What the hell is X-Mas?
What does X-Mas mean?
It seems to coincide with Christmas
Is it something for the teens?

Is X-Mas from the X-Men
A Marvel comic sort of thing
I've looked it up on google
And no bells does X-Mas ring

Now, Christmas, that is different
I know exactly when that is
Well, not exactly to the minute
Is X-Mas the same as this?

I'm told that X-Mas is a way
to write down Christmas fast
I mean how lazy can a person be
To worry just what time has passed?

Christ is represented now
By an X and a small dash
Just think of all the time you saved
and of all the extra cash

Saved by companies on Christmas cards
It really makes you think
Three letters gone from Christmas cards
They save a ton of ink

An  X, it just does not make sense
At least it don't to me
If the X stands for his cross
Then why not use small T

To paraphrase a friend of mine
Don't send a card to me
If Christmas isn't printed there
Then it's a card I will not see

X-Mas is not a phrase
Even PC people say
They don't even understand it's use
They all say Holidays

So have a Merry Christmas
Celebrate, our saviour's birth
And bury X-Mas in a snow drift
Even that's more than it's worth.

Listen close...you'll hear the voices
Devil, Angel, Evil, Good
One tells you what you want to do
The other....what you should
One talks to you in black and white
The other shades of grey
Which one of them talks loudest?
Who do you hear today?

There's an angel on your shoulder
And a devil in your heart
One can make life beautiful
The other...tears apart
All that you believe in
The truths deep down you hold
Which voice do you listen to?
If I may be so bold...

Your true colour's showing now
It don't take much for it to show
You've worn a mask for all of us
To keep the real you hidden low
You're an angel for the public
But the devil rules your mind
You've got dark secrets in your closet
Secrets you hope we never find

Whichever path you follow
Whichever voice you hear
Remember, the end result
May hurt those you hold dear
An angel on one shoulder
And a devil in your heart
Don't sign until you're ready
Or you're done...before you start.


Is the angel just a puppet
Or is the puppet here just you
The strings are neatly hidden
So I give the devil his due
He's won you and is waiting
Sitting, waiting, biding time
He's already told his minions
That this boy's soul is mine

Did you find him in a bottle?
Was he driving a sports car?
Did he promise you a fortune?
Did you meet him in a bar?
Did the angel look away a bit?
And then you let him in
Remember, dogs can learn new tricks
But a snake...still sheds it's skin

Whichever path you follow
Whichever voice you hear
Remember, the end result
May hurt those you hold dear
An angel on one shoulder
And a devil in your heart
Don't sign until you're ready
Or you're done...before you start.

When did the world get colour?
did it happen overnight?
In all the older photographs
The sky is black and white
The trees are grey, the leaves aren't green
All the cars are grey as well
when did the world get colour?
Is there someone who can tell?

black and white in photos
black and white in all we did
One kept to another
Even when one was a kid
Don't mix them, it's immoral
It's a secret we keep hid
When did the world get colour?
Did God just lift the lid?

It's funny how with colour
all the photos that we like
Are the ones that show we're happy
The one's in black and white
We were posing looking silly
But were content in who we were
When did the world get colour?
Can you answer me please, sir?

Colour brings together
Lots of things, it shows our heart
Black and White,it is divisive
It's always driving things apart
There is an issue with one's colour
A racist gene beneath the skin
why can't the world be full of colour?
The way it's always been

black and white in photos
black and white in all we did
One kept to another
Even when one was a kid
Don't mix them, it's immoral
It's a secret we keep hid
When did the world get colour?
Did God just lift the lid?

I must report the passing of a dear old friend today
I'm not sure when it happened, but I felt I had to say
That the Vegas that's in movies, books, and on TV
Is not the one that you will find, it's not the one you'll see
I know your expectations are of glitter and of lights
Of singers in the lounges that play into the night
The lounges now are empty of the singers and the bands
Instead they're full of djs, and bad magicians badly tanned,
The song that was Las Vegas is not one thats in your head
The one you know with Elvis, is now gone, you see it's dead
The old hotels are gone now, It's not like it was before
The new buzzword in Vegas is now just, MORE, MORE, MORE
It's now a culture aimed at being bigger than the rest
For now it seems that bigger, means you're now known as the best
There's hotels full of bedbugs and the service is the *****
But, the casino doesn't care if there are people in the pits
The strip is nearly two miles long, and almost half is blank
It's like the desert opened up and ten casinos sank
At one end is the Stratosphere, it's got a real cool view
But, because of it's location it's not easy to get to
The Sahara was next closest, but now the Lady's gone
And to walk from this tram stop at night, well I cannot say it's fun
It's dingy and it's ***** and it's not a place to be
I wouldn't recommend this part, it's not a place to see
Freemont Street, The Old Vegas is off the beaten path
It's an hour ride upon the bus, and a taxi...do the math
It's just a place to go to once, there's no reason to return
And if you ever visit here, I think that's what you'll learn
The middle part of the strip is glitzy and spread out
It's kind of close to what Las Vegas is about
It's not all geared to people who have childeren all in tow
These ultra cool casinos is where you might just want to go
The other end is busy, but it's full of gloom and doom
And on every single corner, you can get girls to your room
There's people handing out small cards with women with a price
Who'll come up to your room and well....let's say they don't play dice
On every bridge across the strip, there's beggars and there's hawkers
They're selling everything from cds to bottled dollar water
It's tourist town, a fast food mess, it's Disneyland on crack
There's lots of things to do down here, but you must always watch your back
Did The Mirage **** it?, when Steve Wynn said let's go really huge
Hotels like this were ten times larger than the Moulin Rouge
It wasn't when Hughes came to town and bought the Desert Inn
You know the land that's now the new home of the casino known as Wynn?
It didn't die when Elvis left, it sill was full of life
But at someime since the town has died, it has fallen on the knife
The strip itself is two miles long, but you know that that's not all
In the years since Elvis left, it's become a big strip mall
There's stores here selling plastic , and the people shop in streams
I'm not sure, but to me NIKE is not the Vegas in my dreams
Rolling in their graves, I bet the stars who made this town
Are sitting in heaven or hell, saying when did it go down
There's more shows now of tribute acts and hypnotists galore
And you can find a Circus from Quebec through nearly every hotel door
At some point rigor mortis set into this old girl
I wish they could revive her, at least give it a whirl
There's buffets selling fried foods, obesity....my lord
And if you don't go out to Denny's, the restaurants you can't afford
My mind has got an image of Vegas that is cool
It involves going out late and spending daytime at the pool
You dress to go to dinner, maybe dancing and a show
And the concierge at the hotel is someone you should know
But now, you go out shopping to the outlet in the day
The casinos are all empty, since there's no one left to play
Getting dressed to go to dinner, means you switch from shorts to jeans
And the ways some people act now, well it's borders on obscene.
So, today I'd like to ask you all, for you may know more than I
But, can anybody tell me, just when did Vegas die?

