and draw attention to, Oceans full of grime and plastic. Drastic measures are needed, Why can't they see it? We poison the earth, And then try to seed it. You might choke from the smoke, Everyday Beijing breathing, Our enemy is cloaked, But free eyes see him. Squeezing the last drops, From the planet won't work because Before the last's tree's chopped, We have to plant with love. Now who are these men, With the Greatest greed? Depriving people with a pen, Of their basic needs. The proceeds of their misdeeds, Flow back to the system, The corporate creed, Profits off human divisions. Listen by this time, We've all had enough of it, The mind control message, Still tells me, "I'm loving it!' Our generation is facing Annihilation in our age But the politicians on stage Fight about the minimum wage. Debate over free-speech, Is finished we won it, We won't get arrested and beat, This isn't a G-8 summit. Don't sell your life to the Company, For a car and a home, Claim your right to be a somebody, Your life is your own. I find it sad and pathetic, People are attracted magnetically, Or genetically to create, Something we can't see. A father in threes, Behaving apologetically and ethically correctly, Directly see the universe's apathy. People always have faith, Governments will save us, But at a suitable date, won't hesitate to invade us. Everybody's cynical, About the media. Remaining uncritical, Of internet encyclopedias. Obedience Blind, Is worth less than nothing. Read, think, search, find, Catch the fake world bluffing. There is a solution, You can break their control, You heart starts the revolution, Save your soul.
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73
One of these days, the glimmer in your eye that knocks me out will actually break me, And then my words and reservoir of tears will shatter into shards of truth That stick into and stain your hands when you apologetically try to sweep them up. It’s not a ******* secret that I live for the hours that I can pretend that maybe, One of these nights, I’ll be with you in more than just my mind and yours As you grip the banister to ascend to silken sheets and wine-fed dreams. I bite my tongue so words don’t leak, and lick my lips so as to keep them here, Rather than the curving place behind your ear… the stalwart jaw… the capable lips that draw me near… The things I’d do were waters clear… The answer’s written in an inky, contractual ultimatum that squashes the fruit of imagination. And yet, a fierce, poisonous force rises from the depths of a desirous ***** within, And whispers to me that with contracts, there are ways to blot, smear, and tear. It scares me. I lock it in a closet of infectious notions that I’ll slowly dematerialize with clean blood, But rivers of the stuff won’t run clear when they’re magnetized so close to the sin That doesn’t feel like sin, and that beckons as a beacon of bright and beautiful things. It’s a difficult conclusion to arrive at: I must be the bad guy. I am the mind’s mistress, the secret-almost-lover, the temptation, the promise, the snake… Yet also the forgotten, the disappointed, the frustrated, the one who MUST keep control, the Saint. We both know that I’ll keep floating back; my curiosity, passion, fascination, and need to learn and share Will always countervail the weight of my exasperation and guilt-laden vexation, Until one of these days when the glimmer in your eye that knocks me out actually breaks me.
0
Aug 26, 2012
Aug 26, 2012 at 7:10 AM UTC
One of These Days
One of these days, the glimmer in your eye that knocks me out will actually break me, And then my words and reservoir of tears will shatter into shards of truth That stick into and stain your hands when you apologetically try to sweep them up. It’s not a ******* secret that I live for the hours that I can pretend that maybe, One of these nights, I’ll be with you in more than just my mind and yours As you grip the banister to ascend to silken sheets and wine-fed dreams. I bite my tongue so words don’t leak, and lick my lips so as to keep them here, Rather than the curving place behind your ear… the stalwart jaw… the capable lips that draw me near… The things I’d do were waters clear… The answer’s written in an inky, contractual ultimatum that squashes the fruit of imagination. And yet, a fierce, poisonous force rises from the depths of a desirous ***** within, And whispers to me that with contracts, there are ways to blot, smear, and tear. It scares me. I lock it in a closet of infectious notions that I’ll slowly dematerialize with clean blood, But rivers of the stuff won’t run clear when they’re magnetized so close to the sin That doesn’t feel like sin, and that beckons as a beacon of bright and beautiful things. It’s a difficult conclusion to arrive at: I must be the bad guy. I am the mind’s mistress, the secret-almost-lover, the temptation, the promise, the snake… Yet also the forgotten, the disappointed, the frustrated, the one who MUST keep control, the Saint. We both know that I’ll keep floating back; my curiosity, passion, fascination, and need to learn and share Will always countervail the weight of my exasperation and guilt-laden vexation, Until one of these days when the glimmer in your eye that knocks me out actually breaks me.
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21
I've always called love b u l l s h i t. a thing for moronic gigglers and naive dreamers because no one can ever stay t o g e t h e r. there is no one person matched perfectly for each other person, there is no destiny or soul mate or love at first s i g h t. we can pretend but there is no such thing as f o r e v e r.
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Mar 11, 2014
Mar 11, 2014 at 6:39 PM UTC
apologetically pessimistic
1.This wheelchair never was a River, even when powered, it did splutter yes, it's equivalent in movements, listening silently it always sits out, away from the flow to the ecstatic sea. A wheel chair is a caricature of loneliness. 2.Ever tried to see it for what it really is? "We don't remember, doesn't catches the eye" Not like a chair of any other kind easily does, A chair regal looks up, straight at the face in the manner it demands what it wants, "Let me tell you this, listen or leave" 3.A wheel chair keeps on looking at it's arrested feet apologetically and sighs, if you have an inner ear sensitive, hear this, I am not even a chair, an apology for movement,spoken in a voice stiffed. It speaks incessantly, in a voice within itself, wordless to a world, that has closed it's doors. 4.A wheelchair easily forgets things as it can't keep bitterness alive always. who cares to speak a few words to a wheelchair? all it is to be done is push it in silence through aisles . from a destination of pain to any other, slightly higher. Stairs of every kind, for a wheelchair is a foreign land. 5.Yet in impeded wheelchairs moves many a dream, broken before their time or crusted with force. Or remains of a day, too long and  busily spent. On every wheelchair a heart adamantly beats, "I would, I would" it beats with a rare grit.
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Apr 17, 2017
Apr 17, 2017 at 9:44 AM UTC
The wheel chair
in my obliviousness inadvertent and unintentional some may say as usual i disturbed a wasp nest the heightened bombilation an anger-pitched droning unheard somehow therefore unheeded until that impolite ***** a warning sting through t-shirt to torso followed by a few more in quick succession set my legs moving apologetically away with hands raised chastened and contrite both in supplication and in order to remove the offending article of clothing the oversensitive wasp having become trapped within defensively stinging as nature directs to be honest its overzealous instincts began to feel more like spite than mere survival
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Aug 24, 2023
Aug 24, 2023 at 11:52 AM UTC
apology not accepted
Today I Dreamed That I was sitting with her by a small, rectangle pond And I was talking to her. And as she cooled, and sweetly, expectantly, almost apologetically, changed the subject, I loosened my hair, and began to pull from the pond as it began to cloy and foamed Handfuls, upon handfuls Of knotted, used hair bands. From all the times I had sat there before And talked to her About you.
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May 1, 2014
May 1, 2014 at 4:46 AM UTC
I want to stop listening to what she shares with you
Babe called me Film Noir Said my head was darker than onyx, ashes and ebony, And I was soaking in a solace that was felt with my presence, Like hot candle wax dripped down the spine. Film Noir with more than fifty shades of grey, And messages I liked to leave in his pants pocket "God is Dead" to deepen his uncertainty of faith. Merlot on my tongue like a mouthful of blood while I watch him unravel. Babe called me Film Noir Said I always felt like home, Like home was hell and made you anxious and suicidal, Like a door with nothing behind it. Film Noir that was art and lovely and terrifying. And appreciated for it's talent of deepening wounds that were thought to be already healed. Then kissed them apologetically, stitching them closed, But so insincere. Maybe now he's my Film Noir, So tragically ending our love. Like broken china on the floor of the parlor, So precious to look at, but unusable and a waste. Till the day he took his life Babe called me Film Noir.