At what point , does the liquor
Start doing the talking?
At what point do you cease to exist?
Is it three shots, or four shots
When the liquor starts talking
You are buzzed but you aren't really ******
The people around you
Notice you're slightly different
The bartender says to you
"no more drinks"
But the liquor inside you,
Tells him where he can stick it
The liquor's in charge now, me thinks
You try to control it
You try not to listen
You want to pack up and go home
But, the liquor inside you
Says, ****...keep on drinking
I'm in charge now,
And you're not alone.
It happens so quickly
The old you gets buried
The new you comes out
Between rounds
It's funny, it happens
When the liquor takes over
And it does it
without making a sound
Some people surface
when the liquor is talking
The new person is
much more fun
But, tomorrow...you'll know
that the liquor was talking
When your head hurts
at the sound of the sun
Drinking ain't evil
It's just a product of living life large
But, watch out you people
for when the liquor starts talking
you know you're no longer in charge
So, when does it happen ?
When the liquor takes over
Is it three shots or possibly more?
You'll know, yes I'm certain
when the liquor is talking
That is when they will show you
the door.

Why is when you are near
My heart is out of time
Why is it hard to catch my breath
When you are close, close by
My mind is all a muddle
when you are in the room
I can not make the words I want
Whenever you are near

My body has reactions
To your presence in my space
My thoughts are all a jumble
When I see your sweet face
I never do this normally
I can not explain why
But, it happens to me frequently
whenever you come by

I wish I knew the reason
Why do I act this way?
I wish that I could tell you
But, my mouth won't let me say
I love you and I always will
But, whenever you are near
My teeth and tongue and lips are tied
There'll be no sense in what you hear

Why does my heart skip a beat
When ever you're around
My skin gets wet and clammy
It knows you can be found
Somewhere close to where I am
My body lets me know
Why can I not make a sane thought
Why do you vex me so?

As long as you're around me
I can't think or breathe or write
I'm fine when you're not with me
But, as soon as you're in sight
My heart beats out of rhythm
And my mind's not working right
I love you and I need you
But, one thing that I fear
Is that these feelings all will leave me
If you are truly here

We've been together
Seems forever
But the passion
Is not there
The magic
Once between us
We both
No longer share

There is no
real emotion
in our voice
It's now a lie
At what point
Did the magic
Disappear
And die?

There's got to be a moment
We'll both find it if we try
We both know there is a moment
When it's time to say goodbye

Long ago
I loved you
And I know
you did too
But, now
your hearts not mine
It belongs
to someone new

Like ships that
are just passing
each other
in the night
Our daily
conversations
always end
up with a fight

There's got to be a moment
We'll both find it if we try
We both know there is a moment
When it's time to say goodbye

Remember when life was delivered

from milk right on down to your meat

There'd be people  out delivering groceries

At least two on every side street

If you neglected to pick up an item

Just phone up and talk to the store

A delivery boy would soon bring it

You don't get this service no more

Each house had a door for deliveries

Your milk, cheese and eggs would all fit

If you call up today and said "tab it"

The person you're phoning would ****

Ice was delivered in wagons

Horses pulled them around every town

But, today ony fast food is delivered

And delivery horses aren't  found

Every morning when you'd get your paper

It was delivered as well by a kid

You could smell the fresh bread in the morning

with the glass bottles of milk with gold lids

Remember when life was delivered

It was all a much simpler time

Back when customer service was special

No it's gone and that's just a crime

When the saints...go marching in
Oh when the saints go marching in
Oh how I want to be in that number
When the saints go marching in

Of all the saints, I want to know
The ones who write, I'd love to meet
Oh how I'd love to meet all the authors
When the saints go down the street

E.A. Poe...even Thoreau
Hemmingway would be ok
Mailer and Andrew Taylor
I'd learn to drink like a sailor
when these saints come strolling in

The Writers Guild...I'd be fulfilled
Meeting writers long since dead
Just think of what I'm learning
All that knowledge in their heads

I'd love to know, I'd love to know
Is Bill Shakespeare who we think?
Christie, Austen and Dickens
This is where the whole plot thickens
When the saints go marching in

Is it the best, of all the books
Is the bible just a tale
Can you think of someone better
When Melville speaks about a whale

Capote sits, while Chaucer reads
Bronte knits while Stoker bleeds
Oh how I want to be in that number
When these saints go marching in

The list goes on, oh on and on
There's just so many who've passed on
It's a list that leads by example
When these saints go marching in

Oh when the saints go marching in
When the saints go marching in
How I want to be in that number
When the saints go marching in

I can't sing a song on stage
when the words don't come
Can't write a poem
or fill a page
when the words don't come

I can't tell you how I feel
when the words don't come
Can't tell the falsehoods
from the real
when the words don't come

when the words don't come
when the words don't come
I am all alone
when the words don't come

I can not even speak my mind
when the words don't come
No direction
do I find
when the words don't come

I stand here, watch you walk away
when the words don't come
can't make you stop
can't make you stay
when the words don't come

when the words don't come
when the words don't come
I am all alone
when the words don't come

My world came crashing to a stop
Thirty four  years ago....on 8 December
I can tell you all just where I was
And I'm sure that you'll remember

I mourned the loss of a legend
I sat and cried for he who died
And like people the world over
Our emotions could not hide

Three years before, another
Died, but it didn't mean the same
He was found dead in his bathroom
A brand new image for his fame

I mourned the loss of a legend
One who died, but at what cost
He was a victim of his excess
I didn't feel the sense of loss

Two Men of peace in Sixty Eight
I was not yet seven at the time
Assassins changed the world we knew
It changed direction on a dime

The King of Camelot in waiting
His brothers shoes, this man would fill
But, for a bullett in Los Angeles
Would hit their mark and get the ****

The other man was destined
To die, because he had a dream
But he united those who heard him
It was a surreal as it did seem

Five years before in Dallas
A President brought down too soon
Was it a single snipers rifle
Or another on the knoll there in the gloom ?

For each of us, a moment,
When our world did change it's way
When we asked why did this happen ?
There was nothing left to say

Imagine or Remember
We all have that certain date
Be it November, or December
It was not ordained by fate

Lee Harvey Oswald, James Earl Ray
Sirhan Sirhan, Mark David Chapman
Elvis Presley, John F. Kennedy
Martin Luther King Jr, Robert F. Kennedy
John Lennon....ask which ones we should remember.

You've led me places beyond description
You've led me down a different path
You've taken me to destinations
You've made me cry and made me laugh
You've been my rock and inspiration
You've pushed me more than you could know
You've made me someone better
You had me at hello

I've done things I would not consider
Because of how you make me feel
I've become a better person
Because of knowing what is real
I've learned to share and be less selfish
Because of you and what you say
I've found a new and better person
You made me who I am today

I never knew that love had power
Like it does when I'm with you
It's a feeling beyond description
It makes us one instead of two
Years ago when I first saw you
It was just minutes before I'd go
And then I got your invitation
And you had me at hello

Two teenagers, unknown to each
Each wishing on a star
She, for eternal love
Him, a brand new car
They never knew their paths would cross
And their wishes they would get
She found her love, and him...a car
Don't leave...there's more here yet....

College years and future dreams
Still to come, with who?
Two teenagers growing up alone
I know what's next...do you?
He bought his car with money earned
From working hard at night
While she still waited for her love
Do you think they'll meet.....they might!!

When you wish upon a star
Remember which you picked
For now, you may get what you want
But, in the end....be tricked

Their paths did cross while he was out
He saw her walking in the rain
He couldn't stop to help her out
But he had to get her name
He did his run and went on back
Hoping she was still en route
She was soaked right through as he drove up
So, a dry ride home was moot

He took her home and she dried off
He sat waiting with a drink
She got all changed and then came out
He was not sure what to think
A t-shirt and her housecoat
Was all that she had on
She was sending him a message
He thought it time that he was gone

When you wish upon a star
Remember which you picked
For now, you may get what you want
But, in the end....be tricked

They dated from that night until
They decided they should wed
They were both near graduation
And they knew where they should head
They married and had children
They were perfect in every way
Imagine all this from a star
You wouldn't get all this today

As time went by, like it always does
They realized that their dreams
Were not the one's they used to share
They were ripping at the seams
The kids were always fighting
And I guess, they were too
Her dream of finding eternal love
I guess, had fallen through

When you wish upon a star
Remember which you picked
For now, you may get what you want
But, in the end....be tricked

They now slept in separate bedrooms
The kids were out and off to school
No matter what the weather
The house was always cool
They never spent a moment
Together anymore
The only ***, was a quick "*******"
As they passed on through the door

His car was dead and buried
With their marriage close behind
She'd wished upon a shooting star
And didn't like what she did find
Your dreams are what you make them
A star has a shelf life...don't forget
Before you wish upon one
Beware of what you'll get

When you wish upon a star
Remember which you picked
For now, you may get what you want
But, in the end....be tricked

Sitting in a rocking chair
Hearing voices that aren't there
With a face full of despair
Where did grandma go

Grandma sitting staring into space
With a lost look on her face
In a dress all edged in lace
Where did Granma go?

Grandma' still in side we know
Her expression doesn't show
Her old eyes have lost their glow
Where did Grandma go?
Where did Grandma go?

She used to laugh and tell us tales
"Bout old Ahab chasing whales
Now, her thoughts slow as a snails
Where did Grandma go?

We'll keep coming by to see
Till the day her mind's set free
She will not remember me

Where did Grandma go?
Grandma' still in side we know
Her expression doesn't show
Her old eyes have lost their glow
Where did Grandma go?
Where did Grandma go?

Doctor's came on their last rounds
Grandma was nowhere around
Grandma died without a sound
Where did Grandma go?

Grandma now is gone
flying up close to the son
We knew what had to be done
Where did Grandma go?

Grandma' still in side we know
Her expression doesn't show
Her old eyes have lost their glow
Where did Grandma go?
Where did Grandma go?

I remember the day I first held you
So tiny and small in my arms
I was wrapped around your little finger
I was taken by all of your charms

I was gone and I missed your first birthday
I missed your first day at school
I chose other things over my daughter
And now later, I feel like a fool

Where oh where did my little girl go?
When did my little girl grow?
Where oh where did my little girl go?
When did my little girl grow?

I'd be home, but just for a moment
I'd miss plays and concerts and stuff
I was your dad, but I wasn't your father
I can say that I was not there enough

You did well and you went on to college
I am proud of just who you've become
I regret how I was a father
But, am proud I was there on day one

Where oh where did my little girl go?
When did my little girl grow?
Where oh where did my little girl go?
When did my little girl grow?

Does anyone remember?
Do we really want to know?
When did things change?
Where did our innocence go?

Times were demanding
and secrets were hid
It was an easier time
When you were a kid

You might have a problem
With a bully at school
You'd take it out to  the schoolyard
And a fight would ensue

Now they are armed
Things just aren't the same
They have guns in their lockers
Just who is to blame?

What are we missing?
When did it all change?
Our kids sing of murders
Instead of home on the range

I wish there was a way
To go back in the past
When kids still were children
Now, they grow up too fast

Does anyone remember?
Do we really want to know?
When did things change?
Where did our innocence go?

Do you remember days gone by
When car songs ruled the radio
Think about the passing years
Where did these songs all go?
Little Honda, Duece Coupe
I miss my GTO
I miss the beach boy harmony
Where did the car songs go?

The Little Old Lady From Pasadena
My Hot Rod Lincoln...oh
Daddy took my t-bird away
Where did my car songs go?

Way back in the sixties
The car song, it was boss
Where has the music travelled
It's this generations loss

Do you remember days gone by
When car songs ruled the radio
Think about the passing years
Where did these songs all go?
Little Honda, Duece Coupe
I miss my GTO
I miss the beach boy harmony
Where did the car songs go?


Hot Rods, and dune buggies
The cars would go go go
Where are the car songs hiding
Does anybody know?

I miss my barracuda
My "Woody"  was the bomb
There's nothing out there like it
Where has the car song gone?

The music they are playing
Just puts me fast asleep
I need to hear my car song
No more "Rolling In The Deep"

Do you remember days gone by
When car songs ruled the radio
Think about the passing years
Where did these songs all go?
Little Honda, Duece Coupe
I miss my GTO
I miss the beach boy harmony
Where did the car songs go?

I went down to my local bar
It was country music night
I sat and listened for a while
Then, called it a night

I didn't get the music
It was poppish, bubblegum
I finished up my beer and  left
I wished I hadn't come

When did we lose Western?
When did Western cease to be?
They may call it Country music
But, it don't sound right to me

All I saw were baseball hats
On backwards I should stay
Kids were doing jello shots
And the "band" just couldn't play

They didn't sing of horses
Old Glory, or the West
They sang of drinking on a plane
And getting drunk and messed

When did we lose Western?
Where did Western go?
This isn't   country music
It's something I don't know

On Tuesday I went back again
Open Mic night would be fun
I came in with my guitar
But, I didn't bring my gun

I got on stage and started out
Singing songs...all Western
I was the only one without a cap
I was wearing my old Stetson

When did we lose Western?
Where did Western cease to be?
This wasn't what I grew up on
It isn't right to me

Cowboys, farms and Johnny Cash
Willie Nelson, Patsy Cline
That is what I like to hear
That's the music that is mine

Next time I go in there
And it is Country night
I'm gonna ask "what country?"
And I'll end up in a fight

When did we lose Western?
When did Western cease to be?
This may be Country Music
But it don't sound right to me

Why do people die?
Why do I get cold?
What makes air air?
Why do we get old?
My child asks these questions
And I don't want to look dumb
So, being a good father
I say..."Go and ask your mom"

How many is infinity?
How can birds fly?
Where do babies come from?
Why do people lie?
Sometimes I can tell them things
That I know they might believe
I don't do it all the time though
I just do it so they'll leave

Questions from the children
Make me seem quite dumb
I always tell them half truths
Then I send them to their mom
She tells them she's busy
And they come back to see me
I guess we'll learn together
I hope they can teach me

Why are clouds so puffy?
Why is water wet?
What's a kit and caboodle?
How do you place a bet?
I love it when they ask me
It shows they want to know
Exactly why things happen
And what makes most things go

What is the moon made of?
Is it really cheese?
I get questions like this daily
Why do people sneeze?
There's one that I can't answer
My daughter wants to know
When I make my morning toast
Where does my bread slice go?

Questions from the children
Make me seem quite dumb
I always tell them half truths
Then I send them to their mom
She tells them she's busy
And they come back to see me
I guess we'll learn together
I hope they can teach me

We all know time passes

Just blink and it is gone

But, you can bring it back a little

Just by listening to a song

A video, an mp3

You can travel through the years

It might bring you a sweet smile

Or may accentuate your tears

Time is such a fickle beast

It's a vesper you can't hold

One day you are young and fair

And the next day you are old

There never is enough of

And it vanishes so fast

You look into your future

And start remembering your past

Time cannot be captured

You can't trap it, make it yours

You can't keep it in a bottle

It won't help you open doors

But, just where does the time go?

Does it disappear for good?

If you knew you could just save it

Would you do it if you could?

I think I have an answer

Now that time has passed me by

I have less time in my mirror

That's the truth and not a lie

I think that time's immortal

It will never go away

It just hangs around and lingers

But, it's forever here to stay

So, back to our first question

Where exactly does time go ?