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Nov 20, 2014
Nov 20, 2014 at 11:02 PM UTC
Film Noir
thankful that the promised storm did not arrive umbrellas were collapsed used as walking sticks or were discarded as unwelcome rain and clouds of grey drifted apologetically stood in expectant awe we were rapturous as blue skies stretched from hillock to tor to witness a cowboy dressed in white the hero-in-waiting with a sunset to ride towards his happily-ever-after a pastoral beauty in flowering green inseparable thus far tradition be ****** now adorned with a bonded eternity on their fingers to match that which is long-rooted in their hearts
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Aug 18, 2023
Aug 18, 2023 at 8:50 AM UTC
a wedding on a hill
I knew how I've felt and its not your fault... You did love me best, but I thought all wrong. I didn't have faith enough to believe- you'd really do all you've promised me. I didn't know the magnitude of your feeling for me, nor could Imagine someone like you can really want to be with me. Forever you'd say & I never understood, couldn't fathom it, not after all the bitterness in my life. Someone like you whose always looking at the positives, where I've only focused on the negatives. I didn't know that you'd show me all the possibilities there was to being loved so completely! My hurt consumed me, I never saw you, not in the way you've needed me to. Too consumed in my own bitter resentments to reflect on the agony being inflected upon you so much so, that I've dissipated whatever it were we could of be and had! All I could do was hoard the love you've given, selfishly cling to it and store it away. Never did I allow myself to return the favors of your endearments, I wasn't able to, my blindness and hurtful neglect wouldn't allow me to cave in. You knew, I came broken, confused, lonely & so used knew too, I'd been dealt poorly & left beaten, bruised inside, well as out, I couldn't risk another let down or set back. My mind, nor my heart wouldn't be persuaded, I allowed my body to feed off your energy, allowed you to manifest within my flowery walls a safe heaven of ****** bliss. While I was retaining the very best parts of ME - away ..... Away from your longing soul and your beautiful wondrous heart. I didn't know how to let go of my past, I didn't understand the beauty of all that you possessed, someone like you wanted me for everything that I am, good, bad & the very worst parts of me. You didn't worry, long as you had me all the fibers of my being-- "He" ie (YOU) only wished to see me happy, in love and by your side. I can't blame you for letting go, I can't forget all the good times and memories we've shared. It may just be too late, yet I'd like to think one day, maybe next lifetime perhaps..... For now I'll say, how very sorry I am because even as the words left your lips, I failed to agree or really understand. Truth be told it couldn't be help. So I hope you'll forgive me, for I truly, wholeheartedly, honestly, mournfully - apologetically Didn't Know! Always Me Ayeshah ™ ®          K.A.C.L.N ©      All right reserved ® Copyright 1977 - Present
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Apr 15, 2015
Apr 15, 2015 at 10:50 PM UTC
DIDN'T KNOW!!!
I knew how I've felt and its not your fault... You did love me best, but I thought all wrong. I didn't have faith enough to believe- you'd really do all you've promised me. I didn't know the magnitude of your feeling for me, nor could Imagine someone like you can really want to be with me. Forever you'd say & I never understood, couldn't fathom it, not after all the bitterness in my life. Someone like you whose always looking at the positives, where I've only focused on the negatives. I didn't know that you'd show me all the possibilities there was to being loved so completely! My hurt consumed me, I never saw you, not in the way you've needed me to. Too consumed in my own bitter resentments to reflect on the agony being inflected upon you so much so, that I've dissipated whatever it were we could of be and had! All I could do was hoard the love you've given, selfishly cling to it and store it away. Never did I allow myself to return the favors of your endearments, I wasn't able to, my blindness and hurtful neglect wouldn't allow me to cave in. You knew, I came broken, confused, lonely & so used knew too, I'd been dealt poorly & left beaten, bruised inside, well as out, I couldn't risk another let down or set back. My mind, nor my heart wouldn't be persuaded, I allowed my body to feed off your energy, allowed you to manifest within my flowery walls a safe heaven of ****** bliss. While I was retaining the very best parts of ME - away ..... Away from your longing soul and your beautiful wondrous heart. I didn't know how to let go of my past, I didn't understand the beauty of all that you possessed, someone like you wanted me for everything that I am, good, bad & the very worst parts of me. You didn't worry, long as you had me all the fibers of my being-- "He" ie (YOU) only wished to see me happy, in love and by your side. I can't blame you for letting go, I can't forget all the good times and memories we've shared. It may just be too late, yet I'd like to think one day, maybe next lifetime perhaps..... For now I'll say, how very sorry I am because even as the words left your lips, I failed to agree or really understand. Truth be told it couldn't be help. So I hope you'll forgive me, for I truly, wholeheartedly, honestly, mournfully - apologetically Didn't Know! Always Me Ayeshah ™ ®          K.A.C.L.N ©      All right reserved ® Copyright 1977 - Present
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113
I am unapologetic. In the way I allow the universe to swallow me whole In the way love's possession leaves me helpless In the way my words are lost among yours In the way I dream in poetics In the way my raw emotions are truthfully expressed I am apologetically unapologetic.
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Mar 25, 2018
Mar 25, 2018 at 11:12 PM UTC
Unapologetic
It’s days like these that I feel the worst about everything I do. Cheerful cherry blossoms spiral around my black cloud, landing apologetically on my slouching shoulders. The birds seem to quiet as I pass by, refusing to meet my frigid eyes. It’s the same routine, addicted like nicotine. Days pass by and my spiteful poetry grows, prisoners screaming behind muffled reminders. All they yearn for is to be as free as the tide slowly teasing, yet one day we will become those crashing waves, luring other dreamers to awake from the haze.
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May 12, 2013
May 12, 2013 at 11:02 PM UTC
addicted like nicotine
We had come across this grotto in The cliff near Cater’s Pride, And were swimming in the shallows When we took a look inside, There was just a tiny entrance that Had broadened to a hall, And the strange effect of lighting seemed Reflected off each wall. There were seashells, there were gemstones Shining, in the rocky face, And a narrow path around a pool With depths we could not trace, But the water was so clear and blue, And warm, it must be said, That Cathy cried, ‘Can this be true?’ While I just shook my head. We sat back on the ledge and dangled Feet down in the blue, We didn’t know that danger loomed And nor, I think, would you, But then some minor turbulence Disturbed the perfect pool, And suddenly three heads appeared To laugh, and play the fool. Three nymphs with sparkling eyes and teeth Who splashed, their laughter pealed And echoed round the grotto, as Their presence was revealed, They saw us and they beckoned us As if to swim and play, If only caution reckoned in The thoughts I had that day! But Cathy laughed and waved at them From just beyond my reach, And two of them came swimming and They seized an ankle each, They pulled her off the ledge and laughing In that pool so blue, Then swam around her teasing so I knew not what to do. Now Cathy was a swimmer, she Could more than hold her own, But when they swam around her What I saw would make me groan, For as they broke the surface I Could see her face was pale, And each of these fair maidens, well, They had a fish’s tail. They whirled around and tumbled her And pulled her by the hair, And soon I saw her fighting them As if in need of air, I dived in then to free her but They saw me coming down, And took her to the depths with them Until poor Cathy drowned. I totally lost sight of them And had to clamber out, Sat weeping by the pool until Just like a waterspout Her body shot up from the depths And then the mermaids three, Swam clinging to each other, looked Apologetically. They didn’t know we had to breathe They had no need of air, They made me signs of penance but My Cathy simply stared, And in her eyes a look of awe As if in death she’d seen A world that was worth dying for, A dream within a dream. David Lewis Paget
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Jan 30, 2015
Jan 30, 2015 at 8:47 PM UTC
The Grotto
We had come across this grotto in The cliff near Cater’s Pride, And were swimming in the shallows When we took a look inside, There was just a tiny entrance that Had broadened to a hall, And the strange effect of lighting seemed Reflected off each wall. There were seashells, there were gemstones Shining, in the rocky face, And a narrow path around a pool With depths we could not trace, But the water was so clear and blue, And warm, it must be said, That Cathy cried, ‘Can this be true?’ While I just shook my head. We sat back on the ledge and dangled Feet down in the blue, We didn’t know that danger loomed And nor, I think, would you, But then some minor turbulence Disturbed the perfect pool, And suddenly three heads appeared To laugh, and play the fool. Three nymphs with sparkling eyes and teeth Who splashed, their laughter pealed And echoed round the grotto, as Their presence was revealed, They saw us and they beckoned us As if to swim and play, If only caution reckoned in The thoughts I had that day! But Cathy laughed and waved at them From just beyond my reach, And two of them came swimming and They seized an ankle each, They pulled her off the ledge and laughing In that pool so blue, Then