Time ...goes into your memories

Time goes into your mind's show

It feeds you little snippets

From the past, when you were young

It comes out from a scent you smell

Or you a hear a song that's sung

Time...it never leaves you

Though you don't know where it went

The memories stay with you

And will show how time was spent.

There is a question I must pose
Where do spirits get their clothes?
For if you saw a naked spirit
Would you really venture near it?
Most ghosts we see are all in white
While other ghosts, they dress up right
They show up dressed for all to see
Decked out in all their finery
So, where do spirits get their clothes
It's a secret no one really knows
They can't just wave a magic wand...
They shop at Bed, Bath and Beyond!!!

Why aren't my dreams in colour?
On the nights that I'm alone
Why do I dream in black and white
Whenever I'm alone?

Is there something I am missing
Just because you're not with me
Why can't I dream in colour
and see my dreams as they should be?

Come back and bring back the hues
That add technicolour to my life
I feel that I am incomplete
I'm a fork without a knife

My world is not exciting
When your'e not here to share
All our words and thoughts and dreams
I always need you to be there

My world loses it's colour
Even for a little while
My world is stuck in black and white
When I do not see your smile

Help me dream in colour
You know I'm awful on my own
I sitting waiting for your swift return
For there's colour when you're home

I first saw her at a party
Skin Tight jeans and Farrah's hair
She glanced and smiled in my direction
Trouble's brewing and it ain't fair

I knew right then I had to have her
Couldn't get her off my mind
I'd take her home and I would show her
A love of the most carnal kind

Where there's smoke there's always fire
Don't be fooled between love and lust
You've got to control your hearts desire
'Cause the fires hot and you'll end up dust

Working late without no distraction
The new secretary walked on in
I knew right then that I had to have her
My mind was thinking of only sin

She had a ring upon her finger
I didn't care, I had to know
She was selling and I was buying
I had some wild seed to sow

Where there's smoke there's always fire
Don't be fooled between love and lust
You've got to control your hearts desire
'Cause the fires hot and you'll end up dust

Running practice for all the kids
Getting sweaty with soccer moms
There was one standing there right beside me
I had to have her...and get me some

I made a move and she responded
Flipped me right onto my back
I thought here she comes, it's gonna happen
Then she kicked me in the sack

Where there's smoke there's always fire
Don't be fooled between love and lust
You've got to control your hearts desire
'Cause the fires hot and you'll end up dust

Today I sit and ponder
Of all that is my life
Of work and friends and family
Of my dear and loving wife

I ponder of my future
I don't worry of the past
That's all done and dusted
And it all went by so fast

I used to have a vision
But, that has long since died
I came close to achieving
And god, you know I tried

I ponder where I'd be right now
If just one thing had changed
How would my life be different?
If my life was rearranged

I ponder, but it's useless
My life is great as is
I cannot do much better
I'm happy with all this

I've got all that I can wish for
And I wouldn't change a bit
For now, my life is perfect
So, I ponder ....while I sit

Bucket full of coins and lint
From pockets of the passing
He sits there staring silently
His sign board does the asking

Truth be told he only wants
Money for his drink
His sign expresses honestly
What the passers by all think

Why Lie, Need *****
is written on his card
But, to look this man right in the eye
Is really something hard

He doesn't smile, is dressed for warmth
Even though it is quite warm
I don't think it's for the weather
It's for his own internal storm

That rips apart inside his soul
A storm that no one's seen
It knocked him on a wayward course
He lost who he might have been

We'll never know just who he was
We only know him at this hour
For those who pass him here each day
He's known as Whiskey Sour

He sits there with his plastic tub
Watching people on their way
Whiskey Sour thanks them kindly
No matter what they say

A victim of his own devices
Or a victim of all ours
No matter where you walk and look
You will all meet Whiskey Sours.

A man is always looking
To get some free advice
So go and find the fellow
Drinking whiskey over ice

Your friends will tell you one thing
While you're both knocking back a beer
But really, I mean really
Is this the stuff you need to hear

Find a whiskey drinker
He'll tell you how to buy a car
He'll share his whiskey wisdom
About what's a good cigar

A man who drinks good whiskey
Whether neat or over ice
Is the best one you can turn to
When you're looking for advice

He's made it and he knows it
He's not drinking at the pub
He's sitting in a wing back
Drinking whiskey at the club

So, if you're looking for assistance
And you need some good advice
Go get some whiskey wisdom
Sharing whiskey over ice

WHISKEY WISDOM 🎵
by Roger Turner

[Verse 1]
A man is always looking
To get some free advice
So go and find the fellow
Drinking whiskey over ice
Your friends will tell you one thing
While you're both knocking back a beer
But really, I mean really
Is this the stuff you need to hear?

[Verse 2]
Find a whiskey drinker
He'll tell you how to buy a car
He'll share his whiskey wisdom
About what's a good cigar
A man who drinks good whiskey
Whether neat or over ice
Is the best one you can turn to
When you're looking for advice

[Chorus]
🎶 Whiskey wisdom, smooth and slow
Poured out quiet, like you’d know
From an old soul in a leather chair
Who’s seen it all and doesn’t care
He’s not preachin’, he’s just nice
Giving whiskey wisdom over ice 🎶

[Verse 3]
He's made it and he knows it
He's not drinking at the pub
He's sitting in a wing back
Drinking whiskey at the club
He won't talk just to hear it
No small talk or some fad
He’ll tell you straight and simple
The kind of truth that your dad had

[Chorus]
🎶 Whiskey wisdom, smooth and slow
Poured out quiet, like you’d know
From an old soul in a leather chair
Who’s seen it all and doesn’t care
He’s not preachin’, he’s just nice
Giving whiskey wisdom over ice 🎶

[Bridge]
So skip the book, forget the blog
Turn off that podcast monologue
Sit down, pour ******* right
And listen to a man who’s lived some life

[Final Chorus]
🎶 Whiskey wisdom, tried and true
It’s not just what—but how and who
From love to loss, to deals gone bad
He’ll pour it out, the good and sad
No silver spoon, just lived it twice
Giving whiskey wisdom over ice 🎶

[Outro]
So if you’re lost or need direction
Or just some straight advice
Go get yourself some answers
Sharing whiskey over ice

What do you expect from me?
Am I your entertaining clown?
Am I always supposed to clicked on
When your friends come around?
Am I here for your enjoyment?
Am I here to make you laugh?
Do you want me for my company?
Or am I just on your staff?
The light goes on, and I'm on stage
Regardless where we are
I'm the center of attention
I'm a bug trapped in your jar
When I'm quiet you ignore me
When I'm on, you're by my side
I am just another plaything
Being taken for a ride?
I'm funny when I need to be
But, that's by your request
I'm a puppet on your little stage
When I'm on, I'm at my best
I hide behind my greasepaint
Wearing masks through out the day
But, when the footlights shine
And I'm in front, that's when I come to play
Am I funny just to please you?
Or am I really pleasing me?
The doorbell rang, your friends are here
Another show for free.

Are you King?
or are you Queen?
Which one of these are you?
Or, are you someone else instead?
Are you someone new?

Do you play the intellect?
Are you smarter than the rest?
If you are the intellect
What makes you the best?