swam around her teasing so I knew not what to do. Now Cathy was a swimmer, she Could more than hold her own, But when they swam around her What I saw would make me groan, For as they broke the surface I Could see her face was pale, And each of these fair maidens, well, They had a fish’s tail. They whirled around and tumbled her And pulled her by the hair, And soon I saw her fighting them As if in need of air, I dived in then to free her but They saw me coming down, And took her to the depths with them Until poor Cathy drowned. I totally lost sight of them And had to clamber out, Sat weeping by the pool until Just like a waterspout Her body shot up from the depths And then the mermaids three, Swam clinging to each other, looked Apologetically. They didn’t know we had to breathe They had no need of air, They made me signs of penance but My Cathy simply stared, And in her eyes a look of awe As if in death she’d seen A world that was worth dying for, A dream within a dream. David Lewis Paget
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73
he sings about a family photograph in a language i understand no better than a mathematical equation and i grasp the strength and weakness in his voice and the vibrations they send through my wooden table and all its contents my eyelids flutter open and shut like a dying moth, trying to be in sync with the music but unable to i stretch and fold my legs as i hit the replay button, crack some knuckles and glance around in double vision as i'm being slowly oxidized to death i have pictures of a smiling childhood idol pasted on the wardrobes, a series of little pale yellow lights taped apologetically to the textured, pastel blue wall. i have writings on my wall in colours i cant find within myself, and i suddenly pray this poem won't disappear with the glitches of technology. i pray to nobody, no god, no spirit. being the atheist i am, i feel strange closing my eyes, “please let it be okay” echoing in my head every time. but these are not my thoughts. these are not your thoughts. they simply are. he continues belting out notes and i breathe without rhythm. my lungs are tone deaf. i get goosebumps on my hairless limbs for a second. applause resounds, it's a live recording of the song. short pause, next. piano picks up pace and the mellow voice of a different man of the same tongue fills the room. a little more lively. i realize it's not the words you need to understand what he means.
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Sep 22, 2016
Sep 22, 2016 at 4:32 AM UTC
ballads of being aware
Those remembered doubts which night trysts dissolve. Those careful steps ascending towards bodied joy Come abide with me. Silhouette Maple tree hither my Wile. Those nagging doubts dissolves night's gown. More careful than misplaced steps, cajoles the pressing concern Come hither with me. For your silhouetted laughter flights from loves concourse Those raging doubts Have left me I had to choose Between you and the clear blue light. That night gown you apologetically wore is abject in happen-stance. Shrouding the matter further Loves discourse blighted Where hearts resolved to meet. Metaphysical garden, overwrought thoughts revealingly
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Dec 8, 2012
Dec 8, 2012 at 1:07 PM UTC
The night gown poetically breezes
Roaming this earth with eyes wide open Each step leading to an inevitable conclusion Praying, wishing, hoping To be vanquished from delusion Apologetically inclined to greet the masses With whom there could be no substitution Allowing me my penance For a most obscure intrusion Announcing my presence the only solution No witchcraft involved or magical potion Just plain and simple A raise and promotion Bewildering faces at the thought or the notion No dry eye in sight Nay a gentle touch Nor equivalent motion An overlooked confession An unwanted devotion That inevitably always leads To a misguided explosion Thunderstruck and moved by emotion Brisk and alive we set aside our aggression And conduct without hesitation The mathematical quotient A perfect infusion of time and of space Taught only at the most expensive institutions Or figured out in Layman's terms By just listening to our intuition Praying, waiting, wishing, hoping.