Is your role the writer?
Putting words upon a page
Or, maybe you're an actor
Portraying characters on stage

Whichever one you choose to be
Always play it well
Is what you are a secret?
One you'll never tell

I can't play an instrument
A musician I'll not be
My brain won't work with science
A doctor, that's not me

At times I have played many roles
Sometimes, way back in school
I lost myself for a short time
And in the end, I played the fool

There are many roles that you will play
As you work your way through life
Husband, brother, father
Mother, daughter, wife

No matter which you choose to play
The fool is only one
Story teller, wordsmith
Make sure that you have fun

So, in the morning sunshine
Ask yourself "who shall I play?"
A new one, or an old one?
Just who am I today?

Like Harry Chapin's Mr. Tanner
I live an uneventful life
I have a day job and a puppy
And a strong and loving wife
Mr Tanner was a cleaner
Who sang while pressing clothes
I , myself am nothing more
Than a man who's writing prose
His friends and neighbors
Praised the voice that came out from his throat
My friends do just the same for me
They all like what I've wrote
But, now I take the step
The one that Tanner took
I'm opening myself on up
I'm now sharing my book
My poems, they are my children
The characters are me
I hope that you enjoyed all this
At least the show was free
If you like what was read
And you'd like to hear more
Just look for me on facebook
For these poems aren't in the store
Now, I 've shared who I am
Like Mr. Tanner did before
Now it is time for me to leave
And I hope you're wanting more.

The fear I have on Christmas Eve
Is one most have, I do believe
They tell my truth and don't decieve
Of visits from three spirits

Christmas future, present, past
Come for a night and do not last
It takes three hours and goes by fast
But, they are not the one I fear

Who will be my Jacob Marley?
Who will be my initial ghost?
Will it be my Uncle Charlie?
Who will be my spirit host?

Spirits three are set to come
the first to arrive at the stroke of one
It won't be long till the night is done
I don't know why they came to me

Nightmares and visions while I'm sleeping
From spirits who do not come creeping
I lie here hidden, softly weeping
It happens every Christmas Eve

Who will be my Jacob Marley?
Who will be my initial ghost?
Will it be my Uncle Charlie?
Who will be my spirit host?

My past is fine and present too
I know I'm fine, so how are you?
The past is old, holds nothing new
It's the future that needs changing

Three spirits come and three will go
The winds come too and they sure blow
My room is always full of snow
I just wish they'd shut the window

Who will be my Jacob Marley?
Who will be my initial ghost?
Will it be my Uncle Charlie?
Who will be my spirit host?

I wake up early Christmas Day
What I saw last night, I cannot say
I'll do my best and change I may
But, if  not....they'll be back next Christmas.

From the east coast to the west
And all points in between
Exploring places unexplored
Places no one's been

Ship disasters and the railroads
The highways and the sea
The woodlands and the cities
A trip through history

Who will tell the stories?
Now the painter has passed on
Who will tell the stories?
Now the Troubador is gone

Painted ladies in the taverns
Sailors on the ships
Don Quixote on the shoreline
The words flow from his lips

Lost loves and the heartbreak
Snowfall and some wine
The circle that is  smaller
A navvie on the line

Who will tell the stories?
Now the painter has passed on
Who will tell the stories?
Now the Troubador is gone

Reading minds and pony men
A nation at its' start
A love story at sundown
Songs sung from the heart

Painting pictures in our heads
With no paint just words
Close your eyes and listen
His voice flying with the birds

Who will tell the stories?
Now the painter has passed on
Who will tell the stories?
Now the Troubador is gone

Alarm clock dead, power's out
What've I got to shout about?
Running late, we're behind
It's things like this make me lose my mind
Hot girls, Cold Beer, Fridge full, Good Cheer
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Great view, Fast Cars, Good Friends, Full Bars
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Notes written, Kids set to go
Open the fridge, and boom...power goes
It's never ending, all frustrating
The problems are just resonating
Hot girls, Cold Beer, Fridge full, Good Cheer
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Great view, Fast Cars, Good Friends, Full Bars
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Kids dropped off, on the road
When suddenly another load
Of troubles makes my day
It makes me want to say
Hot girls, Cold Beer, Fridge full, Good Cheer
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Great view, Fast Cars, Good Friends, Full Bars
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Tire's flat, that's not new
What's a guy supposed to do?
I smile and call for towing
My temper now is showing
Hot girls, Cold Beer, Fridge full, Good Cheer
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Great view, Fast Cars, Good Friends, Full Bars
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Get in late, that's a given
Boss says "Turner, you're not driven"
"Success comes hard, it isn't easy"
That's when I get really queasy
Hot girls, Cold Beer, Fridge full, Good Cheer
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Great view, Fast Cars, Good Friends, Full Bars
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Not worth fighting, got a meeting
Meanwhile I am overheating
All I know is that I try
And days like this just make me cry
Hot girls, Cold Beer, Fridge full, Good Cheer
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Great view, Fast Cars, Good Friends, Full Bars
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Work the day out, heading home
Knowing I am not alone
Millions more go through this too
What's a guy supposed to do?
Hot girls, Cold Beer, Fridge full, Good Cheer
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Great view, Fast Cars, Good Friends, Full Bars
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Ads are fake, and it's all phony
As I sit watching on my Sony
But one day it'd be really nice
To have that life, and glacier ice
Hot girls, Cold Beer, Fridge full, Good Cheer
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Great view, Fast Cars, Good Friends, Full Bars
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Really, Why can't life be a beer ad?
Just one little, stinking ****** beer ad...For Me?

I remember watching
Back in 1963
A Presidential funeral
There on my tv

My son watched his son
And he saw me cry
Then my son looked up and said
"Why did he have to die?"

Five years passed, a Memphis death
Was felt throughout the land
My son watched this and said to me
"I do not understand"

I looked at him, looked at the ground
And looked high into the sky
My son, said "Dad please tell me?"
"Why did he have to die?"

Again that summer, sixty eight
We stood along the track
We watched the train go past us
We knew he wasn't coming back

My son, a little older
watched as I tried not to cry
He said "it's ok to feel that dad"
"Why did he have to die?"

Years went by and he grew up
Got married moved away
I remember sitting watching
On that warm September day

Two Towers tumbled to the ground
My heart broke, and I cried
My son, went in to save them
"Why did he have to die?"

I'll never get an answer
Till the angel's song is sung
"Why did he have to die?" I'll ask
Why do the good die young?

If love is forever, why do people divorce ?
Some people stay married as a matter of course
If love is determined, it comes down to fate
Then why in some cases, does it happen so late?
Some people get married, divorced, move along
some just don't know what they're doing and most get it wrong
Remember, love is forever, that's the vow that you took
But love isn't something you can learn from a book
It's a feeling  inside, in a place you can't find
It's not just in your heart, it's stuck  in your mind
Love is being willing to sacrifice your life
For not only your children, but your friends and your wife
But, people do not find it on their first go on the ride
Sometimes it's confusing what they're feeling inside
It sneaks up in stages, one day at a time
But, when it really gets a hold it's a feeling sublime
You cherish each moment, you don't think of yourself
you put your old you in a box on a shelf
Some people get lucky and find love first time through
It didn't happen in my life, but it might have with you
But, now that I have it, I know that this is real
It's a feeling when I;m lonely, that is just surreal
I don't think what I want to do, I think only of of you
Your life becomes the other one and with their life you're two
If the feeling is the same for them, a love they can't deny
Then you know that it was determined and will last until you die
But, if love should be forever why do we get it wrong
And keep divorce lawyers working, why does it take so long
To figure out we're not in love and we've got to start again
Why can't we find out quick, like by the count of ten
I'm glad that love's forever, and my love is so great
I just wish whoever planned it, had not left it so late.

The wind was picking up

as she led them from the store

They'd bought all of their groceries,

They had no room for more

Young Willa and her sisters three

Looked over their short list

They had to check and check again

To see just what they'd missed

Willa led them home

Before the hail and rain came down

They would batten down the hatches

Before the storm battered the town

Her father was out working

And would not be home in time

To see that they were all in safe

To most, that was a crime

But, Willa took the girls inside

And kept them safe and warm

She made them all hot chocolate

To distract them from the storm

See, Willa was fourteen years old

A child too you see

But to her sisters, she had another role

That's not yet plain to see

Their mother left five years back

To find a better life

She was a failure as a mother

And was useless as a wife

So Willa stepped on up

And she took care of the young brood

While her father worked in Lansing

Making money for their food

Her friends did things without her

She was always taking care

Of her sisters and the household

For her mother wasn't there

She sacrificed her chldhood

While her friends went out with boys

She stayed home with her stisters

Doing homework,  making toys

There wasn't enough money

To buy toys for them all

But Willa made them something each

Something special, every fall

Her father tried as best he could

To get work close to town

But, there was no work out there

Since the Auto Plant closed down

So, Willa kept on working

As a mother to the girls

She would cook and do the cleaning

She would help with Lisa's curls

Her father knew her sacrifice

Was more than he could ask

But Willa, never shrugged it off

She was equal to the task

She knew that her poor father

Would never find another bride

For who would want a husband

With four children at his side?

So Willa, kept on working

And she put her dreams behind

And to childhoods joys and treasures

She pretended to be blind

Her sisters knew that Willa

was the rock that held them strong

And they did what Willa asked them

Whether right or whether wrong

Willa's friends moved on with out her

Some to college, some to work

But, this role that she had taken on

She'd never ever shirk

On Willa's eighteenth birthday

Her sisters gave her gifts

Some presents she would treasure

They would give her heart a lift

Her youngest sister Lisa

Gave her a brown teddy bear

It was old and slightly tattered

And it didn't have much hair

Willa held that Teddy Bear

For now it was her own

Lisa said "you love it"

"It's yours , now I have grown"

The second gift from sister Lee

Was a barbie with one eye

That didn't really open

And this made poor Willa cry

She gave this doll to lee when

She'd fallen down out back

She had got twenty stitches

And these were draen on the dolls leg

The next gift that she opened

From her her sister Kate

A small red book of poems

That her sister thought were great

The book was bound in leather

And it locked with a small hook

But it never really closed quite right

For the hook just never took

The final gift was from her Dad

In the box, a scarlett bow

And a note that said "I Love You"

"I just wanted you to know"

"I'm proud of the young woman"

"That you've grown into  alone"

"And I'm proud of how you've taken"

"And made this house a home"

Willa cried and took her presents

To her room, put them away

For today was almost over

Tomorrow was another day

She gathered up her sisters

And she ushered them to bed

For tomorrow's still tomorrow

That's what Willa always said

The day had been quite special

Made her forget all her strife

But tomorrow's still tomorrow

And we still must live our life.

I don't know where they are now

Or just where they do reside

But I do know that our Willa

Is one stronger than the tide

I'm sure that they are happy

And are proud from where they've come

Because of how poor Willa

Became their sister and their Mum.
.

"The next speech to be given
Is one we need to hear
I'd like to call on William
Who has overcome his fear
William, please come forward
And take your place with me
And children, listen closely
As we let dear William be...."
William then ventured forth
From the back where he sat
He was dressed in a long jacket
And a worn out stove top hat
Before he started talking
More instructions were delivered
"Don't laugh, or talk or clap people...."
While at the front William shivered...
The class went deadly quiet
And William went to speak
No one could quite hear him
His voice was soft and meek
"Four Thcore and Theven yearth ago
Our fatherth brought forth
Upon thith continent
A new nathion, conthieved in liberty.."
William finished speaking
The class just sat there dumb
No one knew this William
From where had this one come
Each year in school since JK
Willaim rarely said a word
And if he ever answered
No one really heard
But today...today he was a hero
Standing proud in his black hat
He had stunned them into silence
Knocked them dead just where they sat
He practiced with the teacher
Every afternoon at home
He worked on words in secret
When he was sitting all alone
The Gettysburg Address
Never, sounded quite as great
As when recited by young William
This young man in grade eight
He had broken his long silence
As the year came to an close
By reciting Old Abe Lincoln
In his black and borrowed clothes
He'd defeated all his demons
Showed his lisp just who was king
Now he ventured into high school
And the worst that it could bring
The bell went off, class was dismissed
The silence was now burst
The children stood to exit
And they let William leave class first

Today I got a message
from a friend in poetry
if you get a request to be my friend
i'll tell you it's not me
there's another person out there
who's playing at a game
he's gone and made a copy
of me with the same name

i thought on this a while
our Johnni's not alone
there's a version of him out there
Our Johnni has a clone
Of all the people out there
why did he chose to be
Johnni Stanton esquire
why did he not choose me?

Imagine now...two Johnni's
riding scooters down the street
Giving Johnni Stanton scowls
To everyone they meet
Johnni earned his reputation
Through all the things that he has done
And if you ask me my opinion
I think there's room for only one

So, I'll keep checking for that someone
Who will ask a friend like ne
And will report that cloned imposter
To the powers there that be
There only is one Johnni
There's no room for any more
He's our impassioned, mad curmudgeon
All the way through to his core.

The Old Man sat out front and watched
As the sky started to change
The clouds were forming quickly
They were looking rather strange

He said "It's time to round  'em up"
"Get ready for a ride"
"We've got to get the horses"
"And get them all inside"

"A day, maybe two at most"
"We'd best get set to hunker down"
"It won't be long before"
"We see more white than brown"

"Those clouds on the horizon"
"The way they dip and make that hole"
"That's the Window Into Winter"
"On that, I'd bet my soul"

He walked into the bunkhouse
Grabbed his gear, and looked around
He yelled, "That's The Window Into Winter"
"Snow, will soon be on the ground"

Now, normally, the clouds roll in
There's a storm and then the snow
With The Window Into Winter
It gives us time, it lets us know

"Someone get a list made"
"We need supplies, and need them fast"
"That Window won't stay open"
"It's gonna close, it will not last"

"Heed the Window into Winter"
"It gives us one more chance before"
"Jack Frost and all his helpers"
"Come knocking at our door"

Now, remember when you see it
Between the clouds up in the sky
There's a hole between the mountains
And that says, that Winter's nigh

It's The Window Into Winter
Now get along and get to work
Bring the horses in and hurry
There's things to do, so do not shirk

Once the hole has closed up tightly
And the clouds are all but one
Then The Window Into Winter
Will be no more, the fall is done.

A child's eyes show innocence
They are open to things new
They show with no discretion
They see all the things we do
A child's eye's receptive
To the joy and pain we see
It's a window, unobstructed
It's the way that things should be

A young man's eyes, they wander
They see the future not the past
They are open to advancement
They see things that we know don't last
A young man's eyes are blurry
They show them what they want to see
They show innocence is missing
They show that nothing good is free

The eyes of a middle aged man
They are the windows to the end
They see retirement is coming
They see that age is not a friend
The eyes of a middle aged man
They show regret and are all red
These eyes are always tired
They show what they should have done instead

The eyes of an old man show
The innocence of the child
They show recollection of their passage
They are full of love and they are mild
They old man's eyes look backward
More than at the future that is passed
They see the good times far behind them
They show the memories that will last

Your eyes, they are the window
To the world you see each day
They show you things of beauty
They show the world at play
An innocent sees nothing but
The world as it should be
So, take the time and clean your window
And see the world like me

The two of us staring
At the stars in the sky
Making wishes on comets
And things that fly by

What will we be like?
Where will we live?
We will we both be successful?
Will we both take or give?