0
Oct 18, 2015
Oct 18, 2015 at 10:35 AM UTC
Eyes Wide Open
the monday was, as any mondays are, unexpected and unenthused with the weekend past i had begun talking to a girl whom i met through mutual friends who frequent our neighborhood coffee shop we decided to meet at a hookah place notoriously named after our cities zip code; it seemed our small but mighty home was trying to make a name for itself i had not given her much thought for doing so would cause my knees to weaken and my stomach to churn but we sat down, ordered our concoction of tobacco and talked about the things we always talked about amidst a mixture of light conversation laced with slight boredom and tobacco poisoning, she arrived, nonchalantly towards the end of our visit to hookah 402 I grew weary of another night spent in a mediocre way it never made sense to me how such interesting people could find so little to do maybe it was laziness, i don't know she asked us where we want our night to go and how we wanted it to go two questions i have asked my friends but have never been able to reach a conclusion or a satisfying end result furthermore, we got into kaylas car, our first destination was a coffee shop, as it usually is we got our coffee and decided to use my fake id and get alcohol from a liquor store in north omaha while i may not have been nervous on the way there, our conversations distracting me from the possibility of receiving a felony, my heart picked up speed when i handed the cashier my fake we got the alcohol and drove to the nearest gas station for a chaser while she was in the gas station an elderly man approached our car, immediately putting his shoulders to his jawline in defense he told us his name, even showed us where it was tatted on his arm, and asked us to drive him to his sister, whose car had just broke down i guarantee that if she had not been with us, we would have said no, apologetically but fearful of saying yes however, she was with us, and with her attitude of all-encompassing love, we said yes and he got in the car almost automatically the stranger and her began singing a beautiful duet
0
Jun 26, 2015
Jun 26, 2015 at 6:26 PM UTC
what I've wanted
the monday was, as any mondays are, unexpected and unenthused with the weekend past i had begun talking to a girl whom i met through mutual friends who frequent our neighborhood coffee shop we decided to meet at a hookah place notoriously named after our cities zip code; it seemed our small but mighty home was trying to make a name for itself i had not given her much thought for doing so would cause my knees to weaken and my stomach to churn but we sat down, ordered our concoction of tobacco and talked about the things we always talked about amidst a mixture of light conversation laced with slight boredom and tobacco poisoning, she arrived, nonchalantly towards the end of our visit to hookah 402 I grew weary of another night spent in a mediocre way it never made sense to me how such interesting people could find so little to do maybe it was laziness, i don't know she asked us where we want our night to go and how we wanted it to go two questions i have asked my friends but have never been able to reach a conclusion or a satisfying end result furthermore, we got into kaylas car, our first destination was a coffee shop, as it usually is we got our coffee and decided to use my fake id and get alcohol from a liquor store in north omaha while i may not have been nervous on the way there, our conversations distracting me from the possibility of receiving a felony, my heart picked up speed when i handed the cashier my fake we got the alcohol and drove to the nearest gas station for a chaser while she was in the gas station an elderly man approached our car, immediately putting his shoulders to his jawline in defense he told us his name, even showed us where it was tatted on his arm, and asked us to drive him to his sister, whose car had just broke down i guarantee that if she had not been with us, we would have said no, apologetically but fearful of saying yes however, she was with us, and with her attitude of all-encompassing love, we said yes and he got in the car almost automatically the stranger and her began singing a beautiful duet
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21
It’s Saturday morning, and even though it’s Thanksgiving break, Lisa and I are in her bedroom, in NYC, studying. “Ok,” Lisa stops, looks up and says, “give me a *** symbol.” “I.. I don’t have one on me.” I say, apologetically. “NAME one.” she clarifies. “Are there *** symbols” anymore?” I say, with air-quotes, “Who’s “Marilyn Monroe” today - Kim Kardashian - oooo - or Kendall Jenner?” “I read Emily Ratajkowski refer to herself as a *** symbol the other day.” Lisa says. “Is that the model that said she was groped at a naked photo-shoot?” I ask, as I google her. “Yeah,” Lesa nods, “but it was a naked music video shoot.” “Do you think I could model?” I ask, as I pose vampingly. “Be unflinchingly honest.” I request. “Hhmmmm,” she considers, framing me in a finger rectangle pretend camera. “You’re like Marilyn Monroe,” she says, “in a training bra.” We burst out laughing “Back to the subject,” Lisa says, “name a guy you think of as a *** symbol.” “Humphrey Bogart!“ I say. “Humphrey Bogart?? No!” she rejects him, wrinkling her nose, “too old-timey and dead, besides, he was a MOVIE star - come ON, a real one - SAY!” Michael Gandolfini!” I offer. “​​Michael Gandolfini??” she says, sounding stumped as her fingers google him. *I make a dreamy “mmmm,” yummy sound. “Oh, my GOD,” she says, and looks up for confirmation. “Humphrey Bogart and Michael Gandolfini - HONESTLY, you have the WEIRDEST taste!” I was shocked, “No, seriously, don’t you think Michael looks kind of soft, cute and.. LUVable?” She groans, “You’re going to marry an ugly man someday - aren’t you?” She pronounces, shaking her head. “AM NOT!” I responded, throwing a pillow at her head (a pillow fight ensues).