Questions unanswered
Questions not asked
Some are worth knowing
Some left in the past
Go in with eyes open
Your life will be grand
Just give it your damndest
And go lead the band

In the back of the pickup
My girlfriend and me
Make dreams upon stardust
At a quarter to three

We're out in the cornfield
In my old chevy truck
Planning out lifes direction
On a stroke of good luck

Questions unanswered
Questions not asked
Some are worth knowing
Some left in the past
Go in with eyes open
Your life will be grand
Just give it your damndest
And go lead the band

It may be a spaceship
That's come down from afar
Or we may be there wishing
On some shooting star

Our future is waiting
There'll be tough times ahead
Meeting those expectations
We made in that truck bed

Questions unanswered
Questions not asked
Some are worth knowing
Some left in the past
Go in with eyes open
Your life will be grand
Just give it your damndest
And go lead the band.

witches witches everywhere
how many do you see
there's witches in the garden
hiding in a tree

there's witches playing football
witches having tea
witches walking down the beach
witches swimming in the sea

all around us witches
some are hidden
some are not
i have discovered lately
of witches....there's a lot

witches drinking coffee
witches at the store
witches at the doctors
witches sitting on the floor

witches flying broomsticks
and witches driving cars
witches riding bicycles
witches hiding in the stars

there's witches having picnics
witches playing in the park
witches lighting fireworks
witches dancing in the dark

witches running races
and witches playing games
witches riding horses
with funny witchy names

on hallowe'en the witches
get together, one and all
and while the kids are trick and treating
they watch movies at the mall

there's witches almost everywhere
you have to look and see
now, count up all the witches
did you get the same as me?

Perfect! Here’s a Table of Contents and Index of Tales for the Mariposa Halloween Cookbook, designed to look like a true 1925 library-bound artifact:


---

Table of Contents

Recipes

1. Moonlit Pumpkin Stew – p.1


2. Widow Hargreaves’ Graveyard Cider – p.3


3. Ashes of Midnight Bread – p.5


4. Lantern-Light Turnip Soup – p.7


5. Witch’s Black Salted Caramels – p.9


6. Owl’s-Eye Porridge – p.11


7. Devil’s Candle Cornbread – p.13


8. Fog-in-the-Belfry Punch – p.15


9. Candied Beetroot Fingers – p.17


10. Jack Kelleher’s Bonfire Chestnuts – p.19


11. Widow’s Walnut Loaf – p.21


12. Shadow-Stepped Pudding – p.23


13. Bone-Crunching Apple Fritters – p.25


14. Phantom-Candle Corn Pudding – p.27


15. Cauldron-Kissed Chocolate Cake – p.29


16. Phantom Punch – p.31


17. Widow’s Walnut Loaf (revisited) – p.33


18. Witchlight Jelly – p.35


19. Scarecrow’s Stew – p.37


20. Jack-o’-Lantern Jam – p.39


21. Witchfinder’s Porridge – p.41


22. Spider’s Silk Candy – p.43


23. All-Hallows Honey Cakes – p.45


24. Coffin-Top Crumble – p.47


25. Eternal Autumn Ale – p.49




---

Marginalia & Notes – p.51

Stir clockwise for luck

Ghostly whispers indicate perfect brewing

Coffin-Top Crumble crumbs may march

Singing to dough ensures courage

Silver coins attract minor spirits
(full 30+ notes continue)



---

Index of Tales

Flying Tinker and Moonlit Pumpkin Stew – p.2

Mossy Bootprints from Graveyard Cider – p.4

Dreams of Forgiveness from Ashes of Midnight Bread – p.6

Turnip Lantern Whispers – p.8

Candies Predict Visitors – p.10

Owl’s-Eye Porridge Watches the Children – p.12

Mischief from Devil’s Candle Cornbread – p.14

Fog Spirits and Punch Whispers – p.16

Red Fingers That Teach Courage – p.18

Fiery Chestnuts and Scandalous Tales – p.20

Widow’s Loaf Dreams – p.22

Walking on Shadows with Shadow-Stepped Pudding – p.24

Bone-Crunching Courage in Apple Fritters – p.26

Floating Phantom-Candle Corn Pudding – p.28

Cauldron-Kissed Cake and Invisible Mischief – p.30

Phantom Punch Fog Whispers – p.32

Glowing Walnut Loaf for Dreamers – p.34

Moonlight Jelly Guides Lost Children – p.36

Scarecrow Stew and Vegetable Escapades – p.38

Jack-o’-Lantern Jam Lights the Way – p.40

Witchfinder’s Porridge Reveals the Guilty – p.42

Spider’s Silk Candy Binds Spirits – p.44

All-Hallows Honey Cakes and Longevity – p.46

Coffin-Top Crumble Marches at Night – p.48

Eternal Autumn Ale Keeps Hearts Young – p.50



---

This Table of Contents and Index will make the cookbook feel authentic, complete, and library-ready — perfect for printing as a faux artifact or displaying digitally.

If you like, I can add a final “cover page and title design text description” to complete the full artifact experience, giving it the feel of a real 1925 leather-bound book.

Do you want me to do that?

You've been together for almost a month now
It's time that you shared this with friends
But, beware of the wolf in sheeps clothing
Because this is how most friendships end

You feel it is time to expose him
To your friends and to let them all in
But, beware of the wolf in sheeps clothing
He's the original purveyor of sin

You've opened the door to the hen house
There's a fox running lose in the pen
You opened the door to the hen house
He will feast and return to his den
You opened the door to the hen house
You've let him meet your girl friend
You opened the door to the hen house
Now the fox will run wild till the end

Your girlfriends all think he is ****
He laughs when they laugh and you too
But, do you know of this wolf in sheeps clothing
and just exactly what he plans to do

He flirts and he turns down advances
He smiles and he's light on his feet
but remember the wolf in sheeps clothing
Is busy picking which one he shall eat

You've opened the door to the hen house
There's a fox running lose in the pen
You opened the door to the hen house
He will feast and return to his den
You opened the door to the hen house
You've let him meet your girl friend
You opened the door to the hen house
Now the fox will run wild till the end

He may be the one you've been wanting
But, in truth, he's not really the one
Deep down, he's a wolf in sheeps clothing
And he's only out looking for fun

He fooled you and used you for pleasure
He'll move on, when you say settle down
Remember, he's a wolf in sheeps clothing
He's the king and he wears the crown

You've opened the door to the hen house
There's a fox running lose in the pen
You opened the door to the hen house
He will feast and return to his den
You opened the door to the hen house
You've let him meet your girl friend
You opened the door to the hen house
Now the fox will run wild till the end