0
Nov 20, 2021
Nov 20, 2021 at 9:02 PM UTC
pronounced
It’s Saturday morning, and even though it’s Thanksgiving break, Lisa and I are in her bedroom, in NYC, studying. “Ok,” Lisa stops, looks up and says, “give me a *** symbol.” “I.. I don’t have one on me.” I say, apologetically. “NAME one.” she clarifies. “Are there *** symbols” anymore?” I say, with air-quotes, “Who’s “Marilyn Monroe” today - Kim Kardashian - oooo - or Kendall Jenner?” “I read Emily Ratajkowski refer to herself as a *** symbol the other day.” Lisa says. “Is that the model that said she was groped at a naked photo-shoot?” I ask, as I google her. “Yeah,” Lesa nods, “but it was a naked music video shoot.” “Do you think I could model?” I ask, as I pose vampingly. “Be unflinchingly honest.” I request. “Hhmmmm,” she considers, framing me in a finger rectangle pretend camera. “You’re like Marilyn Monroe,” she says, “in a training bra.” We burst out laughing “Back to the subject,” Lisa says, “name a guy you think of as a *** symbol.” “Humphrey Bogart!“ I say. “Humphrey Bogart?? No!” she rejects him, wrinkling her nose, “too old-timey and dead, besides, he was a MOVIE star - come ON, a real one - SAY!” Michael Gandolfini!” I offer. “​​Michael Gandolfini??” she says, sounding stumped as her fingers google him. *I make a dreamy “mmmm,” yummy sound. “Oh, my GOD,” she says, and looks up for confirmation. “Humphrey Bogart and Michael Gandolfini - HONESTLY, you have the WEIRDEST taste!” I was shocked, “No, seriously, don’t you think Michael looks kind of soft, cute and.. LUVable?” She groans, “You’re going to marry an ugly man someday - aren’t you?” She pronounces, shaking her head. “AM NOT!” I responded, throwing a pillow at her head (a pillow fight ensues).
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20
I want to drink all the juices of it’s light we can be bigger than this, older than this the ocean is only here for a while for us underneath your fingers I can already see the shaping of the amethyst we won’t tell the wind that this one day you will cross the street waiting for me on the opposite side our umbrellas will touch a glimpse of a smile and your hand waving apologetically flying like a bird away from my sight there you will be, my invisible wife we won’t tell the winds, we won’t tell the seas they are only here for a while that night when I fall asleep I will see the rivers on your palms leading me through that night we will leave life, my invisible wife and we will finally be
0
Jun 14, 2020
Jun 14, 2020 at 10:35 AM UTC
When the sun rises from within your eyelids
A subtle wind gently eased wild hair from his smiling eyes; the faintest hint of her essence hugged his comfy winter coat. Not a mile to the East, the same breeze drifted wearily towards a lonely house near a sparkling frozen river. There, kneeling at the edge of the water, a beautiful girl felt a subtle breeze gently caress her shiny blonde hair. The young maiden breathed in as the wind continued to brush past her shoulders. She exhaled with a giggle and a blush. This extravagant December morning, the sun rose in lavish style over the snow-bleached horizon. The lad had worked as a paper boy in this cozy town for a little over a year, and the morning before, he had spotted the most gorgeous girl kneeling by a riverbed. The young boy nearly broke his bicycle, he kicked the brakes with such force. He sat with open mouth and marveled at such a sight. The girl saw the boy out of the corner of her right eye, and shifted a little in a knowing manner. The smitten lad turned a shade of red that would make the Devil jealous, and tried to call out to this beauty. His voice failed him. Feeling the attraction radiating from the boy, the lass arose gracefully and walked towards him. The shocked boy seemed to forget how to walk for an instant. He fell flat on his face. He heard a hearty giggle, and though he thought himself a total klutz, he began to laugh at himself, with each breath ingesting cold, wet snow. “Saylor”, said the girl, offering a hand up for the boy. “Titan”, the boy replied, taking her hand. Laughing seemed to restore his confidence. “Sorry for staring” Titan said apologetically. “I’m sure you get that a lot”. Little did young Titan know, Saylor had been watching him every morning for weeks. Through the dining room window, she would watch as he would throw the paper towards her house, and pedal over the bridge leading into town. “Don’t apologize” Saylor remarked. “You should come back tonight. It’s been a while since I’ve laughed like that.” Not knowing exactly what she meant by that, and also not wanting to make himself look like a complete invalid by asking, Titan got back on his bike with a smile as grand as his elaborate fantasies of the night to come.
0
Dec 19, 2019
Dec 19, 2019 at 11:37 PM UTC
The Frozen River
A subtle wind gently eased wild hair from his smiling eyes; the faintest hint of her essence hugged his comfy winter coat. Not a mile to the East, the same breeze drifted wearily towards a lonely house near a sparkling frozen river. There, kneeling at the edge of the water, a beautiful girl felt a subtle breeze gently caress her shiny blonde hair. The young maiden breathed in as the wind continued to brush past her shoulders. She exhaled with a giggle and a blush. This extravagant December morning, the sun rose in lavish style over the snow-bleached horizon. The lad had worked as a paper boy in this cozy town for a little over a year, and the morning before, he had spotted the most gorgeous girl kneeling by a riverbed. The young boy nearly broke his bicycle, he kicked the brakes with such force. He sat with open mouth and marveled at such a sight. The girl saw the boy out of the corner of her right eye, and shifted a little in a knowing manner. The smitten lad turned a shade of red that would make the Devil jealous, and tried to call out to this beauty. His voice failed him. Feeling the attraction radiating from the boy, the lass arose gracefully and walked towards him. The shocked boy seemed to forget how to walk for an instant. He fell flat on his face. He heard a hearty giggle, and though he thought himself a total klutz, he began to laugh at himself, with each breath ingesting cold, wet snow. “Saylor”, said the girl, offering a hand up for the boy. “Titan”, the boy replied, taking her hand. Laughing seemed to restore his confidence. “Sorry for staring” Titan said apologetically. “I’m sure you get that a lot”. Little did young Titan know, Saylor had been watching him every morning for weeks. Through the dining room window, she would watch as he would throw the paper towards her house, and pedal over the bridge leading into town. “Don’t apologize” Saylor remarked. “You should come back tonight. It’s been a while since I’ve laughed like that.” Not knowing exactly what she meant by that, and also not wanting to make himself look like a complete invalid by asking, Titan got back on his bike with a smile as grand as his elaborate fantasies of the night to come.
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17
judgment pales when order is broken engulfed and corrupt in all that gets spoken and links to a lost lamenting sorrow we must turn to beg, steal and borrow a touch of adore and affectionate surprise reminiscence and memories deep in your eyes turns heads then hearts and snaps to attention faltering apologetically at the mere mention adrift adeptly to order the cure so plainly and succinctly she can act demure eliminate sadness complacency or shame abruptly parting and now placing the blame recalcitrant and diminished... hang on and hold tight amused and bemused now in distant flight like unwelcomed thoughts cutting and cold all will be judged when this story gets told
0
Sep 23, 2016
Sep 23, 2016 at 7:03 AM UTC
ipso facto