When people ask me "when you write, where do you get ideas"
I say sometimes they arrive at night, and other times from beers
I put words in an order that people seem to like
To me it is real easy, like riding on a bike
You can do it too I say, the words are all the same
Just write about the things you like, and make it like a game
Take things that go on naturally and give a little twist
Some will like what you just wrote and others will be ******
Now, take it one step further and give this one a try
Try to keep them twisted, but try to make them cry
Now some words fit together and they go together well
While others change in meaning, they shoot your writing all to hell
Certain words just do not work and to them I give a pass
It never made much sense to me when one says "plastic glass"
Jumbo shrimp is another phrase that I find quite confusing
But to George Carlin, these two words were really quite amusing
One word right now I'd like to use, and I don't want to be a hero
Is the one you know, that means nothing and that word now is ZERO
A zero is what's left when you take all things away
It can also be a person, like an actor in a play
It isn't easy to write this word alone and make it fun
And even when you pair it up, your work just isn't done
It changes things, negates, subtracts it's not an easy word
And in fact outside of math class, it's very rarely heard.
It doesn't come off positive and it doesn't make one laugh
To even use it properly, your work you have to craft
Other words and phrases can complicate things too,
For instead of just one meaning, there's some that might have two!
***** is one example of a word that goes both ways
And if you look down deep enough, there's humour in that phrase
I try to pair words up in ways I hope will not offend
I try to take some topics, twist them up and then I blend
Them all together to make it something new
Of all the poems I seem to write you may only see a few.
Now, back to words that don't make sense, and this to you I'll show,
The next word will be tolerate, you know...accepting, letting go,
Tolerance is something most accept, you know just let things  slide
But pair it up with other words and the doors just open wide
Just pair it up with zero and it means that's not allowed
Not now, and no not ever, not alone or in a crowd
But funny, how this phrase gets used and used and used again
It's like saying "Now...I've told you once...and I'll tell you yet again"
To me it means "your'e finished, you've broken all our trust"
"you've taken our **** rule book, and you've made it into dust"
To me it means final, the end, no more, you've ended up like Nero
I need to know, how many times there are that add to Zero!
Now, many words can hurt and sting and just aren't nice at all
These, I avoid and in a pinch, I work on back to "ball"
I'm glad that you have taken time to read my poems and verses
It's because of you that I stay sane, and stay away from Nurses
and Doctors who say, you're just mad, your mind it isn't right
So, I listen to their words, twist them up and say good night
Now, do yourself a favour, try and write something that's fun
You can show it off to others or you can be the only one,
That reads what you have written, you know it really could be good
But, you'll never know exactly...till you show it like you should.

Another Day
Another dollar
That's what I get
For, I'm blue collar
Working hard
For all the bosses
Sitting upstairs
In the office

Grab a coffee
On the way
do the same stuff
every day
nothing changes
It's routine
That's the way
It's always been

I am just a working man
Doing the best job that I can
Nine to Five, or Eight to Four
Do my eight and out  the door
Loading trucks to hit the road
Get 'em out with a full load
Doing just the best I can
I am just a working man

Twenty minutes
and two breaks
That is all
The time I take
Sneak a smoke
When I can
This is the life
Of a working man

Old and rusted
two tone truck
Always busted
Just my luck
Working hard
To make a dollar
It's the lot
of a blue collar

I am just a working man
Doing the best job that I can
Nine to Five, or Eight to Four
Do my eight and out  the door
Loading trucks to hit the road
Get 'em out with a full load
Doing just the best I can
I am just a working man

The world's out of order
My life is a mess
I need a weekend of chillin'
To help decompress
A few days of football
And drinks and good friends
Will fix up my mood
And get this blackness to end

My wife's with another
And my car died en route
To my place of employment
So, I got the boot
The dog found a new friend
he met up with a skunk
And what's left of my house
Has a wonderful funk

I'm sitting here working on Sunday's headache
Even though it's still only Friday
I'm running a tab, cause the bank's overdrawn
It's a bourbon and beer and a rye day

My ex called this morning
Said our daughters in jail
And she has no money
to help pay the bail
That black cloud of dismal
Still over my head
I should have rolled over
And stayed home in bed

They say your problems
happen in threes
Multiply that by five
And it happened to me
So it's time to move on
Sit and chill for a while
Forget all the crap
And just sit, drink, and smile

I'm sitting here working on Sunday's headache
Even though it's still only Friday
I'm running a tab, cause the bank's overdrawn
It's a bourbon and beer and a rye day

Now, I lay me down to sleep

In this dark, dreary December

If you awake and I am gone

What would you remember?

The way I laugh at little jokes

or how I drink my tea

The way I do the little things

Would you remember me?

If I had passed on in the night

would you think of how I looked

at ball games and at puppy dogs

and of all the things I cooked

My scent, would things remind you

of how I sometimes smelled

would you think of things I ******* up

and of all the times I yelled

If you awoke one morning

and found I'm not to be

what would you remember?

would you remember me?

If things did happen backwards

and I woke and you weren't there

I'd miss the way you smiled

The perfume of your hair

the ways your eyes did twinkle

when you had a special thought

of doing something naughty

of somewhow being caught

I'd remember things about you

of glances in the night

of how we worked together

of how we fit just right

I know that I'd remember

these things and more, you'd see

but I know, that I'd remember

But would you remember me?

write me a holiday song
one that doesn't revolve around lies
one that is full of the lows and the highs
not It's a Wonderful Life in disguise

Dad not quite sober
Gifts not all wrapped
Hugs from old aunties
In the hallway you're trapped
Write me a holiday song

Moms' in the kitchen
The kids by the tree
The men all are waiting
For dinner at three
Write me a holiday song

Life's not all wrapped up
With holiday bows
Christmas in real life
Is not Rudolph's nose
Write me a holiday song

People all argue
Fights will break out
Kids all are screaming
The good will's gone out
Write me a holiday song

write me a holiday song
one that doesn't revolve around lies
one that is full of the lows and the highs
not It's a Wonderful Life in disguise

The aunts and the uncles
and all other kin
Go to church Christmas Eve
To be absolved of their sins
Write me a holiday song

I'm sure Norman Rockwell
Didn't have real life in mind
When those Post cover pictures
He sat down and designed
Write me a holiday song

Bing Crosby is singing
While the massacre starts
Of the ham and the turkey
And other odd parts
Write me a holiday song

Stuff not on the table
Stuff left in the car
Eighteen conversations
Frozen beer in the car
Write me a holiday song

The facade is cracking
Real life has snuck in
Christmas is not a movie
It's just lead painted tin
Write me a holiday song

No one remembers
The bad times of the past
It just took a moment
It all happened so fast
Write me a holiday song

write me a holiday song
one that doesn't revolve around lies
one that is full of the lows and the highs
not It's a Wonderful Life in disguise

Write me a holiday song
One of truths and of memories
Of all that went wrong
I think I will smile
And I might sing along
Please write me a holiday song
Write me a holiday song
If I like it...I will sing along

I got my guitar
i'm sittin' here
writing songs
and drinking beer
written nothing
you'd want to hear
really...nothing...squat

no one bugs me
working hard
the kids are
playing in the yard
the dog is sleeping
keeping guard
I've nothing...bupkiss...squat

I've got the writers block blues
can't write nothing...'cept bad news
I've got the writers block blues
got nothing to lose
while I've got the writers block blues

had some words
but  no melody
not a **** note
has  come to me
i'm writing
a silent symphony
I've got bupkis,, nada,,,squat

last one I wrote
wasn't  mine
nice and easy
in three quarter time
turned out it was
Patsy Cline's
I've got bupkiss, nada, squat

I've got the writers block blues
can't write nothing...'cept bad news
I've got the writers block blues
got nothing to lose
while I've got the writers block blues